Episode # 100: Madison Malloy chats her new book: It's Time To Lighten The F'ck Up! Dating investments & Finances!

Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
Hey, everyone, Welcome back toanother episode of Chanel in the City on
iHeartRadio. I'm your host, ShanellaMarii and I have a very special guest
here today. She is one ofmy favorite people in this world. She
is an amazing stand up comedian.You can catch her all over New York
and the world. She's hilarious,she's beautiful, she's brilliant, she's kind,

(00:25):
she gives back. She's also oneof my favorite book authors. You
guys got to get the book calledIt's Time to Lighten the Fuck Up all
Right. A self help guide witha side of humor. And she's a
motivational speaker. She's inspiring, she'samazing. Please help me welcome my good
friend Madison Malloy to the building.I'm so excited to be here because you're

(00:47):
one of my favorite people too.I love that we said that in the
beginning. Yeah, you are amazing. First, I want to say,
there's not many people like you outin this world. I don't know how
to respond because I want to belike, I know. But then I'm
like, I'm not a narcissist,I swear right, but no, I
appreciate that. Thank you. Ifeel like you have a very good energy,

(01:07):
which is you know why I feelthis book is so important, especially
during this time, right because Ithink the way you and I had met,
we bonded. Right. We meton shout out to Ryan, to
Collis, our boy who runs ashow at New York Comedy Club. So
if people want to see comedy,they're always asking us they can go to
New York Comedy Club every Saturday andSunday. He runs a show at five
pm at New York Comedy Club,one of our favorite clubs in the world.

(01:27):
It's a great club. And wemet and we were talking about the
book, and I was like sodrawn to you because everything you were saying
was so authentic and so genuine,and you're like, girl, I've went
through this too, right, Likethere's so many different chapters. We're going
to get to to everything. Butwe were talking about how hard it is,
so kind of talk to us alittle bit about why this book why

(01:49):
now you know, So I wrotethe book because I had my own personal
struggles with you know, mental healthstuff and depression and anxiety, and constantly
you see how beautiful Madison is.Oh my god, I was so broken
on the inside. Everyone's like,you're so confident on the outside, you
look like so put together, yourlife so great. You're always on a

(02:10):
yacht, you know, it wasall smoking mirrors, And I was like,
ah, I sucked dick to geta No, I didn't. I
didn't. I made my friend doit. That's how. That's how you
get on a yacht. You makeyour friend suck the dick. That's what
you do. And then you Jesus, Okay, you're not guilty by association
exactly, but you still get thebenefit of the boat ride because your friend

(02:32):
doesn't want to be left alone.Do you see how that's great? That's
great? Yeah, so um.But anyways, as I was able to
kind of get out of it andfigure it out and start living in more
of an abundant mindset versus scarcity mindset, things started to rapidly change for me
and just realize like how overcomplicated Iwas making things that didn't need to be.

(02:58):
And so when I finally was ableto kind of like step into my
power, go with the flow,realize that things not happening for you is
actually benefiting you. Like life happensto you, not for you, I
feel I'm like I want to putthis in a book, but I had
to stay true to my humor becauseI say such inappropriate things that, um,

(03:19):
I want it. This is likemy gift to the world. Yeah,
in a way, it's an amazinggift. I want to talk about.
One of my favorite chapters is aboutfear, and you know it's it's
about letting fear, not letting fearget in your own way. Yeah.
Right, And a lot of timeswe've spoken about this, and and just
in general. You know, you'rein the entertainment industry. You have these

(03:40):
short term goals, long term goals, dreams, rights, aspirations that are
hard to to achieve, and youfeel like that noise in your head,
I'm not good enough. I shouldn'twrite that email because they might say,
no, you write a chapter aboutit, and so amazing because it actually
gets you out of your own head. I mean, what were you thinking
when you wrote that? Was thatof a personal experience as well? Like

(04:02):
were Yeah? I felt like Iwas very not only uptight, but I
was also very fearful. Like I, you know, just walked around with
the subconscious fear kind of controlling me, Fear of what people thought, fear
of what if it doesn't work out, fear of everything. It was like
I was almost self sabotaging myself,so I wanted to make sure I broke

(04:23):
down. Like, Okay, thereare legitimate things you should be fearful of,
but you do things to protect yourselffrom those fears. You go to
the doctor, you get insurance,you look both ways. Those are normal
fears, right, But then there'sthe irrational fears. What if this person
doesn't like me, what if theysay no, What if it rains next

(04:44):
Wednesday one of my botox wears offbefore an event. Those are irrational fears,
Okay, Like, those are thingsthat can stop you, especially if
you want to start a business,you want to start a podcast, you
want to do anything amazing in thisworld. You need to use the fear
to propel you and not stop.So I encourage everybody, when they feel
fearful, to step into the fear, acknowledge it, and then step into

(05:06):
it, and you're going to realizethat it's really not anything to be scared
of. And worry and fear areobviously kind of the same thing, and
the shit we worry about never happens. I love that because, yeah,
and that's the thing is and ifit does happen, we're creating it,
right, We're putting that in thepurse, and it's just better to navigate

(05:27):
to a more positive, you know, mindset. Yeah, it's almost like
we want to control. You know. I see my own personal life.
I can do so many amazing things, and I'm confident in so many ways,
and I can you know, thenthere's times where I feel like,
oh my god, I fear losingthis person. I fear losing this friendship.
I fear losing this you know gig. I fear that people are going
to think I'm funny enough, youknow, all this stuff, all this

(05:50):
noise, which I think especially duringa time like this where everyone's instilling fear
right into us with whatever is happeningin the world. Yeah, that What
would be your tip for people totry to get out of their own way
and not let the fear overcome them. Well, there's a lot of things
that you said that you would haveto really acknowledge. Like the first thing

(06:11):
you said is fearful of somebody leavingme. So you want to check in
with yourself and be like, Okay, obviously that it ties to some sort
of abandonment issue. Figure out wherethat could have started, acknowledge it,
accept it, and realize that that'snot the case today. The other thing,
too, is that we can't controlanyone but ourselves, and there's no
guarantees in life. So going intoa relationship or being in a relationship with

(06:38):
this underlying fear that they're going toleave you, it's just going to make
it happen sooner. So you mightas well just like live in the present
because we don't know what's going tohappen. But what if we just started
living and I have to work onthis daily myself, living with the expectation
that everything's going to work out,and it always does whether you see it

(07:00):
or not. Maybe you get Igot dumped like six years ago, okay,
and it was the worst heartbreak Iever felt in my life. I
never felt a pain like that before. I'm so sorry. It was Oh
yeah, it was awful, andI felt like what did I do?
I'm not good enough? And itlike sent me into the spiral and I
just couldn't get out of it.I got down to like ninety eight pounds.
I couldn't eat it. It washot, horrible. But I look

(07:24):
back now and I go, wow, that was God's protection. That was
the best thing that ever happened tome because it made me step in and
realize like, wow, like,you're always going to be fine, So
you don't need to be fearful becauseyou'll always be okay. And then sometimes
shitty things happen, but it's workingin your benefit and what you learn and

(07:45):
how you learn to conquer and stepinto the fear and be confident and just
expect shit to work. Oh thathelps so much with my anxiety right now
because when you have that release,you're right, you feel, oh my
god, it is going to beokay. I don't have to overcompensate,
overprove. I think that's what wefear. It's like, am I good
enough? You're you're saying, oh, you're hitting all the right relatable points,

(08:09):
you know, like you are youare good enough? I mean you're
you're a child of the universal,child of the Most High God. Like
that makes you matter and you'll alwaysmatter and everybody matters, and so you
just have to just realize, likeI I love to live life and be
like, oh, life happens tome or for me, not to me,

(08:31):
Because when you say life happens tome. So if something doesn't work
out, you get stuck in aline, somebody dumps you, somebody's mean
to you, you bomb on stageright, you become a victim and you
feel bad for yourself and you stayin the ship. But if you're like,
this happened for me, I'm gonnago work on these jokes to make
myself a better comic. I'm gonnanot date shitty people. And um,

(08:52):
maybe the delay at the Starbucks coffeeshop was because I didn't If I had
walked around that corner I've minutes earlier, I could have got mugged. Yeah.
So it's always that like positive thingwhere you're like, Wow, this
is happening for me, and thenyou think about that, and when somebody
like upsets you or doesn't call youback it's like you're dating. Then you're

(09:13):
going, wow, this is probablyGod's protection and this worked out in my
favor. Now I'm not much closerto the person I'm supposed to meet.
Wow. I love that. Thatreally helps. Yeah, it really helps
put things in perspective. I'm goingto be honest and I'm not perfect.
I still have, like you know, relationships is still an area I need
to work on myself and I stillstruggle. And you and I had a

(09:33):
conversation offline about somebody recently and theywere all about me, all about me,
all about me, And then youput the dick in the mouth,
and somehow something changes. You gottagive it there. You see, Ladies
and gentlemen, how funny is myfriend? How comics? Listen up?
You can take a tip or twobecause you're really the way you talk in
comedy. It's almost like every comicstream you're because you're you're talking about how

(09:56):
you're writing. You're a good writer, right, So yeah, you're witty,
you're quick, and it's true.It's like you can make the whole
point is taking the pain and makinga joke out of it. Yeah,
you know what I mean, Andthat's that's really true. It's not dwelling
on the pain, you know,well exactly and so obviously like it hurt,
it stung a little bit. Butthen I kind of stepped into that
pain and was like, wait asecond, like this is God's protection.

(10:18):
This person was not for me.You didn't really like him on the first
or second date. Anyways, youshould have cut bait at that moment.
But you're dummy. You didn't listenand you put a little dick in the
mouth. I didn't even bite it. Somehow the energy chefs, right,
Yeah, So it was kind oflike, I'm not giving that person my
power. It was my ego thatwas bruise. I didn't want him.
If he was all up my ass, I would have gotten rid of him

(10:39):
a week ago. Right, ButI think it was like do I like
this person? Do I not?But here's the thing I thought about.
I said, you know what,if they're going to step forward and they
want to pursue me, like Iwould be interested in pursuing them, then
we play ball. If not,I'm gonna pick up my toys and I'm
gonna go to my own sandbox.But that's a great that's those are great
tips mentality to have so that youcan go through life kind of with not

(11:03):
that much anxiety and trying to controlevery situation and then saying why what was
me? Right? Why did thishappen to me? Like ever since you
came into my life, I'm like, oh, things are lighter and lighting
the fuck up, right, Ifeel like you've told it. Chanel like
chill the fuck out. Sometimes notin a bad way, just like it's
okay to lose control. You know. I never even knew how controlling I
was until recently, until I realized, holy shit, like we all have

(11:26):
it in us and as artists,you know, I want to control my
narrative or my situation or everyone wantsto. So I think letting go is
really the best thing you can do, especially with men in general, like
how we had talked in general,like you're like, you know, if
a guy is not interested or showsme he's not interested, I'm onto the
next. Well, exactly. Iread a great thing. I was on
the train up here and I wasgoing through Instagram and there was some psychology

(11:48):
thing I follow and it was saying, like, believe people when they tell
you what they mean. If somebodysays to you, I just don't want
to hurt you, that's a warningsign for they're warning you to say,
hey, I'm going to hurt you. You just back away or I don't
I'm not ready for a relationship.No, they're just not ready for a
relationship with you. But as soonas you accept that and realize it,

(12:11):
you move on. And the thingis like for the girls that are dating,
Yeah, because I made this mistake. Sometimes we get very invested in
one person when they haven't shown usgiven us a reason to be fully invested
in them. You always got tohave your eggs in multiple baskets because it's
a numbers game and that way,if one dipshit drops off, you pick
up the next one like it's nobig deal. It's like a basketball team,

(12:35):
right, you just want you wantto fill the bench, and then
you want to pick the best players, and then you pick your MVP.
Well, you see, that isthe metaphor we need to live by,
which is why I have guests likeyou on to teach us because not all
women, as women in general,correct me if I'm wrong. We don't
do that all the time. Orladies are writing into the shows all the
time. Hey, because you knowI'm in a relationship, but women are

(12:58):
still asking me, well what doI do to keep him? What do
I do? And it's like thisadvice would help. If you don't have
all your eggs in one basket,maybe you won't be so hurt or so
invested. But you know, there'sthat dynamic, there's the dynamic of well,
then when do I know to invest? How do I know when to
invest? So I want to goback to that, the question of how
do I keep him? Yeah,okay, this is I ask three questions

(13:22):
in one sometimes this is all.This is a thought that goes through everybody's
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back to the podcast. How doI keep him? This is how you

(15:11):
keep him? You be your authenticself. You don't put on a show.
And if he doesn't stay, hewasn't for you. But don't be
somebody you're not. Don't be livingin anxiety and subconsciously pushing them away.
Be you. If they don't likeit, beat it nerd right done.
It has to be that strong mentalitywhere like you're confident and you know yeah,

(15:35):
and that's how you know you're andyou have to work on it all
the time too. You don't justlike wake up brilliantly like, oh I'm
confident, nobody's gonna mess with me. There's areas you're more confident in.
There's areas you're not as confident in. Find out what those are. Figure
out why you're not confident. Iwasn't as confident in relationships. Well,
that went back to being beat upby my brother all the time, and

(15:56):
so I became like taught really nicesiblings sibling you know, a normal sibling
way. But it toughened me up. But at the same time I was
like fuck man, like they're nevergonna fucking touch me, blah blah blah.
And it kind of shut shut thatoff a little bit. And then
the relationships I would, you know, go for people that because I was
noncommittal. I didn't realize it,so I was going for noncommittal people.

(16:19):
So you start realizing all of thisand you're like, Okay, this is
what I need to change, thisis what I need to work on,
and you start to identify those patterns. So all of a sudden, I'm
starting to feel like, oh God, like I like this person. They're
not giving me what I want.I don't know how to express my needs.
They like want something casual. Idon't. Before I'd be like,

(16:42):
okay, like let me be thecool girl and we'll go to dinner and
I'll win them over. It neverworked right, and I'll pretend like I
don't care, but I'm gonna stalkall your exes on Instagram. Yeah.
I was like cut bit and run. I had a message. I had
a message yesterday from somebody and theywere like, oh, I you know,

(17:02):
I felt like you were you weregoing too fast and it spooked me
and I wanted something more casual.And I'm thinking huh. I simply had
a conversation saying, this is whatI want if I'm going to commit to
a relationship, these are the thingsthat I'm looking for. Well, the
fucker personalized it and I said,yeah, I might want to have a
baby. I never sit with you. I just said in general, right,

(17:23):
these are my wants so exactly.So it was kind of like,
I think that people take that tootoo soon or whatever. So you know,
he's like, but if you're willingto do like, you know,
slow things down and be casual andnot have a baby, like I'm in
And I just rowed him back andI'm like, you know, hey,
I had a really good time withyou. I thought you were a great
person. But you know I'm notdon't this is not gonna be a physical

(17:47):
relationship. Like I'm willing to befriends because I genuinely did have fun with
this person, but there's no intimacy. I'm not gonna I'm not sleeping with
anyone that wants a casual relationship becausethat doesn't make me feel safe and it
doesn't make me feel valued. Soif you're open to getting to know me
as friends and we can decide ifwe're a fit and then either stay friends
or date. We can do that, but this is not. And I

(18:11):
put it out there. I setmy boundaries. I determined, and that
was it. And what was theresponse back, Let's grab dinner next week?
I was like, great, buddy, Right. So that's the thing
is like we get confused about thecasual and the where's the boundary of?
Like are we dating? Do yousuggest that you go for it? Like

(18:32):
what you're doing where it's like,let's see where this goes? And I
think you should just tell people whatyou want and then just let them know.
Somebody's like, what are you lookingfor? Oh, I'm looking for
my life partner. I'm looking forsomebody who is going to do life with
me that's gonna lift me up whenI'm down, cheer me on when i'm
up, like all these different things. Right, this is what I want,
This is what I'm looking for.If that person doesn't match those things,

(18:53):
well then you just got rid ofsomebody so much quicker. Isn't it
better to get rid of them nowthan like wasting three months and being heartbroken
down the line? Sure? AndI do think a lot of women who
write and also get confused because whichI've related in the past. This has
happened to me before, where aguy tells you they want something casual,
then they show you, they leadyou on in you know, in other
areas that it's not casual, andthen they want back to casual. That's

(19:15):
confused. I don't know. I'mstill learning those terminologies because I just have
a lot of friends that go throughthat, and it's like one minute they
think that's their boyfriend. The nextminute he's like, well, we you
know, we thought it was casual, and I'm talking to this other person.
And that's where men get getting shittymuddy waters and then they want to
blame every woman and Dick and Janefor their bullshit, and that's where I

(19:36):
started. So getting listed up,very careful all your listeners, as I'm
projecting, there is a very there'sa cure to this. Okay, there's
ready, absolute solution. We're ready. You're not gonna like it, but
it's the truth. And if youdon't think I'm right, just keep doing
what you're doing and tell me whenI'm right. Stop fucking them, oh,

(20:00):
stop fucking them until you have aserious, committed relationship and some guy
I tell you, oh, Iwant you to be my girlfriend, because
he's just trying to get his dickin as dick is trying to hit this
guy. Give it a couple ofdays to see how he acts as a
boyfriend. But as soon as yousleep with them, you give them power.

(20:22):
And us women are very emotional,and it releases some sort of hormone
that makes us somewhat addicted to them. And now we're in dangerous territory because
we don't know how they feel.We're confused about what we want, we
don't know how to think ourselves.We've just given the power away. The
power of the pussy is the mostimportant tool you have, and it's like

(20:44):
use it and you're like, well, I'm horny, I'm a woman,
I'm a feminist. I just wantto get off. Yeah, there's a
whole fucking section of toys to dothat, and they're much better. Trust
me, make out with them,trust me, get what you want out
of it. I always joked Isaid, if I suck another dick,
and of course I went back onmy word with this last one, I'm
getting a house because I'm doing becauseI'm like, you know what, enough

(21:07):
of this free dick sucking? First, of all, nobody really wants to
choke on a fucking unflavored banana.Come on, we're doing a lot of
free dick sucking. It is atransactional move right. If you want something
suck dick with purpose, you shoulddo everything with purpose, but especially that.
And I just say, like,hold out as long as you can,

(21:29):
because I mean, it's in theBible. It's a sin. Premarital
sex is a sin. And theysay, do you know that the statistic
because nobody waits anymore, the statisticif you wait till marriage to have sex
of divorce is five percent. Noway, the statistic now fifty if you
wait five percent, that should blowyour mind, which I agree. I

(21:52):
have a lot. We've talked aboutthis a lot of like religion and morals.
We've been raised similarly background where youknow, we're women of God and
my parents were religious, your parentswere religious. Even though it's different religions,
it's still the same, you know, oh exactly, still the same
God, the same God, sameBible of my mom and dad are always
like that, listen, Chanel.No matter how millennial millennial you think you

(22:15):
are, no matter how you knowprogressive you think you are, it's always
old school with men. You knowwhat I'm saying, Like what you're talking
about right now, it's like,you know, I don't kiss on the
first few dates when I was dating, you know what I'm saying, And
I did wait to sleep with myboyfriend. Now, you know, I
think it is important to do thatstuff to keep a man or have him
interested. I really agree with whatyou're saying. What we're all doing is,

(22:37):
yeah, we keep sleeping with him, saying we're feminists, okay,
whatever, we haven't had the title, but you know what, he is
seeing me every week. We're notgiving consequences. We're not setting boundaries,
which I feel this whole book isabout, is like, yes, lighten
up and have fun, but alsoset those boundaries to help you find your
worth. Yeah. Well it's true. And I remember I sat down with

(22:57):
some spiritual advisor and she's great.I don't go to them anymore because I
saw something online, specifically in theBible that said you're not to communicate with
people that tapp into the dad andI didn't realize that. When I saw
that, I stopped. This isvery harmless. But anyway, she had
told me women are not designed tosleep. It's multiple met because when they

(23:21):
put something in you there, ifit's unprotected, especially they're actually putting in
there a little bit of their DNAand like three hundred year years of family
drama and trauma. So all ofa sudden you may have done all this
healing work and then you're like,why am I falling apart? What's happening?
Well, you got all this shipbeing injected in you not realizing it
sounds like a joke, and Iput that in the book, and one

(23:45):
of the joke I had with it, I was like, you're trying to
tell me that every time I haveunprotected texts like the industrial Revolutions in my
pussy, because nobody feels like they'reworking that hard, you know what I
mean? But she said and thenI said, I I can't remember how
whimpt I said, but what aboutthe girls who just seemed to have the
power and they can like fuck anybody? And she goes, do you do

(24:07):
find them healthily normal? And Iwas like, no, I mean they
have issues. She goes, exactly, So you can never heal spiritually,
and here you heal yourself completely ifyou're constantly taking on that action. So
you need to be very careful.Men don't have this thing because there's nothing
going in there, you know,and a figure I don't think counts.
Oh, I don't think my trauma'sgoing to come through my finger like the

(24:30):
wizard. And I'm like, letme, let me prostratem. We just
get trauma. We just heard traumadoes. But that makes a lot of
sense that we don't think about thehistory of women in general and the the
the binding connection. Sometimes we're like, why the fuck am I obsessed with
this guy? It's like what youjust said exted to is dick and like
vitamine literally wording out like fucking Ishould just put it on my skin so

(24:55):
I can glow. What the hellis this shit? Imindeed, I know
you know what I'm saying, Likethat's the whole thing is, like you
need to educate yourself, Like you'reeducated, so you know how to speak
on facts, you know how tospeak on everything that makes sense instead of
being emotional about it. Yeah,oh my god, he's a jerk.

(25:15):
He's not calling me back. Maybeif you break it down, you'll be
more rational about it, be haveless expectations about it. Yeah. So
I met this woman last night ona podcast. She's She's like, I
met this one last night who wasreally more interesting than you. And I
think I'm gonna just cut this shitnow and go okay, no, no,
no, But I met this woman. I was fascinated by some from

(25:37):
a major porn star okay, okay, and she just had a great energy.
I really liked her, you know, even though I'm saying I'm like
a dirty Christian and she's like,you know, a porn star. But
we were talking and she's like,I fuck for for my work, but
I like, get what I wantout of a man before I fuck him.
And so I'm like, wow,this is fascinating. Like do you

(25:59):
kiss on the first She goes,I don't even kiss till a fourth date.
She goes, they don't get me, like until they're buying me shit,
doing this shit, blah blah blah. Like nope, I put them
right in their place. And I'mlike, can I hire you as a
coach like I need? So I'mlike, I think I need like a
man porn star coach, like shewill tell you. And I showed her
a message that I had received forsomebody. I'm like, is this normal?

(26:22):
And is this a normal response.She was like, yeah, that's
actually like very hard for somebody towrite. The fact that they did means
that they still care and your responseset all your boundaries. So that was
great. But it was just interestingto see, like somebody who fucks her
career will not fuck outside. SoI was gonna say that, like to
talk about porn star progressive and youwould think that's a person that would just
do anything, but they even havethose old school traditional boundaries that keeps a

(26:47):
guy wanting more. Well, Idon't know how. I don't even know
what the concept of it. Whatwould you say, this is about what
the chase? I don't know.I think the men like, no matter
how much we evolve, we're stillbuilt the same way as we were back
in the day, Like you wantwhat you can't have. So when that

(27:07):
guy that I wasn't that interested andall of a sudden backed away, I
was like my reaction was to stepup because I was like, wait a
second, like huh, this isn'tthis isn't work. But so we're just
kind of wired that way and thatway you know, like Okay, you
don't want to be too distant,but you want to give a little and
then back off, give a little, and then back off. I'm no
expert on this. Maybe I'll havea relationship book one day. But then

(27:30):
I have friends that are beautifully marriedand they were like, yeah, I
knew on the first date this wasmy husband and there was no confusion,
there was no drama, there wasno second guessing. It was amazing.
And until you feel that, andyou'll feel it on the first date,
maybe the second, do not.Don't, don't waste your time. And
I was like, you know,I think I think you're absolutely right,

(27:51):
absolutely right. So I'm obviously temporarilyin New York right now for the book,
and I was joking with my friendand I said, I have forty
days to find my mate or I'mgonna have to go back to Denver.
That's a great idea, isn't it. Yeah? And I was like,
I go, and he goes Jewishpeople. We're in the desert for that

(28:14):
long notice. Even better find aman, Okay, exactly. And that's
why I'm like, all right,Like challenge accepted, but it's all about
you're believing it. Um. IfI'm rambling on, just just stop me.
But isn't amazing? But I metthis guy this weekend at this conference
and it was amazing. He's aproducer for like success movies like Beyond the
Secret The Secret Thing can grow richlike success like that. Right, So

(28:37):
he's this world renowned like manifestation coach, law of attraction and beautiful man,
great energy. And we were talkingand he told me, and I'm gonna
share this with everybody because I thinkit's fabulous and I like to give back.
But he said, when you writeyour goals down in the present tense,
which means like, I am sohappy and grateful now that I have

(29:00):
whatever it is, that's the presenttense. Not only do you say it,
but you feel it. Here wasthe difference. Okay, so let's
say it's a soul mate, Iam so happy and grateful now that I've
met the love of my life.It's not just saying it, it's feeling
it. Right. If I toldyou, Chanelle, I got Super Bowl
tickets for you and I this year, are you going to doubt me?
No, You're gonna get excited,of course, right. But I haven't

(29:23):
shown you the tickets, but youbelieve it and you're excited. Yeah,
that's how you have to be withyour list, right, it's happening.
It's a going You haven't seen theproof, but I just invited you to
the super Bowl and told you andyou you were like, yeah, We're
going to the super Bowl, andyou get all excited. That's how you
have to think about it. Buthere was the catch. You have to

(29:45):
while you're awake, say them,do them every three hours, so you
have a timer and you're like everythree hours. Who are like, I'm
so happy, I'm so happy andgrateful now that I found the love of
my life. I'm so happy andgrateful now that I have financial freedom.
I'm so happy and rightful now thatI have my dream home. But you
have to feel it, you know. So that's a good example of like

(30:07):
we're going to the super Bowl.You have no proof I love, but
you felt it. But you haveto feel that feeling. And I feel
that also creates confidence. I knowthat there's a session in the book,
and you were just in Dallas,right, Yeah, in Dallas, Texas
at a big confidence talking about buildingconfidence and really believing it. Right,
Because there's one thing, like wehad talked about the soft line, where

(30:27):
I can come off as a veryconfident woman and very sure of myself,
but I also have a lot ofinsecurities, which I'm okay with. I
think it's okay to be vulnerable andtalk about it. Yeah, and you
had had helped me by saying youhave to really believe it. You have
to really believe these things about yourselfto create this confidence. Do you think
that as women dating and in relationshipsand just or the women being single in

(30:49):
the city, do you think firstthey have to really come to terms with
their self worth and confidence before yeah, they get into a healthy relationship.
Does everything have to do with it? What's your input on that? One
hundred percent? The reason that Iam today right now, sitting here single,
not in a healthy relationship is becauseI did not have that self worth

(31:11):
or that self awareness or know howto set boundaries and standards. Now I
do, but I'm not in arelationship because I haven't met anyone that's gonna
that meets my needs and I don'twant to just settle. I'm not looking
her boyfriend. I'm looking for herhusband. Right. You're confident about yeah,
But the thing is with confidence,I think there's so many different tools

(31:32):
to do to build confidence. Right, So the standard thing you hear is
like, Okay, you want toput on a good outfit, you want
to do your makeup, do yourfit. It'll give you more confidence throughout
the day. That's great. Youcan say affirmations in the mirror. That's
great too, Right, you cando whatever you want. But I think
what really builds confidence is like awhole circle of like building your character too.

(31:52):
What builds confidence is doing something tomake somebody else's day brighter. You're
not only healthy them, but thatfeeling of making somebody's day is going to
build your confidence and make you realizehow powerful you actually are. So holding
the door open for somebody, tellingthem they have a nice smile, complimenting
them on their outfit, buying somebodya coffee, giving a homeless person a

(32:16):
dollar, whatever you can do toimprove somebody's life, that is actually internally
you're benefiting more from that, soyou're helping. So that's how you build
confidence because when you're like, wow, I'm changing people's lives, I'm making
people's days brighter, You're going tobe more confident. So it's not just

(32:37):
about you being like oh great,Like I got my botox and I got
facial and now I feel confident becausemy skin's glowing and it doesn't move.
That's great, But what happens whenthat glow and that botox wears off?
Where's the confidence there? So ithas to be the internal confidence. And
how you get that is realizing thatyour interior is much brighter than your exterior.

(33:00):
I love that. That's that's important. We need to start building more
confidence as women as people to getinto healthier relationships or just in general healthier
things with our within ourselves. Yeah, just know your value, Like,
you're not going to put up ahigh value woman. And and I'm not
sitting here saying because I wrote asoft help book that I'm fucking perfect by.

(33:21):
There's so much stuff I still haveto work on daily, right,
But once you your high value andyou're like, I'm not going to tolerate
that because you know and respect yourboundaries and your standards, You're going to
start attracting better people into your life. Totally. I love that. That's
what we need to start doing.Yeah. Yeah, so forty days to
find my soul mast forty days,that's going to be amazing. Also,

(33:44):
by the way, you guys,you can check out Madison. Just want
to put in this plug, youcould check out Madison Alloy on my show,
The All Star Comedy Show, productedby Shanell In the City podcast.
We're giving proceeds back to City Harvestand Hunger in New York City. It's
November sixteenth. Get your tickets nowchannel in the City promo code for ten
dollars off. Because this is goingto be a hot show. That's going
to be a sold out show,and a lot of people are gonna come

(34:05):
see Madison for her book and meetand greets, So we're gonna have like
a really good time. And thecool thing about it is you get to
hear Madison tell a lot of herjokes. Yeah, if you marry a
lot of the jokes with the book, which I talked to us a little
bit about. So when you werewriting the book, tell me the process
of the inspiration behind it for yourself. So I always felt like I always
had inappropriate, funny things to say, So I'm like, I want to

(34:28):
stay on that tone. So ifyou, like you started reading some of
the book, it kind of soundslike I speak a little bit yep.
And so I was able to accomplishthat by doing a lot of voice recording
and transcribing because I figure, I'mlike, I can't really type exactly how
I sound. I want this specificpoint to be authentic. So I would
voice record it and then I wouldplug it into zooms got a great transcribe

(34:52):
feature and it would print out,it would spit out this document, and
then I'd go and clean it up. So that was a very authentic and
easier way to write, and tojust pour your thoughts out and not miss
anything, because the problem is whenyou start writing that dada, you're like,
oh I missed a common you goback and you lose that like organic
thought. Also, I wanted tobegin a public speaking career because I loved

(35:15):
being on stage and I loved makingpeople laugh. But the comedy lifestyle wasn't
matching up with making me purely happythe late nights, things like that.
So I figured, I'm like,well, if I get booked as a
motivational speaker off the back of abook and I am myself, I might
not be welcome back. So Ineed to make sure the book is authentically

(35:36):
me and has these dirty jokes,because if somebody books me after they read
my book, they know what they'regetting. So I don't have to like
hold back, and I wanted toput the humor in there because I feel
that, first of all, humorhelps you feel better and just I literally
think it's like a medicine, LikeGod's medicine. Right, I'm laughing is
as I read the book, Ismile and I think, okay, But

(36:00):
when you have like a crude reference, I feel like you're gonna remember it
more like it's gonna stick because you'relike, if you're thinking to yourself,
well, I want that person callme back, like am I getting fat?
Or do I look old? Orwhatever bullshit you're putting in your way
that day. If you're like,wow, I'm just complicated, over complicating

(36:22):
everything, Like I should just gowith the flow. I don't look fat.
I look exactly the same. Youcan't gain that much weight in a
day. You just can't. Umyou're both like you're fine, right,
then you can be like, oh, you're right. It's like shaving my
asshole, like you'll remember it.Yeah, Like if I'm gonna cause damage
if I overthink this, this isstupid. So I wanted to use like

(36:44):
those in the book to make sureit like hit on the head. So
which is good and my favorite.You probably haven't gotten to chapter eight yet.
Time to stop being offended. Ohyeah, not yet. There's a
great fucking story that opened my eyes. Well, I got trapped at a
nudest swinger's resort for a week.What when I was twenty years old?

(37:06):
What I saw a thousand limbs?All right, you're like, what was
that Lolita Express? Yeah, Itook the Lolita. No, I took
Jet Blue. Um, but yeah, I got trapped there. I saw
a thousand limptics in a week.It was the most eye opening experience.

(37:27):
But it made me realize that,like, not my lifestyle, but who
the fuck am I to judge?Right? Right? Just because I don't
want to do it doesn't mean youshouldn't do it right. Like, these
people were so nice, We're sorespectful. We had so much fun.
I still talk about it to thisday. I have seen every size dick.

(37:52):
You can't imagine. That's amazing.Like I'm telling you, a guy
pulls down his pants. And nowthat I'm dating and I've seen it,
you know what, I I wonderyou haven't tittled down. You got too
many pigs, I know, butI learned so much and just like,
hey, like, it's okay ifthey don't think like you, if they
don't act like you, if theydon't do things the way you do,

(38:16):
that's fine. You do you,But you don't have a right to tell
somebody how to think or how toact. Sure, as long as they're
not hurting anybody, right, killing, stealing, right, you know,
like you just need to accept it. It's not your lifestyle, but like,
who gives a shit, right,So it's like you don't need to
be offended because somebody thinks differently,differently than you. And I'm a person

(38:37):
of like the church, Like maybeI'm a cool, cool Christian who knows,
but like I'm very open. Ifeel like we made God judgmental.
He's not judgmental. Maybe that's notthe type of behavior that he necessarily would
approve of, but who knows.God is forgiving and he's loving, and
like, who are you to judgeto say what that person should do?

(39:01):
Totally, And it's hilarious because I'veactually been to I've been there's a swingers
club that opened up in Colorado.After this, I'm gonna build her brand,
Like Bethany Frankeld, it's time tolie in the fuck up swingers resort
opened up by Madison The Long Exactfeaturing Shanella Mary. Don't worry, I
can exactly. But here's the thing. I go to this place. You

(39:22):
can actually go to members only club, but like, I'm not I'm not
sleeping with somebody elseide. But bythe way, this has become like a
trend, even for people who aren'tswingers to go to these parties. Supposedly.
I've been just hearing about this dreyCovid and on these like exclusive So
I didn't go. I didn't goto the wing party. But what I
did is it's pretty funny. It'scalled the Scarlet Ranch and Highlands Ranchers is
kind of a swinger suck community.You can go to the fucking bar and

(39:46):
instead of like the TVs with likeon Sunday with the NFL games, you're
just rooms and you can just watchpeople bang. And those people go into
those rooms knowing that people are sittingat the bar. And so I'm like,
somebody said, oh, you wantto go check out and have a
drink at the bar you can likewatch people, and I'm like, that's
weird. But we also always goto the titty bar, so let's spice

(40:07):
it up a little bit. That'sso that's a fin way on that note,
start interrupt. That's a fun likeactivity for couples to just go if
you want something fun to do.I was, I'm just thinking, like,
you don't have to really participate.As my point, you could literally
go, like you said, goto the bars, see it. That's
fun. Well exactly except for thefact it's a little too close to home.
So I'm like, ah, Ithink that girl's daughter plays on my

(40:28):
niece's soccer team. This is weird. This is very strange. So it's
like it's a little too close tohome. I was never I'm trying to
not watch porn like at all anywhere. I don't think it's healthy and it
creates boundaries that just are irrelevant orI don't just not normal, right,
So I'm trying to stay away fromthat. And like there's a lot of

(40:49):
big push on staying away from porn. But I've watched a lot of porn
in my life, right, right, And the difference between live sex and
porn sucks on the computer. Thisis a fact. It's very different.
When the people can make direct eyecontact with you, that raises the game
in a super fucked up way.So I'm like, I don't want to

(41:10):
be in that temptation, right becauseit could be like a temptation thing.
Yeah, but I think this ishow I live my life, and everybody
needs to do what's right for them, like don't judge others, and then
you won't be judged yourself just becauseit makes you uncomfortable. Like if it
makes you uncomfortable and you haven't doneit, I encourage you to do it.
Like EDM is not my thing.EDM and like doing a bunch of

(41:32):
fucking psychedelics and listening to music thatlike hasn't words. It's not my thing.
But my friends called me and theysaid, hey, we got tickets
to this outdoor festival. It's andum concert. And I said, you
know, I've never been to one. It's not my thing. Don't want
to do it. Not interested,but that was my thought. But I
thought, shouldn't you experience everything once? Wasn't going to judge who was at

(41:54):
that concert, how that experience hadbeen a win. Now I don't want
to go again. But I hada good time, but it was weird
because everybody was so high, includingmyself. I did take some mushrooms and
weird. But I was like,this really isn't my jam, but I
could appreciate why people loved it somuch, and that was special and I'm

(42:19):
glad I went. I have noregrets. I'm not going to write not
being offended like about everything that otherpeople feel is cool or good just because
you might not like it or havea good you know, or you might
not align with your lifestyle, andthat's okay, well, and it's gonna
help you, like seriously, lightenthe fuck up because you're not going to
be worried about what everybody else isdoing. You're going to be focused on
what you're doing. You're like,Okay, that person is doing what it's

(42:44):
not your problem. Lighting the fuckup? Well, speaking of that um
in terms of like lighting the fuckup with comedy, especially during this time,
a lot of comedians are getting heat, you know, of like people
being offended at everything. What wouldyour suggestion be and how do you cope
with it mentally mental health wise?How do you cope with it on stage?
You know, being offended or notbeing offended with or people being offended

(43:07):
by anything you have to say orany of us have to say as comics
like, what would you be?What would your two cents be on that?
How do we first of a greatthought on this? And do we
write our jokes based on what wethink, which once upon a time comedians
were allowed to do without everybody beingoffended? Or do you know, like
what do we do? Really?I'm asking as I don't know what I'm
saying. What I want to say, first of all is light. Yeah,

(43:30):
if you're easily offended, don't goto a comedy club. Just don't
like that's just stupid, Like I, um don't like shell fish. I'm
not going to go to Joe's crabshackjust like I'm not like, figure out
what's for you? Don't first ofall, don't show up. Second of
all, what people don't realize isthat if you're offended by what a comics
says on stage, you're a fuckingnarcissist. You don't know why because you

(43:54):
just personalize that joke and made itall about you. And I got news
for you. That joke that youheard that you were fucking offended by was
probably done fifty times on different stages, because I got news for you.
This shit is pre written and ispre planned. It's not like winging in
the moment. So the fact thatyou even want to personalize, like I'm

(44:16):
offended by that joke, Like you're, fuck you narcissist. Yeah, that's
so you don't think of it likethat, right, that joke isn't even
about you. And the fact thatyou had to personalize it. I just
got really heated there and the wivesfrom Good Fellas. I was like,
and you want to personal jokes,I'll fucking killing you kidding, I'll fucking
thick it in the court, y'allall of a sudden, me Madison exactly.

(44:40):
But no. And the other thingtoo, is like when you're you're
offended, like you chose to dothat, Like, think about what happens
to your body. You're in thisfight or flight mode, you're all pissed
off, your heart's racing, yougot your stress will kill you and will
aid you. So the quicker youcan just be like, hey, that's
not about me. Stop personalizing shit, Stop being offended. You choose what
makes you offended. If if somebodyoffended you in your whole day's room,

(45:04):
that's on you, that's on you, and what would you just gotta stop
and like stop and because how manytimes have you like purposely offended somebody.
Probably not a lot. No,I wouldn't know, mean too. I
never want to, That's what I'msaying. And somebody, it's never my
intention. When somebody offend you,usually nine at the time, it's not
about you, not about you atall. In fact, it's just you
just happened to be in the way. Like I had a woman, Oh

(45:25):
my gosh, I can't she wasat a line or we were in a
Starbucks line or something. I don'tknow where I was, but like she
was just No, I was atthe gym. She's an old lady.
She need to light the funk up, she I asked her. I was
like, oh, do you doYou can I use those when you're done,
take your time. She was like, I'll just I'll finish when I
finished. And I'm like, thatwasn't my point. But I was like,

(45:50):
okay, I'm not going to beoffended. Like this woman's very angry
in her own shit, like it'sgood, but I chose not to take
that energy on. I was like, all right, well she's fucking week,
so I'm gonna pick up a heavierweights anyways. But like I could
have personalized that and let it ruinmy day, but I didn't. I
was like, this is her problem, not mine. Yeah. Also a
tip is like, I feel likethe other day, I'm taking your advice

(46:14):
about like not personalizing things. Somebodywas like, I don't know, kind
of taking out things on me,projecting whatever. And then I said to
myself, I actually said to thatperson, you know, I think it's
time to flying the fuck up andmade a joke. But the joke helped
and your book helped me kind ofmissed, I mean, direct the conversation
in a different way, more positiveway, and then we had to laugh
about it. Yeah, and I'mlike, oh shit, my day's better.

(46:34):
I'm not because usually I'm a sensitiveperson. I'll dwell if someone's mad
at me or I upset someone,because again, I'm a good person.
I don't want to hurt anyone.I'm a cheerleader. I want everyone to
win. Yeah, Honestly, ifthis world wasn't surrounded about money and all
that bullshit, that's that's what Istrive to do. Like you, try
to make the world a better pace, one step at a time. So
yeah, that's you know, mytrain of thought. I'm getting Alzheimer's.

(46:58):
I'm just getting what I said tothem. We all have. What I
said to them was like, wow, I just I just changed the conversation.
I literally just changed it to benefitmyself and make it less personal and
not be offended. And they hada laugh. And you learned that from
time to lighten the fuck up fromthis amazing Yes, yes, I have
changed in the world, one pageat a time. Did you always know

(47:20):
you wanted to be a stand upcomedian or just a public speaker in general,
like a personality. Did you alwayshave this big personality? Yes,
but I always Here's a thing I'veworked on my started. My dream was
to be on Wall Street. Notbecause I loved Wall Street and liked the
markets. I just wanted to befucking rich and that just seemed like an
easier way to get it. SoI'm like, Okay, I'm going to
Wall Street. And then I gotthere and mind, all this sucks.

(47:42):
But luckily I was in mortgage backedsecurity, so that I was, you
know, gently shoved out the dooralong with everybody else in the market collapsed
and oh wait, but what Ireally realized why I wasn't happy, is
that I couldn't authentically be myself.So people used to like not include me
in things or not talk around mebecause I looked like such a goody two
shoe and they didn't want to offendme or have me run to HR.

(48:07):
And I knew this, and I'mlike, oh, I'm trapped down this
face like they have no idea.Somebody bends over their desk. I'm like,
I wonder if he's thinking about suckingher, like that was really what
was happening. So they didn't knowme. And then they finally were like,
oh, you can tell jokes.And finally I was just like,
you know, I need like Ineed a safe space to talk about my
vagina. So I was like,it's got to be comedy. There's no

(48:30):
HR department Owu'd I go like,I just couldn't, you know. So
that's when and I felt like Iwouldn't be as abnormal if I was a
comedian because people like, oh,that's funny, because if you're not a
comedian some of the ship that Isay, they'd be like, wow,
she's kind of fucked up. Umyeah, But now that I have,
but being a comedian, they're like, oh, that's really funny because I

(48:51):
just like say this filthy stuff,like I can't even help it. I'm
not even trying. It just comesout right where I'm like, yeah,
it suck dick with purpose. Andthey're like, well, okay, that
was aggressive. All right? DidI tell you I had um a priest
of mine. He's a dear friend. I'm not even Catholic, but a
dear friend who's a retired priest.He's the greatest guy. And I sent
him my book cover and he waslike, Oh, that's wonderful. I'm

(49:12):
so proud of you. And thenI told him to buy the book.
I said, I'm gonna give youa free copy, but I want you
to buy the e book to helpmy numbers on the day. So he
buys the e book and he startsreading it and he goes, oh,
yep, it's very edgy, whichis what I expected from the title.
And he was like, but Ihope you're not sucking deck outside of marriage
because the second page it compares likesecond dickon front Party. And I just
wrote back, how do you thinkI have a Gucci bag? Amen?

(49:37):
What? Amen? You know whatI love about you? Two? You'll
play to the stigma that we womenget accused up on a fucking daily basis.
Yeah, I know that's not howI got a Gucci bag, but
that's how I'm gonna get my nextone. But it's play into it where
it's like you men jokes not onme, bitch, that jokes on you
boot. You know what I mean. It's that's how you have to play

(49:57):
it. Yeah, instead of sittinginto this shame and dwelling and being like,
oh my god, this person thinksthat I got my book sold because
I sucked the dick, or Igot on stage because I sucked it.
It's like, if I hear onemore time that I get all the accolades
by sucking a dick. I mean, I know I might as well.
Do people actually still think not thatabout you? But there does that still
happen in the business. Oh yeah, it's been a thing with me too.

(50:20):
It kind of went away, Butno, I would luckily be my
publisher as a former pastor, sowell, I would love to know about
your thoughts on that. And yeah, there's a there's a big stigma in
general with women, female comics specificallytrying to earn their spots right on stage
by just being funny. But theminute you date a guy, or the
minute you're even just casually seeing aguy or just fucking once, and people

(50:42):
find that out and then you're gettingstage time, which really one plant doesn't
have to do it the other becauseyou know, even if you do get
the help, My whole thing iswho cares? I mean, if that
is the truth, Like if youplay into what you're playing into the funny
of so what if I sucked thedick and I got on stage, what
is it to you? Well,that's true, Like I've never done that,
but here, I've never done that. I just want to speak to
all the women that are sucking dickfor stage time. Okay, can you

(51:06):
raise your standards because like literally,there's so much more you could get that's
so much more valuable, Like God'ssucking dick on a daily basis, I'm
getting any stage time and not justexactly like I'm my boyfriend, Like you
know what I'm saying, Like,right, the person could either be in
the industry. You're not in theindustry. You have to still work to
be funny like you. I mean, I just feel like there's such a
stigma though to it. There is, But if I'm gonna suck anyone's dick.

(51:27):
It's gonna be for free legal advicebecause I feel like that's very overpriced.
Oh my god, that's amazing.And you know what, No,
I'm gonna date a lawyer. Butum, what is your type? Actually?
You know on that picture the moneybank account of Elon Musk with the
face of Tucker Carlson. Who girl, I'm coming here your wedding. We

(51:49):
are going to sell a break dothe horror? Not really not really the
bank account of elt I think thatwould be very, very intimidating. I
just want a nice guy, butI tend to like very prep men.
Yes, I just do. LikeI think like that quaff nice quaf,
penny loafs. I totally see youknow what I mean. The blazer,
Oh yeah, like the guy likeGreenwich, Connecticut is like right in mind.

(52:10):
Like I'm like, if you havea few to sell you up with
youm and like I know those typesright, Like as I said to you
when we were when we were togethera couple of weeks ago, I was
like, I want a guy wholooks like I could the trust found out
of him. That's the type ofman that is. That is an amazing
amazing joke. By the way,I love that. We gotta get you
that in forty days, Yes,in forty days. Forty days, we'll

(52:31):
go through the desert and we'll getMadison a man. Yes. Just circling
quickly back to women having that stigma, whether it's fucking for stage time or
just getting in any industry, gettingahead, if they're dating with a dating
a man, or flirting with aman. What do we have to do
as women to break that cycle?For men, for people in general,
how do we get people to understand, No, I'm in my power,

(52:53):
and I worked for this, andthis is me and this is who I
am, and I don't want tofeel guilty or shame about anything. So
the first thing I would say is, by your book. Yeah, are
we still going? Yeah? Fiveminutes? Okay, So by you?
Okay, so one two, bythe book obviously. But here's the thing.

(53:14):
If there's somebody at your office thatis sucking somebody's dick to get ahead,
first of all, it's not yourproblem and you being upset over it,
it's just going to ruin your day, not ruin theirs. So just
grab your your big girl panties oryour big boy panties and have just be
like, well, I'm glad Idon't have to resort to that and be

(53:34):
okay with it. But if youfeel that you are that person that you're
like, wow, I have tosuck somebody's a dick to get ahead,
well, then you probably need toreevaluate what you should be doing. I
don't know the answer to that.I understand why women are pissed at other
women who do it, and thenI under I can't understand why women think
they can do it, but theyare using their sexuality as a power,

(53:55):
which it is a power. Idon't know how to use mine, but
they do. But I just trynot to make it. Has this happened
on all straight too? Like Ijust try to not make it my problem
because it would upset me. AndI'm like, why am I upset over
this? There's nothing I can do. You could do the same thing,
but wait, your morals are intact, Like who cares? Yeah, who
cares? What people play into forwhat reasons? Right, there's people that

(54:16):
have fucked their secretaries, like menI know literally fucked their secretaries and like
they're married to them and they're thehappiest people in the world. So it's
like, who am I to judgeor say, like, as long as
it's not my boyfriend cheating on me, or my husband cheating on me,
or like my like And I understand, like you want to create a fair,
open playing field at work because it'snot fair that somebody gets promoted over

(54:37):
somebody else. But you also havethe power within you to leave right.
You're not stuck there. And ifyou don't like the way that that's happening,
and you don't like the way thatmakes you feel fucking leave right.
And there's two ways also to gobad that I think women don't realize.
It's like if a guy in generalis making you feel that way, correct
me if I'm wrong of trying touse your sexuality to get the job or

(55:00):
whatnot. Because a lot of menplay into that, it's up to you
to also say no, I wantto just be professional. And if they
say no to that, then youmove on or you know what I mean,
It's okay to ask for your worthand your boundaries. I think a
lot of women sometimes are scared andthey let things happen. Then becomes messy.
And I also think guys get awaywith boundaries, yes and and and
here's the thing for me, Ifeel like sometimes guys have ulterior motives.

(55:21):
Not all guys, but there area lot of sleeves balls. So for
me, just to make sure Itry and not hire um, I try.
If I can hire a woman,I hire a woman over a man.
And that's I don't run a corporation, so it don't come at me
for fucking laboration. It's happening.I'm just saying, like I would prefer
to work with a woman on certainthings because I know that there's no ulterior

(55:45):
agenda and that it's just like workand like what it is. There's no
like, oh maybe if I getyou know, for you, like,
oh I get Madison's magazine article,she's gonna munch my box. Like unless
I was lesbian, maybe there'll besubultarium motives. Imagine you didn't know.
It's like I'm secretly lesbian. I'mfucking Madison tonight, like you no longer

(56:08):
have a shelfish allergy. But Iget what you're saying. It's I totally
understand and I respect that. Andsometimes it's again it's knowing who you are,
knowing your boundaries, knowing what youcan and cannot do. That's building
the self work. I'm telling youthis book, you guys got to buy
it. Time to light in theright for them? Where can they buy
it? I want to go toAmazon dot com. Um, you can
type in my name, Madison Melore. You can type in time to lighten

(56:30):
the fuck up. But do theasterisk not to you and Barnes and Noble
and you'll see it. There shouldbe a hard back out soon. Um.
Hopefully by the time you guys seethis, it'll be read, by
the way, very read. Andyou know what, I'm so specific.
I've got not only chapter titles,but I've got sub chapter titles, so
you can almost like read it.But then you can leave it on your

(56:51):
nightstand and then you can quickly referback to it. Oh fuck, I
felt defended today book chapter eight pagehighlight that right, this is like homework
that really gets you through. Andnow they can go to Amazon dot com
purchase. How can we get yourratings up? Any if they could leave
any review? So they have tobuy the book and then Amazon will make
them let them be eligible for areview. So if you guys get the

(57:13):
book, UM, please leave areview. Obviously that helps the reviews are
starting to come in for me,it's been great. Um, but yes,
and if you don't like it,please don't labor a review. But
I think I think you will likeit. You're gonna I know you're gonna
love it. I don't read books. Do you know I don't read books.
Oh well, I'm glad this book. If I'm not only gonna read
it once I'm almost done with it, I'm gonna read it twice because it
is something. So are you honestlyloving it? Your chapter? Help me

(57:37):
write an email that I was fuckingin my drafts for four months and I'm
like, why didn't I just sendit the minute I write your chapter?
On fear? Swear to god.That email went out this morning, Oh
my god, out of fear.And guess what, I got a great
response. It wasn't the response Iwanted. It wasn't a yes now,
but it was a yes later.That's amazing, right, And that's what

(57:58):
we fear too. I feel thereject action letter or the yes, we
will take you, but not untilsix months from now. That's okay,
sometime let me. I saw somebodydo this. I don't have to wrap
up, but I've got to dropthis one thing because it's going to help.
I saw this, Okay, Ican't take credit for this, but
it was amazing. So imagine thisscenario changed my life. You come to

(58:20):
this earth, and you know theday you arrive that before you get everything
you want on this planet that yourheart desires, you have to go through
sixty closed doors. Sixty one isthe door where everything everything you have ever
wanted is there, but you gotto get sixty doors to close in your
face. Okay, how different wouldyou operate your life? You would be

(58:44):
trying to bang through those doors asfast as you fucking could. You wouldn't
be afraid to send the email.You wouldn't be afraid to start the business.
You wouldn't be afraid to go askthe cute guy at the at the
bar to go out with you.You wouldn't be afraid to apply for the
job. You wouldn't be afraid toget on stage. Wouldn't be afraid to
do anything because you're like shit,if it doesn't work out, well,
one more door off the list.I'm almost a door sixty one. So

(59:07):
but you could think about that withdeath too. It's like, fuck,
I don't know when I'm gonna dielike I don't want to live a life
of regret on my deathbed, like, oh I wish I wasn't such a
like chicken shit. You just gottado it. You just gotta remember that,
dude, like, oh I gotsixty sixty doors or seventy doors before,
because at the seventieth door, everythingI want is behind that door.
I love that. That's the waywe're gonna think. And I'm telling you

(59:30):
got to buy this book. Thishas helped changed my life. It's helped
change a lot of people I knowslives. This is only going to be
continuing number one. Okay, Iwould love you. We're congratulations. You're
an amazing person and a lot ofyou can learn from Madison molloy. If
you guys have any fears, anyquestions, DM, or where can everybody
follow you? So you can followme on Instagram at Real Madison Moloy and
then Twitter is just Madison Moloy.I do have a very small TikTok channel.

(59:53):
Maybe you can help me change that. That's at Real Madison Moloy and
then UM. I have a weeklybusiness sell help podcast called Next to Madison.
I'm very different on that podcast thanI was on this podcast. It's
more kind of business ee, soyou'll be like, wow, she's kind
of boring. But it's educational,amazing, definitely an education. I used

(01:00:14):
to be in the comedy category andI'm like, what am I doing?
This is not a funny. I'mbringing Wall Street back, education in Wall
Street and some humor. Exactly.One more thing before we wrap up.
We always ask our guests chanel inthe city, where besides the Swingers Ranch
that we should check out? Likethat, where would you suggest for us

(01:00:37):
in New York City to check out? And in Denver? If we go
to Denver, because you know,we're all about like the hotspots and or
where do you go to get inspirationget your mind off shit? You know
what I mean? So, um, I haven't been there for New York
City. I want to go there. So if anyone's listening and has access,
I'd like to go. But Ithink everyone should try to check out
Zero Bond because it's apparently a privateclub and very to get into it.
I want to go, So ZeroBond would be New York City, okay?

(01:01:00):
And then Denver it uh definitely likeRed Rocks is really pretty um and
then if you veil in the summer. I'm saying you can go in the
winter, but people don't think togo in the summer. Beautiful wildflowers.
You can go up to the topof the mountain, you walk through the
village and then in like Denver,Denver, I don't know, there's a

(01:01:21):
lot of beautiful. Yeah, Ilove yeah. Yeah. So it's all
like everything's just it's um yeah.That's where I say. In the city,
in the city, I love it. Guys, Thank you so much.
Madison Malloy, my dear friend.Congratulations on time to lighten the fuck
up everybody, shan on the city. It's time to lighten the fuck up
in your dating life, in yourfinancial life, in your work life,

(01:01:42):
in your swinger life, whatever whatever. In comedy, yes, I had
an amazing set. By the way, we're gonna do a part too,
Madison's gonna come back on the podcast. Yes, maybe we'll also have your
co host because you're a great speaker, You're a great host. I would
love that. I had a greatset last night at the Comic Strip because
of your book did It's been helpingme release a lot of sh It's been
helping me release a lot of stuff. And it's only going to be a
proof of concept because it helps me. You know, I'm a driven person,

(01:02:05):
but a lot of this ship hasbeen in my way and now it's
helping me. Oh I'm that soI hope you all learn a lesson.
Madison Meloy, I love you,Thank you, love you two. You're
amazing. Thank you so much.I love you. Hey, it's Madison
Molloy and I'm the author of Timeto Lighten the fuck Up. Thank you
for listening to me on Chanelle inthe City with your girl Chanello. Marie

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode # 100: Madison Malloy chats her new book: It's Time To Lighten The F'ck Up! Dating investments & Finances!

Episode Transcript

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Episode # 100: Madison Malloy chats her new book: It's Time To Lighten The F'ck Up! Dating investments & Finances!

Stuff You Should Know