Episode # 102: Bali Chainani chats Co -Parenting, Family Karma Season Finale, Reality TV & Relationship Boundries!

The star of Family Karma, Bali Chainani stops by Chanel in the City to chat about her experience on Family Karma this season on Bravo TV, how it differes from Season 1 and more. Bali opens up to us about her co-parenting skills and how she copes with her ex and her new partner and being a good mom all at the same time. Bali chats about setting boundries in relationships and friendships.

Bali says how finding love again has opened her up to new possibilities and opportunities in life.

Make sure to follow Bali @balibbali on all social media platforms for more updates and visit www.bravotv.com for more information on Family Karma and next season!

Episode Transcript

(00:05):
Hey, everyone, Welcome back toanother episode of Chanel in the City on
iHeartRadio. I am your host,Chanel O Mari and I have an amazing,
beautiful kind the star of Family Karma, one of our favorite shows on
Bravo TV. And she's an entrepreneur. She's an independent woman and she manages
a relationship. We're gonna get allinto it. Please help me welcome my

(00:27):
girl, Bally. Can you sayit again? Okay, I said it.
Please help me. Welcome Bali Chinani. How are you good? How
are you? By the way,I love the name Chanelle. Hello,
thank you. I love it.I love how like are you so you're
an Indian? Right? Yes?So I'm Middle Eastern, but I look
white. Everyone thinks so I knoweveryone thinks I'm white. So it's it's

(00:50):
just funny. I have a jokewith my friends like white people don't appreciate
the name Chanelle. You know.It's always like my brown friends and my
Middle Eastern friend, you know whatI mean. So I think you like,
we connect, connect get it,we get it. Um. So
speaking about Indians, it talked tous a little bit about Family karmas season
three year on it, which ishuge for Bravo, everyone's loving it.

(01:12):
Ye tell me a little bit aboutyou know, just being from India and
you know, being in America.Like how different are the traditions, you
would say, Um, I meanas far as like how different America is
from India. Very different, youknow, obviously, Um. But it's

(01:33):
funny because the ten years I wasmarried to Anishka's dad, I lived in
India. And I find that wein America are far more Indian and far
more traditional than the Indians in Indiabecause I think our parents just try to
keep the culture on the sense ofcommunity so closely bound because they're so petrified

(01:56):
that we're going to lose it,you know, and rightfully so that I
just fine, Like the Indians andIndia are trying to be all western and
modern and we are far more traditional. Right, why don't you talk to
us a little bit about the traditionswe see this season and family karma that
are important to you, I know, also with your boyfriend O'Malley, which
you guys are amazing. We're gonnaget into that. But yeah, I

(02:17):
talk to us a little bit ofsome of the traditions. I mean,
we'll obviously, we start off witha beautiful, big wedding, you know,
so that you see all the traditionsfrom two different like sects of India.
You know what you know, Vishalisindhi, Richa is Punjabi, and those
are two different kinds of Indians perse, So you see the beautiful different

(02:38):
traditional functions and you know, justeven like the prayer, ceremonies, different
foods and stuff, and like,just being Indian is extremely important to me.
I love, love, love beingIndian, Like I absolutely adore that
I'm Indians. So anything that hasto do with our culture, whether it's

(03:00):
the music, whether it's our clothes, whether it's food, I just kind
of soak it in. And Ilove being able to share moments like that
with my daughter Anishka, who doesn'tget to experience a lot of it in
here, you know, being raisedhere and stuff. But she loves being
Indian and I just kind of lovewatching her enjoy all of it because growing

(03:23):
up her age in America, itwasn't it was almost embarrassing to be Well,
that's what I was gonna say,Like, it's so admirable that you're
so proud of being Indian first andforemost, and you should be because growing
up I growing up because I waspredominantly raised with white Jewish kids because I'm

(03:46):
an Israeli Colombian Arab Jew, soI have a lot of Wow. I
know, it's like the whole thing. But I never was proud of that
when I was younger because like hensaying that would be like what are you?
You know what I mean? Soyeah, yeah, I think when
you have whether it's so Middle Easternis really what I typecast myself. But
I'm my thing is like a lotof people get embarrassed or they feel out

(04:08):
of place, or they feel youknow, that they feel a diversity.
Are the things that you coped withor that you teach your daughter Anushka like
to kind of not like I guessto make sure that you're you know,
she's proud of her culture and doesn'thave to have shame, Like what did
you do to be like oh wow, to be Indian and this is me
you know right? Well, fortunately, the world has just become so small

(04:30):
because of social media that there's somuch more awareness and appreciation for our culture
globally. So the sense of ignorance, especially when you're growing up in Miami,
which is a melting pot of somany different cultures anyway. You know,
when I was growing up and Iwas her age, there was just
so much. There was so muchmisinformation about us as a community and as

(04:57):
a culture, which I hope andI'm seeing now is no longer there just
because of the social media aspect,and kids are far more worldly, far
just better informed. So I didn'thave to do a lot of work in
hindsight as far as like educating heror having like a conversation that you don't

(05:17):
have to be embarrassed. Having saidthat, just being on the show,
I think has been a platform forme to allow her to see that,
hey, listen, it doesn't matterwhat color you are, who you are,
what your backstory is, and whereyou come from, there's always a
space for you, your story,your voice. And I think her seeing

(05:43):
that now from the inside and going, wow, you know we're we're badasses,
and we're all the same. Youknow, we're all the same.
We're gorgeous, and people are appreciatingour food again, our talents, our
music, our clothes, and yeah, it's pretty spectacular. She also right
now lives in the epicenter of theuniverse, which is New York, where

(06:03):
she lives in New York, NewYork. You gotta come too. That's
amazing. I love me. Imean, right, so she's already getting
independent, her independence in the culturefrom and being appreciated and like New York
Fashion Week just incorporated South Asian NewYork Fashion Week, you know, within
New York Fashion Week. So yeah, I think it speaks volumes and and
the fact that I raised her inthis tribe of a community that I have

(06:27):
around me where yeah, we're allIndian, Yes, aunties are involved,
but you know, we're fun,We drink, we curse, I mean,
you are you know we we we'rein love with family. We fall
in love with you because you're veryrelatable. Again, it's it's the message
of it doesn't really matter what raceor culture, religion you're from. We're
all all the same. We're alllike we're all the same yet and just

(06:50):
celebrate different things, you know whatI mean, all the same stories exactly,
or different foods and different ingredients,but like, you know what I
mean, but we do all havethe same stories. Speaking of stories,
I loved your relationship with O'Malley becauseI feel like a lot of times we
listen, we all have relationships there'sups and downs, and there's a lot

(07:12):
of I always say to people like, you don't know what's going on in
a relationship, one hundred percent,doesn't even matter if you like hear a
rumor or your friends say something toyou. How do you because because you
also dealt with your ex husband aswell, right, co parenting, which
I think is incredible, how doyou? How did you cope with that
this season? But just like inlife, you know, um, well,
you know, co parenting for mehas always been somewhat easy because he

(07:38):
doesn't live in the country. Ana'sfather doesn't live here. He lives in
India, And um, I've kindof had free reign on raising her,
which thankfully I have because I'm sohappy she wasn't raised by that side of
the family family. Right, butyou still have a relationship with him,
I'm sorry you do. You stillhave a relationship with him, like in

(07:58):
terms of ape, like just talkingon the phone and talking absolutely not absolutely
not no longer as of earlier thisyear. No, I've kind of put
a stop to that. He's notyou know, there's an X as an
X for a reason, and I'vedone my best in these eighteen years that
we have not been married to coparent respectfully. So Anishka does not have

(08:20):
the parent that's raising her bickering andbeing bitchy about her father because I dislike
him, but I want her tohave a relationship with her dad. I
think it's important. So no,her father and I as of this past
year, I'm like, I'll seeyou at the wedding. You know what
I mean? Right's wedding? Um, so co parenting for me right now,

(08:43):
it's super easy. She's also twentyone and lives in New York.
Like I no longer she's crazy becauseyou look twenty one, which is a
you're like amazing, look amazing U. But yeah, that's so crazy,
right, Like to have an adultdaughter literally a glad and she's getting married.
No, she's not. I'm sorry, Oh my god, I know
I'm not married. I mean,I'll deal with you and see you and

(09:07):
nich gets married. Yeah, umno. So, and she's twenty one
and lives in New York. SoI don't have to really co parent anymore
because they can speak to each other. I don't have to hand her the
phone or be like a Niche couldcall your dad. You know, it's
Sunday, so thankfully I have kindof weeded him out of my life,
and O'Malley has just always been rocksolid. You know. He's always just

(09:28):
like cheerleading around whatever decision I makewhen it comes to that part of my
life. And he's also my biggestcheerleader when it comes to like navigating where
I need to be in our relationship. Like at the moment, I'm in
Louisville at home with him. I'mhere for the holidays, but you know,
I also still live in Miami forthe most part, and he's extremely

(09:52):
patient with that. He is right, Okay, So sometimes I continue to
say, like we're a relationship thatactually wants to be with each other,
Like we actually want to be withyou know, we've been together over eight
years and the entire eight years hasbeen long distance, so we actually want
to be with each other, whichis interesting. It's I love that you
say that because so a lot ofpeople call in and they text, they
write intition in the city about relationshipsand dating and it's there's so many and

(10:16):
I've been through this too, likewell, like does he like me?
Like I don't know, is thiswhere this? Where is this relationship going?
I feel like you know, it'sone side or the guy feels like
he's putting more of the girl feelslike she's putting more. And it's interesting
that you said, Um, Iwas telling my boyfriend the other night,
like we like you both want tohave to be with each other to make
it work. So it doesn't matterabout the little things or the it doesn't

(10:39):
matter about like, yeah, thelittle things, the bigger things. If
you too really want to make itwork, at the end of the day,
you will find a way to makeit work. If you do,
then you'll find the like excuses inthe limbo back and forth and like you
know, in our Indian culture andI'm sure maybe even in yours, a
lot of the relationships are based onlike what you need, you know what
I mean, Like I am tobe married right now for the for the

(11:01):
family, or I need to bemarried right now for the sense of the
community and my age and the senseand the other and um, maybe just
maybe it's an age thing, youknow, Maybe it's because of it been
married and divorced twice that I'm verymuch at piece with, Like we want
to be with each other and wherewe live does not define our relationship.

(11:22):
Who we are to each other everysingle day is what defines it, and
that is we're going to be togetherforever. And that doesn't mean that I
don't want to kill him nine outof ten times, right, you know
what I mean? But I forgetthat, right, yeah, that,
But I've also told him the onlyway, the only out he has,
the only way out in this relationshipis death. So you're saying though that,

(11:43):
like it is okay. Sometimes wefeel bad that like maybe he's annoying
me. Does this mean that,like I should get out of the relationship,
and like that's no, it doesn'tmean you any so many Oh my
god, that's the part Like that'sI almost feel like that's the best part
of relationships. So I mean,that's I hate that part of the because
you're, well, yeah, youknow what, you're right, like,

(12:05):
yeah, let me call bullshit onmyself. I know, no, actually
don't know, but you have agood point. Maybe you can speak on
that point. Those are the momentsthat I think that you need to sit
back and like be insightful about andbe like, Okay, you know what
I mean, Like if things werealways great, I know what I want,
I really you know, I knowwhat I want, but it's like

(12:26):
what I don't want is like sucha life altering adjustment. And then when
you realize, wow, you're pissingthe shit out of me because this about
you really annoys me. But Ilove you and it's gonna be okay,
right, Like literally, that orangebox of meta musil, that freaking tub

(12:50):
of meta musil will be the deathof me. We are very similar.
I know if I have to seea towel on the floor or just something
and the death of me, Likewhy the bathroom is big, beautiful,
white, beautiful, so beautiful.Why can't we just put them at a
musil in a nice black jar?Right? Take? But no, this

(13:11):
orange shit? But you know it'sit's so how do I talk with those?
Yeah? Like so when that happens, Like those little arguments are big
arguments. I guess what's your adviceto us on how to deal with it?
Like how do you usually deal withit? To take a walk?
Do you say, hey, let'stalk about this later, do you guys?
Do you guys communicate? Well,he's a great communicator. I'm not
I say what I need to say. I'm pissed off about it, Like

(13:35):
I'm not mincing my words every timewe have a challenge and he's like,
you know, I'm not sure Iunderstood you correctly, And I'm like,
no, no, no, youunderstood me just fine, right, Like
I'm not mincing my words. Likewhen I'm really bitchy and I say what
I need to and he's like,I'm not sure I heard that correctly or
I'm not sure I understood I'm like, no, if it sounded awful,
it's exactly what I meant, right, So you're honest, honest. Yeah,

(13:58):
I'm like to a fault almost,But you know, some you pick
and choose your battles. I feel, you know, I think that you
just got to pick and choose yourbattles there there. I mean, I'm
very very sensitive, and I'm alsolike I don't mind a good friend right,

(14:18):
pure boredom sometimes, especially when I'min Louisville, which is like a
snooze fest. Yeah, you're like, let's get on the fights tonight,
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(16:07):
back to the podcast. But no, he's a great communicator, and I
think that we just we balance eachother out, like I know where I
know when I'm like, okay,I've pushed. I poked the bear really
really hard, so I'm going toback off. And I think that he
knows the same. And again,I think the love is there. The
larger pictures there. We have afamily together, you know, two of

(16:30):
his kids mine. We've been togethereight years. The families love each other,
and it's just about like, hey, I want to be with you.
I don't have to be with you. I don't need to be with
you. I want to be withyou. Yeah, that's what it's about.
That's the best advice that anyone cantake away. You know. Liking
somebody I think is better than lovingsomebody. It's bigger, I think in

(16:53):
a relationship. And I look athim every day and I really like him.
That's a really good way to reallyreally like him instead of like saying
like the love word all the time, and it's like, yeah, you
have to like the person, yeah, and respect them enough to like them
every day and want to be aroundthem and be with them, and yeah,
I'm working on things too, Likeyou have to work on things in

(17:14):
general about yourself and communication. Butthe wanting to be with each other that's
always going to stick with me.That is such a great advice. And
and you know, I also thinkthat I come from a culture where we
don't really discuss feelings, whereas helike, when we're having a challenge and
we communicate, he wants to discussfeelings and like throw words like gaslighting and

(17:37):
like all these efforts and I'm like, you just know you're irritating me.
I'm not like, I don't knowwhat that even means. Just stop,
you know what I mean? Likethe terminal, Yeah, the words that
we grow Yeah, like like youknow, like the whole Like, so
I'm learning to like be more selfaware of like the way he communicates is

(18:00):
far more effective. But having saidthat, like you said, none of
us are perfect and no relationships areperfect, and we all like be it
at our own drum and we justhave to want to be with each other
exactly. I love that. Howdoes he feel about the show now?
Three seasons and you being you know, one of the stars of the show,

(18:21):
and you're really vocal, You're like, you're very You're a very relatable
character on the show. Is heokay with it? Is he loves it?
He loves it. He really reallydoes love it. He had a
tough time with it initially back inthe day when we were still kind of
like figuring out whether the show wasgoing to happen or not, you know,
but I think all of us werehaving like what the fuck moment because

(18:45):
all we really knew of Bravo waslike the Housewives franchise, you know what
I'm saying or things, Yeah,the franchise is that we weren't. We
weren't like yikes, you know,is that going to be us? And
he was nervous. He's like,I don't want this to be the death
of our relationship. I don't wantthis to be like where you end up

(19:06):
meeting somebody else or this, thatand the other. But like you know,
at the end of the day,the end product has been this really
uplifting, positive, funny look intoour lives and our culture that's doing more
good than it is doing harm.And he loves it. He loves being
part of it. I love that. Also, we see with the Aunties,

(19:30):
which I'm gonna have you, likeexplain a little bit about, you
know, the Aunties and your relationshipwith them, but you also have friendships
with of course your entire cast.How do you because I also I grew
up with a big family, right, A lot of cousins, a lot
of aunts. We don't call themaunties, but we call them, like,
you know, different names. Andit was a little like challenging you
know, trying to please your elders, right and who raised you and the

(19:53):
culture, and then trying to alsobe by your friend's side with especially the
two weddings this season. Yes,so, and you was This is a
two part question. Feel free toanswer the first part, but also we
get into which we're going to getinto, how what a good friend you
are to Anisha throughout her wedding andher is you know, how she's dealing
with the rest of the cast andhow they feel about her as well,

(20:15):
Michelle and that whole thing. Soyou take us through you know your opinion.
You know, the Aunti culture isa very large one for me.
It's a it's a really important partof my life because um, I grew
up in in in community in Miamithat was that is was not as large
as it is right now. Therewas you know, twenty families, twenty

(20:37):
five Indian families that was literally familyto all of us and to each other.
Wow. Um and they built thecommunity. So like whether it's Michelle's
parents or Amrit's parents, like,those are people that were my aunties growing
up. And that makes sense becauseyou guys were you started, Yeah,
the family all in in community solike Vishal and Mreth, I've seen born,

(21:02):
I've seen Sean Patel born. Iwas at Kalpana's wedding, you know
what I mean. And then Igot married and moved away, and ten
years later when I came back witha three year old, those young auntie's
kids were now in college, whetherit was Amareth or Vishal and Sean,

(21:22):
they were all gone and they werein college, and all of a sudden,
you have these aunties now empty,nesting and wanting to do happy hours,
but also helping me raise my threeyear old. So like automatically they
went from being not just my mom'sfriends but like friends. Like those aunties
are now my friends that I goon happy hours and like weekend trips with.

(21:45):
And this entire tribe has helped mealso raise a Nushka. And then
Amareth came back, Vishal came back, and I'm not coupled. I'm not
I don't have a husband, Idon't need to be home, so I
can go hang out with Vishaal andI'm rid now too, And you know,
because they've grown up and they're nolonger like little little boys and little

(22:06):
kids that are annoying the shit outof me. So yeah, like it's
kind of come full circle and nowit's amazing because Nika's part. You're like,
I look young as shit, solike a please, bitch, sorry,
it just doesn't It doesn't hurt thatI'm hot, and you guys,
it doesn't hurt that you're hot.It really doesn't hurt with that, and
you guys don't mind having me,and you know, and now when they're

(22:27):
in New York or I'm here andthey're in Miami, Nishka's hanging out with
them too, So it's it's reallyreally fantastic, this sense of like family
that we all have with each other. Yeah, I love that you guys
have each other's back. I thinkyou need that sense of family foundation,
like no matter how all dependent youare. Like I used to like get

(22:48):
mad at the culture growing up myselfbecause it's a similar as you're. Middle
Eastern people and Jewish people are verytight knit, you know, families,
it's all about the family, youknow. Yeah, And I was always
like, oh, I can justbe single, like when I was like
growing up single, independent, whocares about family or community? And then
I realized watching your show, andthen just getting closer to my family,

(23:10):
like it is important. Like there'salways gonna be obstacles, there's always gonna
be annoying things, always always,and you know, I get it.
Like the younger generations like, oh, the auntie's gossip, they do that,
but guess what so do so?Do you right? They go like,
yeah, have you watched season threelately? Like, yeah, what
do you think? Why would yousay the auntie's gossip about the moment?

(23:33):
Like, I'm rid is our biggestauntie this season three? Like is anybody
missing that Armorth is like the biggestshit stirring ontie on our show at the
moment, Yeah, why would yousay? So? What would you say?
And what would you say? Likethe clashes from the cast, like
from what's going on with Anisha andMishall, Like why do you think they're

(23:56):
at odds at times? Um?I think Michelle always needs something to deflect
on from his own personal shit,you know what I mean? Like if
he's frustrated, I feel in hisown relationship, it's hard for him to
just be like yeay, you youknow so? And I think that's kind
of bullshit, but it is whatit is. I'm really excited, and

(24:19):
I'm proud for Anisha taking this hugestep in doing what she needs to do
for herself. I mean it's important. You know, you've seen her the
past two seasons date frees her eggsand say that she wants to be in
a good, healthy relationship. Andnow that she's found her man like,
she's doing it. She's putting hermoney where her mouth is. And I'm

(24:40):
really proud of her because it's noteasy. I mean it's eight years I
haven't moved to Louisville yet, rightexactly, Like there's a lot of sacrifice
and yeah that hopefully the friendships willunderstand, yeah, I mean hopefully,
And yeah, none of our relationshipsright now are like looking fantastic. So
any she's doing right by hers andI'm fully supported. I miss her,

(25:04):
but you know she's getting the teaas soon as I get into the car,
right, Yeah, you're going tobe able to share. That's not
missing much. I'm letting her knowall of it. And do you guys,
so when you talk to the auntielike so, when the aunties do
goss up about the relationships and stufflike that, are you the one who
kind of is the barrier? Badnews, or talks to them, talks

(25:26):
to like everybody else, letting themknow what's going on. Are they okay
with what's going on with between youand the cast in general? Like I
mean, it just depends on whothe auntie is sometimes, you know,
if it's an auntie that I'm notreally a big fan of, like go
go burn, go do that onyour own. I'm not picking up your
mass. It just depends on whatwe're talking about and what's really happening,

(25:48):
because there are times that there's justno need for involvement. It gets sensitive,
the lines get really blurred between thekids and the moms, and you
know, I straddled both the worldold, so I kind of have to
like navigate properly. Um. Butit also just depends sometimes on how much
champagne I've had, Right that's you'relike, it depends on the champagne and

(26:14):
what's and I was just gonna say, and it also depends on the quality
of the champage. What's her favoritechampagne. My favorite champagne, I will
say, is Peri juet for likejust an afternoon in for like a mimosa
or a balini, And um,if I want like a really good night.

(26:34):
Then it's dumb. Oh love that. Yeah, what would you say?
Um, I guess is your biggestchallenge this season that we see,
Well, you know, I've hadto sell my house and leave because a
Nishka's father is kind of a pieceof ship. Uh he's not like I'm
just gonna get to the point,but yeah, he's not such a great

(26:57):
person, um to me at least, he's still very angry about the fact
that I left him, and youknow that typical and in mentality. So
he, I guess just waited fora moment in time when he would be
able to, I don't know,get back at me per se. You

(27:17):
know, like to be angry foreighteen years is a lot of anger.
And yeah, so I've had tosell my house because it was either you
sell your house or I pay forAnishka's tuition and education. And like,
there's there's a lot, there's athere's a lot of backstory involved that hopefully,

(27:37):
um, all of you will getclarity on the rest of the season
and so yeah, you know,hopefully that that story will kind of unravel
and you guys will understand why Ihad to sell my house because I know
it doesn't make a lot of sensewhen I'm like, I had to sell
the house to pay her tuition.Wasn't just as simple as that, it
was. It was a lot oflike him kind of holding her edge location

(28:00):
over her head, like I willpay for New York and your apartment and
school if your mom sells the house. Like there was a lot of that
relation, and so it was.It came. My decision of selling the
house came more from a place oflike, not wanting to lose my child,

(28:21):
not wanting my child to live withthe like I'll give up anything for
her. I'm not holding onto anythingwhen it comes to her happiness. And
I wanted to see how different thatwould be in her relationship with me,
and how her relationship with her fatheris so transactional, you know. So

(28:45):
it's been a life altering change.I live with my parents at the moment,
because it's not like I sold thehouse and came into a lot of
money. I sold the house andgave all the money to Nishka for her
education and for her life in NewYork. And you know what he didn't
realize is that in thinking he washurting me, which he has, I'm
devastated. He also hurt her,you know, her sonse of home and

(29:07):
a roof over her head has beentaken away. I fortunately have O'Malley and
I have our home here. Butnow when Innishka wants to come home for
Christmas or come home for the summer, she's at Nani and Nana's house with
me and my grandparents. Her sonsof home has been taken away. And
you know, Karma is a bitchand get him so sorry that you went

(29:29):
through that, because that is avery tough situation too. It is it's
a it's a really large part oflike I don't want to say our season
three, it's a large it's amassive deal in my life. And um,
I feel like it's a really bigstory for Family Karma season three,
and I just I just hope thatit plays out and all of you as

(29:51):
viewers and you know, well wishersfor me get to get to get clarity
on it, because it wasn't like, oh I just sold my house and
miserable now And what do the Auntiesthink of that? In terms of life.
They've been They've been very very supportive. You know, they've seen how
I've suffered for a whole year,almost two years with the struggle of selling,

(30:15):
and it just really came down tome not wanting to lose my relationship
with my daughter because she all shewants to do is be in New York
and study, you know what Imean. That's incredible that that you sacrifice
that for your daughter, Like notmany parents will do that. Many parents
will give tough love or just forselfish reasons, make excuses. And the

(30:37):
fact that you said, no,I'm gonna I even though somebody put me
against the odds to sell my housethat I raise you in, I'm gonna
do this for you. And Ithink that's a lesson that sometimes you need
to like, like, that's incrediblebecause together you're gonna get that good karma
back, like you're gonna get thatso I hope. So I mean,
and I feel like I feel like, right off the bat, like it

(31:00):
felt like he won when I soldthe house, but right off the bat
he didn't. He didn't because nowmy daughter knows, she's always known,
but now as a as an adultwith a future ahead of her, she
knows where that sacrifice and who thatsacrifice came from. And I don't even

(31:23):
like to use the word sacrifice becauseI almost feel like we use the word
sacrifice when we're dealing with something negative, so I don't like to use that.
But it's not even a sacrifice.It was just a life decision I
made because my daughter is and alwayswill be like my most important priority.
So you know, he lost,he lost because now now she knows.

(31:47):
Now the jig is up, andnow she knows what you're about. And
I didn't have to tell her.You didn't even have to tell her,
so she knew and she came toyou. So that's also like there's some
yeah, yeah comfort in that aswell, you know, yep, um
do you? I mean, thisis incredible, But I don't even know
how, Like you're so strong forcoping with I'm really not even another thing,

(32:07):
Like people keep saying you're strong,and I'm like, like mentally like
mental health, how do you whatdo you do for yourself to cope through
such a stress? Like sometimes it'scan be stressful right moving in general.
But I do know that you're gonnahave a beautiful house with O'Malley, and
I know she's gonna come to it. That's going to be her house,
And sometimes change is good it's forthe better. It's new, you know,

(32:28):
No, I agree, Like Ithink that this change is probably like
I almost feel like I've weeded outthe cancer, you know what I mean.
I no longer have to like discussanything with him, talk to him.
And like I said, I was, I was holding on to so
much by protecting my daughter from whoher father really is. And now she

(32:52):
knows and I didn't have to eventell her, so like there's a sense
of relief where like I didn't haveto be that bitchy, terrible parent but
about her father, you know whatI mean, There's there's this sense of
relief in that. Having said that, I'm really not strong. So what
do I do for my mental health? I fake it. There's something to
be fed. There's something to besaid about like that whole faking it till

(33:12):
you make it. Yeah, Ifake it, and you just kind of
like fall into that. Like evenlike manifesting is I think an extension of
that, like you're manifesting something foryour life. I just kind of fake
being okay and then all of asudden, I'm okay. That's amazing.
I think that's a good tip though, because once you're in that headspace.
It's easier to get out of thatnegative headspace and go into right, Yeah,

(33:35):
because you're faking it. You're like, I'm great, I'm amazing,
great, I'm good, be great. Yeah, because all day long,
I'm like, Okay, I can'thave a mental breakdown because then O'Malley will
feel like he's not doing enough forme, and he's doing so much that
I want him to be happy.I can't have a mental breakdown because I
want a Nisha to see that thisis actually now going to empower us and
not destroy us, and I wanther mental health to be good. And

(33:57):
I can't freak out because my parentswill feel even more sad and even worry
more, and I want them toknow how thankful I am to them.
So like all over the place,I'm just faking it, faking it's faking
it, and then eventually I justfake it enough where I'm like, Okay,
I guess I'm good. Yeah,you're like, I'm great. Talk

(34:17):
to us a little bit about thetwo weddings this season, because we have
two weddings that we see this season. Were you involved in the planning?
How does it go in terms ofending weddings, Like how do it usually,
What are the some of the traditionsyou can share with us, and
how well wedding you see is likea big traditional Bollywood wedding with all the
bells and whistles. I was notinvolved at all. Quite frankly, I'm

(34:40):
shocked that it even happened. Andyou know, it's barely happening. Why
are you shocked, like from youropinion, just because there's been so many
ups and downs. There's just beenso many ups and downs, and I
mean, I just I was justlike, Wow, you guys are really
doing this, and you guys aredo doing this in a really big way,

(35:00):
knowing how the two families feel abouteach other. So I mean,
you know, I just I guessI just assumed that based on how toxic
things had been between the two familiesand even the two of them, they
might have gone for something smaller andmore quiet and kind of kept it more
about the marriage and not the party, right. Um, but hey,

(35:23):
they had a big, fat inand wedding and I want my money back.
That's hilarious, You're funny, that'sreally that's that's a that's a good
joke. I'm a stand upon andI'm really really looking forward to Amrita Nicholas's
wedding because I really do feel liketheir relationship is about the marriage and not

(35:46):
the party, and it's just gonnabe I feel like so life altering for
all of us that haven't been toa gay wedding, for community, for
our families, Like they really arechanging all of our worlds as well.
And I'm super excited because that's arelationship I believe in. I cheer lead

(36:07):
for. I mean, I cheerlead for vishal and which as well.
But you know, it's harder tocheer for things, right that are toxic.
I guess right, people, it'sharder for people to cheer for toxic
relationships, as I mean, andespecially ones that are so publicly toxic,
you know what I mean, wherethere's like zero sense of loyalty to that

(36:27):
person's self worth and character. SoI just I'm just I cheer lead for
them. I'm just not invested init as much. Having said that,
I love armor with the Nicholas andI'm I'm rooting for them and I'm super
excited to be at their wedding.How do you feel in terms of it's
the first gay wedding in your community. So how does that like, how

(36:49):
has the community accepted lgbtqu rights andstuff in general? Like are where they
shocked when they heard that Amor wasgay? And now gay wedding? Was
it? I'm happy for you rightaway? Like, how how did that
work? I mean, I thinkit's going to make sure of both quite
frankly, Um, I would liketo think that everybody was like, yeah,

(37:12):
amazing, But you know, Iknow that hasn't been the case.
Armreth himself will tell you that.You see that even with some of the
reactions his mom has had that havebeen so raw and vulnerable. You know,
it's it's not an easy pill toswallow. Um. Yeah, and
it hasn't been. And I don'tthink that's an Indian thing. I think
that's a global thing. I reallydo. I do really feel like it's

(37:37):
a global thing. Um. WhatI think is shifting however now, or
I'm hopeful is shifting now, isthat it's no, it's no no longer
so much the sexual aspect that's jarring. It's more about like being a parent
and just wishing your child to havethe the less, the less challenges that

(38:02):
road that you choose. That's notso challenging and so difficult, you know
what I mean, Like you,So, I'm hopeful that people are looking
and accepting more because they're they're feelingas parents that you know, we just
don't want things to be difficult forour child. But I do feel like

(38:22):
as as a community, we areexcited and we are really loving that we're
going to be witness of something that'shuge to everybody. So I totally hear
you about the armored A wedding.I'm excited for that wedding too. It's
going to be beautiful. I justjust seeing his journey and seeing you and
the cast really be good friends.Like that's another thing. You know,

(38:45):
this might be a repetitive, repetitivequestion, but like why and how do
you think you and the cast areso close? Like the bond that I
see with you guys is like incrediblyundeniable. You guys can fight, you
make up, you stand other,you know, you have each other's back.
This is something that we all strive. I mean, I was talking
to my girl the other day andI was like, I wish I had

(39:06):
that because I don't. I feellike She's like, well, you need
to make it right and everyone's likeyou need to make that happen. But
sometimes it's also just a chemistry,right, So what do you yeah it
is? It's definitely. I mean, obviously you know we chase in family,
but listen doesn't always get along thatwell or are mature. You guys
are like very mature about like conflict. Well, I think that comes from

(39:30):
respecting and recognizing that our parents havebuilt this community and like, by no
means or we're trying to destroy anybody'slives because what they've done is so much
bigger than what we're discussing. Likethe petty shit is petty, you know
what I mean. And the biggerpicture is at the end of the day,
no matter where our lives take usand where we end up in school

(39:53):
and college and this, that andthe other, this is our our roots
are here. You know, weare Indian, but this is our family
right here because all of us havefamily in India and overseas and for right
here, right now in this life, you guys are our family, even
though we're not blood related. AndI think, like the petty shit we

(40:15):
get through and that commitment and bondto each other just comes from that sense
of loyalty to like our parents didthis, and we're not messing with it
because at the end of the day, we want our kids to have this.
We want you know, we wantto keep this going because it's so
important and we've all we've all gainedfrom it, we really have all.

(40:37):
And I mean we're the first fullin and cast on American television. I
mean, that's congratulations. That's incredible. That is something to be proud of.
And I love your determination to bethat you stand, you stand towards
your conviction, and I really admirepeople like that. That's to me character
someone who doesn't have to be rudeabout it or ugly about it, but

(41:00):
are very positive about This is whoI am. And I'm okay. I
I should be okay to be whoI am. And you're right, you're
the first Indian America on American televisionIndian show, which I think is incredible,
highest rated show. It's one ofthe highest rated shows too, which
isn't like, did you expect itto be this popular? Nod had no
idea. I mean, I knewthat we would have Indians in America watch

(41:22):
out of curiosity and support, butI had no idea that it would speak
volumes to people that are not Indian, and again those to show that we're
relatable. We're all we're all inthis together, this whole thing called life.
We have the stories, you knowwhat I mean. Yes, I
love that you're saying this. It'sbecause it's inspiring to the audience. It

(41:44):
is a lot. It's we're allin this light thing because this thing called
life together. Why Because I say, sometimes people think they're higher or above
you, and you you take thattoxic noise and you internalize it, or
at least I do sometimes and youdon't know where you're going because of it.
Yeah, you know, you canget The most driven person can get
lost. I mean, what doyou what do you do? And if

(42:05):
that happens to you, like whenyou're like, okay, Bali, you
gotta take a step back and realize, I'm not gonna get off track right
now. I'm gonna still keep goingno matter what people say. Well,
yeah, I'm just one of thosepeople that just keep skating. Like like
I would told you earlier, Ikind of fake it till I make it
for the most part, and whensomething is not sitting well with me,
I find it best to like Idon't internalize things, you know, outside

(42:29):
of the biggest part of my lifethat I've internalized is, you know,
protecting Anishka from what my relationship andher my marriage was to her father and
who he was as a human beingto me. And that took a huge
toll on me because I am genuinelynot a person that internalizes things. I'm
somebody that, just like I,spew it out because it has to come

(42:51):
out. So I don't really takethis step back often, and I probably
should. I probably should, Butyou know, having said that, I'm
also I'm also very respectful and mindful, and I don't forget where I'm where
I've come from. I really don't. I keep it real. I keep

(43:14):
it real. I keep it real. I think that's really important. I
think that's kind of also what speaksto I think that's why you guys love
me, because I just keep itreal. Yep, it is that's I
mean, you and Anisha are myfavorites because I love I mean, I
hope the whole cast. The castis incredible, though I love every single
one of them, but because Ithink I relate most to you too,

(43:36):
and I'm not Indian, but Istill relate to you. You know what
I'm saying, it's but I've alwaysloved the Indian culture growing up. I
also, many people don't know this, but my first, my second boyfriend
was Indian. So there was alot of culture that I was on Long
Island that I was able to beexposed to, and I just fell in
love with the culture, you know. So then when I see this,
I'm like, oh my god,that's They're amazing. You know. I

(43:59):
wanted to go to India every summerat you know, because there's something about
the culture that is friendly and funand accepting and loving, you know,
and then watching it on TV withthe Aunties, and because here's the thing.
The difference between the Aunties and thepeople I've grown up with is like
they don't take the gossip so seriously, like you can change your mind with
my I feel like people I grewup with, it's like they take it

(44:20):
to like the next extreme, youknow, right right? Does that make
yeah? Of course? And listen, there's people like that in our community
too. I just feel like you'regetting you're getting front row seats to like
this ensemb cast. Like you said, we genuinely have a bond because they
didn't. They didn't take six peopleand place us together. We actually genuinely

(44:42):
have this relationship with our families overthe years, and you guys just have
first row seats to the group thatis forward thinking, is okay with dealing
with petty shit and moving on fromit. But know, in like in
every family and in every community,there are people that take things way too

(45:04):
seriously, and I just choose notto be around that kind of energy.
I love that. On that note, I'm sure there's been people like haters
on social media with the show,and what do you How do you and
the cast handle that together? Doyou let it get do you let it
affect your friendships? Like if somebodystarts something, I would be lying if

(45:25):
I said no. You know,I'd be lying if I said no,
especially the first season, because wejust did not know what to do and
how to do it. And wealso aired right in the beginning of the
pandemic when the world shut down,so we had like we couldn't even see
each other. We hadn't even watchedan episode together. We were just stuck

(45:47):
on television all of a sudden,can't see our friends, can't see each
other, and living in like Twitter, Hell, can we imagine that nightmare?
During the pandemic, it was reallyreally hard to figure out how to
do this, So yeah, likethe and then season two was filmed also
during the pandemic, So those twoseasons were really hard because we just didn't

(46:13):
have a lot of access to eachother and being able to have like in
person communication. So yeah, sometimesit did affect some of our friendships.
But again, we are so loyalto our families and what our families mean
to each other that we kind ofnip. We kind of get to the
heart of it, take care ofit, and move on because I don't

(46:36):
want our parents and our families tobe affected by any of it. Season
three, I think we've all juststarted communicating better because we're able to see
each other and we also know whatthe end product looks like and we're not
trying to destroy each other's lives,you know what I mean? Yeah,
if something I said hurt you,okay, guess what you know, I'm

(47:00):
sorry, But how much fun didwe fucking have? A Bravo con right?
Right? You're going to keep itmoving to exactly like at least you
apologize, you own it, andthen you move on. That's the other
way to yeah, And I thinkknowing what the end product on television looks
like knowing that at the end ofthe day we are loved as not just
individual personalities on the show, butas a show we're loved. We just

(47:23):
we just keep it moving. Wekeep it moving, but we keep it
real as well. And I mean, I just told somebody off this morning
on our past Oh wow, Ilove that. Any little exclusive you can
give us, I mean, howdo you tell someone off? I'm very
so here's my thing. Complication forme is the hardest thing. I'll always
go zero to one hundred because I'llinternalize a lot, so that's not good.

(47:45):
But I want to get to aplace where I guess you can teach
us where like you can confront someonein a political way. I don't even
know what the hell that means.But how did you that? We have
a family Karma group chat. Youknow that's cute. You know, so
we stay in touch daily with somethingor the other. And you know,
I just woke up this morning beinga little bit twisted about something one of

(48:06):
the aunties said, and I waslike, somebody ever spoke about my mom
like that. I'd fuck her upright, right? Just FYI, So
at least you're but so you're confrontingthe situation without really fighting, You're just
saying I'm just letting you know,like, hey, this is my opinion.
Yeah, yeah, Like you know, the next episode is not until

(48:27):
New Year's Day and we're taking youknow, we're taking a break for Christmas.
And that's pretty much what I said. I was like, you know
what, I don't mind the breakbecause I'm kind of grossed out by what
was said last night. And somebodyspoke about my mom like that, I'd
have a problem with it. I'dsomebody up right, And do people respond
to you in terms of like arethey as just as confrontational or sometimes they'll

(48:49):
internalize it an end later on twopm and nobody has responded yet. So
okay, so that's your answer,right, So do the Aunties ever get
involved the he's ever get involved inthat, like, Bolly you should have
said that, or Bolly this happened. No. I mean, now,
if like the kid goes and tellsthe mom, maybe, but at the

(49:10):
end of the day, what isthe aunt gonna come say to me?
She said it on television, right, right, It's been already, it's
already been done, it's already outthere, and I'm allowed to have an
opinion about it. And I didn'tthink it was cool. Yeah, I
like that about you. I likethat sometimes you should say things that are
on your aunt. A lot ofpeople don't want to say because they're scared

(49:31):
to rock the boat. This wholebullshit of rocking the boat. I'm telling
you right now, well, Ilove you. You've helped me get over
that fear because like I'm like overit, Like it's proouncing because the minute
you talk to somebody about your feelings, it's all of a sudden, you're
the gas lighting. You're the badguy, You're the di just only you're
and you're just can say one sentencelike you just said, like hey,

(49:52):
I'm just letting you know. Iwouldn't be cool with it, and and
don't take it like doesn't have tobe like a whole dramatic fight. That's
my point. By you and Iwe can still be friends. I still
like your mom. I just don'tthink that was necessary nor was it cool.
And like I said earlier, yeah, we keep things moving and we
tend to kind of like nip shitin the bud because we do care about

(50:15):
the community, and we do careabout our parents building this community community together.
But at the same time, whenI see one auntie going for another
auntie, I'm going to call theshit out right right, I'm going to
call it out and be like,Okay, stop being so thirsty. But

(50:36):
sometimes I also might help them gettogether to see each other's point of view
at the end of it. Sometimesyour opinion. Actually we don't realize it's
helpful saying it out loud, thetruth, I hope. So, I
mean, I guess we're gonna haveto just keep watching Big, So tell
us what can we expect for therest of the season. A lot of
where this all came from. Whateverwe're talking about now on the podcast.

(51:00):
You guys, they're gonna go andwatch because they're gonna want backstory. Yes,
a lot of this, of course, you know, the anti drama.
We have Armored's wedding to look forwardto. Got to figure out whether
Vishaale and Richard are going to actuallyconsummate that marriage or not. And uh,
you know, Monica's on her ownjourney figuring some stuff out. And

(51:21):
in the meantime, Anisha and Igonna look pretty and we're really cute clothes.
I love that it's always about lookingcute, by the way, I
mean for me, for sures,well, for me. The first season,
I was like, I want tolook cute. I'm gonna be on
TV. But for some reason,I thought I was going to be okay

(51:42):
on TV without like concealer and mascara. And then I watched one and I'm
like, oh girl, you needsome blush from concealer and that one.
So season two, I don't careif it's the pandemic. I came out
guns blazing with lashes on every timeI filmed. If I was throwing out
garbage, I had flashes on.Yeah. Now this season, you know

(52:02):
it's it's been a tough one forme. It's been a really tough year
with the house and stuff, andthere's been emotionally eating and drinking involved.
So I don't love looking. Idon't love how I look at the moment.
You look amazing now and you're you'rewearing a switch. That's my point.
You still look put together, youlook beautiful, you have makeup on.
I think it's about your energy too, right, like how your confidence

(52:24):
may or may not be left overmakeup from last night that I did not
wash off. Okay, all thatmight be a little bit crusty, but
kept it on. I refreshed witha setting spray. But yeah, I
don't love how I look at themoment or this season. But you know,

(52:45):
I still there's still some great outfitsI'm going to wear the rest of
the season, and hopefully as faras my story and journey is concerned,
there will be more light shed onit and there will be some more clarity.
What's something that you that makes youconfident when you're feeling not confident,
Let's say, with with outfits orwhat do you usually do? I love

(53:06):
smelling good. That's my favorite compliment. Yeah, that's actually one of my
favorite favorite compliments to get that,oh bala, you smell so good.
So my favorite perfume. You know, always makes me feel good because I
always hear when I have it onthat, oh my god, I love
how you smell. So I'm like, okay, yay. And clean hair,

(53:28):
yeah clean, But yeah, Iknow what you mean. Such a
double edged sword because after COVID.After having COVID, I've been losing so
much of it, so I trynot to wash it too often. And
put heat on it, so likeI'm always a freaking grease ball. But
yeah, oddly enough, you know, washed clean hair and smelling good clean

(53:51):
hair and selling good. I lovethat. Um. Before I wrap up,
Chanela City audience wants to know whatis your favorite place that you recommend
when you're New York City to eatand Miami that we should check out.
Oh tough, because I'm so obsessedwith New York New York. I have
to tell you I'm obsessed with thisone Indian restaurant called gup Shop. Oh

(54:13):
I'm going to check out. Ilove Indian food, do up s hup
like, obsessed with it. I'mthere really really often. I'm in New
York really often, and I'm atgup Shop every time I'm there. So
obsessed with gup Shop and um,Miami I love. I love just my
local like hidden gems that are nottouristy, because Miami is so fabulous as

(54:34):
a new restaurant just like New York, Like every second, every second a
way there's a new restaurant. ButI love tropical Chinese dam sum that's dying
to go home and go eat sometropical Chinese damsum. I love that that's
a good one in terms of thejust transitioning here. In terms of the
aunties in this season, who wouldyou say the ones mostly at odds and

(54:58):
that you want to see that youwant to see actually become more you know,
friendly and just be one and moreof a unit. Um. Well,
as we saw last night, youknow, Uh Tarma, Brian's mom,
you know, uh says some stuffabout Michelle's Momchi, So you see

(55:19):
that that's going to somewhat be explosive. Um. And as far as like
them working it out, if somebodyreally feels that way about you, you
shouldn't have to be around them.So I'm not I'm not there yet.
I'm not at a place where I'mlike, oh, I hope they can
kiss and make up, because I'mnot sure i'd be okay with the things

(55:40):
that were said. It's interesting thatyou say that I was, because,
Yeah, a lot of people don'thave to accept every apology. You're right,
you don't have to be around peoplethat are keep that always keep hurting
you in general. Right, Yeah, you don't have to be around like
you don't have to. That's that'sone of the biggest things I've learned of
myself this past year that you knowwhat, just because you said sorry doesn't

(56:06):
mean that I have to accept it, and I'm okay being then the petty
bitch that didn't accept your apology becausethat's they're like, Okay, you said
sorry, but that doesn't make itokay because the behavior right doesn't change it,
right, it has to be thebehavior changing too. Yeah, just
because you said you're sorry doesn't meanthat I have to accept it and it
makes it okay. And you know, then you end up being this petty

(56:27):
person that didn't accept the apology.But I'm like, okay, I guess
I'm petty, so I'm not thereyet. You do see that something explosive
is explosive is going to happen basedon what Darma said, But I'm not
sure. I mean, listen,if they want to kiss and make up,
more power to them. Me asa person, I'm not sure i'd
be okay with it. Right.Well, stay tuned, we are about
to see what was your favorite momentyou would say for yourself during this season.

(56:55):
My favorite moment during this season sofar has been I don't know,
call me back. I'm not thereyet, right. I love that.
First of all, you're putting thaton a merch t shirt, okay,
and I'm buying ten of those.That is hilarious. I'm telling people now,

(57:16):
I don't know, call me backwhen you want to call me back,
call me back on that because I'mnot there yet. Well, well,
with you and O'Malley during the processof what's going on with your ex
and your daughter, would you saythat was a nice moment knowing that,
like you've seeing you guys work thingsout throughout the whole situation. Um,
you know, it's it's always anice moment when O'Malley and I can work

(57:38):
things out because, like I said, nine out of ten times, I
also want to kill him. Buthim him holding my hand through this whole
debacle and nightmare of my house situationis no surprise to me because he's we've
been together eight years. I expectednothing else from him other than like the

(57:59):
strength and positivity that he has beenand given and the patients he's had because
I know that I wouldn't have hadit had it been him, you know.
But yeah, so that's always niceand it always secures and validates how
I feel about him, which iswhat I started this conversation with you off

(58:21):
earlier saying we want to be witheach other. We don't need to,
we don't have to, we wantto be with each other. But yeah,
him him being in my corner obviouslyalways gives me far more strength than
I deserve. Well, you're amazing. Do you want to also share with
us anything you're working on because Iknow you're an entrepreneur yourself as well?
Right, are you working on anythingthey want to share with us? Yet?

(58:45):
Working on how to? I'm justworking on how to make up more
money at the moment, But anyideas at the moment, I'm trying to
figure out how to make reels andtiktoks. Okay, yes, because you
want to do like more of that? No, I mean what about a
fashion line? I would just seeI would do well with a fashion line

(59:05):
now now, thank you. Ijust you know, I have a lot
of ideas constantly of what I thinkwould be on brand for me, just
getting it on paper, getting thetime to kind of. I think I
just am scared because I am fortyeight and I never I've never really had
something of my own per se,So I'm just scared even on how to

(59:29):
get its started. But I thinkthat right now, I've done a collaboration
with a beauty company based on theproducts that they have that I love.
But eventually I'd like to have acouple of my own. I'd love to
I'd love to do something in thefashion industry. I'm not sure what yet,
and I'm definitely going to start puttingmy life on paper and join there's

(59:54):
going I've been in my life.But now that that the cats out of
the bag, literally, I thinkthere's definitely a book involved soon. I'm
looking forward to your success. We'rerooting for you. We love you.
Where can everybody follow you? OnInstagram? Bali be Bali and yeah,

(01:00:15):
I'm really good with dms and Iwear my heart on my sleeve, So
if you want my number, I'llgive you that too, just kidding ye.
Find me on Instagram Bali be Baliand watch Family Karma on Sundays at
nine pm. Hi, this isBali from Bravo TV's Family Karma and I'm
chatting with my girls Shanella Mari fromChanelle in the City,