Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hey there friends, I'm Aubrey Harkis.
Today's episode is a replay fromthe Child of the Redwoods live
show that I host with my husbandin Montessori homeschooling,
partnering crime, David Harkis. You can watch the full episode
on the Child of the Redwoods YouTube channel.
Here's the clip. You can have all the knowledge
(00:25):
and materials in the whole world.
You can follow all of the scope and sequences, and we have a
great scope and sequence. If you want to follow one from
Child of the Redwoods, you can buy every single set of the
golden beads, the math materials, the stamp game, the
bead frame. You can tower.
Oh my gosh, you can have it all.But if you skip this very
(00:48):
important skill, it will determine whether you are
actually Montessori homeschooling or not.
And that skill is. Observation.
Yes. Now, this is actually part three
of our series on the Montessori Homeschool Blueprint.
What No one tells you, but we'retelling you.
And if you've been watching, youwill know that observation is
(01:11):
often mentioned. And that's because it really is
the key to everything in Montessori.
We don't just start teaching, wewatch first.
Yeah, I think a lot of people think that.
I mean, I know we say observe a lot, you know, in in Montessori,
but what I think a lot of peopleget wrong is that it's really
(01:35):
like 10% teaching and 90% observation at least at least in
the beginning, maybe forever, you know, and that.
But if you think about it in terms of that ratio, that is a
lot, a lot of observation. And Montessori guides do this
every single day in a Montessoriclassroom.
Most homeschoolers kind of skip this step, honestly, because
(01:59):
when they're first getting started, because what feels more
actionable, teaching a lesson orwatching your child play?
And obviously the teaching feelsmore actionable.
So that's where we put all of our focus and attention and.
It's not a homeschooler problem.This is one of the biggest
lessons and hardest lessons thatprofessional teachers have to
(02:21):
learn as well. We have a phrase, it's called
the sage on the stage, and that is this idea that when you go
into teaching, you're meant to be the font of all knowledge and
you have to be doing. Now a lot of us have progressed
past that. We know like the old stuffy idea
of the lecturer standing at the front and dictating to the
classes passe. That's not new, but we've simply
(02:45):
adapted it for a different kind of genre.
So I'm not going to stand at thefront of the stage, but I'm not
going to be actively involved atevery moment telling you or
directing you. Yeah.
And. This is literally true at every
single age. I know.
I really when you brought this up, it did bring back a big
memory. Like we think of the classic
teacher who's just lecturing to students or, you know, while the
(03:08):
students are at their desks all arranged in little rows.
That's kind of an antiquated version of what really happens
in a lot of classrooms these days.
I know that we started teaching in the early 2000s when the
trend was like to break apart those rows and to start forming
small groups and to do more group centered teaching
(03:29):
instruction. And I think I, I think I haven't
been in a classroom in a long time, but I, I hope teachers are
still moving along that same progressive pattern.
But what has not shifted is thatemphasis on the adults
involvement. And you're absolutely right.
When I was teaching in the classroom, even though myself
(03:52):
and my fellow teachers in our elementary school, like we're
doing much more hands on small group attention learning, we
were still judged when we were observed by principals and vice
principals and the school administration based on like how
active we were in our actual teaching.
(04:14):
You know, so they really like wewere being judged based on like
the 90% teaching, 10% watching, you know, even like 99% teaching
1%. Well, I think it can even.
Come from within, right? Like if we are sort of
responsible people and responsible adults, we feel like
we should be working and in order to either earn that
(04:39):
paycheck or prove our valid, youknow, our worth to validate our
worth as a homeschooler. Or, well, we have the idea that
if we're just standing there, we're lazy.
You know, the teachers that juststand there and watch are lazy.
They're not actually teaching. And if you are just standing
there idly thumbing through yourphone or remembering, you know,
(05:01):
your dinner from last night and not paying attention, then I
don't know if you're lazy, but you're certainly not engaged.
What you want to be doing is observing.
And observing actually is a lot of work.
It's something that you're goingto focus a lot on.
And observation is super important for several reasons.
One of the reasons is it tells you what the child, your child
(05:24):
is ready for. So you're watching for signs of
readiness. The other thing that you're
looking for with observation, and this actually goes to the
problem with a lot of education,is that it ties to what we would
consider assessment. So we traditionally in most
schools and in learning environments use standardized
testing like an SAT or a take home exam or something like that
(05:46):
to measure knowledge. And assessments get a lot of
bad. You get a bad rap for the reason
for this reason, because they are not very discreet.
They tend to have all kinds of biases built in.
They don't actually assess true understanding, right.
So what is the right way to assess the actual right way?
It's through observation of the child, of your child producing
(06:10):
certain work or engaging intellectually.
We actually created a whole framework called the Deb system
that we teach in our program that will kind of guide you
through this. So because we don't believe in
the idea of mastery. Yeah, we built it into our
Montessori planning cards as well.
So if you're at home and you're a member of our complete
(06:30):
curriculum or unlimited plan, you already have access to
these. If you're a legacy member, you
don't yet have access to them, but it's Deb and they stand for.
D is discovery, E is exploration, and B is building,
Right, right. And so like I said, we don't,
we're not interested in using the term mastery because it
implies A finality, right? And that is not the mindset we
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want to have, even though for certain there are levels of
mastery, but the language we usereally does direct how we think.
And So what we want to get our minds focused on is not
mastering or completing something when in terms of
learning, but rather an ongoing process.
So observation is not only telling you where your child is
(07:17):
currently, it's telling you where your child is going to go
next. So what are the Deb stand for?
DES Discovery. That means it's a new concept.
Your child is just starting to become aware.
Of it, I'm going to give you an example from our latest theme
Dandelion, which is coming out May 1st so exciting yes, two
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days just released for our members in our if.
You're in complete or unlimited?You already have access to
Dandelion. So this actually this lesson
inside one of the themes, a lot of people wonder like how do the
themes? Are they extra lessons outside
of the foundational lessons? They're not.
They're ways to introduce, discover, explore or build upon
(07:59):
the foundational lessons. That's right.
Whether that's for you at the introduction stage or, or
whether it's like the stage where your child is starting to
remember more of the concepts and starting to play around with
them, or whether your child has really already understands that
concept well and is now applyingit to something else.
(08:20):
Maybe for example, they've already learned about the parts
of a flower by examining a Lily,which is a very classic, you
know, because they're the liliesare like very big in their part.
So it's very easy to see the pistol and the stamens and the
the pollen and all. Maybe they've already had the
experience with the Lily, but they've never, you've done it
with a dandelion, you know, or aDaisy or a sunflower.
(08:45):
And so, you know, that's why if you were to just just check it
off, yeah, we've already done parts of the flower and then let
it go, then there's so much, so much.
You're really missing out. Yeah.
And so because really, what is good for that?
Yeah, because at that point, what you've really done is
hopefully gotten your child to the bee level, which is
building. And that means that they can
(09:06):
creatively use the concept. They could teach it to you or to
another, or in your example, they can apply it to something
similar, but not identical. And that's actually where you're
trying to go. So you might use dissecting a
Lily as a way to teach the partsand get them through the process
and your observation. You're looking for signs of
(09:27):
growth throughout each of those stages.
And that's how you know they're progressing from the discovery.
Like, oh, this isn't interestingto explore.
Like, oh, look at all the different parts and I can kind
of put them together too, building like, ah, I got it,
give me a sunflower. I bet I can find those parts
too. And when they can, then you know
that they've actually achieved at that high, this level, what
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you might normally or traditionally called mastery,
but what we would prefer you call building because they're in
a state where they can use theirknowledge to build.
I'd like to use this analogy of imagine you're hiking in the
woods and you come upon a little, say, a beautiful little
pond. That's discovery.
You found something new. OK, Now you wander around the
(10:09):
edges of that pond and you're mapping out everything.
And, oh, there's a rock over here.
And oh, there's a little cave over here and this over here.
That's exploration, right? You're discovering the
parameters of it, like your child discovering what are all
the parts of the flower and building is.
Now I know where it is, and I know all the parts of this lake
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or this little pond. I want to build a Fort, I want
to build a waterfall, I want to have a little swimming hole.
Right now you're able to take your knowledge and apply it in
creative ways that weren't already manifest.
That's how it works with any academic subject as well.
So for your flower, here's a Lily discovery.
(10:52):
Here's the parts of it, learningthe parameters.
Here's a sunflower. I wonder if it has the same.
OK, how do you know that your child is moving from one to the
other? You could give them a test,
right? You could give them a piece of
paper with the with the parts ofa flower on it and say label it.
That is a traditional way, sure.Or a better way, A.
(11:13):
Traditional way in Montessori would be to give your child a
set of botany cards. Yeah, not parts cards.
Oh, botany cards. Well, I mean, yes, yes, parts
cards, but botany specific cards, you know, with where we
can classify and but if you juststop at that, like it's almost
meaningless. Totally right.
And so you really need this actively engaging observation
(11:38):
exploration part in order to really guide your child to that
next level. Yeah, exactly.
So this is for every single lesson in the entire Montessori
curriculum. Yeah, and ours just goes from
ages 2:00 to 9:00. But this is true for every age
learner. You the adult still are using
this. And in fact, it's the marker of
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a a skilled learner is if you'vebeen able to internalize these
steps and apply them yourself, then that's really a marker.
When you say a person is educated, when a person has a
real thirst for learning, it's how you might define it.
They've taken these steps, they've internalized them and
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they apply them regularly. That's what you're trying to
develop in your own child. So remember that observation
isn't just watching, it is just an active part of guiding your
child as the direct teaching part is it's, it's really all
critical. The observation is super, super
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important. It really is the number one
skill that will make or bring your Montessori home school and
we mean it. So to help you get more
comfortable with observation, there are 4 qualities that we're
going to talk about today that you can really think about as
you go about your day. But as you're exploring
different ways to observe your pile through the different
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activities that they're doing, whether they're just sitting
there playing with a dollhouse or some stuffies and pretend
play or whether they're using the knob cylinders, you know?
Beads out and doing some math problem you can.
Use this with any of it. But all four of these qualities
really need to be present in order for you to be doing your
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job as the Montessori. These are your responsibilities
as the observer, not the child'sresponsibility as the learner.
OK, Are you ready, friends? You're probably going to, and I
say this in our courses too, you're probably going to take
notes on this, you know, so if you're just listening while
you're walking, make a note to come back and write these down
or get out your mobile app and just jot down these 4 qualities.
(13:48):
We're going to give them to you here, and I am just so curious
to hear your feedback about which of these things really
resonate with you the most and what happens when you make the
shift to really consciously thinking about incorporating all
four of them. Yeah, OK.
All right. So number one, the first one
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that we want you to think about is whether your observation is
intentional. Are you consciously choosing to
observe your child? Well, this does not mean that
you have to get your little notepad out and sit down.
Classic style or like Maria? Would have done.
Maria would have done back in the early 1900s.
(14:33):
OK, Like you, you don't have to like, make this super formal.
I mean, Maria Montessori really did come into some basically,
like it was her classroom, but there was another teacher there.
She visited the classroom regularly but wasn't there every
single day. And she was acting like a
doctor, coming in very formally,sitting down, taking notes,
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doing her scientific research, right?
That's not necessarily what you need to do.
You can be doing this at any given moment.
In fact, some of the best moments of observation are
possibly going to be happening while you were just doing random
activities with your child that you might not even think of as
educational. But if you notice during that
(15:19):
time that there's like a time ofpresence that's opening itself
up, you can't say to yourself, I'm going to be intentional
about my observation right now. I'm going to observe my child
and see what happens next. And if you make a practice of
this intentionality, it is goingto give you insights.
(15:39):
So if you've been watching your child, like we've been telling
you over the last three weeks, we've been kind of harping on
observation recently because it's so important.
If you've been like Aubrey David, I have been observing.
I'm just not seeing anything. You know, I've just been, I
watched my child all the time. It could be this intentionality
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part of it could yield you better results when you observe.
Yeah, you said something super important, which is it's not
formal, it's intentional, right,Right.
So I think we can fuse those a lot.
I think we say OK, well now is my time to observe and I'm going
to sit. And there's nothing wrong with
doing that. No, it there isn't except, well,
I will give a caveat. I think sometimes when we become
(16:24):
very informal about our observation, the child is
always, your child is always aware of what's happening and
you know, as do kids in school or the teachers in school.
When we think the teachers watching, we act differently.
That is true. So if you want more authentic
(16:47):
observation, then actually the formality is important to try
and avoid. What you're wanting to do is be
intentional, like focused, but not rigid, formal, obvious.
You're not distracted by loadingthe dishwasher, but you're also
(17:10):
not sitting there with your notepad and writing everything
down. Yeah, You know, when I would sit
there with my notepad writing everything down, I called it
journaling. And my children were often, our
kids were often interested, like, what are you doing?
And I just feel like, oh, I'm just writing.
And it was just modeling of writing but.
(17:30):
I. Really tried to do it in a very
casual way. So it was just, they saw me
writing a lot and I would just be sitting there at the table
with my notebook just writing, you know, with a pencil.
And they would just be like, oh,what are you doing right?
And like I'm writing, you want to write too.
Here's some paper, you know, and, but I would never would
tell them like I'm, I'm watching, you know, and, and so
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I really, I really tried very hard not to let them know that I
was so keenly intentionally focused.
Well, we had a good example of that last week actually in the
comments or I think it was maybelast week or two weeks ago where
one of our viewers said that their child has suddenly started
to express an interest in writing after quite a while and
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actually have a clip on that. The reading and writing in
YouTube. If you go and look at our
library that took that comment and basically what the viewer
said was that the child had taken copies of the observation
materials that we provided through the course, through our
membership and was writing on that.
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And why? I mean, it's because they are
modeling what they saw so. That's right.
I do remember that, yes. So yes, if you are learning to
become a better observer, one ofthe big benefits that you may
not have thought of is your child is also learning how to do
this as well. That's true.
When and whether you're just like sitting there quietly,
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having a present moment to yourself while your child is
engaged, or whether it's like you're sitting down with some
paper you're using those observation templates.
Your child is likely to want to mimic you in some.
Way that's actually. Great, Actually, yeah.
OK, so number one is intentional.
You're actually set out to focuson this task.
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Right, you're not distracted. You're not distracted, you're
not doing another task, you're maybe not watch out.
No, don't make a big show of it being casual or uncomfortable
with it so that the child doesn't feel like your child
doesn't feel like you're watching them like a hawk, but
you are actually watching them like a hawk.
Yeah, I like to say this is a good point we make up about not
(19:42):
being distracted. I think what we really mean is
like when you are and we're on our phones and we're just like
scrolling, it's really easy for us to become completely unaware
of everything that's around us. That's why texting, you know, so
tempting to like be texting while you're walking somewhere.
(20:02):
Especially super dangerous in the city to be doing this.
We tell our kids this all the time.
I put your phone down when you're crossing the street.
But I see adults doing it constantly.
And it really is a danger because you're not really paying
attention, even if you think. You're paying attention, so go
put your phone under your pillowor in a drawer or some special
(20:25):
place so that you can be intentional with your
observation. But that doesn't mean that you
can't be doing chores. And so you know when I say like,
don't be busy with the dishwasher and also expecting
yourself to pay complete attention.
If there's a task that requires your total focus, that's not a
great task to engage with while you're observing.
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But a really good way to get your child to feel more
comfortable and calm with what you're doing is to take on a
hobby type of task. And maybe it's as simple as like
it's something that you can do almost by rote you've done so
many times. Knitting is a good one or
crochet like something that likeyou, you can just like sit and
(21:08):
work on like a crafty type of thing.
It could be water coloring. It could be knitting could also
be journaling, which is you knowwhat it was for me.
I really like to write anyway, love journaling anyway.
And so it's just a very common stress freeway for me just just
sitting there. I also say like having a book of
Maria Montessori's and just be reading, you know, because you
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can have your book and you can read a little passage and then
pause and like unobtrusively observe your child, but not like
actively engaged in a project where you're distracted in it.
OK, so I hope that clears it up.So I'm not saying don't do your
knitting while you're observing.I'm actually saying do do your
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knitting because it's an informal way of just being
present in the room, but don't be on your phone.
Insert intentional. You've gone there to
intentionally observe. OK #2 you mentioned this.
You actually brought up this word a moment ago and that is
focused. So what does that mean?
(22:13):
It means you're watching your child closely for small signs
and behaviors, right? You are maybe looking past the
big, noisy, sometimes chaotic actions and trying to find the
patterns or causes. So it's easy to get distracted
if your child is being very big and noisy and running around,
(22:36):
right? And you might assume like that
just means they need a lot of big gross voter and that could
be the case. But you can't know that for sure
until you really sit and you focus in on exactly what's
happening. So they're running around.
Are they running around? But what they're really doing is
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they're going and grabbing something from a room and then
bringing it to another room. Or are they sure?
Or are they sitting there and like transferring?
Are they banging on something that is to make a noise, Right.
So you're sort of looking for, Ithink sometimes we just can feel
like it's chaotic and what we are looking for is the patterns
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of intentionality. I think often children are
involved when they, when they doseem kind of big and noisy and
like disorganized sometimes and in fact very, very frequently
there is a purpose to their work.
You know, like, in fact, often like this is a, a mistake
(23:43):
opportunity for you to make is if we interrupted our if we
interrupt our children during this period where they are like
big and, and moving around and obviously doing something, we
might not see whatever result will come of that behavior.
Now, obviously, if your child islike throwing the blocks, you
(24:05):
have to intervene, OK, If your child is like being destructive
or hurting other people or hurting, you know, in danger of
hurting themselves, I think we can all look at our children and
know like, are they in control of their bodies?
And if not, good to know. Now let's take some action to to
help them regulate their nervoussystem.
(24:25):
Just because they're expressing some learning moment doesn't
mean that it's right for your moment.
So you have to kind of just because they want to have a big
gross no. No, no, that's not what I'm
saying. Well, that is what I'm saying.
I'm saying that some like sometimes if if it's nap time
for grandma and you want to havea big gross mode or moment, it
may not be the right moment. OK, that's also a good point.
(24:47):
But what I want, what I'm leading up to, is like, if your
child is obviously being destructive or something, you
have to intervene in and stop that behavior and redirect them.
But sometimes those big movements and that chaotic
environment is actually your child very purposefully
completing a creative project. And I witnessed this a lot with
(25:09):
our children. You know, the behaviors that I
thought were like random and hadnothing to do with each other.
And then eventually, if I just sat with it and waited long
enough and watched them engaged in this immersive focused play,
then what resulted was often like an amazing creative project
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or the completion of a project. And this project might be
something like, I think one timeI remember being completely
kerfuffled as to what they were doing for a good 45 minutes.
And then they came up to me and they're like, we're ready.
And I was like, ready for what? And they're like, for us to have
(25:54):
a circus show for you. And it was like, what?
And they're like, yes, we've been practicing and we've set up
all the things and come look. And I went downstairs and was
like, oh, wow. Like we had gone to a circus a
few weeks ago and then not talked about it for the next
three weeks. And then here like, like they
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had come up with like their own project and they had arranged
everything and, and then I was just delighted as they jumped
through hoops and did all these little acrobatic tricks.
I love that story it. Is yeah it like it can be
unexpected? What?
Happens and what I like about your story too is we've been
talking about I gave some examples of Bill let the gross
(26:36):
motor chaos overwhelm. But actually that's actually
easier in some sense than to notlet the quietude confuse you
either. Sometimes we think children are
bored. Oh yeah.
Sometimes we think that we so wehave to like entertain them.
Right, completely the opposite. Your child might just be sitting
(26:56):
there, just like with the sand, sand in the sandbox for like a
whole hour, just sitting when you're like, they must be bored
out of their minds. They're not actually doing
anything with the sand. I've got to do something
educational to, you know, just show them what to do with the
sand. Yeah.
But actually what you're seeing there is that Maria talks about
(27:17):
like when you see the child really that's that three period,
the three hour block, right whenthey're really zoning in on
work, they get very focused, very quiet.
So what you are looking for in your child is that and what
you're going to be doing throughyour intentional focus time is
looking for those little signs. What are you seeing them
(27:39):
actually do when they're being quiet?
It's kind of a joke, like, oh, they're being quiet.
There must be mischief happening.
I mean, how many times have we all thought that like, oh, the
kids are too quiet. There's something happening and
there is always something happening.
And it's not usually something bad.
It just means they're really engrossed in their work.
(27:59):
And this is a great time to go and intentionally observe and be
looking very closely at exactly what they're doing.
And that will give you clues as to what they're ready for.
They're showing you clues as to their level of success with the
skill. That's right.
So you're intentional in that you are going to observe, you're
(28:23):
focused and you're not being distracted by other things.
You also need to be quiet, and quiet is the third quality of
good observation. So a lot of a lot of traditional
teachers, especially if you've been raised in a traditional
educational environment, you might have the idea of the
(28:43):
teacher who's always talking teacher, you know, and if you
are actually quiet, you're not doing your job.
We talked about a little bit about that at the very
beginning. This is kind of part of it.
You know, we have trained ourselves to believe that we
need to have a stream of consciousness, verbalization,
(29:04):
everything that our child is doing.
You know, we're, we're actually taught like that.
You know, there's just like a lot of, there's just a, a media
push for like we've got to increase children's vocabulary
and what's wrong? Parents aren't talking to them
enough. It always comes down to like,
it's always the fault of the parents, right?
Or for not talking enough, for not doing something enough.
(29:25):
And this is one of the things that I was concerned about as a
stay at home mom of 2 little kids during the day, was
constantly thinking to myself, am I talking too much?
Am I not talking enough? You know, it's, I've got to have
the right balance. They've got to have the
vocabulary. And so I should, you know, the,
all the research is saying you should talk to your children,
(29:46):
talk to your babies constantly, talk to your toddlers
constantly. And it's true.
Babies and toddlers and little children like we, they need,
their vocabulary is going to be based on yours.
If you're not engaging with themand communication and you're not
giving them the, you know, vocabulary words to describe
their world like we do in Montessori, then yeah, they're
(30:09):
not going to learn them. But if you are constantly
talking in their ear, they can'tconcentrate.
And so as a Montessori and as a Montessori guide, you have to
train yourself to be comfortablein the quiet, and that's hard
for a lot of people. It is.
(30:30):
And this is, excuse me, this is especially true, I think, when
they're in that first stage of development because I think a
lot of times when we want to, wegive lessons to our children who
are, let's say 3 or 4. We want to.
It's my habit as well. You want to talk through the
activity with them. That is not the way you do it
(30:52):
when they're little. It's really almost silent.
You're really just modeling the action.
So that quiet too that we're talking about is something that
is part of your teaching approach.
It's also a part of that specific part of the teaching
approach, which we call observation, right?
So you are quietly focusing in on what's happening.
(31:17):
You're not trying to redirect them, think you're seeing where
things go unless it's causing a problem like we talked about
before. But if at all possible, you're
letting things play out as they do, without commenting, without
redirecting, without trying to teach.
Letting, remembering, remembering, remembering.
(31:38):
The learning is happening and here in your child it's not
happening because of something you're doing specifically.
Like other than creating the environment, giving them a
loving environment, giving them a good diet of academic and
emotional things to grapple with, the learning happens in
here, right? Not from whatever you're saying.
(32:01):
It has to be from the processing.
And when we are constantly yammering, it blocks that.
It becomes just a lot of noise. So being quiet is better for
them, and it's for the learning.It's better for you for the
observation. Yeah, you know, I have to say
some of us are just prone to yammering more than others.
(32:23):
We could talk about ADHD, but I think it it happens, you know,
with a variety of personalities.Some of us are just more verbal
and. Some of us talk out loud while
we're thinking or we are like, Imean.
Yeah, we're interrupt each other.
David and I are both big talkers.
And so I will just tell you thisis something that you can train
(32:45):
yourself to do and it probably will feel uncomfortable for for
most of you. You know, we live in a verbal
society, like we're encouraged to communicate with each other.
That was the whole problem with the the lockdowns was like, we
were encouraged not to communicate with each other.
And it just, it's just not humanlike to, to want to do that.
(33:07):
We want to be social and we wantto bond.
And yes, it's OK to talk to yourchild, but when you are
observing and you're intentionaland you're focused, this is not
the time to engage your child ina conversation about something
or to teach vocabulary. This is a time for you to be
quiet. And yes, it's going to feel
weird. It's going to feel like you're
(33:29):
being lazy or you're, you're like not educating your kid.
It's going to feel, it's going to feel weird like that.
And it may even feel if you're the kind of person who wants to
constantly be listening to noise, not naming anybody for
like having the earbuds and all the time.
(33:50):
But like, if that's you like constantly meaning to listen to
something, then it's the silenceis going to feel a little scary
And but it is something that youcan train your mind to be more
aligned with, especially if you're doing it for your child.
But you are. And it will also have also
(34:10):
unexpected benefits for you as well.
Because you know, this is just mindfulness, You know, friends,
this is a kind of mindful meditation.
So if you're familiar with mindful meditation, just being
present in in the moment, that is what we're trying to do here.
And that brings us to the fourthpoint, which is also actually
(34:31):
part of mindful meditation, which a lot of people don't know
about. That is like opening your mind
to be curious about what's happening to your child and
taking your ego out of it. Yeah, you're not looking for an
outcome that's predetermined, right?
You're watching what your child is doing and following your
(34:52):
child to see where they want to go.
When we start from a set of assumptions or desired outcome,
we're going to be looking for those particular behaviors.
And when we don't see them, we're going to think, I failed,
they failed, something's not working.
That's not healthy or even accurate.
(35:13):
You want to start with that curious, open minded spirit and
see what's happening. And This is why you have to have
those other components too. You have to be intentional.
You have to be focused, you haveto be quiet.
And through that you'll allow yourself to see where things are
going. You know, it's interesting.
I was thinking about just you talked about like as a spiritual
(35:35):
practice. It's, it is true.
There's so much in common between spiritual practices and
learning. They're super tied together.
It's also true that the observation techniques that
we're teaching you here, these four are exactly the same
qualities you want to see in your child during good learning.
They are being intentional. They're really hyper focused in
(35:58):
on something. They're carefully observing and
watching, and they're curious. They're able to quiet their
minds. Yeah.
So the same qualities that are amarker of a good engaging
learning moment for your child, but the same qualities that
you're wanting to emulate if youwant to do good observation.
And again, when you're doing that observation, you're looking
(36:20):
for not just where they are, buthow they're progressing.
And then you're using that to sort of design an environment
that helps them to the next step.
That's where you intervene, right?
So your actions do the talking, so to speak.
You're seeing what's happening with your child through these 4
using these processes. And then you're saying, you know
what, I'm going to try that movable alphabet again.
(36:43):
Let's see what happens. They weren't interested when I
tried it last month. Let's try it again.
Because what I'm seeing now is alot of playing with language.
Or they're trying. They're doing a lot of pretend
reading. Or I'm seeing these signs of
curiosity or readiness. Or I saw them go dig out the
tiles and try and use them. And because I was watching
(37:03):
closely, I realized they weren'ttrying to make a little house.
They were actually trying to spell words.
Yes, so go out in the world and try these four things and see if
they help you to get closer to that Montessori guide spirit
that we're helping to coax you towards in every single episode
(37:25):
of the Power Out. Well, of course we are all
unique individuals and that means that some observation
techniques, even though those 4 qualities are still going to be
present sometimes some techniques work better for some
people than others. Yeah, some of us are better at
being quiet than others. I'm not particularly good at
(37:48):
quiet, dude. You might be able to tell, but
for sure your personality will direct the kind of homeschooler
you are. And it's great, actually.
The key is not to conform yourself to the one specific
thing. It's to figure out what your
strengths are, who you are as a person, your true self, and then
(38:10):
find your homeschool rhythm and routine that best matches to
that. And if you do that, you're going
to have a lot more fun. You're going to be a lot more
successful. You're going to stick with the
homeschooling routine. It's just a win win all around.
It's know thyself, the old saying.
It is, yes. So this actually comes, this is
(38:32):
actually important because we'vejust released a new quiz on our
website. It's called the What Kind of
Homeschooler are you quiz or theFind Your Homeschooling
Superpower quiz, whatever we want to call it.
We have identified 4 different types of homeschoolers that are
out there in the world. And I'll give you a hint, we're
all kind of a little part of every every single time.
(38:56):
But I have found that some of usalign more with the kind of
explorer adventure seeking type.Some of us are more homebodies.
Some of us are find it easier tobe more flexible with the lesson
planning and the schedules. And some of us feel, I don't
(39:18):
know, you know, feel weird and untethered without like an idea
of what's happening and the ability to like, dig into some
research about. People have been having a lot of
fun with this quiz. We've gotten a lot of comments
and feedback. You can take it yourself for
free at childoftheredwoods.com/quiz and
(39:40):
we'd love to know if you think it hits the mark or not.
I think most people are are pretty pleased with the outcome.
Somebody messaged me the other day.
It was like, I don't know how you did it, but like, that is
exactly me. So I'm very curious, please
write me back and let me know what kind of homeschooler you
are. If you take the quiz is
childoftheredwoods.com/quiz. Now, there are four kinds of
(40:03):
homeschoolers that we have identified in our quiz.
Again, you will be a blend for sure.
If you take the test more than once, you might get two
different answers. That's because no one is just
one kind of thing. The goal of the quiz is to kind
of help you get a better sense of who you are and then kind of
embrace that. And that is also true when it
comes to embracing your personality type as an observer.
(40:24):
So we have our four kinds, and we've been thinking about
specific techniques that you might use if you're this kind.
So if you haven't taken the quizyet, head over there and do it,
and then you can come back and watch this part or take some
notes and then you'll find out. And if you have taken the quiz,
get ready to find out what kind of observation techniques you
might find most compelling. OK, let's talk about adventure
(40:46):
seekers first. The first kind of personality.
So this is the person who's always looking for a new
adventure. This is the adventure seeker.
Neither one of us. Are you an adventure seeker?
I'm not. Yes, you are.
I guess I am. Yeah, they.
Yeah, you're very much an adventure seeker.
That's true. Yeah.
When we were homeschooling our little kids, like I used to
(41:09):
complain about it almost. I'm such a homebody that every
single weekend you were like, let's go here, let's take a trip
to this place, let's go explore this.
We were just like constantly exploring.
And then on Monday you would go back to the office and I'd be
like, Oh my gosh, so much laundry like take Monday is like
(41:32):
my weekend day to try and get ittogether because we did so much
on the weekend. Fair enough, fair enough.
Yes. So no total adventure seeker,
but this if you're an adventure seeker and I actually know
several real life homeschoolers that you know, I I just
absolutely love totally different from my my type of
(41:54):
personality. These are the kind of
homeschoolers that are always looking for field trips, you
know, places to go, events, you know, play groups.
Like they are probably, you know, if if you aren't one, you
probably know one because they're like constantly.
And we're just not just talking about extroverts.
We're talking about people who just really want to be
(42:14):
constantly having new experiences in the world.
This is what really gives them that dopamine rush.
It's like going to a new museum or seeing a new experience or Oh
my gosh, we toured the Jelly Belly factory.
That's not something I would ever think of to do.
But one of my homeschool friendswas like, I'm organizing a tour
of the Jelly Belly factory. Very close.
(42:35):
We're all going to go. And it's like, okay, so yeah, we
made the trip down there. There are a lot of people here
who are like constantly wanting to sign up for all the camping
trips in the summer. Like if you're an adventure
seeker, you probably know it. I recommend because you you
might not be spending that much time at home because you're
(42:56):
constantly out and about wantingto do new things that you do a
lot of you're observing while your child is in the world.
You can look for these little hidden moments when your child's
engaging. So they're at the Jelly Belly
factory. You're wandering through your
child just like stops and becomes immersed in focus.
(43:18):
Watching the gears turn is the little Jelly beans go down the
track. That's your moment to observe,
you know, when your child is is showing that focus or that
interest. And maybe they turn to you and
they're like, look, this connects to this and that makes
the wheel turn and then the the worker comes in, picks up the
(43:40):
box, you know, and puts it into another machine.
Like not all children are going to be interested in all
educational or. We're going to get the same
thing out of that same event. No, but when you see that your
child is having a moment no matter where you are, that is
(44:01):
your opportunity to observe their interaction with their
environment. Yep.
So you're going to play spot theSpark if you're out in the
world. OK, Now the second kind of
homeschooler is the free spirit.I think this is definitely
something that you would feel Sabatico with.
(44:24):
Sabatico. You're a free spirit and nature
lover. So you're kind of what is this
version? This version is sort of ready to
go wherever the wind blows. So what kinds of things might
you do? So one.
Observation. Yeah, like, well, go ahead.
Yeah. I mean, I, I think that there's
(44:44):
kind of a difference between adventuring and just being a
free spirit in mindset for sure.You know, the adventurer, we're
looking to create something for whatever reason and like
whatever it is that motivates us, we're wanting something new.
I think for the free spirit in my mind they're taking the world
(45:07):
as a cops and if that requires them to go to the Jelly Belly
factory, they'll do it whether they want to or not.
I don't know about that maybe, but my that's personal
experience, I can tell. I enjoyed it, I'm sure you did.
(45:30):
Yeah, I've been a couple times, I think.
I have. I have.
I did take you a few times. You did?
Yeah, I definitely went with with the homeschool group as
well. Yeah.
All right. So, yeah, that must be why I've
been several times. Same.
Jelly Belly factory. So no free spirits.
Find it really easy to let the plans go out the window when the
(45:53):
moment arises. So if that's you, you're already
there and it doesn't really matter whether you're at home
not following your lesson plans or whether you're out on a
nature walk not following your lesson plans.
Great activity for you and you're observing is if you are
going for that walk outside, youhave to be outside.
Then you try playing the listening game, like listening
(46:16):
for what your child is saying, listening for what's around you,
watching your child and observing the the things that
capture your child's attention, you know, that are out and about
in the world. So just paying more attention
really to like your ears and what you're hearing is going on
as well, just like one sense. Yeah.
(46:38):
OK, so the third kind we call the old soul.
So this is the cozy type, I think.
That. It is you're the free spirit
slash old soul. And so an old soul, you know, I
think of stuffies and tea parties.
It's a real kind of snugly cozy kind of approach.
So this type, an observation technique we might suggest is
(47:02):
the one sentence reflection at the end of the day.
So after the day is done, it's taking time to think back on
what your child did or what you and your child did together and
shutting it down. It could be just one moment you
observed or something new that you saw.
Maybe something new that you sawby playing the Spot the Spark or
(47:23):
listening walk or something else, or just something that
happened and it moves you. And making a note of that will
help kind of put it into your mind and lead you to reflection.
I think it's a good technique for the site.
You loved a journal, and I thinkyour old soul personality speaks
to that. Yeah, I would my recommendation,
if you are an old soul and you feel like you're going to lean
(47:45):
into the journaling type of observation, get yourself a pen
that you love, like maybe a set of of colored pens.
Lean into like that nostalgic spirit.
Do some doodling on your notebook as well and like pick a
pretty journal. You know, I, I really love
passing by those fancy notebook stores.
(48:07):
Sometimes you see things on sale.
Yeah. Whatever.
I know just like pretty pretty notebooks, whatever makes you
feel good. So don't feel like you have to
stick with just the print print out observation templates,
although those are a great placeto start.
Like really lean into what makesyou feel most romantic and that
(48:30):
nostalgic kind of old schooly type of side of you.
Now this of course doesn't mean that we adventure seekers would
not like to journal. Well, it actually.
Maybe the old soul part of you also likes to journal.
Unfortunately I don't really have an old soul part.
What I have is a sport type which is the scholar.
So where the type who loved to crack open a good book as often
(48:54):
as possible. So those are differently my two
types, Adventure Seeker and old.Installer.
I mean, why? Why else would you be obsessed
with watching Buster Keaton if they're really like a piece of
you that was like old soul? Well, we could talk about Buster
Keaton if you want, but part of it for me is, you know, the film
(49:16):
history. Yeah.
So he's also awesome. And if you've never shown your
children classic silent comedies, you should do it.
They are lots of fun. Our kids I loved.
I was a big, I'm a big Buster Keaton fan.
He's my favorite. Charlie Chaplin, of course.
(49:37):
And especially youngsters, they love it.
It's a great way to kind of get them interested in the film
history and classic comedy and things.
Like that it's it's a great way to help your child develop some
focus and concentration because if you are going to expose them
to TV media, what they're probably exposed to 1st is like
(49:58):
the Peppa Pig style, you know where it's like one scene, next
scene, next scene, next scene isjust constantly flipping.
Music Dialogue. Color, Color, Color, color.
When you're watching a silent film and our children loved it,
it really requires you to focus for longer periods on stretches
(50:18):
where the characters are are giving lots of different
emotions and that lots of actionis happening, but not a whole
lot is being explained. It's all like visual
interpretation. It's very, very cool.
Yeah, there's the interstitials,but even if you're child can't
read those, they're designed to be.
They created them to be understood.
(50:39):
OK, we'll have a whole episode just to silent film.
So the 4th is the scholar and you'll know if you're a scholar
and there is also a part of me the scholar.
If you really love opening up Maria Montessori's books and
like studying them for real. Like not everyone loves that
friends. But if that kind of research or
like you're the kind of person who's like, I want to know every
(51:02):
every thing about my child's developmental stage at 18
months, you know, like that is very, very scholarly in
personality. So if you're the kind of person
who is like a scholar by nature and you really love the research
and you love reading, like some people, I know all the
scientific studies that have ever been written about a
(51:24):
certain medication or you know, particular kind of, I don't know
any of that. You know who you are.
Here's what you're going to do. You are going to take on the
role of Maria Montessori and youare going to set up an
invitation for your child to do an activity without expectation
and you're just going to sit andwatch what happens.
(51:46):
Now, we've already talked to youabout the good qualities of
observation. So obviously you're not going to
set it up in front of your childand then hover over them while
while they, you know, try and engage with the activity with
you watching. No, you're going to play it
cool. You're going to do your laundry,
you're going to do your knitting, You're just going to
like present something and thereit is.
(52:06):
And then no lesson. You're just going to see what
happens. And Maria Montessori did this
with every single material that is a classic Montessori
material. The only thing, the only
instruction that she gave the teacher the guide in her
classroom to do was just to like, model the basics of it.
You know, so fits the knob cylinders, like take the
(52:27):
cylinders out, put them back in,right?
Like that's it, right? No fancy lesson, just like just
model what it does once and thenput it back on the shelf and
then see what happens, you know?And so it's the see what happens
part that's the interesting partto you.
So if you're a scholar, you're going to just set on a material.
(52:47):
And I would even say like even if it's a material you already
have on the shelf, this is a great technique for you.
Get out that pink tower. But instead of like, it's
sitting where it usually sits, put it on a rug and like, just
like, display it on a basket instead or on a rug or vertical,
like horizontal instead of vertical.
(53:08):
A new presentation, just like here it is on a rug.
And then just like, left there for the morning.
Like, I don't know, Is this a big tower?
Yeah, nothing. And it's also nothing on your
ego. But then you're just going to
see what happens and you'll makenotes.
Yeah, that's exactly right. Now, if you would like to figure
out which of these techniques will work best for you, the
(53:31):
answer is all of them. They're all great techniques,
but if you would like to match them to your personality type,
head over to our website, childtheredwoods.com quiz and
take the quiz. And then come back and take your
results and figure out which of these techniques we might
suggest and give it a shot. We'd love to know how it
matches. When you take the quiz, you'll
(53:51):
get results that will give you some insight into how you can
use your primary home school superpower to your biggest
advantage when teaching your child.
That's right. All right.
Well, we are about out of time. You can't stop without Bunny OH.
We cannot, we cannot stop without Bunny.
But we do have to go very soon. Well, all right, I'll just come
(54:15):
by and say hello to everybody who's out there.
I know we have some fans. Hi.
I know everybody appreciates that, Mister Bunny.
Yeah, yeah, I want you to tell me a joke today.
Oh, I can never remember any Mr.Bunny.
Let's see, you cannot do this to.
(54:40):
Me. Why?
What, you can't think of a joke?Well, good news.
I've got one at the ready. Oh.
My goodness. And you didn't make me worry.
Oh boy. Well, Mr. Bunny, I would love to
hear your joke. Yeah, next time I'm happy to
prepare one for you ahead of time.
(55:00):
Yeah, guess what? You know which month is the
Army's favorite? What month is the Army's
favorite? Yeah, it's March.
Because they March. Yeah, that's right.
See, you get it. Jokes don't have to be good,
they just have to be fun. Yay.
That is true. Thank you, Mr. Bunny.
(55:22):
Hold on, wait, I have a joke from the audience.
You do. Oh my.
Goodness, did Theo give us a joke?
How many tickles does it take tomake an octopus laugh?
How many tickles does it take tomake an octopus laugh?
10 tickles. 10 tickles. Yeah, that's a good one.
(55:46):
Very good. Thank you.
Theo, that is really good. Thank you so much.
That was very good, Theo. Bye.
That was a good one. Thank you so much.
I'm sure Mr. Bunny had a good time as well.
That's a very good joke. I like that one a lot.
Thank you, Theo. All right, if you'd like to know
more about our work, you can head over to our website,
(56:07):
childoftheredwoods.com. Remember about our free quiz?
It's a lot of fun and we will see you in two weeks.
We won't have a show next week, but we will have one in two
weeks where we're going to wrap up our series on Montessori Road
map all. Right.
Thanks a lot friends. See you next time.
Bye.