How a commitment to personal freedom is gutting Christian parenting [Ep 103]

A while back my wife and I were talking about absolutes...

As we sat over coffee at our favorite local hangout (my favorite drink is a "Honey Badger," with a little extra "badger" - you should try one), we were trying to soak in the blessings God has poured out on our lives. We both teared up at times (which happens when you realize how much you don't deserve all the goodness you get from God).

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We were wondering at the fact that so many in the new generation of parents seem to be put off by absolutes.

We hear it often in statements like these...

I want to parent in a way that encourages my child to take charge of their life.

I don't want to require things of my kids, I want them to discover it for themselves.

I want my kids to be free to chose their own path.

On the surface all of these statements have some elements of truth to them. I have no problem there.

But stated in those ways, each of them communicates what I believe is an underlying belief system - that personal freedom is of the utmost value. And that's a poisonous contention that is quickly gutting Christian parenting of its effectiveness.

Freedom is a great blessing God has given to us as humans... but it has its limits.

In my years as a pastor I was often asked what I thought about the issue of "free will." It's a sort of hotbed issue for many who enjoy the intellectual challenge of understanding deep things.

My answer was seldom satisfactory for most people who asked, but it's one I've come to over many years of watching the impact both sides of the debate have had on the real lives of people.

My response to the question?

I believe people have "free will," but only within the limits of what they are as creatures.

Simply, that means that God remains God. He gets to choose everything that happens, and He does. Our freedom operates within that, underneath that, never outside it.

So, are we responsible for the choices we make? Absolutely. But over and above that choice is God, working all things together for our good and His glory.

How does this gut Christian parenting of its effectiveness?

When parents put emphasis on teaching their children that they are free to choose, to act, to determine their own destiny, they are doing a good thing. Those are important realizations for anyone to come to.

But if they do so to a greater degree than they focus on the fact that