October 25, 2024 • 9 mins
Last week, I gave one of the lightning talks at Stoicon 2024. The topic: How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism.
Want to see the video? Head to my Substack 👉 Citizens of the World
Thanks for listening ❤️
sarahmikutel.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome.
I am so happy to be speaking toyou again and to share what I
shared at the 2024 Stoicon.
So, stoicon is an annualStoicism conference put on by
the Modern Stoicism Organization, and they have a lot of
(00:21):
academic people who talk atthese conferences.
But my favorite part is whatthey call the lightning round,
where people talk about how theyare incorporating stoicism into
their own life, whether it'sjust them as an individual in
the work that they do.
It's fascinating.
People told such good stories.
(00:43):
This year I was asked tocontribute one, which was really
exciting, so I gave a lightningtalk on how to combat speaking
anxiety with stoicism, showingup as who we really are and
sharing parts of ourselvesinstead of holding back.
(01:05):
You know, a lot of people Iwork with are excellent
listeners, but they're notalways the best contributors.
So how can we move past that?
Because part of our role inthis world is to contribute.
So I love stoicism.
Well, maybe I should just jumpinto.
Maybe I should just jump rightinto the talk, and these
(01:31):
lightning talks are quick, hencethe name, so they're about five
to six minutes and that's whatmine was.
So I'm just going to jump rightinto it and I this was a video
and there are some slides.
So if you're interested inactually watching the video, you
can check out my sub stack andI will put a link in the episode
(01:52):
notes.
All right, enjoy.
Hi, I'm Sarah Micatel and I'm acommunication and mindset coach
for introverts, and today I'mgoing to share how I use
stoicism to help my clientsreduce their public speaking
anxiety and become more calm,confident communicators.
So if you've ever felt nervouspresenting in meetings or
voicing your ideas in groups,this presentation is for you,
(02:16):
and I could talk aboutcommunication and stoicism all
day, but we only have about fiveminutes together.
So I'm going to focus on threekey areas One, understanding
public speaking anxiety.
Two, stoic strategies to manageanxiety.
And three, applying role,ethics and communication.
So let's start with why we feelanxious when speaking publicly,
(02:39):
and we'll use an example.
So imagine Michelle is a brightand dedicated professional.
She spent hours preparing forher presentation, so she really
knows her material and she has agreat rapport with her
colleagues.
But as she stands in front ofthe room before the meeting
begins, her heart races, shefeels shaky and panic really
(03:01):
starts to set in.
These immediate, involuntarysensations are completely
natural and, as we Stoics know,they're not up to Michelle.
Her fight or flight response iskicking in to keep her safe,
even though she's not in anyreal danger.
So if Michelle were my client,I would guide her to take deep
(03:24):
belly breaths, to slow down herbreathing, relax her body and
stand in a position that feelsgrounded and stable and, most
importantly, to accept what'shappening instead of resisting
it.
Michelle can remind herself mybody is reacting as if I'm in
danger, but I'm not.
I'm safe, I'm prepared.
(03:47):
By challenging the falseimpression that she's in a high
stakes threatening situation,michelle can begin to calm her
mind and her body.
Now, let's say this anxietystems from the belief that
Michelle has to be perfect oreveryone's going to judge her.
Here's where stoic reasoningcan help.
So a thought pops intoMichelle's mind If my
(04:08):
presentation isn't perfect,they're going to think I'm
incompetent.
She starts to feel anxious, butthen she pauses and evaluates
this impression.
Does the presentation need tobe flawless to be valuable?
No, her colleagues are muchmore interested in her insights
and her effort than anypotential imperfections.
Plus, she's prepared well andshe knows her material.
(04:31):
So Michelle chooses not toassent to the impression that
her presentation must be perfector she'll be judged.
Instead, she reminds herselfI'm here to contribute and share
my work, not to have to impresseveryone with a flawless
performance.
So her focus shifts todelivering her message clearly
and authentically.
(04:51):
And based on this rationalreflection, instead of running
away, michelle steps forward andpresents with more equanimity.
She uses hand gestures toarticulate her points and also
to give her adrenaline a way toescape, and she focuses on
connection instead of perfection.
Now let's talk about thepremeditation of adversity, and
(05:12):
this is the stoic practice ofmentally preparing for obstacles
.
So before her presentation,michelle can mentally prepare by
visualizing how she would useher rational mind to respond to
potential setbacks.
So she can do things likepractice accepting nerves as
just natural physical sensationsthat she can simply allow.
(05:34):
These come up when we careabout something that's important
to us.
She can practice responding toa question she doesn't know with
a plan to follow up, addressingtechnical issues with humor,
challenging unhelpful thoughtswith more useful ones.
There's lots of things that shecan visualize before her
meeting.
And by visualizing rationalresponses to challenges,
(05:57):
michelle increases her emotionalresilience and also her stress
tolerance, and this allows herto face her fears with more
poise and more equanimity.
And she can also imagine hercolleagues responding positively
to her presentation and feel asense of stoic joy that she
showed up with courage andintegrity.
(06:18):
Now let's talk about role,ethics and how to align your
actions with your identity andyour values.
So Michelle realizes that partof her role as a colleague and
team member is to share herinsights and participate, even
when it's uncomfortable.
It's not about performing forothers or having to prove
herself.
It's about contributing to theteam and connecting
(06:39):
authentically.
Speaking Up isn't a performancereview.
It's about collaboration andadding value, and this idea ties
into what Epictetus said aboutthe nervous liar player.
Epictetus explained that it'snot the act of playing the liar
that was causing anxiety, butthe belief that the audience's
judgment determines one's worth.
(07:02):
Michelle's fear of presentingcomes from a similar
misconception that her valuedepends on external validation
rather than her own virtues andefforts.
And in Stoicism, we know thatvirtue is the only good and vice
is the only true bad andeverything else.
Praise, criticism, success,failure they are all
(07:24):
indifference, because it doesn'tdefine who we are at our core.
So Michelle has been wronglyvaluing external praise as good
and fearing criticism as bad,and this was making her overly
anxious about how othersperceive her.
Instead, she's starting tolearn to value the virtue of
contributing her knowledge andsupporting her team and
(07:48):
fulfilling her role.
And this is the true measure ofsuccess, not whether she
receives praise or avoidscriticism, but it's about
developing her character andbeing a good person.
By challenging her falseimpressions and properly
categorizing what is good, badand indifferent, michelle can
shift her focus from seekingapproval to fulfilling her role
(08:11):
with integrity.
She can remind herself that herworth is not determined by
others' opinions, but by hercommitment to acting with
courage and contributing to thegreater good.
Thank you so much for your timeand attention today.
I love meeting fellow Stoics,so if you would like to connect,
you can find me atstoicwellbeingcom or
(08:34):
sarahmigatelcom.
You can visit me on Instagramat sarahmigatel, or you can
listen to the Citizens of theWorld podcast.
So that was my lightning talkfor the 2024 Stoicon event.
I hope you enjoyed it.
I hope you got something out ofit and again, if you want to
watch the video, you can head onover to my Substack page.
(08:56):
That's all for now.
Thank you so much for listeningand have a beautiful week
wherever you are.
Welcome.
I am so happy to be speaking toyou again and to share what I
shared at the 2024 Stoicon.
So, stoicon is an annualStoicism conference put on by
the Modern Stoicism Organization, and they have a lot of
(00:21):
academic people who talk atthese conferences.
But my favorite part is whatthey call the lightning round,
where people talk about how theyare incorporating stoicism into
their own life, whether it'sjust them as an individual in
the work that they do.
It's fascinating.
People told such good stories.
(00:43):
This year I was asked tocontribute one, which was really
exciting, so I gave a lightningtalk on how to combat speaking
anxiety with stoicism, showingup as who we really are and
sharing parts of ourselvesinstead of holding back.
(01:05):
You know, a lot of people Iwork with are excellent
listeners, but they're notalways the best contributors.
So how can we move past that?
Because part of our role inthis world is to contribute.
So I love stoicism.
Well, maybe I should just jumpinto.
Maybe I should just jump rightinto the talk, and these
(01:31):
lightning talks are quick, hencethe name, so they're about five
to six minutes and that's whatmine was.
So I'm just going to jump rightinto it and I this was a video
and there are some slides.
So if you're interested inactually watching the video, you
can check out my sub stack andI will put a link in the episode
(01:52):
notes.
All right, enjoy.
Hi, I'm Sarah Micatel and I'm acommunication and mindset coach
for introverts, and today I'mgoing to share how I use
stoicism to help my clientsreduce their public speaking
anxiety and become more calm,confident communicators.
So if you've ever felt nervouspresenting in meetings or
voicing your ideas in groups,this presentation is for you,
(02:16):
and I could talk aboutcommunication and stoicism all
day, but we only have about fiveminutes together.
So I'm going to focus on threekey areas One, understanding
public speaking anxiety.
Two, stoic strategies to manageanxiety.
And three, applying role,ethics and communication.
So let's start with why we feelanxious when speaking publicly,
(02:39):
and we'll use an example.
So imagine Michelle is a brightand dedicated professional.
She spent hours preparing forher presentation, so she really
knows her material and she has agreat rapport with her
colleagues.
But as she stands in front ofthe room before the meeting
begins, her heart races, shefeels shaky and panic really
(03:01):
starts to set in.
These immediate, involuntarysensations are completely
natural and, as we Stoics know,they're not up to Michelle.
Her fight or flight response iskicking in to keep her safe,
even though she's not in anyreal danger.
So if Michelle were my client,I would guide her to take deep
(03:24):
belly breaths, to slow down herbreathing, relax her body and
stand in a position that feelsgrounded and stable and, most
importantly, to accept what'shappening instead of resisting
it.
Michelle can remind herself mybody is reacting as if I'm in
danger, but I'm not.
I'm safe, I'm prepared.
(03:47):
By challenging the falseimpression that she's in a high
stakes threatening situation,michelle can begin to calm her
mind and her body.
Now, let's say this anxietystems from the belief that
Michelle has to be perfect oreveryone's going to judge her.
Here's where stoic reasoningcan help.
So a thought pops intoMichelle's mind If my
(04:08):
presentation isn't perfect,they're going to think I'm
incompetent.
She starts to feel anxious, butthen she pauses and evaluates
this impression.
Does the presentation need tobe flawless to be valuable?
No, her colleagues are muchmore interested in her insights
and her effort than anypotential imperfections.
Plus, she's prepared well andshe knows her material.
(04:31):
So Michelle chooses not toassent to the impression that
her presentation must be perfector she'll be judged.
Instead, she reminds herselfI'm here to contribute and share
my work, not to have to impresseveryone with a flawless
performance.
So her focus shifts todelivering her message clearly
and authentically.
(04:51):
And based on this rationalreflection, instead of running
away, michelle steps forward andpresents with more equanimity.
She uses hand gestures toarticulate her points and also
to give her adrenaline a way toescape, and she focuses on
connection instead of perfection.
Now let's talk about thepremeditation of adversity, and
(05:12):
this is the stoic practice ofmentally preparing for obstacles
.
So before her presentation,michelle can mentally prepare by
visualizing how she would useher rational mind to respond to
potential setbacks.
So she can do things likepractice accepting nerves as
just natural physical sensationsthat she can simply allow.
(05:34):
These come up when we careabout something that's important
to us.
She can practice responding toa question she doesn't know with
a plan to follow up, addressingtechnical issues with humor,
challenging unhelpful thoughtswith more useful ones.
There's lots of things that shecan visualize before her
meeting.
And by visualizing rationalresponses to challenges,
(05:57):
michelle increases her emotionalresilience and also her stress
tolerance, and this allows herto face her fears with more
poise and more equanimity.
And she can also imagine hercolleagues responding positively
to her presentation and feel asense of stoic joy that she
showed up with courage andintegrity.
(06:18):
Now let's talk about role,ethics and how to align your
actions with your identity andyour values.
So Michelle realizes that partof her role as a colleague and
team member is to share herinsights and participate, even
when it's uncomfortable.
It's not about performing forothers or having to prove
herself.
It's about contributing to theteam and connecting
(06:39):
authentically.
Speaking Up isn't a performancereview.
It's about collaboration andadding value, and this idea ties
into what Epictetus said aboutthe nervous liar player.
Epictetus explained that it'snot the act of playing the liar
that was causing anxiety, butthe belief that the audience's
judgment determines one's worth.
(07:02):
Michelle's fear of presentingcomes from a similar
misconception that her valuedepends on external validation
rather than her own virtues andefforts.
And in Stoicism, we know thatvirtue is the only good and vice
is the only true bad andeverything else.
Praise, criticism, success,failure they are all
(07:24):
indifference, because it doesn'tdefine who we are at our core.
So Michelle has been wronglyvaluing external praise as good
and fearing criticism as bad,and this was making her overly
anxious about how othersperceive her.
Instead, she's starting tolearn to value the virtue of
contributing her knowledge andsupporting her team and
(07:48):
fulfilling her role.
And this is the true measure ofsuccess, not whether she
receives praise or avoidscriticism, but it's about
developing her character andbeing a good person.
By challenging her falseimpressions and properly
categorizing what is good, badand indifferent, michelle can
shift her focus from seekingapproval to fulfilling her role
(08:11):
with integrity.
She can remind herself that herworth is not determined by
others' opinions, but by hercommitment to acting with
courage and contributing to thegreater good.
Thank you so much for your timeand attention today.
I love meeting fellow Stoics,so if you would like to connect,
you can find me atstoicwellbeingcom or
(08:34):
sarahmigatelcom.
You can visit me on Instagramat sarahmigatel, or you can
listen to the Citizens of theWorld podcast.
So that was my lightning talkfor the 2024 Stoicon event.
I hope you enjoyed it.
I hope you got something out ofit and again, if you want to
watch the video, you can head onover to my Substack page.
(08:56):
That's all for now.
Thank you so much for listeningand have a beautiful week
wherever you are.
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