When ‘No Filter’ Is Just Lazy (and Sometimes Immoral)

Being blunt isn’t the same as being brave. In a culture that idolizes people who “say whatever they think,” we’ve started confusing impulsiveness for honesty, and arrogance for authenticity.

But unfiltered speech isn’t just lazy. Sometimes, it’s harmful.

In this episode, I explore the difference between courage and carelessness, and how to practice mindful communication without losing your voice or your values. 

Read the article.

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I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen your relationships, and have more fun.

As an American expat living in the U.K., I value curiosity, courage, and joy. A few things I love: wandering European streets in search of the best vegetarian meal, practicing Italian, and helping my clients design lives that feel rich and meaningful.

If you're ready to have conversations that open doors – in your career, your relationships, and your life – let’s talk.

Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? 

I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.

Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm scrolling on Instagram, yes, I know, and I
see a reel of a young celebrityand she is trash talking people
and proudly claiming to beageist and the comments are what
an icon she is, so therapeuticfor me.
I literally can't get enough.
And I get it in an age when wefeel like we have to self-censor

(00:24):
or people are going to come atus in the comments which
ironically did not happen muchhere.
People who go against the grainfeel refreshing.
Some more comments from thispost.
I love that she doesn't give anF.
Please don't ever give hermedia training.
Or I wondered later was thisher media training?

(00:46):
To grin and get a rise out ofpeople, to lean into what the
crowd seems to want and see howfar she can take them?
That has certainly been a veryeffective playbook in politics
in recent years.
Is she mindfully crafting anunapologetic persona or not

(01:06):
putting much thought into whatshe says?
Either way, there is adifference between courage and
impulse, between candor andcarelessness, and between shock
and meaningful effort.
And this social media clip mademe think of a much broader issue
.
Our culture is hungry forhonest voices, but we are not

(01:29):
very discerning about thequality of these words.
We are here for the circus.
Many of us fall into this fromtime to time.
We like when bold people speaktheir mind, as long as they are
never saying anything bad aboutus.
We live vicariously throughtheir confidence and I said what
I said energy, theirwillingness to say what we won't

(01:51):
.
I love when people challengethe status quo, who speak up
when it's hard, who say thethings that no one else will,
but with intention, with heart,with the courage to think before
they speak.
All this has me thinking moreabout who and where I give my
attention to in this brief lifeand who and where I want to give

(02:12):
my attention to in this brieflife.
Who do I want to consider anicon?
Whose words do I want to payattention to and discuss?
Whose message is really worthsharing into and discuss Whose
message is really worth sharing.
This week, senator BernieSanders introduced two
resolutions to stop US weaponssales to Israel, and he was
arguing on the Senate floor andin the media that the US has a

(02:36):
moral duty to end the starvationcrisis in Gaza.
And seeing him, I'm remindedthat there are people who speak
boldly not to provoke, butbecause it matters.
They say the unpopular thingnot for shock value, but because
it's needed.
So Bernie has a filter, buthe's not performing.

(02:59):
He is using his words with careto speak truth and to offer
direction.
Speaking without a filter islike emotional eating or retail
therapy it's an impulsive actwith very fleeting satisfaction
but long-term consequences.
And when we reward thisbehavior with our clicks, with

(03:21):
our votes, we normalize it.
We confuse it with honesty andwith leadership and with
strength.
Strength isn't blurting out thefirst thing that comes to your
mind.
Strength is choosing your wordsand thinking about the world
beyond yourself.
And that doesn't mean we haveto be formal or scripted or

(03:43):
quiet.
It means thinking before,speaking, not out of fear, but
out of integrity.
Mindful communication isn'tabout being perfect.
It's about being considerate.
It's about caring enough toslow down and ask what am I
really trying to say?
What is the impact my wordsmight have?

(04:04):
It's about the kind of energyyou want to bring to this world.
And this isn't a call to beserious all the time.
Life needs lightness, we needjokes and play.
Some things are silly andshould just be silly.
I'm not saying we have tochoose between pop culture or
geopolitics, as if we are oneither team fluff or team

(04:25):
justice.
Life is not black and white.
What I'm saying, for me, isthat I want to be more mindful
about where I put my attention,who I treat as an authority, how
I speak to others.
There is room for joy andirreverence and intention.
Our words don't have to beheavy to matter, but they do

(04:50):
matter.
So say what you mean, but alsomean what you say, because how
you speak and who you listen toshapes who you become.
Thank you for listening.
I'm Sarah Mikatel, an Americanliving in England and a coach
who helps people communicatewith more confidence, clarity

(05:11):
and intention.
If you're curious about thiswork and how it could benefit
you, check out my website andget in touch.
I would love to hear from you.
That's all for now, and have abeautiful week wherever you are.