Code4Couples
Code4Couples is the premiere podcast for law enforcement relational health hosted by Cyndi Doyle, author of Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship, psychotherapist, and a law enforcement spouse working to educate officers and spouse on the impact of law enforcement on their relationship for them to counter the impact and create connected and resilient relationships. She is the author and creator of Hold the Line products including a train the trainer program for departments. Contact Cyndi for speaking, training for your organization or department, or bulk orders of books at info@code4couples.com
Episodes
Sleep can feel like a luxury in law enforcement.css-1t8gq41{border:none;background-image:none;background-color:transparent;box-shadow:none;color:#2F3133;cursor:pointer;font-size:inherit;padding:0;-webkit-text-decoration:inherit;text-decoration:inherit;width:-webkit-max-content;width:-moz-max-content;width:max-content;}.css-1t8gq41:hover,.css-1t8gq41:focus{-webkit-text-decoration:inherit;text-decoration:inherit;}
Law enforcement teaches officers how to handle chaos, make quick decisions, and keep emotions in check to get the job done. But what happens when that same skill set that keeps officers safe on duty sta...
When Brent Cartwright became an undercover narcotics officer, he told his wife, Wesley, that it would be safer.
"Bad guys don’t want trouble. They just want your money and to get out of there," he reassured her. After years of unpredictable patrol work, undercover assignments seemed like a shift toward stability, more controlled environments, fewer calls involving guns. Wesley trusted him. ...
In the world of law enforcement, the weight of the job extends far beyond being on duty. Officers carry the burdens of the job home, often struggling with the effects of trauma, hypervigilance, and emotional exhaustion. Yet, despite being problem-solvers for others, many find it challenging to...
Ideally, officers coming home would be able to have 20 to 30 minutes to decompress before engaging with the family, but we all know that sometimes that's just not realistic. Your spouse has a life, a fu...
Let’s be honest, relationships can be tough. Add the challenges of a high-stress job like lawenforcement, and things can get even more complicated. If you’ve ever had a disagreement where your officer partner seemed togo into "work mode"—commanding, controlling, and all business—you’re not alone. And officers, maybe you’ve found yourself looking back on an argument wondering why you acted like you were on duty instead of at home. T...
Coming home after a long shift as a law enforcement officer should feel like a relief—a return to safety and family. Yet, for many officers and their spouses, this transition is anything but smooth. Hypervi...
January 9th marks Law Enforcement Appreciation Day—a moment to honor the men and women who protect and serve our communities. However, as we express gratitude for officers, it's crucial to also recognize the families who sacrifice and serve alongside them. Appreciation is not only for special occasions; it’s an essential practice that strengthens the bonds between officers and their loved ones.
Host, Cyndi Doy...
The start of a new year is the perfect time to set goals—not just for personal growth, but for your relationship as well. For law enforcement couples, the challenges of hypervigilance, shift work, stress, and balancing dual careers can create unique roadblocks to connection and communication. Without proactive strategies, these challenges can lead to misunderstandings, emotional distance, and even burnout.
...Burnout in law enforcement as an officer or spouse seems inevitable, considering the sacrifices you make and the impact on both of you. It leads to arguments and disconnection.
You work hard, juggling work, home, social life, projects, kids, parents, and all the other things. Appointments, meetings, and shifts keep getting added to your calendar, and paperwork is piling up. Maybe you've said yes to a few people or situations you ...
In this episode of the Code4Couples podcast, host C
There's an injury to the head on the job. If it's an open wound, it gets addressed, stapled up, and healed. As time goes on, you or your spouse notices that you're different.
In a dual first responder home, there are times when first person and vicarious trauma must coexist. We may experience the traumatic incident firsthand and then hear the other person's view of the same incident when we are home together. Whi...
As a couple, we are aware that officers and their families can be impacted by the job. Sometimes, the impact is trauma. That trauma can be direct or indirect. Secondary traumatic stress can impact officers, spouses, children, or even extended family and friends. We need to be aware of the signs and symptoms to help ourselves and those we love. Expert, Melissa Kaiser talks about what to look for and strategies o...
Hypervigilance allows officers to stay aware and safe on the job. As an officer or spouse, you may be aware or have a general understanding of hypervigilance. You may even understand that what goes up must come down. Sadly, that single biological process that keeps our officers safe, can spill over like a tsunami in our relationships.
We need to be aware of how it shows up and notice it to ...
In this podcast episode, host Cyndi Doyle interviews Brian Ellis, a retired law enforcement officer and creator of Magnus Worx
My husband and I were super naive when it came to understanding how his job was going to impact our relationship. I saw it as a career path, just like any other. I mean, sure, there was danger and shift work, but what more could there be? No one told us what to expect or how to make sure our relationship stayed solid. As a couple new to law enforcement, I wish someone would have told us some basics. Amber Smith...
Moral Injuries are a significant yet often unrecognized issue among first responders. Understanding what a moral injury is and recognizing its potential impact on careers and families is crucial to their overall wellness.
In this episode, Judy Couwels talks about what moral injuries are, how to recognize them, and how to combat their impact.
Communication and connection are a challenge for all of us in law enforcement relationships. There are some extra special challenges when you're on call all the time or you're in situations where you just can't talk due to being in a special...
“I just don't want to burden my spouse with what I experience on the job” is a way of protecting the people that you love. I always thought my husband was open only to find out later that this happened a few times within our relationship. Most of the time an officer's spouse and family sense that something is up. It bleeds over.
While protecting the family is noble, it is also a way that an...
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