November 11, 2024 • 34 mins
The U-Haul In this episode we unpack stories and insights on what we really value, and freedom from the weight of “things.” We ask our listeners to consider: Are you living your life with intention, or are your things owning you and keeping you trapped? Tune in to reflect, rethink, and rediscover what’s essential. As our Coach today puts it: “You are not a tree, you can move" We hope you enjoy this episode. Your Retirement Coach is a registered investment adviser. Information presented is for educational purposes only and does not intend to make an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. Past performance is not indicative of future performance.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Aaron (00:00):
All right, Randy, serious question.
(00:01):
All right.
Have you ever packed a U Haul?
I have done that today.
We know that there are several peoplein our audience based on emails and
conversations that have come our way.
You are paralyzed by a decision.
Maybe you're talking about a move,a downsize, a big decision, and
you're so overwhelmed by it thatyou're paralyzed in the moment.
(00:21):
And Randy, today, I was kind ofhoping you would take us through
the process of starting with zero.
Randy (00:27):
You know, that's a, it's an interesting story.
It comes up quite a bit, particularlywhen people are trying to make a
decision, um, with this last thirdof their life, you know, when they're
in maybe a life transition or that.
One of the things thatcomes up quite a bit is.
You know, where should Ispend the rest of my life?
I'm, I'm retired now.
I'm about to retire.
(00:47):
Do I want to retire to Florida?
Do I want to stay where I'm at?
Do I want to move towards the kids?
If I got too much house, the big onethat happens in my neighborhood and I
live in a neighborhood where a lot ofpeople have downsized and just, you know,
kind of walk through that a little bit.
That process of downsizing is alittle overwhelming for some people.
(01:07):
Sure.
So I think it begins maybe with, um, Youmade a move recently, by the way, Aaron,
Aaron (01:14):
we went through this.
Luckily I had gone through the exercisewith you because you know, we had only
lived in powder Springs for 12 years.
Uh, Tiffany and I have nowbeen married for 18 years.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
It was wild what we had accumulated and,uh, and I was, I was able to Definitely.
Uh, I don't think she appreciatedme trying to teach her as much
in the moment about decluttering.
Randy (01:36):
Yeah, that's probably not a good strategy right there.
Aaron (01:38):
Probably should have just
Randy (01:38):
brought her in, but yeah,
Aaron (01:40):
but, but walk us through today, uh, on, uh, coffee with your
retirement coach behind the clipboard.
I'm sorry.
I skipped over that.
Randy.
It's a special one because somany, uh, clients and students have
found, uh, a lot of clarity throughwhat we want to walk through.
Randy (01:56):
Yeah.
So there's a couple of things.
One is voluntary decumulation and,uh, maybe downsizing, right sizing,
whatever we might want to do.
And, and other people, it's not voluntary,you know, they're in a situation in
life where the home no longer fits.
So what I've found over the yearsis Making that decision on where
(02:19):
to move and what to do can bereally overwhelming for people.
And there's all kinds ofthings that go into that.
But the first thing isbeginning with what's important.
You know, and what'simportant is, uh, too broad.
Aaron (02:32):
Yeah.
Randy (02:33):
So, um, I came up with this story several years ago and I've used it to help
people gain clarity on what they want.
And one of those, um, experiencesI use the example of, let's say
there's an election this year.
I don't know if you know that.
I mean, I've heard a little something.
Okay.
So let's pretend that whoever getselected has decided that we need to
(02:55):
do a real census and the census is.
We want to know everythingthat Aaron and Tiffany owns.
Okay.
So Aaron, I'll pretend like you are oneof those folks making this decision, even
though you've already made the decisionto, to, uh, change your residence.
And then we can go back, maybea talk a little bit about what
might cause those decisions.
(03:16):
And people who are maybelistening to this, that should
be having this conversationwith themselves or loved ones.
Okay.
So, uh, there's a law that's passedand we have to do this super census.
So.
Randomly, people are picked ina big green government U Haul
truck pulls up into your driveway.
All right.
And they've got all thenecessary paperwork.
(03:38):
And what they're doing is theywant to make sure that they
know everything that Aaron owns.
My feeling is they probably already know.
You may be right, but so what theydo is, um, I want you to think
of this great big truck, right?
And they've got an accountant standingout there and you know his bowtie round
(03:59):
glasses Clipboard in hand and standingbeside him is another guy and he's got
a big Looney Tunes Version of a bag witha big dollar sign on a big black bag.
And what they're doing is other governmentworkers are going in your home and they're
taking everything out of your home area.
They're taking your furniture out.
They're taking the TV out.
They're taking the dog out.
(04:20):
I mean, they're taking everything out.
And at the end of it, Everythingthat you own, I mean, everything
that you own is on that truck.
A matter of fact, you're standing in thedriveway with a government issued towel.
Okay.
I mean, that's everything,
Aaron (04:34):
right?
Randy (04:35):
And there's, as the things come out, there's an accountant is doing a fair
market value of every item that comes out.
Right.
Okay.
The dollar amount is seen by theassociate helping him and they're
just putting cash in the bag.
Right.
And so there's this hugebag filled with cash.
Aaron (04:52):
I'm being compensated.
Randy (04:53):
That's right.
Aaron (04:54):
Yeah.
Randy (04:54):
And so you're standing there and they're going to take all of your stuff,
inventory it, and they, they let you,um, review, you know, What all's gotten
out of the truck or gone onto the truck.
Then you've got this big bag of money andthe, the government accountant says, Mr.
(05:17):
Calhoun, we're going to let youtake three things off the truck
and we're keeping everything else,but you get all the bag of money.
So you can take nothing off the truck.
You could take one thing, three things,but anything that you take, um, comes
out of the bucket of money, right?
(05:37):
Here's the bucket of money.
And then you, you know, you'rethere with three things.
So the question becomes, whatare the three things that
you would take off the truck?
What are the three things thatyou feel like are so important?
You're going to take them off the truck,
Aaron (05:54):
right?
And people respond quickly sometimes, butto get through all three, I've never seen
somebody rattle off all three quickly.
Randy (06:00):
Aaron, Aaron.
All right.
Stay with me.
Aaron (06:03):
Okay.
Randy (06:03):
I'm going to make you do it.
Aaron (06:05):
Okay.
So I've struggled with this becauseI have sat with you doing the
exercise and I absolutely love it.
I think personally, one, I thinkit's funny because my wife would
probably have paid the governmentto take some of my stuff away.
She just said, Oh, thanks.
Be careful.
If she hears this, it
Randy (06:22):
might be God.
Aaron (06:23):
Oh, okay.
Um, for me, the firstone is, is pretty easy.
Um, we, uh, our family, um,is, we're very fortunate.
A lot of us are of the same faith.
There might be some politics thatget discussed at the dinner table,
that kind of stuff, differentthings, but, but we agree on that.
And my grandfather was, uh, a minister.
(06:45):
Okay.
And I've got his, there'sa, a little booklet.
It's his, it's his ministry guide.
It talks about sermonsand those kinds of things.
And it was handed down to me.
And I think that's a no brainer.
I love that little book.
Uh, very, very special to me.
He was such an incredible man.
Um, and a lot of, I think, um, how thefamily was shaped comes from his, His
teaching the best way, you know, we'veall tried to, um, stand on his shoulders.
(07:09):
I feel like, uh, my dad was an evenbetter dad, uh, because of him.
And I think his encouragement was do that,take this and, and go one step further.
And then after that, it got hard.
Randy (07:19):
Yeah.
Aaron (07:20):
Um, I, I think.
If everything's there, and I lovehow people try to make realistic
questions about it, like, is this,you know, gross or net of taxes?
You know, I don't know in the exercisewhat access we have to the cloud, but
I know photos are important to me.
So whether it's a hard drive or someprinted copies, I'd want Like a picture
(07:44):
from when Tiffany and I were dating,maybe, you know, a wedding picture, the
kids kind of growing up in that kindof some, some photos from, you know,
that would, that would be the next one.
And I was stuck on thelast one for a long time.
Matter of fact, honestly, Randy,today was when I realized what
the last one, because there's somuch stuff that can be replaced.
There's so much stuff that just, itdoesn't, it doesn't really matter.
(08:05):
Um, but Tiffany and I have these,you know, Adirondack chairs.
Randy (08:09):
Okay.
Aaron (08:10):
And there's just something when the two of us are outside, whether
there's a little fire in the firepit or we're watching the sunset
or the sunrise, we have had some ofthe most incredible conversations
and now that we couldn't have thoseconversations on different stuff.
Um, But I, I think I would tryto get it with her permission.
Yeah, it would be, it would be,it'd be the, it'd be the chairs.
(08:31):
I think, I think
Randy (08:33):
it's interesting.
Cause sometimes when I do thisexercise with people, I won't let
them tell me that out loud, but I'llmake the husband and wife write down.
These things, right?
If they're putting the same thing down,but here's, what's interesting me.
I want to make sure I emphasize this,like the deed to your homes in there.
All your investments are in there.
Sure.
You know, everything's in there.
The watch is in there.
(08:53):
Yeah.
Your phone is in there.
Everything is in there.
Right.
And just like you did, it took up Youknow, a pause, sometimes people have
a little bit of difficulty decidingwhat they want to take off the truck.
Aaron (09:04):
Yeah.
Randy (09:04):
And I think one of the, uh, things that happens there is we realize what's
really important may not be the stuff.
Yeah.
Like what you were reallysharing, two of those things
in particular were experiences.
Yeah.
You know, even the book, the bookwas really, I mean, could you
get another minister's guide?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably one more in depth,probably newer cleaner.
(09:27):
Oh, up to the right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you know, that's not what it is.
So, um, I think the, the way thisexercise helps some people is
they realize what's important.
Yeah.
You know, when they start withzero, because you're buying back.
Only those things that you want and onlythose things that are the most important.
And, uh, I've, I've had more than onecouple say, I don't want anything.
(09:55):
Absolutely.
You know, which I, I thought thatwas kind of interesting because first
thing I thought of honestly was photos.
And, you know, back when I firststarted doing this, digital
photos weren't quite as common.
So everything's on thecloud that everybody had.
You know, albums of photos.
Um, so I think because those alsorepresent, um, lives and experiences
(10:16):
and things like that, but when you getright down to it, if the home, buying
the home back, isn't the thing, thenmaybe you're not in the right home.
If it's the car doesn't get bought back,maybe you don't have the right car, you
Aaron (10:28):
know?
Randy (10:29):
You know, if you don't take your dog back, I don't
know what to think about you.
But, um, but I do think that exerciseis powerful because people get stuck.
And I think some of it is theydon't know what to get rid of.
And I'll give you a couple placeswhere people really get challenged.
And one of them is what do you dowith the ginormous family photos?
(10:50):
You know, um, in the home I live in now, Ihave less wall space and tons of windows.
Yeah.
So a ginormous photo.
Of a child who is, you know, two,doesn't really go on the wall
anymore, but then it feels reallybad about what do you do with it?
The kids don't want, I promiseyou, they don't want it.
A matter of fact, I'lljust, there's a cartoon.
(11:12):
I love this cartoon.
I want you to visualize this.
So there's an old man with his walker,his backs to us, and there's a younger
man standing beside him and they'rein the driveway and they're looking
at the garage, the garage doors up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it is packed.
I mean, stuff is just falling out.
(11:33):
I mean, Florida roof, wall to wall packed.
Yeah.
And the caption is the old mansaying to the young man, one
day this will all be yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think, oh my gosh, no.
Right.
So I, uh, one other cute little exercisewhen I was downsizing, um, trophies.
(11:55):
In awards.
So we are very
Aaron (11:57):
involved in sports.
You are a very beloved coach, well,business and community leader.
You don't have enough walls anywhere.
I don't know
Randy (12:05):
that that's true, but I could tell you what I was
wrestling with was first of all.
Those are honors and recognitions and theydo have some emotional attachment to them.
But what are you doing with these things?
Right?
Aaron (12:16):
Yes.
Randy (12:16):
So I had things all the way back to like, you know, junior high school.
And, um, what do you do with it?
So I decided personally, um,I'm never going to use it.
I really felt bad too.
Like some of the awards andrecognitions were in with nice stuff.
And I thought, well, maybe I'd takeit somewhere and they'd reuse it for
another kid, but I ended up not doingthat, but I did take photos of them.
(12:42):
And so, uh, I didn't completely lose them,but I took photos of them and you could
store digitally your photos and then very.
Difficultly, we, we threw all thestuff away, you know, had to get rid
of it cause there's no place for it.
And many people move from hometo home and they just move boxes
that have never been unpacked.
Aaron (12:59):
Sure.
Randy (12:59):
Um, getting rid of the kids awards and recognition was kind of funny because,
um, there was a lot of things left overa lot of, uh, stuff in, in the move.
I had the garage floor, I had it all laidout, uh, by the different sports in that.
And I reached out to allthree kids and said, listen.
(13:20):
Saturday when it's here, Sunday,it's, we're done, it's gone.
So only one of my three childrenreached out to me, my daughter,
and she showed up Saturday.
Aaron (13:35):
Now her box had sports and academic awards in it.
So it was a more robust box.
Randy (13:40):
None of it was hers.
It was hilarious because it was all herbrothers who didn't reach out to me.
And, um, she'd already got herstuff because that's how she, right.
Yeah.
Well, she thought I said your stuff.
So anyway, um, but thereare things like that.
What do you do with those kinds of things?
Making the decision.
(14:01):
The other element that comes intothis, that makes this starting with
zero important is a lot of us havethese great memories and you are
associating maybe some of thosevaluables to great memories that you
had, and a lot of them are in the home.
And I think that sometimes people havesuch an emotional attachment to the
home because of those experiences.
It's not the sheet rock.
(14:21):
It's not the color of the paint.
It's not because I've got thebest dishwasher I've ever had.
A lot of it has to do with,you know, those experiences.
And then sometimes, um, in the viceworld that we live in trying to help
people make really strong, Um, personaldecisions that are in their best interest.
They're not in the right home.
(14:41):
You know, if I've got somebody who'sgot a, you know, all the bedrooms are,
you know, on the second or third floorand they come into the garage, which is
in the basement, or they've got a lotof steps to go up and they're getting
weaker and they don't have the physicalstrength to, uh, Um, live in that home.
If they had an accident, if theyfell and broke a leg, broke a hip
(15:02):
or had a certain kind of medicalcondition, then somebody else is going
to make that decision to downsize.
So I try to help people think aboutthis in the sense of, are you in the
right home for the rest of your life?
Yeah.
And one of the things that Ithink many of our clients are
very fortunate to be able to do.
is they don't have to, it doesn't haveto be a permanent decision, you know,
Aaron (15:24):
talk to, talk to people because I feel like there's
been a really positive shift.
There's a lot of our clients thatbecause they are prudent, they were
working hard to pay the home off.
Uh, and so their thought is, okay,well I take this equity and what
I've got and then I move it inthe next thing and I pay it off.
But you're like, I wantyou to look at renting.
I want you to look at short term.
I want you to get, find outthe community, the layout.
(15:47):
How do you know you'll like these things?
So that
Randy (15:49):
that's great because sometimes people are considering
moving where their children are.
And so, you know, you sell thehome, which isn't cheap, and
then you load all your stuff up.
Hopefully you do this, the accumulationthat we talked about, right.
But then you move to the newhome, which isn't inexpensive to
get set up the way you want to.
Usually there's new furniture,painting, landscaping, all
kinds of stuff that happens.
(16:10):
And then a couple of things that occur.
Kids move.
Yeah.
You move to see the kids, the kidsare gone because they get a job
change or something like that.
Or you end up in a community where youstill don't have the same friends or,
you know, um, it's, it's not reallyfor you, especially if you go from, you
know, let's say somewhere in the Midwestof Florida or Arizona or something like
that, because it seems like that's thething, but maybe that's not for you.
(16:32):
So remember it doesn'thave to be permanent.
You know, and so, as you said, sometimes,and we've done this because people are
considering moving to these vacationspots, um, where a lot of retirees go,
and we will often tell them, maybe theywant to sell the home, maybe they don't,
depending on their economic conditions,but maybe live there for six months or
(16:52):
a year, um, by leasing a place, and thenif you love it, you'll know a lot more
about the community, and then you can,you know, make a decision to purchase
real estate, um, I think there's a sensethat, um, Once you're a certain age,
you not only need to have a home, butyou need to have that home paid for.
So there's some of thisis the psychology of it.
The big thing I'm trying to makesure that, that, um, people that
(17:15):
I help is, are you in a good, um,environment for enjoying your life?
But also in the event that somethinghappened, are you still okay?
Aaron (17:27):
Right.
Randy (17:28):
And the reason I bring that up is I've had situations when people
haven't made that decision, their healthdeteriorated, they've had an accident,
a stroke or something, and the homethey're in now no longer fits, but the
urgency of needing to move somebodyelse's making that decision for them.
Now, one other little caveat to that,and I'm not selling real estate.
(17:48):
This is, you know, just an observation.
Um, I will have people consider.
I've got clients who did not thinkthat they would like moving out of the
traditional home that have moved into,you know, these adult living places
that are either homes or apartments,whether leasing them or buying them.
(18:11):
And that community is awesome because,you know, They've got, uh, transportation
to go to all these events that some ofthem are like, you're on, uh, a cruise.
I mean, there's everythingin the world in it.
And quite a few of them have madesome really good new friends.
And if they're widowed, someof them have made some good
(18:32):
friends with the opposite sex.
Absolutely.
So it's, it's, it's how you approachit, how you have the attitude.
But the first thing I thinkthat we need to do is.
Um, have that exercise,maybe make a decision.
What is really important?
What are the valuablethings that I want to have?
in life.
Aaron (18:49):
Talk to me about the difference between going through the exercise with
a couple that is entering into that phaseor maybe a single person that is entering
into that, especially maybe somebody thathas, um, maybe it's the first time that
they're getting to say, what do I like?
What do I want?
Yeah.
Randy (19:06):
So, well, I think that's as diverse as anything else in our
culture today, but I think that the,um, I think, to your point, one thing
that happens is, if you are, findyourself, I call it suddenly single.
So you've lost a loved one.
Maybe you've gone through a divorce.
I mean, gray divorce is somethingthat's a real thing that is an
(19:29):
increasing part of our society today.
And, or you're widowed, and maybeyour partner had made a lot of
these decisions with you or for you,and now you feel very vulnerable.
So I think the exerciseis good in that regard.
And I think what people really want toknow is, you know, do I have confidence
(19:50):
that if I go in a certain directionand I, I can think of a couple of,
um, wonderful clients I've got towork with that made this transition.
And went to a different home andthese weren't always, you know,
adult living or anything like that.
Just a different neighborhood,you know, a ranch style home or a
smaller yard, somebody that takescare of all of the maintenance.
And I would say disproportionately, theyare thrilled that they made that decision.
(20:14):
It's getting to make that
Aaron (20:15):
decision and not always static.
You had one client, thiswas one of my favorites.
They were going to travel,they were going to sell it all.
It was the, it was the, the RV situation.
And again, encouragethem to rent, go do it.
They hated it.
Yeah.
And this was, yeah, this was the goal.
They were like, we're here.
We can afford it.
Look at these big, beautiful.
And you're like, can we rent?
(20:36):
By the way,
Randy (20:36):
that has happened several times.
I'm sure I'm sure I've done that.
So it's a really good point.
Um, but I think that, you know,So again, for many of our, our
listeners and many of our clients,we live in such a great society.
We live in the greatest country in theworld, in my opinion, and with a lot
of economic prosperity for many people,the ability to, um, Make it change and
(21:00):
be wrong and be able to reverse it.
It's not permanent, but what is itthat you would really like to have?
And so I start with someideas related to that.
And one of them is non acceptables.
So if you're thinking aboutmaking a change in your life.
What things would you find thatare just not acceptable anymore?
But you don't want thatin your life anymore.
(21:22):
And sometimes people will make a literallya list or like, I don't want this.
I don't want, I'll never do this.
I'll never do that.
And it could be, I neverwant to do lawns again.
Like I don't want to do that anymore.
I don't want this or I don't want that.
So the non acceptable listis a really powerful list.
And for those of you who are listening,that, uh, this resonates with you, you
make a list of the things you don't want.
Aaron (21:43):
Yeah.
Randy (21:43):
You know, I don't want this and I don't want that.
And then of course, equallyimportant is the must have.
So the non acceptable list and the musthave, and the must have list could be,
you know, I must have a small garden or,you know, I, I, you know, I must have
a pool or a tennis court or, you know,something like, so what are the things
that would have to have, what are thethings that, and this, by the way, this
(22:04):
exercise, I use it a lot for people tryingto make a transition in real estate where
they're going to make a real modification.
Kids are grown or whatever, or I'm,uh, never had children, but I've
got too big of a home now to takecare of, or whatever it might be.
I want to be closer to relatives.
So they need to go through this particularexercise, but really the exercise is
(22:24):
to determine what's really important.
And if you ended up right now, youhad nothing you're at zero, but you've
got a big bag of money representingthe total economic value of that.
What would you do withthat big bag of money?
And.
I think that kind of can give yousome guidance, you know, and I, but
I do think people ought to consider,you know, do they want to travel?
(22:48):
Would they rather have a moremodest home and a lot more money
to, to travel and enjoy it?
And sometimes even without again,getting into too much detail
here, and maybe we are, but maybeyou've got your health right now.
You and your spouse have yourhealth, but 10 years from now, you
don't know that you would have it.
Aaron (23:03):
Yeah.
Randy (23:03):
So sometimes, um, we'll have people think about why don't we
start doing, planning the trips now?
Why don't we start traveling to seethe kids or to see the world now while
you've got your health and you'vegot your wealth rather than thinking
that you're going to do it later.
Aaron (23:20):
Thinking through it in phases I think is great.
And it does, it reminds me of ourtake the trip episode strongly.
And again, a lot of this overlaps.
Yeah.
You know, it does.
I, I think about the client that theymoved down to the battery, right?
They wanted to be in that environment.
I think we had a clientthat it was very similar.
It was Atlantic Station with, withus being the Metro Atlantic area.
Good memories, but.
(23:41):
It was for a season and they knew that'snot where they always wanted to live,
but they always wanted to mark it off.
And we had clients who were like, okay,did it done ready for the next thing.
And then some that were like,no, this is pretty great.
This is pretty great.
And I love it.
The other episode that I was kind ofthinking about them, we were talking
about was that retire now, retireoften the, the, if we're retiring
(24:02):
to something, those clients are.
Have healthier, happier, you know,and, and in the same way, it's like,
you know, we, we don't want to retireand get on the porch and sit on the
rocking chair and just let life happen.
We've got to know what's important to us.
We've got to know what's enough for us.
And that's something before we, we signoff, I want you to talk about enough.
And so what's important to you.
(24:22):
And if we, if we remove, sometimeswe can become so entrapped by stuff
and the clutter and the not wrong,but then the next part has got to be.
And in tandem with that isestablishing enough what's yeah,
Randy (24:35):
you know, it's interesting.
I remember, um, I usedto journal quite a bit.
I still journal, but I was really wentthrough a mode where I journal and journal
and journal, and I would capture ideas.
And I remember sitting in a sermon andthere was a guest speaker at the church.
And what came to me was,um, People don't have stuff.
Stuff has people, you know, and we canget the care and maintenance of stuff.
(25:01):
And it was funny when you were talkingabout like, even though you hadn't been
married or home the same length of timeI had, how much stuff you accumulated.
And I was thinking, I think my stuff'shaving babies, like it's just like
more and more, I mean, one, uh, move.
truckloads of stuff to must ministriesand other organizations that do good works
(25:24):
and it's like we still had stuff thatwas left over that we really didn't need
and in boxes that hung around for years.
In
Aaron (25:31):
the back of the attic we found a crib we never used.
We're not really sure whereit came from, just a whole
crib that could have benefited
Randy (25:39):
somebody.
Right, right.
And thank you for mentioning thatbecause the other thing that I found
that was very liberating for me, whetherit's clothing or furniture or whatever
is, um, I think I want to value.
What God has given me, I want to valuethe fact that, you know, I've been blessed
and I have these things and I don't wantto be greedy, but sometimes, you know,
(26:00):
you want to make a transition, want tohave a different lifestyle or you want
to have a different, you know, decor,whatever it might be, but it wasn't, it
was, uh, I want to, and not a have to.
And so one of the things that happened, Idid a little brain flip and it was like,
how many people could I bless with this?
Like, I'm not just getting rid of stuff.
(26:21):
I am able to take stuff that isperfectly good and give it to people
or organizations that really wouldvalue it and be able to use it.
And it would minister to themand it would allow them to do the
great works that they're doing.
And I felt a Liberty by being ableto get rid of things because it
was going to organizations in that.
And that was a freedom too.
So yeah, you've got some stuffin, in that, but maybe it's
(26:42):
time to do a little refresh.
Maybe, you know, understanding that,that you're not a tree, Liberty.
You know, so you can move, right?
You don't have to stay where you are.
And that's true psychologically,emotionally, and physically you can
Aaron (26:56):
change.
Randy (26:57):
So, um, anyway, I, I enjoy having that conversation with people and I'll
tell you kind of in wrapping up, Ihad this story with a great client.
Uh, just recently, and theyshared an example of this story
with me that was very different.
And this is a little close rightnow because we've had a couple of
hurricanes, but they had a friendthat was kind of forced in a different
(27:18):
circumstance to make this decision.
And that was, um, they werein the path of a hurricane.
And it was almost a hundredpercent probability that
their home would not make it.
It was like, this iswhere it's going to occur.
You've got hours to get out of there.
And what do you grab?
What do you take out of the home?
And it's
not like you're going to getit on the U Haul truck and
(27:39):
get cash reimbursement for it.
You're going to lose it.
So what are the things that you'regoing to take out of the home right now?
Those are your valued possessions.
Those are the things thatare important to you.
And, um, like you.
I think, um, making memoriesand building relationships.
Everything else is just stuff.
Yeah.
Aaron (28:01):
Randy, I have three clients that I'm going to make listen to this episode
because they all have coin collections.
One of them thrice inherited.
Randy (28:11):
Oh, wow.
Aaron (28:12):
It was handed down three times.
It's so funny how and and I discoveredthese in conversations with clients
over the last year and a half.
Nobody wants to touch it.
Nobody wants to deal with it.
One of my clients has literally told thegrandkids, you guys come, we'll do it.
There's an app we found, youcatalog it and we'll cut you in.
(28:32):
They don't have time.
Randy (28:33):
I tell you what, Aaron, I, what makes me so excited about this episode
is you got to use the word thrice.
Aaron (28:40):
This is
Randy (28:40):
the first episode I felt,
Aaron (28:42):
you know, accomplished it two more
Randy (28:43):
times.
It'll be thrice.
We've used thrice, right?
Aaron (28:47):
I don't know where to go beyond thrice.
So if it gets handed me down again,I won't have a good story for it,
Randy (28:51):
but I think the one thing I would tell, well, let me wrap this up.
Some of this up with this,don't operate in fear.
And I guess if I added one more thingto this, it would be something that you
guys have heard me say, maybe we've putit on a podcast before, but whenever
you're going through a life change, alife transition, something where you're
considering moving and all that, youare going to be hit with this fear.
(29:13):
Fear, uncertainty, and distress.
It's called the FUD factor.
It's it's normal.
So if you're feeling that way,recognize that everybody before
you has had that same feeling.
It is normal when you're goingthrough and making a change,
trying to decide where to live.
And when I downsized to a smaller homeand without the yard and all that kind of
(29:35):
stuff, boy, I tell you what, for a coupleof months, I really had buyer's remorse.
I'm like, what have I done?
Sure.
You know, my neighbors are closerthan I wanted them, blah, blah, blah.
And then I got to meet the neighbors andI went from an environment where it would
be lucky and, you know, with big lots,big homes and all that, you might throw
your hand up and wave at the neighbor.
(29:55):
They might respond.
With it, nobody really did muchin the way of socialization.
I know that's not true of all neighbors.
It was this one.
And then I moved into a neighborhood,which with a lot more people, kind
of at my phase of life, most of themhave launched their children by now.
They're getting towards theend of their career, et cetera.
And everybody gets together.
I mean, we do all thiskind of stuff together.
(30:17):
It's just, uh, you know, if, if you like.
You know, in, in enjoy otherpeople, then the neighborhood
I'm in is a perfect neighborhood.
And so we overcame some things that,um, you know, that buyer's remorse, but
it was fear, uncertainty and distress.
Like what have I done, butI needed a little time.
But the other thing was ifit didn't work out and if it
(30:38):
wasn't right, I can move again.
Don't want to, but you know,that's always an option.
Aaron (30:44):
Right, right.
Randy, I love that.
I appreciate you takingthe time with us today.
If somebody is paralyzed by that thought,we want them to assess what's important.
Feel free to explore.
Right.
And, and in all of this, you realize, youknow, the sooner that you do it and it's
not related to an event or a need, Butthe sooner you can start these exercises,
(31:08):
the sooner you could start exploring,the more, the more power, the more
Randy (31:12):
I'm belaboring this.
But let me just say one other thing.
Many people in closing, closing again.
This is my thrice time.
I have.
That's a good use of that word.
Sometimes it's not you.
Sometimes you've got to help your parent.
You know, there's a lot of usin that sandwich generation.
(31:32):
So maybe it's mom and dad thatare really struggling with this.
This might be a good episodefor them to listen to.
Yeah, probably won't want to listen to it,but it might help you articulate to them.
What's important.
You could literally do this exerciseat the coffee table with them or
the kitchen table with them andsay, tell me what's important.
And what I tell you whythat's such a great idea.
Um, Is in that conversation with mom anddad, I don't know how many of us would
(31:58):
love to be able to have that conversationwith our parents again, what's important
to you and get them to tell the familystory and document the family story.
So this just opens up that dialogueand that conversation to understand
what, what, what some of us do.
Is we project what's importantto us and assume it's important
to you only to find out it isn't
Aaron (32:21):
good stuff, good stuff, good stuff.
Thank you.
What's important to you.
If, uh, if you were going to share withus your three things, what would they be?
We can hear about it.
Email us at connect atyour retirement coach.
com.
We hear about your three things.
We want to hear about your zero.
Uh, Give us some examples, thingsthat you guys have explored.
Um, for those of you that are clientstudents or new listeners, longtime
(32:43):
listeners, um, we want to hearfrom you, email us, let us know.
Thank you so much for sharing.
If this was helpful today, hit us up.
If you have new complications thatcome out of this questions from this,
that you'd like to put in front ofRandy, we'd love to hear from you.
Listen, thank you so much for beinghere today, but most importantly,
thank you for being coachable.
We hope you enjoyed today's show.
But you may have questions for ourcoaches and they can be emailed at
(33:04):
connect at your retirement coach.
com.
If you know someone thatneeds to hear this episode,
we encourage you to share it.
As a reminder, the content of thispodcast is for educational and
entertainment purposes only, andshould not be construed as advice.
On behalf of our coaches, we want to thankyou for listening and for being coachable.
Devin (33:21):
Yeoman's Consulting Group, a registered investment advisor YouTube
channel based in Marietta, Georgia.
We strive to provide comprehensivewealth management services for
every stage of the journey.
This platform is solely for informationalpurposes, and it's not offering advisory
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Investing involves risk andpossible loss of principal capital.
Comments by viewers or recognitionsare no guarantee of future investment
outcomes and do not ensure thata viewer will experience a higher
(33:44):
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Public comments posted on thissite are not selected, amended,
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and may not necessarily come to pass.
All right, Randy, serious question.
(00:01):
All right.
Have you ever packed a U Haul?
I have done that today.
We know that there are several peoplein our audience based on emails and
conversations that have come our way.
You are paralyzed by a decision.
Maybe you're talking about a move,a downsize, a big decision, and
you're so overwhelmed by it thatyou're paralyzed in the moment.
(00:21):
And Randy, today, I was kind ofhoping you would take us through
the process of starting with zero.
Randy (00:27):
You know, that's a, it's an interesting story.
It comes up quite a bit, particularlywhen people are trying to make a
decision, um, with this last thirdof their life, you know, when they're
in maybe a life transition or that.
One of the things thatcomes up quite a bit is.
You know, where should Ispend the rest of my life?
I'm, I'm retired now.
I'm about to retire.
(00:47):
Do I want to retire to Florida?
Do I want to stay where I'm at?
Do I want to move towards the kids?
If I got too much house, the big onethat happens in my neighborhood and I
live in a neighborhood where a lot ofpeople have downsized and just, you know,
kind of walk through that a little bit.
That process of downsizing is alittle overwhelming for some people.
(01:07):
Sure.
So I think it begins maybe with, um, Youmade a move recently, by the way, Aaron,
Aaron (01:14):
we went through this.
Luckily I had gone through the exercisewith you because you know, we had only
lived in powder Springs for 12 years.
Uh, Tiffany and I have nowbeen married for 18 years.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
It was wild what we had accumulated and,uh, and I was, I was able to Definitely.
Uh, I don't think she appreciatedme trying to teach her as much
in the moment about decluttering.
Randy (01:36):
Yeah, that's probably not a good strategy right there.
Aaron (01:38):
Probably should have just
Randy (01:38):
brought her in, but yeah,
Aaron (01:40):
but, but walk us through today, uh, on, uh, coffee with your
retirement coach behind the clipboard.
I'm sorry.
I skipped over that.
Randy.
It's a special one because somany, uh, clients and students have
found, uh, a lot of clarity throughwhat we want to walk through.
Randy (01:56):
Yeah.
So there's a couple of things.
One is voluntary decumulation and,uh, maybe downsizing, right sizing,
whatever we might want to do.
And, and other people, it's not voluntary,you know, they're in a situation in
life where the home no longer fits.
So what I've found over the yearsis Making that decision on where
(02:19):
to move and what to do can bereally overwhelming for people.
And there's all kinds ofthings that go into that.
But the first thing isbeginning with what's important.
You know, and what'simportant is, uh, too broad.
Aaron (02:32):
Yeah.
Randy (02:33):
So, um, I came up with this story several years ago and I've used it to help
people gain clarity on what they want.
And one of those, um, experiencesI use the example of, let's say
there's an election this year.
I don't know if you know that.
I mean, I've heard a little something.
Okay.
So let's pretend that whoever getselected has decided that we need to
(02:55):
do a real census and the census is.
We want to know everythingthat Aaron and Tiffany owns.
Okay.
So Aaron, I'll pretend like you are oneof those folks making this decision, even
though you've already made the decisionto, to, uh, change your residence.
And then we can go back, maybea talk a little bit about what
might cause those decisions.
(03:16):
And people who are maybelistening to this, that should
be having this conversationwith themselves or loved ones.
Okay.
So, uh, there's a law that's passedand we have to do this super census.
So.
Randomly, people are picked ina big green government U Haul
truck pulls up into your driveway.
All right.
And they've got all thenecessary paperwork.
(03:38):
And what they're doing is theywant to make sure that they
know everything that Aaron owns.
My feeling is they probably already know.
You may be right, but so what theydo is, um, I want you to think
of this great big truck, right?
And they've got an accountant standingout there and you know his bowtie round
(03:59):
glasses Clipboard in hand and standingbeside him is another guy and he's got
a big Looney Tunes Version of a bag witha big dollar sign on a big black bag.
And what they're doing is other governmentworkers are going in your home and they're
taking everything out of your home area.
They're taking your furniture out.
They're taking the TV out.
They're taking the dog out.
(04:20):
I mean, they're taking everything out.
And at the end of it, Everythingthat you own, I mean, everything
that you own is on that truck.
A matter of fact, you're standing in thedriveway with a government issued towel.
Okay.
I mean, that's everything,
Aaron (04:34):
right?
Randy (04:35):
And there's, as the things come out, there's an accountant is doing a fair
market value of every item that comes out.
Right.
Okay.
The dollar amount is seen by theassociate helping him and they're
just putting cash in the bag.
Right.
And so there's this hugebag filled with cash.
Aaron (04:52):
I'm being compensated.
Randy (04:53):
That's right.
Aaron (04:54):
Yeah.
Randy (04:54):
And so you're standing there and they're going to take all of your stuff,
inventory it, and they, they let you,um, review, you know, What all's gotten
out of the truck or gone onto the truck.
Then you've got this big bag of money andthe, the government accountant says, Mr.
(05:17):
Calhoun, we're going to let youtake three things off the truck
and we're keeping everything else,but you get all the bag of money.
So you can take nothing off the truck.
You could take one thing, three things,but anything that you take, um, comes
out of the bucket of money, right?
(05:37):
Here's the bucket of money.
And then you, you know, you'rethere with three things.
So the question becomes, whatare the three things that
you would take off the truck?
What are the three things thatyou feel like are so important?
You're going to take them off the truck,
Aaron (05:54):
right?
And people respond quickly sometimes, butto get through all three, I've never seen
somebody rattle off all three quickly.
Randy (06:00):
Aaron, Aaron.
All right.
Stay with me.
Aaron (06:03):
Okay.
Randy (06:03):
I'm going to make you do it.
Aaron (06:05):
Okay.
So I've struggled with this becauseI have sat with you doing the
exercise and I absolutely love it.
I think personally, one, I thinkit's funny because my wife would
probably have paid the governmentto take some of my stuff away.
She just said, Oh, thanks.
Be careful.
If she hears this, it
Randy (06:22):
might be God.
Aaron (06:23):
Oh, okay.
Um, for me, the firstone is, is pretty easy.
Um, we, uh, our family, um,is, we're very fortunate.
A lot of us are of the same faith.
There might be some politics thatget discussed at the dinner table,
that kind of stuff, differentthings, but, but we agree on that.
And my grandfather was, uh, a minister.
(06:45):
Okay.
And I've got his, there'sa, a little booklet.
It's his, it's his ministry guide.
It talks about sermonsand those kinds of things.
And it was handed down to me.
And I think that's a no brainer.
I love that little book.
Uh, very, very special to me.
He was such an incredible man.
Um, and a lot of, I think, um, how thefamily was shaped comes from his, His
teaching the best way, you know, we'veall tried to, um, stand on his shoulders.
(07:09):
I feel like, uh, my dad was an evenbetter dad, uh, because of him.
And I think his encouragement was do that,take this and, and go one step further.
And then after that, it got hard.
Randy (07:19):
Yeah.
Aaron (07:20):
Um, I, I think.
If everything's there, and I lovehow people try to make realistic
questions about it, like, is this,you know, gross or net of taxes?
You know, I don't know in the exercisewhat access we have to the cloud, but
I know photos are important to me.
So whether it's a hard drive or someprinted copies, I'd want Like a picture
(07:44):
from when Tiffany and I were dating,maybe, you know, a wedding picture, the
kids kind of growing up in that kindof some, some photos from, you know,
that would, that would be the next one.
And I was stuck on thelast one for a long time.
Matter of fact, honestly, Randy,today was when I realized what
the last one, because there's somuch stuff that can be replaced.
There's so much stuff that just, itdoesn't, it doesn't really matter.
(08:05):
Um, but Tiffany and I have these,you know, Adirondack chairs.
Randy (08:09):
Okay.
Aaron (08:10):
And there's just something when the two of us are outside, whether
there's a little fire in the firepit or we're watching the sunset
or the sunrise, we have had some ofthe most incredible conversations
and now that we couldn't have thoseconversations on different stuff.
Um, But I, I think I would tryto get it with her permission.
Yeah, it would be, it would be,it'd be the, it'd be the chairs.
(08:31):
I think, I think
Randy (08:33):
it's interesting.
Cause sometimes when I do thisexercise with people, I won't let
them tell me that out loud, but I'llmake the husband and wife write down.
These things, right?
If they're putting the same thing down,but here's, what's interesting me.
I want to make sure I emphasize this,like the deed to your homes in there.
All your investments are in there.
Sure.
You know, everything's in there.
The watch is in there.
(08:53):
Yeah.
Your phone is in there.
Everything is in there.
Right.
And just like you did, it took up Youknow, a pause, sometimes people have
a little bit of difficulty decidingwhat they want to take off the truck.
Aaron (09:04):
Yeah.
Randy (09:04):
And I think one of the, uh, things that happens there is we realize what's
really important may not be the stuff.
Yeah.
Like what you were reallysharing, two of those things
in particular were experiences.
Yeah.
You know, even the book, the bookwas really, I mean, could you
get another minister's guide?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably one more in depth,probably newer cleaner.
(09:27):
Oh, up to the right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you know, that's not what it is.
So, um, I think the, the way thisexercise helps some people is
they realize what's important.
Yeah.
You know, when they start withzero, because you're buying back.
Only those things that you want and onlythose things that are the most important.
And, uh, I've, I've had more than onecouple say, I don't want anything.
(09:55):
Absolutely.
You know, which I, I thought thatwas kind of interesting because first
thing I thought of honestly was photos.
And, you know, back when I firststarted doing this, digital
photos weren't quite as common.
So everything's on thecloud that everybody had.
You know, albums of photos.
Um, so I think because those alsorepresent, um, lives and experiences
(10:16):
and things like that, but when you getright down to it, if the home, buying
the home back, isn't the thing, thenmaybe you're not in the right home.
If it's the car doesn't get bought back,maybe you don't have the right car, you
Aaron (10:28):
know?
Randy (10:29):
You know, if you don't take your dog back, I don't
know what to think about you.
But, um, but I do think that exerciseis powerful because people get stuck.
And I think some of it is theydon't know what to get rid of.
And I'll give you a couple placeswhere people really get challenged.
And one of them is what do you dowith the ginormous family photos?
(10:50):
You know, um, in the home I live in now, Ihave less wall space and tons of windows.
Yeah.
So a ginormous photo.
Of a child who is, you know, two,doesn't really go on the wall
anymore, but then it feels reallybad about what do you do with it?
The kids don't want, I promiseyou, they don't want it.
A matter of fact, I'lljust, there's a cartoon.
(11:12):
I love this cartoon.
I want you to visualize this.
So there's an old man with his walker,his backs to us, and there's a younger
man standing beside him and they'rein the driveway and they're looking
at the garage, the garage doors up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it is packed.
I mean, stuff is just falling out.
(11:33):
I mean, Florida roof, wall to wall packed.
Yeah.
And the caption is the old mansaying to the young man, one
day this will all be yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think, oh my gosh, no.
Right.
So I, uh, one other cute little exercisewhen I was downsizing, um, trophies.
(11:55):
In awards.
So we are very
Aaron (11:57):
involved in sports.
You are a very beloved coach, well,business and community leader.
You don't have enough walls anywhere.
I don't know
Randy (12:05):
that that's true, but I could tell you what I was
wrestling with was first of all.
Those are honors and recognitions and theydo have some emotional attachment to them.
But what are you doing with these things?
Right?
Aaron (12:16):
Yes.
Randy (12:16):
So I had things all the way back to like, you know, junior high school.
And, um, what do you do with it?
So I decided personally, um,I'm never going to use it.
I really felt bad too.
Like some of the awards andrecognitions were in with nice stuff.
And I thought, well, maybe I'd takeit somewhere and they'd reuse it for
another kid, but I ended up not doingthat, but I did take photos of them.
(12:42):
And so, uh, I didn't completely lose them,but I took photos of them and you could
store digitally your photos and then very.
Difficultly, we, we threw all thestuff away, you know, had to get rid
of it cause there's no place for it.
And many people move from hometo home and they just move boxes
that have never been unpacked.
Aaron (12:59):
Sure.
Randy (12:59):
Um, getting rid of the kids awards and recognition was kind of funny because,
um, there was a lot of things left overa lot of, uh, stuff in, in the move.
I had the garage floor, I had it all laidout, uh, by the different sports in that.
And I reached out to allthree kids and said, listen.
(13:20):
Saturday when it's here, Sunday,it's, we're done, it's gone.
So only one of my three childrenreached out to me, my daughter,
and she showed up Saturday.
Aaron (13:35):
Now her box had sports and academic awards in it.
So it was a more robust box.
Randy (13:40):
None of it was hers.
It was hilarious because it was all herbrothers who didn't reach out to me.
And, um, she'd already got herstuff because that's how she, right.
Yeah.
Well, she thought I said your stuff.
So anyway, um, but thereare things like that.
What do you do with those kinds of things?
Making the decision.
(14:01):
The other element that comes intothis, that makes this starting with
zero important is a lot of us havethese great memories and you are
associating maybe some of thosevaluables to great memories that you
had, and a lot of them are in the home.
And I think that sometimes people havesuch an emotional attachment to the
home because of those experiences.
It's not the sheet rock.
(14:21):
It's not the color of the paint.
It's not because I've got thebest dishwasher I've ever had.
A lot of it has to do with,you know, those experiences.
And then sometimes, um, in the viceworld that we live in trying to help
people make really strong, Um, personaldecisions that are in their best interest.
They're not in the right home.
(14:41):
You know, if I've got somebody who'sgot a, you know, all the bedrooms are,
you know, on the second or third floorand they come into the garage, which is
in the basement, or they've got a lotof steps to go up and they're getting
weaker and they don't have the physicalstrength to, uh, Um, live in that home.
If they had an accident, if theyfell and broke a leg, broke a hip
(15:02):
or had a certain kind of medicalcondition, then somebody else is going
to make that decision to downsize.
So I try to help people think aboutthis in the sense of, are you in the
right home for the rest of your life?
Yeah.
And one of the things that Ithink many of our clients are
very fortunate to be able to do.
is they don't have to, it doesn't haveto be a permanent decision, you know,
Aaron (15:24):
talk to, talk to people because I feel like there's
been a really positive shift.
There's a lot of our clients thatbecause they are prudent, they were
working hard to pay the home off.
Uh, and so their thought is, okay,well I take this equity and what
I've got and then I move it inthe next thing and I pay it off.
But you're like, I wantyou to look at renting.
I want you to look at short term.
I want you to get, find outthe community, the layout.
(15:47):
How do you know you'll like these things?
So that
Randy (15:49):
that's great because sometimes people are considering
moving where their children are.
And so, you know, you sell thehome, which isn't cheap, and
then you load all your stuff up.
Hopefully you do this, the accumulationthat we talked about, right.
But then you move to the newhome, which isn't inexpensive to
get set up the way you want to.
Usually there's new furniture,painting, landscaping, all
kinds of stuff that happens.
(16:10):
And then a couple of things that occur.
Kids move.
Yeah.
You move to see the kids, the kidsare gone because they get a job
change or something like that.
Or you end up in a community where youstill don't have the same friends or,
you know, um, it's, it's not reallyfor you, especially if you go from, you
know, let's say somewhere in the Midwestof Florida or Arizona or something like
that, because it seems like that's thething, but maybe that's not for you.
(16:32):
So remember it doesn'thave to be permanent.
You know, and so, as you said, sometimes,and we've done this because people are
considering moving to these vacationspots, um, where a lot of retirees go,
and we will often tell them, maybe theywant to sell the home, maybe they don't,
depending on their economic conditions,but maybe live there for six months or
(16:52):
a year, um, by leasing a place, and thenif you love it, you'll know a lot more
about the community, and then you can,you know, make a decision to purchase
real estate, um, I think there's a sensethat, um, Once you're a certain age,
you not only need to have a home, butyou need to have that home paid for.
So there's some of thisis the psychology of it.
The big thing I'm trying to makesure that, that, um, people that
(17:15):
I help is, are you in a good, um,environment for enjoying your life?
But also in the event that somethinghappened, are you still okay?
Aaron (17:27):
Right.
Randy (17:28):
And the reason I bring that up is I've had situations when people
haven't made that decision, their healthdeteriorated, they've had an accident,
a stroke or something, and the homethey're in now no longer fits, but the
urgency of needing to move somebodyelse's making that decision for them.
Now, one other little caveat to that,and I'm not selling real estate.
(17:48):
This is, you know, just an observation.
Um, I will have people consider.
I've got clients who did not thinkthat they would like moving out of the
traditional home that have moved into,you know, these adult living places
that are either homes or apartments,whether leasing them or buying them.
(18:11):
And that community is awesome because,you know, They've got, uh, transportation
to go to all these events that some ofthem are like, you're on, uh, a cruise.
I mean, there's everythingin the world in it.
And quite a few of them have madesome really good new friends.
And if they're widowed, someof them have made some good
(18:32):
friends with the opposite sex.
Absolutely.
So it's, it's, it's how you approachit, how you have the attitude.
But the first thing I thinkthat we need to do is.
Um, have that exercise,maybe make a decision.
What is really important?
What are the valuablethings that I want to have?
in life.
Aaron (18:49):
Talk to me about the difference between going through the exercise with
a couple that is entering into that phaseor maybe a single person that is entering
into that, especially maybe somebody thathas, um, maybe it's the first time that
they're getting to say, what do I like?
What do I want?
Yeah.
Randy (19:06):
So, well, I think that's as diverse as anything else in our
culture today, but I think that the,um, I think, to your point, one thing
that happens is, if you are, findyourself, I call it suddenly single.
So you've lost a loved one.
Maybe you've gone through a divorce.
I mean, gray divorce is somethingthat's a real thing that is an
(19:29):
increasing part of our society today.
And, or you're widowed, and maybeyour partner had made a lot of
these decisions with you or for you,and now you feel very vulnerable.
So I think the exerciseis good in that regard.
And I think what people really want toknow is, you know, do I have confidence
(19:50):
that if I go in a certain directionand I, I can think of a couple of,
um, wonderful clients I've got towork with that made this transition.
And went to a different home andthese weren't always, you know,
adult living or anything like that.
Just a different neighborhood,you know, a ranch style home or a
smaller yard, somebody that takescare of all of the maintenance.
And I would say disproportionately, theyare thrilled that they made that decision.
(20:14):
It's getting to make that
Aaron (20:15):
decision and not always static.
You had one client, thiswas one of my favorites.
They were going to travel,they were going to sell it all.
It was the, it was the, the RV situation.
And again, encouragethem to rent, go do it.
They hated it.
Yeah.
And this was, yeah, this was the goal.
They were like, we're here.
We can afford it.
Look at these big, beautiful.
And you're like, can we rent?
(20:36):
By the way,
Randy (20:36):
that has happened several times.
I'm sure I'm sure I've done that.
So it's a really good point.
Um, but I think that, you know,So again, for many of our, our
listeners and many of our clients,we live in such a great society.
We live in the greatest country in theworld, in my opinion, and with a lot
of economic prosperity for many people,the ability to, um, Make it change and
(21:00):
be wrong and be able to reverse it.
It's not permanent, but what is itthat you would really like to have?
And so I start with someideas related to that.
And one of them is non acceptables.
So if you're thinking aboutmaking a change in your life.
What things would you find thatare just not acceptable anymore?
But you don't want thatin your life anymore.
(21:22):
And sometimes people will make a literallya list or like, I don't want this.
I don't want, I'll never do this.
I'll never do that.
And it could be, I neverwant to do lawns again.
Like I don't want to do that anymore.
I don't want this or I don't want that.
So the non acceptable listis a really powerful list.
And for those of you who are listening,that, uh, this resonates with you, you
make a list of the things you don't want.
Aaron (21:43):
Yeah.
Randy (21:43):
You know, I don't want this and I don't want that.
And then of course, equallyimportant is the must have.
So the non acceptable list and the musthave, and the must have list could be,
you know, I must have a small garden or,you know, I, I, you know, I must have
a pool or a tennis court or, you know,something like, so what are the things
that would have to have, what are thethings that, and this, by the way, this
(22:04):
exercise, I use it a lot for people tryingto make a transition in real estate where
they're going to make a real modification.
Kids are grown or whatever, or I'm,uh, never had children, but I've
got too big of a home now to takecare of, or whatever it might be.
I want to be closer to relatives.
So they need to go through this particularexercise, but really the exercise is
(22:24):
to determine what's really important.
And if you ended up right now, youhad nothing you're at zero, but you've
got a big bag of money representingthe total economic value of that.
What would you do withthat big bag of money?
And.
I think that kind of can give yousome guidance, you know, and I, but
I do think people ought to consider,you know, do they want to travel?
(22:48):
Would they rather have a moremodest home and a lot more money
to, to travel and enjoy it?
And sometimes even without again,getting into too much detail
here, and maybe we are, but maybeyou've got your health right now.
You and your spouse have yourhealth, but 10 years from now, you
don't know that you would have it.
Aaron (23:03):
Yeah.
Randy (23:03):
So sometimes, um, we'll have people think about why don't we
start doing, planning the trips now?
Why don't we start traveling to seethe kids or to see the world now while
you've got your health and you'vegot your wealth rather than thinking
that you're going to do it later.
Aaron (23:20):
Thinking through it in phases I think is great.
And it does, it reminds me of ourtake the trip episode strongly.
And again, a lot of this overlaps.
Yeah.
You know, it does.
I, I think about the client that theymoved down to the battery, right?
They wanted to be in that environment.
I think we had a clientthat it was very similar.
It was Atlantic Station with, withus being the Metro Atlantic area.
Good memories, but.
(23:41):
It was for a season and they knew that'snot where they always wanted to live,
but they always wanted to mark it off.
And we had clients who were like, okay,did it done ready for the next thing.
And then some that were like,no, this is pretty great.
This is pretty great.
And I love it.
The other episode that I was kind ofthinking about them, we were talking
about was that retire now, retireoften the, the, if we're retiring
(24:02):
to something, those clients are.
Have healthier, happier, you know,and, and in the same way, it's like,
you know, we, we don't want to retireand get on the porch and sit on the
rocking chair and just let life happen.
We've got to know what's important to us.
We've got to know what's enough for us.
And that's something before we, we signoff, I want you to talk about enough.
And so what's important to you.
(24:22):
And if we, if we remove, sometimeswe can become so entrapped by stuff
and the clutter and the not wrong,but then the next part has got to be.
And in tandem with that isestablishing enough what's yeah,
Randy (24:35):
you know, it's interesting.
I remember, um, I usedto journal quite a bit.
I still journal, but I was really wentthrough a mode where I journal and journal
and journal, and I would capture ideas.
And I remember sitting in a sermon andthere was a guest speaker at the church.
And what came to me was,um, People don't have stuff.
Stuff has people, you know, and we canget the care and maintenance of stuff.
(25:01):
And it was funny when you were talkingabout like, even though you hadn't been
married or home the same length of timeI had, how much stuff you accumulated.
And I was thinking, I think my stuff'shaving babies, like it's just like
more and more, I mean, one, uh, move.
truckloads of stuff to must ministriesand other organizations that do good works
(25:24):
and it's like we still had stuff thatwas left over that we really didn't need
and in boxes that hung around for years.
In
Aaron (25:31):
the back of the attic we found a crib we never used.
We're not really sure whereit came from, just a whole
crib that could have benefited
Randy (25:39):
somebody.
Right, right.
And thank you for mentioning thatbecause the other thing that I found
that was very liberating for me, whetherit's clothing or furniture or whatever
is, um, I think I want to value.
What God has given me, I want to valuethe fact that, you know, I've been blessed
and I have these things and I don't wantto be greedy, but sometimes, you know,
(26:00):
you want to make a transition, want tohave a different lifestyle or you want
to have a different, you know, decor,whatever it might be, but it wasn't, it
was, uh, I want to, and not a have to.
And so one of the things that happened, Idid a little brain flip and it was like,
how many people could I bless with this?
Like, I'm not just getting rid of stuff.
(26:21):
I am able to take stuff that isperfectly good and give it to people
or organizations that really wouldvalue it and be able to use it.
And it would minister to themand it would allow them to do the
great works that they're doing.
And I felt a Liberty by being ableto get rid of things because it
was going to organizations in that.
And that was a freedom too.
So yeah, you've got some stuffin, in that, but maybe it's
(26:42):
time to do a little refresh.
Maybe, you know, understanding that,that you're not a tree, Liberty.
You know, so you can move, right?
You don't have to stay where you are.
And that's true psychologically,emotionally, and physically you can
Aaron (26:56):
change.
Randy (26:57):
So, um, anyway, I, I enjoy having that conversation with people and I'll
tell you kind of in wrapping up, Ihad this story with a great client.
Uh, just recently, and theyshared an example of this story
with me that was very different.
And this is a little close rightnow because we've had a couple of
hurricanes, but they had a friendthat was kind of forced in a different
(27:18):
circumstance to make this decision.
And that was, um, they werein the path of a hurricane.
And it was almost a hundredpercent probability that
their home would not make it.
It was like, this iswhere it's going to occur.
You've got hours to get out of there.
And what do you grab?
What do you take out of the home?
And it's
not like you're going to getit on the U Haul truck and
(27:39):
get cash reimbursement for it.
You're going to lose it.
So what are the things that you'regoing to take out of the home right now?
Those are your valued possessions.
Those are the things thatare important to you.
And, um, like you.
I think, um, making memoriesand building relationships.
Everything else is just stuff.
Yeah.
Aaron (28:01):
Randy, I have three clients that I'm going to make listen to this episode
because they all have coin collections.
One of them thrice inherited.
Randy (28:11):
Oh, wow.
Aaron (28:12):
It was handed down three times.
It's so funny how and and I discoveredthese in conversations with clients
over the last year and a half.
Nobody wants to touch it.
Nobody wants to deal with it.
One of my clients has literally told thegrandkids, you guys come, we'll do it.
There's an app we found, youcatalog it and we'll cut you in.
(28:32):
They don't have time.
Randy (28:33):
I tell you what, Aaron, I, what makes me so excited about this episode
is you got to use the word thrice.
Aaron (28:40):
This is
Randy (28:40):
the first episode I felt,
Aaron (28:42):
you know, accomplished it two more
Randy (28:43):
times.
It'll be thrice.
We've used thrice, right?
Aaron (28:47):
I don't know where to go beyond thrice.
So if it gets handed me down again,I won't have a good story for it,
Randy (28:51):
but I think the one thing I would tell, well, let me wrap this up.
Some of this up with this,don't operate in fear.
And I guess if I added one more thingto this, it would be something that you
guys have heard me say, maybe we've putit on a podcast before, but whenever
you're going through a life change, alife transition, something where you're
considering moving and all that, youare going to be hit with this fear.
(29:13):
Fear, uncertainty, and distress.
It's called the FUD factor.
It's it's normal.
So if you're feeling that way,recognize that everybody before
you has had that same feeling.
It is normal when you're goingthrough and making a change,
trying to decide where to live.
And when I downsized to a smaller homeand without the yard and all that kind of
(29:35):
stuff, boy, I tell you what, for a coupleof months, I really had buyer's remorse.
I'm like, what have I done?
Sure.
You know, my neighbors are closerthan I wanted them, blah, blah, blah.
And then I got to meet the neighbors andI went from an environment where it would
be lucky and, you know, with big lots,big homes and all that, you might throw
your hand up and wave at the neighbor.
(29:55):
They might respond.
With it, nobody really did muchin the way of socialization.
I know that's not true of all neighbors.
It was this one.
And then I moved into a neighborhood,which with a lot more people, kind
of at my phase of life, most of themhave launched their children by now.
They're getting towards theend of their career, et cetera.
And everybody gets together.
I mean, we do all thiskind of stuff together.
(30:17):
It's just, uh, you know, if, if you like.
You know, in, in enjoy otherpeople, then the neighborhood
I'm in is a perfect neighborhood.
And so we overcame some things that,um, you know, that buyer's remorse, but
it was fear, uncertainty and distress.
Like what have I done, butI needed a little time.
But the other thing was ifit didn't work out and if it
(30:38):
wasn't right, I can move again.
Don't want to, but you know,that's always an option.
Aaron (30:44):
Right, right.
Randy, I love that.
I appreciate you takingthe time with us today.
If somebody is paralyzed by that thought,we want them to assess what's important.
Feel free to explore.
Right.
And, and in all of this, you realize, youknow, the sooner that you do it and it's
not related to an event or a need, Butthe sooner you can start these exercises,
(31:08):
the sooner you could start exploring,the more, the more power, the more
Randy (31:12):
I'm belaboring this.
But let me just say one other thing.
Many people in closing, closing again.
This is my thrice time.
I have.
That's a good use of that word.
Sometimes it's not you.
Sometimes you've got to help your parent.
You know, there's a lot of usin that sandwich generation.
(31:32):
So maybe it's mom and dad thatare really struggling with this.
This might be a good episodefor them to listen to.
Yeah, probably won't want to listen to it,but it might help you articulate to them.
What's important.
You could literally do this exerciseat the coffee table with them or
the kitchen table with them andsay, tell me what's important.
And what I tell you whythat's such a great idea.
Um, Is in that conversation with mom anddad, I don't know how many of us would
(31:58):
love to be able to have that conversationwith our parents again, what's important
to you and get them to tell the familystory and document the family story.
So this just opens up that dialogueand that conversation to understand
what, what, what some of us do.
Is we project what's importantto us and assume it's important
to you only to find out it isn't
Aaron (32:21):
good stuff, good stuff, good stuff.
Thank you.
What's important to you.
If, uh, if you were going to share withus your three things, what would they be?
We can hear about it.
Email us at connect atyour retirement coach.
com.
We hear about your three things.
We want to hear about your zero.
Uh, Give us some examples, thingsthat you guys have explored.
Um, for those of you that are clientstudents or new listeners, longtime
(32:43):
listeners, um, we want to hearfrom you, email us, let us know.
Thank you so much for sharing.
If this was helpful today, hit us up.
If you have new complications thatcome out of this questions from this,
that you'd like to put in front ofRandy, we'd love to hear from you.
Listen, thank you so much for beinghere today, but most importantly,
thank you for being coachable.
We hope you enjoyed today's show.
But you may have questions for ourcoaches and they can be emailed at
(33:04):
connect at your retirement coach.
com.
If you know someone thatneeds to hear this episode,
we encourage you to share it.
As a reminder, the content of thispodcast is for educational and
entertainment purposes only, andshould not be construed as advice.
On behalf of our coaches, we want to thankyou for listening and for being coachable.
Devin (33:21):
Yeoman's Consulting Group, a registered investment advisor YouTube
channel based in Marietta, Georgia.
We strive to provide comprehensivewealth management services for
every stage of the journey.
This platform is solely for informationalpurposes, and it's not offering advisory
services or sales of securities.
Investing involves risk andpossible loss of principal capital.
Comments by viewers or recognitionsare no guarantee of future investment
outcomes and do not ensure thata viewer will experience a higher
(33:44):
level of performance or results.
Public comments posted on thissite are not selected, amended,
deleted, or sorted in any way.
If applicable, certain editing ofpersonal identifiable information
and misinformation may be deleted.
The opinions expressed herein are asof the date of publication and are
subject to revision due to changesin the market or economic conditions
and may not necessarily come to pass.
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