Breaking Free from Fear of Rejection: Perfectionism, People Pleasing, and Finding Confidence Through Grace

In this powerful episode, Heather Creekmore continues October’s "Fear Free Fall” series by digging deep into the often-hidden fear of rejection and how it influences our lives. She unpacks how perfectionism and people-pleasing are tightly related to our need to feel accepted and loved. Through personal stories, relatable examples, and biblical truth, Heather unravels the underlying self-protective strategies we adopt—and how the gospel offers real freedom and grace.

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Key Topics Covered:

• What is the Fear of Rejection?
  Heather explores how this fear drives us and manifests as perfectionism and people-pleasing. She explains that these are self-protective strategies formed by our desire for secure love, belonging, and worth.

• Perfectionism:
  Often, we think, “If I get it right, then I’ll be enough.” Heather shares a personal story from college when a single missed typo made her feel immense shame, showing how perfectionism can lead to exhaustion and shame rather than peace.

• People-Pleasing:
  The fear that “If I make everyone happy, I’ll be safe.” Heather discusses how people-pleasing is not true peacekeeping or biblical peacemaking and how it can even impact our ability to follow God’s call if the opinions of others control us.

• Where Does This Come From?
  Heather highlights how these tendencies usually aren’t intentional—they’re often formed in childhood, at school, or through life experiences that taught us we’d be safer if we kept everyone happy or never made mistakes.

• How It Affects Others:
  Unchecked, perfectionism and people-pleasing can also lead us to have unrealistic expectations of others, continuing the cycle for those around us.

• The Gospel’s Answer:
  True freedom is found not in earning love and acceptance from people (or God), but in embracing grace. Heather reminds us that Jesus took on ultimate rejection so we can be fully accepted by God, no matter how we perform.

• A Challenge to Listeners:
  Heather encourages us to check our motives—are we striving for approval from people or resting in God’s approval? She challenges listeners to shift their perspective from a “people-big, God-small” view to a “God-big, people-small” mindset for greater confidence and peace.

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Memorable Quotes:

• “Perfectionism is a fear of inadequacy dressed up as excellence.”

• “People pleasing is not biblical peacemaking—it’s a form of self-protection.”

• “You can never be perfect or please everyone, but you are already fully accepted in Jesus.”

• “Freedom comes when you realize you can’t earn grace—it's a gift.”

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Resources & Next Steps:

• Visit heathercreekmore.com for free resources, courses, coaching, and Heather’s books

• Sign up for the free 10-day encouragement email series!

• Learn more about the In His Image Conference in Dallas, TX (November 15th) — details in show notes

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If you struggle with people-pleasing, perfectionism, or fear of rejection, this episode is for you. Learn how to find freedom and confidence in who God says you are—not in what you do or how others respond.

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