September 25, 2024 • 42 mins
From Convent to KROCK: A Journey of Resilience | Conversations With a Chiropractor
In this episode of Conversations With a Chiropractor, Dr. Stephanie Wautier sits down with Jan to explore her unique life journey. From growing up as a twin, spending years in a convent, to becoming a key player at KROCK radio, Jan shares a rich tapestry of stories. Her resilience shines through as she recounts lessons from her family, career, and her fight with cancer, offering listeners an inspiring tale of faith, love, and life’s unexpected twists.
🎧 In This Episode, Discover:
- Life in the Convent: What led Jan to pursue a religious life and why she eventually left.
- Career Evolution: From IBM courses to a fulfilling radio career at KROCK.
- Lessons in Resilience: How Jan overcame personal struggles and thrived in her own way.
🔗 Stay Connected & Support Us:
- Follow Us on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@ConversationswithaChiro
- Follow Us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/wautierwellness
- Email Us for Show-Related Inquiries and Sponsorships: drstephaniewautier@yahoo.com
Credits:
- Podcast production by Brand|Sound. Start your podcast journey by emailing brandsoundpodcasts@gmail.com.
00:00 Introduction to Conversations with a Chiropractor
00:43 Meet Jan: A Lifelong Friendship
01:18 Childhood Memories and Twin Tales
03:15 Life in the Convent
06:34 Family Life and Early Challenges
11:50 Surviving Cancer and Staying Positive
13:31 A Love Story: Meeting Jim
16:48 Reflections on Love and Family
18:51 A Father's Apology
20:10 Coping with Loss and Finding Faith
23:56 Self-Discovery Through Personality Tests
25:30 Managing Diabetes and Health Tips
29:35 The Joy of Costumes and Creativity
33:09 A Diverse Career Journey
39:25 Reflections on Life and Final Thoughts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie (00:04):
Hi, this is Dr.
Stephanie Wautier and I'm the hostof Conversations with a Chiropractor.
This is not a health how to, butrather a conversation with some
amazing people I've had the pleasureof being with on my journey of life.
Think of it more like Tuesdays with Maury.
A fireside chat orchicken soup for the soul.
(00:27):
Grab a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoythis conversation with a chiropractor.
Jan, thank you so muchfor being on this podcast.
(00:48):
I was a little nervous aboutit, but I'm okay with it.
Well, you know, I said to someone whowas recording, the microphone being
in between us can sometimes seem likean obstacle, but you and I have had
conversations in this exact room,every time you come in, which has been
for years, we've known each other.
So we're friends, and this is justtwo friends having a conversation.
(01:11):
And that's okay.
That's really good.
So, you currently livein Ishbeming, Michigan.
But, but where were you born?
I was born in Escanaba.
Where you, where you were?
I was born in Escanaba.
Were you born at St.
Francis Hospital?
The original one on 16th Street.
Me too, but I don't thinkyou're old enough for that.
(01:31):
Are you?
I am.
I am old enough.
So you were born in Escanaba.
My twin was born about13 minutes before me.
Her name is Jeannie.
How was that, having a twin growing up?
that's the only thing Iknow besides having an older
sister and an older brother.
Jan Grove (01:50):
But my twin, for example, when we were about two or three
years old, my mother gave us somescissors to cut paper my twin cut
my bangs right down to my forehead.
I didn't know at that timethat that was a bad day.
Stephanie (02:07):
it was a very bad hair day.
I wonder if we polled people, how manywould have had either someone else or
they themselves cut their bangs short?
Jan Grove (02:16):
these were really bad.
I didn't have much hair to beginwith, so I look pretty pathetic.
She had the curly hair.
Stephanie (02:22):
So do you feel like there was a little bit of jealousy or competition?
Oh yeah,
Jan Grove (02:27):
We're just two different people.
we are not identical at all.
She has a different way of thinkingand I have the other way of thinking
most of the time, I was more creative.
more willing to step outand do something different.
she moved to New Jerseyafter she got married.
and I lived in Ishmael for like50 some years, but I traveled
(02:53):
a lot throughout my life.
we moved a lot.
Stephanie (02:55):
Was your husband in the service?
Is that why you moved a lot?
Jan Grove (02:58):
No, he wasn't in service for four years.
He was in the IBM and he had to havesome kind of clearance for what he did.
but when he got out of the service.
I got out of the convent.
Stephanie (03:15):
Now, this is something that we have to delve into.
How did you get into the convent?
Jan Grove (03:21):
At the time that I wanted to go in, we lived in Foster City.
we moved around a lot.
I lived in Rock and Perkinsand Foster City and St.
Nicholas because my dad and my motherwere, were farmers and they milk
cows and my dad was a cheesemaker.
So he had to go where he'd make cheese.
in the summertime, When I went toLongfellow School in Foster City,
(03:47):
the, the nuns from Racine, Wisconsin,they were Dominican sisters.
They would come and teach us for threeweeks about the Lord and religion
And I got to like them and Istarted thinking, well, maybe
I should go on the convent.
So after eighth grade, I went to St.
(04:07):
Catharine's in Racine, Wisconsin.
I did my high school years there.
In 10, 11, 12.
then I became a postulant andtook my first year of college.
the next year, I was a novicefor a year, which studied, a lot
about, Theology and the Lord, andit was considered the cloister.
(04:27):
So we do talking.
So it was all thinking and praying thenext year, I was a sophomore at Dominican
College and Racine, and I was still, Iwas a novice then and that year, I was
to be accepted into the Racine DominicansI decided at that time I was 21 and
(04:48):
thought, you know what I want a family.
So I did pick my name.
my sister name would have been SisterMary Kristin of Christ the King.
And but I told this mothersuperior that this was.
Not for me.
And then I really wanted tobe married and have children.
of course she cried.
that was in spring whenI left the convent.
(05:11):
And so that would have been in March,April, May, somewhere in there.
I went to Northern MichiganUniversity in a government
sponsored course, an IBM course.
that's where I met Jim, my husband,we each had, relationships going
on I started that in September,October, and then in March of the
(05:31):
next year, which was in 67, On St.
Patty's Day, I asked him ifhe wanted to take me out.
So we went and had a green
Stephanie (2) (05:39):
beer, and then we went to the movies.
That's a fun first date.
Now, I'm going to come back to Jim,but I want to rewind a little bit.
So here you are, a freshmanin high school, 15 years old,
4 to 5 hours away from home.
I mean, that must have I to get to Racine.
Alone.
That must have been really scary.
Jan Grove (06:01):
I might have been scared at times, but I didn't
really think of it as scary.
Stephanie (2) (06:06):
Did you, like, that must be part of, your adventurous spirit or
your Well, we moved so much, you know,
Jan Grove (06:11):
every few years we'd move here, move there, wherever
there was Work to be done.
And so if it wasn't on theVrbiki farm, it was on the Rock,
Creamery where my dad made cheese.
I went to school in Rock andPerkins Which are really small towns
Stephanie (2) (06:27):
people who don't know, like a blinking, a blinking yellow light.
So you became very adaptable.
I guess so.
You know, here you are the youngestwhat was your family life like?
would you say that yourmom and dad were loving?
Was it like Little House on the Prairiewhere you were having meals together?
Jan Grove (06:46):
No, I don't think so.
Stephanie (2) (06:47):
was okay.
Jan Grove (06:48):
I felt, you know, we were poor and it was fine.
I never thought myself as being poor.
I just was glad that wehad a lot of hand me downs.
I was the smallest and the youngestbecause my twin was 13 minutes
older than me, my older sisterwas 2 years older than me, and my
brother was 7 years older than me.
Of course, he died at an early age.
(07:09):
He died at 33.
He was married to his high schoolsweetheart, Levon, and they had
six children His 6th child wasnamed after my husband, Jim.
He was only 2 months old when mybrother died, but my brother had
juvenile diabetes, so he had lotsof challenges in his life too.
Stephanie (2) (07:28):
he
Jan Grove (07:28):
used to take me everywhere,
Stephanie (2) (07:29):
I remember that.
So he, like seven years old, oryou were like probably The little
sister that he could put me
Jan Grove (07:33):
yeah, he'd put me on his motorbike and off we'd go.
I was always holding awrench for him or something.
He was good to me.
And even my dad, he would call me Shrimp.
I was kind of his favorite.
So when everybody would wantsomething, they say, you go ask dad.
Of course he wouldn't say no.
Stephanie (2) (07:52):
He wasn't gonna say
Jan Grove (07:53):
no to
Stephanie (2) (07:54):
Jan.
Jan Grove (07:55):
So, and my mother was, I guess you could call her domineering,
but She was kind of the boss andtook care of a lot of things.
she was a strong woman.
Did your mom work as well?
Oh yeah.
She would be out at 5 30 inthe morning milking cows.
Stephanie (2) (08:12):
So your mom and dad did this together to sustain you,
to keep you fed and clothed and
Jan Grove (08:19):
Yeah, and we learned how to drive a tractor out in the cow field.
And I watched a calf be born and wecould feed the calf when they were
born and that was an experience.
people don't get that kind ofexperience in this day and age.
I can't even give thatto my grandchildren.
Stephanie (2) (08:38):
I think about this too, like, the food that you were
eating was so clean and pure.
Oh, it was.
Jan Grove (08:43):
And we learned to cook as girls.
my mother would say, well,who's going to cook today?
And who's going to do the dishes?
we had to take our turn.
Some of the kids nowadayssay, I don't do that.
Or they don't know how.
Or they weren't ever shown how.
so going to the convent or leaving homeat 15 or 14 it wasn't anything really.
(09:05):
It was just another, I don't knowif I could call it an adventure,
but it was another experience.
Stephanie (2) (09:11):
were you sort of pushed to do it?
Did you want to do it?
No, I wanted to.
You wanted to do it.
And I had a good life there.
You did.
Oh yeah, good experiences,a good education.
Tell us about what that was like.
How many girls were there with you?
Jan Grove (09:27):
In our class through St.
Catherine's, between the 9th and 12thgrade, there was 315 in our class.
Wow.
And I'm used to being in FosterCity with maybe 8 or 10 in your
class, like 7th and 8th grades.
So 315 was a lot of people.
I do remember that I was168 when I graduated.
I was the 168th, so I wasn't the dumbestperson, whatever you want to call it.
Stephanie (2) (09:52):
I was average, which is fine.
So you were taught by other nuns?
They were your teachers.
You lived in like a dormitory style.
Correct.
And we even lived in the
Jan Grove (10:02):
convent when I was a novice.
We lived in dormitories whenwe were going to high school.
And as postulants, we lived in a house.
And sometimes they were upto 30 of us in the house.
I mean, that was challenging livingwith a bunch of women sometimes because
I had to learn some self esteem andto stand up for myself and to realize
(10:27):
that not everybody will agree with you.
Stephanie (2) (10:29):
not everyone will like you.
Jan Grove (10:30):
Oh,
Stephanie (2) (10:31):
We're all going to be nuns and we're going to have harmony and, oh,
well, we had a lot of harmony, but we
Jan Grove (10:36):
had a lot of other stuff going on.
There was one person.
who was always critical of me.
So I had a real hard time with her.
I had to grow up in a different waythan what I was used to on a farm.
it wasn't exactly like running intocowboys with a disagreeable woman.
Stephanie (2) (10:53):
What a very different life experience.
Oh yeah.
Jan Grove (10:56):
It was, I could tell you lots of stories about my experiences,
but, We could be here forever.
Stephanie (2) (11:03):
did your folks write letters to you?
Did you get to go home and visit them?
We got to go home for,
Jan Grove (11:09):
Christmas.
And we got to go home for the summer.
And that's when we wouldhelp them on the farm.
And that's why I learned to drivetractor and take the old pickup boat
and learn to do stick shift in the mud.
Stephanie (2) (11:22):
Very self sufficient,
Jan Grove (11:24):
we learned to do a lot of things.
We learned to help outand, to do our part.
Stephanie (2) (11:30):
A very, you know, so many people would say that, well, what an
amazing experience that you were given.
when we talked a little bit beforeabout Wayne Dyer, one of the things
that I know he said was that hefeels that he was put on this earth
to be able to survive and then teachpeople how to survive, you know?
Jan Grove (11:50):
Well, I guess I've learned to survive because
I'm also a cancer survivor.
You are?
If you want to talk about surviving,when I was 46, I had a mammogram
and found out that I had cancer.
I can remember, we havetwo sons, Jim and I.
I can remember, when I came homeand told them that I had cancer
(12:13):
My oldest son started crying and Isaid, you can stop your crying now
because I'm not going to die and now
It's 30 some years later.
Wow.
And I'm still here.
So I must have a purpose and I think I do.
Stephanie (2) (12:28):
Yeah.
And how cool for your boys to see howstrong their mother was, you didn't
take that news as a death sentence.
you were like, okay, here we go.
This is another thing thatI'm going to get through.
Jan Grove (12:41):
And 30 some years ago, it wasn't as positive as it is now.
When they had their first Relayfor Life in Marquette, I walked
for udders, which I was a cow.
Stephanie (2) (12:50):
how fun!
It was.
we'll come back to your spunkfor Halloween in a moment.
But, I think that your attitude hasalways struck me as being so amazing.
you're just so positive.
You have perseverance that probablycame from your upbringing or maybe you
were just born with it because like yousaid your twin sister has a different
(13:11):
personality and outlook on life.
It doesn't
Jan Grove (13:13):
mean she's bad.
It's just that she's different.
Stephanie (2) (13:15):
Exactly.
And we're so different.
So, you decide to leave the conventand you go to Northern Michigan
University for these IBM classes.
Jan Grove (13:24):
when we learned to do key punching back then.
When they had thesebig cobalt machines and
Stephanie (2) (13:28):
Yeah.
What a different time.
That was different.
And then your firstdate with Jim is on St.
Patty's Day.
Jan Grove (13:34):
Yeah, that's, well, he befriended me a lot in class.
And of course the guys in class said, youknow, Jim, maybe you should go with her.
I didn't know that till later,but we just kind of hit it off.
and I was going to marry atall, dark and handsome guy.
Jim was not tall, dark and handsome.
he's not bad looking, butyou know, it wasn't the image
(13:55):
that you are when you're 21.
Stephanie (2) (13:57):
that's the funny thing, right?
About what our dreams and expectationsare versus What is reality you
got along and you fell in love.
Jan Grove (14:07):
it was not sparkles and, music or anything like that.
it was downright practical because,I realized there was something
about Jim that was loving andcaring, very responsible guy.
I came up with different wordsthan tall, dark and handsome.
Stephanie (2) (14:20):
Yeah,
Jan Grove (14:21):
right.
Stephanie (2) (14:21):
we'll definitely come back to your court.
How can I remember all this?
you wanted a tall, dark, andhandsome gentleman, and you got
this wonderful man who you'vebeen married to now for 57 years.
Yes.
Even though I've said to you in the past,like, oh, this must be stressful, you said
just now that you wouldn't change it, thatyou don't feel like things were stressful.
Jan Grove (14:48):
you can say that and you can realize it, but I don't
think of things as stressful.
It's something you have to face andmake the best of it, I always ask
the Lord to come with me for the day.
Maybe that helps.
And I think I've always done that.
Not more so now than when I was younger.
Stephanie (2) (15:08):
Because we talked about facing mortality,
Jan Grove (15:11):
yeah, as you get older and as things change.
and with my husband, facing somesickness this year, I never thought
of him as looking old, but whenhe's sleeping in his chair, I look
at him and think, Oh, grandpa.
Stephanie (2) (15:27):
How old is Jim?
Jim just turned 82.
for the very first time in yourwhole existence and marriage at 82,
he just now looks like a grandpa.
Jan Grove (15:37):
Well, he looks like his dad, which could be a great grandpa.
But, yeah, it's more intensethan, what I've faced before.
I always saw him differently.
when you're going through somechallenges, sometimes you lose a little
bit of that spark you got to realizethat everything isn't because Jim is a
very strong person with this sickness.
(15:58):
I've had to do a lot more things it'sstill okay because I'm always grateful
that I can do them, it's hard to watchhim go through and now that he's getting
a little more spark back, I can even
Stephanie (2) (16:11):
argue with
Jan Grove (16:11):
him a
Stephanie (2) (16:12):
little bit.
And you know, he's healthy, right?
If he's got enough spunk to startan argument or be sassy to you.
Jan Grove (16:21):
when we first went out, we went to a movie, the Godfather,
that movie was Somewhere My Love.
And that was one of our favorite songsand still is one of our favorites.
another favorite that we reallylike is could I have this
dance for the rest of my life
Stephanie (16:38):
with
Jan Grove (16:38):
Annemarie?
And, that's kind of sustainedus through certain things.
we find things that, we lookback on that make us happy.
So that helps.
Stephanie (2) (16:47):
Yeah.
to sort of have that memory or thatremembrance of you know, this is
us together and this is why we fellin love or how we fell in love.
Jan Grove (16:56):
when we were going through it, we didn't realize how
it was going to affect our lives.
Stephanie (2) (17:00):
would you say that Jim is a romantic person,
Jan Grove (17:04):
quietly romantic, you know, he's not real showy, but I
know, some people are very emotionaland show, you know, Jim will show it,
but he'll show it gently and quietly.
And you just have to know that.
Stephanie (2) (17:20):
Exactly.
I love that book, the five love languages.
do you know about that?
for some people, they might receive love.
In gift giving, or they might givelove in gift giving, but regardless
of if you both have read the book,you know, each other so well after
57 years that you are content andhappy with how he's showing love.
Jan Grove (17:42):
Yeah, and he was never a gift giver let's see, we got married
in July and in November, I waspregnant because I was thrown up.
She went to the doctor.
Well, when I had our first son,he bought a dozen yellow roses.
I gave him a yellow rose to carryfor our wedding, and I carry daisies.
(18:03):
But anyway, he bought these dozenyellow roses, and the lady in the
room with me was allergic to them.
You had a roommate?
Yes.
her name was Elizabeth the roses had tosit out in the hallway, so I would have
never expected him to buy roses for me.
(18:23):
So five years later, when we had oursecond son, I said, don't buy me roses.
Don't buy me flowers.
I think he bought me an orange dress,
but orange just reminds me of a pumpkin.
I wore it, but I wouldtease him once in a while.
(18:47):
But he's not a real giftgiver, he gives in other ways.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if we can go thereor not, but on my dad's deathbed.
Yes.
Um, did I ever tell you that?
No.
What happened on my dad's deathbed?
No.
Well, on a Friday, we went to seehim because he was in the hospital
and they were suctioning him out, andhe was having a hard time breathing.
(19:09):
we visited as much as we could andthen we left the following Tuesday.
my mother called and said that dad died.
And I said, was he trying toguess for air when he died?
And she said, no.
He was very peaceful, but hesaid, tell Janice that I'm sorry
for giving her licking with aleather belt when she was dying.
Oh my God.
(19:29):
And I'm going, oh my God.
Stephanie (2) (19:33):
I mean,
Jan Grove (19:34):
how much more can you feel love?
Yes.
You know, and I said tomy mother, I said, well.
I remember that day I was being a snot.
Stephanie (2) (19:43):
Wow.
And he carried that all thoseyears, that remorse, that regret.
Jan Grove (19:49):
I didn't.
Stephanie (2) (19:51):
You know, I love to hear that, like that, I mean, yeah,
you're right, like, how loved were you?
Like, he, on his deathbed, andhow old were you when he passed?
27.
27.
So for, I won't do the math.
40 some
Jan Grove (20:05):
years.
Stephanie (2) (20:06):
Yeah.
Jan Grove (20:07):
Hmm.
it was, yeah, back in 74.
Stephanie (2) (20:10):
Wow.
April, I
Jan Grove (20:11):
my brother had just died in January of that year.
Oh, how hard for your whole family.
I had a hard time.
I didn't realize that I had to say goodbyeto my brother and I could tell him that.
It took 14 years for somebody to sayyou can talk to your brother, you know.
Mmm.
You do this through yourlife and you, you know.
(20:31):
You learn.
Stephanie (2) (20:32):
Are we on here?
yeah, we're recording.
Jan Grove (20:35):
Well, I thought we, I thought we weren't and I just bring
that up because I think it's good to,
Stephanie (2) (20:39):
to talk about these natural and normal things.
Yeah.
Jan Grove (20:42):
And you know, what I, what I found out from my experience
with my father seeing that is.
I see God in a different way.
I don't see him as a punisher or anything.
I see him, I think we can relate to ourfather and have some relational thing with
(21:02):
God, If you didn't have a good experiencewith your father, then there's a different
way Of getting to the loving God because,you don't have that experience of father.
Stephanie (2) (21:14):
You had a beautiful loving relationship with your dad.
Jan Grove (21:17):
Yeah.
So it was different than most kids have.
He didn't spoil me.
If I wanted cashews, when he'dstop and have a beer at a bar,
would you like some cashews?
He'd bring me a bag of cashews.
He didn't, I wouldn't say hespoiled me, he just showed.
(21:38):
He gave you a treat,
Stephanie (2) (21:39):
he showed you his love in that way.
Jan Grove (21:41):
Yeah, and my mother did it in different ways.
some people don't agree with me and it'sfine, but I think God is mother too.
That's my experience, not everybody's.
Stephanie (2) (21:52):
I think it's hard for people to wrap their head around
and, you didn't stay a Catholic.
No, I
Jan Grove (21:58):
didn't.
It was in 1998, I had a friend whogoes to Trinity Lutheran Church in
Ishbeming, her name is Mary, and sheencouraged us to come to her church,
my church, I had an experience thatwas very hurtful, and I had to live
through it, um, it was Lent that year,and I was hurt by, what they did to me.
(22:19):
just because they didn't agree withme, they got rid of me, I can remember
going to the bottom of the crossthat year and saying, father, forgive
them for they know not what they do.
I kind of related with that,
where were we going with this,a friend of yours invited church
to Trinity Lutheran church.
And, we've been there ever since.
(22:41):
And, I found out that it doesn'tmatter what church is in, there's
always going to be some kind of.
Stuff going on.
that isn't so sweet.
Stephanie (2) (22:49):
I think it was Gandhi who said, I love your Jesus, but I don't like
your Christians or something like that.
Yeah, we are all human and sometimesa bad representation of who God is.
Jan Grove (23:02):
Yeah.
Stephanie (2) (23:03):
And, you know,
Jan Grove (23:05):
none of us has it.
I don't care what church you go to.
So it doesn't matter.
Although, when you, I found out inmy, in my life, I don't even know
if I want to share this, but whenyou don't like something in somebody
that really bugs you, you canrelate it to, um, filing your nails.
(23:29):
And you might be a littlebit like that yourself.
So the file will take thatlittle sharp edge off.
If you can recognize that.
Oh, yeah, she has something I don't like.
And you know what?
Maybe I'm that way too.
Stephanie (2) (23:41):
I have heard that.
there could be a character traitthat really annoys you in someone,
but it's because it's so closelyto what you are, what you do.
I mean, and I think that'shumility and growth, right?
it was a different realizationthan what I thought about.
You told me once that you went tothese classes, was it at Northern?
at some point in your life,you took these classes.
(24:05):
To, be a better person or something.
What am I thinking about?
Jan Grove (24:09):
A lot of my classes seem to make me a better person,
whether I want to be or not.
Maybe I was referring to, taking thoseEnneagram tests and Meyer Briggs?
Yes.
Boy, you can learn a lot.
Absolutely.
I found out that I have a gift ofhospitality that I didn't realize.
I knew I was that way, but, I accepted it.
(24:31):
So that was from Myers Briggs, I believe.
it's something about feeling, sensing.
Well, yes.
Like EFTJ or.
Yeah.
I can't remember.
I think I was FN something J.
Stephanie (2) (24:45):
Are you
Jan Grove (24:45):
an extrovert or an introvert?
I'm on the borderline.
I'm more introverted.
When I found that out,I thought introvert.
but see, I've learned to do someskills that would help me, because
people don't see me as an introvert.
Stephanie (2) (25:01):
No, people would say you're very outgoing And I'm
not, I love introverted stuff.
You get rejuvenated by justhaving that alone time.
Jan Grove (25:10):
Quiet music.
when I went to that fashionshow last night, I had a ball.
I think it might have been the sweets.
they sure offered enough things, and itwas right in front of us on the table.
And I'm thinking, I camehere with the idea that I was
maybe going to have one thing.
Oh, I must have had four.
Well, that's very unusual
Stephanie (2) (25:29):
for you.
Stephanie (25:30):
it
Stephanie (2) (25:30):
You're a diabetic.
I am.
And you take really good care of yourself.
I try to, yes.
You exercise, you stretch, you'revery active outside in your yard.
What would you say to someone who'shaving trouble, doing something
to take care of themselves?
Or maybe somebody doesn'thave your positive attitude.
What would you say to them?
(25:52):
As an encouragement,
Jan Grove (25:53):
I could say to my son, Dan, he's also diabetic.
when I became diabetic, Ihad polymyalgia and was on,
prednisone for like three years.
polymyalgia often comes, or happensin, in women who are Norwegian
ancestry or Finnish or one of those.
(26:14):
I, I couldn't move.
I, I didn't know what was happening to me.
So for three years, I took prednisoneand my, sugar started climbing my numbers
were like for diabetic numbers, likeyour glucose was over eight, which is, I
was dizzy a lot and I didn't feel good.
And so I took some classesoffered by Bell Memorial Hospital.
(26:36):
I think her last name was Carlson.
She showed us the pyramidand I kind of followed that.
And I lost 40 pounds that kindof helped too because I was 180
pounds and I'm only five feet tall.
And so I thought, I want to feel better.
(26:57):
even though this pregnazonewasn't making me feel better.
I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist.
I like to follow rules andI like to disagree also.
I just.
Thought I want to be better.
So it took me a few years.
You don't magically get better,overnight from stuff like that then
curves came into tone and I becamethe weight manager person I taught
(27:21):
weight management and I told the girls
We're always stars I said yougo out on your porch stretch
your arms out and say I'm a star
Stephanie (27:29):
Mm
Jan Grove (27:29):
I said, no matter what anybody thinks, and I can remember telling
them that, um, what you buy, you eat.
So if you buy a big bag ofchips, you're going to eat it
because they're really good.
But if you buy the smaller bags.
You only have to deal with 15 grams ofcarbs, which you can have for a snack.
(27:50):
So I learned and taught what I learned andI became close to the women that I taught
and shared stuff with that helped me too.
Mm hmm,
Stephanie (2) (28:00):
like being a mentor.
Yeah, and that probably solidifiesyour own health decisions, right?
Cause if you're telling someone to doit, then you have that authenticity that
you're going to be doing it yourself.
Jan Grove (28:12):
That's how I learned to tell them because I said,
I know what works for me.
Your numbers aren't always great, but,they're better because you're trying.
And then of course, we had acurves book that suggested diets
and stuff and you don't reallycall you saying you're on a diet.
You say you're making good choices.
You can change that too.
So it doesn't feel so restrictiveand, you can have anything.
(28:36):
You just can't have a lot of it.
Stephanie (2) (28:38):
Those are all really great things to think about
because so many people are likeeither on a diet or off a diet.
they don't think of the choices thatthey make, you thought of your weight
loss as just a way to make your bodyfeel better and be healthier, where
so many people maybe are caughtup in the physical look, right?
Like, I want to get into this sizegene, or I want to look like this, or
Jan Grove (29:01):
that's not a reality either, because no matter how bad
you think you want to be in a.
It's not going to happen all the time.
It can't happen all the time.
It comes partly from your heredity, too.
And partly what you do with yourbody Now that I'm getting older,
I have this nice little bulgeright in the middle of my body.
And I think, Do I accept that or do Itry and do these things that make me feel
(29:25):
uncomfortable for stretches and stuff?
So I think, well, I'lljust do the best I can.
absolutely.
And you wear a bigger
Stephanie (2) (29:32):
top.
You always look good.
tell me how Sometimes on Halloween youcome dressed as a bee or as Dorothy.
Where did your fun for costuming come in?
Jan Grove (29:48):
I love, not really scaring people, but I think
that might be there in my blood.
I love just being silly cause youcan be somebody that you're not.
And I've done a number ofcostumes throughout my life.
I started with a cowcostume walking for others.
then I did a bee costume, that issomething with Relay for Life for cancer,
(30:11):
and I don't know, I just, I, I, seethings like maybe in a, in a Vinny's
or Goodwill or something, I say, Oh,that would make a, a cute sweater to
wear, and then Make a daisy flower youcan wear around your face because my
daughter in law borrowed my bee costume.
So I went and visited her at her workat Valenti, the American County Medical
(30:35):
Care Facility, and I was a daisy.
I was a flower.
when I was working for, the threechurches, I was their secretary.
I had a friend that was,coordinator for the younger kids,
like, kindergarten, first grade.
Her name is Annie.
one year, we decided to go toWestwood and visit the, board.
(30:59):
we knocked on the door.
she was a hunter and she put likewhiskers all over her face and she
had a old man's half of a mask onand she was dressed like a hunter
and I had made myself a deer costume.
So she knocks on the door to thesuperintendent and says, would you
like to go hunting with me and my deer?
They chased us out of there real quick.
(31:19):
They didn't appreciate that.
I guess not, but we had funand I love to be a witch.
So I've done a number of witch costumesand when my granddaughter, Harley was
13, she was on the basketball team.
I also at the time did, red hats.
And so I decorated my garage with thehelp of my grandson, Tyler, in black.
(31:44):
Tablecloths, so it looked like a cave.
that was quite the job, but hestapled all these black tablecloths
throughout the whole thing.
So it was like a big black cave.
And then I made a photo booth.
So people, could take their photosWe could do some pumpkin cutting.
instead of using scissors, we ripped apumpkin out and had a pumpkin contest
(32:06):
I made different food, like mudpudding and a little pumpkin thing.
I had the red hats come over and we hada witches ball, they were all witches.
So we had a, I have a albumof those, those pictures.
Oh my gosh.
And that's the same year, Hardy was 13.
We had a party for the girls.
But that's girls.
(32:27):
They, I think they had a ball if theydidn't, I'm certain if they denied, did.
So I was a different witch then.
I still have witch costumes.
my mother says, you shouldnot have a witch in the house.
I couldn't really buy that.
I said, mom, witches aren't fun.
She says, no, they're,bad for you or something.
I said, I think they're cute.
I don't care if they're ugly or not.
(32:47):
'cause I like the Wizard of Oz.
Yes, exactly.
that's when I decided to beDorothy a couple years ago.
you were adorable, Dorothy.
I still have that costume and once in awhile I reincarnate that costume, but this
year I'm going to be somebody different.
Stephanie (2) (32:59):
Oh, I can't wait to see.
We'll have to make sure that weget you scheduled on October 31st.
I think this is so cool that you havesuch a zest for life and such gumption.
I didn't know this until awhile ago, but you actually had
a job at a radio station too.
Jan Grove (33:13):
I always wanted to work with men, you see, because
I did so many things with women.
I wanted to work with men.
They were all gifts to me.
because they respected mesometimes I was their mother.
But, George was quite special.
he's away from here now.
His daughter still lives in Ishring.
(33:34):
it was quite the experience.
my husband has had thecable job since 1964.
I mean, that's a lot of years.
Yes.
And that's fine for him,because that's what he likes.
But I'm grateful for all theexperiences I've had, because
I've had so many different jobs.
I stayed home with my boys.
For the first 15 years I was a transplant.
(33:56):
I didn't know anybody in Ishpeming.
That was really hard, Because itwas hard to get to know people but
throughout the years I've gotten toknow them my first job was at Mather
Nursing Center as a certified nursingassistant Which was a good thing.
I thought I wanted to be a nurse Well,maybe not I mean, I could be a good
nurse, but I didn't want to be a nurse.
(34:18):
I went to Northern to do office services.
I did some temping at Northern after that.
I took that test that you have totake and I did some of that tempting.
That was interesting,but it was hard on my.
Yeah, fitting, fitting typing andlearning and, I was in the conference
department with Judy Place she wasgood to me, but it was hard work.
(34:39):
I did some temping for manpower.
after that.
I worked at the CCD Center for sevenyears as secretary for the three parishes.
And from there, I think I went toJubilee Foods or did I go to McDonald's?
Everybody should work atMcDonald's for at least six months.
(35:00):
Because it would change your attitude.
And everybody should checkout, groceries for people.
at that time I had a lot ofmigraines because I had those.
Those flashing lights.
So it was hard for me to my dadto deal with having flashing
lights and check groceries out.
after that, I was accepted for Krock radio and the main office was
(35:22):
in Iron Mountain David Lee was themanager of that and he accepted me to
be the office manager for Marquettebecause we were satellite office.
So that's where we had.
Salespeople come in.
it was a really different experience.
when they wanted me to sell afterabout six or seven years, I said, no,
I don't really make a salesperson.
(35:43):
I resigned and I wentand did Meals on Wheels.
Seven seems to stick out because it seemslike every year that I worked, it was
almost seven years for a number of things.
So I did Meals on Wheelsfor quite some time.
And I used to wear my Halloweencostume because they love it.
I was Goldilocks and I took mythree bears in a basket with me,
(36:06):
giving the meals out to people.
That was fun, too.
So, and then after that, Mealson Wheels, I was getting towards
the end of not wanting to work.
Yeah, a lot of years of work.
well, my point is, you know, it's good tohave the same job for so many years, but
you don't meet the people that I've met.
(36:27):
Now that I'm retired, I don't meetas many people either, but there's
a lot of memories, so it's okay.
Stephanie (2) (36:33):
I think that you must have some sort of very unique and
brilliant personality to be so malleable.
even if we go back to, you movingaround when you grew up and then
going to the convent didn't seem likesuch a big deal to you, but I bet it
would be to Jim who needs the same.
And you are, a creative and adventurer.
(36:56):
I would almost say that you'refearless because well, truly,
Jan Grove (37:00):
this was not fearless to do this, but it was okay.
Stephanie (2) (37:04):
But really, you're diagnosed with breast cancer, you've got
two young boys and you're like, don't cry.
I'm not going to die.
there's something within you thatis so, I mean, I think it's gift.
Jan Grove (37:14):
It isn't something that I gave myself.
It's something that I wasgiven partly and partly was my
willingness to learn and to change.
And if we're not going to change,it's always going to be the same.
And I tell people, if you alwaysdid what you always done, you
always get what you always gotten.
Some people do the samething no matter what.
Stephanie (2) (37:35):
Right.
And they're not learning.
And I think that you've alwaysbeen A learner of life and
an observer and now I have
Jan Grove (37:41):
I used to do big bulletin boards when I was in the convent.
I mean, I'm talking this big wall.
I mean, I'm not talking alittle three by five cork board.
Well, now at Trinity Church in thelast few years, nobody was doing
anything and nobody was doing anything.
Somebody started it, but then leftit go, and I thought, I called
(38:01):
them up and said, you know, I don'twant to step on toes, but would you
like me to take over the boards?
I don't know where that camefrom, but it was something I did.
for the last few years, I changedbowling boards for seasons and times
right now I have a bowling board witha big daisy I made from my costume
and it's got a bubble bee by it andit says, be still, know that I'm God.
(38:27):
that one always struck me.
So that's a big bulletin board, butthat should tell people, give them a
gift of, we're so busy in our lives thatmaybe it's not a bad idea to be still.
Absolutely.
then we have another bulletin board,and that's for all the news items.
Because I told them, don't putany news item on my ballpark.
(38:50):
And then we have an entrance one,too, that when we come in the church,
right now, I say all are welcome.
that's my gift to me, too,because, I like doing that.
I trimmed the table.
I figure my house, I liketo make it look good.
And so this is God's house.
And now the people appreciate that.
I have a nice fall.
thing on the table, each table for years.
(39:13):
and so I don't have ajob, but I have a job.
Stephanie (2) (39:15):
You do.
You're using your gift of hospitality.
Jan, we've been talking for 45minutes already, which is wonderful.
And we didn't know exactly like whatwe would talk about, but I mean, I
could probably Take five phrases thatyou would tell people, like, be still
and know that I am God, what wouldyou say in closing, or are there other
(39:38):
things that you want to share aboutyour life, your experiences, or any
advice that you'd give us, listeners?
Jan Grove (39:48):
I've learned that advice is not so good to give sometimes because
People don't think like you do youcan share your experiences, but when
you say this or you should do thatI learned that's shooting on people.
So, to give anybody advice I wouldonly share what I've learned, maybe
(40:13):
there's one thing that strikes meright now, when my father in law
died, which would be Jim's father,
he was a wonderful man.
He was a hardworking man.
He was a big crab sometime.
I mean, you didn't know who you weregoing to get when you went over there.
when he was laying, in the funeral homehe was going to be cremated they lay
(40:39):
him out on a plywood board and theyput just a white cloth over, you know,
and you can go visit them as family.
It was just family there.
that was an experience.
nobody else was available to take him homefrom the cremation and I had to carry my
father in law home and bring him to home.
(41:01):
In the, in the vessel?
In this little plasticthing that's about this big.
the thought struck me, indeath, there is no sin.
I almost got a tear in my eye.
And that was another gift.
So, it's not really advice, butrealize that no matter what people
are like, in death, there is no sin.
Stephanie (2) (41:23):
love that.
And I, I don't know whyI thought of that, but.
That's all I can offer.
I think it is a beautifulthing to close with.
I think that your life is aninspiration and I so have enjoyed
you being a guest on this podcast.
Jan, I think
Jan Grove (41:38):
you should tell us your life someday, . Someday.
Someday.
And you know what?
I want everybody to knowhow wonderful Stephanie is.
she thinks everybody else is wonderful,but she forgets how wonderful she is.
Mm.
And I really appreciate that.
Thank you, Jan.
Stephanie (2) (41:54):
I didn't pay her to say that.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Thank you so much for listening.
If you've enjoyed this podcast,would you please rate it,
review it, like or subscribe?
You can find me on socialmedia at WautierWellness.com.
---, Dr.
Stephanie Wautier on Instagram,or Wautier Wellness Chiropractic
and Massage on Facebook.
(42:20):
I'm so curious where your nextconversation will take you.
Hi, this is Dr.
Stephanie Wautier and I'm the hostof Conversations with a Chiropractor.
This is not a health how to, butrather a conversation with some
amazing people I've had the pleasureof being with on my journey of life.
Think of it more like Tuesdays with Maury.
A fireside chat orchicken soup for the soul.
(00:27):
Grab a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoythis conversation with a chiropractor.
Jan, thank you so muchfor being on this podcast.
(00:48):
I was a little nervous aboutit, but I'm okay with it.
Well, you know, I said to someone whowas recording, the microphone being
in between us can sometimes seem likean obstacle, but you and I have had
conversations in this exact room,every time you come in, which has been
for years, we've known each other.
So we're friends, and this is justtwo friends having a conversation.
(01:11):
And that's okay.
That's really good.
So, you currently livein Ishbeming, Michigan.
But, but where were you born?
I was born in Escanaba.
Where you, where you were?
I was born in Escanaba.
Were you born at St.
Francis Hospital?
The original one on 16th Street.
Me too, but I don't thinkyou're old enough for that.
(01:31):
Are you?
I am.
I am old enough.
So you were born in Escanaba.
My twin was born about13 minutes before me.
Her name is Jeannie.
How was that, having a twin growing up?
that's the only thing Iknow besides having an older
sister and an older brother.
Jan Grove (01:50):
But my twin, for example, when we were about two or three
years old, my mother gave us somescissors to cut paper my twin cut
my bangs right down to my forehead.
I didn't know at that timethat that was a bad day.
Stephanie (02:07):
it was a very bad hair day.
I wonder if we polled people, how manywould have had either someone else or
they themselves cut their bangs short?
Jan Grove (02:16):
these were really bad.
I didn't have much hair to beginwith, so I look pretty pathetic.
She had the curly hair.
Stephanie (02:22):
So do you feel like there was a little bit of jealousy or competition?
Oh yeah,
Jan Grove (02:27):
We're just two different people.
we are not identical at all.
She has a different way of thinkingand I have the other way of thinking
most of the time, I was more creative.
more willing to step outand do something different.
she moved to New Jerseyafter she got married.
and I lived in Ishmael for like50 some years, but I traveled
(02:53):
a lot throughout my life.
we moved a lot.
Stephanie (02:55):
Was your husband in the service?
Is that why you moved a lot?
Jan Grove (02:58):
No, he wasn't in service for four years.
He was in the IBM and he had to havesome kind of clearance for what he did.
but when he got out of the service.
I got out of the convent.
Stephanie (03:15):
Now, this is something that we have to delve into.
How did you get into the convent?
Jan Grove (03:21):
At the time that I wanted to go in, we lived in Foster City.
we moved around a lot.
I lived in Rock and Perkinsand Foster City and St.
Nicholas because my dad and my motherwere, were farmers and they milk
cows and my dad was a cheesemaker.
So he had to go where he'd make cheese.
in the summertime, When I went toLongfellow School in Foster City,
(03:47):
the, the nuns from Racine, Wisconsin,they were Dominican sisters.
They would come and teach us for threeweeks about the Lord and religion
And I got to like them and Istarted thinking, well, maybe
I should go on the convent.
So after eighth grade, I went to St.
(04:07):
Catharine's in Racine, Wisconsin.
I did my high school years there.
In 10, 11, 12.
then I became a postulant andtook my first year of college.
the next year, I was a novicefor a year, which studied, a lot
about, Theology and the Lord, andit was considered the cloister.
(04:27):
So we do talking.
So it was all thinking and praying thenext year, I was a sophomore at Dominican
College and Racine, and I was still, Iwas a novice then and that year, I was
to be accepted into the Racine DominicansI decided at that time I was 21 and
(04:48):
thought, you know what I want a family.
So I did pick my name.
my sister name would have been SisterMary Kristin of Christ the King.
And but I told this mothersuperior that this was.
Not for me.
And then I really wanted tobe married and have children.
of course she cried.
that was in spring whenI left the convent.
(05:11):
And so that would have been in March,April, May, somewhere in there.
I went to Northern MichiganUniversity in a government
sponsored course, an IBM course.
that's where I met Jim, my husband,we each had, relationships going
on I started that in September,October, and then in March of the
(05:31):
next year, which was in 67, On St.
Patty's Day, I asked him ifhe wanted to take me out.
So we went and had a green
Stephanie (2) (05:39):
beer, and then we went to the movies.
That's a fun first date.
Now, I'm going to come back to Jim,but I want to rewind a little bit.
So here you are, a freshmanin high school, 15 years old,
4 to 5 hours away from home.
I mean, that must have I to get to Racine.
Alone.
That must have been really scary.
Jan Grove (06:01):
I might have been scared at times, but I didn't
really think of it as scary.
Stephanie (2) (06:06):
Did you, like, that must be part of, your adventurous spirit or
your Well, we moved so much, you know,
Jan Grove (06:11):
every few years we'd move here, move there, wherever
there was Work to be done.
And so if it wasn't on theVrbiki farm, it was on the Rock,
Creamery where my dad made cheese.
I went to school in Rock andPerkins Which are really small towns
Stephanie (2) (06:27):
people who don't know, like a blinking, a blinking yellow light.
So you became very adaptable.
I guess so.
You know, here you are the youngestwhat was your family life like?
would you say that yourmom and dad were loving?
Was it like Little House on the Prairiewhere you were having meals together?
Jan Grove (06:46):
No, I don't think so.
Stephanie (2) (06:47):
was okay.
Jan Grove (06:48):
I felt, you know, we were poor and it was fine.
I never thought myself as being poor.
I just was glad that wehad a lot of hand me downs.
I was the smallest and the youngestbecause my twin was 13 minutes
older than me, my older sisterwas 2 years older than me, and my
brother was 7 years older than me.
Of course, he died at an early age.
(07:09):
He died at 33.
He was married to his high schoolsweetheart, Levon, and they had
six children His 6th child wasnamed after my husband, Jim.
He was only 2 months old when mybrother died, but my brother had
juvenile diabetes, so he had lotsof challenges in his life too.
Stephanie (2) (07:28):
he
Jan Grove (07:28):
used to take me everywhere,
Stephanie (2) (07:29):
I remember that.
So he, like seven years old, oryou were like probably The little
sister that he could put me
Jan Grove (07:33):
yeah, he'd put me on his motorbike and off we'd go.
I was always holding awrench for him or something.
He was good to me.
And even my dad, he would call me Shrimp.
I was kind of his favorite.
So when everybody would wantsomething, they say, you go ask dad.
Of course he wouldn't say no.
Stephanie (2) (07:52):
He wasn't gonna say
Jan Grove (07:53):
no to
Stephanie (2) (07:54):
Jan.
Jan Grove (07:55):
So, and my mother was, I guess you could call her domineering,
but She was kind of the boss andtook care of a lot of things.
she was a strong woman.
Did your mom work as well?
Oh yeah.
She would be out at 5 30 inthe morning milking cows.
Stephanie (2) (08:12):
So your mom and dad did this together to sustain you,
to keep you fed and clothed and
Jan Grove (08:19):
Yeah, and we learned how to drive a tractor out in the cow field.
And I watched a calf be born and wecould feed the calf when they were
born and that was an experience.
people don't get that kind ofexperience in this day and age.
I can't even give thatto my grandchildren.
Stephanie (2) (08:38):
I think about this too, like, the food that you were
eating was so clean and pure.
Oh, it was.
Jan Grove (08:43):
And we learned to cook as girls.
my mother would say, well,who's going to cook today?
And who's going to do the dishes?
we had to take our turn.
Some of the kids nowadayssay, I don't do that.
Or they don't know how.
Or they weren't ever shown how.
so going to the convent or leaving homeat 15 or 14 it wasn't anything really.
(09:05):
It was just another, I don't knowif I could call it an adventure,
but it was another experience.
Stephanie (2) (09:11):
were you sort of pushed to do it?
Did you want to do it?
No, I wanted to.
You wanted to do it.
And I had a good life there.
You did.
Oh yeah, good experiences,a good education.
Tell us about what that was like.
How many girls were there with you?
Jan Grove (09:27):
In our class through St.
Catherine's, between the 9th and 12thgrade, there was 315 in our class.
Wow.
And I'm used to being in FosterCity with maybe 8 or 10 in your
class, like 7th and 8th grades.
So 315 was a lot of people.
I do remember that I was168 when I graduated.
I was the 168th, so I wasn't the dumbestperson, whatever you want to call it.
Stephanie (2) (09:52):
I was average, which is fine.
So you were taught by other nuns?
They were your teachers.
You lived in like a dormitory style.
Correct.
And we even lived in the
Jan Grove (10:02):
convent when I was a novice.
We lived in dormitories whenwe were going to high school.
And as postulants, we lived in a house.
And sometimes they were upto 30 of us in the house.
I mean, that was challenging livingwith a bunch of women sometimes because
I had to learn some self esteem andto stand up for myself and to realize
(10:27):
that not everybody will agree with you.
Stephanie (2) (10:29):
not everyone will like you.
Jan Grove (10:30):
Oh,
Stephanie (2) (10:31):
We're all going to be nuns and we're going to have harmony and, oh,
well, we had a lot of harmony, but we
Jan Grove (10:36):
had a lot of other stuff going on.
There was one person.
who was always critical of me.
So I had a real hard time with her.
I had to grow up in a different waythan what I was used to on a farm.
it wasn't exactly like running intocowboys with a disagreeable woman.
Stephanie (2) (10:53):
What a very different life experience.
Oh yeah.
Jan Grove (10:56):
It was, I could tell you lots of stories about my experiences,
but, We could be here forever.
Stephanie (2) (11:03):
did your folks write letters to you?
Did you get to go home and visit them?
We got to go home for,
Jan Grove (11:09):
Christmas.
And we got to go home for the summer.
And that's when we wouldhelp them on the farm.
And that's why I learned to drivetractor and take the old pickup boat
and learn to do stick shift in the mud.
Stephanie (2) (11:22):
Very self sufficient,
Jan Grove (11:24):
we learned to do a lot of things.
We learned to help outand, to do our part.
Stephanie (2) (11:30):
A very, you know, so many people would say that, well, what an
amazing experience that you were given.
when we talked a little bit beforeabout Wayne Dyer, one of the things
that I know he said was that hefeels that he was put on this earth
to be able to survive and then teachpeople how to survive, you know?
Jan Grove (11:50):
Well, I guess I've learned to survive because
I'm also a cancer survivor.
You are?
If you want to talk about surviving,when I was 46, I had a mammogram
and found out that I had cancer.
I can remember, we havetwo sons, Jim and I.
I can remember, when I came homeand told them that I had cancer
(12:13):
My oldest son started crying and Isaid, you can stop your crying now
because I'm not going to die and now
It's 30 some years later.
Wow.
And I'm still here.
So I must have a purpose and I think I do.
Stephanie (2) (12:28):
Yeah.
And how cool for your boys to see howstrong their mother was, you didn't
take that news as a death sentence.
you were like, okay, here we go.
This is another thing thatI'm going to get through.
Jan Grove (12:41):
And 30 some years ago, it wasn't as positive as it is now.
When they had their first Relayfor Life in Marquette, I walked
for udders, which I was a cow.
Stephanie (2) (12:50):
how fun!
It was.
we'll come back to your spunkfor Halloween in a moment.
But, I think that your attitude hasalways struck me as being so amazing.
you're just so positive.
You have perseverance that probablycame from your upbringing or maybe you
were just born with it because like yousaid your twin sister has a different
(13:11):
personality and outlook on life.
It doesn't
Jan Grove (13:13):
mean she's bad.
It's just that she's different.
Stephanie (2) (13:15):
Exactly.
And we're so different.
So, you decide to leave the conventand you go to Northern Michigan
University for these IBM classes.
Jan Grove (13:24):
when we learned to do key punching back then.
When they had thesebig cobalt machines and
Stephanie (2) (13:28):
Yeah.
What a different time.
That was different.
And then your firstdate with Jim is on St.
Patty's Day.
Jan Grove (13:34):
Yeah, that's, well, he befriended me a lot in class.
And of course the guys in class said, youknow, Jim, maybe you should go with her.
I didn't know that till later,but we just kind of hit it off.
and I was going to marry atall, dark and handsome guy.
Jim was not tall, dark and handsome.
he's not bad looking, butyou know, it wasn't the image
(13:55):
that you are when you're 21.
Stephanie (2) (13:57):
that's the funny thing, right?
About what our dreams and expectationsare versus What is reality you
got along and you fell in love.
Jan Grove (14:07):
it was not sparkles and, music or anything like that.
it was downright practical because,I realized there was something
about Jim that was loving andcaring, very responsible guy.
I came up with different wordsthan tall, dark and handsome.
Stephanie (2) (14:20):
Yeah,
Jan Grove (14:21):
right.
Stephanie (2) (14:21):
we'll definitely come back to your court.
How can I remember all this?
you wanted a tall, dark, andhandsome gentleman, and you got
this wonderful man who you'vebeen married to now for 57 years.
Yes.
Even though I've said to you in the past,like, oh, this must be stressful, you said
just now that you wouldn't change it, thatyou don't feel like things were stressful.
Jan Grove (14:48):
you can say that and you can realize it, but I don't
think of things as stressful.
It's something you have to face andmake the best of it, I always ask
the Lord to come with me for the day.
Maybe that helps.
And I think I've always done that.
Not more so now than when I was younger.
Stephanie (2) (15:08):
Because we talked about facing mortality,
Jan Grove (15:11):
yeah, as you get older and as things change.
and with my husband, facing somesickness this year, I never thought
of him as looking old, but whenhe's sleeping in his chair, I look
at him and think, Oh, grandpa.
Stephanie (2) (15:27):
How old is Jim?
Jim just turned 82.
for the very first time in yourwhole existence and marriage at 82,
he just now looks like a grandpa.
Jan Grove (15:37):
Well, he looks like his dad, which could be a great grandpa.
But, yeah, it's more intensethan, what I've faced before.
I always saw him differently.
when you're going through somechallenges, sometimes you lose a little
bit of that spark you got to realizethat everything isn't because Jim is a
very strong person with this sickness.
(15:58):
I've had to do a lot more things it'sstill okay because I'm always grateful
that I can do them, it's hard to watchhim go through and now that he's getting
a little more spark back, I can even
Stephanie (2) (16:11):
argue with
Jan Grove (16:11):
him a
Stephanie (2) (16:12):
little bit.
And you know, he's healthy, right?
If he's got enough spunk to startan argument or be sassy to you.
Jan Grove (16:21):
when we first went out, we went to a movie, the Godfather,
that movie was Somewhere My Love.
And that was one of our favorite songsand still is one of our favorites.
another favorite that we reallylike is could I have this
dance for the rest of my life
Stephanie (16:38):
with
Jan Grove (16:38):
Annemarie?
And, that's kind of sustainedus through certain things.
we find things that, we lookback on that make us happy.
So that helps.
Stephanie (2) (16:47):
Yeah.
to sort of have that memory or thatremembrance of you know, this is
us together and this is why we fellin love or how we fell in love.
Jan Grove (16:56):
when we were going through it, we didn't realize how
it was going to affect our lives.
Stephanie (2) (17:00):
would you say that Jim is a romantic person,
Jan Grove (17:04):
quietly romantic, you know, he's not real showy, but I
know, some people are very emotionaland show, you know, Jim will show it,
but he'll show it gently and quietly.
And you just have to know that.
Stephanie (2) (17:20):
Exactly.
I love that book, the five love languages.
do you know about that?
for some people, they might receive love.
In gift giving, or they might givelove in gift giving, but regardless
of if you both have read the book,you know, each other so well after
57 years that you are content andhappy with how he's showing love.
Jan Grove (17:42):
Yeah, and he was never a gift giver let's see, we got married
in July and in November, I waspregnant because I was thrown up.
She went to the doctor.
Well, when I had our first son,he bought a dozen yellow roses.
I gave him a yellow rose to carryfor our wedding, and I carry daisies.
(18:03):
But anyway, he bought these dozenyellow roses, and the lady in the
room with me was allergic to them.
You had a roommate?
Yes.
her name was Elizabeth the roses had tosit out in the hallway, so I would have
never expected him to buy roses for me.
(18:23):
So five years later, when we had oursecond son, I said, don't buy me roses.
Don't buy me flowers.
I think he bought me an orange dress,
but orange just reminds me of a pumpkin.
I wore it, but I wouldtease him once in a while.
(18:47):
But he's not a real giftgiver, he gives in other ways.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if we can go thereor not, but on my dad's deathbed.
Yes.
Um, did I ever tell you that?
No.
What happened on my dad's deathbed?
No.
Well, on a Friday, we went to seehim because he was in the hospital
and they were suctioning him out, andhe was having a hard time breathing.
(19:09):
we visited as much as we could andthen we left the following Tuesday.
my mother called and said that dad died.
And I said, was he trying toguess for air when he died?
And she said, no.
He was very peaceful, but hesaid, tell Janice that I'm sorry
for giving her licking with aleather belt when she was dying.
Oh my God.
(19:29):
And I'm going, oh my God.
Stephanie (2) (19:33):
I mean,
Jan Grove (19:34):
how much more can you feel love?
Yes.
You know, and I said tomy mother, I said, well.
I remember that day I was being a snot.
Stephanie (2) (19:43):
Wow.
And he carried that all thoseyears, that remorse, that regret.
Jan Grove (19:49):
I didn't.
Stephanie (2) (19:51):
You know, I love to hear that, like that, I mean, yeah,
you're right, like, how loved were you?
Like, he, on his deathbed, andhow old were you when he passed?
27.
27.
So for, I won't do the math.
40 some
Jan Grove (20:05):
years.
Stephanie (2) (20:06):
Yeah.
Jan Grove (20:07):
Hmm.
it was, yeah, back in 74.
Stephanie (2) (20:10):
Wow.
April, I
Jan Grove (20:11):
my brother had just died in January of that year.
Oh, how hard for your whole family.
I had a hard time.
I didn't realize that I had to say goodbyeto my brother and I could tell him that.
It took 14 years for somebody to sayyou can talk to your brother, you know.
Mmm.
You do this through yourlife and you, you know.
(20:31):
You learn.
Stephanie (2) (20:32):
Are we on here?
yeah, we're recording.
Jan Grove (20:35):
Well, I thought we, I thought we weren't and I just bring
that up because I think it's good to,
Stephanie (2) (20:39):
to talk about these natural and normal things.
Yeah.
Jan Grove (20:42):
And you know, what I, what I found out from my experience
with my father seeing that is.
I see God in a different way.
I don't see him as a punisher or anything.
I see him, I think we can relate to ourfather and have some relational thing with
(21:02):
God, If you didn't have a good experiencewith your father, then there's a different
way Of getting to the loving God because,you don't have that experience of father.
Stephanie (2) (21:14):
You had a beautiful loving relationship with your dad.
Jan Grove (21:17):
Yeah.
So it was different than most kids have.
He didn't spoil me.
If I wanted cashews, when he'dstop and have a beer at a bar,
would you like some cashews?
He'd bring me a bag of cashews.
He didn't, I wouldn't say hespoiled me, he just showed.
(21:38):
He gave you a treat,
Stephanie (2) (21:39):
he showed you his love in that way.
Jan Grove (21:41):
Yeah, and my mother did it in different ways.
some people don't agree with me and it'sfine, but I think God is mother too.
That's my experience, not everybody's.
Stephanie (2) (21:52):
I think it's hard for people to wrap their head around
and, you didn't stay a Catholic.
No, I
Jan Grove (21:58):
didn't.
It was in 1998, I had a friend whogoes to Trinity Lutheran Church in
Ishbeming, her name is Mary, and sheencouraged us to come to her church,
my church, I had an experience thatwas very hurtful, and I had to live
through it, um, it was Lent that year,and I was hurt by, what they did to me.
(22:19):
just because they didn't agree withme, they got rid of me, I can remember
going to the bottom of the crossthat year and saying, father, forgive
them for they know not what they do.
I kind of related with that,
where were we going with this,a friend of yours invited church
to Trinity Lutheran church.
And, we've been there ever since.
(22:41):
And, I found out that it doesn'tmatter what church is in, there's
always going to be some kind of.
Stuff going on.
that isn't so sweet.
Stephanie (2) (22:49):
I think it was Gandhi who said, I love your Jesus, but I don't like
your Christians or something like that.
Yeah, we are all human and sometimesa bad representation of who God is.
Jan Grove (23:02):
Yeah.
Stephanie (2) (23:03):
And, you know,
Jan Grove (23:05):
none of us has it.
I don't care what church you go to.
So it doesn't matter.
Although, when you, I found out inmy, in my life, I don't even know
if I want to share this, but whenyou don't like something in somebody
that really bugs you, you canrelate it to, um, filing your nails.
(23:29):
And you might be a littlebit like that yourself.
So the file will take thatlittle sharp edge off.
If you can recognize that.
Oh, yeah, she has something I don't like.
And you know what?
Maybe I'm that way too.
Stephanie (2) (23:41):
I have heard that.
there could be a character traitthat really annoys you in someone,
but it's because it's so closelyto what you are, what you do.
I mean, and I think that'shumility and growth, right?
it was a different realizationthan what I thought about.
You told me once that you went tothese classes, was it at Northern?
at some point in your life,you took these classes.
(24:05):
To, be a better person or something.
What am I thinking about?
Jan Grove (24:09):
A lot of my classes seem to make me a better person,
whether I want to be or not.
Maybe I was referring to, taking thoseEnneagram tests and Meyer Briggs?
Yes.
Boy, you can learn a lot.
Absolutely.
I found out that I have a gift ofhospitality that I didn't realize.
I knew I was that way, but, I accepted it.
(24:31):
So that was from Myers Briggs, I believe.
it's something about feeling, sensing.
Well, yes.
Like EFTJ or.
Yeah.
I can't remember.
I think I was FN something J.
Stephanie (2) (24:45):
Are you
Jan Grove (24:45):
an extrovert or an introvert?
I'm on the borderline.
I'm more introverted.
When I found that out,I thought introvert.
but see, I've learned to do someskills that would help me, because
people don't see me as an introvert.
Stephanie (2) (25:01):
No, people would say you're very outgoing And I'm
not, I love introverted stuff.
You get rejuvenated by justhaving that alone time.
Jan Grove (25:10):
Quiet music.
when I went to that fashionshow last night, I had a ball.
I think it might have been the sweets.
they sure offered enough things, and itwas right in front of us on the table.
And I'm thinking, I camehere with the idea that I was
maybe going to have one thing.
Oh, I must have had four.
Well, that's very unusual
Stephanie (2) (25:29):
for you.
Stephanie (25:30):
it
Stephanie (2) (25:30):
You're a diabetic.
I am.
And you take really good care of yourself.
I try to, yes.
You exercise, you stretch, you'revery active outside in your yard.
What would you say to someone who'shaving trouble, doing something
to take care of themselves?
Or maybe somebody doesn'thave your positive attitude.
What would you say to them?
(25:52):
As an encouragement,
Jan Grove (25:53):
I could say to my son, Dan, he's also diabetic.
when I became diabetic, Ihad polymyalgia and was on,
prednisone for like three years.
polymyalgia often comes, or happensin, in women who are Norwegian
ancestry or Finnish or one of those.
(26:14):
I, I couldn't move.
I, I didn't know what was happening to me.
So for three years, I took prednisoneand my, sugar started climbing my numbers
were like for diabetic numbers, likeyour glucose was over eight, which is, I
was dizzy a lot and I didn't feel good.
And so I took some classesoffered by Bell Memorial Hospital.
(26:36):
I think her last name was Carlson.
She showed us the pyramidand I kind of followed that.
And I lost 40 pounds that kindof helped too because I was 180
pounds and I'm only five feet tall.
And so I thought, I want to feel better.
(26:57):
even though this pregnazonewasn't making me feel better.
I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist.
I like to follow rules andI like to disagree also.
I just.
Thought I want to be better.
So it took me a few years.
You don't magically get better,overnight from stuff like that then
curves came into tone and I becamethe weight manager person I taught
(27:21):
weight management and I told the girls
We're always stars I said yougo out on your porch stretch
your arms out and say I'm a star
Stephanie (27:29):
Mm
Jan Grove (27:29):
I said, no matter what anybody thinks, and I can remember telling
them that, um, what you buy, you eat.
So if you buy a big bag ofchips, you're going to eat it
because they're really good.
But if you buy the smaller bags.
You only have to deal with 15 grams ofcarbs, which you can have for a snack.
(27:50):
So I learned and taught what I learned andI became close to the women that I taught
and shared stuff with that helped me too.
Mm hmm,
Stephanie (2) (28:00):
like being a mentor.
Yeah, and that probably solidifiesyour own health decisions, right?
Cause if you're telling someone to doit, then you have that authenticity that
you're going to be doing it yourself.
Jan Grove (28:12):
That's how I learned to tell them because I said,
I know what works for me.
Your numbers aren't always great, but,they're better because you're trying.
And then of course, we had acurves book that suggested diets
and stuff and you don't reallycall you saying you're on a diet.
You say you're making good choices.
You can change that too.
So it doesn't feel so restrictiveand, you can have anything.
(28:36):
You just can't have a lot of it.
Stephanie (2) (28:38):
Those are all really great things to think about
because so many people are likeeither on a diet or off a diet.
they don't think of the choices thatthey make, you thought of your weight
loss as just a way to make your bodyfeel better and be healthier, where
so many people maybe are caughtup in the physical look, right?
Like, I want to get into this sizegene, or I want to look like this, or
Jan Grove (29:01):
that's not a reality either, because no matter how bad
you think you want to be in a.
It's not going to happen all the time.
It can't happen all the time.
It comes partly from your heredity, too.
And partly what you do with yourbody Now that I'm getting older,
I have this nice little bulgeright in the middle of my body.
And I think, Do I accept that or do Itry and do these things that make me feel
(29:25):
uncomfortable for stretches and stuff?
So I think, well, I'lljust do the best I can.
absolutely.
And you wear a bigger
Stephanie (2) (29:32):
top.
You always look good.
tell me how Sometimes on Halloween youcome dressed as a bee or as Dorothy.
Where did your fun for costuming come in?
Jan Grove (29:48):
I love, not really scaring people, but I think
that might be there in my blood.
I love just being silly cause youcan be somebody that you're not.
And I've done a number ofcostumes throughout my life.
I started with a cowcostume walking for others.
then I did a bee costume, that issomething with Relay for Life for cancer,
(30:11):
and I don't know, I just, I, I, seethings like maybe in a, in a Vinny's
or Goodwill or something, I say, Oh,that would make a, a cute sweater to
wear, and then Make a daisy flower youcan wear around your face because my
daughter in law borrowed my bee costume.
So I went and visited her at her workat Valenti, the American County Medical
(30:35):
Care Facility, and I was a daisy.
I was a flower.
when I was working for, the threechurches, I was their secretary.
I had a friend that was,coordinator for the younger kids,
like, kindergarten, first grade.
Her name is Annie.
one year, we decided to go toWestwood and visit the, board.
(30:59):
we knocked on the door.
she was a hunter and she put likewhiskers all over her face and she
had a old man's half of a mask onand she was dressed like a hunter
and I had made myself a deer costume.
So she knocks on the door to thesuperintendent and says, would you
like to go hunting with me and my deer?
They chased us out of there real quick.
(31:19):
They didn't appreciate that.
I guess not, but we had funand I love to be a witch.
So I've done a number of witch costumesand when my granddaughter, Harley was
13, she was on the basketball team.
I also at the time did, red hats.
And so I decorated my garage with thehelp of my grandson, Tyler, in black.
(31:44):
Tablecloths, so it looked like a cave.
that was quite the job, but hestapled all these black tablecloths
throughout the whole thing.
So it was like a big black cave.
And then I made a photo booth.
So people, could take their photosWe could do some pumpkin cutting.
instead of using scissors, we ripped apumpkin out and had a pumpkin contest
(32:06):
I made different food, like mudpudding and a little pumpkin thing.
I had the red hats come over and we hada witches ball, they were all witches.
So we had a, I have a albumof those, those pictures.
Oh my gosh.
And that's the same year, Hardy was 13.
We had a party for the girls.
But that's girls.
(32:27):
They, I think they had a ball if theydidn't, I'm certain if they denied, did.
So I was a different witch then.
I still have witch costumes.
my mother says, you shouldnot have a witch in the house.
I couldn't really buy that.
I said, mom, witches aren't fun.
She says, no, they're,bad for you or something.
I said, I think they're cute.
I don't care if they're ugly or not.
(32:47):
'cause I like the Wizard of Oz.
Yes, exactly.
that's when I decided to beDorothy a couple years ago.
you were adorable, Dorothy.
I still have that costume and once in awhile I reincarnate that costume, but this
year I'm going to be somebody different.
Stephanie (2) (32:59):
Oh, I can't wait to see.
We'll have to make sure that weget you scheduled on October 31st.
I think this is so cool that you havesuch a zest for life and such gumption.
I didn't know this until awhile ago, but you actually had
a job at a radio station too.
Jan Grove (33:13):
I always wanted to work with men, you see, because
I did so many things with women.
I wanted to work with men.
They were all gifts to me.
because they respected mesometimes I was their mother.
But, George was quite special.
he's away from here now.
His daughter still lives in Ishring.
(33:34):
it was quite the experience.
my husband has had thecable job since 1964.
I mean, that's a lot of years.
Yes.
And that's fine for him,because that's what he likes.
But I'm grateful for all theexperiences I've had, because
I've had so many different jobs.
I stayed home with my boys.
For the first 15 years I was a transplant.
(33:56):
I didn't know anybody in Ishpeming.
That was really hard, Because itwas hard to get to know people but
throughout the years I've gotten toknow them my first job was at Mather
Nursing Center as a certified nursingassistant Which was a good thing.
I thought I wanted to be a nurse Well,maybe not I mean, I could be a good
nurse, but I didn't want to be a nurse.
(34:18):
I went to Northern to do office services.
I did some temping at Northern after that.
I took that test that you have totake and I did some of that tempting.
That was interesting,but it was hard on my.
Yeah, fitting, fitting typing andlearning and, I was in the conference
department with Judy Place she wasgood to me, but it was hard work.
(34:39):
I did some temping for manpower.
after that.
I worked at the CCD Center for sevenyears as secretary for the three parishes.
And from there, I think I went toJubilee Foods or did I go to McDonald's?
Everybody should work atMcDonald's for at least six months.
(35:00):
Because it would change your attitude.
And everybody should checkout, groceries for people.
at that time I had a lot ofmigraines because I had those.
Those flashing lights.
So it was hard for me to my dadto deal with having flashing
lights and check groceries out.
after that, I was accepted for Krock radio and the main office was
(35:22):
in Iron Mountain David Lee was themanager of that and he accepted me to
be the office manager for Marquettebecause we were satellite office.
So that's where we had.
Salespeople come in.
it was a really different experience.
when they wanted me to sell afterabout six or seven years, I said, no,
I don't really make a salesperson.
(35:43):
I resigned and I wentand did Meals on Wheels.
Seven seems to stick out because it seemslike every year that I worked, it was
almost seven years for a number of things.
So I did Meals on Wheelsfor quite some time.
And I used to wear my Halloweencostume because they love it.
I was Goldilocks and I took mythree bears in a basket with me,
(36:06):
giving the meals out to people.
That was fun, too.
So, and then after that, Mealson Wheels, I was getting towards
the end of not wanting to work.
Yeah, a lot of years of work.
well, my point is, you know, it's good tohave the same job for so many years, but
you don't meet the people that I've met.
(36:27):
Now that I'm retired, I don't meetas many people either, but there's
a lot of memories, so it's okay.
Stephanie (2) (36:33):
I think that you must have some sort of very unique and
brilliant personality to be so malleable.
even if we go back to, you movingaround when you grew up and then
going to the convent didn't seem likesuch a big deal to you, but I bet it
would be to Jim who needs the same.
And you are, a creative and adventurer.
(36:56):
I would almost say that you'refearless because well, truly,
Jan Grove (37:00):
this was not fearless to do this, but it was okay.
Stephanie (2) (37:04):
But really, you're diagnosed with breast cancer, you've got
two young boys and you're like, don't cry.
I'm not going to die.
there's something within you thatis so, I mean, I think it's gift.
Jan Grove (37:14):
It isn't something that I gave myself.
It's something that I wasgiven partly and partly was my
willingness to learn and to change.
And if we're not going to change,it's always going to be the same.
And I tell people, if you alwaysdid what you always done, you
always get what you always gotten.
Some people do the samething no matter what.
Stephanie (2) (37:35):
Right.
And they're not learning.
And I think that you've alwaysbeen A learner of life and
an observer and now I have
Jan Grove (37:41):
I used to do big bulletin boards when I was in the convent.
I mean, I'm talking this big wall.
I mean, I'm not talking alittle three by five cork board.
Well, now at Trinity Church in thelast few years, nobody was doing
anything and nobody was doing anything.
Somebody started it, but then leftit go, and I thought, I called
(38:01):
them up and said, you know, I don'twant to step on toes, but would you
like me to take over the boards?
I don't know where that camefrom, but it was something I did.
for the last few years, I changedbowling boards for seasons and times
right now I have a bowling board witha big daisy I made from my costume
and it's got a bubble bee by it andit says, be still, know that I'm God.
(38:27):
that one always struck me.
So that's a big bulletin board, butthat should tell people, give them a
gift of, we're so busy in our lives thatmaybe it's not a bad idea to be still.
Absolutely.
then we have another bulletin board,and that's for all the news items.
Because I told them, don't putany news item on my ballpark.
(38:50):
And then we have an entrance one,too, that when we come in the church,
right now, I say all are welcome.
that's my gift to me, too,because, I like doing that.
I trimmed the table.
I figure my house, I liketo make it look good.
And so this is God's house.
And now the people appreciate that.
I have a nice fall.
thing on the table, each table for years.
(39:13):
and so I don't have ajob, but I have a job.
Stephanie (2) (39:15):
You do.
You're using your gift of hospitality.
Jan, we've been talking for 45minutes already, which is wonderful.
And we didn't know exactly like whatwe would talk about, but I mean, I
could probably Take five phrases thatyou would tell people, like, be still
and know that I am God, what wouldyou say in closing, or are there other
(39:38):
things that you want to share aboutyour life, your experiences, or any
advice that you'd give us, listeners?
Jan Grove (39:48):
I've learned that advice is not so good to give sometimes because
People don't think like you do youcan share your experiences, but when
you say this or you should do thatI learned that's shooting on people.
So, to give anybody advice I wouldonly share what I've learned, maybe
(40:13):
there's one thing that strikes meright now, when my father in law
died, which would be Jim's father,
he was a wonderful man.
He was a hardworking man.
He was a big crab sometime.
I mean, you didn't know who you weregoing to get when you went over there.
when he was laying, in the funeral homehe was going to be cremated they lay
(40:39):
him out on a plywood board and theyput just a white cloth over, you know,
and you can go visit them as family.
It was just family there.
that was an experience.
nobody else was available to take him homefrom the cremation and I had to carry my
father in law home and bring him to home.
(41:01):
In the, in the vessel?
In this little plasticthing that's about this big.
the thought struck me, indeath, there is no sin.
I almost got a tear in my eye.
And that was another gift.
So, it's not really advice, butrealize that no matter what people
are like, in death, there is no sin.
Stephanie (2) (41:23):
love that.
And I, I don't know whyI thought of that, but.
That's all I can offer.
I think it is a beautifulthing to close with.
I think that your life is aninspiration and I so have enjoyed
you being a guest on this podcast.
Jan, I think
Jan Grove (41:38):
you should tell us your life someday, . Someday.
Someday.
And you know what?
I want everybody to knowhow wonderful Stephanie is.
she thinks everybody else is wonderful,but she forgets how wonderful she is.
Mm.
And I really appreciate that.
Thank you, Jan.
Stephanie (2) (41:54):
I didn't pay her to say that.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Thank you so much for listening.
If you've enjoyed this podcast,would you please rate it,
review it, like or subscribe?
You can find me on socialmedia at WautierWellness.com.
---, Dr.
Stephanie Wautier on Instagram,or Wautier Wellness Chiropractic
and Massage on Facebook.
(42:20):
I'm so curious where your nextconversation will take you.
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