October 13, 2024 • 27 mins
From Profound Loss to Community Healing: Moxie Moms 906 | Conversations With a Chiropractor
In this heartfelt episode of Conversations With a Chiropractor, Dr. Stephanie Wautier speaks with Megan, founder of Moxie Moms 906. Megan shares her journey through the loss of her daughter Delaney, which inspired the creation of Moxie Moms 906, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting mothers who’ve experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. This episode honors Delaney and the community’s collective grief, highlighting the strength found in shared healing.
🎧 In This Episode, Discover:
- The birth of Moxie Moms 906 and its mission to help grieving mothers.
- How Megan transformed her personal grief into advocacy and community building.
- The importance of creating community spaces for healing.
🔗 Stay Connected & Support Moxie Moms 906:
- Moxie Moms 906 Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558925377942
- Moxie Moms Events: https://allevents.in/org/moxiemoms/24819494
📅 Event Information:
- Wave of Light Memorial Service:
- Date: October 15, 2024
- Time: 7:00 PM (arrive earlier, the candles will be lit at 7pm)
- Location: Presque Isle Park Pavilion, Marquette, MI
- Details: This memorial service will honor the short lives of babies lost too soon. Families are invited to light a candle in remembrance. If you cannot attend, you can request a candle to be lit on your behalf.
🔗 Stay Connected & Support Us:
- Follow Us on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@ConversationswithaChiro
- Follow Us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/wautierwellness
- Email Us for Show-Related Inquiries and Sponsorships: drstephaniewautier@yahoo.com
Dedication: This episode is dedicated to Delaney, and to the resilient community of mothers who have experienced such profound loss. Your courage and stories of healing will forever be honored.
Credits:
- Podcast production by Brand|Sound. Start your podcast journey by emailing brandsoundpodcasts@gmail.com.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to Conversations with a Chiropractor
00:41 Meet Megan: Founder of Moxie Moms 906
00:52 The Birth of Moxie Moms: A Journey of Healing
03:14 Creating a Community of Support
05:46 Navigating Personal Grief and Advocacy
16:40 The Global Wave of Light Event
23:44 Closing Thoughts and Dedication to Delaney
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:04):
Hi, this is Dr.
Stephanie Watt here, and I'm the hostof Conversations with a Chiropractor.
This is not a health how to, butrather a conversation with some
amazing people I've had the pleasureof being with on my journey of life.
Think of it more like Tuesdays with Maury.
A fireside chat orchicken soup for the soul.
(00:27):
Grab a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoythis conversation with a chiropractor.
Stephanie (00:42):
Today I am joined by the founder of Moxie Moms 906, Megan.
Megan, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you.
I'm
Megan (00:49):
honored.
I truly am.
Thank you for having me.
Stephanie (00:52):
It's October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month.
Megan (00:56):
Yes,
Stephanie (00:56):
it is.
And Moxie
Moms is an inclusive non profitorganization deeply dedicated
to supporting mothers who haveexperienced the profound loss of a
baby through stillbirth or miscarriage.
Yes.
So you have started this non profit inMarquette, Michigan, which is so amazing.
it's pretty new, right?
Yes.
Megan (01:16):
So we started in This year, February was when I got everything going.
And, but this has been somethingthat's been in my mind and my heart
since I lost my daughter in 2021.
So this has been something that I'vebeen working on and working through.
And it just, Everything came at theright moment this year, and I was able
(01:40):
to really put it out there and findthese beautiful, amazing, intelligent
women and birthing people in ourcommunity that wanted to help support.
So
Stephanie (01:50):
when you lost your daughter in 2021, would you say that you
felt there was a lack of support,like a lack of community resources
Megan (01:57):
completely?
It was so isolating to have gone throughthat and then to really not have anybody
understand or be able to connect withon that type of loss and on that level.
Because for the most part, people justwant to Not talk about it and want to
shut it down because it's so uncomfortableto talk about the loss of a child You
(02:20):
know so it's something that I was soisolated in and I knew that I Needed for
my healing my own healing and to processthis grief and trauma that I went through
that I needed to share and connect withpeople that I understood on a level of,
the physical level, what I went through,what my body was going to continue to
(02:42):
go through on an emotional level anda spiritual, all different levels.
it was just such a profoundexperience to be isolated in that
I Really couldn't contain it.
I needed to share my story withpeople that understood and that's
really how everything evolved.
it was just, I was justneeded to get it out.
(03:05):
And it, I think it benefited me.
And then, Turned into moxie moms.
Stephanie (03:12):
Yeah.
And you've already done so much.
You've got the community garden.
Yes.
Downtown Marquette.
Tell us a little bit about that.
Megan (03:19):
So we have a green space.
So it's a memorial, that people can go to.
we've had different organizationsaround town donate flowers.
It is a beautiful space.
So It's come, it's literally come tolife, and we have had multiple events
where we have brought rocks for peopleto be able to write, their, either their
(03:40):
last name, the date of their loss, theirchild or infant's name on these rocks.
And then we have them stamp it.
So they are placed allthroughout the memorial garden.
And actually, the NorthernConstruction Club is donating a bench.
So we just got the renderingsthis week of the bench.
So they'll be a bench there with a plaque.
(04:01):
And it's just a spot forpeople to come and find solace.
And, be able to reallymemorialize or just sit and think.
It's a beautiful spot that, It justshows that we are and that this
community is here to support howeverwe can, even if it's just going and
(04:22):
sitting there, that's our mission.
So it's
Stephanie (04:25):
beautiful.
It's amazing.
And you've got a Facebook page.
Yes.
Megan (04:29):
Yes.
So we have two different Facebook pages.
We do have a community Facebookpage where anybody can join.
We post all of our events there.
And then if you've,experienced a loss yourself.
We do have a private group.
It's a safe space for people to sharestories and, it's a little, it's private,
so you get an invite to it, but I'm morethan happy to share it with anybody.
(04:53):
And there's a lot of people that have notdirectly experienced loss that are in that
group that are just there to understandhow to show support for somebody that
they love that has gone through it.
So
we share some deeper resources on that.
more private page, but it's opento anybody that wants to be a part
of it, to learn more, to advocate,to share the resources and yeah, so
Stephanie (05:16):
that's amazing.
Something that our community definitelywas lacking and needed and you're filling
this need from the void based of yourown, horrible, tragic experiences.
Yes,
Megan (05:28):
it was, like I said, something that I just inside me, why?
.... Is there not something out there forfamilies like mine that have experienced
this loss that really have nowhere toturn and have no resources outside of,
being discharged from the hospital?
I had so many things that happened to mybody after having a baby but not leaving
(05:52):
with a baby that I wasn't informedabout, that I wasn't, educated on.
And that's I had wonderful care.
My experience, though I wish itupon nobody, my experience with
the health care was phenomenal.
And part of that is, theirlack of resources as well.
(06:16):
And it takes a specific person tobe able to step up in a stranger's
darkest hour to provide that type ofcompassion and empathy when you don't
know what they're going through, butyou know that it's the darkest, deepest
thing that they've ever experienced.
So I can't say enough good things aboutthe care that my husband and I received.
(06:41):
but yeah, it was just,overwhelming the lack of resources
afterwards and to have to.
experience all of that physically andthen to have to go online and seek out
resources for myself, for my husband,for our daughter, our living daughter.
it was hard.
It was, but also it opened up my eyesto what This community was lacking.
(07:06):
And so we've done and built a lot ofgreat things because of that experience.
And, yeah, it's just been,
Stephanie (07:17):
I don't know if you want to go to this place.
Do you want to talk a little bit aboutwhat some of those unexpected things were
that were happening to your body or not?
You don't have to.
Yeah.
Megan (07:27):
A lot of the times, as as a mom, there's a lot of different things that
happen to your body after you give birth.
Okay.
And that doesn't changewhen your baby doesn't live.
Okay.
So
your body still goes through, the hormonalprocesses, the postpartum, all of that.
Your milk still comes in
and these
are just continuous things that nobodyreally prepares you for when you
(07:52):
leave the hospital without your baby.
and a lot of other women thatI have spoke with and birthing
people that have experienced losshave talked about their postpartum
anxiety and postpartum depressionand psychosis that had happened.
But it's not.
Looked at like it would be ifwe had a child to bring home.
(08:14):
So there's just It's
Stephanie (08:17):
a
Megan (08:17):
you not
Stephanie (08:17):
validated like it's not as it's taken as seriously because
correct you didn't come home with a baby
Megan (08:23):
right but my body didn't know that,
so it was a lot of, figuring out on myown and it was hard, but being able to
relate to people that have gone throughthis experience has been so healing
and Purposeful, it, it just gives meso much hope in this organization and
(08:48):
what we're doing and our mission and tocontinue being an advocate and sharing my
stories and, getting people involved insomething that's pretty, pretty important.
Taboo and not talked about and it'simportant that we do talk about it
Stephanie (09:02):
Absolutely, and it's important even for people like me, you know I'm
not a therapist, but I do talk to mypatients as they're coming in And I
might have to give them a resource Imight not know what to do for them or how
to do it but if I could direct them tosomeone who could give them the resources
I'm sure that there are therapiststhat you're connecting with, people
(09:25):
that can help in that grief process.
Yeah, and it's really a
Megan (09:29):
specific, population of people that are going through this.
So it's a, it's, you need a specifichealth care provider that has the
extra experience, extra credential inmaternal wellness and that type of brief
and grief and bereavement and loss.
(09:50):
So really there wasn't.
Anything up here that really wasavailable right when I needed
it, the second I was discharged.
So I actually found an organizationout of Ferndale downstate.
So I am still with them.
I do telehealth, but theyspecialize in maternal mental
health and reoccurring loss.
(10:13):
like all of these specificcategories of loss that the average
Stephanie (10:20):
therapist might not have experience with, right?
And might not do thatclient justice, right?
So
Megan (10:27):
it was definitely a lot of research that I needed to put
in to find somebody that was ableto really help in my diagnosis.
darkest time and then whenI needed help the most.
yeah, I can share that resource becausethey are, they were a game changer for me.
That's
Stephanie (10:45):
wonderful.
Megan (10:46):
And they do telehealth and it's called Honey for Moms.
Stephanie (10:50):
Oh, I love it.
yeah.
Yeah.
It's sad to me that you had totry to navigate the, navigate
this on your own when you're goingthrough this deep loss of a child.
. And you're having all of these physicalthings happen and you're scrambling.
in the dark to try tofind where can I get help?
Yeah.
who can help me?
. Megan: Yeah.
And it.
(11:10):
It's what I had to do.
I had to do it for my husband.
I had to do it for our living daughter.
I had to find a way to comeback to being Megan again.
And finding that part of me thatI so easily could have lost.
That so easily couldhave taken who I am away.
And I knew that I neededto do that for them.
(11:32):
I Maybe not so much for myself,but I needed to do that for them.
And so that was really what drove me tocontinue to seek out help and resources
and really advocate for women that haveexperienced this and birthing people
that don't have the support system that,that I had to be able to get through
(11:53):
something like this, because it's.
It's amazing how easily you can connectwith a complete stranger on something
that you've both experienced like this.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because I couldn't even fathom that.
I really, I haven't lost a child, Ihaven't lost a pregnancy, and I can't
have, I can't have that exact same notionof that, enormity of the grief, you
Megan (12:17):
know?
yeah.
Yeah.
And it's, it's not If it's when becauseone in four women experience this or
one in four birthing people experiencethis type of loss So even if you've
not directly experienced it yourselfYou are going to know somebody and love
somebody that is going to go through thisit's not if it's is So just having that
(12:39):
Communication as well and being able toshare I know this resource for somebody
because It's there, it exists, and I loveyou, so here it is, how can I support you?
So it's just, we needeverybody to be involved.
Stephanie (12:53):
We do, and we need everyone to be aware.
I do have several friends who'vehad infertility struggles and or
who've lost several babies, andyeah, I think that societally,
we want people to move on, right?
Just get over it, just move on, that'sthe societal expectation, there isn't
(13:13):
this sort of grace, this sort of spacethat we should really give for this grief.
Yeah.
That's why I really love the idea thatthis bench will be there because it
can be very personal and very privateand that might be the first step
that a woman takes to healing fromthat grief or processing that grief.
Megan (13:32):
Yeah.
And it's something that if you've gonethrough loss, you never forget, you can't.
And as a person that's gonethrough multiple losses, it's
there and it's always there.
So being able to provide an ear or a hugto people that understand that are going
through it and to just say, I'm here,whatever you need, I've made some changes.
(13:54):
Yeah.
connections with people aroundthe community by just sharing my
story and saying, I know exactlywhat you're going through.
I know exactly how you feel.
And not only that, butholding that in, you see it.
It damages you.
Yes.
you've seen how much of a mess mybody has been from stress and loss.
(14:16):
it's not, healthy.
No,
Stephanie (14:19):
it's not.
It absolutely isn't.
So I so commend you not only for beingso diligent with your own health and
healing and doing this for your husbandand your daughter, but just saying,
I'm going to do this for the communitybecause there was a need that I saw.
Yeah.
I'm I think it's astounding thatyou've started this organization.
(14:39):
Thank you.
Megan (14:39):
it's evolved so much and the help and support.
We have a board of, I believe there's10 of us or there's nine of us.
So we have a ton ofsupport and we're just.
We're growing and we just want thecommunity to know that we're here
because like I said, it's not if it'swhen a loss happens and any type of
(15:00):
perinatal loss, if you have an earlymiscarriage, if you have a late term
loss, if you have a stillbirth, ifyou have an infant or child loss, like
this is what our group is here for.
And so that, that spans a lot offamilies and birthing people that
have experienced a loss within that.
area, because it's a lot of peoplethat are affected by something that
(15:23):
we don't talk about nearly enoughor have enough support for people.
Stephanie (15:28):
Or even the language, even what to say to someone who's gone through that
or the right thing to do and I think it'samazing even that this organization exists
so that people can share Yeah, yeah,
Megan (15:41):
and just it's so cathartic to be able to share and to be able to just
Remember your babies, I for so longwas afraid that I was gonna be the only
one that said Delaney's name I was AndI was fearful of that, and I have just
continued on her death anniversary.
(16:02):
we say her name, our daughter Penelopeknows her sister Delaney is in heaven.
It is a conversation that stillhappens in my home every day,
you
know, and that was something thatI was very fearful of that as
a mother, I was going to be theonly one that remembered her.
And
It is so far from that now, but that isbecause I've been so open and I continue
(16:25):
to fight for her to be remembered.
And, she was real, she wasmine, she was here and, I don't
ever want anybody to forget.
I'm sorry.
Tuesday,
Stephanie (16:40):
Tuesday, October 15th, is a really big event
that you guys are putting on.
Megan (16:46):
Yes.
it's the Global Wave of Light.
It's an annual event thathappens across the globe at 7 p.
m.
.... whatever time zone you're in, it's,you light a candle in remembrance
or memorial of an infant, child.
any sort of perinatal loss, and so MoxieMoms has, an event on Tuesday at 7 p.
(17:09):
m.
We would ask people to come alittle earlier because at 7 p.
m.
we will light the candles.
but we invite the community to come downand share a story or, light a candle in
remembrance and to show support for thefamilies that have gone through this.
So it'll be on Presque Isle.
It'll be right next to the ice cream shop.
(17:29):
So in that pavilion right there.
So yeah, there'll be a group thereand we'll have the rocks that people
can write names on or whatever they'dwant to put into the memorial garden.
So that'll be available.
We'll have resources and,yeah, it'll just be a really.
Quick event and something to bringthe community together to share
(17:52):
more awareness of what goes on.
Stephanie (17:54):
That's wonderful.
Now, if someone is traveling orthey're somewhere, at that moment, at
that 7pm, it'll be like a collective.
Yep.
A collective moment of remembering.
So no matter where you are, I hopethere's people listening that are not
just in Marquette or maybe they can't getthere, they might have an event, but 7 p.
(18:16):
m.
down at Presque Isle Pavilion.
Yep.
And, yeah, come a little bit early.
Now, if someone has experienced a lossand they're not quite ready to be public
with it, or they feel still, a littlebit guarded with their grief, could
they make their own rock and leaveit at the community garden or do they
need to come through the organization?
Megan (18:36):
No, we're more than happy to take any rocks that
people would like to put there.
We just seal them.
So they'll, hold up to theharsh winter that we have.
we're going to take them out,to make sure that they stay.
Put and that people don't take them,but yeah, if somebody would want to do
that and if you want a rock we can dropone off you just contact us on Facebook,
and we've done that before But yeah, weseal them all so they stay intact and
(19:01):
Yeah, but we're more than happy to share.
Stephanie (19:04):
Now, do you guys take donations?
I'm sure that there's a lot ofmoney that's needed to keep up the
garden and share these resources.
Do you, if someone wanted to donate tothis organization, how could they do that?
Megan (19:15):
Yeah, absolutely.
you can go to our Facebook page.
We have, a Venmo account.
We also have a PayPal accountthat people can donate, to.
To the wave of light, they candonate to the memorial garden.
Each May we're going to be doinga little angels memorial walk.
So last May we did awalk around the Island.
It was a beautiful day.
(19:37):
There was probably between.
70 and 80 people that attended.
Children, health professionals,nurses that have experienced loss
with families, have gotten togetherand we walked the island and it was
such a beautiful moment because for somany reasons, but a lot of the times
(19:57):
after a loss, the nurses that care forthese families don't have connections
with these families afterwards.
So they.
are with these families during thehardest, darkest time of their lives.
And then after discharge, theydon't really have an opportunity
to see these families or checkin on these families again.
(20:19):
And in a small town like ours, you'llrun into them at the grocery store
or that's the, that's not where wewant to run into somebody the second
time we're going to meet them.
So a lot of the memorial walk isto encourage healthcare providers
to come back and see thesefamilies that they haven't seen.
maybe these families have grownand they have more babies.
(20:42):
But it's just another time for thefamilies and healthcare providers
to connect again in a safespace in a way that memorializes
both of their experiences.
And, we walked the island.
there's nothing more beautiful than that.
And it was such a beautiful day.
So we will do that again in May.
but we'll post everythingon our social media.
(21:03):
but yeah, so we have a lotof donation opportunities.
The walk being one, we haveour signs at the green space.
So at the garden, if people walk byand they want to donate, they can.
but also just reaching out to us onFacebook and that's super helpful.
the money that we can raise, itgoes right back into the community
(21:24):
and supporting this nonprofit.
Stephanie (21:26):
That's so wonderful.
I love that idea that these healthcareproviders can come back and connect.
Because in, you know, atthe beginning of my, my.
with this podcast, we areobligated not to share any private
health related information.
So truly, even if I did see someone atthe grocery store, I'm not technically
supposed to even acknowledge thembecause that would meet, then their
(21:49):
partner might say, how do you knowStephanie or, so it's, that's so
beautiful that you get to heal togetherin that and that they get to see.
that process of grief andhealing, how that's gone.
I love that.
Yeah.
I love
Megan (22:04):
that.
Yeah, it's definitely, it was abeautiful, And I know it'll grow.
we were pleasantly surprised with how manypeople attend and showed up to support
not only our nonprofit, but the community.
And it was a really beautiful event andto make those connections and to see the
nurses or the doctors that you hadn'tseen, and to just, show up in a way that.
(22:28):
Was different than the lasttime you saw them and to really
connect on a personal level.
Cause like you said, not being ableto address something in public when
you unexpectedly run into them and ina small town it happens all the time,
so it's just another opportunity forpeople to reconnect in a safe space and
(22:49):
remember and honor and share stories.
Stephanie (22:52):
That's wonderful.
So on Tuesday during this wave oflight, will people, speak poems?
would you, if you were there,have a poem about Delaney?
people can share thingsfreely at this wave of light?
Megan (23:06):
Yes.
And we encourage it, it's.
It's really hard to speak up, but wehave a lot of great people involved
in our group that are so willingto share their stories and get
people to connect or feel heard.
you don't have to share to feel heard.
we will have, a couple readings.
We will have, one of the husbands ofa board member playing the guitar,
(23:28):
and
yeah, it's just going to be a reallybeautiful event, and like I said, it's
not going to be that long, but it'sgoing to be, Just an opportunity again
to get together and to honor heal.
Yeah.
Yeah to keep
Stephanie (23:39):
healing from this profound grief
Megan (23:41):
Yeah,
Stephanie (23:42):
yeah, that's amazing.
I'm so proud of you I'm so proud ofyou that you've stepped out of your
Comfort zone and you've been brave andyou've been vulnerable to share this
with me and now, you know the communityand all of our listeners Is there
anything else that you'd want to sayin closing, either about moxie moms or
about infant loss and pregnancy loss?
(24:04):
Anything else that you'd want to share?
Megan (24:07):
Yeah, as I said, it was one of the most isolating experiences
that I've ever gone through.
So just to be able to let people knowthat you are not alone in this and
that there is an actual group of peoplethat have gone through exactly what
you're going through or went throughand can really understand to the
depths of what you're going through.
(24:28):
And we're still here and we'resharing our stories, we're sharing
our baby's names and we want to help.
We want to support because it's notsomething that anybody has to do alone.
And we're stronger in numbers andThat's truly what this organization
is about, is just supportingpeople that go through something
that is huge, it's life altering.
(24:52):
Yeah.
Stephanie (24:53):
Yeah.
I hate to say you'll never bethe same, Delaney will always be
with you, always in your heart.
That experience of losing her, youcan't in five years, not remember,
you can't say, I'm over that.
this is.
The enormity of losing a child.
Megan (25:09):
Yeah.
And I'm her mother, if I don'tremember her, if I don't honor
her, who else will, And so it's.
It's my job to make sure that peopleknow who she is and that she is such
a part of our family and our lives andforever will be and I want people to
know that's okay and to be able to sharetheir babies and their experience and
(25:35):
their loss and to know that somebodyelse is right there with them who
understands how important it is to saytheir names and to acknowledge their loss.
birthdates, their deathdates, any anniversaries,
because it's nothing in life.
I'm speaking on my experience, but nothingin life, happens where I don't either wish
(25:56):
she was here, wish she was a part of it.
there's no Christmases where I forgetthat she's not here or that I should have
a three year old with my six year old.
there's just, It's constant, it'sdaily, and I'm healing, I'm on this
journey, but I'll never be healed.
And to be able to just let peopleknow that they're not alone is
(26:19):
really my goal of all of this.
Stephanie (26:22):
thank you so much, Megan, for being on this podcast,
for starting the Moxie Moms 906.
I'm going to share all the links.
I can't wait to see how Tuesdaygoes with that wave of light.
And, it's just been an honor.
Yes.
I think we shoulddedicate today to Delaney.
Oh, thank you so much.
This podcast to
Megan (26:42):
Delaney.
Yes.
Thank you for having me.
It was a wonderful opportunity to sharenot only my story, but the community
resources and what we have out thereright here in Marquette for people.
And, even if you're not in theMarquette area, please reach out.
We've got people that wecan connect with anywhere.
And.
That's
Stephanie (27:00):
the, that's the brilliance of like technology and social media.
Yeah, wherever you are,wherever you're listening.
Yes.
Yeah, that Moxie Mom's Facebook page willhelp to direct you to those resources.
Yes,
Megan (27:12):
absolutely.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Megan.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Thank you so much for listening.
If you've enjoyed this podcast,would you please rate it,
review it, like or subscribe?
You can find me on social mediaat WautierWellness.com, Dr.
Stephanie Wautier on Instagram,or Wautier Wellness Chiropractic
and Massage on Facebook.
(27:40):
And I'm so curious where yournext conversation will take you.
Hi, this is Dr.
Stephanie Watt here, and I'm the hostof Conversations with a Chiropractor.
This is not a health how to, butrather a conversation with some
amazing people I've had the pleasureof being with on my journey of life.
Think of it more like Tuesdays with Maury.
A fireside chat orchicken soup for the soul.
(00:27):
Grab a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoythis conversation with a chiropractor.
Stephanie (00:42):
Today I am joined by the founder of Moxie Moms 906, Megan.
Megan, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you.
I'm
Megan (00:49):
honored.
I truly am.
Thank you for having me.
Stephanie (00:52):
It's October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month.
Megan (00:56):
Yes,
Stephanie (00:56):
it is.
And Moxie
Moms is an inclusive non profitorganization deeply dedicated
to supporting mothers who haveexperienced the profound loss of a
baby through stillbirth or miscarriage.
Yes.
So you have started this non profit inMarquette, Michigan, which is so amazing.
it's pretty new, right?
Yes.
Megan (01:16):
So we started in This year, February was when I got everything going.
And, but this has been somethingthat's been in my mind and my heart
since I lost my daughter in 2021.
So this has been something that I'vebeen working on and working through.
And it just, Everything came at theright moment this year, and I was able
(01:40):
to really put it out there and findthese beautiful, amazing, intelligent
women and birthing people in ourcommunity that wanted to help support.
So
Stephanie (01:50):
when you lost your daughter in 2021, would you say that you
felt there was a lack of support,like a lack of community resources
Megan (01:57):
completely?
It was so isolating to have gone throughthat and then to really not have anybody
understand or be able to connect withon that type of loss and on that level.
Because for the most part, people justwant to Not talk about it and want to
shut it down because it's so uncomfortableto talk about the loss of a child You
(02:20):
know so it's something that I was soisolated in and I knew that I Needed for
my healing my own healing and to processthis grief and trauma that I went through
that I needed to share and connect withpeople that I understood on a level of,
the physical level, what I went through,what my body was going to continue to
(02:42):
go through on an emotional level anda spiritual, all different levels.
it was just such a profoundexperience to be isolated in that
I Really couldn't contain it.
I needed to share my story withpeople that understood and that's
really how everything evolved.
it was just, I was justneeded to get it out.
(03:05):
And it, I think it benefited me.
And then, Turned into moxie moms.
Stephanie (03:12):
Yeah.
And you've already done so much.
You've got the community garden.
Yes.
Downtown Marquette.
Tell us a little bit about that.
Megan (03:19):
So we have a green space.
So it's a memorial, that people can go to.
we've had different organizationsaround town donate flowers.
It is a beautiful space.
So It's come, it's literally come tolife, and we have had multiple events
where we have brought rocks for peopleto be able to write, their, either their
(03:40):
last name, the date of their loss, theirchild or infant's name on these rocks.
And then we have them stamp it.
So they are placed allthroughout the memorial garden.
And actually, the NorthernConstruction Club is donating a bench.
So we just got the renderingsthis week of the bench.
So they'll be a bench there with a plaque.
(04:01):
And it's just a spot forpeople to come and find solace.
And, be able to reallymemorialize or just sit and think.
It's a beautiful spot that, It justshows that we are and that this
community is here to support howeverwe can, even if it's just going and
(04:22):
sitting there, that's our mission.
So it's
Stephanie (04:25):
beautiful.
It's amazing.
And you've got a Facebook page.
Yes.
Megan (04:29):
Yes.
So we have two different Facebook pages.
We do have a community Facebookpage where anybody can join.
We post all of our events there.
And then if you've,experienced a loss yourself.
We do have a private group.
It's a safe space for people to sharestories and, it's a little, it's private,
so you get an invite to it, but I'm morethan happy to share it with anybody.
(04:53):
And there's a lot of people that have notdirectly experienced loss that are in that
group that are just there to understandhow to show support for somebody that
they love that has gone through it.
So
we share some deeper resources on that.
more private page, but it's opento anybody that wants to be a part
of it, to learn more, to advocate,to share the resources and yeah, so
Stephanie (05:16):
that's amazing.
Something that our community definitelywas lacking and needed and you're filling
this need from the void based of yourown, horrible, tragic experiences.
Yes,
Megan (05:28):
it was, like I said, something that I just inside me, why?
.... Is there not something out there forfamilies like mine that have experienced
this loss that really have nowhere toturn and have no resources outside of,
being discharged from the hospital?
I had so many things that happened to mybody after having a baby but not leaving
(05:52):
with a baby that I wasn't informedabout, that I wasn't, educated on.
And that's I had wonderful care.
My experience, though I wish itupon nobody, my experience with
the health care was phenomenal.
And part of that is, theirlack of resources as well.
(06:16):
And it takes a specific person tobe able to step up in a stranger's
darkest hour to provide that type ofcompassion and empathy when you don't
know what they're going through, butyou know that it's the darkest, deepest
thing that they've ever experienced.
So I can't say enough good things aboutthe care that my husband and I received.
(06:41):
but yeah, it was just,overwhelming the lack of resources
afterwards and to have to.
experience all of that physically andthen to have to go online and seek out
resources for myself, for my husband,for our daughter, our living daughter.
it was hard.
It was, but also it opened up my eyesto what This community was lacking.
(07:06):
And so we've done and built a lot ofgreat things because of that experience.
And, yeah, it's just been,
Stephanie (07:17):
I don't know if you want to go to this place.
Do you want to talk a little bit aboutwhat some of those unexpected things were
that were happening to your body or not?
You don't have to.
Yeah.
Megan (07:27):
A lot of the times, as as a mom, there's a lot of different things that
happen to your body after you give birth.
Okay.
And that doesn't changewhen your baby doesn't live.
Okay.
So
your body still goes through, the hormonalprocesses, the postpartum, all of that.
Your milk still comes in
and these
are just continuous things that nobodyreally prepares you for when you
(07:52):
leave the hospital without your baby.
and a lot of other women thatI have spoke with and birthing
people that have experienced losshave talked about their postpartum
anxiety and postpartum depressionand psychosis that had happened.
But it's not.
Looked at like it would be ifwe had a child to bring home.
(08:14):
So there's just It's
Stephanie (08:17):
a
Megan (08:17):
you not
Stephanie (08:17):
validated like it's not as it's taken as seriously because
correct you didn't come home with a baby
Megan (08:23):
right but my body didn't know that,
so it was a lot of, figuring out on myown and it was hard, but being able to
relate to people that have gone throughthis experience has been so healing
and Purposeful, it, it just gives meso much hope in this organization and
(08:48):
what we're doing and our mission and tocontinue being an advocate and sharing my
stories and, getting people involved insomething that's pretty, pretty important.
Taboo and not talked about and it'simportant that we do talk about it
Stephanie (09:02):
Absolutely, and it's important even for people like me, you know I'm
not a therapist, but I do talk to mypatients as they're coming in And I
might have to give them a resource Imight not know what to do for them or how
to do it but if I could direct them tosomeone who could give them the resources
I'm sure that there are therapiststhat you're connecting with, people
(09:25):
that can help in that grief process.
Yeah, and it's really a
Megan (09:29):
specific, population of people that are going through this.
So it's a, it's, you need a specifichealth care provider that has the
extra experience, extra credential inmaternal wellness and that type of brief
and grief and bereavement and loss.
(09:50):
So really there wasn't.
Anything up here that really wasavailable right when I needed
it, the second I was discharged.
So I actually found an organizationout of Ferndale downstate.
So I am still with them.
I do telehealth, but theyspecialize in maternal mental
health and reoccurring loss.
(10:13):
like all of these specificcategories of loss that the average
Stephanie (10:20):
therapist might not have experience with, right?
And might not do thatclient justice, right?
So
Megan (10:27):
it was definitely a lot of research that I needed to put
in to find somebody that was ableto really help in my diagnosis.
darkest time and then whenI needed help the most.
yeah, I can share that resource becausethey are, they were a game changer for me.
That's
Stephanie (10:45):
wonderful.
Megan (10:46):
And they do telehealth and it's called Honey for Moms.
Stephanie (10:50):
Oh, I love it.
yeah.
Yeah.
It's sad to me that you had totry to navigate the, navigate
this on your own when you're goingthrough this deep loss of a child.
. And you're having all of these physicalthings happen and you're scrambling.
in the dark to try tofind where can I get help?
Yeah.
who can help me?
. Megan: Yeah.
And it.
(11:10):
It's what I had to do.
I had to do it for my husband.
I had to do it for our living daughter.
I had to find a way to comeback to being Megan again.
And finding that part of me thatI so easily could have lost.
That so easily couldhave taken who I am away.
And I knew that I neededto do that for them.
(11:32):
I Maybe not so much for myself,but I needed to do that for them.
And so that was really what drove me tocontinue to seek out help and resources
and really advocate for women that haveexperienced this and birthing people
that don't have the support system that,that I had to be able to get through
(11:53):
something like this, because it's.
It's amazing how easily you can connectwith a complete stranger on something
that you've both experienced like this.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because I couldn't even fathom that.
I really, I haven't lost a child, Ihaven't lost a pregnancy, and I can't
have, I can't have that exact same notionof that, enormity of the grief, you
Megan (12:17):
know?
yeah.
Yeah.
And it's, it's not If it's when becauseone in four women experience this or
one in four birthing people experiencethis type of loss So even if you've
not directly experienced it yourselfYou are going to know somebody and love
somebody that is going to go through thisit's not if it's is So just having that
(12:39):
Communication as well and being able toshare I know this resource for somebody
because It's there, it exists, and I loveyou, so here it is, how can I support you?
So it's just, we needeverybody to be involved.
Stephanie (12:53):
We do, and we need everyone to be aware.
I do have several friends who'vehad infertility struggles and or
who've lost several babies, andyeah, I think that societally,
we want people to move on, right?
Just get over it, just move on, that'sthe societal expectation, there isn't
(13:13):
this sort of grace, this sort of spacethat we should really give for this grief.
Yeah.
That's why I really love the idea thatthis bench will be there because it
can be very personal and very privateand that might be the first step
that a woman takes to healing fromthat grief or processing that grief.
Megan (13:32):
Yeah.
And it's something that if you've gonethrough loss, you never forget, you can't.
And as a person that's gonethrough multiple losses, it's
there and it's always there.
So being able to provide an ear or a hugto people that understand that are going
through it and to just say, I'm here,whatever you need, I've made some changes.
(13:54):
Yeah.
connections with people aroundthe community by just sharing my
story and saying, I know exactlywhat you're going through.
I know exactly how you feel.
And not only that, butholding that in, you see it.
It damages you.
Yes.
you've seen how much of a mess mybody has been from stress and loss.
(14:16):
it's not, healthy.
No,
Stephanie (14:19):
it's not.
It absolutely isn't.
So I so commend you not only for beingso diligent with your own health and
healing and doing this for your husbandand your daughter, but just saying,
I'm going to do this for the communitybecause there was a need that I saw.
Yeah.
I'm I think it's astounding thatyou've started this organization.
(14:39):
Thank you.
Megan (14:39):
it's evolved so much and the help and support.
We have a board of, I believe there's10 of us or there's nine of us.
So we have a ton ofsupport and we're just.
We're growing and we just want thecommunity to know that we're here
because like I said, it's not if it'swhen a loss happens and any type of
(15:00):
perinatal loss, if you have an earlymiscarriage, if you have a late term
loss, if you have a stillbirth, ifyou have an infant or child loss, like
this is what our group is here for.
And so that, that spans a lot offamilies and birthing people that
have experienced a loss within that.
area, because it's a lot of peoplethat are affected by something that
(15:23):
we don't talk about nearly enoughor have enough support for people.
Stephanie (15:28):
Or even the language, even what to say to someone who's gone through that
or the right thing to do and I think it'samazing even that this organization exists
so that people can share Yeah, yeah,
Megan (15:41):
and just it's so cathartic to be able to share and to be able to just
Remember your babies, I for so longwas afraid that I was gonna be the only
one that said Delaney's name I was AndI was fearful of that, and I have just
continued on her death anniversary.
(16:02):
we say her name, our daughter Penelopeknows her sister Delaney is in heaven.
It is a conversation that stillhappens in my home every day,
you
know, and that was something thatI was very fearful of that as
a mother, I was going to be theonly one that remembered her.
And
It is so far from that now, but that isbecause I've been so open and I continue
(16:25):
to fight for her to be remembered.
And, she was real, she wasmine, she was here and, I don't
ever want anybody to forget.
I'm sorry.
Tuesday,
Stephanie (16:40):
Tuesday, October 15th, is a really big event
that you guys are putting on.
Megan (16:46):
Yes.
it's the Global Wave of Light.
It's an annual event thathappens across the globe at 7 p.
m.
.... whatever time zone you're in, it's,you light a candle in remembrance
or memorial of an infant, child.
any sort of perinatal loss, and so MoxieMoms has, an event on Tuesday at 7 p.
(17:09):
m.
We would ask people to come alittle earlier because at 7 p.
m.
we will light the candles.
but we invite the community to come downand share a story or, light a candle in
remembrance and to show support for thefamilies that have gone through this.
So it'll be on Presque Isle.
It'll be right next to the ice cream shop.
(17:29):
So in that pavilion right there.
So yeah, there'll be a group thereand we'll have the rocks that people
can write names on or whatever they'dwant to put into the memorial garden.
So that'll be available.
We'll have resources and,yeah, it'll just be a really.
Quick event and something to bringthe community together to share
(17:52):
more awareness of what goes on.
Stephanie (17:54):
That's wonderful.
Now, if someone is traveling orthey're somewhere, at that moment, at
that 7pm, it'll be like a collective.
Yep.
A collective moment of remembering.
So no matter where you are, I hopethere's people listening that are not
just in Marquette or maybe they can't getthere, they might have an event, but 7 p.
(18:16):
m.
down at Presque Isle Pavilion.
Yep.
And, yeah, come a little bit early.
Now, if someone has experienced a lossand they're not quite ready to be public
with it, or they feel still, a littlebit guarded with their grief, could
they make their own rock and leaveit at the community garden or do they
need to come through the organization?
Megan (18:36):
No, we're more than happy to take any rocks that
people would like to put there.
We just seal them.
So they'll, hold up to theharsh winter that we have.
we're going to take them out,to make sure that they stay.
Put and that people don't take them,but yeah, if somebody would want to do
that and if you want a rock we can dropone off you just contact us on Facebook,
and we've done that before But yeah, weseal them all so they stay intact and
(19:01):
Yeah, but we're more than happy to share.
Stephanie (19:04):
Now, do you guys take donations?
I'm sure that there's a lot ofmoney that's needed to keep up the
garden and share these resources.
Do you, if someone wanted to donate tothis organization, how could they do that?
Megan (19:15):
Yeah, absolutely.
you can go to our Facebook page.
We have, a Venmo account.
We also have a PayPal accountthat people can donate, to.
To the wave of light, they candonate to the memorial garden.
Each May we're going to be doinga little angels memorial walk.
So last May we did awalk around the Island.
It was a beautiful day.
(19:37):
There was probably between.
70 and 80 people that attended.
Children, health professionals,nurses that have experienced loss
with families, have gotten togetherand we walked the island and it was
such a beautiful moment because for somany reasons, but a lot of the times
(19:57):
after a loss, the nurses that care forthese families don't have connections
with these families afterwards.
So they.
are with these families during thehardest, darkest time of their lives.
And then after discharge, theydon't really have an opportunity
to see these families or checkin on these families again.
(20:19):
And in a small town like ours, you'llrun into them at the grocery store
or that's the, that's not where wewant to run into somebody the second
time we're going to meet them.
So a lot of the memorial walk isto encourage healthcare providers
to come back and see thesefamilies that they haven't seen.
maybe these families have grownand they have more babies.
(20:42):
But it's just another time for thefamilies and healthcare providers
to connect again in a safespace in a way that memorializes
both of their experiences.
And, we walked the island.
there's nothing more beautiful than that.
And it was such a beautiful day.
So we will do that again in May.
but we'll post everythingon our social media.
(21:03):
but yeah, so we have a lotof donation opportunities.
The walk being one, we haveour signs at the green space.
So at the garden, if people walk byand they want to donate, they can.
but also just reaching out to us onFacebook and that's super helpful.
the money that we can raise, itgoes right back into the community
(21:24):
and supporting this nonprofit.
Stephanie (21:26):
That's so wonderful.
I love that idea that these healthcareproviders can come back and connect.
Because in, you know, atthe beginning of my, my.
with this podcast, we areobligated not to share any private
health related information.
So truly, even if I did see someone atthe grocery store, I'm not technically
supposed to even acknowledge thembecause that would meet, then their
(21:49):
partner might say, how do you knowStephanie or, so it's, that's so
beautiful that you get to heal togetherin that and that they get to see.
that process of grief andhealing, how that's gone.
I love that.
Yeah.
I love
Megan (22:04):
that.
Yeah, it's definitely, it was abeautiful, And I know it'll grow.
we were pleasantly surprised with how manypeople attend and showed up to support
not only our nonprofit, but the community.
And it was a really beautiful event andto make those connections and to see the
nurses or the doctors that you hadn'tseen, and to just, show up in a way that.
(22:28):
Was different than the lasttime you saw them and to really
connect on a personal level.
Cause like you said, not being ableto address something in public when
you unexpectedly run into them and ina small town it happens all the time,
so it's just another opportunity forpeople to reconnect in a safe space and
(22:49):
remember and honor and share stories.
Stephanie (22:52):
That's wonderful.
So on Tuesday during this wave oflight, will people, speak poems?
would you, if you were there,have a poem about Delaney?
people can share thingsfreely at this wave of light?
Megan (23:06):
Yes.
And we encourage it, it's.
It's really hard to speak up, but wehave a lot of great people involved
in our group that are so willingto share their stories and get
people to connect or feel heard.
you don't have to share to feel heard.
we will have, a couple readings.
We will have, one of the husbands ofa board member playing the guitar,
(23:28):
and
yeah, it's just going to be a reallybeautiful event, and like I said, it's
not going to be that long, but it'sgoing to be, Just an opportunity again
to get together and to honor heal.
Yeah.
Yeah to keep
Stephanie (23:39):
healing from this profound grief
Megan (23:41):
Yeah,
Stephanie (23:42):
yeah, that's amazing.
I'm so proud of you I'm so proud ofyou that you've stepped out of your
Comfort zone and you've been brave andyou've been vulnerable to share this
with me and now, you know the communityand all of our listeners Is there
anything else that you'd want to sayin closing, either about moxie moms or
about infant loss and pregnancy loss?
(24:04):
Anything else that you'd want to share?
Megan (24:07):
Yeah, as I said, it was one of the most isolating experiences
that I've ever gone through.
So just to be able to let people knowthat you are not alone in this and
that there is an actual group of peoplethat have gone through exactly what
you're going through or went throughand can really understand to the
depths of what you're going through.
(24:28):
And we're still here and we'resharing our stories, we're sharing
our baby's names and we want to help.
We want to support because it's notsomething that anybody has to do alone.
And we're stronger in numbers andThat's truly what this organization
is about, is just supportingpeople that go through something
that is huge, it's life altering.
(24:52):
Yeah.
Stephanie (24:53):
Yeah.
I hate to say you'll never bethe same, Delaney will always be
with you, always in your heart.
That experience of losing her, youcan't in five years, not remember,
you can't say, I'm over that.
this is.
The enormity of losing a child.
Megan (25:09):
Yeah.
And I'm her mother, if I don'tremember her, if I don't honor
her, who else will, And so it's.
It's my job to make sure that peopleknow who she is and that she is such
a part of our family and our lives andforever will be and I want people to
know that's okay and to be able to sharetheir babies and their experience and
(25:35):
their loss and to know that somebodyelse is right there with them who
understands how important it is to saytheir names and to acknowledge their loss.
birthdates, their deathdates, any anniversaries,
because it's nothing in life.
I'm speaking on my experience, but nothingin life, happens where I don't either wish
(25:56):
she was here, wish she was a part of it.
there's no Christmases where I forgetthat she's not here or that I should have
a three year old with my six year old.
there's just, It's constant, it'sdaily, and I'm healing, I'm on this
journey, but I'll never be healed.
And to be able to just let peopleknow that they're not alone is
(26:19):
really my goal of all of this.
Stephanie (26:22):
thank you so much, Megan, for being on this podcast,
for starting the Moxie Moms 906.
I'm going to share all the links.
I can't wait to see how Tuesdaygoes with that wave of light.
And, it's just been an honor.
Yes.
I think we shoulddedicate today to Delaney.
Oh, thank you so much.
This podcast to
Megan (26:42):
Delaney.
Yes.
Thank you for having me.
It was a wonderful opportunity to sharenot only my story, but the community
resources and what we have out thereright here in Marquette for people.
And, even if you're not in theMarquette area, please reach out.
We've got people that wecan connect with anywhere.
And.
That's
Stephanie (27:00):
the, that's the brilliance of like technology and social media.
Yeah, wherever you are,wherever you're listening.
Yes.
Yeah, that Moxie Mom's Facebook page willhelp to direct you to those resources.
Yes,
Megan (27:12):
absolutely.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Megan.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Thank you so much for listening.
If you've enjoyed this podcast,would you please rate it,
review it, like or subscribe?
You can find me on social mediaat WautierWellness.com, Dr.
Stephanie Wautier on Instagram,or Wautier Wellness Chiropractic
and Massage on Facebook.
(27:40):
And I'm so curious where yournext conversation will take you.
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