3870 Why Chasing Control Is Crushing Your Confidence

It's SO exhausting white-knuckling through your day because you think controlling every little thing will lead to better results. Control is not confidence. Clinging to control is like trying to hold water in a fist: the tighter you squeeze, the more you lose. And in that squeeze, you miss what truly matters. So that's why chasing control is crushing your confidence.

The truth is, most of what you worry about isn't yours to change.

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What truly matters—your values, your mindset, your response—you can only BE.

Let that sink in! In order to exude confidence, you need to take AIM: action ignites motivation.

It's not about control; it's about the next step.

"One step at a time leads to miles of greatness." ~ Kristianne Wargo

Confidence flows from surrendering control over the uncontrollable and leaning into your own power.

• What actions can you take?
• What is your next step?
• What can you say to yourself to know you've got what it takes?

So how do you step into solid confidence no matter what chaos swirls around you?

The K.I.S.S. ~ Walk in confidence!

Walking in confidence will weaken your grip on control because you are in motion, focused on the mission.

Here are three moves to walk in confidence, regardless of your circumstances:

1. Own Your Story (Inner Narrative)

Confidence begins with what you tell yourself. Instead of letting overwhelm run the show, catch your inner critic mid-rant. Reframe those runaway thoughts:

• Replace "I have to fix this or I'll fail" with "I am capable of handling what comes, one step at a time."
• When your day goes off script, say, "This doesn't define me. I'm bigger than this moment."

Example: You miss a deadline at work and start spiraling. Stop. Tell yourself, "This is a bump, not a brick wall. I'll learn and do better next time." That shift rewires your brain from panic to presence.

2. Focus on What You Can Control—Your Actions & Attitude

You can't control other people's reactions, the economy, or when your wifi dies. But you can control your next move and your mindset about it. Confidence grows when you invest energy where it counts, not where it's wasted.

Example: Traffic is a nightmare, and you're already late. Instead of racking up stress, decide: "I'll call ahead to let them know," or "I'll use this moment to breathe and reset." You regain agency and refuse to let frustration steal your calm.

3. Practice Small Acts of Courage Daily

Confidence isn't the absence of fear; it's the decision to act despite it. Start with tiny risks—speaking up in a meeting, setting a boundary, or tackling a task you've been avoiding. Every small win stacks up into a fortress of self-trust.

Example: You've been hesitant to market your services. Today, you post one honest story about your work—and it feels vulnerable and uncomfortable. That action is a vote for your confidence, no matter the outcome.

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In Your Heart — Confidence Lives

You cannot clutch the rivers' flow,
Nor stop the winds that come and go.
But in your hands, a sturdier thing—
Your voice, your choice, the courage to spring.

Release the grip that drains your light,
Step out into your own strong sight.
For confidence's quiet, steady art,
Lives not in control—but in your heart.

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You don't have to wrestle the world to prove your worth. Walk tall by owning your story, acting with intention, and daring to show up—even when it's hard. That's real confidence. Create your now!

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

 

#MindsetMonday #CreateYourNow #PersonalDevelopment

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