FROM THE VAULT:
- Initially released in August of 2021
- 🏠"Home was not just a place I lived, but the place I most wanted to be."
- âś… The blind spots that almost derailed his family (and how he overcame them)
- âś… Why church attendance matters more than you think
- âś… How to create a home your kids actually want to be in
- âś… The power of courageous humility in fatherhood
SUMMARY
What if the most powerful thing you could do as a dad wasn't extraordinary at all? In this heart-stirring conversation, Pastor Bob Merritt reveals how 30+ years of simple daily faithfulness transformed his family's life. From humble beginnings to leading one of Minnesota's largest churches, Bob shares the painful intervention that saved his career, marriage, and fatherhood legacy. Plus, you'll hear his daughter's emotional tribute that will make you rethink what true success as a dad looks like.
TAKEAWAYS
- Your daily faithfulness matters more than you realize—even when parenting feels monotonous and difficult
- Leading your family to church consistently is one of the most foundational ways to impact your children's faith
- Confronting your blind spots requires tremendous courage but can completely transform your family legacy
- The words you speak and the example you set as a dad influence your children for decades to come
- Creating a home your children want to be in starts with staying faithful to your spouse
GUEST
Bob Merritt served as Senior Pastor of Eagle Brook Church in Minnesota for nearly three decades, helping it grow to become one of the largest churches in America. He's the author of several books including "Done With That" and "Get Wise." Now retired from full-time ministry, Bob enjoys spending time with his wife Laurie, their two adult children, and six grandchildren. His greatest joy is seeing his family's continued commitment to faith and watching the legacy of intentional parenting extend to the next generation.
5 Most Impactful Quotes
- "It really is in the small, little daily things that really matter... I think parenting is the hardest thing on the planet... But I would go back and say it's your daily faithfulness, even though you don't know what you're doing half the time. But it's your daily faithfulness to your marriage, to showing up at home after work, to put the kids in your lap and just day after day after day after day of monotony in many cases. But out of that, God has a ripple effect and will do things and impact people now in ways that you'd never dreamed possible."
- "You don't have to know how to pray. You don't even have to read the Bible that much. You don't have to know how to memorize scripture or do devotions. But you can lead your kids to church and see what God will do because they're watching you."
- "Will I have enough humility, will I have enough strength to ask somebo
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
I have enough humility,
will I have enough strength, Jeff,
to ask somebody,
hey, will you help me
see some things in my life?
It's a person of strength who is
willing to admit I've got an anger
problem.
(00:28):
Welcome to DadAWESOME.
You've joined a movement of
intentional Christian dads
who are adding life to the dad life.
Thanks for taking a courageous step
towards learning and growing and
being mentored as you become
DadAWESOME for your kids.
On this podcast, my dad,
Jeff Zaugg, interviews intentional
dads from all around the world as
(00:49):
he explores the path of becoming
DadAWESOME.
Gentlemen, welcome back to
DadAWESOME.
This is Episode 185 and
my name is Jeff Zaugg and I'm so
thankful you're joining us today.
This is a two part conversation
with Pastor Bob Merritt.
(01:11):
And this is the first time ever in
a 185 weeks I've
never bumped into someone at a
coffee shop, someone I've never met
before, but that I know who they
are and they've impacted my life
from afar in a kind of two steps
removed sense.
And Pastor Bob Merritt is one of
those people. I bumped into him
about a month ago in a coffee shop
in White Bear Lake, and I asked for
(01:31):
two minutes of his time and I just
took took a moment and said thank
you to him on
behalf of the ways that I have been
influenced indirectly
from his leadership, through his
staff, through friends, mutual
friends, through mentors of mine
who have served with him directly
and so grateful
that he not only gave me the two
minutes, but then we spent 10
(01:52):
minutes chatting. And then the next
week he's like, come on over, let's
do this interview. And he's like,
let's spend two hours, let's go
deep. And so I was so grateful.
Bob just invested in me as
a young dad, his story,
and he was gracious enough to
say, go ahead and play
some audio clips.
So back a year and a half
ago at the final service
(02:12):
that Pastor Bob Merritt led
at Eagle Brook Church, there
was a moment where his
son Dave and his daughter Meg,
they shared reflections on their
dad. Usually you get moments like
this at a funeral, but because
of his legacy, almost three decades
of leadership at this church, this
amazing church in Minnesota,
(02:32):
his son and daughter shared.
And it was a moment of celebration
of his decades of leadership
and ministry.
And so I got permission to share
these short clips of this week,
episode one hundred and eighty five,
a short clip from his daughter, Meg,
and next week will be a short
clip from his son, Dave.
And this is going to set up the
conversation. And this to me as a
dad of young daughters, man,
(02:54):
it's powerful to hear, to think
of my daughters three decades from
now. What would they say about me?
What would they say about their dad?
And this is priceless.
So I'm going to share what Meg
shared about her dad.
And then right into the
conversation, part one with Pastor
Bob Merritt. I want to remind you
guys, we do have the DadAWESOME
nudge.
You simply have the text.
This number text the number
(03:14):
651-370-8618
and just text the word "DAD" to the
number six five one three seven
zero eighty six eighteen.
It's in the show notes. But that,
again, is a way to get this
throughout the week, knowledge of
intentionality to become DadAWESOME
for our kids.
So let's jump right into it.
This is the first half of my
conversation with Pastor Bob
Merit's. We're going to kick it off
(03:35):
with a with a message from his
daughter Meg shared about a year and
a half ago.
This is episode one hundred and
eighty five DadAWESOME
Dad.
The things that I so deeply valued
about you growing up are the same
things I am so grateful you do for
me today.
You have consistently loved me well
for thirty four years.
Thank you for investing your time
and energy into my life when I was
(03:56):
growing up. And now that I have a
family of my own,
thank you for making
me feel valued and important, for
tucking me in at night and telling
us stories about all the times you
misbehaved as a kid.
Thank you for editing my school
papers, even though your criticism
made me cry and I eventually just
had Mom do it.
(04:19):
Thank you for teaching me the
important things like how to shoot a
basketball, hit a baseball and make
a good venison burger.
Thank you for praying for me every
day when I asked for it and when
I don't, for telling me how
beautiful I am, not just because you
should, but because you truly
believe it.
Thank you for showing me how much
you love me daily, for traveling
thousands of miles just to see me
smile.
(04:39):
Thank you for fully embracing Nelly
and into our family and for loving
my kids so well that you have become
their most favorite person.
And thank you for always making me
feel safe and secure and for
letting me know I always have a home
with you and mom no matter what.
I'm so grateful to you both for
making our house not just a place we
live, but the one place I always
want to be.
I love you with my whole heart.
(05:00):
So lucky to be your daughter.
It really is in the small, little
daily things that really
matter. And it
you know, I think parenting is the
hardest thing on the planet.
You've got four little ones and we
had two and that's all I could
handle.
Drove me crazy many times.
So very, very difficult.
And you wonder as a parent,
(05:21):
especially when the kids are young,
will this ever end?
Will this ever turn out?
But I would go back and say it's
it's your daily faithfulness,
even though you don't know what
you're doing half the time.
But it's your daily faithfulness to
your marriage, to
showing up at home after work,
(05:42):
to put the kids in your lap and just
day after day after day after
day of monotony in
many cases.
But out of that, God
has a ripple effect and
will do things and impact people
now in ways that you'd never dreamed
possible. So we'll start
there. Yeah.
And I guess before I have so
(06:04):
many more questions, but before
going deep, just to give us a
landscape of your family today,
you're sharing some news from two
days ago at the time of recording.
But talk about your kids
ages and then how old are your
grandkids?
Yeah, so Megan's our oldest.
She's thirty four, married to
Nelly.
(06:24):
He's a radiologist.
And Meg is a stay at home mom
with three little ones, two little
girls and a little boy, ages
six, four and two.
And I mean,
it's it's it's
it's a hurricane in their house,
it's just I go over there and a half
hour, I'm cashed out and
(06:44):
I don't know how Meg does it.
She has the hardest job on the
planet as a stay
at home mom.
And then David is thirty three and
they just gave birth to their third
little girl two days ago.
I held her yesterday for the first
time. Her
name is Thompson Lorraine Merritt,
Thompson was my wife's maiden name.
And so the call her, Tommy.
(07:05):
And we just feel, my wife and I are
on the deck last night, just feel
incredibly blessed.
Can't believe the goodness of God.
David, is a lawyer, downtown
Minneapolis, his
wife, Sarah, is a manager of
3M and they're just trying
to figure life out and manage
that whole
deal of career and, you
know, nannying and
(07:27):
raising three little kids.
But what I'm most proud of, Jeff,
is that my kids
and their spouses love Jesus
with all their heart.
They love our church.
We go to church together on Saturday
nights. We fill a whole role.
Yes. And the little grandkids
run up to Kid-O-Deo, they can't
wait to get to church.
And so
but my wife and I
(07:49):
lead the way.
If if I
would not, if I
would have bailed on church
at any point along the way.
Forget it.
My thirty four and thirty three year
old son and daughter are still
watching their dad, who's 64.
(08:10):
And we don't miss church.
And I tell dads, you
know, you may get into this, but I
tell dads all the time who are
struggling, you know, parents, their
kids are off the rails, they're
teenagers and not even teenagers
yet. And I'll say, well, are you
going to church?
Well, yeah. And you know, and, you
know, they're not or they
hit and miss.
And I just I, I,
(08:31):
I don't hold back anymore.
I just tell them and I look at the
dad and I'll say, look.
You don't have to know how to pray.
You don't even have to read the
Bible that much.
You don't have to know how to
memorize scripture or do devotions.
But you can lead your kids to church
and see what God will do
because they're watching you.
(08:51):
And I've had dad after dad
take me up on that.
Yeah, but I can tell you.
You know, if the dad isn't going
to church.
Forget it, forget it.
And we got what we got in
our culture.
Kids who have lost their way.
Kids who are getting into trouble,
(09:11):
I mean, on and on and on, we'll get
into this, but God
will speak to your kids.
God will speak to you as a parent.
Dads and moms say I'm not getting
that much out of church.
Well, maybe it's not so much about
you, right, these days.
Or if you're not going to church
that's, you know, effective,
try a different church.
(09:33):
But you have got to at least
lead your kids
and your grandkids.
It's automatic that
this is a part of our life.
This is a part of a routine.
We are church people.
Yeah. On the weekend period.
It's that if you're not doing that
as a parent.
You're dropping the ball flat out
(09:56):
and who knows what's going to
happen.
And often people are like, well,
give me what are you learning?
What are the dials I can turn to be
more DadAWESOME.
And I love this about you, Bob,
is the the idea that you've just
you've just said, hey, like average
guy, average guy focused
on average, like let's
let's go there. And actually in our
hearts,
(10:17):
friends will joke with me.
They'll say that's being pretty dad
average instead of DadAWESOME or
that's like that's not very
DadAWESOME like my friends will joke
with me about it. But really we need
is is average dads
to just choose decisions,
consistent decisions for the long
haul. And this is what I pulled from
even the research I've done in your
life and your leadership, and your
family is choosing
(10:38):
to make what you're seeing a very
practical, easy decision.
I'm going to choose to be a dad who
goes to church every week.
I'm going to choose to be a dad who
shows my kids I love God.
And one way I'm going to do that is
the Bride of Christ.
The local church is a big deal.
And again, I get it.
There are a lot of churches who are
who are not effective, that are not
effective. They're not being
(10:58):
obedient to God's call.
I get that.
Don't let that one bad church
experience, you know, cause
you to say, well, I'm going to write
off church for the rest of my life.
There are great churches in the Twin
Cities and around the nation.
You just got to find one and
allow God, just be humble
enough. If I can say it that way, as
a parent or as a dad, be humble
(11:19):
enough to humble yourself,
to say, you know what? I'm going to
open my life up to God's
word through a local church and I'm
going to lead the way in my family
and see what God does.
Jeff, I wanna read one scripture
that's really the foundation.
And I won't read a lot of scripture
reference if it's Deuteronomy six
and God is instructing
(11:39):
Moses, you just gave him the Ten
Commandments and
and now Moses is instructing
the people, OK?
And he says, Love the Lord.
Your God with all your heart is
talking to the people now, the
Israelites and with all your soul
and with all your strength.
These commandments that I give you
today are to be on your hearts.
(12:02):
Parents, these
things that I'm teaching you are to
be on your hearts.
Moms and dads,
and then he says, impress
these things on your kids.
Talk about them when you sit at
home, when you walk along the road,
when you lie down, when you get up.
(12:22):
In other words, you can't teach
as a parent your kids what you
don't have in your own life.
So he says, impress
these things on your kids, these
commands that I'm giving you today.
And are to be on your heart.
So the question I would have for
Dad's.
Do you know God's word
(12:43):
well enough?
Are God's commands on
your heart?
Because you can't teach your
kids
what you don't have.
And you don't have to be a Bible
scholar again, get
make church a regular habit.
(13:06):
I would say also begin reading
God's word or start reading some
good books so that
God's word and God's
ways
are in you
because you can't you can't pass
along to your kids.
What you don't have yourself and I
would also say how you live
(13:27):
your life and then go down a ways
it says so that
love this phrase so that
you will live long, that
you will prosper.
And that you'll be blessed
in every way, so
it's not I
command you to do this because I
(13:48):
want to. I want to.
I want to control your life.
That's not it.
Right?
It's release blessings.
It's it's so that I
can open up heaven's blessings to
you and you can enjoy the beauty
and bounty of marriage
and family and adventure
and life and doing life together.
And so you don't have to go through
all this broken, messed up
(14:09):
stuff that many families go through.
And we all are broken, messed up, by
the way, for sure.
You know what I mean?
There is messed up and there's train
wreck messed up.
And I do see that a
what keeps some of the dads
listening? What keeps at times me
in a in a spot, a posture of
lean back versus lean forward is
often pain.
Pain, I think can lead
(14:30):
to passion or pain can
lead to passivity.
And so most of us have either
a church or a pastor or a Christian
friend who is in some way,
a parent who was following Jesus,
like some way
brought pain into our life.
And I think that's some of the
reason some of these dads do not
make sure to prioritize, because
(14:50):
pain has led to passivity and also
God's word priority.
I think pain has led to passivity
in that area and versus
I actually think pain can fuel
passion and we can take pain.
We can experience healing and we can
actually step in with more passion
for the local church, more passion
for God's word.
When you talk about the option, how
we have some options there when pain
comes our way.
(15:10):
People have been wounded by church,
have been wounded by Christians who
mishandle God's word or use it
as a battering
ram.
So there's pain associated
in some people's life with regard to
church.
And so they say, well never again,
and I've had people who
(15:31):
had a bad experience 40 years ago.
And that was the moment of pain
that caused them to walk away
from God or they had something
tragic in there happen, you know,
in their life happened, something
happened health wise
or an accident.
And they say, well, God's not good.
God wasn't there. How come he didn't
protect us?
And so they use that pain point
(15:53):
as
the thing that keeps them away
from pursuing God.
And that's tragic.
You know, life is full of pain.
We all have it.
But what I would say is that God
doesn't cause that pain.
Right.
But God can help you heal
from that pain and
(16:15):
put you on a better path
if you'll if you'll be willing
to allow him to do that.
You wrote an article actually was
pulled from your from your book, so
your your book done with that,
this was pulled from from that
excerpt of that and said let pain
be a signal and say,
you know, that hurts.
(16:35):
I better fix that.
Overcome that, heal that, be
done with that.
So we actually that's that's the
gift that pain is, is it
shows us an area to put some
attention to.
And we can we can like, keep limping
with that pain or we can choose a
different direction.
Go a little further into that topic
of like how we
look for signals.
We actually should pay attention to
(16:55):
pain areas and press in.
So I like to golf and I had a pain
in my shoulder and it was a severe
pain that that took me out
of the game for months.
And I went to every doctor on the
planet to try to figure out what was
going on.
The key was to find
ways to get
healing, not to ignore
(17:16):
it, so that I could be
free to play
to play a game that I love.
And so in that way, pain is is
a signal that something's wrong
when it comes to life.
If I'm constantly in
financial trouble
and that causes pain, if I
(17:37):
if I'm constantly
losing projects
at work or or
getting laid off or fired,
if I'm constantly
going through friendships and
they end up in a ditch
and that causes pain,
(17:58):
why why are those if there's
a pattern of pain in your life,
what's causing that?
Instead of just jumping from
friendship to friendship or
relationship to relationship.
Do you have enough
wherewithal to pause and say, OK,
this this is this is
putting me in a bad spot over
(18:20):
and over and over again?
There's pain associated with that.
What's causing it?
Is there something in my life
that's that's causing that?
And I think a lot of times, Jeff,
people go through life unaware,
you know.
I constantly fight with my
spouse, for example.
(18:42):
OK, well, it's always her fault
or it's always his fault.
And while they may be at fault,
I can tell you that both of us
are probably at fault, and until we
start digging around and figuring
out what what do each of us bring
to that problem?
Where is that pain coming from?
Well, we'll never get over it.
Yeah, and then we'll be constantly
(19:04):
limping through life.
Yeah, the brutal facts.
I've always been intrigued by
Jim Collins, and he said
he said you absolutely
cannot make a series of good
decisions without first confronting
the brutal facts.
And I think brutal facts and blind
spots could be pretty...
You're getting after it already with
what you're sharing that like we
need as dads to figure
(19:25):
out what are we not seeing we need
to confront things that are...
Insanity, right?
Do the same thing over and over,
expecting different results.
How can how can dads
listening identify
maybe some of those areas or
discover some of those areas and
then and then choose choose
to step into them versus
versus keep ignoring and letting the
(19:46):
same results come?
Well, let's let's take anger, for
example, which is a huge issue that
many men most men I
do I've struggled with anger,
being very cautious
and harsh with my language because
of that.
But anger is something that I
struggle with.
And I think a lot of men do.
But a lot of men are unaware of
(20:06):
that. They're unaware of
their anger or their words,
just completely unaware.
Everybody else can see it.
Everybody else can feel it.
But they're unaware and so
as as a father, as
a dad who has little kids around
home, he can he
can lose his temper and
(20:27):
I have and yell and
curse and and whatever, or
just go into a private
room and sulk.
And I've heard this statement so
many times, it makes me sick.
Well, kids are resilient.
They can handle my anger.
Well, yeah.
But it's affecting them, they're
absorbing all of that, they're not
(20:48):
yelling back at you as four
and five year olds are just taking
it and you say, well, kids are
resilient.
They're resilient, yes.
But that anger?
Is going to play out in their lives
in the form of shame, depression.
Probably grow up as a teenager who
is angry, him or herself.
(21:09):
And caused destructiveness
throughout. So
if I've got an anger issue, but I'm
not seeing it.
Will I have enough
humility so.
Will I have enough strength,
Jeff, to
(21:30):
ask somebody,
'Hey, will you help me
see some things in my life?'
See it's a person of strength
who's willing to admit I've got an
anger problem
or I've got a spending problem.
People of weakness, will never admit
they have an issue.
They're always saying, well, it's
(21:50):
your issue. It's your problem, it's
your problem. They're always
assessing blame or pointing blame.
It's only people of strength who are
willing to say, wait a minute,
my life's not going the way I want
it to or my kids are acting
out or things aren't the way they
should be at home.
Is there something in my life?
That's a person of strength who asks
(22:12):
that question.
People of weakness will never ask
that question.
They just keep keep behaving badly.
So it starts with strength.
Then what do you do with the
information? And the information
could come from your spouse, could
answer that question. Your kids,
your friends, I mean...
Yeah, my spouse,
my wife, Laurie would tell me,
you know, as a young dad
(22:33):
and she'd say this is
an issue in your life and I would
just blow her off. We don't like to
believe what our spouse says,
you know? Well, she's got an issue
or she's got an ax to grind or
whatever. You just kind of.
Yeah, I hear you, but I really don't
believe you.
And so in my life, it took a
full year of counseling
(22:53):
that probably saved my career
and perhaps saved my marriage
and my kids.
It took it took a professional
intervention directed by
our board.
So you didn't ask for it?
No, I did not ask for it. I was
so unaware of my problems,
my own issues.
I couldn't see it.
(23:13):
We all have these blinds.
I just couldn't see it and didn't
believe it because I had this, quote
unquote success at church
and church is growing, you know, who
are you to ask me or challenge me?
Because I'm this this, you know,
successful guy.
And then the board said, hey, man,
you either you either get counseling
(23:33):
or you're done.
And I couldn't believe it.
I'll never forget that night.
What a gift I cheer on
get counseling. I cheer on like
crazy all of the DadAWESOME
community. I'm like, go see a
counselor. Like, I'm such a fan of
counseling, but to know some people
listening or watching are like
you actually need
(23:55):
the gift of friends
or professional, like, a nudge.
I mean, I hope that we all could
walk in and say like say, hey,
I want to look for the blindspots
myself. But you had the gift of
someone else.
Oh, my gosh.
You know, I it took
it took a board because I'm so
strong head and strong willed, it
took a board to say you're going to
lose your job. Yeah.
We're going to fire you
(24:16):
unless you go get help.
So I'm like OK, and I went,
yeah, I mean, it's
it is a gift.
I would say, Jeff,
every human being, because we are
sinful, we are all flawed.
We all have blindspots.
Every dad
(24:37):
should give themselves
the gift of
going to professional counselor and
say, hey, where
am I good and where am I weak?
Would you help me see my weak spots?
That would... for
many men, that would be the
key transformational
(24:58):
moment in their life that would
cause them to excel at work,
at home, whatever they
do. And and so many
men are again, they have we all
have this issue of pride.
We think we got the world by the
tail or unwilling to say, you know
what, there may be some weaknesses
in my life.
But if you have the humility,
(25:18):
I just keep going. You got to be
humble enough and self-aware enough
to know that we all have
flaws and weaknesses, that if we
could just get somebody to help us
look at that, you know, it
could just open the world to us
because we could now start to manage
our weaknesses.
So in in gathering,
just gathering and researching for
this this conversation, Bob, like,
(25:40):
knowing about the celebration that
happened at the 28 year mark of you
handing off leadership of Eagle
Brook, my guess
is professionally, that celebration
looked different because of a point
where a board member told you you
have to go get well.
It would have never happened.
It would have never happened.
I would have either... something
tragic would have happened in my
(26:01):
marriage.
I shudder to think of what could
have happened even relationally,
immorally.
Because when you're when you're
running so fast, which was part of
the problem, just going a hundred
thousand miles an hour without
breath, clinically
(26:21):
burned out for sure, but
just trying to keep up with the
demand at work.
And I was teaching over at Bethel
Seminary and that was really
stupid because it almost
wrecked me.
It was too much. I didn't know it.
So picture of the eyes I want to
move from professionally to family,
the eyes of your six grandkids
(26:42):
and your son and daughter and their
their spouses, their eyes right now,
the difference in their life today.
You already talked about the joy of
sitting in the same row in church,
but the difference in their life
today because of a courageous board
member who stood up and said,
you know, rallied and said, we need
to get him help.
What's the difference in their life?
Well, they they are experiencing
their bubba,
(27:03):
their granddad.
So it's Bubba.
And what's that?
Nana, and that name was given to me.
I didn't necessarily ask for it.
But anyway, the family gave it to
me.
They are experiencing a
Bubba
who is loving,
(27:24):
kind,
tender.
Someone who has time for them, which
I would never have time for staff
or people who wanted a piece of
conversation or whatever.
They're experiencing a person who is
not perfect.
But is loving,
(27:45):
and even though
I was those things
deep down, those things were not
being manifested because of my
anger.
Yeah.
So several chapters later than the
passage you read in Deuteronomy six,
Deuteronomy 30, I've set before you
life and death, blessings and curses
(28:06):
now choose life so that you and your
children may live.
This is a great example.
I just am not in this chapter of
life like I have.
My oldest is seven and a half.
So seeing a description
of my children are...
They're flourishing, they're
experiencing life because
you made a hard choice
of pressing in versus fighting back
against that confrontation moment
(28:27):
or that let's get him help moment.
That's what we want for everyone
listening is to choose life
in the hard areas that will take
courage.
And just just to get specific from
your son and from your daughter,
your daughter said this.
She said home was not just a place
I lived, but the place I most
wanted to be.
That's what I want for my four
daughters before
(28:48):
I say what your son said,
how, what are some ways
that I can create a home, that I can
lead into a home atmosphere
that makes my four daughters say
it's not just a place I live, but a
place I want to be.
You are the most important
influence, Jeff, as a dad
in your home.
It's not to minimize your wife's
(29:10):
influence. Powerful, powerful, our
wives are amazing.
And their job of being being
around the kids most is monumental,
but your kids,
you are you are the most
powerful influence in
your boys or girls.
They are watching you.
(29:32):
At all times.
For good or bad, how you
live your life as a dad will
impact your kids for
the rest of their life.
So, you
know, I would say, number one, stay
faithful to your spouse,
(29:54):
your kids love
the fact that
they can count on their dad loving
their mom.
And that's never going to stop.
They don't have to question.
Where you're going to be at night,
they have no question about
(30:14):
what you're up to.
They know you're going to love their
mom and you two are going to be
their parents.
Now there's divorce, I get it.
Sometimes it's not the person's
fault. Somebody walks out, somebody
misbehaves, whatever.
But I'm just saying right now, you,
as a dad,
stay faithful to your marriage.
That's the best gift you can give to
(30:34):
your kids.
Thank you so much for joining us for
Episode 185
with Pastor Bob Merritt.
This was just the first half of the
conversations. We're going to go
deep into some storytelling, some
practical stories of
his fatherhood journey
and the the not so great
moments and the really precious,
(30:56):
beautiful moments next week's
episode. Here's a quick clip from
the second half of my conversation
with Pastor Bob Merritt.
You might not know what to do.
You might say some things wrong, but
do not bail.
Don't walk away.
Don't don't you know,
ignore the issue.
Pay attention to the right time the
right away, but
(31:17):
stay in
the battle.
Don't just pretend
there's not an issue.
Don't pretend that it's going to fix
itself.
Don't abdicate the responsibility
of being a parent to the
culture.
You've got to be there. You've got
to be present.
So that clip, along with
about another twenty five minutes of
(31:37):
my conversation, will be coming at
you next week. Episode
186.
The show notes, the action
steps, the transcripts and links are
all going to be found for this
week's episode at
DadAWESOME.org/185.
So you can find all that information
in your podcast app or at those show
notes. Will encourage you guys.
Some of you have already left
(31:57):
ratings and reviews on
Apple podcast or Spotify.
That is a way that more dads are
finding this show and being
impacted by this ministry.
So I would be so grateful for
your rating and review to help more
dads find this ministry.
Guys, thanks for being DadAWESOME
for saying I'm not done learning,
I'm not done done being mentored.
I want to learn and grow and become
(32:19):
more intentional with my fatherhood
journey. So praying for you guys
this week. Let's go add some life to
the dad life.
I have enough humility,
will I have enough strength, Jeff,
to ask somebody,
hey, will you help me
see some things in my life?
It's a person of strength who is
willing to admit I've got an anger
problem.
(00:28):
Welcome to DadAWESOME.
You've joined a movement of
intentional Christian dads
who are adding life to the dad life.
Thanks for taking a courageous step
towards learning and growing and
being mentored as you become
DadAWESOME for your kids.
On this podcast, my dad,
Jeff Zaugg, interviews intentional
dads from all around the world as
(00:49):
he explores the path of becoming
DadAWESOME.
Gentlemen, welcome back to
DadAWESOME.
This is Episode 185 and
my name is Jeff Zaugg and I'm so
thankful you're joining us today.
This is a two part conversation
with Pastor Bob Merritt.
(01:11):
And this is the first time ever in
a 185 weeks I've
never bumped into someone at a
coffee shop, someone I've never met
before, but that I know who they
are and they've impacted my life
from afar in a kind of two steps
removed sense.
And Pastor Bob Merritt is one of
those people. I bumped into him
about a month ago in a coffee shop
in White Bear Lake, and I asked for
(01:31):
two minutes of his time and I just
took took a moment and said thank
you to him on
behalf of the ways that I have been
influenced indirectly
from his leadership, through his
staff, through friends, mutual
friends, through mentors of mine
who have served with him directly
and so grateful
that he not only gave me the two
minutes, but then we spent 10
(01:52):
minutes chatting. And then the next
week he's like, come on over, let's
do this interview. And he's like,
let's spend two hours, let's go
deep. And so I was so grateful.
Bob just invested in me as
a young dad, his story,
and he was gracious enough to
say, go ahead and play
some audio clips.
So back a year and a half
ago at the final service
(02:12):
that Pastor Bob Merritt led
at Eagle Brook Church, there
was a moment where his
son Dave and his daughter Meg,
they shared reflections on their
dad. Usually you get moments like
this at a funeral, but because
of his legacy, almost three decades
of leadership at this church, this
amazing church in Minnesota,
(02:32):
his son and daughter shared.
And it was a moment of celebration
of his decades of leadership
and ministry.
And so I got permission to share
these short clips of this week,
episode one hundred and eighty five,
a short clip from his daughter, Meg,
and next week will be a short
clip from his son, Dave.
And this is going to set up the
conversation. And this to me as a
dad of young daughters, man,
(02:54):
it's powerful to hear, to think
of my daughters three decades from
now. What would they say about me?
What would they say about their dad?
And this is priceless.
So I'm going to share what Meg
shared about her dad.
And then right into the
conversation, part one with Pastor
Bob Merritt. I want to remind you
guys, we do have the DadAWESOME
nudge.
You simply have the text.
This number text the number
(03:14):
651-370-8618
and just text the word "DAD" to the
number six five one three seven
zero eighty six eighteen.
It's in the show notes. But that,
again, is a way to get this
throughout the week, knowledge of
intentionality to become DadAWESOME
for our kids.
So let's jump right into it.
This is the first half of my
conversation with Pastor Bob
Merit's. We're going to kick it off
(03:35):
with a with a message from his
daughter Meg shared about a year and
a half ago.
This is episode one hundred and
eighty five DadAWESOME
Dad.
The things that I so deeply valued
about you growing up are the same
things I am so grateful you do for
me today.
You have consistently loved me well
for thirty four years.
Thank you for investing your time
and energy into my life when I was
(03:56):
growing up. And now that I have a
family of my own,
thank you for making
me feel valued and important, for
tucking me in at night and telling
us stories about all the times you
misbehaved as a kid.
Thank you for editing my school
papers, even though your criticism
made me cry and I eventually just
had Mom do it.
(04:19):
Thank you for teaching me the
important things like how to shoot a
basketball, hit a baseball and make
a good venison burger.
Thank you for praying for me every
day when I asked for it and when
I don't, for telling me how
beautiful I am, not just because you
should, but because you truly
believe it.
Thank you for showing me how much
you love me daily, for traveling
thousands of miles just to see me
smile.
(04:39):
Thank you for fully embracing Nelly
and into our family and for loving
my kids so well that you have become
their most favorite person.
And thank you for always making me
feel safe and secure and for
letting me know I always have a home
with you and mom no matter what.
I'm so grateful to you both for
making our house not just a place we
live, but the one place I always
want to be.
I love you with my whole heart.
(05:00):
So lucky to be your daughter.
It really is in the small, little
daily things that really
matter. And it
you know, I think parenting is the
hardest thing on the planet.
You've got four little ones and we
had two and that's all I could
handle.
Drove me crazy many times.
So very, very difficult.
And you wonder as a parent,
(05:21):
especially when the kids are young,
will this ever end?
Will this ever turn out?
But I would go back and say it's
it's your daily faithfulness,
even though you don't know what
you're doing half the time.
But it's your daily faithfulness to
your marriage, to
showing up at home after work,
(05:42):
to put the kids in your lap and just
day after day after day after
day of monotony in
many cases.
But out of that, God
has a ripple effect and
will do things and impact people
now in ways that you'd never dreamed
possible. So we'll start
there. Yeah.
And I guess before I have so
(06:04):
many more questions, but before
going deep, just to give us a
landscape of your family today,
you're sharing some news from two
days ago at the time of recording.
But talk about your kids
ages and then how old are your
grandkids?
Yeah, so Megan's our oldest.
She's thirty four, married to
Nelly.
(06:24):
He's a radiologist.
And Meg is a stay at home mom
with three little ones, two little
girls and a little boy, ages
six, four and two.
And I mean,
it's it's it's
it's a hurricane in their house,
it's just I go over there and a half
hour, I'm cashed out and
(06:44):
I don't know how Meg does it.
She has the hardest job on the
planet as a stay
at home mom.
And then David is thirty three and
they just gave birth to their third
little girl two days ago.
I held her yesterday for the first
time. Her
name is Thompson Lorraine Merritt,
Thompson was my wife's maiden name.
And so the call her, Tommy.
(07:05):
And we just feel, my wife and I are
on the deck last night, just feel
incredibly blessed.
Can't believe the goodness of God.
David, is a lawyer, downtown
Minneapolis, his
wife, Sarah, is a manager of
3M and they're just trying
to figure life out and manage
that whole
deal of career and, you
know, nannying and
(07:27):
raising three little kids.
But what I'm most proud of, Jeff,
is that my kids
and their spouses love Jesus
with all their heart.
They love our church.
We go to church together on Saturday
nights. We fill a whole role.
Yes. And the little grandkids
run up to Kid-O-Deo, they can't
wait to get to church.
And so
but my wife and I
(07:49):
lead the way.
If if I
would not, if I
would have bailed on church
at any point along the way.
Forget it.
My thirty four and thirty three year
old son and daughter are still
watching their dad, who's 64.
(08:10):
And we don't miss church.
And I tell dads, you
know, you may get into this, but I
tell dads all the time who are
struggling, you know, parents, their
kids are off the rails, they're
teenagers and not even teenagers
yet. And I'll say, well, are you
going to church?
Well, yeah. And you know, and, you
know, they're not or they
hit and miss.
And I just I, I,
(08:31):
I don't hold back anymore.
I just tell them and I look at the
dad and I'll say, look.
You don't have to know how to pray.
You don't even have to read the
Bible that much.
You don't have to know how to
memorize scripture or do devotions.
But you can lead your kids to church
and see what God will do
because they're watching you.
(08:51):
And I've had dad after dad
take me up on that.
Yeah, but I can tell you.
You know, if the dad isn't going
to church.
Forget it, forget it.
And we got what we got in
our culture.
Kids who have lost their way.
Kids who are getting into trouble,
(09:11):
I mean, on and on and on, we'll get
into this, but God
will speak to your kids.
God will speak to you as a parent.
Dads and moms say I'm not getting
that much out of church.
Well, maybe it's not so much about
you, right, these days.
Or if you're not going to church
that's, you know, effective,
try a different church.
(09:33):
But you have got to at least
lead your kids
and your grandkids.
It's automatic that
this is a part of our life.
This is a part of a routine.
We are church people.
Yeah. On the weekend period.
It's that if you're not doing that
as a parent.
You're dropping the ball flat out
(09:56):
and who knows what's going to
happen.
And often people are like, well,
give me what are you learning?
What are the dials I can turn to be
more DadAWESOME.
And I love this about you, Bob,
is the the idea that you've just
you've just said, hey, like average
guy, average guy focused
on average, like let's
let's go there. And actually in our
hearts,
(10:17):
friends will joke with me.
They'll say that's being pretty dad
average instead of DadAWESOME or
that's like that's not very
DadAWESOME like my friends will joke
with me about it. But really we need
is is average dads
to just choose decisions,
consistent decisions for the long
haul. And this is what I pulled from
even the research I've done in your
life and your leadership, and your
family is choosing
(10:38):
to make what you're seeing a very
practical, easy decision.
I'm going to choose to be a dad who
goes to church every week.
I'm going to choose to be a dad who
shows my kids I love God.
And one way I'm going to do that is
the Bride of Christ.
The local church is a big deal.
And again, I get it.
There are a lot of churches who are
who are not effective, that are not
effective. They're not being
(10:58):
obedient to God's call.
I get that.
Don't let that one bad church
experience, you know, cause
you to say, well, I'm going to write
off church for the rest of my life.
There are great churches in the Twin
Cities and around the nation.
You just got to find one and
allow God, just be humble
enough. If I can say it that way, as
a parent or as a dad, be humble
(11:19):
enough to humble yourself,
to say, you know what? I'm going to
open my life up to God's
word through a local church and I'm
going to lead the way in my family
and see what God does.
Jeff, I wanna read one scripture
that's really the foundation.
And I won't read a lot of scripture
reference if it's Deuteronomy six
and God is instructing
(11:39):
Moses, you just gave him the Ten
Commandments and
and now Moses is instructing
the people, OK?
And he says, Love the Lord.
Your God with all your heart is
talking to the people now, the
Israelites and with all your soul
and with all your strength.
These commandments that I give you
today are to be on your hearts.
(12:02):
Parents, these
things that I'm teaching you are to
be on your hearts.
Moms and dads,
and then he says, impress
these things on your kids.
Talk about them when you sit at
home, when you walk along the road,
when you lie down, when you get up.
(12:22):
In other words, you can't teach
as a parent your kids what you
don't have in your own life.
So he says, impress
these things on your kids, these
commands that I'm giving you today.
And are to be on your heart.
So the question I would have for
Dad's.
Do you know God's word
(12:43):
well enough?
Are God's commands on
your heart?
Because you can't teach your
kids
what you don't have.
And you don't have to be a Bible
scholar again, get
make church a regular habit.
(13:06):
I would say also begin reading
God's word or start reading some
good books so that
God's word and God's
ways
are in you
because you can't you can't pass
along to your kids.
What you don't have yourself and I
would also say how you live
(13:27):
your life and then go down a ways
it says so that
love this phrase so that
you will live long, that
you will prosper.
And that you'll be blessed
in every way, so
it's not I
command you to do this because I
(13:48):
want to. I want to.
I want to control your life.
That's not it.
Right?
It's release blessings.
It's it's so that I
can open up heaven's blessings to
you and you can enjoy the beauty
and bounty of marriage
and family and adventure
and life and doing life together.
And so you don't have to go through
all this broken, messed up
(14:09):
stuff that many families go through.
And we all are broken, messed up, by
the way, for sure.
You know what I mean?
There is messed up and there's train
wreck messed up.
And I do see that a
what keeps some of the dads
listening? What keeps at times me
in a in a spot, a posture of
lean back versus lean forward is
often pain.
Pain, I think can lead
(14:30):
to passion or pain can
lead to passivity.
And so most of us have either
a church or a pastor or a Christian
friend who is in some way,
a parent who was following Jesus,
like some way
brought pain into our life.
And I think that's some of the
reason some of these dads do not
make sure to prioritize, because
(14:50):
pain has led to passivity and also
God's word priority.
I think pain has led to passivity
in that area and versus
I actually think pain can fuel
passion and we can take pain.
We can experience healing and we can
actually step in with more passion
for the local church, more passion
for God's word.
When you talk about the option, how
we have some options there when pain
comes our way.
(15:10):
People have been wounded by church,
have been wounded by Christians who
mishandle God's word or use it
as a battering
ram.
So there's pain associated
in some people's life with regard to
church.
And so they say, well never again,
and I've had people who
(15:31):
had a bad experience 40 years ago.
And that was the moment of pain
that caused them to walk away
from God or they had something
tragic in there happen, you know,
in their life happened, something
happened health wise
or an accident.
And they say, well, God's not good.
God wasn't there. How come he didn't
protect us?
And so they use that pain point
(15:53):
as
the thing that keeps them away
from pursuing God.
And that's tragic.
You know, life is full of pain.
We all have it.
But what I would say is that God
doesn't cause that pain.
Right.
But God can help you heal
from that pain and
(16:15):
put you on a better path
if you'll if you'll be willing
to allow him to do that.
You wrote an article actually was
pulled from your from your book, so
your your book done with that,
this was pulled from from that
excerpt of that and said let pain
be a signal and say,
you know, that hurts.
(16:35):
I better fix that.
Overcome that, heal that, be
done with that.
So we actually that's that's the
gift that pain is, is it
shows us an area to put some
attention to.
And we can we can like, keep limping
with that pain or we can choose a
different direction.
Go a little further into that topic
of like how we
look for signals.
We actually should pay attention to
(16:55):
pain areas and press in.
So I like to golf and I had a pain
in my shoulder and it was a severe
pain that that took me out
of the game for months.
And I went to every doctor on the
planet to try to figure out what was
going on.
The key was to find
ways to get
healing, not to ignore
(17:16):
it, so that I could be
free to play
to play a game that I love.
And so in that way, pain is is
a signal that something's wrong
when it comes to life.
If I'm constantly in
financial trouble
and that causes pain, if I
(17:37):
if I'm constantly
losing projects
at work or or
getting laid off or fired,
if I'm constantly
going through friendships and
they end up in a ditch
and that causes pain,
(17:58):
why why are those if there's
a pattern of pain in your life,
what's causing that?
Instead of just jumping from
friendship to friendship or
relationship to relationship.
Do you have enough
wherewithal to pause and say, OK,
this this is this is
putting me in a bad spot over
(18:20):
and over and over again?
There's pain associated with that.
What's causing it?
Is there something in my life
that's that's causing that?
And I think a lot of times, Jeff,
people go through life unaware,
you know.
I constantly fight with my
spouse, for example.
(18:42):
OK, well, it's always her fault
or it's always his fault.
And while they may be at fault,
I can tell you that both of us
are probably at fault, and until we
start digging around and figuring
out what what do each of us bring
to that problem?
Where is that pain coming from?
Well, we'll never get over it.
Yeah, and then we'll be constantly
(19:04):
limping through life.
Yeah, the brutal facts.
I've always been intrigued by
Jim Collins, and he said
he said you absolutely
cannot make a series of good
decisions without first confronting
the brutal facts.
And I think brutal facts and blind
spots could be pretty...
You're getting after it already with
what you're sharing that like we
need as dads to figure
(19:25):
out what are we not seeing we need
to confront things that are...
Insanity, right?
Do the same thing over and over,
expecting different results.
How can how can dads
listening identify
maybe some of those areas or
discover some of those areas and
then and then choose choose
to step into them versus
versus keep ignoring and letting the
(19:46):
same results come?
Well, let's let's take anger, for
example, which is a huge issue that
many men most men I
do I've struggled with anger,
being very cautious
and harsh with my language because
of that.
But anger is something that I
struggle with.
And I think a lot of men do.
But a lot of men are unaware of
(20:06):
that. They're unaware of
their anger or their words,
just completely unaware.
Everybody else can see it.
Everybody else can feel it.
But they're unaware and so
as as a father, as
a dad who has little kids around
home, he can he
can lose his temper and
(20:27):
I have and yell and
curse and and whatever, or
just go into a private
room and sulk.
And I've heard this statement so
many times, it makes me sick.
Well, kids are resilient.
They can handle my anger.
Well, yeah.
But it's affecting them, they're
absorbing all of that, they're not
(20:48):
yelling back at you as four
and five year olds are just taking
it and you say, well, kids are
resilient.
They're resilient, yes.
But that anger?
Is going to play out in their lives
in the form of shame, depression.
Probably grow up as a teenager who
is angry, him or herself.
(21:09):
And caused destructiveness
throughout. So
if I've got an anger issue, but I'm
not seeing it.
Will I have enough
humility so.
Will I have enough strength,
Jeff, to
(21:30):
ask somebody,
'Hey, will you help me
see some things in my life?'
See it's a person of strength
who's willing to admit I've got an
anger problem
or I've got a spending problem.
People of weakness, will never admit
they have an issue.
They're always saying, well, it's
(21:50):
your issue. It's your problem, it's
your problem. They're always
assessing blame or pointing blame.
It's only people of strength who are
willing to say, wait a minute,
my life's not going the way I want
it to or my kids are acting
out or things aren't the way they
should be at home.
Is there something in my life?
That's a person of strength who asks
(22:12):
that question.
People of weakness will never ask
that question.
They just keep keep behaving badly.
So it starts with strength.
Then what do you do with the
information? And the information
could come from your spouse, could
answer that question. Your kids,
your friends, I mean...
Yeah, my spouse,
my wife, Laurie would tell me,
you know, as a young dad
(22:33):
and she'd say this is
an issue in your life and I would
just blow her off. We don't like to
believe what our spouse says,
you know? Well, she's got an issue
or she's got an ax to grind or
whatever. You just kind of.
Yeah, I hear you, but I really don't
believe you.
And so in my life, it took a
full year of counseling
(22:53):
that probably saved my career
and perhaps saved my marriage
and my kids.
It took it took a professional
intervention directed by
our board.
So you didn't ask for it?
No, I did not ask for it. I was
so unaware of my problems,
my own issues.
I couldn't see it.
(23:13):
We all have these blinds.
I just couldn't see it and didn't
believe it because I had this, quote
unquote success at church
and church is growing, you know, who
are you to ask me or challenge me?
Because I'm this this, you know,
successful guy.
And then the board said, hey, man,
you either you either get counseling
(23:33):
or you're done.
And I couldn't believe it.
I'll never forget that night.
What a gift I cheer on
get counseling. I cheer on like
crazy all of the DadAWESOME
community. I'm like, go see a
counselor. Like, I'm such a fan of
counseling, but to know some people
listening or watching are like
you actually need
(23:55):
the gift of friends
or professional, like, a nudge.
I mean, I hope that we all could
walk in and say like say, hey,
I want to look for the blindspots
myself. But you had the gift of
someone else.
Oh, my gosh.
You know, I it took
it took a board because I'm so
strong head and strong willed, it
took a board to say you're going to
lose your job. Yeah.
We're going to fire you
(24:16):
unless you go get help.
So I'm like OK, and I went,
yeah, I mean, it's
it is a gift.
I would say, Jeff,
every human being, because we are
sinful, we are all flawed.
We all have blindspots.
Every dad
(24:37):
should give themselves
the gift of
going to professional counselor and
say, hey, where
am I good and where am I weak?
Would you help me see my weak spots?
That would... for
many men, that would be the
key transformational
(24:58):
moment in their life that would
cause them to excel at work,
at home, whatever they
do. And and so many
men are again, they have we all
have this issue of pride.
We think we got the world by the
tail or unwilling to say, you know
what, there may be some weaknesses
in my life.
But if you have the humility,
(25:18):
I just keep going. You got to be
humble enough and self-aware enough
to know that we all have
flaws and weaknesses, that if we
could just get somebody to help us
look at that, you know, it
could just open the world to us
because we could now start to manage
our weaknesses.
So in in gathering,
just gathering and researching for
this this conversation, Bob, like,
(25:40):
knowing about the celebration that
happened at the 28 year mark of you
handing off leadership of Eagle
Brook, my guess
is professionally, that celebration
looked different because of a point
where a board member told you you
have to go get well.
It would have never happened.
It would have never happened.
I would have either... something
tragic would have happened in my
(26:01):
marriage.
I shudder to think of what could
have happened even relationally,
immorally.
Because when you're when you're
running so fast, which was part of
the problem, just going a hundred
thousand miles an hour without
breath, clinically
(26:21):
burned out for sure, but
just trying to keep up with the
demand at work.
And I was teaching over at Bethel
Seminary and that was really
stupid because it almost
wrecked me.
It was too much. I didn't know it.
So picture of the eyes I want to
move from professionally to family,
the eyes of your six grandkids
(26:42):
and your son and daughter and their
their spouses, their eyes right now,
the difference in their life today.
You already talked about the joy of
sitting in the same row in church,
but the difference in their life
today because of a courageous board
member who stood up and said,
you know, rallied and said, we need
to get him help.
What's the difference in their life?
Well, they they are experiencing
their bubba,
(27:03):
their granddad.
So it's Bubba.
And what's that?
Nana, and that name was given to me.
I didn't necessarily ask for it.
But anyway, the family gave it to
me.
They are experiencing a
Bubba
who is loving,
(27:24):
kind,
tender.
Someone who has time for them, which
I would never have time for staff
or people who wanted a piece of
conversation or whatever.
They're experiencing a person who is
not perfect.
But is loving,
(27:45):
and even though
I was those things
deep down, those things were not
being manifested because of my
anger.
Yeah.
So several chapters later than the
passage you read in Deuteronomy six,
Deuteronomy 30, I've set before you
life and death, blessings and curses
(28:06):
now choose life so that you and your
children may live.
This is a great example.
I just am not in this chapter of
life like I have.
My oldest is seven and a half.
So seeing a description
of my children are...
They're flourishing, they're
experiencing life because
you made a hard choice
of pressing in versus fighting back
against that confrontation moment
(28:27):
or that let's get him help moment.
That's what we want for everyone
listening is to choose life
in the hard areas that will take
courage.
And just just to get specific from
your son and from your daughter,
your daughter said this.
She said home was not just a place
I lived, but the place I most
wanted to be.
That's what I want for my four
daughters before
(28:48):
I say what your son said,
how, what are some ways
that I can create a home, that I can
lead into a home atmosphere
that makes my four daughters say
it's not just a place I live, but a
place I want to be.
You are the most important
influence, Jeff, as a dad
in your home.
It's not to minimize your wife's
(29:10):
influence. Powerful, powerful, our
wives are amazing.
And their job of being being
around the kids most is monumental,
but your kids,
you are you are the most
powerful influence in
your boys or girls.
They are watching you.
(29:32):
At all times.
For good or bad, how you
live your life as a dad will
impact your kids for
the rest of their life.
So, you
know, I would say, number one, stay
faithful to your spouse,
(29:54):
your kids love
the fact that
they can count on their dad loving
their mom.
And that's never going to stop.
They don't have to question.
Where you're going to be at night,
they have no question about
(30:14):
what you're up to.
They know you're going to love their
mom and you two are going to be
their parents.
Now there's divorce, I get it.
Sometimes it's not the person's
fault. Somebody walks out, somebody
misbehaves, whatever.
But I'm just saying right now, you,
as a dad,
stay faithful to your marriage.
That's the best gift you can give to
(30:34):
your kids.
Thank you so much for joining us for
Episode 185
with Pastor Bob Merritt.
This was just the first half of the
conversations. We're going to go
deep into some storytelling, some
practical stories of
his fatherhood journey
and the the not so great
moments and the really precious,
(30:56):
beautiful moments next week's
episode. Here's a quick clip from
the second half of my conversation
with Pastor Bob Merritt.
You might not know what to do.
You might say some things wrong, but
do not bail.
Don't walk away.
Don't don't you know,
ignore the issue.
Pay attention to the right time the
right away, but
(31:17):
stay in
the battle.
Don't just pretend
there's not an issue.
Don't pretend that it's going to fix
itself.
Don't abdicate the responsibility
of being a parent to the
culture.
You've got to be there. You've got
to be present.
So that clip, along with
about another twenty five minutes of
(31:37):
my conversation, will be coming at
you next week. Episode
186.
The show notes, the action
steps, the transcripts and links are
all going to be found for this
week's episode at
DadAWESOME.org/185.
So you can find all that information
in your podcast app or at those show
notes. Will encourage you guys.
Some of you have already left
(31:57):
ratings and reviews on
Apple podcast or Spotify.
That is a way that more dads are
finding this show and being
impacted by this ministry.
So I would be so grateful for
your rating and review to help more
dads find this ministry.
Guys, thanks for being DadAWESOME
for saying I'm not done learning,
I'm not done done being mentored.
I want to learn and grow and become
(32:19):
more intentional with my fatherhood
journey. So praying for you guys
this week. Let's go add some life to
the dad life.
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