As this podcast episode is being released on the anniversary of my father's death, I find myself being consumed by a different question than usual.
When did I start my healing process?
The answer... when the bleeding stopped!
When I physically fall, sometimes bhe bleeding doesn't happen immediately. The blood and pain take a minute to be registered by my brain and they suually hit at the same time. At that point there is no denying what has happened. For that brief second while you are waiting for the blood to appear you wonder if there will be any blood and if so, how bad will it be.
In grief when my father died and my mother and I walked into that store, I was in disbelief of what I saw. I couldn't beleive it was happening to me... itr took his funeral for it to really start to sink in that this was happening.
But what about the healing... when and how does that happen?
I had to realize that I could live on without my father. That is when the bleeding stopped. Once the bleeding stops only then can healing truly begin.
But healing to is painful. I recently fell and scraped up my elbo pretty bad. while the scrpar marks have scarred over every time I bump my arm against something or ove it the wrong way, it hurts... it's a painful reminder that something has happened to me.
That just means it may take just a little longer to heal... It also mean I may have a scar for a while.
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email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)
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