January 30, 2025 • 32 mins
We’re diving into the all-too-common struggle of overcommitment and overscheduling. Our guest, Karissa Dean, is a life and business coach who is passionate about empowering women to find their purpose and live it passionately. Karissa shares her insights on how to break free from the cycle of trying to do it all and instead focus on what truly fills your cup.
In this episode we discuss
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The importance of redefining “selfishness” and prioritizing self-care
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Strategies for offloading tasks and finding the right support
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The power of clear, honest communication in relationships
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Karissa’s daily rituals and how to discover what works best for you
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The freedom that comes from living by your own rules, not societal expectations
Want to skip ahead?
07:49 If you glass is full, you’re more likely to spill over than to be able to pour some of it into another cup.
11:29 When you offload a task, what self-care item are you filling in, instead of more work?
19:50 Communication is everything. It’s time for you to speak out for what you need.
22:29 Meditation is simply the practice of getting out of your own way, getting out of your head.
30:34 Give yourselve the permission to be yourself.
Karissa Dean
karissadean.com
Grab more resources at https://easystylewithsami.com
Follow us on Facebook at https://facebook.com/ssmulhern
Follow us on Instagram at https://instagram.com/ssmulhern
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (00:00):
Welcome to Easy Style with Sami. I'm your
(00:02):
host. Sami Bedell-Mulhern, eachepisode, I invite a friend,
family member, colleague or justsomeone I've met on this journey
called life, to come and sharetheir personal style and
approach to business, parenting,life and everything in between.
You'll hear motivational andinspirational stories that will
help you refine and build yourown personal style. Remember,
(00:25):
style is easy when it comes fromwithin.
Hey, friends, welcome to anotherepisode of easy style with Sami
and today I am joined by KarissaDean. Karissa, thanks for being
here today.
Karissa Dean (00:37):
Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to
speak with you and youraudience, yeah,
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (00:42):
So 2025, for me is so fun because I have
all these people on the podcastthat I've never met before,
which is a little bit new forme, but it's great because we
haven't really talked, and I getto know about you, and we just
get to have a fun conversationabout today, Over scheduling,
over prioritizing, not overprioritizing, maybe under
prioritizing, over schedulingand setting ourselves up for
(01:05):
failure, which we all do asmulti passionate humans and moms
and women and all of the things.So Karissa, I'm so grateful for
you to spend some time here withus today and kind of sharing
your experiences with us,because this is such an
important topic.
Karissa Dean (01:23):
Yeah, I'm excited, too. You know, it's funny what
you said, like the the intentionof it, right? And when we are
just multifaceted, it's so easyto over schedule, to over commit
because we want to do it all,especially those of us who do
(01:43):
have kids and we want to show upand give them everything that we
didn't have. And I thinkoftentimes what happens in that
is we neglect our own needs andour own desires. And you use the
word I'm losing it now, you usethe word priority, and I think
that was like a little bit of aFreudian slip, because I think
(02:06):
the reality is, we say we wantto prioritize our self right our
own well being, we can hold thatintention for ourselves, but
it's really the last thing onthe list, because we've already
stacked up So much that by thetime it gets to us, we've
already we're totally spent solike we want to hold that
(02:28):
intention to prioritize our ownwell being, but we don't,
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (02:31):
yeah, you're speaking. Yeah, I'm
excited to have thisconversation, because I'm hoping
that I'm going to get some moretips for myself too. So before
we kind of jump into all ofthat, why don't you share with
everybody a little bit about whoyou are and why this is a topic
that you're so passionate about?
Karissa Dean (02:49):
Yeah, so my name is Karissa Dean, and I am a life
and business coach, ICFcertified, and I really love
empowering women to find theirpurpose and live it
passionately, passionately, Ithink that, you know, as a wife
(03:09):
and a mom and I have multiplebusinesses, I'm a multi
passionate entrepreneur. It'sit's so important to be in
collaboration and community withother like minded thinkers. So
you know, my coaching businessis really the place where not
only do I get to connect withwomen who are growing their own
(03:33):
businesses and lives, but theyget to connect with each other
as well. So I'm building quitethe community and really hoping
to validate, empower andinspire. And one of the things
that I've gotten really good atis learning how to batch
content, batch things that needto be done in our businesses, so
(03:57):
that your business is workingfor you, so that you can
prioritize yourself so that youcan step away and that you can
really step into what do I needtoday? Instead of, oh my god,
here's this giant list of thingsI need to do today. So I'm
really, I've really become quitethe expert of how do I do so
that I can rest.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (04:19):
That's so good, and I agree with you,
like, I get through my day andall of a sudden I look at what
was blocked off on my calendaror what I had intended to do.
And sometimes it's kind of,sometimes it's great, and I'm
like, Yeah, I nailed today, likeI did all the things I said I
was gonna do, and sometimes it'sa hot freaking mess. So I guess
for me, one of the things thatI'm really interested in is, how
(04:42):
do we kind of work through themindset of honoring the tasks we
put into place for ourself justas much as we honor the tasks
that we put in place for otherpeople? Because that's where I
struggle. I have marked off likeI'm going to the gym on these
days. I have it all set, butit's an easy thing for me to be
like. Nope, I can skip that anddo these other things for other
people, because they're moreimportant. Like, how do we kind
(05:04):
of start to move through thatpiece?
Karissa Dean (05:09):
Ooh, I love this question. Okay, so really
exciting for me to talk aboutthis, because I think what
really the question you'reasking is, how do we get
selfish? And how can we redefineselfishness? So if you think you
know, I mean, there's all thesequotes and different ways of
(05:31):
analyzing it, but the realityis, is, if I have a glass here
that's full, and I'm trying topour this water into this cup,
it's really challenging to getall the water to fill into the
cup, right? I'm more likelygoing to spill some of the
water. And so if you think aboutyourself as you start your day
(05:54):
with this full cup, and you'reslowly pouring into other
people, whether that's personalrelationships, your kids, your
spouse, your partner, family,friends, your business, whether
you're entrepreneur or anemployee, doesn't matter the
things that you're doing betweennine to five, right? And then
(06:16):
you have, like, yourspirituality, right? So if I'm
full when I start my day and I'mpouring into this cup, I am also
at the same time leaking, and Italk about leaking energy all
the time. So when you'reconstantly in this state of
pouring, you're constantlyleaking, and you might be it
(06:40):
might be a slow leak, or itmight come out all at once,
right? And so the concept hereis you have to change your
mindset around I have tocontinuously fill my own cup as
I fill others. And so takingsmall, sustainable breaks
throughout your day to replenishwhat you've been pouring out all
(07:01):
day. And then it's also noticingwhere in my life do I have
energy leaves where I'm notbeing replenished, right? So
part of the work that I do inhelping women discover their
purpose is because when you'reoperating from your purpose,
when you're in your zone ofgenius, when you're doing the
work that lights you up, that'sgiving back to your cup
(07:22):
constantly. And it might not be100% but it's a much slower leap
than, let's say, you know, I'm,I'm somebody who's not super
like into sports. So if Isuddenly had a career as an
athlete, I'm going to be like,totally spent all day, right?
Versus being in my purpose,where my purpose is giving back
(07:46):
as I'm giving, does that makesense? Yeah, 100% and I think
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (07:49):
that's been because I have multiple
businesses, and I think that hasbeen the lesson that I have
learned is just, I love my job.I love what I do. That doesn't
mean I love every part of myjob. So even, like in a smaller
segment of that is like, whatare the what I'm working really
hard on this year is, what arethe tasks that I can offload
(08:10):
because other people can dothem? What are the things that
only I can do and that I enjoy?And then what are the things
that I feel like I should do butcould care less about and don't
want to do that. Deplete likethat has been a really hard
thing, I think, as anentrepreneur and as a solo
business owner, is really comingto terms with, who am I? How do
(08:30):
I want to show up, and lettinggo of some of the things I don't
want?
Karissa Dean (08:36):
Right? Exactly? And, you know, it's funny. I
love how the universe works,because today I held, I have a
group. It's called the hub, andtoday we met, and we did what I
call mad mapping. And in thatmad mapping, we put on our Alice
in Wonderland mad hat. Becausethe reality is, as
entrepreneurs, just like yousaid, you're doing everything
(08:56):
you are all the parts of yourbusiness, and the goal, right?
Is for you to, once you get to acertain point in business,
you're no longer the bookkeeperand the accountant and the sales
front and the behind, back endof the business and the front
end of the I mean, there's somany details, right? But as an
(09:16):
entrepreneur, you do have towear that, that hat that is
chaotic and crazy and here andthere and everywhere, and so
you're absolutely right. Part ofthe beautiful journey of
entrepreneurship isunderstanding, okay, I know how
to do it all, but I don't wantto, and I don't need to, nor
should i. And when you do startto understand that, and you
(09:38):
start to offload the things thattake you out of your zone of
genius. It gives you the freedomand flexibility to insert the
things that fill your cup backup. And so I think what you're
looking for here, you know, asfar as like a tip, is when you
offload, what are youonboarding? Are you onboarding?
(09:59):
Okay, I'm. Now I'm going to gofor a walk instead of doing my
bookkeeping, or I'm going to goto the gym instead of doing my
bookkeeping, or I'm going to goout to lunch with a girlfriend
instead of my bookkeeping, orI'm going to take a nap. And so
I think you have to knowyourself. You have to know what
reveals you. And if you don'tknow what reveals you, then you
have no idea how to fill yourown cup. And once you know what
(10:23):
refills you, where are youputting that back into your
base? Because that is, and it'slittle things. I mean, I think
in the personal developmentworld, especially when you're a
solo entrepreneur, and you'relike by yourself, working from
home, doing all you're wearingyour bad hat, you forget that it
(10:43):
can be simple things. It can beI'm gonna close my laptop for 10
minutes and I'm gonna go outsideand just stand in the grass. You
know, I'm gonna, like, insteadof taking my phone with me to go
to the bathroom, I'm gonna go tothe bathroom without any devices
and just be alone. You know whatI mean? Like, it's little, it's
little sustainable things. Youknow, instead of being on the
(11:06):
phone while I get water or teaor eat my lunch, I'm going to
intentionally open a book that Ireally have been wanting to read
or listen to, a podcast that Ireally wanted to be listening
to. And so it's about findingthe the really micro moments
that you can stack, and as youstack them, they become easier
(11:28):
to priority.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (11:29):
Well, I love what you said about when
you're offloading, what are youonboarding and really being
intentional with? Okay, if I'mfreeing up this space in my day,
it's not just to fill it withmore busy. It's to be
intentional with okay, I knowthat I need more space and time
for myself, so I'm going to makethe conscious decision that this
(11:50):
task is coming off my plate sothat I can do this, as opposed
to just so that I can have moretime in my day like I think.
I've never thought about it thatway, and that's super smart. But
I want to kind of pay back onthat, in that I'm a little bit
of a control freak, and I thinka lot of us are, and I think
within our businesses and withinour life, like I have a very
(12:11):
vivid memory of when I wasweaning my first child, and so
my husband would do the bedtimeroutine, and he did, you know,
he would she would cry, and shewould be really upset, and I
would sit in the room and justlisten, and I'd have to tell
myself, like, she's fine, he'sgot it, but everything in me is
like, I want to take control andtake over, and I can do this,
and I, you know, and so lettingdad be the great dad that he is,
(12:35):
and know that it might nothappen the same way that I would
do it, but that she is fine.Same is true in our businesses,
like, how can we sort of startto let go of some of that?
Because I think that is a bighurdle for people. I I can't let
go of these things, personal,professional, because I can't
let go of that control.
Karissa Dean (12:55):
Absolutely. Here's the thing, when you discover
what your zone of genius is, andthat that word is a concept from
Gay Hendricks, the big leap whenyou discover what your zone of
genius is, and you start toreally see the magic of what you
get to create when you're inyour zone of genius, 80% done is
(13:20):
better than your 100 becausethat gives you 100% space to be
in their own space. And so themore we can understand they're
not going to do it like us. Imean exactly to your point with
what you said, Sami, I know myhusband's going to like my
daughter is fine, and myhusband's got this. I know it's
(13:41):
not going to be done the waythat I would do it, but it's
going to get done. So if you canjust flip your mindset, and I
think too, when you're hiringthose parts, understand that you
might have to try fiveaccountants before you find the
one. Yeah, you might have to geta couple bookkeepers or virtual
assistants, or whatever it isthat you're hiring for, it's
(14:03):
okay to hire a couple people andbe like this, this person, isn't
it? I need someone, but it's ait's really it comes back to
that intentionality. If you haveworn the hat of all of the rules
in your entrepreneurialbusiness, then you know what the
standard of care is. E Brodskytalks about standard of care in
(14:24):
her book fair play, speaking torelationships, I think that
translates right over intobusiness. There's a standard of
care that I expect from mybookkeeper and my accountant,
right? Because we're trustingthem with our money, and if
they're not competent, ifthey're not willing to be like,
what is it that you need? Do youneed really good communication?
(14:47):
Do you need them to educate you?Do you need them to make
decisions for you? You know? Andso you do as an entrepreneur.
You do have to have that hat,and you gotta wear it, and you
gotta understand it. And. Onceyou understand the level of care
required for you to then stepinto your zone of genius, then
you hand it off. And I think,remember, you, you don't, you're
(15:12):
not stuck with whoever you can.I think that's where the fear is
right, because you trust yourhusband, right? You trust him,
so it's easier to hand that testover. Don't be afraid to hire,
to fire and to start over. Andeven prepare for it. Be prepared
that this person might not workout, and that's okay. I'm going
(15:33):
to learn something, I'm going toread, I'm going to have a better
understanding of the standard ofcare, right? And so I think we
let go of control by by holdingon to the truth that if I'm in
my zone of genius, and thisperson can do it, you know, I
mean, I like 80% but really,maybe it's 60% for you. I don't
(15:55):
know, like, pick your percentageand I and I know that they're
going to do it 80% that gives me100% to, like, create more to
generate more revenue, so thatmaybe I can find somebody who
does it 90% in a year from now.Like, what is that? Like? I
don't know about you, but when Isay that, I get really excited,
(16:17):
because I'm like, oh, it justkeeps getting better because I'm
intentional,
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (16:22):
yeah, well, I think the term that I've
heard, and we use a lot with ourclients, is failing fast, like
you don't have time to waste.Failure is inevitable. Things
aren't going to work all thetime, so fail fast, so you can
make those decisions quickly. Soto your point about hiring,
people put them through itright, see what they can do and
make a decision. So I thinkthat's, that's really good
(16:44):
advice as we kind of think abouthow we're going to move through
our day. But how important iscommunication? And more
importantly, like, that'ssomething I've really had to
learn, is my communicationstyle, and what I leave out that
seems obvious, that is notobvious. You know, how important
is that in kind of this activityof figuring out what fills up
(17:05):
our cup and what we kind ofneed, where we need support, you
know, just from our overallcommunity of people around us?
Karissa Dean (17:13):
Yeah, I'm gonna use the example. When you're in
the car and you're datingsomebody, and they look to you
and they say, What do you want?But deep down inside, you know,
like you already know that youwant tacos. Always tacos. Yeah,
(17:36):
your people pleasing, like yourold conditioning, all these
things start to creep in. And soinstead of saying, I'm really
craving tacos, you say, I don'tcare whatever you want. And they
and they go, oh, cool, sushi, itis. And you're like, I really
don't want sushi. And thenthey're like, but you just so
(17:58):
you have this like, back andforth. What if you just cut
straight through the to thetruth? What if you just said it?
Think of how much time, energyand effort could be avoided,
being wasted, like there's awhole half hour, hour, maybe
even a day's worth of anargument that I know happens
(18:18):
when women, especially women, donot just say what they need or
what they want or what theydesire or what they're craving,
right? So I like to think of itif we're talking about failing
fast, let's cut right to it.Let's get right into the into
the leads. Let's be honest,because the reality is, the
(18:41):
person who asked me what Iwanted for dinner. When I turn
to them and I say, I I'm cravingtacos, they're probably going to
be like, That, sounds good. Icould get a burrito. Or they're
going to say, Okay, what do youthink about going to this place?
I think they have tacos. I'mcraving a burrito. Yeah, cut
(19:04):
right to it. Communication iseverything. And I think we
fumble as females, you know,because that's our conditioning,
is to kind of like, pull backand to be the be the caregiver
to all. And I think that that'sbullshit. I think that it's time
for women to just say what theywhat they already know to be
(19:24):
true. And the reality is, when Istarted practicing this with my
husband, you know, we've beenmarried for 15 years now, when I
literally just that simple thingabout, what do you want to eat,
when I started to say exactlywhat I knew I was craving, it
cleared so much brain space,yeah, energetic space and and he
(19:45):
felt better. He's like, Thanksfor
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (19:50):
Yeah. I think it's so it's um, the
conversations we have in ourheads before we have the
conversations I think take up somuch space and energy. I. Um, I
always say, like, when myclients call, or I get a text
from a client, they're like,Hey, can we hop on a call real
quick? I, like, immediatelypanic and assume that, like,
I've screwed something uproyally, and go through this
(20:11):
whole, like, emotional thing.And usually it's just like, hey,
I had this great idea. What doyou think about this or
something? You know, it'susually so minuscule. And so I
think, you know, it'sinteresting. Once you learn
somebody's communication style,then you know how to read into
some of those things. You'relike, Oh yeah, totally cool.
Like, let's chat. You don't putthings off. You don't stress
(20:32):
about it. You don't sit in yourown fields, which, to your
point, yes, takes up so muchspace and energy,
Karissa Dean (20:39):
so much and I think the reality is, as
entrepreneurs, the more we goingback to the glass analogy, the
more you recognize where you'releaking energy and you just
stop. I mean, just give yourselfpermission to stop and see what
happens. It's like, suddenly youdo have more energy to go to the
gym. Suddenly you do have moreenergy to meet the girls for
(21:03):
happy hour. I mean, how many ofus as entrepreneurs, wives,
mothers, we are, we get to thatfour o'clock hour where we're
supposed to go out with ourgirlfriends and we're like, I
can't do it. I'm dying. Yeah,but that's like the one thing
that we need to re energizeourselves, to feel motivated and
to get back out there and do thework that we love.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (21:24):
Yeah, I know I literally, just before we
got on this was like, said to myhusband, can you, can you, can I
send you to the store today?Like, I know what I'm making for
dinner. It's only six things,but can you just please run to
the store for me after work sothat I can not have to deal with
it So little things like that.But
Karissa Dean (21:45):
totally fine, yeah, he was probably totally
happy to do it. Yeah, exactly.Okay. So
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (21:51):
I love how you talked earlier about find
the little pockets in your dayto kind of start to fill your
cup back up. So, like I love tohave a sticky note by my desk
that has some of the things thatI love that helped me out, just
because I don't want to thinkabout it. But it took me forever
to get to that point, because Iyou fall into the trap of like,
(22:14):
like, I should meditate, or Ishould do these things. So like,
how can we start to reallydiscover ourselves, as
ourselves, and think about whatactually does light us up.
That's not in comparison toeverybody else.
Karissa Dean (22:29):
Totally Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad
news, but if you're anentrepreneur, entrepreneur, you
should meditate and here'shere's here's why I say that if
you read about any if you readabout any really highly
successful entrepreneur, theyhave something that's called a
(22:50):
meditative practice. It doesn'thave to be sitting crisscross
applesauce with your eyes, okay?Meditation is simply the
practice of getting out of yourown way, getting out of your
head. So I see meditation aswalking, biking, running,
(23:10):
conversation, pure silence,stepping outside, standing on
the grass, and just breathing,you know, like I mentioned,
going to the restroom withoutyour phone, like any time that
you can cultivate a simplesilence. I believe that that's
meditative. I think that that'swhen that we get the pings of
(23:33):
this is what I need. So toanswer your question, I think to
get to know yourself, you haveto quiet all the noise, yeah,
you have to to get out of theshoulds of I should be walking
the dog right now, or I shouldbe making dinner, or I should
be, like, engaging with mykiddos, or I should be writing
(23:54):
that email when you when yougive yourself space to Be quiet,
you get to know yourself. Andit's like when you're quiet, you
discover the things that youmight be passionate about. You
remember, Oh, I really, I stilllove swimming. I wonder if I
could figure out a swim class Icould go to, right? So it's like
(24:16):
in those moments where there'snothing else going on, give
yourself the freedom to explorewhat would be exciting to you?
Oh, I've always wanted to take acooking class. Maybe I could
sign up for a cooking class,like, maybe it could be a fun
date night thing for me and myhusband. So you're always going
to have the shoulds, but ifyou're not getting if you're not
(24:39):
taking the time to get quiet,you're going to fill your time
with other people's shoulds, andyou'll never know your so I
really believe in getting quiet.You have to make time to get
quiet. And again, I love, I loveyour traditional, you know,
meditation. But I also love. Ofjust sitting back and kind of
(25:02):
looking at my space and takingin the present moment without
the distractions, even withoutmusic, right?
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (25:11):
I That's such a good approach. Because I,
you know, I think the reason whymeditation stresses me out is
it's like expect. There's anexpectation to it, like I need
to sit here and do this, and Ishould experience this, and I
have to do it for this period oftime. So I love the way that you
kind of reframed that, because Ithink that makes a lot of a lot
of sense. Okay, well, before wewrap this up, I wanted to ask
(25:34):
you what is kind of, how do youstart your day, and how do you
kind of wind down your day?Like, do you have rituals that
you do? And what does that looklike for you?
Karissa Dean (25:45):
You probably can guess it. Meditate. Yeah, so I
meditation is the single thingthat saved me from myself,
because it's how I learned who Iwas. Meditation is huge in what
I teach my clients, and it'swhat I practice. So I don't
(26:06):
teach anything that I have itimplemented for myself. So
today, for example, the wake uptime for my daughter was six or
715 and my husband was like, I'mgoing to get up at 645, and
shower. So I knew, Okay, I will.I like to have a half hour to an
hour by myself. What? What?How's my body feel, right? I
(26:26):
check in with myself the nightbefore. How's my body feel? How
much rest do I need? And Idecided, you know, I'm going to
wake up at six. That gives me asolid 45 minutes. I can make the
coffee, I can do my 15 minutemeditation, I can journal, I can
pull my tarot cards, and by 645he's going to be coming out the
bedroom door, and boom, theregoes our day. So for me, the
(26:48):
nighttime ritual is checking inon my feeling. Because the
reality is, some days I'm tootired to get up at six, and I
and I should really just sleepin to 645 and we should get up
together and tackle the daytogether. And so I think when
you slow down enough to listento yourself, you know what you
need. So that's how I play it.I'm not, I'm not super like,
(27:11):
type a, oh, you have to or else.And then there's that whole
like, shame and guilt. Like, Idon't go there. I really check
in with myself, but I have adaily practice of meditating and
journaling, because I reallywant to know who I am, because I
think when I know who I am, Iget to be my best expression to
(27:31):
the world around me, and when Ido that, it's a mirror for other
people to do the same and toexperience the joy that comes
with this is who I am. I lovewho I am. I'm excited to be here
living this life, and you, youbecome a reflection for other
people to find the motivation todo that for themselves. So for
(27:53):
me, it's meditation. I think forother people, it could be
nighttime meditation. It couldbe getting up and exercising. I
have clients who get up theylove to stretch or go on walks.
I think it can be anything, butit's it really is. My
selfishness came when I reallycommitted to what works for me
(28:15):
and what works for me and myfamily is getting up before
everyone else, before the chaosstarts. I've already taken care
of myself, and now I'm addictedto it, and I can tell, like the
the days when I skip it, likethe days when I skip it, my
daughter or my husband will belike, Did you meditate? No, you
(28:38):
know. And so I think one of thethings I really want to make
sure your listeners and youunderstand Sammy is that you're
worthy of what makes sense foryou. And so my life, I live by
my roles. What are your roles?What's your life? What makes
sense you?
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (28:56):
Well, I love that because you alluded to
that a little bit earlier, whenyou were talking about like,
giving it a chance to work, andseeing the results, right of
what that is, and feeling thatand knowing that the time and
the effort that you put into thework is valuable and does have
purpose. I know for me, likethat's very much where I'm at. I
(29:17):
have five years until we'reempty nesters, and so it's like,
how, how do I? What do I, who doI want to be when I don't have
them to take care of? And thatdoesn't have to wait until
they're gone, because it can, itcan start now. And so it's
definitely something that's onmy mind. So that this
(29:38):
conversation was kind of perfecttiming to kind of keep pushing
me in that direction. But Ilove, yeah, I love the way that
you kind of approach it, andliving by your own rules and
kind of working through thattogether and understanding, I
think comparison in this countryis the most toxic trait that we
(29:58):
have going on right now. And soI. But the more you can kind of
be your own person. I think themore I do believe, the more that
will come to you because you'rebeing authentic and being
Karissa Dean (30:08):
yourself Exactly. That's exactly it and you, and
the more that you choose that asan individual. Again, you're a
mirror for somebody else to dothat, and we need permission to
be ourselves. Because thereality is, if we all did
everything the exact same, we'dwe'd be living on The Truman
Show. Yeah, and we all know howthat ended. True. That's true.
(30:31):
So we should, we shouldcelebrate our differences. I
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (30:34):
agree. Well, Karissa, there's this went
by so fast, and there are somany lovely nuggets of wisdom
that are in this episode, so wewill make sure that we link all
of those up in the show notes.But if people want to connect
with you, learn more about thework that you do, and just kind
of hang out with you online, howdo they do that?
Karissa Dean (30:53):
Yeah, I have a podcast. It's called Critical
Conversations. Um, I'm on mostactive on Instagram, but I'm
pretty much on every socialmedia platform, and anyone can
visit my website for freeresources, including a monthly
blog post, Karissa dean.com andanyone who just wants to say hi
(31:14):
or is curious about books oranything, email me hello at
Karissadean.com
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (31:21):
Yeah, I will link all that up in the
show notes ateasystylewithsami.com/35 but
Karissa, thank you so much foryour time and energy and sharing
your gifts with us.
Karissa Dean (31:33):
Thank you, Sami.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (31:35):
I want to say a big thank you again to
Karissa for joining us today. Iapologize if you're watching
this on YouTube, we had somevideo issues, and so there is no
video for this episode, butthat's okay, because the content
in this episode was amazing. Ireally hope that you have some
ways to reframe how you'respending your time, what you're
doing in your day, how you'remaking time for yourself. I know
(31:55):
I do something I'm activelyworking on, and I can't wait to
hear what you take away fromthis episode and what you're
going to change, and how youimplement your schedule, how you
ask for help, and how you showup for yourself. Because I know
you're worried about how youshow up for other people, but
you can grab the show notes forthis episode at
easystylewithsami.com/35 andthat is S, A, M, I, and I, thank
(32:19):
you for being here. Make sureyou hit subscribe so you do not
miss out on a single episode. Wehave some great stuff coming up
for you this year in 2025 and Idon't want you to miss it and
share it with a friend that youthink might be struggling with
their schedule as well. We alldo it at certain times in our
lives, and sometimes we need tohear this message. I know I'll
be coming back to this episodebecause also, as we're in
(32:40):
different phases and stages inour life and busyness, we tend
to need to hear differentthings, and so I'm excited to
have this in my back pocket tobe able to come back and listen
to so that I can glean differentthings when I need it. So again,
show notes ateasystylewithsami.com/35 and I
will see you in the next one.
Welcome to Easy Style with Sami. I'm your
(00:02):
host. Sami Bedell-Mulhern, eachepisode, I invite a friend,
family member, colleague or justsomeone I've met on this journey
called life, to come and sharetheir personal style and
approach to business, parenting,life and everything in between.
You'll hear motivational andinspirational stories that will
help you refine and build yourown personal style. Remember,
(00:25):
style is easy when it comes fromwithin.
Hey, friends, welcome to anotherepisode of easy style with Sami
and today I am joined by KarissaDean. Karissa, thanks for being
here today.
Karissa Dean (00:37):
Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to
speak with you and youraudience, yeah,
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (00:42):
So 2025, for me is so fun because I have
all these people on the podcastthat I've never met before,
which is a little bit new forme, but it's great because we
haven't really talked, and I getto know about you, and we just
get to have a fun conversationabout today, Over scheduling,
over prioritizing, not overprioritizing, maybe under
prioritizing, over schedulingand setting ourselves up for
(01:05):
failure, which we all do asmulti passionate humans and moms
and women and all of the things.So Karissa, I'm so grateful for
you to spend some time here withus today and kind of sharing
your experiences with us,because this is such an
important topic.
Karissa Dean (01:23):
Yeah, I'm excited, too. You know, it's funny what
you said, like the the intentionof it, right? And when we are
just multifaceted, it's so easyto over schedule, to over commit
because we want to do it all,especially those of us who do
(01:43):
have kids and we want to show upand give them everything that we
didn't have. And I thinkoftentimes what happens in that
is we neglect our own needs andour own desires. And you use the
word I'm losing it now, you usethe word priority, and I think
that was like a little bit of aFreudian slip, because I think
(02:06):
the reality is, we say we wantto prioritize our self right our
own well being, we can hold thatintention for ourselves, but
it's really the last thing onthe list, because we've already
stacked up So much that by thetime it gets to us, we've
already we're totally spent solike we want to hold that
(02:28):
intention to prioritize our ownwell being, but we don't,
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (02:31):
yeah, you're speaking. Yeah, I'm
excited to have thisconversation, because I'm hoping
that I'm going to get some moretips for myself too. So before
we kind of jump into all ofthat, why don't you share with
everybody a little bit about whoyou are and why this is a topic
that you're so passionate about?
Karissa Dean (02:49):
Yeah, so my name is Karissa Dean, and I am a life
and business coach, ICFcertified, and I really love
empowering women to find theirpurpose and live it
passionately, passionately, Ithink that, you know, as a wife
(03:09):
and a mom and I have multiplebusinesses, I'm a multi
passionate entrepreneur. It'sit's so important to be in
collaboration and community withother like minded thinkers. So
you know, my coaching businessis really the place where not
only do I get to connect withwomen who are growing their own
(03:33):
businesses and lives, but theyget to connect with each other
as well. So I'm building quitethe community and really hoping
to validate, empower andinspire. And one of the things
that I've gotten really good atis learning how to batch
content, batch things that needto be done in our businesses, so
(03:57):
that your business is workingfor you, so that you can
prioritize yourself so that youcan step away and that you can
really step into what do I needtoday? Instead of, oh my god,
here's this giant list of thingsI need to do today. So I'm
really, I've really become quitethe expert of how do I do so
that I can rest.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (04:19):
That's so good, and I agree with you,
like, I get through my day andall of a sudden I look at what
was blocked off on my calendaror what I had intended to do.
And sometimes it's kind of,sometimes it's great, and I'm
like, Yeah, I nailed today, likeI did all the things I said I
was gonna do, and sometimes it'sa hot freaking mess. So I guess
for me, one of the things thatI'm really interested in is, how
(04:42):
do we kind of work through themindset of honoring the tasks we
put into place for ourself justas much as we honor the tasks
that we put in place for otherpeople? Because that's where I
struggle. I have marked off likeI'm going to the gym on these
days. I have it all set, butit's an easy thing for me to be
like. Nope, I can skip that anddo these other things for other
people, because they're moreimportant. Like, how do we kind
(05:04):
of start to move through thatpiece?
Karissa Dean (05:09):
Ooh, I love this question. Okay, so really
exciting for me to talk aboutthis, because I think what
really the question you'reasking is, how do we get
selfish? And how can we redefineselfishness? So if you think you
know, I mean, there's all thesequotes and different ways of
(05:31):
analyzing it, but the realityis, is, if I have a glass here
that's full, and I'm trying topour this water into this cup,
it's really challenging to getall the water to fill into the
cup, right? I'm more likelygoing to spill some of the
water. And so if you think aboutyourself as you start your day
(05:54):
with this full cup, and you'reslowly pouring into other
people, whether that's personalrelationships, your kids, your
spouse, your partner, family,friends, your business, whether
you're entrepreneur or anemployee, doesn't matter the
things that you're doing betweennine to five, right? And then
(06:16):
you have, like, yourspirituality, right? So if I'm
full when I start my day and I'mpouring into this cup, I am also
at the same time leaking, and Italk about leaking energy all
the time. So when you'reconstantly in this state of
pouring, you're constantlyleaking, and you might be it
(06:40):
might be a slow leak, or itmight come out all at once,
right? And so the concept hereis you have to change your
mindset around I have tocontinuously fill my own cup as
I fill others. And so takingsmall, sustainable breaks
throughout your day to replenishwhat you've been pouring out all
(07:01):
day. And then it's also noticingwhere in my life do I have
energy leaves where I'm notbeing replenished, right? So
part of the work that I do inhelping women discover their
purpose is because when you'reoperating from your purpose,
when you're in your zone ofgenius, when you're doing the
work that lights you up, that'sgiving back to your cup
(07:22):
constantly. And it might not be100% but it's a much slower leap
than, let's say, you know, I'm,I'm somebody who's not super
like into sports. So if Isuddenly had a career as an
athlete, I'm going to be like,totally spent all day, right?
Versus being in my purpose,where my purpose is giving back
(07:46):
as I'm giving, does that makesense? Yeah, 100% and I think
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (07:49):
that's been because I have multiple
businesses, and I think that hasbeen the lesson that I have
learned is just, I love my job.I love what I do. That doesn't
mean I love every part of myjob. So even, like in a smaller
segment of that is like, whatare the what I'm working really
hard on this year is, what arethe tasks that I can offload
(08:10):
because other people can dothem? What are the things that
only I can do and that I enjoy?And then what are the things
that I feel like I should do butcould care less about and don't
want to do that. Deplete likethat has been a really hard
thing, I think, as anentrepreneur and as a solo
business owner, is really comingto terms with, who am I? How do
(08:30):
I want to show up, and lettinggo of some of the things I don't
want?
Karissa Dean (08:36):
Right? Exactly? And, you know, it's funny. I
love how the universe works,because today I held, I have a
group. It's called the hub, andtoday we met, and we did what I
call mad mapping. And in thatmad mapping, we put on our Alice
in Wonderland mad hat. Becausethe reality is, as
entrepreneurs, just like yousaid, you're doing everything
(08:56):
you are all the parts of yourbusiness, and the goal, right?
Is for you to, once you get to acertain point in business,
you're no longer the bookkeeperand the accountant and the sales
front and the behind, back endof the business and the front
end of the I mean, there's somany details, right? But as an
(09:16):
entrepreneur, you do have towear that, that hat that is
chaotic and crazy and here andthere and everywhere, and so
you're absolutely right. Part ofthe beautiful journey of
entrepreneurship isunderstanding, okay, I know how
to do it all, but I don't wantto, and I don't need to, nor
should i. And when you do startto understand that, and you
(09:38):
start to offload the things thattake you out of your zone of
genius. It gives you the freedomand flexibility to insert the
things that fill your cup backup. And so I think what you're
looking for here, you know, asfar as like a tip, is when you
offload, what are youonboarding? Are you onboarding?
(09:59):
Okay, I'm. Now I'm going to gofor a walk instead of doing my
bookkeeping, or I'm going to goto the gym instead of doing my
bookkeeping, or I'm going to goout to lunch with a girlfriend
instead of my bookkeeping, orI'm going to take a nap. And so
I think you have to knowyourself. You have to know what
reveals you. And if you don'tknow what reveals you, then you
have no idea how to fill yourown cup. And once you know what
(10:23):
refills you, where are youputting that back into your
base? Because that is, and it'slittle things. I mean, I think
in the personal developmentworld, especially when you're a
solo entrepreneur, and you'relike by yourself, working from
home, doing all you're wearingyour bad hat, you forget that it
(10:43):
can be simple things. It can beI'm gonna close my laptop for 10
minutes and I'm gonna go outsideand just stand in the grass. You
know, I'm gonna, like, insteadof taking my phone with me to go
to the bathroom, I'm gonna go tothe bathroom without any devices
and just be alone. You know whatI mean? Like, it's little, it's
little sustainable things. Youknow, instead of being on the
(11:06):
phone while I get water or teaor eat my lunch, I'm going to
intentionally open a book that Ireally have been wanting to read
or listen to, a podcast that Ireally wanted to be listening
to. And so it's about findingthe the really micro moments
that you can stack, and as youstack them, they become easier
(11:28):
to priority.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (11:29):
Well, I love what you said about when
you're offloading, what are youonboarding and really being
intentional with? Okay, if I'mfreeing up this space in my day,
it's not just to fill it withmore busy. It's to be
intentional with okay, I knowthat I need more space and time
for myself, so I'm going to makethe conscious decision that this
(11:50):
task is coming off my plate sothat I can do this, as opposed
to just so that I can have moretime in my day like I think.
I've never thought about it thatway, and that's super smart. But
I want to kind of pay back onthat, in that I'm a little bit
of a control freak, and I thinka lot of us are, and I think
within our businesses and withinour life, like I have a very
(12:11):
vivid memory of when I wasweaning my first child, and so
my husband would do the bedtimeroutine, and he did, you know,
he would she would cry, and shewould be really upset, and I
would sit in the room and justlisten, and I'd have to tell
myself, like, she's fine, he'sgot it, but everything in me is
like, I want to take control andtake over, and I can do this,
and I, you know, and so lettingdad be the great dad that he is,
(12:35):
and know that it might nothappen the same way that I would
do it, but that she is fine.Same is true in our businesses,
like, how can we sort of startto let go of some of that?
Because I think that is a bighurdle for people. I I can't let
go of these things, personal,professional, because I can't
let go of that control.
Karissa Dean (12:55):
Absolutely. Here's the thing, when you discover
what your zone of genius is, andthat that word is a concept from
Gay Hendricks, the big leap whenyou discover what your zone of
genius is, and you start toreally see the magic of what you
get to create when you're inyour zone of genius, 80% done is
(13:20):
better than your 100 becausethat gives you 100% space to be
in their own space. And so themore we can understand they're
not going to do it like us. Imean exactly to your point with
what you said, Sami, I know myhusband's going to like my
daughter is fine, and myhusband's got this. I know it's
(13:41):
not going to be done the waythat I would do it, but it's
going to get done. So if you canjust flip your mindset, and I
think too, when you're hiringthose parts, understand that you
might have to try fiveaccountants before you find the
one. Yeah, you might have to geta couple bookkeepers or virtual
assistants, or whatever it isthat you're hiring for, it's
(14:03):
okay to hire a couple people andbe like this, this person, isn't
it? I need someone, but it's ait's really it comes back to
that intentionality. If you haveworn the hat of all of the rules
in your entrepreneurialbusiness, then you know what the
standard of care is. E Brodskytalks about standard of care in
(14:24):
her book fair play, speaking torelationships, I think that
translates right over intobusiness. There's a standard of
care that I expect from mybookkeeper and my accountant,
right? Because we're trustingthem with our money, and if
they're not competent, ifthey're not willing to be like,
what is it that you need? Do youneed really good communication?
(14:47):
Do you need them to educate you?Do you need them to make
decisions for you? You know? Andso you do as an entrepreneur.
You do have to have that hat,and you gotta wear it, and you
gotta understand it. And. Onceyou understand the level of care
required for you to then stepinto your zone of genius, then
you hand it off. And I think,remember, you, you don't, you're
(15:12):
not stuck with whoever you can.I think that's where the fear is
right, because you trust yourhusband, right? You trust him,
so it's easier to hand that testover. Don't be afraid to hire,
to fire and to start over. Andeven prepare for it. Be prepared
that this person might not workout, and that's okay. I'm going
(15:33):
to learn something, I'm going toread, I'm going to have a better
understanding of the standard ofcare, right? And so I think we
let go of control by by holdingon to the truth that if I'm in
my zone of genius, and thisperson can do it, you know, I
mean, I like 80% but really,maybe it's 60% for you. I don't
(15:55):
know, like, pick your percentageand I and I know that they're
going to do it 80% that gives me100% to, like, create more to
generate more revenue, so thatmaybe I can find somebody who
does it 90% in a year from now.Like, what is that? Like? I
don't know about you, but when Isay that, I get really excited,
(16:17):
because I'm like, oh, it justkeeps getting better because I'm
intentional,
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (16:22):
yeah, well, I think the term that I've
heard, and we use a lot with ourclients, is failing fast, like
you don't have time to waste.Failure is inevitable. Things
aren't going to work all thetime, so fail fast, so you can
make those decisions quickly. Soto your point about hiring,
people put them through itright, see what they can do and
make a decision. So I thinkthat's, that's really good
(16:44):
advice as we kind of think abouthow we're going to move through
our day. But how important iscommunication? And more
importantly, like, that'ssomething I've really had to
learn, is my communicationstyle, and what I leave out that
seems obvious, that is notobvious. You know, how important
is that in kind of this activityof figuring out what fills up
(17:05):
our cup and what we kind ofneed, where we need support, you
know, just from our overallcommunity of people around us?
Karissa Dean (17:13):
Yeah, I'm gonna use the example. When you're in
the car and you're datingsomebody, and they look to you
and they say, What do you want?But deep down inside, you know,
like you already know that youwant tacos. Always tacos. Yeah,
(17:36):
your people pleasing, like yourold conditioning, all these
things start to creep in. And soinstead of saying, I'm really
craving tacos, you say, I don'tcare whatever you want. And they
and they go, oh, cool, sushi, itis. And you're like, I really
don't want sushi. And thenthey're like, but you just so
(17:58):
you have this like, back andforth. What if you just cut
straight through the to thetruth? What if you just said it?
Think of how much time, energyand effort could be avoided,
being wasted, like there's awhole half hour, hour, maybe
even a day's worth of anargument that I know happens
(18:18):
when women, especially women, donot just say what they need or
what they want or what theydesire or what they're craving,
right? So I like to think of itif we're talking about failing
fast, let's cut right to it.Let's get right into the into
the leads. Let's be honest,because the reality is, the
(18:41):
person who asked me what Iwanted for dinner. When I turn
to them and I say, I I'm cravingtacos, they're probably going to
be like, That, sounds good. Icould get a burrito. Or they're
going to say, Okay, what do youthink about going to this place?
I think they have tacos. I'mcraving a burrito. Yeah, cut
(19:04):
right to it. Communication iseverything. And I think we
fumble as females, you know,because that's our conditioning,
is to kind of like, pull backand to be the be the caregiver
to all. And I think that that'sbullshit. I think that it's time
for women to just say what theywhat they already know to be
(19:24):
true. And the reality is, when Istarted practicing this with my
husband, you know, we've beenmarried for 15 years now, when I
literally just that simple thingabout, what do you want to eat,
when I started to say exactlywhat I knew I was craving, it
cleared so much brain space,yeah, energetic space and and he
(19:45):
felt better. He's like, Thanksfor
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (19:50):
Yeah. I think it's so it's um, the
conversations we have in ourheads before we have the
conversations I think take up somuch space and energy. I. Um, I
always say, like, when myclients call, or I get a text
from a client, they're like,Hey, can we hop on a call real
quick? I, like, immediatelypanic and assume that, like,
I've screwed something uproyally, and go through this
(20:11):
whole, like, emotional thing.And usually it's just like, hey,
I had this great idea. What doyou think about this or
something? You know, it'susually so minuscule. And so I
think, you know, it'sinteresting. Once you learn
somebody's communication style,then you know how to read into
some of those things. You'relike, Oh yeah, totally cool.
Like, let's chat. You don't putthings off. You don't stress
(20:32):
about it. You don't sit in yourown fields, which, to your
point, yes, takes up so muchspace and energy,
Karissa Dean (20:39):
so much and I think the reality is, as
entrepreneurs, the more we goingback to the glass analogy, the
more you recognize where you'releaking energy and you just
stop. I mean, just give yourselfpermission to stop and see what
happens. It's like, suddenly youdo have more energy to go to the
gym. Suddenly you do have moreenergy to meet the girls for
(21:03):
happy hour. I mean, how many ofus as entrepreneurs, wives,
mothers, we are, we get to thatfour o'clock hour where we're
supposed to go out with ourgirlfriends and we're like, I
can't do it. I'm dying. Yeah,but that's like the one thing
that we need to re energizeourselves, to feel motivated and
to get back out there and do thework that we love.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (21:24):
Yeah, I know I literally, just before we
got on this was like, said to myhusband, can you, can you, can I
send you to the store today?Like, I know what I'm making for
dinner. It's only six things,but can you just please run to
the store for me after work sothat I can not have to deal with
it So little things like that.But
Karissa Dean (21:45):
totally fine, yeah, he was probably totally
happy to do it. Yeah, exactly.Okay. So
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (21:51):
I love how you talked earlier about find
the little pockets in your dayto kind of start to fill your
cup back up. So, like I love tohave a sticky note by my desk
that has some of the things thatI love that helped me out, just
because I don't want to thinkabout it. But it took me forever
to get to that point, because Iyou fall into the trap of like,
(22:14):
like, I should meditate, or Ishould do these things. So like,
how can we start to reallydiscover ourselves, as
ourselves, and think about whatactually does light us up.
That's not in comparison toeverybody else.
Karissa Dean (22:29):
Totally Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad
news, but if you're anentrepreneur, entrepreneur, you
should meditate and here'shere's here's why I say that if
you read about any if you readabout any really highly
successful entrepreneur, theyhave something that's called a
(22:50):
meditative practice. It doesn'thave to be sitting crisscross
applesauce with your eyes, okay?Meditation is simply the
practice of getting out of yourown way, getting out of your
head. So I see meditation aswalking, biking, running,
(23:10):
conversation, pure silence,stepping outside, standing on
the grass, and just breathing,you know, like I mentioned,
going to the restroom withoutyour phone, like any time that
you can cultivate a simplesilence. I believe that that's
meditative. I think that that'swhen that we get the pings of
(23:33):
this is what I need. So toanswer your question, I think to
get to know yourself, you haveto quiet all the noise, yeah,
you have to to get out of theshoulds of I should be walking
the dog right now, or I shouldbe making dinner, or I should
be, like, engaging with mykiddos, or I should be writing
(23:54):
that email when you when yougive yourself space to Be quiet,
you get to know yourself. Andit's like when you're quiet, you
discover the things that youmight be passionate about. You
remember, Oh, I really, I stilllove swimming. I wonder if I
could figure out a swim class Icould go to, right? So it's like
(24:16):
in those moments where there'snothing else going on, give
yourself the freedom to explorewhat would be exciting to you?
Oh, I've always wanted to take acooking class. Maybe I could
sign up for a cooking class,like, maybe it could be a fun
date night thing for me and myhusband. So you're always going
to have the shoulds, but ifyou're not getting if you're not
(24:39):
taking the time to get quiet,you're going to fill your time
with other people's shoulds, andyou'll never know your so I
really believe in getting quiet.You have to make time to get
quiet. And again, I love, I loveyour traditional, you know,
meditation. But I also love. Ofjust sitting back and kind of
(25:02):
looking at my space and takingin the present moment without
the distractions, even withoutmusic, right?
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (25:11):
I That's such a good approach. Because I,
you know, I think the reason whymeditation stresses me out is
it's like expect. There's anexpectation to it, like I need
to sit here and do this, and Ishould experience this, and I
have to do it for this period oftime. So I love the way that you
kind of reframed that, because Ithink that makes a lot of a lot
of sense. Okay, well, before wewrap this up, I wanted to ask
(25:34):
you what is kind of, how do youstart your day, and how do you
kind of wind down your day?Like, do you have rituals that
you do? And what does that looklike for you?
Karissa Dean (25:45):
You probably can guess it. Meditate. Yeah, so I
meditation is the single thingthat saved me from myself,
because it's how I learned who Iwas. Meditation is huge in what
I teach my clients, and it'swhat I practice. So I don't
(26:06):
teach anything that I have itimplemented for myself. So
today, for example, the wake uptime for my daughter was six or
715 and my husband was like, I'mgoing to get up at 645, and
shower. So I knew, Okay, I will.I like to have a half hour to an
hour by myself. What? What?How's my body feel, right? I
(26:26):
check in with myself the nightbefore. How's my body feel? How
much rest do I need? And Idecided, you know, I'm going to
wake up at six. That gives me asolid 45 minutes. I can make the
coffee, I can do my 15 minutemeditation, I can journal, I can
pull my tarot cards, and by 645he's going to be coming out the
bedroom door, and boom, theregoes our day. So for me, the
(26:48):
nighttime ritual is checking inon my feeling. Because the
reality is, some days I'm tootired to get up at six, and I
and I should really just sleepin to 645 and we should get up
together and tackle the daytogether. And so I think when
you slow down enough to listento yourself, you know what you
need. So that's how I play it.I'm not, I'm not super like,
(27:11):
type a, oh, you have to or else.And then there's that whole
like, shame and guilt. Like, Idon't go there. I really check
in with myself, but I have adaily practice of meditating and
journaling, because I reallywant to know who I am, because I
think when I know who I am, Iget to be my best expression to
(27:31):
the world around me, and when Ido that, it's a mirror for other
people to do the same and toexperience the joy that comes
with this is who I am. I lovewho I am. I'm excited to be here
living this life, and you, youbecome a reflection for other
people to find the motivation todo that for themselves. So for
(27:53):
me, it's meditation. I think forother people, it could be
nighttime meditation. It couldbe getting up and exercising. I
have clients who get up theylove to stretch or go on walks.
I think it can be anything, butit's it really is. My
selfishness came when I reallycommitted to what works for me
(28:15):
and what works for me and myfamily is getting up before
everyone else, before the chaosstarts. I've already taken care
of myself, and now I'm addictedto it, and I can tell, like the
the days when I skip it, likethe days when I skip it, my
daughter or my husband will belike, Did you meditate? No, you
(28:38):
know. And so I think one of thethings I really want to make
sure your listeners and youunderstand Sammy is that you're
worthy of what makes sense foryou. And so my life, I live by
my roles. What are your roles?What's your life? What makes
sense you?
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (28:56):
Well, I love that because you alluded to
that a little bit earlier, whenyou were talking about like,
giving it a chance to work, andseeing the results, right of
what that is, and feeling thatand knowing that the time and
the effort that you put into thework is valuable and does have
purpose. I know for me, likethat's very much where I'm at. I
(29:17):
have five years until we'reempty nesters, and so it's like,
how, how do I? What do I, who doI want to be when I don't have
them to take care of? And thatdoesn't have to wait until
they're gone, because it can, itcan start now. And so it's
definitely something that's onmy mind. So that this
(29:38):
conversation was kind of perfecttiming to kind of keep pushing
me in that direction. But Ilove, yeah, I love the way that
you kind of approach it, andliving by your own rules and
kind of working through thattogether and understanding, I
think comparison in this countryis the most toxic trait that we
(29:58):
have going on right now. And soI. But the more you can kind of
be your own person. I think themore I do believe, the more that
will come to you because you'rebeing authentic and being
Karissa Dean (30:08):
yourself Exactly. That's exactly it and you, and
the more that you choose that asan individual. Again, you're a
mirror for somebody else to dothat, and we need permission to
be ourselves. Because thereality is, if we all did
everything the exact same, we'dwe'd be living on The Truman
Show. Yeah, and we all know howthat ended. True. That's true.
(30:31):
So we should, we shouldcelebrate our differences. I
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (30:34):
agree. Well, Karissa, there's this went
by so fast, and there are somany lovely nuggets of wisdom
that are in this episode, so wewill make sure that we link all
of those up in the show notes.But if people want to connect
with you, learn more about thework that you do, and just kind
of hang out with you online, howdo they do that?
Karissa Dean (30:53):
Yeah, I have a podcast. It's called Critical
Conversations. Um, I'm on mostactive on Instagram, but I'm
pretty much on every socialmedia platform, and anyone can
visit my website for freeresources, including a monthly
blog post, Karissa dean.com andanyone who just wants to say hi
(31:14):
or is curious about books oranything, email me hello at
Karissadean.com
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (31:21):
Yeah, I will link all that up in the
show notes ateasystylewithsami.com/35 but
Karissa, thank you so much foryour time and energy and sharing
your gifts with us.
Karissa Dean (31:33):
Thank you, Sami.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (31:35):
I want to say a big thank you again to
Karissa for joining us today. Iapologize if you're watching
this on YouTube, we had somevideo issues, and so there is no
video for this episode, butthat's okay, because the content
in this episode was amazing. Ireally hope that you have some
ways to reframe how you'respending your time, what you're
doing in your day, how you'remaking time for yourself. I know
(31:55):
I do something I'm activelyworking on, and I can't wait to
hear what you take away fromthis episode and what you're
going to change, and how youimplement your schedule, how you
ask for help, and how you showup for yourself. Because I know
you're worried about how youshow up for other people, but
you can grab the show notes forthis episode at
easystylewithsami.com/35 andthat is S, A, M, I, and I, thank
(32:19):
you for being here. Make sureyou hit subscribe so you do not
miss out on a single episode. Wehave some great stuff coming up
for you this year in 2025 and Idon't want you to miss it and
share it with a friend that youthink might be struggling with
their schedule as well. We alldo it at certain times in our
lives, and sometimes we need tohear this message. I know I'll
be coming back to this episodebecause also, as we're in
(32:40):
different phases and stages inour life and busyness, we tend
to need to hear differentthings, and so I'm excited to
have this in my back pocket tobe able to come back and listen
to so that I can glean differentthings when I need it. So again,
show notes ateasystylewithsami.com/35 and I
will see you in the next one.
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