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July 23, 2025 34 mins

I wasn’t trying to be controlling… I just genuinely believed I was the only one who actually cared. Sound familiar?

As a licensed marriage and family therapist (and someone who’s had plenty of “heated discussions” in her own marriage), I used to think every decision had to go through me. I told myself he didn’t value it as much. Didn’t think it through like I did. So I took over, because clearly, someone had to.

But here’s the thing. Power struggles don’t always look like yelling matches. Sometimes they’re quiet, buried under resentment and silent assumptions. Why was it so important that my husband be submissive when it came to things I deeply valued? Why did I feel safer in control? In this episode, I break down how we get stuck in these dynamics and how to get out, because sometimes, your partner does want the same things. You just can’t see it when you’re too busy defending your corner.

Need support? Talk to a therapist who gets it at http://outsidethenormcounseling.com .

Not ready for therapy? Start with my self-paced course, Reignite Your Marriage and Reclaim Your Identity. No husband required. Just powerful shifts that change everything.

Learn more at http://outsidethenormcounseling.com/reignite . It's time we stopped pretending everything’s fine—and started getting real. Unapologetically.

Coaching: veronicacisneros.org

Therapy: outsidethenormcounseling.org

Freebies: https://veronicacisneros.org/resources

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