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June 29, 2021 33 min

Defensiveness is a learned behavior to compensate for something going on beneath the surface. 

A few common sources of defensiveness in relationship:

  • A lack of feeling emotionally safe because they often feel invalidated
  • Taking something personally (and making it mean something different than what was said)
  • Fear of being judged, not loved, abandoned, or punished
  • An attachment to a certain perspective about themselves or the situation
  • Here’s the thing...if you and your partner perpetually react with defensiveness, you will leave conversations unresolved, build up more and more tension, and/or get to the point where you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

    So today’s podcast episode goes deeper into understanding why defensiveness shows up in your relationship PLUS how to break this pattern, so you communicate openly and constructively.


    Resources For Your Relationship:

  • Book a private Couples Session with us. The first one is discounted so you can get a sense that our style WORKS! Read testimonials, details, and schedule one here.
  • Read our newest book, The Argument Hangover. Get $200 of bonus resources, including a course and workbook. HERE

    About Us:

    We’re The Freemans, your go-to couple for authentic and actionable relationship advice. Send us your relationship questions for the show with a DM on Instagram. As you listen to the episode, tag us on an IG story and let us know what you loved.


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