October 30, 2024 • 34 mins
This week we share our plans for taking care of ourselves during election day as well as some communication advice around hard subjects. We also talk about a completely bananas book we’ve both recently read.
Mentioned on the show:
-
Wicked [Movie Tie-In]: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
-
Elphie (Deluxe Limited Edition): A Wicked Childhood by Gregory Maguire
- The eternal sunset site seems to be defunct. Sorry!
Find the full show notes and official transcript on our website: eedapod.com
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Sound editing by Jen Zink
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Music (00:00):
[Intro Music]
Patricia (00:15):
Hello, foolish mortals.
Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice, the podcast for
folks who would rather curl intothe fetal position than lean in.
I'm your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole (00:26):
And I'm your ghostess with the mostess, Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We are recording this showon October 23rd, 2024.
Patricia (00:35):
And we recently finally got to see Wicked the musical.
Nicole (00:41):
I finally got to see it.
You saw it again.
Patricia (00:46):
Again.
Well, this was maybemy fifth or sixth time.
I think this is the musical I haveseen the second most number of times.
Nicole (00:55):
And what this means, because this clearly was not the original cast, is that
now when I try listening to the originalcast recording, the voices are all wrong.
Patricia (01:07):
[Laughing]
Cause this was not thecast you got to see.
Nicole (01:11):
Yeah.
Patricia (01:11):
Yeah.
Nicole (01:11):
And I hadn't listened to the show before.
I'd heard snippets from whenyou listened to your musicals
Spotify station or whatever.
But yep, now I havedifferent voices in my head.
Patricia (01:22):
Different voices, rather than the regular voices in your head.
Nicole (01:25):
No, now they want, now they're telling me I'm going to be popular.
Patricia (01:28):
Ahh.
Nicole (01:29):
[Giggle]
Patricia (01:30):
But it was fun.
It's always so great to see, like, allthe kids dressed up for the show, and...
Nicole (01:36):
Yeah, it was really cute.
Patricia (01:37):
Yeah, you could tell, like, some of them, it might have been, like,
their first musical or something, so.
Nicole (01:42):
So to celebrate this, we also both decided to read the book.
Patricia (01:46):
Which one of my exes, many years ago, bought me the book
in like the year 2000 or something.
I think the book was published in 1995.
I never actually read it.
And I just ended up, you know,tossing it or selling it to a bookshop
or something when we broke up.
And I knew that the book wasdifferent from the musical.
Nicole (02:12):
And to be clear, this is not the original Frank L.
Baum Wizard of Oz books,this is the Wicked books.
Patricia (02:19):
Wicked, A Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of
the West by Gregory Maguire.
And, and he has, it's a part of,it's the first in a whole series.
Nicole (02:26):
It's like four books, and then I think there's like subsequently
three more after that, or something.
Patricia (02:31):
Well, and the next year is, he's publishing Elfie.
Nicole (02:35):
Oh gosh.
Patricia (02:36):
Uh, so....
Nicole (02:37):
More books in this series.
Patricia (02:39):
So, what you're going to see, if you haven't read this book, or even
if you have, you're still going to seeit, is that they have re-released the
book with the, with a movie cover, right?
The movie with Ariana Grande andCynthia Erivo, and the movie's
coming out November 22nd, I think?
So you're gonna see this andyou're going to think, oh, this
(03:01):
book is the book of the movie.
And you would be incredibly wrong.
Nicole (03:06):
Oh my gosh, this is, there are characters with the same name, and they
occasionally have similar plot points.
Patricia (03:15):
But this is a very adult book, and it is also an
absolute unhinged fever dream.
It is very explicit, it is very adult.
You know, I know that some peoplethat I've talked to, that I've told
them, I'm reading the book, they'relike, yeah, I read it when I was
(03:37):
14 and I really shouldn't have.
So, not that I'm going to tellyou what your children can and
cannot read, but just be warned,this is not a children's book.
Nicole (03:47):
If you think maybe your child is ready for this book, I would suggest
you read the first, what, 20 pages.
Patricia (03:56):
Yeah, first 20, 25 pages.
Nicole (03:58):
That will tell you all you need to know about whether
your child is ready for this book.
Patricia (04:04):
Yeah.
I mean, it starts off right away withthe transphobia and the homophobia, and
it's, it's a lot, and I cannot say I'menjoying it, but I'm reading it because
it's a bit like staring at a car crash.
It's, it's something.
Nicole (04:23):
I finished it, and so now you are giving me updates.
Patricia (04:27):
I'm giving you updates of where I am in the book.
Nicole (04:29):
And tonight you did not warn me while we were eating that
you were going to give me an updateat where you're at in the book.
You just dropped it on me.
Patricia (04:38):
Yeah.
Nicole (04:38):
Saying, hey, they met the wizard.
And I almost choked on my food.
Patricia (04:45):
Yeah, you spit out your food.
You spit out your food at the table.
And that one was on me because we knowwe should pay attention to when each
other is eating or drinking so that wedon't make a jokey joke or something.
So that one, that was on me.
Nicole (04:59):
Yeah, yeah, that one was.
Luckily the food was not on you.
Patricia (05:04):
Badum bum.
Nicole (05:06):
There you go.
Patricia (05:06):
Gross.
So, that being said, remember wehave a bookshop storefront that
I will link in the show notes.
It's also linked on ourwebsite, eedapod.com.
If you buy books through there, one,you are supporting, or rather you're not
supporting Amazon, and you're supportingus buying your books through bookshop.
(05:29):
Also, our Patreon at patreon.com/eedapod.
That is another way to show us somesupport financially, because we're
trying to do this show without ads.
Also, if you want to give us a Halloweengift, or an autumn gift, please rate
this show, write a little review.
Please share this show with someoneyou think will listen and enjoy
(05:54):
it, because I don't think it'sgetting in front of enough people.
Nicole (05:57):
It's definitely not.
Patricia (05:58):
Yeah, we have good stuff here.
Come on.
Nicole (06:00):
We have good stuff.
Yeah.
Music (06:01):
[Transition Music]
Patricia (06:09):
Well, this is our last episode before the election.
And in our previous episode, we mentionedpreparing for Election Day a little bit.
But I think it might be helpful forus to be more explicit and deliberate.
We are going to give details aboutwhat our plans are for election day to
(06:31):
hopefully inspire you to do what you needto take care of yourself on that day.
And we're also going to givesome tips about communication
in the other half of this show.
Nicole (06:41):
So if you're like me, and I'm going to presume I'm pulling Patricia
into this as well, you could spendall of election day in a endless
cycle of anxiety, just really worryingand chasing the latest updates.
(07:01):
I think it's important to keep inmind that during the daytime, at
least, the only real informationyou're going to get on how things
are going are from the exit polls.
I don't know if you're like me, butI was kind of traumatized by 2016
election and I don't really trust em.
(07:22):
You know, you can't really doanything about the news cycle as
it's happening during the daytime.
Patricia (07:30):
This is why we really recommend thinking about why you feel
you need up to the minute information.
I recognize.
I am known as the Infophile, I am thelover of information, it's my whole gig,
and I'm saying this, like, I, this issomething I have to think about too, is
(07:53):
why do I feel I need up to the minuteinformation, and is scrolling social
media truly the best way to get that?
Sometimes needing this, this desperateneed to be informed and know everything
that's going on is so that you get somesemblance of control over the situation.
(08:17):
Which we can vote, we canshow up for each other.
And constantly scrolling onlinedoes not actually really feed
a sense of control, truly.
And I know that that day I will beusing the Forest app that I talked
about maybe even in our first episodethat helps keep me blocked from going
(08:43):
on to social media for chunks of time.
I get to set the, how muchtime I want to be blocked.
So it might be like a couple hoursnot on social media, hop in there
for 10 minutes, and then anothercouple hours not on social media.
This is not a day for nuancedconversation on the internet.
Rarely is it a day for nuancedconversation on the internet,
(09:05):
but especially election day.
Nicole (09:07):
Most of us work that day.
I know we both do.
And you should really, youshould really be realistic
Patricia (09:15):
[Chuckle]
Nicole (09:16):
about your productivity expectations that day.
Think about if you are the kind ofperson who maybe will do well with
packing your schedule and having a ton ofdistractions and staying really busy to
help keep you out of that anxiety spiral?
Or do you know, like, you're justnot going to be capable of being
(09:40):
really productive that day, and ifpossible, can you zhuzh your schedule
a bit to help account for that?
Patricia (09:49):
Yeah, I have a couple meetings scheduled for that day,
but I can't imagine I'm goingto have much brain for work.
So I'm going to do my best to at leastkeep meetings on that day to a minimum
and have a task list for myself ofthings I could work on that are kind
of less kind of mentally taxing.
And also, we fully recognize thatbeing able to do this is a privilege.
(10:14):
Right?
People work different jobs.
You might work retail, you might bea doctor, you might be a teacher,
and you can't necessarily have asmuch control over your schedule as
some people in some offices can.
But I do think it's worth, whereveryou can exert some of that control,
(10:36):
if you can, block off your calendar.
If you need to, justreally think about that.
Nicole (10:41):
If you are able, and if this is something that is mentally healthy for
you, it would be a good idea to try toplan your meals for that day in advance.
You're likely to be tired and hungry ormentally exhausted or taxed or cranky in
some way, and that is not the best time totry to figure out what to eat for a meal.
(11:02):
Also, have some snacks around you enjoy.
Just prep in advance so you're notdoing everyone's least favorite chore
of planning dinner or another mealwhen you're already hungry and tired.
Patricia (11:14):
Yeah, I've already been thinking.
I'm like, oh, maybe, maybe that's aday for like slow cooker chili, right?
Nicole (11:21):
Oh, that would be so good.
I'm already looking forward to it.
Patricia (11:24):
[Laughing] Yeah.
Hey, if you can give yourself somethingto look forward to on that day, great.
But yeah, slow cooker chili.
And maybe, you know, when we go shoppingthe weekend before we'll have, we'll
find some for our favorite snacks.
Nicole (11:39):
Another thing that day that would be a really good idea is to maybe plan
a watch list so you don't end up eitherjust watching the news all all evening
or whatever but also so you don't endup being on your streaming service and
doing something that I am particularlygood at which is just flipping through
(12:01):
all the things you could watch andgoing, wow, yeah, and trying to find
the very most perfectest thing to watch,and ending up not watching anything.
Patricia (12:11):
That is, that is one of my least favorite things.
Nicole (12:15):
Oh, I don't enjoy it.
I'm just really good at it.
Patricia (12:17):
I know, and I'm the exact opposite.
I'm like, pick something, pick something.
We're watching this.
Sure.
Yeah.
Nicole (12:24):
So we've already narrowed down our watch list.
We've got three things thatwill be potentially on that day.
We've got the new season of Heartstopper.
We've got Agatha All Along, which,did we even finish episode one?
Patricia (12:37):
Uh, we got through some of it, and then we, then it was our bedtime.
Nicole (12:41):
Yeah, okay.
And of course, the new season of, newand last season of What We Do in the
Shadows should have started by then, so.
We can go hang out withour favorite vampires.
Patricia (12:55):
Oh, I love them.
Also, plan other media.
Like, what do you, what areyou doing if you're not online?
Are you gonna read a book?
Okay, what are you reading?
Are you reading something new or are youreading something that is a comfort read?
If you have to get a copy from thelibrary or something like that,
maybe have it queued up already.
(13:17):
I also recommend making yourself anelection day playlist, and think of a
theme, like is this going to be a calmingplaylist, is it songs to sing along to?
I know that a really easy path todistraction for me is to listen to albums
I haven't listened to in over a decade.
(13:38):
Like, the nostalgia just takes overmy body and stops me from spiraling.
So, I was thinking of working on acouple playlists for that day, but
then I realized I still have all ofmy CD binders, so maybe we can flip
through those on election day and,uh, see what's, uh, what's hanging
(14:02):
out in the binders from the 90s?
Nicole (14:04):
Yeah, I mean, our new speakers have an aux cable,
so if we can find the Discman
Patricia (14:09):
Oh my gosh.
Nicole (14:10):
And some batteries
Patricia (14:11):
We'll listen to some CDs.
Nicole (14:13):
We can actually listen to CDs.
Patricia (14:15):
Amazing.
Nicole (14:16):
Another thing to do if you can is exercise.
Move.
Get in your body and out of yourhead through moving your body, even
if it's just like stretching orgoing for a walk around the block.
Getting outside is good ifit's accessible to you, but...
Patricia (14:36):
I also count, you know, dancing is exercise.
So, that's another way.
To be in your body.
Nicole (14:44):
Are we gonna have a dance battle?
Patricia (14:45):
I don't think we're gonna have a battle.
Nicole (14:48):
We're gonna have a dance off?
Patricia (14:49):
Why does it have to be a competition?
Nicole (14:52):
It doesn't have to be a competition competition.
Both (14:54):
[Laughing]
Patricia (14:57):
I also want to shout out Therapy for Black Girls.
They will have a virtual communityspace, I think from noon to four
eastern time, and it is for a fee.
You know, I'm not a therapist, wewill not have the spell slots to hold
space for anyone but each other onthat day, but there are other groups
(15:18):
out there that are holding virtual ormaybe even in person community spaces,
so I recommend you research ahead oftime to see what is available, so even
that day, even if you don't go, youat least know there is somewhere you
can show up, even if it's virtually.
Also, talking about holding space, planon reaching out to like minded loved ones.
(15:44):
You may not be able to do the emotionallabor of being like, hey, how are you?
But you can still reach out and belike, hey, thinking about you today.
Hope you're managing or whatever.
Nicole (15:58):
Let's talk a little bit more about that reaching out both on election day
and after, no matter which way it goes.
You may be having big feelings that day,but it's also important to be mindful
of where other people may be as well.
Patricia (16:17):
If this is not your first time listening to the show, then you know we
are really big on communication skills.
Most people aren't formally taughthow to communicate, so we try to
share tips whenever they are relevant.
This communication advice we'regoing to give now centers around
asking permission to share hardthings, big feelings, or bad news.
Nicole (16:38):
And this, like I said, could be for election time, or more in general,
but like, I even asked permissionof Patricia to talk to you about
anything, like, first thing in themorning, right after you've woken up.
Patricia (16:52):
Yeah, I, I am not a quick waker upper.
Nicole (16:55):
And I'm usually up an hour if not hours before you, so I've had a whole
morning frequently before you're up, andI'm very excited that you're finally up.
But I try to respect that and saylike, hey, can I talk to you now?
Patricia (17:09):
Yeah, and I also recognize, especially if we're both working
from home, right when we get off workand we close the computers, we don't
just dive into all the conversations.
Like, I would like to talk toyou after a few minutes or,
Nicole (17:27):
yeah
Patricia (17:27):
or just asking like, hey, can, like, can I share something
with you that happened at work today?
Nicole (17:33):
Yeah.
Patricia (17:34):
I recommend checking in before sharing the news.
It could be, as I mentioned, like a,hey, can I tell you some bad news?
Or are you in a place where I canshare some tough news with you?
Or even just a, can Itell you something hard?
This only works if the personon the receiving end has the
(17:55):
ability to express a boundary bysaying, no, I'm working right now.
Is it urgent?
Or they might say, hey,I'm out on an errand.
Now isn't a good time.
If it's not urgent, I'llget back to you when I can.
Or they could just saylike, yeah, go ahead.
I'm, I'm open.
Nicole (18:10):
This is where it's on each of us, at the very outset, to really recognize
that, like, our friends, roommates,spouses, partners, children, coworkers,
none of these people are our therapists.
Patricia (18:28):
And that's not to say that we don't share hard things with our loved
ones, but really recognizing when youmight want to share these things with a
professional who knows how to hold space.
Nicole (18:41):
Yeah, and also just, again, this is where this whole asking
for permission thing comes in.
Patricia (18:47):
Right.
So...
So Stephen Sondheim's workis deeply important to me.
And when he died a few years ago, afriend just texted that info to me.
Just like, uh, hey, did youhear Stephen Sondheim died?
I happened to be at the grocery store, andI burst into tears at the butcher counter,
(19:11):
which in retrospect, very appropriate.
But
Nicole (19:14):
[Laugh]
Patricia (19:15):
a heads up would have been really kind in that moment.
Nicole (19:20):
Yeah.
And this doesn't have tojust be around like big news.
It can also be related to, you know,this thing a lot of people are trying
to do with staying very aware of currentevents and sharing just things that
are happening that may particularlyimpact certain groups of people.
(19:43):
Like, I would really appreciate itif someone gave me a heads up before
they just sent me a text message orsomething else or just shared with
me the latest post on, I don't know,Bluesky or something, of some horrible
transphobic thing that's happening.
Patricia (20:00):
Right, right.
Like, I, sometimes I'm like, hey, acreator who's work we enjoy typically
has said something really transphobic.
Do you want me to shareit with you right now?
Just checking in.
Nicole (20:15):
Yeah.
I think this was also somethingwe really learned in the wake
of, like, the George Floyd era.
Patricia (20:22):
Yeah.
Cause this also goes for sharingabout another police shooting
or more other racist behavior.
Police violence.
And I know people are just going to sharewhatever they share on the internet.
And it's important to think about whyyou're reposting this violence, right?
(20:45):
And, and sometimes this is becausewith the genocide in Gaza, the
Palestinian people are asking us tokeep posting about this and don't
let people sweep it under the rug.
And at the same time, there areother things that happen again with
George Floyd, with many of the otherBlack people who have been murdered
(21:09):
by police, that sometimes people whoaren't Black are sharing it, saying
like, oh, look at this horrible thing.
I'm not this.
Look at me.
I think this is horrible too.
And what you're actually doing, likeyour Black friends or followers see this.
And sometimes I just wantto be on Instagram and look
(21:32):
at cookie decorating videos.
Nicole (21:35):
You don't, you don't want to be on the receiving end of spreading awareness.
Patricia (21:41):
I'm aware.
And, and that's what we were talking aboutwhen we were talking about this script
too, is whatever big transphobic newsis happening, I'm sure you already know.
Nicole (21:52):
I knew yesterday.
Patricia (21:54):
Yeah, exactly.
So, like, I don't needto forward it to you.
Nicole (21:58):
Yeah.
Patricia (21:59):
I might want to check in or something like that, but
Nicole (22:03):
Yeah.
Patricia (22:03):
But, again, it's, it's the asking for permission
before sharing these things.
Nicole (22:10):
The thing is, like, these kinds of things we're talking about,
like, that are in the news, it isalmost never urgent to surprise your
friends with, especially your friendsthat are marginalized communities that
may be overly impacted by that news.
Patricia (22:27):
Yeah, yeah.
No surprise, hate crime.
Like...
Nicole (22:31):
Oh, god.
Patricia (22:31):
Right?
Like, the, ugh, like, things like,natural disasters, like yeah, timely,
important, checking on people, let peopleknow, let people know where they can get
help, but a lot of these other things, Idon't need up to the minute information.
Nicole (22:48):
No, there's a reason I got off Twitter.
Patricia (22:50):
Yeah, I hear that.
Sometimes, though, the, the hardthings you need to share are
personal, and they require someemotional labor from your loved ones.
A way to respect people's energyand boundaries is to ask before
bringing your woes to them.
As I mentioned earlier, a simple like,work or school or life is really rough
(23:13):
right now, can I tell you about it?
Or something crappy but not urgenthas happened, do you have the spell
slots for me to share it with you?
Nicole (23:23):
This does mean, though, people need to get comfortable both saying and
hearing as a response no, not right now.
Or, I'm at work, maybe later.
Or, I, I don't have thespell slots right now.
Patricia (23:39):
Being able to ask permission, hear a boundary, draw a boundary, can
help keep a relationship on an even level.
When these things aren't inplace, it can breed resentment.
Most people don't like whenyou trauma dump on them.
(24:00):
One of my friends and I even give aheads up on our snail mail sometimes.
We just write a little note on theoutside of the envelope that says, big
feelings inside, so that if I happento walk outside and grab the mail and
it's obviously, during the day, and I'mbetween meetings, I could see if this is
(24:20):
a letter that I want to open right thenand there, or if it's one I want to wait
until I have a little more time later.
Nicole (24:28):
Asking for permission around tough subjects is also a way for you
to get your needs met, in that you'remaking sure that your loved ones can be
fully present when you share the thing.
Patricia (24:41):
Yeah.
Sharing a hard thing, and someone's notpaying attention, that could exacerbate.
Nicole (24:48):
And I think this is, you know, to bring this back around, like, If
the day after Election Day, you're nothaving a good day, and you want to talk
about it, ask for permission first.
Patricia (25:00):
Of who you're talking to, yeah.
Both (25:03):
Yeah.
Nicole (25:03):
Don't just dump all your election feelings on the people
around you, or even your coworkers.
Patricia (25:11):
I mean, that's what Twitter is for.
That's what
Nicole (25:14):
oh no
Patricia (25:15):
Bluesky is for.
Write it in a journal.
You could post it in your, I don'tknow, post it in your Instagram stories.
Nicole (25:22):
Or, you know, if you have like minded friends, ask them.
Patricia (25:26):
Yeah
Nicole (25:26):
Hey, I'm really bummed about this.
Do you want to talk about it with me?
But be ready to accept if they say,no, I'm not ready to talk about it yet.
Alright, Patricia, we kindof ran through a bit there.
What is it you really want peopleto take away from this episode?
Patricia (25:46):
I would really want people to be inspired to have a
bit of a plan for Election Day,especially if you are here in the U.
S.
I know I have friends abroad, I don'tknow how they are feeling about things
affecting them in their day to day.
But just kind of have a plan, becauseeven if at the last minute you're like,
(26:07):
you know what, I'm turning off my phone,I'm not looking at the internet, still
have an idea of what you're doing instead.
Nicole (26:13):
Ooh, what you're doing instead.
Patricia (26:15):
Nicole, what is your takeaway?
Nicole (26:17):
I really want people to, to walk away from this with the understanding
that it's really important to askpermission before talking about or
sharing the hard things with someone.
And make sure you respect theirboundaries if they say no, they don't
want to talk about that with you.
Music (26:34):
[Transitional Music]
Nicole (26:42):
Do we have time for a resource?
Patricia (26:44):
We actually have time for a resource today.
Nicole (26:46):
Ooh, what do you got?
Patricia (26:48):
I don't know how much of a resource it is.
It's just a neat thingI found on the internet.
It's called, or actually thewebsite is tree.fm, T R E E dot F
M, and people all over the worldcan upload sounds of forests.
(27:09):
And sometimes it's like a three minuteclip, sometimes it's an eight minute clip.
And it will tell you where it is.
And it's just forest soundsthat people have uploaded.
So you can go and it'slike a, a random generator.
So you go in and I was listening to aforest in France somewhere for a few
(27:30):
minutes, and then a forest in Germany.
What I really enjoyed about it
Nicole (27:36):
was their accents?
Patricia (27:37):
I don't think the birds have accents.
Nicole (27:40):
Are you sure?
Patricia (27:41):
Okay, so, no, I'm not sure.
Because I did, like, I was listening.
I was like, oh, these birds, I havenot heard these bird calls, so...
Nicole (27:50):
These birds sound French.
Patricia (27:51):
These birds sound French.
But, it's tree.fm.
It's a fun little thing that is alsosomething I turn to when I just, like,
need, need a little something soothing.
Nicole (28:04):
I'm gonna have to try that out.
Patricia (28:06):
There's also, I have a note here.
So there was a website, I tried tocheck it out yesterday, but I don't know
if I checked it out at a weird time.
It's the Eternal Sunset website.
It's at sunset.funwebsite.fun, andit kind of streams in public webcams
(28:30):
from wherever the sun is setting.
Nicole (28:32):
Oh.
Patricia (28:33):
Except, of course, in, there are two kind of long strips of the world where
it's just like, yeah, there's no camerashere, which is over a lot of the Pacific.
Nicole (28:46):
Mm hmm.
Patricia (28:47):
So sometimes you log in and it's just black, it's
like, no, there's nothing.
And then I think there's anotherpart of the world where, like, uh,
the countries aren't necessarilyinternet friendly, and so it's just,
it'll just appear black at that time.
But if you catch it at the righttime, you could just, like, hop around
(29:09):
the world and follow the sunset.
So, I hope it works.
I'm gonna link it.
I'm gonna try to look at a different time,because I really think I looked at a time
when it was like, no, it's sunset overthe Pacific somewhere, um, and not Hawaii.
So, I'll link it in the show notes.
Nicole (29:27):
Okay, Patricia.
Patricia (29:28):
Yes, Nicole?
Nicole (29:29):
What is filling your cup this week?
Patricia (29:35):
I have two things.
Nicole (29:36):
What?
Patricia (29:37):
One.
Nicole (29:38):
You have two cups?
Patricia (29:39):
I have two cups.
Nicole (29:40):
Or is your, is, is your cup flowing?
Patricia (29:43):
I can't say it's flowing right now, but I do have a couple
things that have filled it a bit.
One is that one of my best friendsfrom college came up from Southern
California to visit us and broughtone of her kiddos and we went and
had a picnic out at a regional park.
(30:04):
And it was really great.
Like I haven't seen her sincebefore the pandemic and like, this
is a kid we haven't met before.
Nicole (30:12):
Yeah.
Patricia (30:13):
So that was really wonderful.
And also it feels silly to saythis, but I'm, I'm so excited.
So one of my friends boughtthe rice cooker of my dreams.
And then, when it was on sale,and I happened to miss the sale.
(30:33):
But then he bought another rice cooker,which was the one he wanted more.
So he sold me the first one hebought, which was the one I wanted.
He just sold it to me at the saleprice instead of returning it.
So now we have a ZojirushiNeuro Fuzzy Rice Cooker that
I cannot wait to give a go.
Nicole (30:56):
I'm honestly really surprised that it's still in the box and it hasn't been,
like, opened up and snuggled on the couch.
Patricia (31:02):
I've thought of it, but we've been too busy.
Both (31:04):
[giggling]
Patricia (31:06):
Nicole, what's filling your cup right now?
Nicole (31:09):
So, I really enjoyed the picnic we had with your friend from college,
but we were at this regional park duringsunset time, and as the sun was really
going down, we wandered over to the kidsplay area so the kiddo they brought with
them could slide on the slide, climbon the climbing structure, whatever.
(31:32):
And it had, it was positioned so thatit was within, like, surrounded on
three sides by very tall trees, and thefourth side was open and faced the sky.
And what this meant was that therewere bats flying between the trees, and
they were flying in a way where, if westood in amongst the play structures
(31:54):
and look toward the sky, they werereally easy to see against the blue sky.
And so there were just these wild littleflappy bats flapping all over the place,
and they were so cute and so fun to watch.
And I know we were supposed to bepaying attention to friends and
little kid, but I was just watchingthe bats, and I really enjoyed it.
Patricia (32:13):
I know you were, baby.
It was great.
I, so, as you know, I love bats.
My first tattoo is actually a bat.
And I love how chaotically they fly.
Uh,
Nicole (32:28):
They are not graceful flyers.
Patricia (32:29):
They are not graceful flyers and I love, like you watch
a bat fly and you're like, howare you even still in the air?
Just, I don't know.
I love them.
Well, that's our show for today.
We'd like to thank our awesomeaudio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.com,and we'll leave a link to
that in our show notes.
Nicole (32:48):
You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com.
That's E E D A P O D dot com.
There, you can also find a link to ourPatreon, our bookshop link, and a link
to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can also find us on Instagramand Bluesky at eedapod, and
(33:09):
email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia (33:12):
We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole (33:14):
We would also appreciate it so much if you would subscribe and rate us
on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whereveryou get your podcasts that allow ratings.
It actually does help a lot inhelping other people find us.
Patricia (33:29):
We would also appreciate anyone who could subscribe to us on Patreon.
Support there is going to help us keepthis show going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
In the meantime, we hope youfind ways to be kind to yourself.
Drink some water and read a book.
We'll be talking to you soon.
Nicole (33:51):
I guess we should go make some rice.
Patricia (33:52):
Yeah.
Rice!
Nicole (33:55):
Rice rice baby.
Patricia: [Mimicking the beat from Vanilla Ice's song Ice Ice Baby] (33:56):
undefined
[Intro Music]
Patricia (00:15):
Hello, foolish mortals.
Welcome to Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice, the podcast for
folks who would rather curl intothe fetal position than lean in.
I'm your host, Patricia Elzie-Tuttle.
Nicole (00:26):
And I'm your ghostess with the mostess, Nicole Elzie-Tuttle.
We are recording this showon October 23rd, 2024.
Patricia (00:35):
And we recently finally got to see Wicked the musical.
Nicole (00:41):
I finally got to see it.
You saw it again.
Patricia (00:46):
Again.
Well, this was maybemy fifth or sixth time.
I think this is the musical I haveseen the second most number of times.
Nicole (00:55):
And what this means, because this clearly was not the original cast, is that
now when I try listening to the originalcast recording, the voices are all wrong.
Patricia (01:07):
[Laughing]
Cause this was not thecast you got to see.
Nicole (01:11):
Yeah.
Patricia (01:11):
Yeah.
Nicole (01:11):
And I hadn't listened to the show before.
I'd heard snippets from whenyou listened to your musicals
Spotify station or whatever.
But yep, now I havedifferent voices in my head.
Patricia (01:22):
Different voices, rather than the regular voices in your head.
Nicole (01:25):
No, now they want, now they're telling me I'm going to be popular.
Patricia (01:28):
Ahh.
Nicole (01:29):
[Giggle]
Patricia (01:30):
But it was fun.
It's always so great to see, like, allthe kids dressed up for the show, and...
Nicole (01:36):
Yeah, it was really cute.
Patricia (01:37):
Yeah, you could tell, like, some of them, it might have been, like,
their first musical or something, so.
Nicole (01:42):
So to celebrate this, we also both decided to read the book.
Patricia (01:46):
Which one of my exes, many years ago, bought me the book
in like the year 2000 or something.
I think the book was published in 1995.
I never actually read it.
And I just ended up, you know,tossing it or selling it to a bookshop
or something when we broke up.
And I knew that the book wasdifferent from the musical.
Nicole (02:12):
And to be clear, this is not the original Frank L.
Baum Wizard of Oz books,this is the Wicked books.
Patricia (02:19):
Wicked, A Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of
the West by Gregory Maguire.
And, and he has, it's a part of,it's the first in a whole series.
Nicole (02:26):
It's like four books, and then I think there's like subsequently
three more after that, or something.
Patricia (02:31):
Well, and the next year is, he's publishing Elfie.
Nicole (02:35):
Oh gosh.
Patricia (02:36):
Uh, so....
Nicole (02:37):
More books in this series.
Patricia (02:39):
So, what you're going to see, if you haven't read this book, or even
if you have, you're still going to seeit, is that they have re-released the
book with the, with a movie cover, right?
The movie with Ariana Grande andCynthia Erivo, and the movie's
coming out November 22nd, I think?
So you're gonna see this andyou're going to think, oh, this
(03:01):
book is the book of the movie.
And you would be incredibly wrong.
Nicole (03:06):
Oh my gosh, this is, there are characters with the same name, and they
occasionally have similar plot points.
Patricia (03:15):
But this is a very adult book, and it is also an
absolute unhinged fever dream.
It is very explicit, it is very adult.
You know, I know that some peoplethat I've talked to, that I've told
them, I'm reading the book, they'relike, yeah, I read it when I was
(03:37):
14 and I really shouldn't have.
So, not that I'm going to tellyou what your children can and
cannot read, but just be warned,this is not a children's book.
Nicole (03:47):
If you think maybe your child is ready for this book, I would suggest
you read the first, what, 20 pages.
Patricia (03:56):
Yeah, first 20, 25 pages.
Nicole (03:58):
That will tell you all you need to know about whether
your child is ready for this book.
Patricia (04:04):
Yeah.
I mean, it starts off right away withthe transphobia and the homophobia, and
it's, it's a lot, and I cannot say I'menjoying it, but I'm reading it because
it's a bit like staring at a car crash.
It's, it's something.
Nicole (04:23):
I finished it, and so now you are giving me updates.
Patricia (04:27):
I'm giving you updates of where I am in the book.
Nicole (04:29):
And tonight you did not warn me while we were eating that
you were going to give me an updateat where you're at in the book.
You just dropped it on me.
Patricia (04:38):
Yeah.
Nicole (04:38):
Saying, hey, they met the wizard.
And I almost choked on my food.
Patricia (04:45):
Yeah, you spit out your food.
You spit out your food at the table.
And that one was on me because we knowwe should pay attention to when each
other is eating or drinking so that wedon't make a jokey joke or something.
So that one, that was on me.
Nicole (04:59):
Yeah, yeah, that one was.
Luckily the food was not on you.
Patricia (05:04):
Badum bum.
Nicole (05:06):
There you go.
Patricia (05:06):
Gross.
So, that being said, remember wehave a bookshop storefront that
I will link in the show notes.
It's also linked on ourwebsite, eedapod.com.
If you buy books through there, one,you are supporting, or rather you're not
supporting Amazon, and you're supportingus buying your books through bookshop.
(05:29):
Also, our Patreon at patreon.com/eedapod.
That is another way to show us somesupport financially, because we're
trying to do this show without ads.
Also, if you want to give us a Halloweengift, or an autumn gift, please rate
this show, write a little review.
Please share this show with someoneyou think will listen and enjoy
(05:54):
it, because I don't think it'sgetting in front of enough people.
Nicole (05:57):
It's definitely not.
Patricia (05:58):
Yeah, we have good stuff here.
Come on.
Nicole (06:00):
We have good stuff.
Yeah.
Music (06:01):
[Transition Music]
Patricia (06:09):
Well, this is our last episode before the election.
And in our previous episode, we mentionedpreparing for Election Day a little bit.
But I think it might be helpful forus to be more explicit and deliberate.
We are going to give details aboutwhat our plans are for election day to
(06:31):
hopefully inspire you to do what you needto take care of yourself on that day.
And we're also going to givesome tips about communication
in the other half of this show.
Nicole (06:41):
So if you're like me, and I'm going to presume I'm pulling Patricia
into this as well, you could spendall of election day in a endless
cycle of anxiety, just really worryingand chasing the latest updates.
(07:01):
I think it's important to keep inmind that during the daytime, at
least, the only real informationyou're going to get on how things
are going are from the exit polls.
I don't know if you're like me, butI was kind of traumatized by 2016
election and I don't really trust em.
(07:22):
You know, you can't really doanything about the news cycle as
it's happening during the daytime.
Patricia (07:30):
This is why we really recommend thinking about why you feel
you need up to the minute information.
I recognize.
I am known as the Infophile, I am thelover of information, it's my whole gig,
and I'm saying this, like, I, this issomething I have to think about too, is
(07:53):
why do I feel I need up to the minuteinformation, and is scrolling social
media truly the best way to get that?
Sometimes needing this, this desperateneed to be informed and know everything
that's going on is so that you get somesemblance of control over the situation.
(08:17):
Which we can vote, we canshow up for each other.
And constantly scrolling onlinedoes not actually really feed
a sense of control, truly.
And I know that that day I will beusing the Forest app that I talked
about maybe even in our first episodethat helps keep me blocked from going
(08:43):
on to social media for chunks of time.
I get to set the, how muchtime I want to be blocked.
So it might be like a couple hoursnot on social media, hop in there
for 10 minutes, and then anothercouple hours not on social media.
This is not a day for nuancedconversation on the internet.
Rarely is it a day for nuancedconversation on the internet,
(09:05):
but especially election day.
Nicole (09:07):
Most of us work that day.
I know we both do.
And you should really, youshould really be realistic
Patricia (09:15):
[Chuckle]
Nicole (09:16):
about your productivity expectations that day.
Think about if you are the kind ofperson who maybe will do well with
packing your schedule and having a ton ofdistractions and staying really busy to
help keep you out of that anxiety spiral?
Or do you know, like, you're justnot going to be capable of being
(09:40):
really productive that day, and ifpossible, can you zhuzh your schedule
a bit to help account for that?
Patricia (09:49):
Yeah, I have a couple meetings scheduled for that day,
but I can't imagine I'm goingto have much brain for work.
So I'm going to do my best to at leastkeep meetings on that day to a minimum
and have a task list for myself ofthings I could work on that are kind
of less kind of mentally taxing.
And also, we fully recognize thatbeing able to do this is a privilege.
(10:14):
Right?
People work different jobs.
You might work retail, you might bea doctor, you might be a teacher,
and you can't necessarily have asmuch control over your schedule as
some people in some offices can.
But I do think it's worth, whereveryou can exert some of that control,
(10:36):
if you can, block off your calendar.
If you need to, justreally think about that.
Nicole (10:41):
If you are able, and if this is something that is mentally healthy for
you, it would be a good idea to try toplan your meals for that day in advance.
You're likely to be tired and hungry ormentally exhausted or taxed or cranky in
some way, and that is not the best time totry to figure out what to eat for a meal.
(11:02):
Also, have some snacks around you enjoy.
Just prep in advance so you're notdoing everyone's least favorite chore
of planning dinner or another mealwhen you're already hungry and tired.
Patricia (11:14):
Yeah, I've already been thinking.
I'm like, oh, maybe, maybe that's aday for like slow cooker chili, right?
Nicole (11:21):
Oh, that would be so good.
I'm already looking forward to it.
Patricia (11:24):
[Laughing] Yeah.
Hey, if you can give yourself somethingto look forward to on that day, great.
But yeah, slow cooker chili.
And maybe, you know, when we go shoppingthe weekend before we'll have, we'll
find some for our favorite snacks.
Nicole (11:39):
Another thing that day that would be a really good idea is to maybe plan
a watch list so you don't end up eitherjust watching the news all all evening
or whatever but also so you don't endup being on your streaming service and
doing something that I am particularlygood at which is just flipping through
(12:01):
all the things you could watch andgoing, wow, yeah, and trying to find
the very most perfectest thing to watch,and ending up not watching anything.
Patricia (12:11):
That is, that is one of my least favorite things.
Nicole (12:15):
Oh, I don't enjoy it.
I'm just really good at it.
Patricia (12:17):
I know, and I'm the exact opposite.
I'm like, pick something, pick something.
We're watching this.
Sure.
Yeah.
Nicole (12:24):
So we've already narrowed down our watch list.
We've got three things thatwill be potentially on that day.
We've got the new season of Heartstopper.
We've got Agatha All Along, which,did we even finish episode one?
Patricia (12:37):
Uh, we got through some of it, and then we, then it was our bedtime.
Nicole (12:41):
Yeah, okay.
And of course, the new season of, newand last season of What We Do in the
Shadows should have started by then, so.
We can go hang out withour favorite vampires.
Patricia (12:55):
Oh, I love them.
Also, plan other media.
Like, what do you, what areyou doing if you're not online?
Are you gonna read a book?
Okay, what are you reading?
Are you reading something new or are youreading something that is a comfort read?
If you have to get a copy from thelibrary or something like that,
maybe have it queued up already.
(13:17):
I also recommend making yourself anelection day playlist, and think of a
theme, like is this going to be a calmingplaylist, is it songs to sing along to?
I know that a really easy path todistraction for me is to listen to albums
I haven't listened to in over a decade.
(13:38):
Like, the nostalgia just takes overmy body and stops me from spiraling.
So, I was thinking of working on acouple playlists for that day, but
then I realized I still have all ofmy CD binders, so maybe we can flip
through those on election day and,uh, see what's, uh, what's hanging
(14:02):
out in the binders from the 90s?
Nicole (14:04):
Yeah, I mean, our new speakers have an aux cable,
so if we can find the Discman
Patricia (14:09):
Oh my gosh.
Nicole (14:10):
And some batteries
Patricia (14:11):
We'll listen to some CDs.
Nicole (14:13):
We can actually listen to CDs.
Patricia (14:15):
Amazing.
Nicole (14:16):
Another thing to do if you can is exercise.
Move.
Get in your body and out of yourhead through moving your body, even
if it's just like stretching orgoing for a walk around the block.
Getting outside is good ifit's accessible to you, but...
Patricia (14:36):
I also count, you know, dancing is exercise.
So, that's another way.
To be in your body.
Nicole (14:44):
Are we gonna have a dance battle?
Patricia (14:45):
I don't think we're gonna have a battle.
Nicole (14:48):
We're gonna have a dance off?
Patricia (14:49):
Why does it have to be a competition?
Nicole (14:52):
It doesn't have to be a competition competition.
Both (14:54):
[Laughing]
Patricia (14:57):
I also want to shout out Therapy for Black Girls.
They will have a virtual communityspace, I think from noon to four
eastern time, and it is for a fee.
You know, I'm not a therapist, wewill not have the spell slots to hold
space for anyone but each other onthat day, but there are other groups
(15:18):
out there that are holding virtual ormaybe even in person community spaces,
so I recommend you research ahead oftime to see what is available, so even
that day, even if you don't go, youat least know there is somewhere you
can show up, even if it's virtually.
Also, talking about holding space, planon reaching out to like minded loved ones.
(15:44):
You may not be able to do the emotionallabor of being like, hey, how are you?
But you can still reach out and belike, hey, thinking about you today.
Hope you're managing or whatever.
Nicole (15:58):
Let's talk a little bit more about that reaching out both on election day
and after, no matter which way it goes.
You may be having big feelings that day,but it's also important to be mindful
of where other people may be as well.
Patricia (16:17):
If this is not your first time listening to the show, then you know we
are really big on communication skills.
Most people aren't formally taughthow to communicate, so we try to
share tips whenever they are relevant.
This communication advice we'regoing to give now centers around
asking permission to share hardthings, big feelings, or bad news.
Nicole (16:38):
And this, like I said, could be for election time, or more in general,
but like, I even asked permissionof Patricia to talk to you about
anything, like, first thing in themorning, right after you've woken up.
Patricia (16:52):
Yeah, I, I am not a quick waker upper.
Nicole (16:55):
And I'm usually up an hour if not hours before you, so I've had a whole
morning frequently before you're up, andI'm very excited that you're finally up.
But I try to respect that and saylike, hey, can I talk to you now?
Patricia (17:09):
Yeah, and I also recognize, especially if we're both working
from home, right when we get off workand we close the computers, we don't
just dive into all the conversations.
Like, I would like to talk toyou after a few minutes or,
Nicole (17:27):
yeah
Patricia (17:27):
or just asking like, hey, can, like, can I share something
with you that happened at work today?
Nicole (17:33):
Yeah.
Patricia (17:34):
I recommend checking in before sharing the news.
It could be, as I mentioned, like a,hey, can I tell you some bad news?
Or are you in a place where I canshare some tough news with you?
Or even just a, can Itell you something hard?
This only works if the personon the receiving end has the
(17:55):
ability to express a boundary bysaying, no, I'm working right now.
Is it urgent?
Or they might say, hey,I'm out on an errand.
Now isn't a good time.
If it's not urgent, I'llget back to you when I can.
Or they could just saylike, yeah, go ahead.
I'm, I'm open.
Nicole (18:10):
This is where it's on each of us, at the very outset, to really recognize
that, like, our friends, roommates,spouses, partners, children, coworkers,
none of these people are our therapists.
Patricia (18:28):
And that's not to say that we don't share hard things with our loved
ones, but really recognizing when youmight want to share these things with a
professional who knows how to hold space.
Nicole (18:41):
Yeah, and also just, again, this is where this whole asking
for permission thing comes in.
Patricia (18:47):
Right.
So...
So Stephen Sondheim's workis deeply important to me.
And when he died a few years ago, afriend just texted that info to me.
Just like, uh, hey, did youhear Stephen Sondheim died?
I happened to be at the grocery store, andI burst into tears at the butcher counter,
(19:11):
which in retrospect, very appropriate.
But
Nicole (19:14):
[Laugh]
Patricia (19:15):
a heads up would have been really kind in that moment.
Nicole (19:20):
Yeah.
And this doesn't have tojust be around like big news.
It can also be related to, you know,this thing a lot of people are trying
to do with staying very aware of currentevents and sharing just things that
are happening that may particularlyimpact certain groups of people.
(19:43):
Like, I would really appreciate itif someone gave me a heads up before
they just sent me a text message orsomething else or just shared with
me the latest post on, I don't know,Bluesky or something, of some horrible
transphobic thing that's happening.
Patricia (20:00):
Right, right.
Like, I, sometimes I'm like, hey, acreator who's work we enjoy typically
has said something really transphobic.
Do you want me to shareit with you right now?
Just checking in.
Nicole (20:15):
Yeah.
I think this was also somethingwe really learned in the wake
of, like, the George Floyd era.
Patricia (20:22):
Yeah.
Cause this also goes for sharingabout another police shooting
or more other racist behavior.
Police violence.
And I know people are just going to sharewhatever they share on the internet.
And it's important to think about whyyou're reposting this violence, right?
(20:45):
And, and sometimes this is becausewith the genocide in Gaza, the
Palestinian people are asking us tokeep posting about this and don't
let people sweep it under the rug.
And at the same time, there areother things that happen again with
George Floyd, with many of the otherBlack people who have been murdered
(21:09):
by police, that sometimes people whoaren't Black are sharing it, saying
like, oh, look at this horrible thing.
I'm not this.
Look at me.
I think this is horrible too.
And what you're actually doing, likeyour Black friends or followers see this.
And sometimes I just wantto be on Instagram and look
(21:32):
at cookie decorating videos.
Nicole (21:35):
You don't, you don't want to be on the receiving end of spreading awareness.
Patricia (21:41):
I'm aware.
And, and that's what we were talking aboutwhen we were talking about this script
too, is whatever big transphobic newsis happening, I'm sure you already know.
Nicole (21:52):
I knew yesterday.
Patricia (21:54):
Yeah, exactly.
So, like, I don't needto forward it to you.
Nicole (21:58):
Yeah.
Patricia (21:59):
I might want to check in or something like that, but
Nicole (22:03):
Yeah.
Patricia (22:03):
But, again, it's, it's the asking for permission
before sharing these things.
Nicole (22:10):
The thing is, like, these kinds of things we're talking about,
like, that are in the news, it isalmost never urgent to surprise your
friends with, especially your friendsthat are marginalized communities that
may be overly impacted by that news.
Patricia (22:27):
Yeah, yeah.
No surprise, hate crime.
Like...
Nicole (22:31):
Oh, god.
Patricia (22:31):
Right?
Like, the, ugh, like, things like,natural disasters, like yeah, timely,
important, checking on people, let peopleknow, let people know where they can get
help, but a lot of these other things, Idon't need up to the minute information.
Nicole (22:48):
No, there's a reason I got off Twitter.
Patricia (22:50):
Yeah, I hear that.
Sometimes, though, the, the hardthings you need to share are
personal, and they require someemotional labor from your loved ones.
A way to respect people's energyand boundaries is to ask before
bringing your woes to them.
As I mentioned earlier, a simple like,work or school or life is really rough
(23:13):
right now, can I tell you about it?
Or something crappy but not urgenthas happened, do you have the spell
slots for me to share it with you?
Nicole (23:23):
This does mean, though, people need to get comfortable both saying and
hearing as a response no, not right now.
Or, I'm at work, maybe later.
Or, I, I don't have thespell slots right now.
Patricia (23:39):
Being able to ask permission, hear a boundary, draw a boundary, can
help keep a relationship on an even level.
When these things aren't inplace, it can breed resentment.
Most people don't like whenyou trauma dump on them.
(24:00):
One of my friends and I even give aheads up on our snail mail sometimes.
We just write a little note on theoutside of the envelope that says, big
feelings inside, so that if I happento walk outside and grab the mail and
it's obviously, during the day, and I'mbetween meetings, I could see if this is
(24:20):
a letter that I want to open right thenand there, or if it's one I want to wait
until I have a little more time later.
Nicole (24:28):
Asking for permission around tough subjects is also a way for you
to get your needs met, in that you'remaking sure that your loved ones can be
fully present when you share the thing.
Patricia (24:41):
Yeah.
Sharing a hard thing, and someone's notpaying attention, that could exacerbate.
Nicole (24:48):
And I think this is, you know, to bring this back around, like, If
the day after Election Day, you're nothaving a good day, and you want to talk
about it, ask for permission first.
Patricia (25:00):
Of who you're talking to, yeah.
Both (25:03):
Yeah.
Nicole (25:03):
Don't just dump all your election feelings on the people
around you, or even your coworkers.
Patricia (25:11):
I mean, that's what Twitter is for.
That's what
Nicole (25:14):
oh no
Patricia (25:15):
Bluesky is for.
Write it in a journal.
You could post it in your, I don'tknow, post it in your Instagram stories.
Nicole (25:22):
Or, you know, if you have like minded friends, ask them.
Patricia (25:26):
Yeah
Nicole (25:26):
Hey, I'm really bummed about this.
Do you want to talk about it with me?
But be ready to accept if they say,no, I'm not ready to talk about it yet.
Alright, Patricia, we kindof ran through a bit there.
What is it you really want peopleto take away from this episode?
Patricia (25:46):
I would really want people to be inspired to have a
bit of a plan for Election Day,especially if you are here in the U.
S.
I know I have friends abroad, I don'tknow how they are feeling about things
affecting them in their day to day.
But just kind of have a plan, becauseeven if at the last minute you're like,
(26:07):
you know what, I'm turning off my phone,I'm not looking at the internet, still
have an idea of what you're doing instead.
Nicole (26:13):
Ooh, what you're doing instead.
Patricia (26:15):
Nicole, what is your takeaway?
Nicole (26:17):
I really want people to, to walk away from this with the understanding
that it's really important to askpermission before talking about or
sharing the hard things with someone.
And make sure you respect theirboundaries if they say no, they don't
want to talk about that with you.
Music (26:34):
[Transitional Music]
Nicole (26:42):
Do we have time for a resource?
Patricia (26:44):
We actually have time for a resource today.
Nicole (26:46):
Ooh, what do you got?
Patricia (26:48):
I don't know how much of a resource it is.
It's just a neat thingI found on the internet.
It's called, or actually thewebsite is tree.fm, T R E E dot F
M, and people all over the worldcan upload sounds of forests.
(27:09):
And sometimes it's like a three minuteclip, sometimes it's an eight minute clip.
And it will tell you where it is.
And it's just forest soundsthat people have uploaded.
So you can go and it'slike a, a random generator.
So you go in and I was listening to aforest in France somewhere for a few
(27:30):
minutes, and then a forest in Germany.
What I really enjoyed about it
Nicole (27:36):
was their accents?
Patricia (27:37):
I don't think the birds have accents.
Nicole (27:40):
Are you sure?
Patricia (27:41):
Okay, so, no, I'm not sure.
Because I did, like, I was listening.
I was like, oh, these birds, I havenot heard these bird calls, so...
Nicole (27:50):
These birds sound French.
Patricia (27:51):
These birds sound French.
But, it's tree.fm.
It's a fun little thing that is alsosomething I turn to when I just, like,
need, need a little something soothing.
Nicole (28:04):
I'm gonna have to try that out.
Patricia (28:06):
There's also, I have a note here.
So there was a website, I tried tocheck it out yesterday, but I don't know
if I checked it out at a weird time.
It's the Eternal Sunset website.
It's at sunset.funwebsite.fun, andit kind of streams in public webcams
(28:30):
from wherever the sun is setting.
Nicole (28:32):
Oh.
Patricia (28:33):
Except, of course, in, there are two kind of long strips of the world where
it's just like, yeah, there's no camerashere, which is over a lot of the Pacific.
Nicole (28:46):
Mm hmm.
Patricia (28:47):
So sometimes you log in and it's just black, it's
like, no, there's nothing.
And then I think there's anotherpart of the world where, like, uh,
the countries aren't necessarilyinternet friendly, and so it's just,
it'll just appear black at that time.
But if you catch it at the righttime, you could just, like, hop around
(29:09):
the world and follow the sunset.
So, I hope it works.
I'm gonna link it.
I'm gonna try to look at a different time,because I really think I looked at a time
when it was like, no, it's sunset overthe Pacific somewhere, um, and not Hawaii.
So, I'll link it in the show notes.
Nicole (29:27):
Okay, Patricia.
Patricia (29:28):
Yes, Nicole?
Nicole (29:29):
What is filling your cup this week?
Patricia (29:35):
I have two things.
Nicole (29:36):
What?
Patricia (29:37):
One.
Nicole (29:38):
You have two cups?
Patricia (29:39):
I have two cups.
Nicole (29:40):
Or is your, is, is your cup flowing?
Patricia (29:43):
I can't say it's flowing right now, but I do have a couple
things that have filled it a bit.
One is that one of my best friendsfrom college came up from Southern
California to visit us and broughtone of her kiddos and we went and
had a picnic out at a regional park.
(30:04):
And it was really great.
Like I haven't seen her sincebefore the pandemic and like, this
is a kid we haven't met before.
Nicole (30:12):
Yeah.
Patricia (30:13):
So that was really wonderful.
And also it feels silly to saythis, but I'm, I'm so excited.
So one of my friends boughtthe rice cooker of my dreams.
And then, when it was on sale,and I happened to miss the sale.
(30:33):
But then he bought another rice cooker,which was the one he wanted more.
So he sold me the first one hebought, which was the one I wanted.
He just sold it to me at the saleprice instead of returning it.
So now we have a ZojirushiNeuro Fuzzy Rice Cooker that
I cannot wait to give a go.
Nicole (30:56):
I'm honestly really surprised that it's still in the box and it hasn't been,
like, opened up and snuggled on the couch.
Patricia (31:02):
I've thought of it, but we've been too busy.
Both (31:04):
[giggling]
Patricia (31:06):
Nicole, what's filling your cup right now?
Nicole (31:09):
So, I really enjoyed the picnic we had with your friend from college,
but we were at this regional park duringsunset time, and as the sun was really
going down, we wandered over to the kidsplay area so the kiddo they brought with
them could slide on the slide, climbon the climbing structure, whatever.
(31:32):
And it had, it was positioned so thatit was within, like, surrounded on
three sides by very tall trees, and thefourth side was open and faced the sky.
And what this meant was that therewere bats flying between the trees, and
they were flying in a way where, if westood in amongst the play structures
(31:54):
and look toward the sky, they werereally easy to see against the blue sky.
And so there were just these wild littleflappy bats flapping all over the place,
and they were so cute and so fun to watch.
And I know we were supposed to bepaying attention to friends and
little kid, but I was just watchingthe bats, and I really enjoyed it.
Patricia (32:13):
I know you were, baby.
It was great.
I, so, as you know, I love bats.
My first tattoo is actually a bat.
And I love how chaotically they fly.
Uh,
Nicole (32:28):
They are not graceful flyers.
Patricia (32:29):
They are not graceful flyers and I love, like you watch
a bat fly and you're like, howare you even still in the air?
Just, I don't know.
I love them.
Well, that's our show for today.
We'd like to thank our awesomeaudio editor, Jen Zink.
You can find her at loopdilou.com,and we'll leave a link to
that in our show notes.
Nicole (32:48):
You can find the full show notes and transcript at eedapod.com.
That's E E D A P O D dot com.
There, you can also find a link to ourPatreon, our bookshop link, and a link
to the ongoing Enthusiastic Encouragementand Dubious Advice newsletter.
You can also find us on Instagramand Bluesky at eedapod, and
(33:09):
email us at eedapod@gmail.com.
Patricia (33:12):
We are nothing if not consistent.
Nicole (33:14):
We would also appreciate it so much if you would subscribe and rate us
on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whereveryou get your podcasts that allow ratings.
It actually does help a lot inhelping other people find us.
Patricia (33:29):
We would also appreciate anyone who could subscribe to us on Patreon.
Support there is going to help us keepthis show going, especially without ads.
You can find us at patreon.com/eedapod.
In the meantime, we hope youfind ways to be kind to yourself.
Drink some water and read a book.
We'll be talking to you soon.
Nicole (33:51):
I guess we should go make some rice.
Patricia (33:52):
Yeah.
Rice!
Nicole (33:55):
Rice rice baby.
Patricia: [Mimicking the beat from Vanilla Ice's song Ice Ice Baby] (33:56):
undefined
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