It seems so simple

Something is missing in modern parenthood. Parents find a lot of messaging in their lives but not a lot of actual information about how to implement things.

Social media is an easy structure on which to place blame, but truly all media holds some responsibility. Cherry-picked research articles framed in ways to grab attention, advertising space offered to anyone who can pay, mis- and dis-information peddlers protected by free speech - these all play a role in how parents are constantly shown bits and pieces of facts and myths, broken up and dissociated from a larger framework that would give any of them context.

Commercial influencers and companies say whatever they need to say to earn money. It might be based on fact but missing large pieces of relevant perspective. It could be based on myths that persist despite being scientifically refuted, or simply presented in a confusing way. (Here I am thinking specifically of infant formula manufacturers telling parents that breastfeeding causes mental health issues and formula does not - one of those things that could seem simple if you aren’t given all of the information.)

A long time ago I wrote on a piece of paper that “nothing means anything by itself.” I go back to that thought all the time. Perspective and context are absolutely everything. Nothing is simple. Even if you have the type of personality which sees the world as black or white, A or B, good or bad, you are still taking things into account when you do that.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what would make things better for parents who want to breastfeed* their babies. How could we simplify things so that they had the information they needed before they even need it?

The problem is that we can’t simplify it. It’s complex. It’s nuanced and personal and related to so many things that it isn’t possible to distill everything down to the simplest messages that will resonate for everyone.

Tell me a universal “truth” about lactation and I’ll show you an example of an exception. We try and try to create messages that are positive and informative and useful for all, and in the end there’s always at least one negative response OR a person who tells you that it didn’t work that way for them.

One of the concepts I teach my students and interns is exactly this: there’s no one way to solve any lactation problem your client brings you. If you think there is, you are not providing client-centered care.

A messaging ecosystem I built recently revolves around these 2 tenets: breastfeeding is important, and breastfeeding help is available.

I stand behind these statements because I believe they are helpful to many, but I know for a fact that there are exceptions. Breastfeeding IS important, but there are cases where it is less important or holds more risk than not breastfeeding. Help IS available to many folks, but unfortunately, it is not always accessible, affordable, of high quality, culturally-matched, etc.

In the end, though, these 2 statements make for a solid foundation on which I can make many points of conversation. They allow me to expand in ways that I need to expand in specific settings.

It is never simple to talk about breastfeeding. The longer I am involved in activities which require me to do so, the more I feel that in my bones. One of the most popular social media posts I have ever made is here:

It’s 100% true. No matter who is involved in a conversation about lactation, they are involved on a personal level. Think you’re talking to someone who has no horse in that race? Chances are, someone they love has one. When you talk about breastfeeding, people find meaning far beyond your intentions.

We have a responsibility to be sensitive to that, but more importantly, those of us who have been privileged to become educated about it have a responsibility to share ou