The Invisible Labor of Grief: How Women Carry Emotional Weight with Nikki the Death Doula

Grief isn’t just about death — it’s the emotional response to any kind of loss, from big life changes to daily disappointments. And for women, especially, grief often goes unseen and unspoken.

In this episode of Feminist Founders, Becky talks with Nikki the Death Doula about the heavy (and invisible) labor women carry when it comes to grief. Together, they unpack how we’re conditioned to take on everyone else’s pain, hide our own, and minimize the everyday losses that still weigh on us.

Nikki shares her experience as a death doula, what she’s learned about unrecognized grief, and the simple practices that can help us process it — including her mantra: name it to tame it. They also explore how cultural silence around miscarriage, caregiving, and “small” griefs leaves us isolated, and how community and validation can open the door to healing.

Connect with Nikki Smith:

• Website: https://www.nikkithedeathdoula.com
• Good Grief with Nikki the Death Doula: https://www.nikkithedeathdoula.com/podcast
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikki-smith-26203b38/

Discussed in this episode:

• What grief really is (and why it’s not just about death)
• The “invisible labor” of carrying everyone else’s grief
• How women are socialized to silence or downplay their own pain
• The compounding effect of unprocessed grief
• Miscarriage, caregiving, and other under‑acknowledged losses
• “Name it to tame it”: a simple practice to process daily grief
• Comparative suffering (aka the grief Olympics) and why it harms us
• The healing power of validation and community

🎤 PROUD MEMBERS OF THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: http://feministpodcastcollective.com/