July 26, 2025 • 7 mins
Addiction can be a sneaky culprit behind those pesky financial troubles, and we're diving deep into that today. We share a story about a tough guy who came in for help with his money woes, only to reveal that the real issue was his struggle with addiction. It's wild how we often assume folks just need to budget better, but the truth is, sometimes it's way more personal than that. We chat about the different forms addiction can take and how it impacts spending habits, leaving many in a tight spot. So, if you or someone you know is caught in that cycle, hang tight, we’ve got some insights that could help shake things up. Join me in this special bonus episode as I discuss the hidden cost of addiction.
Takeaways:
- Addiction can often be the hidden beast behind financial struggles, not just poor budgeting.
- It's essential to track where your money goes to truly understand your financial health.
- Many people overlook their spending habits at bars and restaurants, leading to unexpected debt.
- We need to remember that not everyone struggling with money is just careless or lazy.
Links referenced in this episode:
WATCH NOW ON YOUTUBE (OUR VIDEO VERSION)
WATCH NOW ON RUMBLE (OUR VIDEO VERSION)
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Buy Ralph's Book - Mastering Your Finances!
Buy Ralph's Book - Gospel of Entrepreneurship: Following Jesus in Your Business Journey
Buy Ralph's Book - How to Become a Financially Confident Christian
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I just wanted to share something.
The other day I had an appointment.
Now, it seemed like just atypical consultation.
Guy comes in, and I met thisguy before.
He sat down at my desk.
And I picture this guy.
He's a kind of a tough guy,rides a motorcycle, got tattoos up
and down his arms, and kind ofjust, you know, the epitome of just
a sort of.
You look at him, you're like,this is a tough guy.
(00:20):
And he sat down with me and hesaid, you know, Ralph, I really need
some help with something.
And I said, great, I can help you.
He said, and he hands me thispiece of paper.
And on this piece of paper,he's got written down his mortgage,
how much his mortgage payment is.
He's got down his car loans,he's got down personal loans.
He's got all of his expenseslisted out item by item.
Now, he didn't have a lot of stuff.
(00:41):
He had quite a bit of stuff.
Then he's got his cable bill,his grocery bill, all those sort
of things.
Insurance, car insurance,motorcycle insurance.
And I'm looking through thislist, and I'm saying to him, I say,
okay, what's going on?
He says, well, I'm reallystruggling right now.
And I said, okay, well, tellme about your income.
And he potentially, he's aunion guy, works union shops.
I don't want to give too muchaway because I don't want to give
(01:02):
away this guy's identity.
It wouldn't be fair to do.
Anyway, we're going throughthis conversation.
He says, yeah, I'm makingpretty good money, Ralph.
I said, okay.
So I added up his income, andI add up his expenses, and he had
about $1,000 margin at theend, which to me is like, okay, $1,000
margin is pretty good for most people.
And I started to pry a little bit.
(01:22):
I said, hey, let me just askyou a question.
I said, you're sitting here today.
Now, I forgot to mention one thing.
Now, he did have a tax issue.
He had taken a draw from hisretirement plan, and he ended up.
When he did his 24 tax return,he ended up owing some money to the
irs.
So one of the reasons he camein is he wanted to sit down with
me and sort of go over, hey,Ralph, how do I handle this?
Don't hold me to this.
(01:43):
I want to say he owed about$15,000 in federal tax and about
5.
$5,000 in state tax, about$20,000 overall, which is not a small
amount with his income.
You know, something he couldget through.
Probably set up A payment planwith the irs, and I'm starting working
these angles.
And he said, okay, well, canyou help me try to figure out a budget,
how to figure out how to putthis all together?
(02:03):
And I said, sure, I can helpyou with that.
I said, the first thing I wantto do is really understand where
your money's going.
And he sort of looked at melike, well, what do you mean by that?
He says, I wrote it all down.
I said, no, no, no.
I want you to really tell me.
Where does your money go?
Looking at your question,credit card statement, looking at
your bank statement, all thatsort of thing.
Just tell me where it's going.
I said, do you keep track of that?
And he says, well, no, I hadto be honest with you.
(02:25):
I don't really keep track of that.
Now, listen, he's not the only one.
A lot of people that I workwith on a daily basis don't take
the time to do that little aside.
It's a great thing you should do.
But he hadn't done that.
And I said, okay, that's fine.
It's respectable.
I said, well, it seems likeyou've got some margin here.
He goes, yeah, but there's abigger problem all of a sudden.
And I'm looking at this, andhe's saying, what do you think about
(02:45):
this?
What do you think?
We're going through all kindsof iterations.
And all of a sudden, I lookover at this guy and the tears are
just streaming down his face.
And I'm thinking to myself,what is going on here?
And then it occurred to me,see, it wasn't about the money all
along.
See, a lot of people figurethat people who are struggling with
their money, well, they'remaking bad decisions.
(03:05):
They're not managing theirmoney well.
They're not good at saving.
They spend too much.
So I pried a little deeper.
I said, tell me, really,what's going on?
And he said, well, you knowwhat, Ralph?
He says, the truth is, if youlooked at where my money went, I
spent a lot of money at the bar.
I said, okay, well, you're notthe only one.
I said, there's a lot ofpeople that go to the bar.
(03:26):
He says, no, you don't understand.
I go to the bar a lot.
And I said, okay, well, we canwork with that.
He goes, no, I don't think youunderstand, Ralph.
I have a real issue.
So here's this guy.
I mean, picture of a toughguy, right?
Not a tough guy.
Wants to fight with you allthe time.
That's not what I'm talking about.
But a tough guy, strong guy,that's probably a better word to
(03:47):
use, strong guy.
And he's laying it all out for me.
And she would have been realeasy for me to say, oh, here's a
budget, go do this, go dothat, track your money, all that
sort of things.
But that wasn't the issue.
Oftentimes money isn't the issue.
So if you're listening to thisright now, if you're watching this
right now, there's a prettygood chance that it's not about the
(04:08):
money with you either.
You might be struggling with addiction.
This guy's struggling with addiction.
The thing I did was I pointedhim to some AA meetings and I'm hoping
he follows up with thatbecause I think he really does recognize
that he has a problem.
There are all kinds of addictions.
People are addicted toalcohol, people are addicted to food,
people are addicted to spending.
There's all kinds of thingsthat people are addicted to.
(04:30):
And it's really easy for us tosit back and judge that person and
say, you know, why can't theysave money?
They just, they're frivolouswith their money.
They don't know where theirmoney's going.
It's real easier for us to bejudgmental of those people.
But this meeting the otherday, it really brought it full circle
for me.
And I just think we all needto just take a break sometimes and
say we don't know what someoneelse is facing, we don't know what
(04:54):
trauma they've gone through,what led them to this situation in
their life.
And if that's you right now, Ijust want to encourage you, you can
reach out to me at the show.
I'd be happy to talk to youand see if I can help you get back
to where you need to be.
Because like I said at thebeginning of this, sometimes it's
more than the money, Sometimesit's a deep seated addiction.
(05:15):
How about we pray together,Father God, I just want to ask prayer
right now for anybody who'sout there struggling with addiction,
Lord.
There are people listening andwatching right now, Lord, who are
struggling with this on aminute by minute, hour by hour, day
by day basis.
And Lord, just ask that youwould help them get through this
situation in their lives, Lord.
Help them to lay it at thefoot of the cross and finally relinquish
(05:38):
control of that, Lord, andjust give it to you.
And I, Lord, I just pray thatyou'll touch the hearts of those
people who are listening andwatching, who are battling addiction
ever.
This client I worked with theother day, Lord, I ask that you would
give him strength, give himstrength to overcome this addiction
that is crippling his life,that is costing him so dearly.
Lord, you are the greatphysician, Lord, and we know, as
(06:01):
we pray right now, we knowthat you can fix this.
We know that you can solvethis, Lord.
So I just ask that you wouldopen up all of our hearts and help
us to reach out to those whoare battling addiction, Lord, and
not just cast them aside andjust assume that it's mistakes that
they're making.
Lord, please be with everyonewho's listening and watching today
who's struggling with thataddiction, Lord, and show them hope.
(06:22):
Show them a path forward.
And I ask this in the preciousname of Jesus.
Amen.
I just needed to share thattoday because Lord's been putting
that on my heart lately.
And I just felt like this wassomething I needed to share today.
So I would encourage you sharethis with somebody else.
Maybe there's somebody elsethat's out there battling addiction.
(06:43):
Put your arm around them andtell them it's going to be okay.
Give them an opportunity totalk to you.
Maybe they just need to be heard.
Maybe they just need to get itoff their chest.
I'm going to encourage you.
Just share the show with them.
You can point them tofinancially confident Christian.
Like I said, sometimes it'snot about finances.
Sometimes it's about what'sgoing on in your life.
(07:04):
I just want to say thank youand God bless you, and you have a
great day today.
I just wanted to share something.
The other day I had an appointment.
Now, it seemed like just atypical consultation.
Guy comes in, and I met thisguy before.
He sat down at my desk.
And I picture this guy.
He's a kind of a tough guy,rides a motorcycle, got tattoos up
and down his arms, and kind ofjust, you know, the epitome of just
a sort of.
You look at him, you're like,this is a tough guy.
(00:20):
And he sat down with me and hesaid, you know, Ralph, I really need
some help with something.
And I said, great, I can help you.
He said, and he hands me thispiece of paper.
And on this piece of paper,he's got written down his mortgage,
how much his mortgage payment is.
He's got down his car loans,he's got down personal loans.
He's got all of his expenseslisted out item by item.
Now, he didn't have a lot of stuff.
(00:41):
He had quite a bit of stuff.
Then he's got his cable bill,his grocery bill, all those sort
of things.
Insurance, car insurance,motorcycle insurance.
And I'm looking through thislist, and I'm saying to him, I say,
okay, what's going on?
He says, well, I'm reallystruggling right now.
And I said, okay, well, tellme about your income.
And he potentially, he's aunion guy, works union shops.
I don't want to give too muchaway because I don't want to give
(01:02):
away this guy's identity.
It wouldn't be fair to do.
Anyway, we're going throughthis conversation.
He says, yeah, I'm makingpretty good money, Ralph.
I said, okay.
So I added up his income, andI add up his expenses, and he had
about $1,000 margin at theend, which to me is like, okay, $1,000
margin is pretty good for most people.
And I started to pry a little bit.
(01:22):
I said, hey, let me just askyou a question.
I said, you're sitting here today.
Now, I forgot to mention one thing.
Now, he did have a tax issue.
He had taken a draw from hisretirement plan, and he ended up.
When he did his 24 tax return,he ended up owing some money to the
irs.
So one of the reasons he camein is he wanted to sit down with
me and sort of go over, hey,Ralph, how do I handle this?
Don't hold me to this.
(01:43):
I want to say he owed about$15,000 in federal tax and about
5.
$5,000 in state tax, about$20,000 overall, which is not a small
amount with his income.
You know, something he couldget through.
Probably set up A payment planwith the irs, and I'm starting working
these angles.
And he said, okay, well, canyou help me try to figure out a budget,
how to figure out how to putthis all together?
(02:03):
And I said, sure, I can helpyou with that.
I said, the first thing I wantto do is really understand where
your money's going.
And he sort of looked at melike, well, what do you mean by that?
He says, I wrote it all down.
I said, no, no, no.
I want you to really tell me.
Where does your money go?
Looking at your question,credit card statement, looking at
your bank statement, all thatsort of thing.
Just tell me where it's going.
I said, do you keep track of that?
And he says, well, no, I hadto be honest with you.
(02:25):
I don't really keep track of that.
Now, listen, he's not the only one.
A lot of people that I workwith on a daily basis don't take
the time to do that little aside.
It's a great thing you should do.
But he hadn't done that.
And I said, okay, that's fine.
It's respectable.
I said, well, it seems likeyou've got some margin here.
He goes, yeah, but there's abigger problem all of a sudden.
And I'm looking at this, andhe's saying, what do you think about
(02:45):
this?
What do you think?
We're going through all kindsof iterations.
And all of a sudden, I lookover at this guy and the tears are
just streaming down his face.
And I'm thinking to myself,what is going on here?
And then it occurred to me,see, it wasn't about the money all
along.
See, a lot of people figurethat people who are struggling with
their money, well, they'remaking bad decisions.
(03:05):
They're not managing theirmoney well.
They're not good at saving.
They spend too much.
So I pried a little deeper.
I said, tell me, really,what's going on?
And he said, well, you knowwhat, Ralph?
He says, the truth is, if youlooked at where my money went, I
spent a lot of money at the bar.
I said, okay, well, you're notthe only one.
I said, there's a lot ofpeople that go to the bar.
(03:26):
He says, no, you don't understand.
I go to the bar a lot.
And I said, okay, well, we canwork with that.
He goes, no, I don't think youunderstand, Ralph.
I have a real issue.
So here's this guy.
I mean, picture of a toughguy, right?
Not a tough guy.
Wants to fight with you allthe time.
That's not what I'm talking about.
But a tough guy, strong guy,that's probably a better word to
(03:47):
use, strong guy.
And he's laying it all out for me.
And she would have been realeasy for me to say, oh, here's a
budget, go do this, go dothat, track your money, all that
sort of things.
But that wasn't the issue.
Oftentimes money isn't the issue.
So if you're listening to thisright now, if you're watching this
right now, there's a prettygood chance that it's not about the
(04:08):
money with you either.
You might be struggling with addiction.
This guy's struggling with addiction.
The thing I did was I pointedhim to some AA meetings and I'm hoping
he follows up with thatbecause I think he really does recognize
that he has a problem.
There are all kinds of addictions.
People are addicted toalcohol, people are addicted to food,
people are addicted to spending.
There's all kinds of thingsthat people are addicted to.
(04:30):
And it's really easy for us tosit back and judge that person and
say, you know, why can't theysave money?
They just, they're frivolouswith their money.
They don't know where theirmoney's going.
It's real easier for us to bejudgmental of those people.
But this meeting the otherday, it really brought it full circle
for me.
And I just think we all needto just take a break sometimes and
say we don't know what someoneelse is facing, we don't know what
(04:54):
trauma they've gone through,what led them to this situation in
their life.
And if that's you right now, Ijust want to encourage you, you can
reach out to me at the show.
I'd be happy to talk to youand see if I can help you get back
to where you need to be.
Because like I said at thebeginning of this, sometimes it's
more than the money, Sometimesit's a deep seated addiction.
(05:15):
How about we pray together,Father God, I just want to ask prayer
right now for anybody who'sout there struggling with addiction,
Lord.
There are people listening andwatching right now, Lord, who are
struggling with this on aminute by minute, hour by hour, day
by day basis.
And Lord, just ask that youwould help them get through this
situation in their lives, Lord.
Help them to lay it at thefoot of the cross and finally relinquish
(05:38):
control of that, Lord, andjust give it to you.
And I, Lord, I just pray thatyou'll touch the hearts of those
people who are listening andwatching, who are battling addiction
ever.
This client I worked with theother day, Lord, I ask that you would
give him strength, give himstrength to overcome this addiction
that is crippling his life,that is costing him so dearly.
Lord, you are the greatphysician, Lord, and we know, as
(06:01):
we pray right now, we knowthat you can fix this.
We know that you can solvethis, Lord.
So I just ask that you wouldopen up all of our hearts and help
us to reach out to those whoare battling addiction, Lord, and
not just cast them aside andjust assume that it's mistakes that
they're making.
Lord, please be with everyonewho's listening and watching today
who's struggling with thataddiction, Lord, and show them hope.
(06:22):
Show them a path forward.
And I ask this in the preciousname of Jesus.
Amen.
I just needed to share thattoday because Lord's been putting
that on my heart lately.
And I just felt like this wassomething I needed to share today.
So I would encourage you sharethis with somebody else.
Maybe there's somebody elsethat's out there battling addiction.
(06:43):
Put your arm around them andtell them it's going to be okay.
Give them an opportunity totalk to you.
Maybe they just need to be heard.
Maybe they just need to get itoff their chest.
I'm going to encourage you.
Just share the show with them.
You can point them tofinancially confident Christian.
Like I said, sometimes it'snot about finances.
Sometimes it's about what'sgoing on in your life.
(07:04):
I just want to say thank youand God bless you, and you have a
great day today.
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