July 6, 2025 • 15 mins
In this episode of Financially Confident Christian, Ralph tackles a challenge that so many of us face: feeling stuck on a treadmill of trying to match the success, possessions, and lifestyles of others. From social media envy to neighborhood competition, he breaks down why this pattern is so draining to our peace, our purpose, and our wallets — and how to reclaim a sense of confidence and gratitude rooted in biblical wisdom. Ralph shows you how to break free and truly escape the comparison trap.
Check out the full podcast episode here
In the second half of the show, Ralph shares actionable ways to guard your heart, identify comparison triggers, and practice radical contentment. You’ll learn practical strategies for celebrating others while staying anchored in your own God-given path. Don’t miss these encouraging reminders that your worth and purpose have nothing to do with the highlight reels of others.
Chapters:
- 00:11 - Breaking Free from the Comparison Trap
- 01:01 - Escaping the Comparison Trap
- 04:09 - Overcoming Comparison: The Journey to Unique Contentment
- 07:04 - Dealing with Envy and Triggers
- 09:50 - Breaking the Cycle of Comparison
- 11:45 - Defining Enough: A New Perspective on Financial Confidence
Takeaways:
- Comparison is like a treadmill that drains your energy and joy, so step off!
- True freedom comes when you stop comparing your life to others; focus on your journey.
- Contentment is spiritual strength; God has a unique path for everyone, including you.
- Celebrate others' successes instead of envying them; it brings peace and joy to your life.
- Limit your comparison triggers: unfollow, mute, or avoid what makes you feel inadequate.
- Remember, it's about your path, not someone else's highlight reel on social media.
Links referenced:
WATCH NOW ON YOUTUBE (OUR VIDEO VERSION)
WATCH NOW ON RUMBLE (OUR VIDEO VERSION)
Please share our Podcast with all your friends and family!
Submit your questions or ideas for future shows - email us at
ralph@askralph.com or leave a voicemail message on our podcast page
Buy Ralph's Book - Mastering Your Finances!
Buy Ralph's Book - Gospel of Entrepreneurship: Following Jesus in Your Business Journey
Buy Ralph's Book -
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ralph (00:00):
Does it feel like you're constantly running a race, you know,
trying to keep up with what everyoneelse has, and it's just draining your
energy, it's draining your joy, andfrankly, it's draining your bank account.
What if you could step off thattreadmill and find true freedom
from that comparison trap?
Well, stick with me today because yourbreakthrough starts here on today's show.
(00:34):
Hey there.
Welcome back to your Daily,financially Confident Christian.
I'm Ralph, and it's alwaysgreat to be with you again.
We continue to answerthat deep seated question.
How can I become a financiallyconfident Christian?
And we're in week two of our series,beyond the Budget, finding Financial
Freedom through Intentional Living,and we've tackled contentment.
We've talked about gratitude.
(00:55):
We've talked about spendingby values, trusting God.
And a little bit about impulsecontrol, and today we're gonna talk
about how to escape the keeping upwith the Jones' comparison trap.
Listen, I dunno about you,but I wanna meet them because
they've got a ton of great stuff.
Just think about it for a second.
You scroll or chatter, you walk througha neighborhood and all of a sudden you
see it, that new car or maybe thosevacation pictures, or your friend
(01:20):
sends you that pictures of theirremodeling and all of a sudden you
start to think, man, I wish I had that.
Your own life feels lacking and youstart upgrading, Not because you need it.
'cause of that comparison.
You're trying to keep up with theJoneses, that's what you're doing,
and in the end, what does it do?
It drains your energy because youspend all your time trying to keep up
(01:44):
with something you can't keep up with.
It causes you to go into debt.
I've seen so many people do that, and themost sinister part of the whole thing.
And I want you to hear this, itbreeds anxiety because in the end,
you're chasing this moving goalpost.
It just keeps goingfarther and farther out.
(02:04):
It's like a football field that justdoesn't stop, and you never get to
that point of feeling secure andthat, that, that comparison, it just
kills your joy and it just completelyhalts your financial progress.
Here's the thing.
You gotta understand, our culture feedsoff of this comparison, especially online.
I, I call it the, the, the, thehighlight reel of Facebook and Instagram,
(02:28):
and you name TikTok, all of them.
It's all about comparison.
Look what I have, look what I have.
You need to have this too, but I wantyou to take a second and just talk
about what scripture warns us about.
Look at the Book of Exodus now, oftenget to the book of Exodus, but Exodus
chapter 20, verse 17 says this.
You shall not covet andcovets all about comparison.
(02:51):
Look at the book of Philippianschapter four, verses 11 to 13.
I have learned to be content.
Whatever the circumstance is, I can do allthings through him who gives me strength.
Well, let's just sit here fora second and think about this.
What is the scripture saying?
I have learned to be content, whatever thecircumstances, and I can do all things.
(03:15):
Not some things, all thingsfor him who gives me strengths.
And see, here's the thing Iwant you to really understand.
We make a very bold statement.
Comparison is covetousness in disguise.
That's what it is.
Thou shalt not covet.
One of the, one of the main sins of theBible, well comparison is just that.
(03:38):
And on the other side ofthat coin, contentment.
let me just tell you right now, thatspiritual strength, because here's
the thing, you've got to recognize.
If you take nothing else away fromtoday's show, God has a unique path
for you, not your neighbor's path,not your friend onlines path, not your
girlfriend from work, whoever that is,God has a unique path just for you.
(04:00):
you weren't ever called to,take someone else's journey.
That's their journey.
Your journey's a different path.
God has a different plan for you.
So now you're asking what can we do?
How do we step off that comparisontreadmill, Ralph, it's so hard to not
compare myself to what I have and what theother people don't have or what I don't
have, and they have you ready for it.
(04:23):
It's a little bit bold, but I thinkyou gotta practice what I'll call
radical contentment and guard yourheart from those comparison triggers.
You're like, oh, oh, that'sa lot of word, Ralph.
What does that mean?
It means to celebrate others.
Celebrate when they have success, andthen focus on your own unique purpose.
So I'm gonna give you an actionstep today to really help you get
(04:46):
past this comparison to the Joneses.
And it all starts with lookingat the, we talked about a
lot about triggers yesterday.
I'm gonna talk about some more today.
You gotta learn to limitthose comparison triggers.
So I'm gonna encourage youright now to identify one
place that triggers comparison.
Maybe for you, it's at social media.
We talked about that.
I'm scrolling through Facebook and,oh, look at the new car this one has,
(05:08):
and look at the vacation they're on.
Or look at that fancy newwatch or whatever that is.
So maybe for you it's socialmedia, sometimes it's a store.
You're in the store and Isay, oh, I, I gotta have this.
Or maybe it's just a person you're around.
And you're like, okay, gr, thatsounds good, but how do you do it?
Well, unfollow, mute, avoider.
(05:28):
Even if you have to do it for just a week.
Lemme give you some examples.
So let's say that your triggersInstagram stories, you'd love to watch
Instagram 'cause you like to see whatinfluencer are doing, showing those
luxury vacations and it starts to makeyou feel, I, I wish I could do that.
I, I wish I had that option.
I wish I had the money to do that.
That's a trigger for you.
(05:48):
How do you battle that trigger?
Unfollow them or mute thoseaccounts for seven days.
Maybe you mute 'em forever 'cause youdon't need to hear what they have to say.
And then just take a look a couple daysafter that and say, how's my mood now?
Because I think you're gonnafind your mood's gonna change.
How about this?
Maybe you're walking through high-endstores at the mall and as you do
(06:09):
that, I just don't measure up.
Of people feel that I, I'vebeen at the mall before.
I'm like, I'm walking through.
Look, for me, it's alwaysbeen a weight thing.
Always been a little bit too big towear the clothes that you find at the
mall, and that was this comparison.
I, I wish I could wear that.
Obviously that's a trigger for me.
So don't go to the mall.
Avoid that shopping area, evenif you do it just for a week.
(06:32):
And if you're, well, that'sa way to get exercise.
Go for a piece of walking inthe outdoors or visit a library.
Avoid that trigger.
How about this trigger?
Maybe you've got that coworkerwho constantly talks about their
latest purchases, man, everyday around the water cooler.
They're just talking about, I didthis, Ralph and I did that, and I, yes.
Great.
Well, one of the ways you can avoid thatis cut that small talk out together.
(06:54):
Maybe just do it for a week or, orredirect those conversations to topics
that don't stir that comparison.
You're like, okay, Ralph,I can avoid the triggers.
But then you mentioned something afew minutes ago about that envy thing.
'cause honestly, I think that's thebigger part of this, and that is what
do I do when I'm tempted with envy?
(07:15):
I'm gonna give you acouple examples of this.
I mean, basically I want you to justsay, you know, thank God for blessing
them, help them help me rejoice them.
But lemme give you some examples.
So let's say you have a friend and afriend post about buying a new car.
Hey, they got the fancy, you were like,oh wow, I wish I could have that car.
But a friend post aboutthat, he bought a new car.
Here's what I want you to say to yourself.
(07:36):
thank God for blessing them.
You gave them an opportunity andthen help them to celebrate that.
Hey, that's so cool.
That's a cool car.
I'd love to go for a ride in it sometime.
Or maybe you've got this familymember who shares about getting a
raise or a promotion and working.
Man, I'd love to get a raise.
I haven't had a raise in forever.
Promotions.
They don't even do those here.
(07:57):
And maybe at that point you say, God,listen, I trust your timing for me.
I know it's not my timeyet, but Lord, I sure.
Thank you for their breakthrough.
See, I'm, I'm flipping a scripton that envy, or maybe this
one, and I felt this one myself.
Someone shares their weightloss transformation or maybe
they remodeled their home.
(08:17):
You're like, man, I wish Icould lose weight like that.
I wish I could be that skinnier.
I could be that, that, thatit ain't shape and you know, I
wanna compare myself to them.
No, but don't do that.
Just say, Lord, thank you for workingin their life, and Lord, just teach
me to be joyfully present in my own.
So find ways to break thatenvy and then do this.
(08:39):
And this is absolutely critical.
Focus on your unique path.
How do you do that?
Here's what you do.
Write two or threeblessings unique to you.
You know, maybe you have astrong, supportive spouse.
Well, you don't know what thatother person's going through yet.
Maybe they got the brandnew car, but their spouse or
relationship is a nightmare.
Or maybe you have theability to work from home.
(09:00):
You don't even have todeal with the water.
Cool.
And you see everybody else leaving theneighborhood in the morning where you're
like, cool, I can work in my pajamas.
I don't have to go anywhere.
Or maybe you've got a garden.
And that garden just brings you peace.
And then as you reflect, say, Lord, justthank you for this simple, rich life.
I don't wanna trade it for anything.
See, that's how you break that comparison.
You start looking at your blessings.
(09:22):
Maybe look at your skills.
Maybe you're listening to this right now.
You're saying, Ralph, you know whatI've done the things you talked about,
man, I am doing great financially.
Well, there's a blessing.
The Lord has blessed you.
He's given you a second chance aftera financial hardship, and maybe you
have the skills to help other people.
Or maybe your children makeyou laugh every day and just
think about it like this.
(09:42):
God, I see how you've beenfaithful to me, and Lord, help
me to stay focused on the road.
You've marked for me my path.
And now you're probably saying,Ralph, how does this help?
Well, here's what it does.
Obviously it disarms that envy.
That envy is what causes you to staystuck in that cycle of comparison.
It truly reframes your, itreframes your blessings.
(10:06):
And when you do those things,it brings you peace and it
brings you focus on your path.
Well, let's pray together.
Father God, we just thank youfor designing us all uniquely
with our own paths and our ownthings that make us who we are.
And Lord, we confess to you right nowthat we fall into that comparison cycle.
We just do, Lord, it's who we are.
(10:28):
Help us to break free of that, free usfrom that envy Lord, and free us from that
false identity that lies to us and tellsus that we need to be something we're not.
And help us find contentment and helpus to find clarity, Lord, not in stuff.
Not in the stuff at the mall, not atthe stuff online, but in you, Lord.
And help us to celebrate others andhonor our path that we're on, and we
(10:49):
ask this in confidence in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Listen, freedom comes when youstop keeping up with others.
That's when you will truly findfreedom and live fully in God's
unique design for your life.
So filter that comparison, affirmothers, and focus on your purpose.
(11:12):
I'm gonna ask you to dome a favor right now.
If this show, or if this episodehas impacted your life, I want
you to share it with somebody.
Just send them a text, send them anemail and say, Hey, check this out.
Go to financially confident christian.com.
Tell 'em about what thisshow has meant to you.
And while you're there, if you wannaget a copy of my book, I'm gonna
give it to you absolutely free.
(11:33):
It's called Mastering Your Finances.
You get to that by going to financiallyconfident christian.com/master.
It's a short book, but let me just tellyou right now, it is hugely impactful.
Now, tomorrow we're gonna changethis subject a little bit and we're
gonna talk about this question.
How do I define what enough really is?
(11:54):
I don't want you to miss that showbecause we're really gonna talk about
how do I define what enough really is?
Now let's all go out thereand be financially confident.
Christians, you can do this.
I believe in you.
I, I believe in you a hundred percent.
Believe in yourself.
Stay financially savvy.
God bless you, and youhave a great day today.
Does it feel like you're constantly running a race, you know,
trying to keep up with what everyoneelse has, and it's just draining your
energy, it's draining your joy, andfrankly, it's draining your bank account.
What if you could step off thattreadmill and find true freedom
from that comparison trap?
Well, stick with me today because yourbreakthrough starts here on today's show.
(00:34):
Hey there.
Welcome back to your Daily,financially Confident Christian.
I'm Ralph, and it's alwaysgreat to be with you again.
We continue to answerthat deep seated question.
How can I become a financiallyconfident Christian?
And we're in week two of our series,beyond the Budget, finding Financial
Freedom through Intentional Living,and we've tackled contentment.
We've talked about gratitude.
(00:55):
We've talked about spendingby values, trusting God.
And a little bit about impulsecontrol, and today we're gonna talk
about how to escape the keeping upwith the Jones' comparison trap.
Listen, I dunno about you,but I wanna meet them because
they've got a ton of great stuff.
Just think about it for a second.
You scroll or chatter, you walk througha neighborhood and all of a sudden you
see it, that new car or maybe thosevacation pictures, or your friend
(01:20):
sends you that pictures of theirremodeling and all of a sudden you
start to think, man, I wish I had that.
Your own life feels lacking and youstart upgrading, Not because you need it.
'cause of that comparison.
You're trying to keep up with theJoneses, that's what you're doing,
and in the end, what does it do?
It drains your energy because youspend all your time trying to keep up
(01:44):
with something you can't keep up with.
It causes you to go into debt.
I've seen so many people do that, and themost sinister part of the whole thing.
And I want you to hear this, itbreeds anxiety because in the end,
you're chasing this moving goalpost.
It just keeps goingfarther and farther out.
(02:04):
It's like a football field that justdoesn't stop, and you never get to
that point of feeling secure andthat, that, that comparison, it just
kills your joy and it just completelyhalts your financial progress.
Here's the thing.
You gotta understand, our culture feedsoff of this comparison, especially online.
I, I call it the, the, the, thehighlight reel of Facebook and Instagram,
(02:28):
and you name TikTok, all of them.
It's all about comparison.
Look what I have, look what I have.
You need to have this too, but I wantyou to take a second and just talk
about what scripture warns us about.
Look at the Book of Exodus now, oftenget to the book of Exodus, but Exodus
chapter 20, verse 17 says this.
You shall not covet andcovets all about comparison.
(02:51):
Look at the book of Philippianschapter four, verses 11 to 13.
I have learned to be content.
Whatever the circumstance is, I can do allthings through him who gives me strength.
Well, let's just sit here fora second and think about this.
What is the scripture saying?
I have learned to be content, whatever thecircumstances, and I can do all things.
(03:15):
Not some things, all thingsfor him who gives me strengths.
And see, here's the thing Iwant you to really understand.
We make a very bold statement.
Comparison is covetousness in disguise.
That's what it is.
Thou shalt not covet.
One of the, one of the main sins of theBible, well comparison is just that.
(03:38):
And on the other side ofthat coin, contentment.
let me just tell you right now, thatspiritual strength, because here's
the thing, you've got to recognize.
If you take nothing else away fromtoday's show, God has a unique path
for you, not your neighbor's path,not your friend onlines path, not your
girlfriend from work, whoever that is,God has a unique path just for you.
(04:00):
you weren't ever called to,take someone else's journey.
That's their journey.
Your journey's a different path.
God has a different plan for you.
So now you're asking what can we do?
How do we step off that comparisontreadmill, Ralph, it's so hard to not
compare myself to what I have and what theother people don't have or what I don't
have, and they have you ready for it.
(04:23):
It's a little bit bold, but I thinkyou gotta practice what I'll call
radical contentment and guard yourheart from those comparison triggers.
You're like, oh, oh, that'sa lot of word, Ralph.
What does that mean?
It means to celebrate others.
Celebrate when they have success, andthen focus on your own unique purpose.
So I'm gonna give you an actionstep today to really help you get
(04:46):
past this comparison to the Joneses.
And it all starts with lookingat the, we talked about a
lot about triggers yesterday.
I'm gonna talk about some more today.
You gotta learn to limitthose comparison triggers.
So I'm gonna encourage youright now to identify one
place that triggers comparison.
Maybe for you, it's at social media.
We talked about that.
I'm scrolling through Facebook and,oh, look at the new car this one has,
(05:08):
and look at the vacation they're on.
Or look at that fancy newwatch or whatever that is.
So maybe for you it's socialmedia, sometimes it's a store.
You're in the store and Isay, oh, I, I gotta have this.
Or maybe it's just a person you're around.
And you're like, okay, gr, thatsounds good, but how do you do it?
Well, unfollow, mute, avoider.
(05:28):
Even if you have to do it for just a week.
Lemme give you some examples.
So let's say that your triggersInstagram stories, you'd love to watch
Instagram 'cause you like to see whatinfluencer are doing, showing those
luxury vacations and it starts to makeyou feel, I, I wish I could do that.
I, I wish I had that option.
I wish I had the money to do that.
That's a trigger for you.
(05:48):
How do you battle that trigger?
Unfollow them or mute thoseaccounts for seven days.
Maybe you mute 'em forever 'cause youdon't need to hear what they have to say.
And then just take a look a couple daysafter that and say, how's my mood now?
Because I think you're gonnafind your mood's gonna change.
How about this?
Maybe you're walking through high-endstores at the mall and as you do
(06:09):
that, I just don't measure up.
Of people feel that I, I'vebeen at the mall before.
I'm like, I'm walking through.
Look, for me, it's alwaysbeen a weight thing.
Always been a little bit too big towear the clothes that you find at the
mall, and that was this comparison.
I, I wish I could wear that.
Obviously that's a trigger for me.
So don't go to the mall.
Avoid that shopping area, evenif you do it just for a week.
(06:32):
And if you're, well, that'sa way to get exercise.
Go for a piece of walking inthe outdoors or visit a library.
Avoid that trigger.
How about this trigger?
Maybe you've got that coworkerwho constantly talks about their
latest purchases, man, everyday around the water cooler.
They're just talking about, I didthis, Ralph and I did that, and I, yes.
Great.
Well, one of the ways you can avoid thatis cut that small talk out together.
(06:54):
Maybe just do it for a week or, orredirect those conversations to topics
that don't stir that comparison.
You're like, okay, Ralph,I can avoid the triggers.
But then you mentioned something afew minutes ago about that envy thing.
'cause honestly, I think that's thebigger part of this, and that is what
do I do when I'm tempted with envy?
(07:15):
I'm gonna give you acouple examples of this.
I mean, basically I want you to justsay, you know, thank God for blessing
them, help them help me rejoice them.
But lemme give you some examples.
So let's say you have a friend and afriend post about buying a new car.
Hey, they got the fancy, you were like,oh wow, I wish I could have that car.
But a friend post aboutthat, he bought a new car.
Here's what I want you to say to yourself.
(07:36):
thank God for blessing them.
You gave them an opportunity andthen help them to celebrate that.
Hey, that's so cool.
That's a cool car.
I'd love to go for a ride in it sometime.
Or maybe you've got this familymember who shares about getting a
raise or a promotion and working.
Man, I'd love to get a raise.
I haven't had a raise in forever.
Promotions.
They don't even do those here.
(07:57):
And maybe at that point you say, God,listen, I trust your timing for me.
I know it's not my timeyet, but Lord, I sure.
Thank you for their breakthrough.
See, I'm, I'm flipping a scripton that envy, or maybe this
one, and I felt this one myself.
Someone shares their weightloss transformation or maybe
they remodeled their home.
(08:17):
You're like, man, I wish Icould lose weight like that.
I wish I could be that skinnier.
I could be that, that, thatit ain't shape and you know, I
wanna compare myself to them.
No, but don't do that.
Just say, Lord, thank you for workingin their life, and Lord, just teach
me to be joyfully present in my own.
So find ways to break thatenvy and then do this.
(08:39):
And this is absolutely critical.
Focus on your unique path.
How do you do that?
Here's what you do.
Write two or threeblessings unique to you.
You know, maybe you have astrong, supportive spouse.
Well, you don't know what thatother person's going through yet.
Maybe they got the brandnew car, but their spouse or
relationship is a nightmare.
Or maybe you have theability to work from home.
(09:00):
You don't even have todeal with the water.
Cool.
And you see everybody else leaving theneighborhood in the morning where you're
like, cool, I can work in my pajamas.
I don't have to go anywhere.
Or maybe you've got a garden.
And that garden just brings you peace.
And then as you reflect, say, Lord, justthank you for this simple, rich life.
I don't wanna trade it for anything.
See, that's how you break that comparison.
You start looking at your blessings.
(09:22):
Maybe look at your skills.
Maybe you're listening to this right now.
You're saying, Ralph, you know whatI've done the things you talked about,
man, I am doing great financially.
Well, there's a blessing.
The Lord has blessed you.
He's given you a second chance aftera financial hardship, and maybe you
have the skills to help other people.
Or maybe your children makeyou laugh every day and just
think about it like this.
(09:42):
God, I see how you've beenfaithful to me, and Lord, help
me to stay focused on the road.
You've marked for me my path.
And now you're probably saying,Ralph, how does this help?
Well, here's what it does.
Obviously it disarms that envy.
That envy is what causes you to staystuck in that cycle of comparison.
It truly reframes your, itreframes your blessings.
(10:06):
And when you do those things,it brings you peace and it
brings you focus on your path.
Well, let's pray together.
Father God, we just thank youfor designing us all uniquely
with our own paths and our ownthings that make us who we are.
And Lord, we confess to you right nowthat we fall into that comparison cycle.
We just do, Lord, it's who we are.
(10:28):
Help us to break free of that, free usfrom that envy Lord, and free us from that
false identity that lies to us and tellsus that we need to be something we're not.
And help us find contentment and helpus to find clarity, Lord, not in stuff.
Not in the stuff at the mall, not atthe stuff online, but in you, Lord.
And help us to celebrate others andhonor our path that we're on, and we
(10:49):
ask this in confidence in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Listen, freedom comes when youstop keeping up with others.
That's when you will truly findfreedom and live fully in God's
unique design for your life.
So filter that comparison, affirmothers, and focus on your purpose.
(11:12):
I'm gonna ask you to dome a favor right now.
If this show, or if this episodehas impacted your life, I want
you to share it with somebody.
Just send them a text, send them anemail and say, Hey, check this out.
Go to financially confident christian.com.
Tell 'em about what thisshow has meant to you.
And while you're there, if you wannaget a copy of my book, I'm gonna
give it to you absolutely free.
(11:33):
It's called Mastering Your Finances.
You get to that by going to financiallyconfident christian.com/master.
It's a short book, but let me just tellyou right now, it is hugely impactful.
Now, tomorrow we're gonna changethis subject a little bit and we're
gonna talk about this question.
How do I define what enough really is?
(11:54):
I don't want you to miss that showbecause we're really gonna talk about
how do I define what enough really is?
Now let's all go out thereand be financially confident.
Christians, you can do this.
I believe in you.
I, I believe in you a hundred percent.
Believe in yourself.
Stay financially savvy.
God bless you, and youhave a great day today.
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Dateline NBC
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Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.