July 5, 2025 • 14 mins
Have you ever come home with a bag full of purchases only to wonder later why you bought them? In this episode of Financially Confident Christian, Ralph uncovers why so many of us get stuck in a cycle of impulse spending, how marketers prey on our emotions, and why our hearts are often searching for something deeper than just “more stuff.” Ralph shares practical and faith-based strategies to help you break free from the patterns that lead to buying things you don't need.
Check out the full podcast episode here
Ralph offers actionable ideas like identifying your spending triggers, creating intentional pause strategies, and even a no-spend challenge to help you reset your habits. You’ll discover how aligning your purchases with your values and anchoring your peace in God’s provision can lead to more freedom, less guilt, and a healthier relationship with money.
Chapters:
- 00:12 - Breaking the Cycle of Materialism
- 01:07 - Understanding Impulse Buying and Its Triggers
- 04:28 - Identifying Impulse Triggers
- 06:44 - Breaking the Cycle of Impulsive Buying
- 11:16 - Breaking the Cycle of Financial Shame
Takeaways:
- Recognize that impulse buying often stems from emotions like boredom or insecurity.
- Understanding your triggers is key to breaking the cycle of unnecessary spending.
- Applying the awareness plus pause equals self-control strategy can help manage spending habits.
- Intentional living means aligning your purchases with your core values and financial goals.
Links:
financiallyconfidentchristian.com/master
WATCH NOW ON YOUTUBE (OUR VIDEO VERSION)
WATCH NOW ON RUMBLE (OUR VIDEO VERSION)
Please share our Podcast with all your friends and family!
Submit your questions or ideas for future shows - email us at
ralph@askralph.com or leave a voicemail message on our podcast page
Buy Ralph's Book - Mastering Your Finances!
Buy Ralph's Book - Gospel of Entrepreneurship: Following Jesus in Your Business Journey
Buy Ralph's Book - How to Become a Financially Confident Christian
Want to be a guest on Financially Confident Christian? Send Ralph Estep, Jr. a message on PodMatch, here:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ralph (00:00):
You ever brought something home, then instantly regretted that purchase.
Or maybe you feel like you're inthis cycle of constantly acquiring
things, but still searching fortrue satisfaction in your life.
Well, what if you could understandthe why behind that and why you
keep buying things you don't need?
And finally, break free from that cycle.
I want you to stick with me today'cause I'm gonna show you exactly how
(00:22):
to make that happen on today's show.
Hey there.
Welcome back to your Daily,financially Confident Christian.
I'm Ralph and it's greatto be with you again.
(00:43):
Today we continue on our pursuit,answering that question of how can I
become a financially confident Christian?
And we're in our series Beyondthe Budget, finding Financial
Freedom through Intentional Living.
And if you've been following along, youknow, so far we've covered contentment.
We talked about gratitude, we talkedabout spending by values, and today
(01:04):
we're gonna answer a more difficultquestion, and that is, why do I
keep buying things I don't need?
I think it's a great question becauseif you're like me, you feel this at
times, maybe you're feeling it rightnow, and think about it like this.
You go for one item at the grocery store.
This is the typical situation, right?
I gotta go in and just grab one thing,but then you come out with five.
(01:27):
Or maybe you're online shopping or you'rewalking through Target or something
and a deal just grabs your attentionand you feel fantastic for the moment,
oh, these shoes are fantastic, or, orthis, sure, oh, I gotta have this shirt.
Then later you just feel regret andyou're stuck in this impulse buy cycle.
(01:50):
And I'm betting right now you'resaying Ralph, that's familiar to
me and boy, that is frustrating.
And in the end All itdoes is adds clutter.
It drains our savings and it brings guilt.
'cause you're working hard, you'reworking so hard, I know you're working
hard, but your money just disappears.
And I'm gonna say something ratherbold right now in my personal view.
(02:11):
The core issue is you'rebuying isn't aligned with your
values or intentional living.
That's really what it comes down to.
So here's the thing, and companies knowhow to manipulate your spending habits.
There are teams of people spendingevery minute to try to figure
out how to make you buy more,how to buy additional things.
(02:32):
And they prey on your emotions.
They prey on them.
That's their job.
They pray on boredom.
Hey, I've got nothing to do.
I'm bored.
They pray on insecurity.
Oh, you gotta have this.
They prey on stress.
And most of the time as we're doing this,we're trying to fill a void, a word.
We're trying to find some momentaryjoy in the tough situations in life.
(02:56):
Look at the book ofEcclesiastes chapter five.
Verse 10 says this, whoeverloves money never has enough.
This too is meaningless.
Let's just park there for a secondand let's, let's, let's dissect this.
Whoever loves money, the loveof money, if that's where your
(03:16):
love is, what does the word say?
You never have enough.
Why is that?
Because you're buying to, so the motionor you're buying to gain approval,
those things will never satisfy you.
So how do you break out of it?
You recognize your triggers becauseonce you recognize your triggers, you're
going to be able to respond wisely.
(03:38):
And listen, this isn't about shame.
This is about living ina sense of stewardship.
That's what this show is all about,and it's choosing intentionality,
that is the big word for this newseries, choosing intentionality.
When you make that choice, it ispowerful and it is absolutely freeing.
So now you're askingRalph, what can we do?
(04:00):
How do you stop buyingwhat you don't need?
And I kind of mentioned it a minuteago, the simple solution is to
identify your impulse triggers andcreate delayed base strategies.
I want you to remember thissimple phrase, awareness.
Plus pause equals self-control.
I'm gonna say that one moretime 'cause it's, you gotta
(04:21):
commit this to memory awareness.
You're aware and you take thatpause that equals self-control.
So here's your one action step for today.
To really get to the point ofbreaking that cycle, I want you
to identify one or two impulsetriggers, and I want you to do this.
I want you to apply this exercise to that.
(04:42):
When you do that, when you start thinkingabout those impulse triggers, think about
where you were and what you were feeling.
Let's talk about some ofthose examples right now.
So let's say it's the end of a day.
You're laying in bed, you're tired,and you're scrolling at night.
Okay?
So where were you?
You were laying in bed after a long day.
You got your phone in hand,okay, you got the picture.
(05:02):
What were you feeling?
Now if you're like many ofus, you're feeling drained.
Been a long day.
This happened, this crisis at work,this crisis with the kids, and you're
just looking for some comfort or you'relooking to just have a minute to escape.
So what's the trigger here?
The trigger here ispretty straightforward.
Emotional fatigue, that's a problem.
(05:24):
Late night scrolling on Instagramor Amazon, there's your trigger.
How about this one?
Maybe you're bored at work.
It's a mid-afternoon.
You're in that mid-afternoon slump.
So where were you?
You're sitting at the desk after asoy afternoon, you had the lunch.
And here like me, three o'clockcomes, you're like, I need a nap.
So let's ask the next question.
How are you feeling?
Well, I'm feeling bored.
(05:45):
I'm feeling tired.
I'm feeling unmotivated.
So what do you do?
You're right there in frontof your computer working.
Let's just say you working a deskjob or you're right there, have your
phone, you're feeling boredom, andyou got easy access to online shopping
during work breaks is a trigger.
This is my final example for today.
That fear of missing outpressure from friends.
(06:08):
Let's say you're in the middle of agroup chat and you're buzzing about a
new sail, or one of your friends hasgot this new pair of jeans or whatever
the cool things are these days, or, ormaybe somebody's going on a weekend trip.
That's where you were.
That's that's where you were, right?
What are you feeling now?
Well, Ralph, I was feeling left out.
I was feeling, I was afraidI was gonna miss something.
What's the trigger there?
(06:29):
Well.
social pressure, right?
And you're afraid you're gonna miss outon something you're wanting to fit in.
So here's the challenge for today.
Real simple.
I want you to just write downyour top one or two triggers.
What are those triggers for you?
Is it that boredom at night?
Is that boredom in the middle afternoon?
Is that fear of missing outand that social pressure?
(06:50):
So now you know your triggers.
Well, here's the antidote to the triggers.
Here's how you reallybreak outta that cycle.
I want you to create asimple rule for yourself.
What I'll call the pause,give you a couple examples.
Let's say that you're shopping online,Amazon, wherever you like to shop.
Maybe you're even on Facebookor some social media.
See these shoes?
You gotta have a $75 pair of shoes online.
(07:14):
But here's your rule.
You're gonna set this rule ahead of time.
You're gonna say, here's the deal.
I am not gonna buy anything tillit sits in a cart for 48 hours.
So what do you do?
You add those shoes to your cart, youset the reminder for four, eight hours,
and then after two days you come backand you realize, guess what, Ralph?
I didn't really need them, and you'reglad you didn't waste that money.
So that's one option.
(07:35):
The four eight hour for you.
Hey, maybe for you, it's a one week rule.
Here's another thing you can do.
That's what I call the three check filter.
So whenever you go to buy something,ask yourself these three questions.
Number one.
Does it align with my values?
We talked a lot about that yesterday.
Is it a value of simplicity?
Is it a value of financial freedombeing outta debt, whatever.
(07:56):
It's ask yourself, doesit align with my values?
Second question, is it in my budget?
Have I already allocated this money?
Is the money in my sames got where it is?
Is it in my budget?
So does it align my values?
Is it in my budget?
Third thing, do you truly need it or isthis just an emotional buying situation?
(08:17):
There we go.
The pause, the three check filter.
I'm gonna throw one more at you 'causeI think this will really be impactful.
A lot of people don't think of this one.
This is Ralph's big pro tip for today.
Make it manual, What is that?
What does Ralph mean by that?
Here's what you want.
I want you to do, go to all your shoppingapp sites and remove your credit cards.
Don't even have 'em on the site.
(08:38):
Why?
'cause I want you to have extraeffort in entering those details,
which is gonna give you space tothink about, do I really need this?
'cause see, it's so easy.
It's easy for me.
Amazon's got three or four ofmy credit cards tied to it.
I can be wherever and just scroll.
Oh, beautiful.
I want that.
Click here, buy now.
That's what they want.
That's what the, that's what the store,that's what the retailers want you to do.
Put a little friction there for yourself.
(08:59):
Make it manual.
And here's a little bonus thing,maybe you wanna do this, have
what I call a no spend challenge.
Maybe pick a Saturday and say, I'mgonna play a game where I'm only
buying essentials on Saturdays.
Gas, groceries, things you have to haveno coffee runs, no browsing Target to
just take a look, just no spend Saturday.
But I'm gonna add a little piece tothat and I'm, giving a couple little
(09:19):
extra things today, but I want you towrite down the urges that you feel.
And at the end of the week, go backand look at those urges and write
down how much money you saved.
Boy, that is going to be impactful to you.
How about we pray together, FatherGod, we just want to thank you for
your provision in our life, Lord.
And we confess, Lord, that we oftenbuy from emotion, we don't do it
(09:40):
with intention, Lord, we don'tput it through that three test.
So Lord, we just ask you right nowto help us spot our triggers, help
us see what those things are andstrengthen that self-control, that
awareness, pause, self-control.
And Lord, just teach us to find joyand teach us to find peace in you,
not in purchases, not in stuff.
(10:01):
And bigger than that, Lord, let us helpour finances reflect your purpose in our
lives, and we ask this in confidence.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Listen to me.
Break the buying cycle bringspeace and it brings freedom.
So know your triggers.
Pause before your purchases and challengeyourself today and listen, if this
(10:23):
show has been impactful to you, if thisspecific episode has made a difference
to you, I wanna encourage you right now,share this episode with someone else.
A lot of people are dealing withfinancial cycles and financial stress
and the shame that goes along with that.
And this show, this particular episode,could really reach out to them.
So send 'em a text and say, Hey,I listened to this guy Ralph.
(10:44):
Here's a link to his website.
It's financially.
Confident christian.com or go rightonto your podcast episode, or maybe
you're watching this on YouTubeand just click share and send it to
somebody that could be impacted by this.
I also wanna give you a free gift.
If you go to my website,again, that's financially
confident christian.com/master.
You get a free copy of my book,it's called Mastering Your Finances.
(11:06):
It's a short read, butit is super impactful.
I'm gonna encourage you to do that again.
That's it.
Financially confidentchristian.com/master.
Now, tomorrow on the show, we'regonna talk about how to stop chasing
what others have and break freefrom that cycle of comparison.
Kind of goes along with whatwe're talking about today.
So I'm gonna encourage you, don't miss it.
Now, let's all go out thereand be financially confident.
(11:29):
Christians, you can do this.
I truly believe in you.
Believe in yourself.
Stay financially savvy.
God bless you, and youhave a great day today.
You ever brought something home, then instantly regretted that purchase.
Or maybe you feel like you're inthis cycle of constantly acquiring
things, but still searching fortrue satisfaction in your life.
Well, what if you could understandthe why behind that and why you
keep buying things you don't need?
And finally, break free from that cycle.
I want you to stick with me today'cause I'm gonna show you exactly how
(00:22):
to make that happen on today's show.
Hey there.
Welcome back to your Daily,financially Confident Christian.
I'm Ralph and it's greatto be with you again.
(00:43):
Today we continue on our pursuit,answering that question of how can I
become a financially confident Christian?
And we're in our series Beyondthe Budget, finding Financial
Freedom through Intentional Living.
And if you've been following along, youknow, so far we've covered contentment.
We talked about gratitude, we talkedabout spending by values, and today
(01:04):
we're gonna answer a more difficultquestion, and that is, why do I
keep buying things I don't need?
I think it's a great question becauseif you're like me, you feel this at
times, maybe you're feeling it rightnow, and think about it like this.
You go for one item at the grocery store.
This is the typical situation, right?
I gotta go in and just grab one thing,but then you come out with five.
(01:27):
Or maybe you're online shopping or you'rewalking through Target or something
and a deal just grabs your attentionand you feel fantastic for the moment,
oh, these shoes are fantastic, or, orthis, sure, oh, I gotta have this shirt.
Then later you just feel regret andyou're stuck in this impulse buy cycle.
(01:50):
And I'm betting right now you'resaying Ralph, that's familiar to
me and boy, that is frustrating.
And in the end All itdoes is adds clutter.
It drains our savings and it brings guilt.
'cause you're working hard, you'reworking so hard, I know you're working
hard, but your money just disappears.
And I'm gonna say something ratherbold right now in my personal view.
(02:11):
The core issue is you'rebuying isn't aligned with your
values or intentional living.
That's really what it comes down to.
So here's the thing, and companies knowhow to manipulate your spending habits.
There are teams of people spendingevery minute to try to figure
out how to make you buy more,how to buy additional things.
(02:32):
And they prey on your emotions.
They prey on them.
That's their job.
They pray on boredom.
Hey, I've got nothing to do.
I'm bored.
They pray on insecurity.
Oh, you gotta have this.
They prey on stress.
And most of the time as we're doing this,we're trying to fill a void, a word.
We're trying to find some momentaryjoy in the tough situations in life.
(02:56):
Look at the book ofEcclesiastes chapter five.
Verse 10 says this, whoeverloves money never has enough.
This too is meaningless.
Let's just park there for a secondand let's, let's, let's dissect this.
Whoever loves money, the loveof money, if that's where your
(03:16):
love is, what does the word say?
You never have enough.
Why is that?
Because you're buying to, so the motionor you're buying to gain approval,
those things will never satisfy you.
So how do you break out of it?
You recognize your triggers becauseonce you recognize your triggers, you're
going to be able to respond wisely.
(03:38):
And listen, this isn't about shame.
This is about living ina sense of stewardship.
That's what this show is all about,and it's choosing intentionality,
that is the big word for this newseries, choosing intentionality.
When you make that choice, it ispowerful and it is absolutely freeing.
So now you're askingRalph, what can we do?
(04:00):
How do you stop buyingwhat you don't need?
And I kind of mentioned it a minuteago, the simple solution is to
identify your impulse triggers andcreate delayed base strategies.
I want you to remember thissimple phrase, awareness.
Plus pause equals self-control.
I'm gonna say that one moretime 'cause it's, you gotta
(04:21):
commit this to memory awareness.
You're aware and you take thatpause that equals self-control.
So here's your one action step for today.
To really get to the point ofbreaking that cycle, I want you
to identify one or two impulsetriggers, and I want you to do this.
I want you to apply this exercise to that.
(04:42):
When you do that, when you start thinkingabout those impulse triggers, think about
where you were and what you were feeling.
Let's talk about some ofthose examples right now.
So let's say it's the end of a day.
You're laying in bed, you're tired,and you're scrolling at night.
Okay?
So where were you?
You were laying in bed after a long day.
You got your phone in hand,okay, you got the picture.
(05:02):
What were you feeling?
Now if you're like many ofus, you're feeling drained.
Been a long day.
This happened, this crisis at work,this crisis with the kids, and you're
just looking for some comfort or you'relooking to just have a minute to escape.
So what's the trigger here?
The trigger here ispretty straightforward.
Emotional fatigue, that's a problem.
(05:24):
Late night scrolling on Instagramor Amazon, there's your trigger.
How about this one?
Maybe you're bored at work.
It's a mid-afternoon.
You're in that mid-afternoon slump.
So where were you?
You're sitting at the desk after asoy afternoon, you had the lunch.
And here like me, three o'clockcomes, you're like, I need a nap.
So let's ask the next question.
How are you feeling?
Well, I'm feeling bored.
(05:45):
I'm feeling tired.
I'm feeling unmotivated.
So what do you do?
You're right there in frontof your computer working.
Let's just say you working a deskjob or you're right there, have your
phone, you're feeling boredom, andyou got easy access to online shopping
during work breaks is a trigger.
This is my final example for today.
That fear of missing outpressure from friends.
(06:08):
Let's say you're in the middle of agroup chat and you're buzzing about a
new sail, or one of your friends hasgot this new pair of jeans or whatever
the cool things are these days, or, ormaybe somebody's going on a weekend trip.
That's where you were.
That's that's where you were, right?
What are you feeling now?
Well, Ralph, I was feeling left out.
I was feeling, I was afraidI was gonna miss something.
What's the trigger there?
(06:29):
Well.
social pressure, right?
And you're afraid you're gonna miss outon something you're wanting to fit in.
So here's the challenge for today.
Real simple.
I want you to just write downyour top one or two triggers.
What are those triggers for you?
Is it that boredom at night?
Is that boredom in the middle afternoon?
Is that fear of missing outand that social pressure?
(06:50):
So now you know your triggers.
Well, here's the antidote to the triggers.
Here's how you reallybreak outta that cycle.
I want you to create asimple rule for yourself.
What I'll call the pause,give you a couple examples.
Let's say that you're shopping online,Amazon, wherever you like to shop.
Maybe you're even on Facebookor some social media.
See these shoes?
You gotta have a $75 pair of shoes online.
(07:14):
But here's your rule.
You're gonna set this rule ahead of time.
You're gonna say, here's the deal.
I am not gonna buy anything tillit sits in a cart for 48 hours.
So what do you do?
You add those shoes to your cart, youset the reminder for four, eight hours,
and then after two days you come backand you realize, guess what, Ralph?
I didn't really need them, and you'reglad you didn't waste that money.
So that's one option.
(07:35):
The four eight hour for you.
Hey, maybe for you, it's a one week rule.
Here's another thing you can do.
That's what I call the three check filter.
So whenever you go to buy something,ask yourself these three questions.
Number one.
Does it align with my values?
We talked a lot about that yesterday.
Is it a value of simplicity?
Is it a value of financial freedombeing outta debt, whatever.
(07:56):
It's ask yourself, doesit align with my values?
Second question, is it in my budget?
Have I already allocated this money?
Is the money in my sames got where it is?
Is it in my budget?
So does it align my values?
Is it in my budget?
Third thing, do you truly need it or isthis just an emotional buying situation?
(08:17):
There we go.
The pause, the three check filter.
I'm gonna throw one more at you 'causeI think this will really be impactful.
A lot of people don't think of this one.
This is Ralph's big pro tip for today.
Make it manual, What is that?
What does Ralph mean by that?
Here's what you want.
I want you to do, go to all your shoppingapp sites and remove your credit cards.
Don't even have 'em on the site.
(08:38):
Why?
'cause I want you to have extraeffort in entering those details,
which is gonna give you space tothink about, do I really need this?
'cause see, it's so easy.
It's easy for me.
Amazon's got three or four ofmy credit cards tied to it.
I can be wherever and just scroll.
Oh, beautiful.
I want that.
Click here, buy now.
That's what they want.
That's what the, that's what the store,that's what the retailers want you to do.
Put a little friction there for yourself.
(08:59):
Make it manual.
And here's a little bonus thing,maybe you wanna do this, have
what I call a no spend challenge.
Maybe pick a Saturday and say, I'mgonna play a game where I'm only
buying essentials on Saturdays.
Gas, groceries, things you have to haveno coffee runs, no browsing Target to
just take a look, just no spend Saturday.
But I'm gonna add a little piece tothat and I'm, giving a couple little
(09:19):
extra things today, but I want you towrite down the urges that you feel.
And at the end of the week, go backand look at those urges and write
down how much money you saved.
Boy, that is going to be impactful to you.
How about we pray together, FatherGod, we just want to thank you for
your provision in our life, Lord.
And we confess, Lord, that we oftenbuy from emotion, we don't do it
(09:40):
with intention, Lord, we don'tput it through that three test.
So Lord, we just ask you right nowto help us spot our triggers, help
us see what those things are andstrengthen that self-control, that
awareness, pause, self-control.
And Lord, just teach us to find joyand teach us to find peace in you,
not in purchases, not in stuff.
(10:01):
And bigger than that, Lord, let us helpour finances reflect your purpose in our
lives, and we ask this in confidence.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Listen to me.
Break the buying cycle bringspeace and it brings freedom.
So know your triggers.
Pause before your purchases and challengeyourself today and listen, if this
(10:23):
show has been impactful to you, if thisspecific episode has made a difference
to you, I wanna encourage you right now,share this episode with someone else.
A lot of people are dealing withfinancial cycles and financial stress
and the shame that goes along with that.
And this show, this particular episode,could really reach out to them.
So send 'em a text and say, Hey,I listened to this guy Ralph.
(10:44):
Here's a link to his website.
It's financially.
Confident christian.com or go rightonto your podcast episode, or maybe
you're watching this on YouTubeand just click share and send it to
somebody that could be impacted by this.
I also wanna give you a free gift.
If you go to my website,again, that's financially
confident christian.com/master.
You get a free copy of my book,it's called Mastering Your Finances.
(11:06):
It's a short read, butit is super impactful.
I'm gonna encourage you to do that again.
That's it.
Financially confidentchristian.com/master.
Now, tomorrow on the show, we'regonna talk about how to stop chasing
what others have and break freefrom that cycle of comparison.
Kind of goes along with whatwe're talking about today.
So I'm gonna encourage you, don't miss it.
Now, let's all go out thereand be financially confident.
(11:29):
Christians, you can do this.
I truly believe in you.
Believe in yourself.
Stay financially savvy.
God bless you, and youhave a great day today.
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