Why Do the Holidays Leave Me Feeling So Empty?

Holidays can be a real stress-fest, right? Like, did you know that 9 out of 10 Americans feel the holiday pressure? And it’s not just about the gifts and food; a whopping 40% say their stress levels skyrocket during this time. Why Do the Holidays Leave Me Feeling So Empty? We’re chatting about how to keep your mental health in check, so you don’t end up feeling like a hot mess. We’ll dive into setting those all-important emotional boundaries and budgeting for peace, because let’s face it, you can’t give what you don’t have. So grab a comfy seat, kick back, and let’s tackle how to keep the holiday spirit alive without losing our minds!

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Holidays can be a mixed bag, right? While we're all about that festive cheer, it turns out that for a whopping 90% of Americans, the holiday season brings a heap of stress. Seriously, 40% of folks are juggling mental health issues that flare up right when they should be spreading joy. Ralph dives into this reality, dropping some truth bombs about how we budget for gifts and food but totally forget to set aside some emotional energy. He shares a personal story about how overcommitting during the holidays led to family chaos, and how he and his wife set boundaries to protect their peace. With a mix of humor and heartfelt advice, Ralph emphasizes the importance of intentionally carving out time for rest and choosing calm amidst the holiday hustle. He wraps it all up with a call to action: block off a 'peace night' on your calendar and prioritize your mental health this season. Remember, a rested heart gives better gifts than a rushed one!

Takeaways:

• The holidays can be super stressful, with 79% of people neglecting their health during this time.
• You gotta protect your peace intentionally, just like you budget for gifts and food.
• Scheduling rest is crucial; treat it like an important appointment you can't miss.
• Recognizing emotional spending is key; every yes comes with a hidden cost to your peace.
• Setting healthy boundaries can actually enhance your love for yourself and your family.
• Using faith as a fuel during the holidays helps center you back to what truly matters.

Links referenced in this episode:

• financiallyconfidentchristian.com
• financiallyconfidentchristian.com/support

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Episode Transcript

(00:28):
Are the holidays stressful foryou? I know they're stressful for
so many of us. Listen to this.9 in 10Americans feel stressed during
the holidays with 4 in 10.Listen to this. 40% say their stress
is higher than in any othertime during the year. This is supposed
to be a joyous season. Andnearly 2/3 of people with existing
mental health conditions saytheir symptoms worsen during the

(00:48):
holiday season. I mentionedthis the other day. 63% of Americans
say the holidays are morestressful than tax season. Again,
I don't know if I believethat, but fair enough. And 79% of
this admit that they neglecttheir own health during this time
of year. And one third ofadults say their mental health actually
declines between November andJanuary. It just proves what I've

(01:11):
been talking about today. Theemotional toll is real. Which leads
me to today's listenerquestion. Ralph, I feel like the
holidays drain me emotionallyand financially. Every year I make
a money budget, but how do Iset a mental health budget too? What
a great question. Truth is, webudget for gifts, we budget for food,
and we budget for travel. Buthow often do we budget for peace?

(01:35):
Because your emotional energyis just as valuable as your money.
Well, let's talk on today'sshow about maintaining our mental
health during the holidays.I've got some answers on today's
show. Let's protect our mentalhealth this Christmas. This is Financially
Confident Christian, yourdaily dose of gospel, grounded insight
and faith driven tips to helpyou break the cycle of financial

(01:57):
shame with confidence. Welcometo the show. I'm Ralph. I want to
just thank you so much forjoining me as I help you break that
cycle of financial shame withconfidence. We're continuing our
series of find enjoy in theHolidays without going Broke. And
listen, I've worked for yearscounseling clients who plan their
finances. They do a great jobon that. They've got great spreadsheets,

(02:20):
they've got great budgets,they've got great intentions. But
they ignore their stress untilit overwhelms them. And listen, I've
had to learn that myself. Yougot to learn something right now.
This is Ralph's big takeawayfor today. Peace doesn't happen by
accident. It's something thatyou've got to protect intentionally.
Just like I talk on the showabout an intentional spending plan,

(02:41):
peace is something you have toprotect intentionally. And I want
to share a story today.Remember when my kids were real young,
my kids were, I'm talkingabout toddler age and everyone expected
us to run these kids all overthe place on Christmas we had to
go see the grandparents andthe other grandparents and the aunts
and the uncles and thecousins, and it became crazy. And
listen, I bought into it. Iwas like, oh, show off my little

(03:04):
babies, and we're going tohave a great time. We got them dressed
up in their cute little suitsand their special Christmas outfits,
and, man, by the time we gotto about halfway through the day,
the kids were worn out. Theywere crying, they were screaming,
they were caring. My wife andI, we're sitting there bickering
at each other. What adestructive holiday season. And I
said, we got to stop this. Wecan't continue this. And my wife

(03:25):
and I sat down that Christmasnight. I'll never forget it. We were
emotionally drained. The kidshad fallen asleep on the couch. I
mean, there was drool comingout of the sides of their mouth.
There was toys everywhere,mess everywhere, and all of us were
just worn out. And I said, wegot to stop doing this. And my wife
said, here's what we're goingto do from now on, Ralph. These kids
are staying home all dayChristmas. If somebody wants to come
and visit, they come see us.And we've done that ever since. And

(03:48):
now my kids are 24 and 28. Wedon't have that little going around
everywhere thing. But, man, itmade an amazing change in the family
dynamic. And I love what BreneBrown said. Daring to set boundaries
is about having the courage tolove ourselves, even when we risk
disappointing others. Andthat's what I was so worried about.
I was so worried aboutdisappointing my mother and my father

(04:09):
and her parents and the auntsand the uncles. But listen, those
boundaries help us loveourselves and love our children.
My wife really had to say,ralph, stop doing this. You're running
the kids. Drag it. So let'sget to our question today, and this
is so critical. How do I sethealthy emotional boundaries during
the holidays? I'm going totell you how I think you can do it.
Number one thing, you've gotto recognize that peace is valuable.

(04:31):
I want to say something reallybold here. You can't give what you
don't have. And if you'vegiven up all your mental energy,
you're never going to be ableto give it to somebody else. That
mental energy honors both Godand others. Think about my story.
My wife got upset. We werenearly screaming at each other because
we were trying to runourselves ragged. We're trying to
do too much. We have torecognize that peace is valuable.

(04:54):
Your peace is valuable. Don'tgive it up. Protect it. That's where
you honor God. Another thing.Schedule, rest. You've got to do
this like I'm one of thesepeople. Like I'm type A. I'm going
and going and going. And as Iget a little bit older, I've got
to realize that I've got toschedule downtime. I got to just
decide, you know, what I'llput on my calendar. It's an appointment

(05:14):
that I don't cancel. It's likea doctor's appointment. When I see
a doctor's appointment on mycalendar, I'm going to make sure
I'm there. Or if I've got aclient coming in, I'm going to make
sure I'm there. I encourageyou, do the same thing with rest.
Put it on your calendar. Thisis going to be my rest time. Another
thing. Understand youremotional spending. Because every
yes that you say, every timeyou volunteer for something, every

(05:36):
time you agree to dosomething, it cost you. It cost you
time, it costs you energy, andlisten, it cost you peace. So decide
to spend those things wildly.Be intentional about it. Because
when you say yes to something,you're saying no to something else.
And maybe you didn't want tosay no to something else. Which leads
me to this. Intentionallychoose calm. Here's the truth. You

(05:59):
can't control the sea in thischaos. It's going to happen around
you. The noise of Christmas isgoing to happen, but you can choose
how you show up for it. One ofthe things I learned. Listen, I've
been many years of counseling.I was a wreck when I was a younger
person, and I went throughmany years of counseling. And the
counselor would always say tome, ralph, you can't control everyone
around you, but you cancontrol how you respond to that.

(06:20):
You can control how you showup. But what that means is I got
to plan accordingly. Sointentionally choose that calm, choose
that rest. Pick and choosewhat you're going to do. And last
but not least, use faith asyour fuel. I want to really lean
into this for a second.Because there's so much fuel in your
faith. Prayer, readingscripture, just those quiet moments.

(06:42):
I think sometimes we losesight of that. I love this verse,
when the Bible says, be stilland know that I am God. But what
is he really saying to us? Bestill. It helps you find that emotional
balance. You can't buy thatthere's no peace. You're not going
to get a massage, you're notgoing to get a facial, anything that's
going to lead to that peace.When you just quiet and listen for

(07:04):
God to speak to you. It helpsyou get back to centering on the
point of what the holidayseason really is. And that's the
birth of Christ and the giftthat we will never have the ability
to overcome. That is thegreatest gift of all time. Which
leads me to our Bible versetoday. And it comes to us From Matthew,
chapter 11, verse 28. Again,Matthew 11:28. Come to me, all you

(07:25):
who are weary and burdened,and I will give you rest. I just
love this scripture. Whenyou're having a rough day, write
this on your heart. Write itdown somewhere where you see, because
even God recognized this inhis perfect creation of man. He recognized
that we needed rest. So cometo me, come to the Lord, all you
are weary and burdened, and Iwill give you rest. How about we

(07:47):
pray together? We need prayerstoday. Lord, help us to set healthy
boundaries without feelingthat guilt and anxiety. And I feel
like we're letting peopledown. And Lord, remind us that peace
is worth protecting. It's thatpeace that you want us to look to
you, Lord, and to listen foryour quiet voice. So, Lord, teach
me to slow down during thisholiday season. Teach me to rest

(08:07):
in your presence and not feellike I've got to keep running and
running, Lord, help me to beintentional in my emotional spending,
Lord. And we ask this in thename of Jesus, Amen. So here's my
action item for today. I wantyou to really look at your calendar.
I want you to block off onepeace night this week. Do it right
now. Don't wait. Don't waitfor the next week. Do it right now.
I want you to block it off onenight a week. Your peace calendar.

(08:30):
Put it on the calendar. Thisis the time when there's no events,
no phone, no pressure. Putthat phone away. You can take a few
minutes without your phone.The world's not going to come to
an end. Just rest. And whileyou're doing that, plan accordingly
throughout the holidays. Lookat your calendar right now for the
next 45 days and say, you knowwhat? I'm going to plan this and
I'm going to plan. Take a lookat what you've already committed

(08:51):
to and say, you know, do Ineed to do all these things? You
don't have to do them all.Remember, no events, no phone, no
pressure. Just listen for thatstillness and listen to God to talk
to you. One of the things I'mgoing to ask you to do right now
for me is support the show.We're really trying to grow the show.
We're trying to reach others.We're trying to advertise. We're
trying to get on more channelsand more markets. And listen, this

(09:12):
show can impact the world, butI really need your help. You can
help the show by going tofinanciallyconfidentchristian.com support.
Right there. You can buy me acoffee. Now. Listen, I need. I don't
even drink coffee. I drinktea. It's a virtual thing. But with
those dollars that come in, mygoal is to reach others, to advertise
in the new markets, to go outthere and win the world for Christ.
So if you can support me, Iwould truly appreciate it. It's simple.

(09:35):
It doesn't have to be a lot ofmoney. But help us by going to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/support.
Your support means the worldto me because you're a partner in
this. And remember this, theholidays can drain more than you
want. I was laughing as wewere preparing for today's show.
He said, what drains youduring the holidays? Said you're
emotional and you're moneybecause you're. But the holidays
shouldn't drain you more thanyour wallet. Mental energy is a real

(09:58):
resource, and you got tochoose to spend it wisely. Be intentional
about it. Set up thoseboundaries. Because those boundaries
protect your joy and yourfaith. Because remember this, a rested
heart gives better gifts thana rushed one. I'm going to encourage
you today. Go be a financiallyconfident Christian. Go be rested.
Go be calm. Stay financiallysavvy. God bless you. And you have

(10:19):
a great day today.