154 - Pandemic Fugitive, Neighborhood Narcs, Disrobed Defender, and Bank Burritos - Florida Men

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Warning, we're probably going to saythe F word on this show, fuck,
and the S word shit, andthe B word bitch, and even
maybe the C word coronavirus. Listenerdiscretion is advised. Coming to you from
America's Quarantine Wang. That's gross.This is Florida Man, the podcast for

(00:24):
Tuesday, April the twenty twenty.That's what it feels like. Each week
we bring you stories from the shadyside of the Sunshine State, starring America's
most prolific criminal, Florida Man,and coming up this weekend, episode one
fifty four, Florida Man gets reallycasual when working from home. Florida Man
can't tell the difference between Chapoulta andCity Bank, Quarantine is making Florida Man

(00:47):
narc on his neighbors, and FloridaMan tries to scirre off the cops with
a pen and paper, plus aFlorida Man food fight fill in the blank
listener, email and email and muchmuch more. Oh, Joel, Joel,
Joel. So this is what ourfourth, third or fourth one we've
had to do in separate. Ikind of miss you in the studio,

(01:08):
Man. I ain't gonna lie.We're doing this remote again. Yeah,
you're the I don't miss the air. I do miss the air conditioning in
the regular studio. The he shedis a little warm, a little little
little toasty. Yeah. I gotmy dow rag on to catch up all
the stop up, all the Yeah, we didn't play in those last week.

(01:29):
Yeah, we didn't plan those.But you're sporting the green dow rag
and I'm sporting the red du rag. So we kind of look Christmas ee
here for Florida. Yep. Oh, So what's your beverage of choice tonight,
Joel? Water crystal light, rapewith caffeine. Uh huh, yeah,
I've got an I'm not doing vodkato night. I got a little
uh gotta look cold beer. Yeah, yeah, I ran out. We

(01:52):
had Uh. I haven't been backto the story yet. I didn't break
myself last night, but I cameclose. I had decided to have a
picnic on the back patio. Yeah, how'd that go? Good? Had
a good time? Cool. Oh, let's see what else happened this week,
Joel. Since we've recorded our lastone on Monday and now this is
Wednesday, I don't have a wholelot to report over the last two days

(02:14):
here at the at the studio.So, um, we may just need
to get into the Yeah, wegot a couple of long stories this week,
so all right, we'll just getit right in. Cut to the
chase. All right, Store numberone comes to us from the Palm Beach
Post. Two Florida men charged withdui at the same time for driving the

(02:37):
same vehicle that takes talent. Thatis talent. Oh this Palm Beach Gardens
police got a call about a recklessdriver around eleven thirty pm a Wednesday.
When an officer arrived, they foundAlfredo Lopez Chash chosh Cho Choge, age

(03:00):
twenty four, behind the wheel ofa running blue Nissan SUV near the Paloma
Palomoma No Paloma right the first Alomaneighborhood, not far from Central Boulevard and
Interstate Interstate ninety five, according tothe police reports, but by the time
the officer got to the vehicle,Alfredo was standing outside the suv. The
report said, his brother, MartinLopez Chosh age twenty, then slid from

(03:23):
the past in your seat to thedriver's seat and tried to put the car
in reverse an attempt to flee,but the officer pulled him out. The
report stated by law, not agood not a good move by law.
Police say a person is considered drivingif he or she is in any way
control of a running vehicle, evenif it's not moving. And actually,

(03:45):
technically, I think i've heard,and I'm sure ours listeners will correct me,
But if you have the keys inthe vehicle and you're sitting in the
driver's seat, you are considered driving. Really so yeah, So if you
had a few two men and youwant to sleep it off, don't do
it in the driver's seat with thekeys in the car. Throw the keys
on the ground underneath the car andthey can't get you for driving. Or

(04:09):
you could just sit in the passengerseat, Joel and put the keys in
your pat Oh, even if thecars are still in it, or even
if the keys are still in it, even if you're in the passenger seat,
if you're the only one in thevehicle. Oh yeah, all right.
The report went into detail. ButI could be completely wrong. Both
men. The report went into detailabout both men smelling of alcohol and showing
signs of impairment both It had notedwait, I'm sorry, I just must

(04:31):
screen just went why are The reportwent into detail about both men smelling of
alcohol and showing signs of impairment both. It also noted head with their pants.
It pissed them. After, youknow, little brothers always got to
take after the big brother. Ifbig brother does something stupid, little brother's
gonna jump right into it too.After each was interesting that they smelled the

(04:56):
alcohol over the year. Yeah,they didn't. They didn't. They skipped
they that didn't. Yeah. Aftereach was given a filled sobriety tests,
Martin agreed to a breath test anda sampling was recorded at zero point two
one, more than two and ahalf times the point zero eighth threshold to
be impaired while driving. Alfredo refusedthe test, which triggers an automatic license

(05:16):
suspension of a year. Police saidneither man had a valid driver's license,
so Alfredo did the right thing,which is, yeah, sure, go
ahead and suspend my license. Iain't got one. Police said that because
of the men's conditions, officers weren'tunable to determine how they might have been
related. Both men live a blockapart from each other in Juniper. They

(05:39):
were booked early Thursday morning at thePalm Beach County Jail. Alfredo left hours
later on his own recognisance. Martinremained in jail until midday Friday on a
four thousand dollars bond. Alfredo LopezShaws is charged with DUI and driving without
a license. Martin Lopez Shaws thechart of a dui, dui over zero
point one five and driving without alife. So they got him for drunk

(06:00):
driving and really drunk, really drunkdriving. The two men, natives of
Guatemala, are landscapers. The reportsaid phone numbers were listed for each on
reports, which at least they didn'tput that in here. Alfredo's was disconnected
and Martin had no voicemailbox. Bothmen are represented now they gotta call him
out for having his I know theywon't disconnected. Both men are represented by

(06:21):
the Bomb County. Do you reallythink that was their phone number? Two,
by the way, was represented bythe Palm Palm Beach County Public Defender's
Office, which does not comment onactive cases. So yes, for the
first time, we have had twopeople get arrested for DUI out of one
vehicle. And all all dumbass hadto do was just stay sitting in the
driver's seat or the passenger seat andhe would have been fine. Yeah,

(06:44):
but now he's the one that's stillin jail on a four thousand dollar bond
because he actually blew into the Yeah, the breathalyzer. Oh boy, little
brothers are dumb. Story number twoFlorida man shows up shirtless to a court

(07:06):
hearing via zoom. This one comesto us from ZDNet dot com. Working
from home requires a different sort ofpersonal discipline and the hope that your dog
won't bark at the wrong moment.It seems, though, that some professions
have adjusted better than others. InFlorida, for example, there's a worrying
phenomenon. Some lawyers appear to betaking liberties during zoom court hearings. Indeed,

(07:30):
things have become so difficult that BrowardCounty Judge Dennis Bailey felt compelled to
make an announcement on the Weston BarAssociation website. He observed, quote,
the judges would appreciate if the lawyersand their clients keep in mind these zoom
hearings are just that hearings. Theyare not casual phone conversations. Unquote.
It's easy to confuse working from homefor a very casual Friday. This,

(07:55):
though, seems to have reached troublingproportions, said Bailey, It's remarkable,
well how many attorneys and he wroteattorneys in all caps appear inappropriately on camera.
We've seen many lawyers in casual shirtsand blouses with no concern for ill
grooming in bedrooms with the master bedin the background. But then there's the
naked flouting of dequorum quote one malelawyer appeared shirtless and one female attorney appeared

(08:20):
still in bed, still under thecovers and putting on a beach cover up
won't cover up your pool side ina bathing suit. These are lawyers.
How fuck are you if your lawyershows up on your zoom hearing without a
shirt, on a bed or inbed. Yeah, still under the covers.

(08:41):
Ah. One has to wonder,however, just how some of these
lawyers thought they were representing their clientsto the best of their abilities. They
are surely certain basics there are Thereare surely certain basics one should observe when
lawyering. It's not as if zoomcourt appearances are straightforward, as Bailey explained,
quote, zoom hearings take more timethan in hearings due to lag time

(09:01):
and audio capacity coming online and peopletalking over each other. Which challenges the
responsibility to make contemporaneous objections. Thejudge insists there are limits on zoom.
Quote, I, for one,will not conduct a two week a two
week expert laden hotly contested trial viazoom. I will reschedule that one for
late summer or early fall, ifwe're lucky unquote. It seems though,

(09:24):
that the shirtless lawyer, the disheveledlawyers, and the lawyer who can't bother
to get out of bed don't worrybecause they're still making money. I fear
the judge realizes this, for hislast line to the Bar Association is,
quote, please stay safe and healthyand lucrative unquote lucrative, so he knows
they're they're still making money. Wow. Yeah, you're kind of screwed if

(09:45):
you're. If you're you know,you're putting your you're could be your life
in the hands that you know you'rewhether you're gonna me in jail or not
on somebody And yes, thank you, even she gotta he or she's got
a beach cover up on at thepool, Yeah, you're on. Or
my client, yeah, which youknow, the guy shows up with no
shirt on? Which one's the lawyer? Which one's the defendant. Story number

(10:11):
three comes to us from the TampaBay from Tampa Bay dot com. Stay
at home order turns Florida man intoa rat. Not literally, not literally,
but we're talking like a rat,like a like a snitch, snitch.
That's what I'm looking for, amissus Kravitz, if you will.
People made hundreds of calls to lawenforcement agencies across Tampa Bay over the past

(10:33):
two weeks to complain about neighbors notfollowing stay at home orders, or at
least as they saw it. Igot a lot of neighbors that are doing
that really, Oh yeah, justhanging out, people driving back and forth
on the golf carts from one houseto the other. Just yeah, there's
a karaoke party in the garage acrossthe street from me, like three,

(10:54):
three, maybe four nights a week. Often the officers arrived to find nothing
enforceable going on. Sometimes the offendershad already left, and sometimes there was
no offense to begin with. Othertimes they found clear violations. Explain,
explain the issues, and people listened. Very few got more than a warning.
In Penella in Penellas County, forinstance, Sheriff Bob Gualatari Gulataraltieri,

(11:20):
what Gualtieri. Gualtieri. We justgonna call him. Sheriff Bob said last
week that a rest in general areway down. What is clear is that
people across Tampa Bay are watching eachother in ways that range from vigilant to
possibly obsessive. Among the one hundredand eighty four non compliance complaints the Hillsbury
count of Sheriff's office received in Marchtwenty seventh through April to fifth were reports

(11:43):
of weddings, Sandlott football games,and pool parties at apartment COMPLEXUS with dozens
of people. Residents called about churchservices with ten worshippers and others with more
than fifty. Ten is the limit, though you can't go more than ten
people. Someone called because they sawfifty motorcycles gathered near a McDonald's, but

(12:05):
also because there were three cars theydidn't recognize in a neighbor's driveway. They
called it because that's a little much. Yeah. They call it because a
friend quote checked in on Facebook ata nightclub on Gun Highway, And,
according to a summary of one callto the Hillsbury Sheriff, because of a
neighbor walking around outside and not followingquarantine while roommates post nude pics at closed

(12:28):
state parks. Unquote, why areyou calling the cops on the nude picks
unless he's ugly and harry? Theycall the police on homeless men standing outside
of mobile in Gibbs mobile gas station, I guess right in Gibsonton. And
because they saw people shake hands atpetrol mart in. You've had this one

(12:48):
before, than oh tosasa dona tsasa? Sure someone, I've only seen it
written down, I've never heard it. So this is killing me tonight.
Would you like to be in kindergarten? Have to learn how to write your
city? That you know? Someonecalled the cops on a Michael's craft store
for being open, and on employeesat a jewelry store in Dale Mabury,

(13:11):
Maybury for not standing six feet apart. Someone called about a lone man selling
flowers on the side of the road. Come on, he's got He's gotta
make his money somehow, and anothersaid that a neighbor had opened his home
gym up to the neighborhood. Let'sjust being a good neighbor. Hillsbury County
deputies arrived at a house in theLake Magdalene area Friday to find a crowd

(13:31):
of fifteen people gathered around a wrestlingring in the front yard. Some were
wearing costumes. Was whole Hogan there? Oh no, he's he lives up
in Tampa. Oh, he's gotto be those the Mexican Yeah, yeah,
that's awesome. The deputies is playing, explained Florida Stay at Home Order,

(13:52):
and the crowd dispersed apparently before themain event. Well, Hale,
but it was you see him dosome moves in the front yard. I
know, the deputy, but itwas more of the elbow off the culvert,
a DDT from the from the sideof the roof. Yeah, but

(14:13):
it was more than a law enforcementPeople sent tips to the Tampa Bay Times
about people playing basketball, oh themanatee, and what they thought were too
many people at a boat ramp.People took pictures of pick a ball games
in Saint Petersburg parks and peering throughthe bushes in Gulfport to snap a covert
photo of their neighbors visitors. Thatis way too fucking much. If you're

(14:37):
in bushes taking pictures of your neighbor, you're the one that should get the
cops called on you. That's messedup. That is messed up. They
took. They took myriad photos ofpeople walking Bay Shore Boulevard in Tampa.
One book can be out walking aroundOne Saint I know one Saint. Pete
Man posted a night vision security videoon YouTube of what appeared to be three

(15:01):
teenage girls playfully cutting through his backyard. He noted they were not social distancing.
Well, if they're sisters and theylived together, they don't have to.
The image appeared in neighborhood facebook groups, on Twitter, and on next
door. The captions ranged from friendlycalls to please be safe to full on
shaming and name calling. When thecommentators debated, sometimes over hours that stretched

(15:26):
into days. Other others posted hashtagslike stay the hashtags stay the F home,
you can, you can say fuckon this show? Oh yeah,
and stay home idiots over and over. In a Facebook group for Gulfport residents,
one member photos shopped a Swastika flagonto the cute pastel bungalow of another

(15:48):
resident. They were trying to comparepeople telling on their neighbors for poor social
distancing habits to those who turned intheir neighbors in the Gestapo during Old World
War Two. Quote when people arein fight or flight. How interesting is
it? How interesting that we eachbecome the enemy and the virus the weapon

(16:10):
unquote, says An Wit, alicensed mental health counselor and doctor in health
philosophy and psychology sorry in Tampa.She specializes in anxiety related disorders. We
said, while those neighbors shaming behaviorsmight provide a feel good dopamine hit in
the moment and an immediate sense ofperceived control, they may do more harm
than good. I like a feelgood dopamine hit every once in a while.

(16:33):
I know it would be the samequote, It would be the same.
If someone feels better by having fivedrinks after work, she said,
it might make them feel better fora while, but it's maldactive, adaptive,
it's not sustainable. But they feeljustified because in their mind they're going
to save everyone on the block.We'd acknowledge there's a fine line and people

(16:53):
shouldn't be discouraged from calling the policeabout serious violations. She suggested people check
in with themselves and see if they'rereacting on a fear based level. Quote.
I'd maybe ask myself the following.If I look at three feet around
me, which is all I cancontrol. Is there anything threatening my ability

(17:14):
right the second to protect myself orwhat's the likelihood that what they're doing could
hurt me at this moment. Ifthe answer is nothing, maybe I should
step away. And if I windyour own fucking business. If I wait
two hours and another five people haveshown up, then maybe I can respond
and ask the police. Is thisokay? That is crazy? People got
nothing to do except tattletale on otherpeople. I know, those are the

(17:37):
Those are the assholes that in classand the teacher forgot to pass out homework.
Raise their hand, tea chair,tea chair? Do we have homework
tonight? Shut the fuck up,asshole. All this is Kravitz. That's
what I always compare them. Youknow what I'm talking about. I know
I've heard witched, the neighbor ladywho always sees Samantha, you know,

(17:59):
doing the witchy stuff, but nobodyever believes her. All right, now,
it's time for the Florida Man,and this week our Florida Man food
fight comes to us from ABC Actionnewsdot Com. Florida man arrested for dui
after ordering a burrito at a bankdrive through. Yeah yeah, Taco bell

(18:27):
doesn't have six lanes. Buddy Tampaman was arrested on Wednesday afternoon for DUI
after he reportedly mistook a bank drivethrough for Taco Bell. According to the
Hernando County Sheriff's Office, the managerof Bank of America on Mariner Boulevard called
to report an impaired driver after hefound an unconscious man behind the wheel of

(18:47):
a blue sedan and the bank's drivethrough link. The manager told deputies that
after beating on the car window forsome time, he was able to wake
up the driver. Upon waking up, the driver asked the bank manager for
a burrito before driving away after beinginformed he was not at Taco Bell.
When deputies arrived, they found theblue sedan in the parking lot. The
driver, Douglas Francisco, age twentyeight, was still in the driver's seat

(19:11):
with the car running. The managerof the bank confirmed that Francisco was the
same driver who he had called about. According to the arrest report, Francisco
made several unusual statements. Deputies alsonoted that he had delayed reactions to their
questions, as well as slowed downmovements consistent with someone under the influence of
prescription narcotics. Now, how canthey tell it he's under the influence of

(19:33):
prescriptions except for after this next sentence. After Francisco failed a series of field
sobriety exercises, he was placed underarrest, and the arrest report states that
he had oxycodone and xanex on him, both of which he was prescribed.
But you can't tell that he's underthe influence of prescription narcotics. You can
just tell that he's under the influenceof narcotics. The prescription is paperwork.

(19:56):
You can't tell that anyway. Hewas transported the Hernando County Jail on a
thousand dollars bond. That's badass.Try to order a burrito bake of America.
I could go for a burrito rightnow. Burrito sounds good. It's
been a while since I've had aburrito. Oh that is classic. Oh

(20:17):
that's cool. I remember that one. Yeah, that's that's classic. Florida
man. Are you ready to fillin the blank? All right, I
got it. Here's your story thisweek. Fill in the blank. Florida
man selling protective masks made from blankhair and knits incorrect, panties incorrect shit,

(20:41):
sure it's not hair knits. I'msure. I mean, there may
be somebody made selling them from hairnuts, but this is not this story
from um hair and nuts made fromhemp. Hemp incorrect. I'll give you
one more and think of your yourgo to answer, but make it just
slightly more plausible. Florida alligator scan. You know what, I'm gonna give

(21:02):
it to you because he is sellingalligator ones as well. But the headline
was python skin or yeah, burmesepython skin. Protective facial masks are becoming
Would you give an anaconda? Iwould have given you anaconda. God.
Protective facial masks are becoming a fashionstatement across the nation during the coronavirus pandemic.

(21:25):
But because it's Florida, one manis using python skin. Brian Wood,
owner of All American Gator Products,and Daniel Beach is creating decorative mask
coverings from the skin of the Burmesepython, the infamous invasive species wreaking havoc
on native wildlife in the Florida Everglades. Quote. People are going to have
to cover their faces, and unfortunatelythe situation may last longer than we imagined.

(21:48):
Unquote, said Wood, owner ofAll American Gator Products. Quote.
Some people want to make a fashionstatement even during this pandemic, so I
want to give them options. Youcan't breathe through Burmese python skin, can
you know? You can't. Buthere's here's the good good thing. The
python skin itself doesn't provide protection,but his mask allows for a filter or
aligning to be inserted and removed.He said he's in talks with suppliers of

(22:11):
filters and is considering using cloth becausesurgical grade materials are scarce and in high
demand by medical professionals. He saidthat some masks may come with filtration system
like the N ninety five mask,which blocks very small airborne particles and currently
is advised for use only by medicalprofessionals treating patients with COVID nineteen, the
respiratory disease caused by the novel coronavirus. The Python masks will be made with

(22:33):
holes framed by black, silver orgold metal rings, which will add a
hint of luxury to the items.Fancy maybe put some rinestones on. I
might get one to get some rinstones on it. They will probably be
secured with a band with a velcroclosure and will come in different colors and
finishes. A metal noseclamp will helpensure a good fit, would said ouch

(22:53):
his Facebook page. Prices are ninetydollars for Python or lizard and one hundred
and twenty dollars for alligator. Butthey're reusable. You can put a new
filter in it. Luxury, luxury, you gotta pay for I gotta look
that up. In line with recentguidance from the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention, more and more people arewearing masks in public settings. On social

(23:17):
media, many people are making fashionstatements with colorful handmade face coverings with original
prints and even embroidery. YouTube,Facebook and other social media are teaming with
DIY videos on how to make clothmasks, allowing for some self expression during
the pandemic. Are you do youhave any of the custom made mastery you
just put the do rag over theface when you go out to the I

(23:37):
haven't used either, really, Idon't go out. But I'm looking at
them now, the new black alligatorfashion mask in your choice of colors one
hundred and twenty dollars. Now,this is They're fancy, aren't they?
They are fancy? They look likekind of like bane from bat know,
right, These are pretty damn cool. Actually, yeah, my actually,

(24:02):
my daughter has made a whole bunchof them and donated some to hospitals,
and h has sold a few toto some people. But um, she
made me one out of Marvel material, So I got spider Man on mine.
Spider Man. Yep. These arebadass. Ah, that is too
cool all right. Though state landsare now closed for public use as part

(24:26):
of the social distancing campaign, pythonremoval agents for the state are still at
work, and Would hopes to dobrisk business with them if the masks take
off. Would, who also huntsalligators and used to supply luxury goods maker
Hermes, said one ten foot snakecould potentially potentially yield as many as ten
masks. People are telling me theywant to buy five, twelve of these

(24:48):
masks, so I'll definitely be buyingsnakes from local hunters. There you go.
Are gonna drop ninety dollars a piecefor a dozen masks. That's a
grand The problem with do rag IfI put the drag on and then I
do it cowboy style, then Ilook like a bank robber, like I'd
like a like a put it overyou like a bandito. Yeah, yeah,
that's what I was trying to say. Story number five are Cinco for

(25:17):
our Spanish speaking friends. This comesto us from the Village News dot com.
I he gotta love the Villages.Florida man arrested for dui after driving
a golf cart on the highway.We had a similar story to this before.
Half A Florida man was arrested afterhe was spotted driving a golf cart
down US Highway twenty seven Slash fourforty one. Alfred Constant Mattee Matthew,

(25:41):
Matthew, Matthew, It's it's theFrench. Oh Okay, Age fifty two
of the Villages was driving a greenYamaha golf cart in the wee hours Friday
morning when he turned from US Highwaytwenty seven onto Morris Boulevard before being pulled
over in the roundabout El Camino.Real. What because it's real? Because

(26:03):
it's the Spanish piation. We gotFrench, we got Spanish. How am
I supposed to know? According toa restaurant, it's spelled r e L
that's real. Yes. According toan arrest report from the Sumter County Sheriff's
Office, when a deputy asked forMatthew's driver's license. He instead offered his
gate card. He claimed he wason his way home after working at the

(26:27):
Lows of Home Improvement. It'll bewhich isn't really open in the middle of
the night now, but it appearedhe had been hours Friday more yeah,
but it appeared he'd been drinking.Matthew initially refused to participate in field sobriety
exercises and admitted he did not havea Florida driver's license. He claimed he

(26:47):
had a new Jersey driver's license,but the deputy could not find record of
that driver's license. Three unopened,one hundred million later bottles of vodka were
found in the golf carts trunk area. He had three handles of what could
have been Yeah, oh dear openedthat was that was for when he got
he provided present samples that registered pointthree three nine end point three three four.

(27:11):
That's more than four times the legallimit. That's almost fucking dead,
he was point four will will putyou in the hospital and probably kill you.
He was arrested on charges of drivingaunt of the influence and driving without
a valid license. He was bookedat the Suttner Counted Detention Center. Home
fifteen hundred dollars. Mind wow,gave his gate card as his ID at

(27:36):
least what his library card. Imean, that would have been better because
it would have at least had hisname on it. Because those gate cards
are just the little, uh,the little electronic things that have the r
F I D chip in and sothat you can open the gate. They
don't typically have something printed on Ourfinal story tonight, Florida man tried to

(27:57):
use a fake COVID night teen signto avoid arrest. This one comes to
us from wowktv dot com. Awanded Florida man tried to keep officers away
with a sign warning that he hadtested positive for the coronavirus. According to
the Putnam County Sheriff's office, quoteplacing a fake COVID nineteen sign on your

(28:19):
door will not stop us from kickingit it in when you have felony warrants
for your arrest unquote, a sheriff'soffice wrote in the news from us nice
try, buddy, Yeah. JoshuaPrince, age twenty eight apparently scrawled quote
COVID nineteen infected since four eight twentyunquote in blue ink on a sheet of
paper and used electrical tape to stickit to his front door. I saw

(28:40):
this video somebody I don't know where, on Facebook or somewhere, and it
was it was it was a comedything that it was. This guy was
talking. You know, I wanteverybody to know my family and everybody.
You know, I got tested andum I tested positive for I got I
got the COVID, and uh,I need you all to take seriously and
think about it. It. Justhang on second, baby, let me

(29:02):
finish talking goes on. You know, y'all just need take this seriously because
this is real, y'all. Imean, this is this is a real
deal. Just hang on second,baby minute. What she said they didn't
find COVID in your sight says youwere tested for cocaine on marks the nineteenth.
You dumb motherfucker get tested. Youeven test you tested pot. You

(29:25):
didn't test positive for COVID. Yougot test positive, tested for cocaine on
the nineteenth. That's funny. There'sa screenshot going around somewhere as somebody that
says test results coronavirus negative, chlamydiapositive, syphilis positive, HIV on the
good news, I don't have theCOVID, all right, that's good.

(29:45):
Deputies and detectives don protective gear toarrest Price Thursday at the Barden, Florida
residence. Price was wanted on afelony charge of fleeing and a looting,
law enforcement and violation of probation warrants. Quote. The investigation revealed the suspect
created the fake sign as his ideato avoid arrest. Unquote, The Sheriff's
office found no indication that Price hadcontracted COVID nineteen. Well, it wasn't

(30:07):
a fake sign. It was justit was a real sign with fake information
on it. Yeah, but nicetry. Yeah, I mean that's you
gotta do what you gotta do whenyou're on He'd probably have been better off
saying, you know, hey,I have a bomb in here. At
least you know we're because then theythey at least it brought people. Toss
the tear gas in there and sendthe send the robot in. I want

(30:29):
one of those robots. I mean, robots are cool. Uh, we're
realizing at the new house, sincethe whole every everything the whole house is
uh wood lamon at flooring, we'regonna have to get a roomba. You
just don't put it on automatic.If you got a cat. We don't
have a cat, all right,Well that's the show. We do have
a dog that tends to people.Everyone. Yeah, okay, but they

(30:52):
But there is the roomba that hasthe automatic uh mop in it too,
so at least we've been doing thatone. Those are expensive now if you
get the knock off. Okay,Florida, but that's America's wing. They
prefer the Sunshine State. Well that'sthe show for this week, folks.
Please subscribe to Florida Men wherever you'rehearing us right now our Floridamn podcast dot
com slash subscribe and please read usfive stars or leave review on Podchaser or

(31:15):
Apple Podcasts. We'll read your reviewon the show and it really helps us
get found by new listeners. Weare at Florida Man pode on all social
media thingies. Our email is FloridaMen podcast at gmail dot com and our
voicemail is five six seven four threetwo ninety six seven four. And we
got an email this week from Stephanie, one of our patrons fell with exclamation

(31:37):
mark. Three of them terodactyls.I know three terodactyls are not birds?
Did I claim they were? Yes? You didn't was I was, I
was, I was, I definitivein my h No, I think it
was just aside something you said offthe cup. They're dinosaurs, they're not
birds. My husband just had amild heart attack here after hearing this.

(31:57):
But hod Day's birds technically left overdinosaurs. Greetings from Germany, Stephanie,
and I you know, I've I'vehad this conversation with someone before, and
uh so I did have to lookit up. I don't want to be
that guy. But technically pterodactyls arenot dinosaurs either. Oh really, they
are flying reptiles that lived at thesame time as dinosaurs, but they're not

(32:20):
considered dinosaurs. All right, Soall of comments Stephanie need to be made
towards Joel on that. I'm m. I did look it up on Wikipedia.
Oh of course, that's by farthe best place to go. Well
they had the whole It looked officialis yeah, well yeah, there was,
There was lots and and I therewas several pages. I actually spent
way too much time researching this forfor this one sentence. And but so

(32:45):
birds, were you trying to defendme? Are you trying or what?
Were you trying to go? Far? Here? Just because I just wanted
to educate myself so I didn't makea correction and be wrong. Because because
yes, birds are dinosaurs, becauseas they are the last that they survived
from merds or dinosaurs. Yes,birds are the birds are not what they're

(33:07):
not dinosaurs. You don't go outbut dinosaur fleu pass the window bird.
No. Genetically they are still inthe same same it's not a class,
but but the they are considered aviandinosaurs. So birds technically are reptiles,
as are dinosaurs and pterodactyls. They'reall reptiles. However, only birds and

(33:29):
dinosaurs are considered dinosaurs. Okay,I appreciate everything you're saying, Joel,
You know that. The sad thingis I have zero recollection of you.
Do you think me using the wordpterodactyl in any sentence? I think you
just what you meant to say isthey're the ones that fly because they look
I mean, they look like pelicans. They look what pterodactyls. Yeah,

(33:51):
they got that big, long snoutlike a pelican. Yeah yeah, I
guess. So. Well I'm gettingout of this. UM. I'm not
going to be in this debate.UM, so don't argue with me argue
with the Wikipedia. All right.If you want to support the show,
you can send us something from ourAmazon wish list, or you can drop
something in our online tip jar atPayPal dot me slash Florida Men. Or
to get early access and it extendedad, free episodes and other cool stuff,

(34:15):
you can subscribe at patreon dot comslash Florida Men, and links to
all three of those are in theshow notes. We'd like to thank our
Patreon subscribers personally, and they areat the Jacksonville Tier Cassandre and Wally,
at the Tampa Tier, Colin,David, Jason, kat Michael d Michael
m one Foot in the Grave podcast, Patrick, Randy, Roxanne and Julia.

(34:36):
At the Tallahassettier, we have AlisonKneth, Erica, Heather who JP
you can't do Wahoo, Well,you're reading the name, so I did
the Wahoo JP, June, Kurt, Matt Matthew from Washington State, Nicole
Paradise After Dark podcast, Sarah Tea, Tony and Stephanie and at the Daytona
Tier, Jessica, Katie, Kimand Mia and at the Orlando my good

(35:00):
friends Stephen Danielle and at the MiamiTier, Wicked Spades, The Space Coast
Season, Travis, and this weekour Patreon bonus story is about a disagreement
between police and a business owner aboutthe definition of essential and you can only
hear it if you're one of ourPatreon subscribers. This program is provided for
information and use only. No warrantyof professional relationships implied, and no refunds

(35:21):
will be granted. Views expressed onthis program are solely the opinions of Shadyside
Media, LLC and are not intendedto diagnose, treat, cure, or
prevent any disease, and do notimply an endorsement by our sponsors, spouses,
families, employers, each other,or the Florida Board of Tourism.
Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or retransmissionwithout the express written consider Major League Baseball

(35:42):
is prohibited. All suspects should beconsidered innocent until proving guilty in a court
of law. This podcast was recordedat Southern Audio Production Studios in Fort Myers,
Florida, and sheltered in Play Studiosin Beneita Springs, Florida, and
mixed in a wrestling ring in myfront yard and as always f fitas up
tonight with a ballot of Florida Manand Tracy you can kiss my ass.
Florida Man, Florida Man. Itmight be crazy, might be stupid.

(36:07):
He's a Florida Man. He's gothis feet in the sand while he works
on his pan. He's got anannual pass to disky Land. The drains
his fear from a canny lives inhis fan. It's a mobile tiny house.
Inside is Florida Man. Florida Man. Might be crazy, might be

(36:35):
stupid. He's a Florida Man.Florida Man. He's a dumb ass,
but we loving Me's a Florida Man. The preceding podcast is copyright twenty twenty
Shitty Side Media ll Elsie, Allrights reserved.

All Episodes

154 - Pandemic Fugitive, Neighborhood Narcs, Disrobed Defender, and Bank Burritos

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}154 - Pandemic Fugitive, Neighborhood Narcs, Disrobed Defender, and Bank Burritos