Seek First to Understand

It goes without saying that we should be nice to one another. It’s blindingly, glimpsingly obvious, right? But how do you do that? How do you stop yourself from blurting something out when someone annoys you, or showing your disapproval through an off-handed, unthinking facial expression? Exactly how?

It’s not easy, is it? Perhaps you’re a gentler soul than am I, but nevertheless people still annoy you, so the temptation’s there in the heat of the moment to give them a piece of your mind. And let’s be honest, that never ends well.

Which makes this even more difficult to follow:

Ephesians 4:29 When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you.

Okay, as I said, that much is obvious, but how do you actually live that out?

Look, that person who drives you crazy, who annoys you, who wrongs you … they have their own demons to deal with – their own unhealed wounds from the past, their own pressures and conflicts in life – just like you.

It’s a funny thing, but when we stop to try to understand them – where they’re coming from, why they’re behaving as they are – it becomes a whole lot easier not to say anything bad, but rather to speak the good to them that they need to hear to help them grow. In other words, seek first to understand, and then to be understood.

Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you

That’s God’s Word. Fresh … for you … today.