August 12, 2025 • 30 mins
Starting strength training after 40 can feel intimidating—especially when all the internet advice focuses on technical minutiae like deadlift angles or optimal rep ranges. But what if the biggest keys to success weren’t about that at all? In this episode, you’ll zoom out to the big picture and learn four foundational lessons that will make your strength journey more effective and sustainable from day one.
Using a year of personal experience learning to play the drums, this episode draws an insightful analogy between picking up a musical skill and building your strength training practice. If you’ve been unsure where to begin or find yourself stuck in perfectionist mode, this is the roadmap you’ve been missing. These aren’t quick hacks—they’re timeless mindset and behavior strategies that can keep you lifting for life.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
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The type of mindset you need when starting something new
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The thing to seek out early – even if you’re a total beginner
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What to let go of to find joy in the process
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Why these foundational lessons can help you stick with strength training when things get tough
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How to apply these ideas whether you're brand new to lifting or getting back into it after a break
Enjoyed this episode and want more?
If you want a lifting program that tells you exactly what to do, try 7 days of Strong with Steph here >> https://stephgaudreau.com/workout
Share this episode with a friend looking to improve their strength training knowledge.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Steph Gaudreau (00:02):
So you're over 40 and curious about starting
strength training, how the helldo you even begin? And usually
the questions I get focus somuch on the nitty gritty
details, but on this podcast,I'm going to be zooming out to
four extremely key lessons thatyou need to focus on that keep
(00:23):
the big picture in mind when youare starting out on your
strength training journey. If Icould go back 15 years in time
to when I first started liftingweights, these are the four
things that I wish someone satme down and told me so in the
interest of paying it forward,that is exactly what I'm going
to do for you in this episode.
(00:56):
Hello and welcome back to thepodcast. I'm Steph Gaudreau,
your host. This is episode 441,I think, oh,
Unknown (01:06):
it's
Steph Gaudreau (01:06):
been, it's been many podcasts. This is an
episode that's going to centeron four lessons that I wish
somebody told me about strengthtraining way back at the
beginning, when I started, andI'm going to teach you these
lessons today through the lensof a very recent skill that I
(01:28):
have started acquiring. So I'mgoing to use an analogy of me
learning this other skill andthe sort of coaching lessons
that I applied to myself. Butwhen I stepped back and thought
about it, I thought these alsofit extremely well for fitness,
especially with strengthtraining. And a lot of women who
(01:50):
are over 40, you're trying toimprove your athleticism. You're
trying to lift for a sport. Youknow that you want to improve.
For example, you're running, andyou've heard that you should do
some strength training as well.Maybe you haven't dabbled in
things, or you've taken a breakand you're trying to get back
into it, and you're like, ohgosh, this just feels so
overwhelming. There's so manylittle tiny details in the last
(02:13):
episode, I just talked about allthe things that people say is
cheating when it comes tolifting and all the minutia. And
at the end of the day, if Icould go back in time, these are
the things I wish a coach hadsat me down and told me are some
of the most important thingsthat I could focus on. I'm here
because I'm stubborn as fuck,and found a way to make it work,
(02:36):
and learned a lot of lessons thehard way. And I think there is
value in learning throughexperience, because you've made
mistakes, or you've sort of paidyour dues in the school of hard
knocks. But I don't thinkeverything has to be that
difficult, and I also don't wantyou to quit too soon, because
strength training is sobeneficial. It's so fucking
(02:57):
amazing, and we want it to besomething that you do for a long
time, because it benefits yourlife in a really positive way
before we dive in a couplethings. If you're enjoying this
podcast, please hit subscribe onyour favorite podcast app. It
really does help, and it sends asignal to the algorithm and to
the platforms that people areenjoying this show and other
people with similar interestsmight also like it and share
(03:19):
this episode out. Alwaysappreciate so much when you're
telling me that you share itwith your friend or your lifting
partner or something like that,and if you're curious about
having a plan for strengthtraining, and you know you just
need to have someone else dothat part of the heavy lifting
for you, and check those boxesand lay everything out so you go
into the gym and you knowexactly what to do, then you can
(03:41):
join the no obligation wait listat Steph gaudreau.com/interest
and I'll let you know the nexttime things are opening up for
enrollment. The interest listalso usually gets any early bird
bonuses, and then first accessto any premium coaching spots
that I have, which always govery fast. So check it out. If
(04:02):
you're like, Yeah, I need aplan. It's time. Then I got you.
Let's do it. As I said at thetop of the show, learning
something new, especiallystrength training, can be
daunting, very, very daunting.And I usually recommend that if
you're a complete, completebeginner, and if you have the
ability to work with somebody inperson, whether it's a one on
(04:23):
one personal trainer, or a smallgroup coaching setting or
something like that, even a fewsessions can be extremely
helpful, and a lot of timesthat's because of navigating the
gym space, knowing what theequipment is looking for, basics
in terms of your form and andthose sorts of things. But if I
had to pull back and tell yousome of the most important
(04:48):
general lessons and pieces ofadvice to keep in mind,
especially as a beginner, butthis applies to all levels, it
would be these four things, andof my time i. Coaching and as
someone who lifts and as someonewho participates in athletics,
these things are extremelyimportant, and they're very much
(05:10):
overlooked, oftentimes at theexpense of technical stuff like
how to pull the slack out of thebar when you're dead lifting, or
how to increase your weightswith RPE or something like that.
That's much more technicalknowledge. It is important. But
these are the things that I'mgoing to talk about today that
oftentimes lead people to quit.And we don't want you to quit.
(05:32):
We want you to keep going. Allright. Story Time, my favorite
time, last June. Last June, Iwas on YouTube. Cannot remember
what I was looking at. Andearlier, I talked about, when
you're on a platform and youengage with something and it
sends a signal, right? Or it itpings the algorithm in some way,
(05:53):
like maybe you decided to clickon a video of cat behavior. And
why do cats nibble on your legswhen they want your attention or
something? And then all of asudden, you go back to your
YouTube algorithm, and it'spacked with cat videos just from
that one thing. I honestlycannot recall what I clicked on
(06:16):
or what I was listening to, butI saw a video pop up in my feed,
and the title is Julliard jazzprof, here's nirvana for the
first time. And I thought,Nirvana, I am, I am a grunge
child through and through. Igrew up listening to grunge.
Grunge is one of my favorite subgenres of music, and there's
(06:40):
just nothing like it. And I willsay Pearl Jam for me, edged out
Nirvana by a little bit, but Istill remember seeing the video
for Smells Like Teen Spirit forthe very first time at my
grandmother's house on MTV thatthat this is the stuff that
stayed with me. I was talking tomy long time one of my long time
(07:01):
BFFs Becky today about listeningto Weezer's blue album on the
bus on the way home from schoolin high school, and, you know,
all that stuff. So I've alwaysloved music. I heard Led
Zeppelin for the first time whenI was probably 13 or 14. That
changed my whole musical world.So I've definitely been into
(07:24):
bands like that, and have alwaysreally liked hard rock,
alternative, grunge, heavy metaland all that sort of stuff. So
anyway, when I saw this videofor Julia jazz professor, here's
nirvana for the first time, Ithought, What is this? Okay, I'm
in and it was Ulysses Owens, Jr,who's an incredible jazz
musician, playing the song inbloom. And he made up his own
(07:48):
drum part for in bloom. And Ithought, Okay, this is the
coolest thing I have seen in avery long time. And I've always
been curious about playing thedrums. And have always loved
music of this style. And growingup, my other BFF, Megan, her
brother, her little brother,Mikey, played drums. They had a
(08:11):
band when we were in highschool, and I thought that was
just the coolest thing. But Inever could read sheet music,
and in my early 20s, I tried tolearn how to play the guitar. I
took lessons. They didn't teachme drum or they didn't teach me
guitar tab. They taught me onsheet music, how to read the
sheet music, and I couldn't doit, and I quit after about six
(08:32):
months of lessons. All of thisbackstory is to tell you that
I've always been I've alwaysloved music. I've always been
keenly interested in music, eventhough I have no musical
background. And when I tried tolearn music in the past, I
struggled, and I didn't stickwith it. But I saw this video of
Ulysses Owens Jr playing inbloom, and thought, Okay, I'm I
(08:57):
need to know more. And I wentdown the drumeo Rabbit Hole, as
a lot of people have done, andsaw Dorothea Taylor, she's an
amazing drummer, and just sawwomen, people of all ages, and I
thought, I want to learn how toplay the drums. So that was my
(09:17):
thing, that I decided to try.And here we are a year later, I
just had my one year anniversaryof learning to play the drums,
and I play multiple times aweek. I try to play a little
every day, but, yeah, I'veimproved a lot. So here are some
of the things that I implementedfrom my own coaching playbook,
(09:39):
learning, especially frombehavior change coaching, and
then, of course, the coachingthat I do with my lifters. And I
really have tried, now that Ihave more of this knowledge,
it's not easy to coach yourself,of course, but I really have
tried to implement a few keylessons. From my own coaching
(10:02):
experience with strengthtraining and leveraging that
into learning the drums. So Iwant to share these four lessons
with you. Okay, so number one,the number one lesson is that
growth mindset is essential.Growth Mindset is essential. I
(10:23):
have done podcasts on growthmindset in fitness. I think it's
called growth mindset andfitness, if you look for the
title, something similar tothat. But this has been
extremely important, becauseremember, I told you, I always
thought I was bad at music or Icouldn't read sheet music. I
still don't read sheet music,but I do read drum tab and I
(10:43):
know how to read notes andtiming and things like that. So
I have to remind myself quite alot that I'm not bad at music,
because the thought that I'm badat music is a very fixed way of
looking at the situation. FixedMindset means you see things as
unchangeable, and this is tough.It is tough to be able to
(11:06):
cultivate this
mindset of improvement andchallenging oneself and looking
for other people who aresuccessful because they are
models of what's possible anddoable and those sorts of
things. So instead of thinkingI'm bad at music, here are the
things I have focused on, interms of a growth mindset, and I
(11:27):
want you, as you're listening,maybe you don't play a musical
instrument, but I want you tothink about your own lifting,
or, if you're consideringstrength training, how this
might play out for you. I amtelling a story today, and I'm
relating it to a situation in myown life, but this is a metaphor
(11:49):
for you or a lesson for you toapply to your own life. So
instead here that, here are somethings, I've focused on. Number
one, improving through practiceand effort. So I practice a lot,
I try to practice every day.Sometimes that's not practical,
if I'm traveling or other thingshave come up and gotten in the
way. But even if I'm just takingout my drum pad and my sticks, I
(12:12):
try to do something. That's whatI did last night. I wanted to
play a little bit more, but itwas getting late, and so I just
took out my pad and my sticks,and that's the quietest way I
can practice. So I know that ifI want to get better, get
better, I have to practice and Ihave to give it good effort,
right? I have to try effort andpractice and consistency go a
hell of a long way towardimproving a skill. Number two, I
(12:36):
try to embrace challenges andlearn from failures or
difficulties. So for example,picking a really challenging
song that I want to learn, orincorporating a new skill. So
last, end of last year, Idecided I wanted to learn how to
play double bass, which is bothfeet alternating, which is used
in a lot of metal music. So I'mI'm still looking for what? Even
(13:01):
though I'm still fairly new, I'ma year in, I'm still looking for
challenges to continue tostretch me and really trying to
learn from things that didn'twork very well the first time.
And that's been very important,although also not super easy.
Number three is seeking feedbackso I can improve my skills. This
one isn't always easy, but hasbeen very beneficial. And one of
(13:23):
the people I get the most directfeedback from is my drum
teacher. So I'll talk aboutthat. But even recently, I went
to a drum clinic, and DanielMattson from a band called The
home team, was teaching thisclinic, and I had actually
played a home team song, maybethe day before, and tagged him
in it. And at the drum clinic,he was like, Hey, you sent me
that video right? It's like,sounded really good, and here's
(13:46):
some ways that you can improveit. And I really just tried to
soak up everything he wastelling me, and instead of
seeing it as negative criticism,I was really trying to put those
lessons into practice after heshared them with me, and I'm
still thinking about them tothis day. So the question to ask
yourself is, do you see yourskills in fitness as growth
(14:06):
oriented, or do you see them asmore fixed and unchangeable? And
that can be a huge through linethat again, this stuff takes
practice. It's not always easyor kind of your natural
inclination, but looking forways to grow and improve and
challenge yourself over time andincorporate feedback will help
you learn much faster andimprove much faster. Number two,
(14:32):
seek expert guidance. Seekexpert guidance. So I told you
how I saw these drummio videos,and I thought, Okay, I want to
get a course. And dremio offersa membership, and they have lots
of courses inside. And I justthought, okay, right away, I'm
(14:52):
going to get a course, becauseeven though it was at a
distance, it's all virtual. Ithought, okay, it's going to
keep me from. Wasting my timesearching for random shit on
YouTube. I'm here because ofrandom things on YouTube, and
I'm grateful for it, but I alsoknow that when you are learning,
(15:13):
especially when you're new,having drinking from the fire
hose, of information that is theinternet is it sounds like a
smart thing, and it sounds like,Okay, I'm gonna expose myself to
all of these different things.And I think there is a time and
a place for looking for newinspiration, or looking for new
(15:33):
music, or things like that, ofcourse, but when you're first
learning and you don't evenreally know where to begin
finding something that can kindof funnel and focus your
attention is very, veryimportant. Three weeks after I
got my drum pad and got mydrumeo course, I decided I
(15:55):
wanted to start weekly lessons,and I made this determination
quite easily, because I knew hewould help me learn foundational
skills. He would be there toobserve me. And even though I
tried to do skills well, I'mstill learning so I'm not always
doing them correctly. And numbertwo, it would help me avoid
(16:15):
developing bad habits. I wasalready doing weird things with
my right leg, which is the kickdrum. So three weeks into
learning the drums, you couldargue, hey, you just started.
Like, you haven't gotten to thepoint where you need lessons
yet. And I hear that a lot frompeople who are starting out with
strength training. They're like,Oh, but I'm new. I don't need a
(16:37):
coach or, you know, I I'll go toa personal trainer when I get
more experience, or I improve myfitness, or I'll join a gym when
I, you know, I've been doing itfor x number of months, because
it means I've finally arrived.And my response to that is,
invest in that right away,because that's going to give you
the best possible start and makeit more likely that you'll still
(16:57):
be doing this three, 612, monthsdown the road. So in the gym.
Like I said, I highly recommendyou either work with a coach in
person for a short time, ifyou're brand, brand new, but if
you're ready to be on your own,get a program. It's gonna
really, really help. Of course,if you're somebody who likes to
work in person with a coach orwhatnot for perpetuity, that's
(17:19):
great, too. But if you'rewanting to be on your own, at
least get a program to guide youso you can free up your brain
space, and you're not constantlyhaving to devote the thinking
power. Because I know y'all arebusy. You've got a lot going on.
You're very highly motivated,you have hobbies, you have
families, you have careers, andyou're doing sometimes a sport
on the side as well. You've gota lot of competing things for
(17:41):
your attention. And when youdon't have a plan in terms of
strength training, it's easy foryour focus is just it's just not
there. And so you go into thegym and you're like, I don't
know what to do, or it's justhard to know what direction to
point in, as I was saying. Soyeah, when I go to my weekly
drum lessons, right? I'm doingmy drills or things that I've
(18:03):
been learning, and I've, if I'vedone well enough, and I'm ready
to go to the next level, I getthe next thing, and I've been
working on a song, and, yeah,it's been, it's been awesome.
I've also been able to avoid,like I said, develop, developing
a bunch of bad habits, but I'vealso learned a lot of important,
fun, fundamental andfoundational skills that I kind
of would have skipped over atthe beginning, I told you how I
(18:26):
have always found it hard toread sheet music, so I was going
through this online course, andit was talking all about how you
count notes. And I just thought,
Unknown (18:37):
nice to know, but probably not gonna do that.
Guess who to this day
Steph Gaudreau (18:43):
counts out loud me, because my drum teacher
really emphasized that that isextremely important, especially
when you're learning. And soyeah, I play my drills, and I'm
one and two and three and four,and I do that out loud. And it's
extremely important when yourjob is to keep time. So that's
(19:05):
number two, seek expertguidance. Number three, practice
regularly. This kind of goesback into what I talked about
with the first one right wherepractice and effort and
consistency are important with agrowth mindset, but I try my
best to do some kind of practiceevery single day. Even if I can
only do five or 10 minutes, it'sstill more than zero. And it's
(19:27):
pretty interesting, because evenwith specific skills that I'm
trying to develop, the finermotor control for for example,
how I'll actually hit, how youactually hit the drum with a
stick? It's Yes, a two year oldcan do it, but if you're going
to do it efficiently and keepyour joints healthy and those
sorts of things, there's moresubtlety to the technique. And
(19:49):
so learning that is still fairlynew for me. And if I go too many
days without practicing, Inotice I get really rusty at it.
And so if I can even justpractice. This for five or 10
minutes, it's still better formy skills and my brain and my
continuity to do a little bit Idon't always get every day. No,
(20:10):
I try not to miss two days in arow if possible, because then
that just kind of helps me tokeep the keep the pattern going.
It helps me to keep my habit,keep my routine. And so if
you're trying to make fitness apart of your routine, are you
more in the all or nothing camp,or are you more in the something
is better than nothing camp? Andthis is very important when
(20:31):
maybe you're going through themenopause transition, and how
you feel on a day to day is alittle bit more variable than it
used to be. Maybe it's moreunpredictable. If your sleep is
going to be rougher, your energylevels are going to be lower,
you're going through some lifestress. You have something
unexpected that happened to you,and so it makes it a lot harder
to just kind of have the sameconsistent baseline in a lot of
(20:53):
cases. So learning to beflexible is very important, and
sort of learning how to presshard down on the gas when you
have the capacity, but also tolet off the gas a little bit and
coast a little bit more when youneed to, is a very, very
important skill. And so if youcan keep your regular practice,
(21:15):
keep engaging in fitness, andeventually get to the point
where you're doing somethingmost days of the week, whether
you're lifting or doing cardioor playing your sport or going
for a walk, you know, you'veyou're that's the goal, is to
engage regularly in fitness. Andthat might mean that you have to
(21:36):
learn how to press on the gasand then coast, press on the gas
a bit more, and then coast. Andso that skill is something that
a lot of my clients are learningthrough using things like auto
regulation and things like RPEor reps and reserve or some some
days their RPE for a particularlift or the weight that you're
(21:57):
lift they're lifting at that RPElooks very different than it did
even the week before, and that'sokay, as long as we're staying
engaged in the process and inthe big picture, we're staying
consistent in that way. Sostructure, but with flexibility,
is vital for regular practice,and at the end of the day,
lifting weights, strengthtraining, especially when you're
(22:20):
newer, there's a lot of skill toacquire, even if you're more
advanced, you know, hopefullyyou're still finding ways to
challenge yourself. You'retrying new new exercises, new
variations I mentioned in thelast episode. I'm new now, right
now, doing behind the back deadlifts, which is called a hack
deadlift. And it's weird. I'mlearning something new, but
(22:40):
practice is an important pieceof that. If we want to maintain
our consistency over time andlast, but not least, number
four, don't be so fucking hardon yourself. You know, with
playing drums, it's it's been aprocess to get to this one year
mark, but I'm also trying tofocus on having fun and playing
(23:04):
songs that I really enjoy, orplaying songs that I grew up
listening to, and it brings meso much nostalgia, and it's just
a great feeling to revisit thatmusic. And so also having fun is
important. It's not just tryingto be perfect. And again, this
(23:25):
has taken a lot of this hastaken a lot of practice. For me,
it's taken a lot of grace andself compassion. I used to stop
a lot when I go to drum lessons,and maybe I'd be running through
a particular drill, and I wouldmake a mistake, and I used to
stop a lot, just dead, just cometo a dead stop and start over.
(23:50):
And my teacher is is veryunderstanding. And at the same
time, there was one day where Ikept playing and it wasn't the
right notes on the right timing.And he's like, Wait, like, you
kept playing. I have a prettysmall drum kit, and so I don't
have all the bells and whistlesof some of the more famous
(24:12):
drummers, and so sometimes I'mreading transcriptions of their
songs, and I don't have theexact drums and cymbals, and so
I just try to stay on the beat.I just make stuff up. My fills
aren't always accurate, andthat's okay. I just try to stay
on beat. So I think theimportant lesson here is, where
(24:35):
are you letting perfecttechnique or form get in the way
of something like adding alittle bit more of a challenge,
maybe doing a couple more reps,or adding a few pounds onto the
bar, or picking up the next setof dumbbells. How can you find
more enjoyment in the process? Ithink sometimes we take it
(24:55):
really seriously, and it's okayfor it to be fun. My friend, I.
I and colleague Ryan, challengedme to see how long I can hang
from a pull up bar one handed.And I'm going to try it tomorrow
when I go into the gym. I haveno idea. I have no idea what I'm
going to be able to do, but hey,why not give it a shot, right?
(25:18):
Have a little bit of fun. Be alittle bit less serious. Of
course, yes, we want to payattention. And you know, when
it's time to lift we're focusingon the task at hand. But
sometimes, especially if we'resomebody who's a bit more on the
perfectionistic side, we want todo things right. We can let that
go to a point where we stophaving fun, or we're so focused
(25:41):
on being perfect that we'reafraid to give ourself that next
challenge, and that can reallytake the fun and the joy out of
the process, out of thepractice. So it's important to
find the fun, to not be so hardon yourself to remember that
(26:02):
you're a learner, to giveyourself grace. I'm not going to
be somebody who's likely afamous musician playing in a
band. I just like to have funand play music. As it turns out,
if strength training isn't yourlike, not your not really your
thing, but you're doing it, youknow? Maybe you find ways to to
(26:24):
make it fun. Maybe you do someoutdoor workouts, or you mix it
up and you try some newvariations of an exercise, or
you try that next heavier weightand see what happens. You can
always put the weight down. Ifyou're like, Oh no, mistakes
were made, yeah, just put thebar down. It's okay. But maybe
challenge yourself if you'vebeen holding back a little bit
too much because you want it tobe perfect before you give
(26:47):
yourself permission to move on.So again, these lessons aren't
super technical in nature. Here.You know, we didn't talk about
how to set up a bench presscorrectly or things like that.
And certainly that knowledge isimportant. But if I had to do it
all again, or if I could go backand give myself these four
(27:09):
lessons, or have somebody tellme these four things, I think it
would have put a lot of thingsin perspective. And luckily, I'm
still here strength trainingtoday, but I think for some
people, these lessons could bethe difference between them
deciding to keep going and makeit through the challenging times
(27:30):
and find the big picture of whythey're doing it and what
benefit is bringing their life.So to recap, lesson number one,
growth mindset is essential,number two, seek some kind of
expert guidance to keep youfocused and keep your attention
(27:51):
funneled on the things thatmatter the most for you. Number
three, practice regularly, andremember that even a little bit
of practice is better than none,and consistency is the name of
the game. And last but notleast, don't be so hard on
yourself. There are a lot ofthings to take extremely
(28:12):
seriously in this world, andstrength training doesn't have
to be
drudgery. It doesn't have to beonly seriousness. It can be fun.
It can be light hearted. Therecan be things about it that you
enjoy. So keep that in mind. I'mso curious what you think. Send
(28:33):
me a DM on Instagram. Tell mewhat you resonated with in this
episode. You can find me atSteph underscore Gaudreau over
there on IG. Also, if you foundvalue from this episode, please
consider subscribing to thepodcast on whatever major
podcast platform you listen toor share it out with a friend.
It really does matter when yousend that out into the world.
(28:56):
And I'm very appreciative, andremember that I have two main
ways that you can work with me.The first is in my strong with
Steph program. Get a week longsample of the program by going
to Steph gaudreau.com/workout Iwill also send you my strength
training guide for athleticwomen over 40. And if you're a
woman over 40 who needs help andguidance with fueling for your
athletic endeavors, you cancheck out the strength nutrition
(29:18):
unlocked program over at Stephgaudreau.com/apply, thanks so
much for joining me on thisepisode and until the next one,
stay strong. Steph.
So you're over 40 and curious about starting
strength training, how the helldo you even begin? And usually
the questions I get focus somuch on the nitty gritty
details, but on this podcast,I'm going to be zooming out to
four extremely key lessons thatyou need to focus on that keep
(00:23):
the big picture in mind when youare starting out on your
strength training journey. If Icould go back 15 years in time
to when I first started liftingweights, these are the four
things that I wish someone satme down and told me so in the
interest of paying it forward,that is exactly what I'm going
to do for you in this episode.
(00:56):
Hello and welcome back to thepodcast. I'm Steph Gaudreau,
your host. This is episode 441,I think, oh,
Unknown (01:06):
it's
Steph Gaudreau (01:06):
been, it's been many podcasts. This is an
episode that's going to centeron four lessons that I wish
somebody told me about strengthtraining way back at the
beginning, when I started, andI'm going to teach you these
lessons today through the lensof a very recent skill that I
(01:28):
have started acquiring. So I'mgoing to use an analogy of me
learning this other skill andthe sort of coaching lessons
that I applied to myself. Butwhen I stepped back and thought
about it, I thought these alsofit extremely well for fitness,
especially with strengthtraining. And a lot of women who
(01:50):
are over 40, you're trying toimprove your athleticism. You're
trying to lift for a sport. Youknow that you want to improve.
For example, you're running, andyou've heard that you should do
some strength training as well.Maybe you haven't dabbled in
things, or you've taken a breakand you're trying to get back
into it, and you're like, ohgosh, this just feels so
overwhelming. There's so manylittle tiny details in the last
(02:13):
episode, I just talked about allthe things that people say is
cheating when it comes tolifting and all the minutia. And
at the end of the day, if Icould go back in time, these are
the things I wish a coach hadsat me down and told me are some
of the most important thingsthat I could focus on. I'm here
because I'm stubborn as fuck,and found a way to make it work,
(02:36):
and learned a lot of lessons thehard way. And I think there is
value in learning throughexperience, because you've made
mistakes, or you've sort of paidyour dues in the school of hard
knocks. But I don't thinkeverything has to be that
difficult, and I also don't wantyou to quit too soon, because
strength training is sobeneficial. It's so fucking
(02:57):
amazing, and we want it to besomething that you do for a long
time, because it benefits yourlife in a really positive way
before we dive in a couplethings. If you're enjoying this
podcast, please hit subscribe onyour favorite podcast app. It
really does help, and it sends asignal to the algorithm and to
the platforms that people areenjoying this show and other
people with similar interestsmight also like it and share
(03:19):
this episode out. Alwaysappreciate so much when you're
telling me that you share itwith your friend or your lifting
partner or something like that,and if you're curious about
having a plan for strengthtraining, and you know you just
need to have someone else dothat part of the heavy lifting
for you, and check those boxesand lay everything out so you go
into the gym and you knowexactly what to do, then you can
(03:41):
join the no obligation wait listat Steph gaudreau.com/interest
and I'll let you know the nexttime things are opening up for
enrollment. The interest listalso usually gets any early bird
bonuses, and then first accessto any premium coaching spots
that I have, which always govery fast. So check it out. If
(04:02):
you're like, Yeah, I need aplan. It's time. Then I got you.
Let's do it. As I said at thetop of the show, learning
something new, especiallystrength training, can be
daunting, very, very daunting.And I usually recommend that if
you're a complete, completebeginner, and if you have the
ability to work with somebody inperson, whether it's a one on
(04:23):
one personal trainer, or a smallgroup coaching setting or
something like that, even a fewsessions can be extremely
helpful, and a lot of timesthat's because of navigating the
gym space, knowing what theequipment is looking for, basics
in terms of your form and andthose sorts of things. But if I
had to pull back and tell yousome of the most important
(04:48):
general lessons and pieces ofadvice to keep in mind,
especially as a beginner, butthis applies to all levels, it
would be these four things, andof my time i. Coaching and as
someone who lifts and as someonewho participates in athletics,
these things are extremelyimportant, and they're very much
(05:10):
overlooked, oftentimes at theexpense of technical stuff like
how to pull the slack out of thebar when you're dead lifting, or
how to increase your weightswith RPE or something like that.
That's much more technicalknowledge. It is important. But
these are the things that I'mgoing to talk about today that
oftentimes lead people to quit.And we don't want you to quit.
(05:32):
We want you to keep going. Allright. Story Time, my favorite
time, last June. Last June, Iwas on YouTube. Cannot remember
what I was looking at. Andearlier, I talked about, when
you're on a platform and youengage with something and it
sends a signal, right? Or it itpings the algorithm in some way,
(05:53):
like maybe you decided to clickon a video of cat behavior. And
why do cats nibble on your legswhen they want your attention or
something? And then all of asudden, you go back to your
YouTube algorithm, and it'spacked with cat videos just from
that one thing. I honestlycannot recall what I clicked on
(06:16):
or what I was listening to, butI saw a video pop up in my feed,
and the title is Julliard jazzprof, here's nirvana for the
first time. And I thought,Nirvana, I am, I am a grunge
child through and through. Igrew up listening to grunge.
Grunge is one of my favorite subgenres of music, and there's
(06:40):
just nothing like it. And I willsay Pearl Jam for me, edged out
Nirvana by a little bit, but Istill remember seeing the video
for Smells Like Teen Spirit forthe very first time at my
grandmother's house on MTV thatthat this is the stuff that
stayed with me. I was talking tomy long time one of my long time
(07:01):
BFFs Becky today about listeningto Weezer's blue album on the
bus on the way home from schoolin high school, and, you know,
all that stuff. So I've alwaysloved music. I heard Led
Zeppelin for the first time whenI was probably 13 or 14. That
changed my whole musical world.So I've definitely been into
(07:24):
bands like that, and have alwaysreally liked hard rock,
alternative, grunge, heavy metaland all that sort of stuff. So
anyway, when I saw this videofor Julia jazz professor, here's
nirvana for the first time, Ithought, What is this? Okay, I'm
in and it was Ulysses Owens, Jr,who's an incredible jazz
musician, playing the song inbloom. And he made up his own
(07:48):
drum part for in bloom. And Ithought, Okay, this is the
coolest thing I have seen in avery long time. And I've always
been curious about playing thedrums. And have always loved
music of this style. And growingup, my other BFF, Megan, her
brother, her little brother,Mikey, played drums. They had a
(08:11):
band when we were in highschool, and I thought that was
just the coolest thing. But Inever could read sheet music,
and in my early 20s, I tried tolearn how to play the guitar. I
took lessons. They didn't teachme drum or they didn't teach me
guitar tab. They taught me onsheet music, how to read the
sheet music, and I couldn't doit, and I quit after about six
(08:32):
months of lessons. All of thisbackstory is to tell you that
I've always been I've alwaysloved music. I've always been
keenly interested in music, eventhough I have no musical
background. And when I tried tolearn music in the past, I
struggled, and I didn't stickwith it. But I saw this video of
Ulysses Owens Jr playing inbloom, and thought, Okay, I'm I
(08:57):
need to know more. And I wentdown the drumeo Rabbit Hole, as
a lot of people have done, andsaw Dorothea Taylor, she's an
amazing drummer, and just sawwomen, people of all ages, and I
thought, I want to learn how toplay the drums. So that was my
(09:17):
thing, that I decided to try.And here we are a year later, I
just had my one year anniversaryof learning to play the drums,
and I play multiple times aweek. I try to play a little
every day, but, yeah, I'veimproved a lot. So here are some
of the things that I implementedfrom my own coaching playbook,
(09:39):
learning, especially frombehavior change coaching, and
then, of course, the coachingthat I do with my lifters. And I
really have tried, now that Ihave more of this knowledge,
it's not easy to coach yourself,of course, but I really have
tried to implement a few keylessons. From my own coaching
(10:02):
experience with strengthtraining and leveraging that
into learning the drums. So Iwant to share these four lessons
with you. Okay, so number one,the number one lesson is that
growth mindset is essential.Growth Mindset is essential. I
(10:23):
have done podcasts on growthmindset in fitness. I think it's
called growth mindset andfitness, if you look for the
title, something similar tothat. But this has been
extremely important, becauseremember, I told you, I always
thought I was bad at music or Icouldn't read sheet music. I
still don't read sheet music,but I do read drum tab and I
(10:43):
know how to read notes andtiming and things like that. So
I have to remind myself quite alot that I'm not bad at music,
because the thought that I'm badat music is a very fixed way of
looking at the situation. FixedMindset means you see things as
unchangeable, and this is tough.It is tough to be able to
(11:06):
cultivate this
mindset of improvement andchallenging oneself and looking
for other people who aresuccessful because they are
models of what's possible anddoable and those sorts of
things. So instead of thinkingI'm bad at music, here are the
things I have focused on, interms of a growth mindset, and I
(11:27):
want you, as you're listening,maybe you don't play a musical
instrument, but I want you tothink about your own lifting,
or, if you're consideringstrength training, how this
might play out for you. I amtelling a story today, and I'm
relating it to a situation in myown life, but this is a metaphor
(11:49):
for you or a lesson for you toapply to your own life. So
instead here that, here are somethings, I've focused on. Number
one, improving through practiceand effort. So I practice a lot,
I try to practice every day.Sometimes that's not practical,
if I'm traveling or other thingshave come up and gotten in the
way. But even if I'm just takingout my drum pad and my sticks, I
(12:12):
try to do something. That's whatI did last night. I wanted to
play a little bit more, but itwas getting late, and so I just
took out my pad and my sticks,and that's the quietest way I
can practice. So I know that ifI want to get better, get
better, I have to practice and Ihave to give it good effort,
right? I have to try effort andpractice and consistency go a
hell of a long way towardimproving a skill. Number two, I
(12:36):
try to embrace challenges andlearn from failures or
difficulties. So for example,picking a really challenging
song that I want to learn, orincorporating a new skill. So
last, end of last year, Idecided I wanted to learn how to
play double bass, which is bothfeet alternating, which is used
in a lot of metal music. So I'mI'm still looking for what? Even
(13:01):
though I'm still fairly new, I'ma year in, I'm still looking for
challenges to continue tostretch me and really trying to
learn from things that didn'twork very well the first time.
And that's been very important,although also not super easy.
Number three is seeking feedbackso I can improve my skills. This
one isn't always easy, but hasbeen very beneficial. And one of
(13:23):
the people I get the most directfeedback from is my drum
teacher. So I'll talk aboutthat. But even recently, I went
to a drum clinic, and DanielMattson from a band called The
home team, was teaching thisclinic, and I had actually
played a home team song, maybethe day before, and tagged him
in it. And at the drum clinic,he was like, Hey, you sent me
that video right? It's like,sounded really good, and here's
(13:46):
some ways that you can improveit. And I really just tried to
soak up everything he wastelling me, and instead of
seeing it as negative criticism,I was really trying to put those
lessons into practice after heshared them with me, and I'm
still thinking about them tothis day. So the question to ask
yourself is, do you see yourskills in fitness as growth
(14:06):
oriented, or do you see them asmore fixed and unchangeable? And
that can be a huge through linethat again, this stuff takes
practice. It's not always easyor kind of your natural
inclination, but looking forways to grow and improve and
challenge yourself over time andincorporate feedback will help
you learn much faster andimprove much faster. Number two,
(14:32):
seek expert guidance. Seekexpert guidance. So I told you
how I saw these drummio videos,and I thought, Okay, I want to
get a course. And dremio offersa membership, and they have lots
of courses inside. And I justthought, okay, right away, I'm
(14:52):
going to get a course, becauseeven though it was at a
distance, it's all virtual. Ithought, okay, it's going to
keep me from. Wasting my timesearching for random shit on
YouTube. I'm here because ofrandom things on YouTube, and
I'm grateful for it, but I alsoknow that when you are learning,
(15:13):
especially when you're new,having drinking from the fire
hose, of information that is theinternet is it sounds like a
smart thing, and it sounds like,Okay, I'm gonna expose myself to
all of these different things.And I think there is a time and
a place for looking for newinspiration, or looking for new
(15:33):
music, or things like that, ofcourse, but when you're first
learning and you don't evenreally know where to begin
finding something that can kindof funnel and focus your
attention is very, veryimportant. Three weeks after I
got my drum pad and got mydrumeo course, I decided I
(15:55):
wanted to start weekly lessons,and I made this determination
quite easily, because I knew hewould help me learn foundational
skills. He would be there toobserve me. And even though I
tried to do skills well, I'mstill learning so I'm not always
doing them correctly. And numbertwo, it would help me avoid
(16:15):
developing bad habits. I wasalready doing weird things with
my right leg, which is the kickdrum. So three weeks into
learning the drums, you couldargue, hey, you just started.
Like, you haven't gotten to thepoint where you need lessons
yet. And I hear that a lot frompeople who are starting out with
strength training. They're like,Oh, but I'm new. I don't need a
(16:37):
coach or, you know, I I'll go toa personal trainer when I get
more experience, or I improve myfitness, or I'll join a gym when
I, you know, I've been doing itfor x number of months, because
it means I've finally arrived.And my response to that is,
invest in that right away,because that's going to give you
the best possible start and makeit more likely that you'll still
(16:57):
be doing this three, 612, monthsdown the road. So in the gym.
Like I said, I highly recommendyou either work with a coach in
person for a short time, ifyou're brand, brand new, but if
you're ready to be on your own,get a program. It's gonna
really, really help. Of course,if you're somebody who likes to
work in person with a coach orwhatnot for perpetuity, that's
(17:19):
great, too. But if you'rewanting to be on your own, at
least get a program to guide youso you can free up your brain
space, and you're not constantlyhaving to devote the thinking
power. Because I know y'all arebusy. You've got a lot going on.
You're very highly motivated,you have hobbies, you have
families, you have careers, andyou're doing sometimes a sport
on the side as well. You've gota lot of competing things for
(17:41):
your attention. And when youdon't have a plan in terms of
strength training, it's easy foryour focus is just it's just not
there. And so you go into thegym and you're like, I don't
know what to do, or it's justhard to know what direction to
point in, as I was saying. Soyeah, when I go to my weekly
drum lessons, right? I'm doingmy drills or things that I've
(18:03):
been learning, and I've, if I'vedone well enough, and I'm ready
to go to the next level, I getthe next thing, and I've been
working on a song, and, yeah,it's been, it's been awesome.
I've also been able to avoid,like I said, develop, developing
a bunch of bad habits, but I'vealso learned a lot of important,
fun, fundamental andfoundational skills that I kind
of would have skipped over atthe beginning, I told you how I
(18:26):
have always found it hard toread sheet music, so I was going
through this online course, andit was talking all about how you
count notes. And I just thought,
Unknown (18:37):
nice to know, but probably not gonna do that.
Guess who to this day
Steph Gaudreau (18:43):
counts out loud me, because my drum teacher
really emphasized that that isextremely important, especially
when you're learning. And soyeah, I play my drills, and I'm
one and two and three and four,and I do that out loud. And it's
extremely important when yourjob is to keep time. So that's
(19:05):
number two, seek expertguidance. Number three, practice
regularly. This kind of goesback into what I talked about
with the first one right wherepractice and effort and
consistency are important with agrowth mindset, but I try my
best to do some kind of practiceevery single day. Even if I can
only do five or 10 minutes, it'sstill more than zero. And it's
(19:27):
pretty interesting, because evenwith specific skills that I'm
trying to develop, the finermotor control for for example,
how I'll actually hit, how youactually hit the drum with a
stick? It's Yes, a two year oldcan do it, but if you're going
to do it efficiently and keepyour joints healthy and those
sorts of things, there's moresubtlety to the technique. And
(19:49):
so learning that is still fairlynew for me. And if I go too many
days without practicing, Inotice I get really rusty at it.
And so if I can even justpractice. This for five or 10
minutes, it's still better formy skills and my brain and my
continuity to do a little bit Idon't always get every day. No,
(20:10):
I try not to miss two days in arow if possible, because then
that just kind of helps me tokeep the keep the pattern going.
It helps me to keep my habit,keep my routine. And so if
you're trying to make fitness apart of your routine, are you
more in the all or nothing camp,or are you more in the something
is better than nothing camp? Andthis is very important when
(20:31):
maybe you're going through themenopause transition, and how
you feel on a day to day is alittle bit more variable than it
used to be. Maybe it's moreunpredictable. If your sleep is
going to be rougher, your energylevels are going to be lower,
you're going through some lifestress. You have something
unexpected that happened to you,and so it makes it a lot harder
to just kind of have the sameconsistent baseline in a lot of
(20:53):
cases. So learning to beflexible is very important, and
sort of learning how to presshard down on the gas when you
have the capacity, but also tolet off the gas a little bit and
coast a little bit more when youneed to, is a very, very
important skill. And so if youcan keep your regular practice,
(21:15):
keep engaging in fitness, andeventually get to the point
where you're doing somethingmost days of the week, whether
you're lifting or doing cardioor playing your sport or going
for a walk, you know, you'veyou're that's the goal, is to
engage regularly in fitness. Andthat might mean that you have to
(21:36):
learn how to press on the gasand then coast, press on the gas
a bit more, and then coast. Andso that skill is something that
a lot of my clients are learningthrough using things like auto
regulation and things like RPEor reps and reserve or some some
days their RPE for a particularlift or the weight that you're
(21:57):
lift they're lifting at that RPElooks very different than it did
even the week before, and that'sokay, as long as we're staying
engaged in the process and inthe big picture, we're staying
consistent in that way. Sostructure, but with flexibility,
is vital for regular practice,and at the end of the day,
lifting weights, strengthtraining, especially when you're
(22:20):
newer, there's a lot of skill toacquire, even if you're more
advanced, you know, hopefullyyou're still finding ways to
challenge yourself. You'retrying new new exercises, new
variations I mentioned in thelast episode. I'm new now, right
now, doing behind the back deadlifts, which is called a hack
deadlift. And it's weird. I'mlearning something new, but
(22:40):
practice is an important pieceof that. If we want to maintain
our consistency over time andlast, but not least, number
four, don't be so fucking hardon yourself. You know, with
playing drums, it's it's been aprocess to get to this one year
mark, but I'm also trying tofocus on having fun and playing
(23:04):
songs that I really enjoy, orplaying songs that I grew up
listening to, and it brings meso much nostalgia, and it's just
a great feeling to revisit thatmusic. And so also having fun is
important. It's not just tryingto be perfect. And again, this
(23:25):
has taken a lot of this hastaken a lot of practice. For me,
it's taken a lot of grace andself compassion. I used to stop
a lot when I go to drum lessons,and maybe I'd be running through
a particular drill, and I wouldmake a mistake, and I used to
stop a lot, just dead, just cometo a dead stop and start over.
(23:50):
And my teacher is is veryunderstanding. And at the same
time, there was one day where Ikept playing and it wasn't the
right notes on the right timing.And he's like, Wait, like, you
kept playing. I have a prettysmall drum kit, and so I don't
have all the bells and whistlesof some of the more famous
(24:12):
drummers, and so sometimes I'mreading transcriptions of their
songs, and I don't have theexact drums and cymbals, and so
I just try to stay on the beat.I just make stuff up. My fills
aren't always accurate, andthat's okay. I just try to stay
on beat. So I think theimportant lesson here is, where
(24:35):
are you letting perfecttechnique or form get in the way
of something like adding alittle bit more of a challenge,
maybe doing a couple more reps,or adding a few pounds onto the
bar, or picking up the next setof dumbbells. How can you find
more enjoyment in the process? Ithink sometimes we take it
(24:55):
really seriously, and it's okayfor it to be fun. My friend, I.
I and colleague Ryan, challengedme to see how long I can hang
from a pull up bar one handed.And I'm going to try it tomorrow
when I go into the gym. I haveno idea. I have no idea what I'm
going to be able to do, but hey,why not give it a shot, right?
(25:18):
Have a little bit of fun. Be alittle bit less serious. Of
course, yes, we want to payattention. And you know, when
it's time to lift we're focusingon the task at hand. But
sometimes, especially if we'resomebody who's a bit more on the
perfectionistic side, we want todo things right. We can let that
go to a point where we stophaving fun, or we're so focused
(25:41):
on being perfect that we'reafraid to give ourself that next
challenge, and that can reallytake the fun and the joy out of
the process, out of thepractice. So it's important to
find the fun, to not be so hardon yourself to remember that
(26:02):
you're a learner, to giveyourself grace. I'm not going to
be somebody who's likely afamous musician playing in a
band. I just like to have funand play music. As it turns out,
if strength training isn't yourlike, not your not really your
thing, but you're doing it, youknow? Maybe you find ways to to
(26:24):
make it fun. Maybe you do someoutdoor workouts, or you mix it
up and you try some newvariations of an exercise, or
you try that next heavier weightand see what happens. You can
always put the weight down. Ifyou're like, Oh no, mistakes
were made, yeah, just put thebar down. It's okay. But maybe
challenge yourself if you'vebeen holding back a little bit
too much because you want it tobe perfect before you give
(26:47):
yourself permission to move on.So again, these lessons aren't
super technical in nature. Here.You know, we didn't talk about
how to set up a bench presscorrectly or things like that.
And certainly that knowledge isimportant. But if I had to do it
all again, or if I could go backand give myself these four
(27:09):
lessons, or have somebody tellme these four things, I think it
would have put a lot of thingsin perspective. And luckily, I'm
still here strength trainingtoday, but I think for some
people, these lessons could bethe difference between them
deciding to keep going and makeit through the challenging times
(27:30):
and find the big picture of whythey're doing it and what
benefit is bringing their life.So to recap, lesson number one,
growth mindset is essential,number two, seek some kind of
expert guidance to keep youfocused and keep your attention
(27:51):
funneled on the things thatmatter the most for you. Number
three, practice regularly, andremember that even a little bit
of practice is better than none,and consistency is the name of
the game. And last but notleast, don't be so hard on
yourself. There are a lot ofthings to take extremely
(28:12):
seriously in this world, andstrength training doesn't have
to be
drudgery. It doesn't have to beonly seriousness. It can be fun.
It can be light hearted. Therecan be things about it that you
enjoy. So keep that in mind. I'mso curious what you think. Send
(28:33):
me a DM on Instagram. Tell mewhat you resonated with in this
episode. You can find me atSteph underscore Gaudreau over
there on IG. Also, if you foundvalue from this episode, please
consider subscribing to thepodcast on whatever major
podcast platform you listen toor share it out with a friend.
It really does matter when yousend that out into the world.
(28:56):
And I'm very appreciative, andremember that I have two main
ways that you can work with me.The first is in my strong with
Steph program. Get a week longsample of the program by going
to Steph gaudreau.com/workout Iwill also send you my strength
training guide for athleticwomen over 40. And if you're a
woman over 40 who needs help andguidance with fueling for your
athletic endeavors, you cancheck out the strength nutrition
(29:18):
unlocked program over at Stephgaudreau.com/apply, thanks so
much for joining me on thisepisode and until the next one,
stay strong. Steph.
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