100% (feat. Cody Law)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Heather (00:00):
This podcast covers sensitive topics that may be
difficult for some listeners.
Please take care while listening.

(00:27):
Hi everyone.
Welcome back to Girl Un Drunk.
I'm Heather, your host, and todayI have a very special guest.
I've said that about everyguest, but you, you imagine.
I was like, this is just amundane no, let's just a regular
guest every day, kind guest.
Hundred

Cody (00:40):
percent.

Heather (00:41):
I'm a very, I'm a very special guest today.
Cody is your last name.
Law.
Yeah.

Cody (00:46):
Technically, technically it's law.
RightSo

Heather (00:49):
Law, right?

Cody (00:49):
Yeah.
I'm like hyphenated.
Um, but I cut off RightSolike 15 years ago.

Heather (00:54):
No, and you know what?
Dead in the ground.
A

Cody (00:55):
hundred percent.
I don't even know

Heather (00:56):
what happened, but I'm on board percent.
I'm assuming it was a dad issue.
Yeah, no, literally.
Really?
Okay.
Literally there's traumato that one, honey.
Oh.
Oh my God.
I'm so excited to get intoyour trauma a hundred.
But my friend Cody Law is here.
I trapped Cody.
Cody works at the hair salon Igo to, and I trapped him into
an appointment with me once too.
For someone to come on the pod.

Cody (01:17):
No, a hundred percent.

Heather (01:19):
I don't know anything really about your story.
Yeah.
I know that you have a cat based on that.

Cody (01:25):
No, I really do.
He's a good boy.
He's a, he looks really cute.
Yeah.
Did

Heather (01:29):
you yell back at him the other day?
Like I said,

Cody (01:30):
always.
I always fucking yell back.
He always, what's his name?
Like his Duke, my sister.
So this is a story.
He is so.
My sister used to work at,um, like a pet feed company.
So like they did likelarge and small feed.
Mm-hmm.
Anyways, it was like in this, likethis small town we grew up in outside
and he was like in the field forlike a couple weeks and they kept
feeding him and they knew about him.

(01:50):
He was like six weeks old.
And then when he was eight weeks,my sister was getting into her
car and he came running outta thefield and like crawled up her leg.
So it was like the cat distributionsystem was at work that day.
Yeah.

Heather (02:01):
And

Cody (02:01):
he picked her, so.
Aw.
And then I've had him like ever, like,she had him in her room for like a year

Heather (02:07):
cat,

Cody (02:07):
and then I took him over.
So I have had him for like six years.

Heather (02:10):
Very sweet.
Such

Cody (02:10):
a sweet boy.
Love him.
And I wasn't a cat person before.
I'm definitely like a dog person.
Interesting.
And then I had brought him in and I waslike, he's actually super affectionate.
Super cuddly.
Like talks.
He yells at me, we talk back all the time.
Oh, like full conversations?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Does

Heather (02:23):
he hit you?

Cody (02:24):
No, he's really good.
He loves to butt like headhis, like headbutt me.

Heather (02:28):
Okay.

Cody (02:28):
Um, because that's like their sink lands, whatever.
But he's always like, his new thing ishe loves to yell to get into the hallway.
I'm like, shut up.
Like you're not goingoutside, like staying here.

Heather (02:37):
My si my sister lets her cat in the hallway sometimes,
but that I'll do that sometimes.
But's like is really mean.

Cody (02:41):
Okay.
So getting her back

Heather (02:42):
is difficult.

Cody (02:43):
Okay.
No, he's like chill.
Like he goes in like, buthe still me out out there.
I dunno what the hellhe wants half the time.
Like

Heather (02:48):
maybe just drama.

Cody (02:49):
No, a hundred.
Literally.
Literally.
It's drama.
My sister is like alwayslike he's a gay man's cat.
So I think that's definitely,

Heather (02:54):
well this is what I was about to say.
You like cats and dogs, sowould you say that you're verse

Cody (02:58):
a hundred percent?
Yeah.
Hundred percent.
Yeah.
That's what I figured.

Heather (03:00):
Okay.
That's what I figured.
Um, well the way we like to startoff with this pod is by asking each
other about our mental health today.
Okay.
So today.
Mm-hmm.
How is your mental health doing?
Super great.

Cody (03:11):
I'm super excited.
Oh

Heather (03:12):
my god.
Okay.
Yeah.
How about you?
Good.
I, I think I'm getting more intothe rhythm of like being stressed.

Cody (03:18):
Okay.
Love that.
And

Heather (03:19):
like

Cody (03:20):
just accepting it.

Heather (03:21):
Yeah.
And like it is.
Okay.
Yeah.
I am like, I'm stressed, I'm puttingthings together, I'm working.
I'm like, I think thatmight just be a job.

Cody (03:27):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I think that it'spart of life at this point.
I think, you know what?
I run a podcast, I'm gonna be stressed.
That's how it goes.

Heather (03:31):
We're gonna be stressed.
It's also like me and all of thesemachines and it's like terrifying.
'cause I'm like, is everythingplugged in right now?

Cody (03:38):
Yeah.
Like, it's always in the back of yourmind, like, is everything gonna work out?

Heather (03:41):
But yeah,

Cody (03:42):
it will.

Heather (03:42):
But also I'm very excited to be sitting here with you today.
I know,

Cody (03:45):
I'm, I was actually looking forward to this all week.
Yeah.
I'm not even like anxious.
Like I just, the funny thing aboutpodcast is you just like chat, like Yeah.
And you're actually so easy to talkto, so it just makes it so easy.
Like it's much, I'msuper excited to be here.

Heather (03:57):
Oh, I'm super excited to have you here.
Um, we are, today we'redrinking SAP sucker.
Okay.
SAP sucker.
But of course we'vemade it into this little

Cody (04:05):
sexy ass drink, this

Heather (04:06):
sexy ass mocktail.
So go to our TikTok and we'llshow you how to make it.
It went well.

Cody (04:15):
Okay.
Love it here.

Heather (04:16):
Cody, you are here today mm-hmm.
To discuss your past and yourcrimes and everything you, that's

Cody (04:23):
humanity.
Absolutely.
What you've

Heather (04:24):
done under the bridge and how you got there.
Hundred percent.
Um, I don't know muchabout your story, right.
All I know about you is that youare like such an angel and a shining
light anytime I walk into the salon.
You're a wonderful person.
Now, this is a very similarsentiment to a lot of addicts Yeah.
That are sober where I'm like, like Zoe.
Mm-hmm.
I'm like, you are so fun.

(04:46):
Obviously, like you're noticeablewhen you walk in the room,
like you're so confident.
But I know behind the scenesit's not always been like that.
I'm assuming hundred percent.

Cody (04:56):
Yeah.

Heather (04:57):
So can you tell us a little bit about what is your
relationship with substances today?
Like

Cody (05:04):
non-existent in the sense where it's like, I don't
think about it like I used to.
Mm-hmm.
Like.
I used to be so scaredI could never get clean.
And now it's like I would like,it's not even like in my mind
that I ever would go back.

Heather (05:18):
Yeah.

Cody (05:19):
Like I feel so confident that I've lived that life.
Mm-hmm.
And I know what that life canbring me and I don't want that.

Heather (05:26):
Yeah.

Cody (05:27):
Do you know what I mean?
Like

Heather (05:28):
Totally.

Cody (05:29):
It just feels like so freeing to know that like, like
I can, I could have it if I wantit, but I do, I do not want it.
Yeah.
And I like, it's scary 'cause it's likegoing to aa, they talk about how it's
like, it's, you can't think like that.
Like you should always be, um,vigilant and like on like the,
the go, like ready to defend it.
Yeah.
Where, but I'm like, noteverybody's the same.

(05:51):
Like, I truly feel like I foundlike, the key for me mm-hmm.
To stay sober and like,what's important to me.
Like

Heather (05:57):
Yeah.

Cody (05:58):
I go to Barry's all the time, like working out like yoga, like frigging spin.
Like, I, I, and that's who Ialways wanted to be, was like
that like athletic guy that wasjust like doing, and I'm so happy.
I found that like totally.
Then it's just like, I couldnot do any of this if I was like
using, you know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
And my favorite thing is like goingout with the girls and like knowing I

(06:19):
can still make plans the next morning.
'cause I will get up.
'cause I'm gonna be in bed by one atthe latest because I'm grandpa now
and I have no issue being grandpa.
Do you know

Heather (06:27):
what time I go to bed?

Cody (06:28):
Eleven, ten nine.

Heather (06:31):
I'm in bed at eight 30.

Cody (06:32):
I love that baby.
I'm so jealous.

Heather (06:34):
I'm grandpa.
No,

Cody (06:35):
but

Heather (06:35):
I wake up at five 30.
Yeah.
See, you know, I

Cody (06:37):
couldn't

Heather (06:38):
anything

Cody (06:38):
before seven's a crime in my world.

Heather (06:41):
But I did it.
I started sleeping like that becausewhen I left rehab, my cravings at
like four to 5:00 PM we're so crazy.

Cody (06:49):
Okay.

Heather (06:49):
That I was like, I have to do something idle hands like I have to.
So I started doing my skincare routineat like five and like, but doing long,
so like sick, like a, like an hour longskincare routine that like sometimes
it's like, okay, now I'm washing my hair.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm doing the whole thing.
So if I can get into bed by seven andjust start watching a movie, that's great.
Love.
That's safe for me.
I love that.
And then it just kind of stuckbecause I was going to bed so

(07:10):
early and waking up so early.
I like it.

Cody (07:13):
Totally.

Heather (07:13):
So now I'm just in No,

Cody (07:14):
I, I will say like when I worked at like McDonald's in Starbucks, getting
up for the 6:00 AM shift and then beingoff, but like one or two was incredible.
Yeah.
Like I did love that.
Yeah.
I'm just like, now it's like 'causeof my schedule, like I don't get home
till like nine sometimes 9 30, 10.
Yeah.
So then I don't go tobed till like 11 or 12.
So it's like a 6:00 AM I could notdo like a 7:00 AM is even pushing it.
But I do get up for that.

(07:35):
'cause I go to my Barry's classfor eight 20 Is Barry's hit.
They do hit and run.
So it's like, oh, they also have, theyalso have like, uh, just a lift class.

Heather (07:43):
Well, I believe it.
I mean, I mean,

Cody (07:44):
I'm not, I'm not even sure what hit even is, but like, I don't know either.
I just kind of said it.
People just talk aboutit, but it's like, like

Heather (07:49):
multiple different exercises

Cody (07:51):
in class.
Okay.
Then that's what it is.
'cause people, so I think it's like hit.
I'm like, sure.
But like, no, I do, you do treadmilland then you do like weights.

Heather (07:57):
Well, I think running is a mental illness.
How do you think about that?

Cody (07:59):
Okay.
I could never be a runneroutside of Barry's class.
Like I will never run on the street.
That's not my vibe.
It's like literally crazyto run in the street.
No, I can't.
People are also in your way.
Like we just talked about.
People like piss me off.
Like that's what piss 'em off.
Like, get outta my way bitch.
Like, I'm obviously moving here.

Heather (08:12):
I would love.
For people to just getoutta the goddamn way.

Cody (08:19):
My wish for 2026 Yeah.
Is people to get outtathe goddamn fucking way.
You know, way know what it's,

Heather (08:24):
it's to like do a little glance over your shoulder to see that
there are two people coming towardsyou that are walking out a faster clip.
But you and all of your family memberswould just love to see the sights.
That's great.
Make a whole Janet a hundred

Cody (08:35):
percent.
Like you don't own thewhole sidewalk also.
Oh, for me it's like, it's thesame way as, um, the street.
So it's like one side'sfor this way and one side.
Like why you like girl, like younow we're walking into each other.
No, stick to your side.
I There's lanes, there's invisible lanes.
Yeah.
On the sidewalk and you follow them.
You know what I mean?
Like you follow the lanes.

Heather (08:54):
I know.
And sometimes I give people a pass whenI'm like, okay, you're clearly visiting.

Cody (08:58):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
You're taking a photo of everything.
Totally.
You're a little bit lost, but you getone of those dressing the directions.
Yeah.

Heather (09:04):
So if you're the one, the first visitor I see in the morning, you're fine.
All the rest of you dead to me.

Cody (09:09):
So watch out out of my way.
Absolutely.

Heather (09:12):
God.
Okay.
So relationship to, um, substances.
You are not thinking aboutsubstances all the time.
No.

Cody (09:20):
No.

Heather (09:21):
Can I ask you what your substance of choice was?

Cody (09:23):
It was crystal meth.

Heather (09:24):
Crystal

Cody (09:24):
methamphetamine, as they would say.
They have to, they love you.
Just use, use that technicalterm to, but crystal meth.

Heather (09:30):
Crystal meth is

Cody (09:31):
crazy.
Crazy.
Like

Heather (09:32):
when we went to rehab, everyone there was like coke and alcohol and
every time a new person came in we'relike, oh, I hope it's meth or something.
Yes.
Like, we're all just alcoholics.
Yeah.
Like bringing something serious.
No, it's all serious.
It's all the same.

Cody (09:45):
A hundred.
Uh,

Heather (09:46):
I

Cody (09:47):
it was gonna say like,

Heather (09:48):
yeah, so were just bored ourselves.
I

Cody (09:50):
was doing aa, like I did na and then I found like a
was more like my speed, like,

Heather (09:55):
okay.

Cody (09:56):
Na.
Okay, got it.
Okay.
Maybe we'll cut this out.
But na I found was like, it'sdrug addicts running a program.
It's a little bit more chaotic.

Heather (10:04):
Yes.
I think that's why I like NA

Cody (10:05):
and ca. See, I've never done ca, but like.
Uh, there's also so many AA things.
I'm like, oh my God, IAl-Anon all that shit.
Like, but I did AA because I feltlike it was a bit more grounded and
everything derived from aa, right?
Yeah.
So it was like, it all kind ofworked out, but I loved that.

Heather (10:22):
Yeah,

Cody (10:23):
AA was great, but, um, it's

Heather (10:24):
depended on the group too, right?
Like you walked into an environment

Cody (10:27):
like Yeah, and like I just found, like, um, the original group I was going
to was like a little bit chaotic andlike all over the place, and then I found
my home group with like my AA group.
Yeah.
And I, and it was like queer friendly andall that stuff and I really enjoyed that.
Um, and that's actually, sowhen I got sober there was like
a woman who, Alita love you.
Alita.
Hi.
She connected me too.

Heather (10:47):
Is that something you looked for when you were going
to aa like queer friendly?

Cody (10:51):
Absolutely.
Okay.
I also feel like, 'cause therewas a couple meetings I went to
like, um, that were very like,like douchy, like bro guys.
And I'm like, I just don'tfeel comfortable here.
Like, it's like

Heather (11:01):
you are like, you're gonna beat me up.
A hundred fucking percent.
Yeah.
You're in withdrawal.
Not safely.
Literally.
Thank you much.
I'm not doing this much.
Hundred percent.
Like I can't

Cody (11:08):
gotta get outta here.

Heather (11:09):
We're not letting you take your withdrawal aggression out on

Cody (11:12):
a hundred percent.
That's not happen.
Yeah,

Heather (11:13):
no, we're not doing that.
Just a little boy.

Cody (11:16):
No, exactly.

Heather (11:17):
Ah, okay.
Very cool.
Very good.
And is it, would you say thatmeeting is like a predominantly
L-G-B-T-Q or just like chill?
Yeah.

Cody (11:23):
Yeah, it's chill.
Like, so I also haven't reallylike, been going to meetings.
Okay.
For like, maybe like eight to 10 months.
Now you're falling off the wagon, do youthink like No, I talked to like, ugh.
I do think it's like, thisis where it's tricky, right?
Mm-hmm.
Where it's like they talk aboutlike, you need to go, and like

(11:44):
the language I used earlier beinglike, um, I feel comfortable.
People are like, once you feelcomfortable, like it's dangerous, but I

Heather (11:50):
mm-hmm.

Cody (11:51):
Definitely feel like certain people need AA in the groups to
remind them why they're sober.
Like they need to like be committedto like doing service, all that stuff.
Mm-hmm.
That's not me.
Yeah.
Like I feel like, first of all, doingthis is much more serviceable to me than
sitting in a room where it's like peopleare sharing their stories and all I can

(12:12):
think about as what my shares gonna be.
I'm not listening to theirshares oh hundred percent.
And I'm like three shares ahead of me.
I'm like, what am I gonna say?
Like, I'm just not paying attention.
Even when we're reading the book

Heather (12:22):
and it's like, you know, it's going around the circle,
I'm like, okay, let me just goover my paragraph really quick.

Cody (12:26):
A thousand percent.
Like you're just not.
In it.
Yeah.
Where it's like, I'd rather do likethis where it's like conversational.
You just talk about youraddiction all like I love that.
I also just feel like I foundwhat has worked for me in terms of
like working out, doing berries.
Like I love my career.
Like I have really good friendswho like are super supportive.

(12:47):
They ask all the time about how I'm doing.
Like I feel like I foundmy way of being sober.
Totally.
And it works for me.
Yeah.
And then all my friends are like, I trustyour, your ability, I trust your judgment.
Like I've been soberfor almost three years.
Mm-hmm.
Where it's like if you ever needed ameeting, I know you would go to one.
And I do know I would.

Heather (13:07):
Yeah.
And I think like that's also justlike the let them strategy of it all.
Yes.
It's like whatever is going to happen withyou or me or Zoe or any of us addicts.
Like if we're going to fall into a.
Dark place.
That's kind of just our journey.
Yeah.
Like our friends can help Yeah.
And be like, okay, let's getyou up and out into a meeting.
But it is our own mm-hmm.

(13:27):
Journey.
So they kind of do have to trust

Cody (13:28):
us.
Yeah, exactly.

Heather (13:29):
I don't go to meetings.
Yeah.
I don't, I I'm thinking aboutmaybe starting to go to some
like Sunday morning meetings.
I just spoke with someoneyesterday whose mom goes to like
four or five AA meetings a week.

Cody (13:39):
Yeah.

Heather (13:40):
For some people it's just community.
Yeah.
And however your community works for you.
Totally.

Cody (13:43):
And I do think that community is like the number
one thing you need in sobriety.
Yes.
Like you need people to talk to about it.
Yeah.
But everybody's community looks different.
I, that's just like, I love a,like, AA really did get me sober.
It helped, like mm-hmm.
When I was in, at the very beginning, Iwas super, and I was going all the time.
I was like doing service.
I was like, they do, we do like a monthly,um, like inventory or a monthly, um, like

(14:04):
group meeting to like discuss what we'regonna, like, what our goals are, whatever.
Just like what we wanna do, likeanything that's coming up service wise.
And I was like the leader of that.
So I was like running themeeting and I loved doing that.
I was in it.
Yeah.
But now I'm just kind of like.
I'm stepping back and I don't feellike I'm at risk of relapsing.
Sure.
I feel so I just feel like it's also likeit ebbs and flows and I feel like I was

(14:25):
also super, like a super defended of aa.
Like it's the only way to get sober.
And now I'm like, that'sactually not the case.
Sure.
You can, you can connect to it andyou can, it's always there for you.
Like you don't have to be up its ass.
Yeah.
Like you can really find yourown way to, but you just know
like if you ever need a place tostart, aas a great place to start.
For sure.
Yeah.
And like group meetings aregreat, but you can find your

(14:45):
own way to stay and be sober.
Yeah.
And that's like just as legit.

Heather (14:49):
Well, and you do have a lot of community around you.
I really do.
At all times.
Everybody

Cody (14:52):
at work knows.
Everybody knows like, what's going on.
Like

Heather (14:55):
Yeah.

Cody (14:55):
So I feel like it's not like a big secret.
That was the biggest thing whenI was like trying to get sober.
I tried to do it by myselffor like so many years mm-hmm.
That I, but I, nobody knew.
So I was just like running aroundin circles, like chasing my own
tail, trying to like figure it out.
And then once, like I,like my one year chip.
Says like the truth will set you free.
Mm-hmm.
Because when I told my truth aboutbeing an addict, everything changed.

(15:17):
Really.
Like it.
Like it was incredible.
Like, I, like I just feltthis huge weight was lifted.
I could feel like, I could be honest,I could breathe for the first time.
Mm. And I could get thesupport that I needed.
It was scary, obviously.
'cause they were like,okay, you have to stop.
Like, I would stop smoking crystal meth,but I would still drink and smoke weed.
Right.
And they're like, youhave to stop everything.
Yeah.
And I was like, I don't really want to.
Yeah.
But now that I have stopped everything,like I don't ever wanna go back.

Heather (15:40):
Yeah.

Cody (15:40):
Like, I don't, like I don't miss alcohol.
Yeah.
Like, I don't want to like, yeah.
I just don't miss any of that shit.
You don't miss

Heather (15:46):
it at all?

Cody (15:46):
Not at all.
How?
Like even like, like sometimes like peoplelove to give me like the, um, alcohol
free, like beers and stuff like that.
Like I don't, I don't like Oh, you

Heather (15:55):
don't like

Cody (15:56):
it?
I don't like, I'm not like, like,and I know it's coming from a good
place, like, and they mean well, and Ilove, like, I love that they do that.

Heather (16:03):
Yeah.

Cody (16:03):
I just don't miss it.
Like, yeah.
I, I'm happy.
I'm happy drinking my water.
I swear to God.
Yeah.
Like, I love being hydrated,you know what I mean?
And I also don't, like, I alsojust don't want the extra bullshit.
Like, like I'm getting all thebloating and like the extra,
excuse me, we're skinny now.
We're skinny legends.
And so I giving me freaking carbsand all this bullshit, like this,
like bloating and I'm noting drunkoff of it, like I don't need that.
Yeah.

(16:23):
Although I will say I do lovean alcohol free, um, jelly King.

Heather (16:29):
What's, oh, the cider?
You?
The cider?
No, the,

Cody (16:31):
um, like the, the, I, I I'm, so, it's like it's from Bellwood.

Heather (16:36):
Yeah.
It's a can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's not a I've had one.
It's not a cider.
No, it's

Cody (16:39):
different.
The cider?
No, it's their actual beer.
Like, it's their Jelly King beer.
Like they're, but it's like the, thea alcohol for the non alcoholic one.
It's so, I don't know

Heather (16:46):
the difference between beer cider.
I think it's the sameone's wearing a dress.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
That's what I, what I assume.
Yeah.
The ones like a little more fall.
That's, I

Cody (16:53):
don't know.
I think the cider's sweeter.
I would assume that Inever got into cider.
I was more like, I would love,like I loved a bit of beer
and then I loved tequila.

Heather (17:01):
Yeah, I was gonna say, we're not drinking beer.
Beer is like, no, I'm not beer girl.
We have no time.
No.
We're trying to get drunk here.
A hundred percent.
I love tequila too.
No,

Cody (17:09):
literally gimme a shot.
Shot.
Like all day, every day.
Love that.

Heather (17:12):
Yeah.
But now I really don't want that.
No, I'm good on it.
How did you get into substances?

Cody (17:19):
Okay.
So I was like, I used to come tothe city like when I was like 17,
like on like the Greyhound bus.
Where are

Heather (17:25):
you from?

Cody (17:26):
Like, uh, kitchen or Waterloo?
Like small, small, smalltown outside there.
Okay.

Heather (17:30):
We had my, we had a, my friend who's a therapist
and she's Kitchen or Waterloo.
Okay.
Rock felt there.
I feel like everybody

Cody (17:34):
in the city knows somebody who's from Kitchen or Waterloo has been there
because of university or whatever.
Like, they're just like, or

Heather (17:39):
you're all out there doing drugs.
A hundred percent.

Cody (17:42):
Yeah.
So I used to take theGreyhound to the city.
Cool.
Um, and I went to like flyand all like the gay bars or
whatever, and I was just at 17.
Yeah.
Like I, like I had a fake id, whateverwould get in, had like the best time.
Um.
Just like living my life.
Mm-hmm.
And then it was like, I never, Ididn't really, it was always like,
just like a little bit of coke and likewhatever, and like some of that shit.

(18:03):
And like, obviously drinking, butDo you remember the first time

Heather (18:06):
you

Cody (18:06):
drank?
Uh, oh.
I was like, I started like alittle bit late, like 15, 16.
Like, um, we still have likehouse parties at, um, A Friend's.
Mm-hmm.
And then, and then I hosted aprom, which is like a lot of fun.
We had a prom at my place,which is like incredible.
Had the best time.
Yes.
Um, but I was like, I wasn'tlike super bad with that.
Okay.
I feel like I was always like in control.

(18:27):
Like, I mean, there was a couple times, Iguess okay, maybe it wasn't so in control.
I got kicked outta a couple barsfor being too wasted and like Sure.
Punching a bouncer and all that stuff.
Like, and I'm not an aggressive person,but I know I would like swing on people.
Like,

Heather (18:40):
okay, are you an aggressive drunk?
You know what?
Or just like had been,I guess I had been like.

Cody (18:47):
There's a couple, like I would like, I think I was more irritable, so I feel
like, and I, yeah, like I was never goingoutta my way to fight people, but I guess
if you stepped to me, like I wouldn't

Heather (18:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Back down.
Well, no.

Cody (18:59):
Yeah, a hundred percent.

Heather (19:00):
So don't fucking push me.
No, literally don't

Cody (19:02):
try it, bitch.
Don't you try it.

Heather (19:04):
I'm just trying to have an addiction over here.
Actually.
Lemme live my fucking life.

Cody (19:07):
Like leave me alone.

Heather (19:09):
Okay, so you're pretty in control in high school in that you're
just drinking like a normal kid.

Cody (19:12):

Heather (19:13):
Are you at any point like.
I love drinking.

Cody (19:17):
No, it was like ne alcohol was never my issue.
Like, okay.
Like I would get crazy and like, youknow, like you would get so wasted,
do vomit, but the next day, whatever.
Mm-hmm.
It was more so like, when I was 19, Istarted going to like the bathhouses.

Heather (19:30):
Okay.
I was

Cody (19:31):
like a, I was very naive.
Like there was like neverlike drug discussions in my
house, all of that stuff.

Heather (19:37):
Yeah.

Cody (19:37):
Um, where I was just like, I was like, drugs are cool.
Like, whatever.
Like it's not that serious.

Heather (19:43):
Yeah.

Cody (19:43):
And I was like, obviously the crystal meth pipe's all in the bathhouses.
Right.
And I just, I just didn't know.

Heather (19:48):
So I don't know that, so, okay, so you're gay

Cody (19:53):
a hundred?
Yeah.

Heather (19:54):
Um, if it, um, this is actually, he's coming out today.
He's gay.
Sorry.
He's choosing my podcast.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
This is actually a Christian podcast.

Cody (20:02):
A hundred percent.
Can you imagine?
Hell yeah.

Heather (20:05):
We do a lot of drugs, but we, yeah, we are very Homo basic.
Homo basic, hetero basic.
No, I love that.
Homo basic.
Um, so, okay, so, sogoing to the bathhouses.
Mm-hmm.
I've, I've heard this.
I had a friend whose dad was a pastor.
Yeah.
And he's gay and he wasgonna the bathhouses early.
No one, he didn't tell anyone, obviously.
Right.
Are you going alone?

(20:26):
Are you alone?
You're going alone, alone.

Cody (20:30):
I went alone.
I just like knew it was likethe place to be and like, hey.
And, um,

Heather (20:34):
just from like, just from having gone, having gone to bars and stuff.
Yeah.
Like, there was, there was even a

Cody (20:37):
point where I was like going with friends just to hang out.
Okay.
Like, we would just go into thesauna and chill or whatever.
Okay.
I also, I would obviouslygo with like guys.
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes two.
Um, but I would just go bymyself and like, just go around
like search rooms or whatever.
Yeah.
Um, and they would justlike pass me the pipe.
I just did not think twice.
Indoors.
Indoors.
You obviously, you're notsupposed to have it in there.
Sure.

(20:57):
But like, they're not gonna stop you.
Like, and to be honest, like crystal meth,they're not gonna stop you is a big issue
for the lgb, like for the gay community.
Okay.
From gay men specifically.
As far as like my experiences, like

Heather (21:08):
why do you think

Cody (21:09):
so?
It's like, it, you, like, you're superhorny, like your inhibition is lower.
Like, hey, you can get fucked.
Like, there's like nobody's business.
Like, it's crazy.
Like, okay.
And you stay up for days.
Like, it's just like more so than coke.
You think that?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Like, it's just like it.
I, I think it even started like,um, like possibly the eighties.
I don't freaking know, but it's crazy now.

(21:29):
Like you can even see it on Grindr.
Like if feels like that partyemoji, they're high on crystal meth,
like that's what they're doing.

Heather (21:35):
Okay.
So there's a lot more meth actiongoing around than I think there is.
So you're coming down, you're comingdown, you're coming to the bathhouses.
Yeah.
Tell me about the first time you did meth.

Cody (21:56):
It was like, I was like going to like, I was just like in the
bathhouse walking around, and thenI went to like this one guy's room.
He's like, had his door open and then,you know, shuts the door, whatever.
We're just chill and watching pornand then he hands you the pipe.

Heather (22:11):
Mm-hmm.

Cody (22:12):
And like, I didn't really know what to do with it, but I just like
figured like he just like showedme it to like lighter whatever.
And I was like, holy shit.
And I just, but I didn'trealize it was crystal meth.
I thought it was just like, read.
Whatever.
Like I was just like, I don't knowwhat this is, but it's whatever.
I just, I did not think, I was justlike so oblivious and naive about drugs.
I was just like,

Heather (22:31):
yeah,

Cody (22:32):
whatever.
It's like not that bad.

Heather (22:33):
And you did it.

Cody (22:34):
And I did it.

Heather (22:35):
And this is the interesting part too.
Where's the fear?

Cody (22:40):
No, there's no fear.
Right?
Like there actually, it's so crazy.
Yeah.
There was no fear.
Like I just was like, this is what we do.
Like it's fun.
Like I'm cool.
If you

Heather (22:48):
handed my sister a crack pipe, I think she would leave the city.
Yeah.
Like I think a lot of people wouldbe like, oh, my G like, yeah.
Terrifying.
You know, a hundred percentin whatever community.
Yeah.
But there is something, there is a throughline here with addicts where like your
first drink, your first hit is like

Cody (23:06):
mm-hmm.

Heather (23:07):
Wait, you are doing drugs.
Yeah.
This is very dangerous.
Yeah.

Cody (23:10):
Yeah.
But

Heather (23:10):
you don't have that fear in there.
No,

Cody (23:12):
it just didn't cross my mind.
Yeah.
Like, you just like, you'relike, this guy's safe.
Yeah.
Like I just don't think about it.
I'm like, I'm like, likeliving my best life.
Like it's fine.
Like yeah, it's whatever.
Drugs didn't scare me.
Like, and like actually the onlything that terrifies me is heroin.

Heather (23:28):
Really?

Cody (23:28):
Yeah.
That's, that drug scaresthe shit out of me.

Heather (23:31):
Why?

Cody (23:33):
I don't know.

Heather (23:33):
I mean, 'cause it's terrifying.
Needle.

Cody (23:34):
Yeah.
Needles.
Like for sure.
Needles.
Like, for sure.
I mean, you can also inject crystalmeth, like, that's like, mm-hmm.

Heather (23:40):
Yeah.
Um, I know every time you likelevel up to something, I guess meth.
Well, no, meth is, it's like a pipe.
But every time you're going fromlike drinking and now you're
smoking something and now it's apipe, and now you're injecting.
It's like every level up a

Cody (23:52):
hundred percent To

Heather (23:53):
me, to everyone else.
I'm like, yeah, it's fucking crazy.
But I'm like, it's also so fucking brave.
Yeah.
It's stupid.
Yeah.
But it's brave.
You're just

Cody (24:00):
doing it.
Yeah.
You're just trying to think about it.
You're just like going for it.
Like I'm here to havea good time, whatever.
Yeah.
And it's like, no.
But now I'm just like, lookingback, I'm like, what was I
obviously, what was I thinking?
Like, yeah,

Heather (24:09):
nothing.

Cody (24:10):
Like, no, nothing.
Like you just, mm-hmm.
You're just a kid doing it, you know?
It's like the cool thing to do, like.
Drugs are cool.
It makes you cool.
Like, I think that that's also waslike, like I didn't not feel cool like
in high school, but I just felt likedoing drugs would make me a cool guy.
Yeah.
And would make me popular andlike fun, you know what I mean?
Like, yeah.
And, and I also felt like it wouldjust make me like not so straight

(24:31):
edge, you know what I mean?
Like Totally.

Heather (24:32):
Yeah.
The concept of like doing drugsand being a person who like does
drugs sometimes is like really cool.
A hundred percent.
Like yeah, we don't have that reality.
No, we're under a bridge.
Hundred fucking percent.
Damn it.
I just want it to be afun guy at the party.
Literally.
I'm literally, and

Cody (24:46):
I, no,

Heather (24:46):
I'm in a sewer.
I have one shoe and it's not mine.
Fuck this.
Literally.
And like, I don't talk to my dad.
No.
A

Cody (24:53):
hundred percent.
Like, so that's like, yeah.
That's essentially how it started.
And then, um,

Heather (25:00):
and did that kick it off for you?
Were you then like, okay, nowI'm at bath houses and I'm doing

Cody (25:04):
meth.
Yeah.
But I didn't realize it was meth in Okay,so then, okay, I ca I went back, whatever.
Excuse me.
Eventually I moved to the city.
Like July, 2013.

Heather (25:15):
Okay.

Cody (25:16):
And I went to the bathhouse and I did like, I did meth, whatever.
And then that's when I knew it was meth.
But I was like, it just, itdid not, it did not occur to
me that it was crystal meth.
Okay.
Like, I knew it was meth, but likepeople like freak the fuck out
when they hear about crystal meth.
Like people do not like it.
I wonder why

Heather (25:33):
people do not like it.
No, it's also a different, it's gottabe a different feeling when you're
like, crystal meth is on the street.
Not in this bathhouse.
This bathhouse is like a placewhere I go and you pay to go.
People have money.
This can't be, that's

Cody (25:44):
the thing.
And it's like, mm-hmm.
Even like even when I was like, I. Using.
Mm-hmm.
And I would walk by and see plike people, like, like lighting
up a pipe on the street.
I'd be like, I'm at leastlike, I'm not at that point.
Like I could do the comparison thingwhere I'm like, I'm not on the street.
Like I'm still like in my apartment.
I still go to work.
Like, yeah.
I still, like, my lifeis still successful.
Like,

Heather (26:04):
yeah.

Cody (26:04):
I'm still doing well.
Yeah.
I'm not there, so I'm fine.

Heather (26:07):
Yeah.
And I'm gonna, and I'll keep doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I'm, yeah, I'll,

Cody (26:10):
no, I'll get rid of it.
I'll, I'll figure it outeventually, but, right.
Mm-hmm.
I'm just gonna, you know what I mean?
Like, keep doing my thing.

Heather (26:15):
Yeah.
I'll

Cody (26:16):
be fine.
But then when I, so I did it thatone time and then I was like,
crashing at this guy's place.
'cause I was like, couch, like for thefirst couple months in the city and
he like kicked me out because of it.
Like, oh.
He was like, I don'twant meth in this house.
And I was like, math.
Like, what?
What the hell's your issue?
Were

Heather (26:28):
you being.
Messy about it?
No, I just

Cody (26:31):
came back and I just, I was like, oh, I, I was at, I
did Christian meth last night.
Oh, oh, cute.

Heather (26:34):
Okay.
And he's like,

Cody (26:36):
okay, you can pack your stuff 'cause I don't want that in the house.
And I was like, oh, oh, cool.
Totally I'll, I'll get my shit.
Yeah, for sure.

Heather (26:42):
Okay.

Cody (26:42):
And then, so you weren't

Heather (26:43):
defensive or?
No, I was

Cody (26:44):
just like, oh, that's fair.
Like this is your house.
I'm like crashing during,like for no reason.
Like, so, um,

Heather (26:50):
yeah.

Cody (26:51):
Yeah.
And then I like, I'll

Heather (26:51):
take my meth and go Thank you a

Cody (26:53):
hundred percent.

Heather (26:53):
Mm-hmm.
These

Cody (26:54):
are my friends, literally.
And then I went to like this otherguys and he had crystal meth though.
It's just like, it's kind of crazyhow it was like all around me.
I just didn't realize what was happening.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then it wasn't until I wasabout, like I was in hair school.
Okay.
And there was, which is

Heather (27:11):
20, 20

Cody (27:12):
15.

Heather (27:13):
Okay.
So now we're two years into math.
A

Cody (27:15):
hundred percent.
But I wasn't like doing it super hardcore.
I was like once in a while.
Like it really was once in like, oncein Blue Moon, I was like more like
still like drinking, partying, butit was like never like super messy.
So

Heather (27:23):
at this point you don't feel like when you go to hair school in 2015.
Is that when you went 20?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't feel
overcome by like, youdon't feel like an addict?

Cody (27:33):
No.
Okay.
No.
There should be somebody that used tocome by and like, give me crystal meth.
Oh my god.
A customer.
Yeah.
Crazy.
And I'd just throw it out, whatever.

Heather (27:40):
Oh really?

Cody (27:40):
Yeah.
I would just like, it was like, oh, okay,maybe I'm, this time I was a little,
like a little fuzzy, but maybe I waslike getting a little bit scared about

Heather (27:47):
Sure.

Cody (27:48):
Doing it.
Um, but then, and by the way,

Heather (27:51):
sometimes when I tell stories, it's so fuzzy because we
were fucked up a hundred percent.
Like, I just dunno the

Cody (27:56):
timelines.
Yeah.
But I remember like, like Ithink I was aware that maybe it
was slightly becoming an issue.

Heather (28:02):
Mm-hmm.
But

Cody (28:02):
I just wasn't like, I was like, I'm not, it's not that serious.
Like I'm not doing it all the time.
It's just like when I do it, I justdon't like how I always behave.
Like,

Heather (28:11):
yeah.

Cody (28:12):
But then I was in hair school and I met this guy Chris.

Heather (28:16):
It's always a Chris.
It's a

Cody (28:17):
Chris.
And it just kind of took off likewe would like, I think it was like
my first, like my first month, um.
And we hung out and he had crystalmeth and like, we would smoke it
all night and he would help me,like finish my school projects.
Like, okay.
But I would like, and then,so that was like, was this

Heather (28:36):
a, a boyfriend or just a friend?
No, just a,

Cody (28:37):
just a hookup guy.
Okay.
Like this older guy that, like,I would go to his place and we
would like hook up and like do methall night, smoke meth all night.
All cool meth.
LOL.
And it was just like, he becamekind of like my connection.
Mm-hmm.
Like I had, like, I was like,I was never one to like buy, it
would always be given to me, but hewas my constant connection to it.
So I would go over to his place andalways be like, can, can we smoke meth?

(28:59):
Like whatever.
Yeah.
Um.
And it was very kinda like, it waslike we never were like a couple,
but like he would always like,help me with my, my schoolwork too.
Yeah.
So I was like getting high, havingsex and then having my homework done.
It was like, I thought he liked you.
It was like the best thing ever.

Heather (29:14):
Yeah.

Cody (29:15):
And then eventually best eventually through there.
I, I got my own, like,I found like a dealer.

Heather (29:20):
Okay.
How'd you do that?
Actually, don't telleveryone how you did that.

Cody (29:23):
I forget.
I let, no, actually no, I just feel likeit, it just kind of happened and then,

Heather (29:28):
yeah.
Yeah.

Cody (29:28):
Um, and then that's when it started kind of going crazy
and I was doing it on my own.

Heather (29:32):
Okay.
And

Cody (29:33):
then I would like, and I was never one to go out and do it.
I would just like sit in my house,watch porn, call guys over be a whore.

Heather (29:40):
Yeah.

Cody (29:40):
All the fun stuff.

Heather (29:41):
That's what I did when I was drinking.
Yeah.
Same thing.
Sitting Zoe out and about

Cody (29:45):
me

Heather (29:45):
at home.

Cody (29:46):
Yeah.
You come to

Heather (29:47):
me or maybe I'll take an Uber to you a hundred

Cody (29:48):
percent.
And it would just be like a constantthing where it was just like never
ending and like, and then eventuallyI would, like, I would do one or two
days and then it over time, like itbecame like bend of like six days sleep
for one stop and then do it again.
Like

Heather (30:03):
And when you're doing meth, when you're doing meth,

Cody (30:05):
totally.
Are

Heather (30:06):
you, um, are you active?
Like, are you able toget up and go to a job?

Cody (30:12):
You are.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I would like, I would, I wouldn'tsleep and I would still go to work.
Yeah.
Like, and I would just like lookexhausted and like, but it's
like, and I would be exhausted.
Like, I would just, like, it was crazy.
Like I, at first I wasn't awareof like what was going on and
then eventually I was like.
At least I'm gonna like, I'm gonnadrink green tea to help my mouth.
Like to No, and to like, no, to like calm.

(30:33):
This is the whole thing.
Juice cleanses and like going

Heather (30:36):
vegan, anything.
Hundred

Cody (30:38):
percent.
And I was like, I'm gonnahave some, some blueberries.
'cause they're antioxidants.
They're gonna balance outthe crystal meth smoking.
No, literally it was like thecra like, shit, people keep
my teeth from falling out.
I would, I would hit the pipe andthen go and like do the thing and be
like, okay, all my teeth are there.
We're good.
And I would like belike, we're doing grit.
And I would, and I would mouth washand be like, okay, we're just cleaning.

(30:58):
Like, so my mouth doesn'tknow what I've just done.
No, literally.
Yeah.
So it's like crazy.
Like the, the stuff you tellyourself and like what you do mm-hmm.
To convince yourself feltlike it's not that serious.
Yeah.
So I was just like, Iwas like, I have a job.
Mm-hmm.
Like I'm successful at work.
Like I still have my apartment,like people don't know.
Mm-hmm.
So I'm like, I was like afunctioning crystal meth addict.

Heather (31:18):
Yeah.
And the reason you tell yourself.
These things.
The reason you lie to yourselfand say, oh, it's not that bad.
Oh, that guy's on the street.
I'm not.
Yeah, it's so you can keep doing it.
A hundred percent.
We know, like now in retrospect, we'relike, yeah, that was fucking stupid.
Yeah.
And the solution was tostop using substances.
But it's all survival.
I can only go to my job because I'musing, I can only have a friend.

(31:39):
I can only be a person.
'cause I'm using, I'm funnier.

Cody (31:42):
I'm I'm, I was like, I actually convinced myself.
I was like, I'm actually better atmy job because I can focus more.
So, oh my God.
Yeah.
I'm not diagnosed, but people alwaysjoke, I have a h, adhd, whatever.
Yeah.
So one of the things with like,so amphetamine isn't Adderall.
I'm also like not a doctor, like how much?
Sure.
Whatever.
Mm-hmm.

Heather (31:56):
But

Cody (31:57):
it's like, there's like two ways You can either react to crystal
meth, you can either hyper fixateand focus and like get shit done.
Okay.
Or people go into psychosis.

Heather (32:04):
Okay.
And it like

Cody (32:04):
makes you, um, like you hear things.
You see things like, I was the farmer.
That's what

Heather (32:09):
we see from tv, movies.
Yes.
Degrassi.
Remember when they wereon meth and de degrass?
Yes.
And they're scratching their skin off.
Yes.
So that's not you.
Okay.
I actually don't know what that is.

Cody (32:21):
No, it's like, it, like, um, it's like obviously
how your brain reacts to it.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but like, I was like doing someresearch, some my own research.
Like, none of this is likelegit, but it's like, yeah.
The way that your body, like yourbrain reacts, it's like two ways.

Heather (32:34):
So you were hyper fixating?
I was

Cody (32:35):
hyper fixating and so I was like watching porn, like, just
like jacking off for like hours.
Boing literally.

Heather (32:41):
Are you coming?

Cody (32:43):
No, I would hold off on coming to make sure that I could just keep
like having sex, getting fucked, likeall that stuff for like days on end.
Like I wouldn't come, I wouldlike, I would like edge myself
for like four or five, six days.
Is that fun?
No.

Heather (32:53):
Yeah.

Cody (32:53):
It's kind of annoying.

Heather (32:54):
Yeah.

Cody (32:54):
It's kind of annoying, but it would just keep the thing going.
'cause like, once I came Iwould like try to sober up.
But you would be able to come?
I would, I would like eventually belike, okay, I'm gonna come and I'll order
some food and get some sleep tonight.
Okay.
And then that would not happen.
I would like get like maybetwo hours if I'm lucky.
Yeah.
But like, it got to a point whereI was like doing six days No sleep.

Heather (33:11):
You eating?

Cody (33:12):
I would sleep before.

Heather (33:12):
No.
Okay.

Cody (33:13):
No, I wouldn't.
Are you getting

Heather (33:14):
really skinny, scary looking?

Cody (33:15):
Yeah.
Yeah.
People were like, are you sick?
I'm like, no.
What the hell are you talking about?
Yeah.
I also thought it looked amazing 'causemy abs were showing, but I was like,
it's actually 'cause you're, yeah.
You're ill.
Like you're not doing much.
Yeah.
My body's

Heather (33:25):
eating all of my fat alive.
A hundred percent.
Mm-hmm.

Cody (33:27):
So that was like the big thing for me.
So I really thought I was like doing it.
I was like rocking everything.
Mm-hmm.
And it's like, in retrospect no.

Heather (33:34):
Interesting point to bring up about the body of it all.
Mm-hmm.
Did you have body issues growing up?

Cody (33:40):
No.
You didn't?
No.
I like, okay.
I, I've, I'm, I'm like five, six.
I, I'm, I'm attracted to guys whoare like fucking beefed up and like
six four, you know what I mean?
Sure.
So I always like wanted to be that.
Mm-hmm.
Obviously crystal meth does notbring you that like, but I was
never like, you know what I mean?
Like,

Heather (33:57):
turns out crystal meth.
Crystal meth is not conduciveto a healthy, beefy lifestyle
in case anyone was wondering.
No, literally.
Yeah, totally.
So I feel, but if you have some greentea, it will erase all of the damage.
And the blueberries.

Cody (34:10):
The antioxidants.
Don't forget that.
Don't

Heather (34:12):
forget

Cody (34:12):
about the blueberries.
Literally.
So I didn't ha And like I played alot of sports growing up, so I felt
like very, like, confident in like mybody and stuff like that, like mm-hmm.
I was, I'm like veryathletic, all that shit.
Um, I felt very good about that.
It wasn't, it, it just felt like it.
But I do think like, um, anybody has like,body issues or you can, but I definitely

(34:33):
feel like the gay community does too.
'cause like, like you get all these like,underwear ads from like, guys who are like
super, like super fit, all that stuff.

Heather (34:41):
I also know on like Grindr and stuff, the body Oh yeah.
What people are looking for.
Yeah.
Like they're really open about it.
Right?
A hundred percent.
No twinks or

Cody (34:51):
like, they're like no fat, no fam, no Asians.
Like, there's like racism,all that shit on there.
Fat

Heather (34:55):
Fem and Asian.

Cody (34:55):
Literally.
So it's like, there's like all thatshit that was like really prevalent.
It's crazy.
Even like now, even though I workout a lot, I still look and I'm
like, Ooh, I'm not like that.
Mm-hmm.
But I'm like, Ugh, I'm donedoing the comparison thing.
Like, does

Heather (35:07):
it fuck with your head when you do that?
When you like look at yourself oryou pretty quick to be like, it's.

Cody (35:11):
I'm pretty quick.
It's like, okay, I used to,some days I'm, some days I do
feel like worse than others.
Yeah.
Everybody does.
But there's times where I'mlike, I was doing it before
for Vanity and now I work out.
'cause my month, like if I don't getmy workout in, like I'm, I'm not happy.

Heather (35:27):
Okay.
I'm finally there with you.
I've never worked out for any reasonother than to like look a certain way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that was killing me.
I'm like, totally.
Yeah.
I'm, I'm working out to punish myself.
Yeah.
All the time.
And then I'm gonna godrink a bottle of wine.
This is so crazy.

Cody (35:42):
A hundred percent.
But

Heather (35:42):
now I get it when people are like, oh, I work out for my mental health.
I'm like, yeah, me too.
Is Nick cool to be here?

Cody (35:47):
A hundred percent.

Heather (35:49):
It's amazing.
I,

Cody (35:50):
I was like doing, like, I was doing body pump.
Barry's changed.
Like, I love running on the treadmill.
Like the runner's high is so real.
And then doing like, I love that shit.
Like, I'm doing aBarry's class after this.
Like, I'm like, they'redoing a challenge this month.
I'm like all about the challenge.
Like I, and like, I love howit's like, I also love a class.
Like I, I, I love being told like I'ma good boy and I'm doing a good job.
I love that.

(36:11):
And the classes do that.
They're like, amazing work.

Heather (36:13):
Yes, I know exactly what you mean.
And every in multiple, that justmade me a little horny, to be honest.
No, literally.
Yeah.
I haven't had sex in a while.
And being told, honestly, ifsomeone told me I was a good
boy, I'd probably be into it too.
A hundred percent.
I'm like, whatever.
No,

Cody (36:25):
literally.

Heather (36:26):
Do you know who the love of my life is?
Who you know about?
Mae Martin.
You know Mae Martin?
No.
Wayward.
Feel good?
Oh wait, now you've talked to non binds.
This is

Cody (36:36):
your, okay.
Yes.
This is my North Star.
Yes.
Okay.
I just wanted to bring that up torelate to you a hundred percent.
No, my celebrity crush is Tom Hardy.
Love Tom Hardy.
How I,

Heather (36:47):
yeah, it's like a perfect specimen, right?

Cody (36:49):
Yeah.
I also, I just have this visionwhere he's like, rough, but
he is actually really sweet.
Like, he's like a good, like genuine guy.

Heather (36:56):
What about army hammer?

Cody (36:57):
Oh God, no.
LOL?
No.
He eats people.
He's gonna eat you.
Yeah, he eats people.

Heather (37:02):
And then he was like a real estate agent in like the
Cayman Islands or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Cody (37:05):
Trying to c like survive a little bit.
Yeah.

Heather (37:07):
We're all just doing our best whatever.
No, a

Cody (37:08):
hundred percent.

Heather (37:09):
Sometimes you just have to eat someone and then you get caught for it.
But those are my preferences.
I'm gonna deal with that after the fact.

Cody (37:15):
I'm pretty sure there's something online, like a goop for that.
So you can find your people for sure.

Heather (37:20):
Yeah.
They say you can createAI people and eat them.
Yes.
But don't do it in the real world.
No.
A hundred.
We're starting something here.
No, literally.
Um, okay, so you are body, body, body.
We're gonna berries, so we, youdidn't have body issues growing
up, but your abs are popping.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
That's great.
So take me through this now.

(37:42):
So you're, you're doingmeth with every day.
Are we at a point now?
So

Cody (37:48):
yeah.
Like.
It got progressively worse.
The funny thing is when COVID hit,

Heather (37:52):
yeah.

Cody (37:52):
I went back and lived with, with my mom and my sister and I didn't smoke
the whole time for both Lockdowns.

Heather (37:58):
When did I meet you back at Lola?
Yeah.
So how, when would that have been?
2020. Like 8 20, 20 18.

Cody (38:05):
When did you start seeing Mac for hair?

Heather (38:07):
Like 2018 ish I guess.
Okay.
Then it would've been

Cody (38:08):
then.
Okay.
'cause, because then we like for twoyears and I was like doing it then it
wasn't like, oh, you were doing it then?
I was doing it then.
Uh, it wasn't sneaky that bad.
Like I felt like it was more controlled.
I feel like it got worse after COVID.
Sure.
Um, 'cause I was like doing it,it was a bit more controlled.
I was like definitely more balanced andthen it like, yeah, I went home for COVID.

(38:31):
I just didn't do it.
Like, I just, I was like with mysister, like I just had no need to like,

Heather (38:35):
okay, okay.
Okay.
So at that point, and you'renot like feeling you need to,
you're at home, you're bored.
No, I could

Cody (38:39):
like just, I just was able to cut it off.
It definitely was like a boredom thing.
I think like a lot of, I don't know,there's a lot of things like Sure.
Um, which is why we'll get into that.
I dunno.
So I came back from COVID andit's like I hit the ground running
and I was like, balls deep.
Like

Heather (38:53):
when you came, you, so you went home?
Yeah.
Mom and sister.
And then you went to

Cody (38:57):
Stratford.
Okay.
And we remember like that July 20,21, 1, we had like the four months
where we like, were back at it.

Heather (39:02):
Yeah.

Cody (39:03):
I came back, I was doing it a little bit, uh, well, I was doing it a bit.
Um, and then I think I had two monthssober and then I was doing it again, and
then the second round hit, so then I wenthome and I wasn't, I didn't smoke for
like another like seven, eight months.

Heather (39:17):
What's the, um, impetus to start doing it again after you come back?
Is it just, I'm just like,I'm back in the city.
Like, like let's just like, were you out?

Cody (39:25):
Like No, I was just like, let's just like get back into it.
Okay.
Okay.
I just wanna sit, you know what I mean?
Let's just see where my dealer is.
And then when I came back afterthe second lockdown, it got crazy.
Like, it was just like months andlike, it was just like every day.
And like, I would like be able to like.
Smoke a little bit and thengo out and do my thing.
Like, it was just like moreintertwined in my everyday life.

(39:47):
It was no longer just like I'mstaying at home watching porn.
Like now I'm like,

Heather (39:51):
yeah,

Cody (39:52):
it's now inter like I'm a functioning meth addict.

Heather (39:54):
We're walking around during the day.

Cody (39:55):
Yeah, okay, I'm gonna smoke a little bit and I'll go do groceries.

Heather (39:58):
Yes.
Alo L which I did that too.
Totally.
With drinking and it is kind of fun.

Cody (40:05):
Yeah.
Like, and it was just like,it's a thing I'm doing.
Yeah.
Gets me, I was like living high.
I was just like, yeah, meth is euphoric.
It's amazing.
I'm having the best time.
I have all this energy.
Like it's just so great.

Heather (40:16):
No, meth isn't socially acceptable.

Cody (40:18):
Absolutely not.

Heather (40:19):
Wine is.
And so how are yourationalizing this for yourself?
Like everyone does it or 'causedrinking wine during the day we

Cody (40:29):
do it.
And that's why I was, I was like, I wasgonna say like I personally, I feel like.
Addictive different.
But like, I think getting rid oflike sober from booze is so much
more difficult for that aspect.
Mm-hmm.
In the sense of it's so publicly accepted.
It's

Heather (40:47):
everywhere.
Yeah.

Cody (40:48):
Where it's like, this was like more underground.
People didn't know that I was doing it.
Like you and like, and to me,like, you're obviously wasted, like
when you're wasted, like peoplecan tell, you know what I mean?
Like, and like, I was like, I waslike, I felt more in control when I
was like doing crystal meth that Iwas like, I'm not like super concerned
about, um, people finding out.
Like, it's like, likeobviously it's super taboo.

(41:09):
People.
Like, and like I, that was also a thing.
Like I was scared people, like,we're gonna judge me for doing it.
'cause it's like, it's like a trash drug.
It is, yeah.
Like it's not good for you.
But I was like, at leastI'm not like an asshole.
Like at least I'm likeshowing up to my job.
Like I'm being accountable to my friends.
Like all this stuff.
Like I think my I friends,I'm really rocking it.

Heather (41:25):
Yeah.

Cody (41:26):
In hindsight now I'm like, no, I wasn't.
In

Heather (41:29):
hindsight now, do you think people could notice?

Cody (41:31):
No.
People still don't know that.
Okay.
Yeah.
People still are like, I had no idea.
Like when I told people,like they were like.
Wow.
Like what the fuck?
Like I have no clue.

Heather (41:37):
Coke.
You can kind of tell withthe sweating in the eyes a

Cody (41:40):
hundred percent.
And like looking at back on like somevideos, I could see it in my eye,
but I'm also like looking for it.
Yeah.
I just think that like there's somethingabout it where it's like, I think because
I was also high functioning, like mm-hmm.
I would love to call that likethat you just couldn't tell.
Like I was just like, and I think alsobecause a lot of people kind of met
me during my addiction that it kindof seemed like that's just who I was.

Heather (42:03):
Right.

Cody (42:04):
Where I definitely feel like I was a bit more neurotic
and like erratic and like.
A little bit like less like B, likeI know I was like less balanced.
Mm-hmm.
But I'm still funny.
Okay.
Which is like my biggest thingwhen I was like, I was like, I'm
funnier when I want crystal meth.
Like if I stop us, I'm not gonna be funny.
Yeah.
No, I'm still hilarious.

Heather (42:20):
Funnier.
Yeah.
Actually, like my

Cody (42:21):
jokes make sense and actually talking in full sentences.
Yeah.

Heather (42:23):
And I'm telling jokes when the time is right.
A hundred not walking into a funeral.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Literally, God, don't let medrink when someone has died.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm gonna make it a fucking standupcomedy and no one's asking for it.
I'm like, I'm so sorry.

Cody (42:39):
No.
Literally this is my special.
And nobody wanted to be here for

Heather (42:41):
that.
No,

Cody (42:42):
literally.
But

Heather (42:43):
sit down and listen.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
Okay.
When does it start for you to get like,oh fuck, I'm, I'm addicted to this shit.

Cody (42:53):
I think it might have been like in between the COVID or
like right before COVID happened.
Okay.
And I remember like, I was like.
I would do it.
And then I was like coming down,so I would like neurotically clean,
like I would do like a deep clean,and I was just like so scared.
I was like, never gonna beable to like kick this habit.
Mm-hmm.
And I was just liketerrified that like, what?
Like this is like, like whatif I never get rid of this?

(43:15):
Like my whole life's gonna fall apart.

Heather (43:17):
Yeah.
What would that look like for you?
Because had anythingstarted to fall apart yet?
No.

Cody (43:21):
Nobody knew.
Like, I like, yeah.
I was like successful at work.
Like

Heather (43:24):
this is the scary thing for me.
When, when people are high, highfunctioning, as you say, using
drugs, what is the reason to stop?
I'm like, because you're scared, kinda.
Whoa.
No, literally what'shappening literal, like

Cody (43:37):
my life is not falling apart.
Like I've never been firedbecause of it, like Right.
I, I was convincing myselfthat I was better at my job.
Mm-hmm.
Doing high, doing high life.
Yeah.
You're special.
Like I'm, I'm incredible.
Yeah.
Like I'm, I'm more focused.
Um,

Heather (43:49):
you've made a way, you've figured out a way make meth
work for you a hundred percent.
Yeah.
And I was

Cody (43:53):
like more like doing it because I know it's not like, it's not right
to be doing it and like, it, itdoes lead to bad places, but I was
like, I'm also like, fine doing it.
Yeah.
Like, it's fine.

Heather (44:02):
But were you, were you doing anything dangerous?
Like, do you find the hookups youwere having, were they dangerous?
I guess I'm just trying to get to likewhere, where things got rocky for you.

Cody (44:14):
I'm very lucky, I feel like mm-hmm.
My rock bottom to me was like losingmy apartment and like having no
job and that never happened to me.
Sure.
What did happen was like, and my.
Yeah, my hooks probably weren't like thebest, but I've, I always kind of feel like
I've had like a good read on people soI could, I could just like get a sense.
I think I also feel like maybethere is some luck in all this.
Like what?

(44:35):
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Yes.
Like there's definitely some scenarios I'mlike, I probably need to go to that one.
Um, yeah.
And there was some times whereI'm like, I actually like said
to the guys like, go home.
Like you're not really, yeah.
You're not.
Like, one time I invited one guy over andhe brought two friends and I was like, no.
Like I did not ask for this.
And I shut the door in their face.
I was like, go home skinny.
Or like, and I'm like, if you don'tleave out, like I'll call the cops.

(44:55):
Yeah.
Which I was not gonna do.
'cause I was also full

Heather (44:57):
riddled with meth.
A hundred percent.

Cody (44:59):
But like, get the fuck outta here.

Heather (45:00):
Yeah.
Damn.

Cody (45:02):
So it was more so, um.
Do you want me to go intolike, what happened to like
being, like, to getting sober?
Do you care?
Okay.
Yeah.
So of course

Heather (45:10):
I care

Cody (45:10):
what I, um,

Heather (45:12):
I'm like, no, we can stop now.
That's good.
No, I was like, what

Cody (45:15):
kind of question was that?
No, what happened was then it was like, atmy current job, um, I had missed a shift.
This

Heather (45:22):
current job you have?

Cody (45:23):
Yes.
Okay.
So there was a couple times,like, I felt like I, okay.
There was like one time I felt like hit myhead, whatever, but I missed like, sorry.
Yeah.
I, oh yeah.
No, I, like, I was a faller in myaddiction, so there's two times where I
know it was a bad batch and like the onetime I like, couldn't stand up straight,
like I had to crawl to like my kitchenarea and then I was like super dizzy.
It was not, it was just, was not me.

Heather (45:45):
Yeah.

Cody (45:45):
And then I went to grab the, and I went and I just fell back.
Like I planked down and I smacked myhead and I was just like laying there.
I was like, what the fuck just happened?

Heather (45:53):
Oh shit.

Cody (45:54):
And then I called in sick to work that day or whatever.
And then there was anothertime actually when I got sober.
That I was like laying in myfriend's bathroom, like on the
floor, like vomiting up nothing.

Heather (46:08):
Mm.

Cody (46:08):
And then they took me comfortable, I'm jumping ahead,
but they took me to detox.
Mm-hmm.
And um, they, I was like, at St. Joe's,I think, think, oh my God, God bless.
And they have like a rightthere, they have, um, a have
like a, a, a detox house there.
Okay.
It's not like a rehab, it'sjust like you and you can go
and leave whenever you please.
Oh,

Heather (46:26):
okay.

Cody (46:26):
But they took me in and they're like, did they give you IVs or what's
No, I, I slept for like two days.
I slept for two days and they kept,they kept bringing me food, but I was
like, there was like one bed left.
And I like, luckily got it.
But I went and they were gonnasend me to the hospital, to the
emergency room because like my, whatwas happening was like, this is not
Crystal, this is something else.
Mm-hmm.
And I was like, then they'relike, are you sure it's Crystal?
Like yeah, this is crystal meth, butI've never reacted like this before.
Like, this is like something else.

(46:47):
But they were like, okay.
So they let me stay, um, in the detoxhouse and sleep it off for two days, but.
What had happened to get to thatpoint was I had missed my shift.
Um, and my boss called,um, Des, love you so much.
My, she's also my bestie.

Heather (47:05):
Mm-hmm.

Cody (47:06):
Um, and, and

Heather (47:07):
she didn't know.

Cody (47:07):
She had no clue.
And I was, she's like, um, I waslike, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
Like, I texted like Iwas supposed to be at 12.
I texted like two 30, like, oh,I'm so sorry I missed my shift.
Like, and I was like, can I talkto you later about what happened?
She's like, no, you can tell me right now.
And so I, she called her and Iwas like, I was, I just like,
I am addicted to crystal meth.
I mean, like, I just, I, it's, and like, Ialso took like, sorry, I took a Xanax too.

(47:32):
Like I was just mixing allthis shit and I was just like,

Heather (47:34):
of

Cody (47:35):
course.
At the point I was like,Ugh, I'm tired of this.
Like, and I've been trying toget sober for like, so many
years, like, and not doing it.
I was like, oh.
Just tell like, I don'tknow what came over me.
And KISS says at some point or it's

Heather (47:46):
exhausting to, it's exhausting.

Cody (47:47):
Hiding an addiction, dude.
Yes.
Like it's almost exhaust.
As exhausting as being an addictis trying to keep it under wraps.
Holy shit.
It's two jobs.
A hundred fucking percent.
Yeah.
Like it's your whole thing.
It's all consuming.
It's your whole thing.
And then I, I, I dunno whattold me to tell her, but I
was just like, I'm over this.
Like, just get like, just, it's time.
It's time.
And I bet

Heather (48:06):
you if she had said, yeah, you can tell me later, you might not have a

Cody (48:11):
hundred percent.
It's these

Heather (48:12):
weird moments of clarity.
Thank God that Des was like, um, no, no.

Cody (48:16):
Fuck you.
Yeah, you tell me right now.
'cause you missed like,

Heather (48:19):
fuck.
And do you think she kind of knew ordo you think she was just like, I'm a
busy No, she was pretty upset on the

Cody (48:22):
phone and she was like, I had no idea.
Like, oh my God.
And so, um,

Heather (48:27):
which also like, really great way to get someone
to not be mad at you anymore.
A hundred percent.

Cody (48:31):
And I'm also like, I'm just gonna trauma kid.
I'm just gonna traumatize youin the middle of your work day.
Yeah.
Like, love you so much.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I feel bad for me a hundred percent.
So she was like, okay.
We're gonna, you're gonna take the nexttwo days off, we're gonna figure this out.
Mm-hmm.
And her reaction was not one to be angry.
It was one like, you're sick,we're gonna get you help.

Heather (48:51):
Wow.

Cody (48:52):
So one of her, why does

Heather (48:52):
she know how to act like that?
Dez is like

Cody (48:55):
the queen of all queens.
Yeah.
Like, like, and know what'sso funny is there's so many
times, like I grew up Catholic.
Oh, I don't practice anymore.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but I'm whatever I would like.
I'm so sorry Al, can you?
No.
Thank you so much.

Heather (49:10):
I did too.
It's weird.
It's crazy.
We still walk back past, I was justin Ottawa and my mom walks her new dog
where she used to walk her old dog.
Mm-hmm.
At my old high school, which is Catholic.
They have the church and thenwherever the priest lives.
Yeah.
His little hobby hole.
Yeah.

Cody (49:22):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
And

Heather (49:23):
walking past it, I'm like, oh my God, that's still there.
And so many of my friends havebeen molested in that house.
Yes.
Sorry.
So triggering.
But like, so

Cody (49:32):
crazy.

Heather (49:33):
But I'm like, and it's still up.
It's a structure.
No, this is the weirdest thing.
No, it's so

Cody (49:36):
shit.

Heather (49:37):
And that the priest doesn't even want you parking in the church parking
lot when you take your dog on a walk.
And I said, mother, I think wehave some bigger issues here.
A

Cody (49:43):
hundred percent.
This is not the time.

Heather (49:45):
I digress.
You can't bring up theCatholic church without going
a little bit into No, you need

Cody (49:48):
to, you need to always bring up with the shit.
Always.
So I remember like when I was using, Iwould like, I would cry and like beg and
like just like asked God to send me Sonyin my life that I could like tell my
truth to just to get help and like Really?
Yeah.
And Des was like thatperson I know for a fact.
Like, because her reaction wasexactly what I needed in somebody.

(50:10):
Yeah.
So 'cause like we had been friendsfor like a year at that point.
Um.
I was just like, my biggest thing aboutgetting sober, I was like so scared
about how people were going to react.

Heather (50:21):
Totally.

Cody (50:21):
And her reaction like definitely saved my life.
I definitely think.
'cause it was justlike, okay, you're sick.
Like let's figure this out.
So then she contacted,just gave me goosebumps.
Yeah.
She contacted Alita, who runs her own,um, sobriety, like companion company.

Heather (50:36):
Oh.

Cody (50:36):
Um, and then that's how she got me into the detox at St. Joe's.
Wow.
And then she connected me to myhome group and all that stuff.
So it was kind of cra meant to be like,

Heather (50:44):
wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, you literally just like fell into thearms of someone who was like so ready to

Cody (50:49):
crazy.
Like it was just meant to be.
And it's like

Heather (50:51):
making me like.

Cody (50:52):
Crazy, right?
Yeah.
Like, like, you know, you kindof ask and you shall receive.
And I think like

Heather (50:56):
yeah, the

Cody (50:56):
universe knew it was time.
Yeah.
I was ready to like, letthis part of myself go.
Yeah.
Um, and to move forward.
Uh, and that it was no longer servingme 'cause I was, I was tired of it.
Mm-hmm.
I was exhausting.
Like, and it wasn't fun anymore.
Like it was just like doingit to keep up with it.
But it's like the party

Heather (51:12):
ended so long ago and you're like, fuck, I'm gonna do this forever.
Literally it was so funny

Cody (51:16):
at first.
Now I'm just like, oh, it's the same shit.
Like, I watched the same fourporns that I love and like Yeah.

Heather (51:21):
And now you're not even really doing it with anyone.
You're just alone.
Oh, myself.
The same four porns.
No, literally

Cody (51:27):
I had my four porns that I loved.
I had like a whole file, obviously.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
A picture that I love, but Iwould always watch the same four
ones because I love them so much.
Yeah.
Well you know what it'sgonna do a hundred percent.
But you're right.
Like I wasn't like going out doingit like I was just at myself at home.
You, I'm experiencing

Heather (51:39):
porn.

Cody (51:40):
No, no.
I'm just like isolating at this point.
Yeah.
Like, I'm not like connecting to people.
So.

Heather (51:45):
Yeah.

Cody (51:45):
It was just like, it was time to like stop chasing that dragon.
Yeah.
And like let it go.
Mm-hmm.
And chase a new one that's more fun.

Heather (51:54):
Well, now you're running, which is also an addiction hundred, but we're
gonna just percent no put on the burn.
No.
Let's like, I, you know what,like we gotta have something
a hundred percent something

Cody (52:03):
addictive personalities, whatever they call

Heather (52:05):
it,

Cody (52:06):
like, yeah.

Heather (52:07):
Zoe just posted a Instagram or a TikTok that was
like, does anyone else eat?
Like she had the full bunchof grapes and she's like, does
anyone else eat grapes like this?
Or is this just the addict in me whocan't, like, who doesn't have the patience
to like take them off into a bowl?
Right.
I'm like, damn, that's everything.
I just chuck everything into Its, yeah,

Cody (52:25):
just like gotta do it.

Heather (52:26):
Are you a really clean person?

Cody (52:28):
I am now.

Heather (52:28):
You are?

Cody (52:29):
Yeah.
I lo like, yeah, my, and especially mynew place, like I'm definitely going to,

Heather (52:34):
that's like the one thing sobriety didn't give me, I
mean multiple things, but like,I was like, when I get sober, I'm
gonna be so organized and clean.
I'm gonna be like the girl I wanna be.
Oh my God.
No, it, it's not happening for you.

Cody (52:44):
No,

Heather (52:45):
it's not happening for me.
No, but you know what?
I think other things are happening for me.
I definitely

Cody (52:49):
think so.

Heather (52:50):
Like I'm prettier.
I can't, do you remember when Iused to come into the salon and cry?
Do you remember that?
There was one time I was getting myextensions in and I was sitting there
for like four hours and I would sawmy face in the mirror and it was
so big from wine and I was like.
I just sat there forlike an hour and cried.
It was horrible.

Cody (53:08):
Amazing.

Heather (53:09):
Max's like, I'm still gonna get these in your hair though, right?
Yeah, yeah,

Cody (53:13):
yeah.
She's about the job.
She's about the job.

Heather (53:15):
But that's the thing.
The green tea, the juice cleansesall the blueberries, hair extensions.
Yeah.
I'm like, what's gonnaactually make me better?
Yeah.
Hair extensions are gonna make me better.
A hundred

Cody (53:23):
percent.
Not getting sober.
Not that, no.
Well that could

Heather (53:25):
be.
That's crazy.

Cody (53:26):
Yeah.
That's No, that's never gonna happen.
I'm just gonna do all this other stuff.

Heather (53:28):
Right.
But like we're saying, it's likeat some point you're like, I've
used pretty much every excuseto everybody else and to myself.
Yeah.
You're like, no, I can't evenreally rationalize for myself.
'cause I don't evenbelieve my own bullshit.
No.
And then when you, okay,so you admit it to Des.
Yeah.
Godsend.
And then they get you intodetox pretty much right away.

Cody (53:51):
Totally.
I was like, I was like, I thinkit was like the next day or
whatever I went to, like my friendCourtney, she came and picked me up.
Um, and then that's where I was like,like I was just like not doing well.
Like it just took a turn.
I was like, fine.
I was

Heather (54:04):
gonna say, how's your withdrawal?

Cody (54:06):
Not at, I definitely think alcohol's worse.
Like, I didn't get this.
Like, I know that's crazy.
You know, that

Heather (54:12):
alcohol's the only detox that can kill you.

Cody (54:14):
Yeah.
Like alcohol's fuckingcrazy and we all drink it.
No, it's fucking crazy, dude.
Yeah.
I just remember being like, I, like I had,I guess I'd always been like with through
withdrawal when I would like sober up.
So it just like, you're really tired andthen you're hungry and like a little bit
irritable, but it's like not that bad.
Okay.
And math is the onlydrug you can sleep off.

Heather (54:33):
Really, you

Cody (54:34):
metabolize it differently because of the way that it's
made, like of all this bullshit.
So it's like you can't get to sleep,but once you do, you like, you
cleanse it from your body, really?
You'll like sweat it out.
All this shit.
So it's like you can like wake up andlike, it's like you never really did it.

Heather (54:47):
Okay, so your detox isn't necessarily like all the shape?
No, no, no,

Cody (54:49):
no.
You just get yourself some, likesome sleep and you're, who's the

Heather (54:53):
shakes?
Heroin.
Heroin Must be the shakes.
Yeah.

Cody (54:55):
Yeah.
I think And opiates a hundred percent.
All that shit where it's like affectsyou differently, but like, mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Meth.
You can, you can you digestdifferently so you can sleep it off.
Damn.
Kinda like, I guess you can kindof sleep alcohol off a little
bit, but it's also very different.
Like

Heather (55:08):
Yeah.
But the withdrawal, the hangover.
The hangover.
You get

Cody (55:11):
no hangover with meth.
Like you, I wake up and I'm like,I, I got, I gotta go outta sleep.
I feel great.

Heather (55:15):
Really?
Yeah.

Cody (55:16):
It's crazy.

Heather (55:17):
That's so interesting.
A hundred percent.

Cody (55:19):
At least for me, at least, that was my experience.
Yeah.
You guys

Heather (55:21):
all go try it and report back.
Yeah.
Let us know.

Cody (55:23):
Let us know.
We'll have a chart.

Heather (55:24):
Yeah, we'll have a chart.
Let us know.
We're only gonna do it once andwe're only gonna do it in the house.
And then report back and then we'll allgo hundred to rehab at the same time.

Cody (55:34):
Exactly.
There'll be a little party in there.

Heather (55:36):
So you never went to rehab?

Cody (55:37):
No.
Wow.
Very

Heather (55:39):
impressive.
Very impressive.
So when you're in detox, you're sitting indetox, are you like, yeah, this is good.
I need to be here?
Or are you like, fuck, what did I just do?

Cody (55:47):
No, it was good.
I was scared.
I was like, ugh.
I was like so tired thatI slept for two days.
And then I think I had like oneday and I was like, I was like,
I was like, I don't belong here.
Like, yeah, I don't, like, theymoved me up to like a room upstairs
where I had like roommates, um,

Heather (56:01):
with a, with all the other drug users.

Cody (56:03):
Yeah.
Like, so they had two to a room.
Um, and I had likelittle cubby for my shit.
Mm-hmm.
And they could bring melike snacks and stuff.
Um, but I was just like, I don't belong.
You're like,

Heather (56:13):
are these, um, are these natural?
Yeah.
Are these, are these from Whole Foods?
'cause I'm not puttingany, my body's a temple.
No.

Cody (56:18):
Uh, literally.
Yeah.
And I only drank bubbly.
Thank you so much.

Heather (56:22):
Thank you so much.

Cody (56:23):
But I was like,

Heather (56:24):
what was your roommate doing?
Was he on drugs?
What kind of drugs?
There was two.

Cody (56:28):
Yeah.
I think it was like mostly alcohol.
Maybe some drugs too.
We didn't, I didn'treally talk to anybody.
I was like very quiet,like very to myself there.

Heather (56:34):
That's very surprising.
Yeah.
I

Cody (56:35):
didn't like interact.
I just was like, I don't belong here.
Like, these are like, I'mnot like these people.
Oh.
Like I was being a bit of an asshole in

Heather (56:40):
my head.
These are, these aredirty, rotten drug users.
Like, like they,

Cody (56:42):
like they, they, they've been through here a bunch of times.
Like, this is just not me.
Like, I'm not like, I am like,I'm, my life is together.

Heather (56:48):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm making this choice.
A hundred

Cody (56:51):
percent.

Heather (56:51):
Yeah.

Cody (56:52):
So then I, my mom came to visit.

Heather (56:54):
Okay.
Your mom didn't know.

Cody (56:56):
My mom didn't know.
My dad ended up telling my momand my sister what was happening.
Scary.
A hundred percent.
How did you feel about that?
That was fine.
I was like, I was terrified to tell them.
Okay, great.

Heather (57:05):
Thanks Dez.

Cody (57:06):
Yeah.
So that was really, really, I'mlike lucky, like in that sense where
then my mom came and we like walked.
Um, and I was like, Ijust don't wanna be here.
Like, I wanna come home and like.
And so she was like, that's fine,that's, and then we packed my stuff up
and she took me home for like, the week.

Heather (57:23):
Hmm.

Cody (57:23):
Um, and she's not

Heather (57:24):
mad at you?

Cody (57:24):
No, she was like more concerned.
Okay.
My sister was too, but my sisterwas, my sister was not super happy
when I came home 'cause she wasn'taware that I was coming home.
Oh.
And she was like, he needs to be in detox.
Like, getting help.
Right.
I think it was just like a scarytime for everybody to be like,
how is what's gonna happen here?
Like, is this, are we just, is thislike, it's like a new life where

(57:45):
it's like, are we gonna be goingthrough this crazy cycle with him?

Heather (57:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, we don't know what this means.
We're just, we're justfinding his out, but we

Cody (57:51):
had no idea he had a fucking addiction and now like we do.
Yeah.
And like, how much supposed to handlethis, like what's supposed to happen next?
Mm-hmm.
Like, am

Heather (57:59):
I locking all my shit up?
Am I like literally, is this gonna

Cody (58:01):
be 20 years of bullshit with him?
Like, is my relationship gonna change?
Like, am I gonna watch him go downhill?

Heather (58:06):
Yeah.
It's pretty polarizing.
It

Cody (58:07):
really is.
So you don't know.
And so I think because I was readyto go, like ready to sober up, um.
It made the world a difference for me.
Yeah.
And I was like willing to do so.

Heather (58:18):
Yeah.
How long do you think youwere ready to sober up?
Oh,

Cody (58:21):
I think I was ready like five years.
I was, yeah.
Really?
I was like so over.
I was really trying to like cut itand I would like buy some, I would
smoke it and then I would like, Iwould buy a hundred dollars worth
and I would throw like $90 away.
Like I would just be likedumping it down, like the sink,
that toilet, getting rid of it.

Heather (58:35):
Mm-hmm.

Cody (58:36):
But I would go buy more.

Heather (58:37):
I used to do that with food.
Yeah.
I never did it with alcohol except onetime when my ex, I thought I was up early
enough, it was like 6:00 AM and he, buthe had a sense, it's like when kids go
into their mom's room and they're like,I'm gonna throw up, moms are like awake.
Yeah.
He had that with anything cracking openand he woke up and I was like pouring,
trying to pour it into a water bottle.
And then he came out and I just likepoured it into the sink and I was like,

(58:58):
oh, I just really wanna drink this.
So I'm pouring it out like so crazy.
Yeah.
Food I would.
Do that.
Yeah.
I would get a pizza, eat oneslice, throw it out, and then in
the middle of the night pull thepizza outta the garbage and eat it.
Yeah.
All the time.
I was always eating food from the garbage.
Yeah.
In Boston I would get Oreos and I wouldeat them and when I was like, okay, you've

(59:18):
binged ate too much, I would just throwthem out the window into the alley and
I'm like, the rats will get them a hundred

Cody (59:24):
percent.
This is your dessert guys.
And I

Heather (59:25):
can't go to the alley and get them's.
They're covered in rats.
Yeah.
That'll keep me from doing it ahundred percent, but not the garbage.
No, absolutely No garbage is the fridge.

Cody (59:33):
No.
A hundred.
Yeah.
It's just a one version of it.
There's my food in there.

Heather (59:38):
Okay, so you get sober, you're at your mom's and that's

Cody (59:42):
going well?
A hundred percent.
I was there for like a week.
Came back.
Okay.
Um.
Then they changed my schedule.
So they were like, usually like an,like a new sober person should not
have more than two days off in a row.
Like you, I should like, so like Iwas working, should not have more
Tuesday, Wednesday off, Thursday,Friday, Saturday off Sunday.
So they didn't give me two days off.
So I couldn't find any trouble to get into

Heather (01:00:03):
hey,

Cody (01:00:04):
and then they changed my schedule.
So I would have, um, meetingswere a priority, so I was like,
I didn't do the 90 and 90.
I was doing like two meetingsor three meetings a week.

Heather (01:00:13):
Yeah.
The 90 and 90 is 90 meetings and 90 days.
Yes.
Yes.
Which you're supposed todo when you get sober.

Cody (01:00:18):
A hundred percent.
And then I had a sheet that I had to getpeople to sign off on my meetings, and
then I would bring it to, oh yeah, this islike, it was like, they were like, if you
wanna work here, like, we have some rules.

Heather (01:00:27):
Oh, Des did this.
Des did this.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
And I was like,

Cody (01:00:30):
obviously, like, you know, all right girl.
No, she was not fucking around.
No, no.
Like, um,

Heather (01:00:36):
friend, business owner.
And very serious.
Yeah.

Cody (01:00:39):
Literally like, it was like, it was like multiple hats, a hundred percent.
Like, she like really held me accountable.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so I would have to go, I wouldgo get that sign and they would
sign off and they would sign off onlike the, the sheet that I brought
in, like a baby, a hundred percent.
Mm-hmm.
So I was doing that.
Um, so I got sober July, 2022.
And then I had, what's your

Heather (01:01:00):
date?

Cody (01:01:00):
So now it's September 8th.
'cause I had a little relapse Okay.
From meth four months into my sobriety.
Okay.
Okay.
Just a little bit of meth.
A hundred percent.
Just like one night.
And I was like, no, Ishouldn't be here doing this.
And I cut it off.
Wow.
Um, and then I broke thattrust, so that really hurt.
Um.

Heather (01:01:17):
Wait.
Okay.
So let's get to there.
So you're, you're signing off.
Everything is going good.
Mm-hmm.
So for four monthsyou're going to meetings.
Mm-hmm.
You gonna meetings, you're gonna work.
You're feeling good?
I'm

Cody (01:01:26):
feeling great.
It was just like one random night.
I was, I was just like, let's,let's just go find some trouble.
Let's just go to it by yourself.
A hundred percent.
Okay.
But I went to a guy's place and he had it.

Heather (01:01:36):
Mm-hmm.

Cody (01:01:36):
Um,

Heather (01:01:37):
and you did, you know, he had it.
Okay.

Cody (01:01:39):
Yeah.
So you're seeking out, so I waskind of going there for that.
Um,

Heather (01:01:42):
did you, why are you testing yourself?
Are you I think

Cody (01:01:45):
I was pushing boundaries a little bit.
Okay.
I was being a bit, I think I wasbeing a bit of a brat to just be like,

Heather (01:01:49):
it happens though, right?
Yeah.
Like, we get sober and we'relike, I, I'm still funny.
I'm cool.
I have friends.
Hundred percent.
My life is better.
Four months to an addict is a lifetime.
Yes.
So you're like, well,maybe I'm better now.
Let's just try it.
Totally.
And did you know immediately?
Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no.
I was

Cody (01:02:06):
like, I fucked up.

Heather (01:02:07):
Yeah.
And you had to tell I was so, I was, yeah.

Cody (01:02:09):
I was like there for like maybe two hours.
I smoked some and then I was like, I.
This is not for me anymore.
Okay.
Like, it was actually kind of like,how was your tolerance at that point?
Or is it always like

Heather (01:02:22):
it,

Cody (01:02:23):
it was like you, I could definitely go back to like, you
know how they say, like, you goback to it right where you left off.
So it's like, I could definitelycould just kept smoking more.

Heather (01:02:30):
Okay.

Cody (01:02:30):
I definitely was hitting the pipe like pretty hard.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I was like, I was likeseeing an old friend again.
Oh

Heather (01:02:35):
yeah.

Cody (01:02:36):
Yeah.
But then I remember just like, wehad sex and then I was like, done.
And I was like, I, I don't like that.
Like, this is not who I am anymore.
Like, it was kind like, yeah.
Obviously it's like unfortunate,but it was good to like, I
almost like needed to do that.
Sure.
For the reminder to be like,I'm not this person anymore.
Like, I'm actually so proud of thejourney that I've, like, we're,

(01:02:57):
this is like the final goodbye.
Like, yeah, we're done here.
Like, I'm, I'm glad that I saw you.
But never again.

Heather (01:03:03):
But now I know you're not for me a hundred percent.
Like now don't do that.
No, don't fucking test it.

Cody (01:03:09):
A hundred percent.

Heather (01:03:09):
But that is really amazing Yeah.
That you were able to beobjective about it and be like,
I am actually good on this.
Yeah.
I would be afraid.
Yeah.
Like for me, I, I can't, I can't.
I know a hundred percent like I'm a demon.
Yeah.
Like a, a whiff of wine andI'm like, let's fucking go.
I, um, I like what you justsaid about an old friend.

(01:03:30):
Yeah.
That always makes me so sentimental.
I was listening to Pete Davidsonon Theo Theo Vaughn's podcast.
Mm-hmm.
Which is like, not my podcast.
Yeah.
But that's what, um, Pete was saying.
He's like, you know, 'cause he's sobernow and he's saying like, you know,
at some point you lose everybody andmy drugs are my friends and those
are the only things I care about.

(01:03:51):
And I'm like, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I, when I think back about,when I think back on alcohol, I.
It's hard.
I don't miss it.
I don't want to be drunk.
I don't wanna drink.
But that was a huge part of my life.
Mm-hmm.
And that girl, ugh, it's so hard.

(01:04:12):
Maybe I'm not far enough awayfrom alcohol yet, but I had major
eating disorders growing up.
Mm-hmm.
Like, looked crazy, felt crazy.
And when I couldn't handle it anymoreand I had to start eating, I missed her.
Yeah.
I missed that girl so much who was like,so motivated, so fucking passionate about
being skinny and like it's neurotic.

(01:04:32):
Yeah.
And I'm like, how, why can'tI find, like, I, I miss her.
Like that poor little girl nowwith alcohol, I'm just like, I
think I'm still, I think I havelike shame around it a little bit.
Mm-hmm.
And 'cause I don't missalcohol, but I'm like, I feel.
I feel for that girl whosefriends were alcohol.
Yeah.
You know?
Totally.
And that was a really,really intense friendship.

(01:04:55):
I guess that that's what I'm trying tosay is like the breakup with substances.
Yeah.
It, you're breaking up with yourself.

Cody (01:05:01):
Yeah.
Like it's like you can, it'slike you can grieve a loss.
Like, it's like, yeah.
Like you're like losing a version ofyourself that like, you're also not always
like, like ready to let go because youknow you need to do it to save your life
and to be successful and move forward.
But let's be on like, if there wasa way to do both, we would like if
we could have both of these Right,and have two things be the same,

(01:05:25):
like be true like we would Yeah.
But it's like I can't smoke methand have life that I have now.

Heather (01:05:30):
No, that's exactly right.
You know what I

Cody (01:05:32):
mean?
So it's like, what do I want?

Heather (01:05:33):
That's actually one of the things we got pushed back on once on
TikTok when it was like, if I. I'm,I'm sober and I get to live this life.
Yeah.
I don't get any of it.
I don't get friendships.
I don't get this, I don't get myparents, I don't get my dog, I
don't get anything, A job, nothing.
Yeah.
So I, that's my choice in life.

(01:05:54):
And I think once you come to thatconclusion of like, oh, I'm the, I'm a
person who will throw it all away mm-hmm.
For this one substance.
Yeah.
Are you okay?
I'll throw it away For a man.
A hundred, I will throwmy fucking life away.
A hundred percent.
And I think getting off substances,you're like, oh, I'm number one.
Yeah.
I'm number one.

(01:06:14):
I'm my friend.
Like, I, I like, it is somuch better on this side.
And

Cody (01:06:19):
you get to create a life that you do not want to throw away, right?
Yes.
Yes.
Like, you get to like, likeI think there's also like
a lot of fear about like.
When you're doing it, like it's, it'skind of comforting 'cause you're walking
yourself on like your true potential.
Yeah.
So you kind of feel sick,you know what I mean?
You're kind of like, I could bethis amazing person, but I'm doing
all these things, so I'm not like,I'm not reaching my full potential.

(01:06:41):
But like, it's because like,and it's almost like who, it's
like, who am I without this?
Yeah.
Like, am I gonna be like, am I actuallyjust like a piece of shit or am I a loser?
Like

Heather (01:06:51):
Yeah.
And have I waited too long toever even reach my potential?
A hundred percent.
Right.
Like, yeah.
That was a big thing with me fordance, where I, I gave up dance and
then I started drinking and I waslike, that's, that was my potential.
Mm-hmm.
That was my thing.
That's where my life wasgoing and I fucked it.
And so now I have nothing and I'm nevergonna be anything because that was my one.

(01:07:12):
Mm-hmm.
And I made a choice to have an addiction.
You don't, but I made a choice and it's,it's really, I dunno where I'm going with
that, but it's really hard to figure outwho you are without these substances.

Cody (01:07:25):
A hundred percent.
Because it's become your identity.

Heather (01:07:26):
How long were you on drugs?

Cody (01:07:29):
Like, almost like 10 years.
Yeah.

Heather (01:07:31):
Okay.
Me too.
Yeah.
Like a decade.
It's, and it's your twenties,

Cody (01:07:35):
like your most, like your, some of your most formative times mm-hmm.
Where it's like you're supposed to haveall these experiences and I was at home
fucking smoking meth half the time.

Heather (01:07:45):
Yeah.

Cody (01:07:45):
But I still feel like, no, like, like I just, this is so fun.
No, literally like having the best time.
I, but I also so thankful Yeah.
That it was in my twenties.
Yeah.
Because your, your twenties are alsomeant to learn and to grow and to fuck up.
And I fucked up a lot when you had a slip.

(01:08:06):
Mm-hmm.

Heather (01:08:07):
You told, you told, you told everybody.

Cody (01:08:09):
I told Dez and obviously, like it was devastating for her.
Like, yeah.
I think it just becomes like, once again,it's like, is this gonna be our cycle?
Yeah.

Heather (01:08:18):
Like, what does this mean?
Mm-hmm.
Like, it, it,

Cody (01:08:21):
yeah.
Like, am I gonna have to also,am I gonna have to fire him?
Like,

Heather (01:08:25):
yeah.

Cody (01:08:25):
So then, um, I, yeah, I told her, um, we, it wasn't like, I
wasn't making a public knowledge yet.
I was just gonna, like, I went and like,I signed like a new contract for work.
Um, that made it like very clear, like,if anything happens again, like I'm out,
like, which is like so hard for everyone.

(01:08:47):
It's hard, but it's like, I wasjust like, I totally understand.
Like, um, I need, likethis needs to be done.
Yeah.
So I definitely think like ourfriendship was affected by that too.
Because I broke, like I broke, I hurt her.
Like I broke that trust.

Heather (01:09:02):
Yeah.

Cody (01:09:03):
Um, I remember like I, it took a little bit, but she finally, she's
like, I'm ready to be friends again.
Like, we're good.
So, but I, I, yeah.

Heather (01:09:09):
It's, it's, it's the other side of it.
You, I'm not

Cody (01:09:12):
the, I'm not the only one Yeah.
In this now.
Yeah.
Like when, like, you know, I told mytruth and like, that's amazing for me.
Mm-hmm.
But now I'm also sucking allthese people into the addiction.
Yeah.
Where it's like, now all thisfear exists, like it was, yeah.
It's so refreshing for me mm-hmm.
To be able to tell my truth, whichis incredible and needs to do that.
Mm-hmm.
But now it's like, I have allthis people, there's collateral.

Heather (01:09:32):
Yeah.
And your best friend is also your boss.
Yeah.
So you're like, fuck, I'mgonna lose a friend and a job.

Cody (01:09:38):
Uh, and one foul swoop.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
And

Heather (01:09:40):
she has to do

Cody (01:09:41):
that a hundred.
I remember, like she said, that my momwas like, if you need to fire him, like.
You need to like do what's best for you.
Like, yeah, everybody even I knew that.
I was like, if, if I need to get firedfor this, like, I was like, mm-hmm.
You've worked hard for this.
Like, I can't be the one to take it down.
Like that's not fair to you.
And like, no, that's selfishof me to expect otherwise

Heather (01:10:01):
it's one thing if you're just her friend,

Cody (01:10:03):
a hundred percent,

Heather (01:10:04):
but, or just an employee that she doesn't care about.
Yeah.
But it is, it is fucking rough.
Also,

Cody (01:10:08):
it's like I am not also like say I, like, somehow I had the
power to like destroy the whole bit.
Like it's not just me.
Like I, there's 15 other peoplethat now also are at up top.
Yeah.
And people are out money because,um, they invested like all this shit.
So it's like

Heather (01:10:23):
mm-hmm.

Cody (01:10:24):
It's crazy.

Heather (01:10:25):
And I think as an addict I go back and forth with like babying
an addict and giving them empathy.
But I think consequences areincredibly important for us.
A hundred percent.
I do think it can goone of two ways though.
Yeah.
I think it can be what I'm assuminghappened with you and you were like.
No, you're right.
I'm good.
I'm buckling down.
Let's fucking stop this.

Cody (01:10:45):
Yeah, a hundred

Heather (01:10:46):
percent.
Or you can go, everyone's mad at me.
Everybody hates me.
I'm such a fucking piece of shit.
I'm going to fuck up again.
Mm-hmm.
So I'm going to take myself outtathe job, take myself outta the
friendship and fucking smokemeth for the rest of my life.

Cody (01:10:58):

Heather (01:10:59):
That happened to me.
Yeah.
Like people left me and Iwas like, well, fuck you.

Cody (01:11:04):
Yeah.

Heather (01:11:04):
You don't get it.
Totally.
You know,

Cody (01:11:06):
I also feel like this is, sometimes I feel like I'm a bit harsh when it c I'm
like, you either want it or you don't.
And like at that time period, like yeah,you, like, you either have to be sober
and put the work in, or you don't, andlike people can't want that for you.

Heather (01:11:20):
No.
And people can't want you into wanting

Cody (01:11:24):
a hundred percent.

Heather (01:11:25):
And I, I think that's a frustrating piece where
it's like, go get clean.
Go get clean.
It's like, yes, but we all have toget to a place where now we want it.

Cody (01:11:34):
You have to believe that you're also worth, I think it's like a
lot of self worth stuff where it'slike, am I worth getting sober?
And I'm like, I can'thelp you with that, babe.
Like mm-hmm.
I think like you have towant the life for yourself.

Heather (01:11:47):
Yeah.
And

Cody (01:11:47):
you ha like, is it incredible?
Absolutely.
Is it hard work?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Like, and you are gonna lose some thingsand like, you know, there, especially
if you have like a big community oflike, depending on how you party, like
people who, like, who you are closeto, but they're big party animals.
Mm-hmm.
You are gonna lose them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's part of it.
But, but what you gain is season reason in

Heather (01:12:08):
lifetime,

Cody (01:12:09):
literally.
Yeah.
And what you gain is worth it.
Like, you, you gain clarity.
Like you can actuallylike live a life now.
Like I know your life isn't revolvingaround like a fucking bottle or a pipe.
There's so much space or aline, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, it's so much better for you.
Like it's scary as hell dude.
And like, oh, ugh, you don't,you don't know how it's gonna go.
That could be like a long time for you.

Heather (01:12:31):
Yeah.

Cody (01:12:31):
But it's worth it in the end, like.
It's such an incredible experienceto be able to go through.
I'm actually so thankful it waslike an addict for so many years.
'cause it's like,

Heather (01:12:39):
yeah, I'm getting

Cody (01:12:40):
there.

Heather (01:12:41):
Yeah.

Cody (01:12:42):
And you like, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like everybody's like,timeline is different.
I also just feel like, um, I have likegood direction in my life, but about like
where I wanna go and what I want be doing.
Yeah.
Not, not everybody has it, which iswhy I come back to the people who
like are like religiously a people.
Mm-hmm.
Because it keeps them sober.
Like I don't feel like I needthat because I have other avenues

(01:13:02):
in my life that I staying sober.
Other things to hold onto.
Yes.
Yep.
Yep.
A hundred percent.

Heather (01:13:05):
Yeah.
It really is just what works for you.
Like I know Zoe loves it.
Like she's met a lot of great girlsthere and like that's a nice lifeline.
I'm in therapy.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's a really great lifeline for me.
Yeah.
You know, this is a great lifeline.
A hundred percent.
So this is

Cody (01:13:17):
like when I talk about, like, when I say like, like one of like,
this is like, that's why I wouldalso like love to be a sponsor

Heather (01:13:22):
Yeah.
To

Cody (01:13:23):
talk about this.
Mm-hmm.
But like this is more like, this isbetter for me than going to a big room.
Yeah.
At this, at this point.
Like, who knows?
Like in a year could be different.
Sure.
But I do love.
More intimate because it, I can reallyjust, like, it's a conversation.

Heather (01:13:37):
Yeah.

Cody (01:13:37):
I'm not waiting to, to say my piece.
I can just say whatever I want, when

Heather (01:13:41):
I want and you know that everyone around me Yes.
Is not waiting to say my piece,like I'm listening and I'm here.
Exactly.
Yeah.
No, it's really great.
I, I really appreciateyou telling your story.
Obviously we have so much more to getinto, into No, we have a hundred percent.
I'm so glad we're friends now.
I know.
Literally, thank God I've beenwaiting for this for years.

Cody (01:13:59):
No.
Perfect.

Heather (01:14:00):
Um, that's when you say, yeah, me too.
Me too.
Thank you.
Comes to my house.
No literal insults.
You, insults, insults,insults me in front of my son.
If you, um, I mean, I, I think we did,you did touch on it, but if there's
any advice in your head you have forsomeone who is struggling or even

(01:14:25):
someone in DE's position, do you haveany advice for someone struggling
with drugs who wants to get clean?

Cody (01:14:32):
Be honest, like honesty is the best policy.
Like the truth will set you free.
Like it's the scariest part for meonce again, was to like, tell my truth.

Heather (01:14:41):
Yeah.

Cody (01:14:42):
But once I did everything, like just started to fall into place for me.
Mm-hmm.
Because I was being honest about it.
Like, I think like secrets keep you sick,like hiding it makes it so much worse.
Yeah.
And people have the right to be pissedoff and you can't be mad about that.
That's unfortunately a consequenceof the actions we choose.

Heather (01:15:00):
Yeah.

Cody (01:15:00):
But you can't let that stop you from like, finding the best life for yourself.

Heather (01:15:05):
So true.
So

Cody (01:15:05):
be honest with that.
And then for anybody, like inde position is like, you need
to do what's best for you.
Hmm.
And like, you can love somebody, um,and if they sink or swim does not
make you like a good or bad person.
Like Yeah.
You need to, you also are helping likethey need to, like you can't baby them.
Mm-hmm.
You can't baby them.
I don't, I, I personally thinkthat babying them doesn't do shit.

(01:15:27):
Yeah.
Like you need to.
I, they like, you needto have consequences.
Like they need to know, like,this is not a fucking game.

Heather (01:15:34):
Yeah.
I feel, I mean, I wasn't in your position,but I feel the way that Des handled it,
hope she's cool with us saying her name.
Yeah.
I'm, she is.
She's

Cody (01:15:41):
a star.

Heather (01:15:42):
Yeah.
And so pretty

Cody (01:15:44):
a hundred Oh yeah, that's the queen.
Especially with a side part.
She knows what I mean about that.
I love her in a

Heather (01:15:49):
and then outfits and just like, stunning, stunning.
Beautiful.
It's a lot sometimes to walk intothat salon and everyone is so pretty
and I'm like, this guys take it down.
Yeah.
But you fit in there.
Well, once, once my hair is then toned.
Yeah.
Then I'm like, okay, I'mallowed to be here now.
Now I'm back.
I come in as like a hundred percent.
Um, I feel like she handledit the best way I feel.
I think that

Cody (01:16:09):
exactly.
She, I, the, I told her becauseshe gave me what I needed.
Like it's like the universe knew.

Heather (01:16:16):
Yeah.

Cody (01:16:17):
Like I needed what she.
How she reacted.
That's what I needed.
Yeah.
And that's what worked out.
And

Heather (01:16:22):
I think that's why you told her that is the right reaction.
Mm-hmm.
That's how you handle it.

Cody (01:16:27):
I think that we're more afraid of the reaction.
Like I think we're more, yeah.
I think also because like you try to getsober for so long that you can't do it.
Yeah.
So you're afraid that it's just notgonna, but once people know mm-hmm.
Like people want you to go torehab, they're happy for that.
Oh yeah.
They're like, like, you're right.
Like, thank fucking Godthey're getting help.
Like this is the first step.

Heather (01:16:46):
Yeah.

Cody (01:16:46):
And like people will be willing to help you.
Like they're, you, you, I understandthe fear, but you, I think it's
at this point, like it's kind ofirrational because people will want
you to be the best version of yourself.
Will it be like maybea little disappointed?
Like shocked and upset.
Yeah.
But they're not mad.
Mm-hmm.
They're scared.
Yeah.
They're also scared for you.
Like a lot of it's like fear of like.
Fuck losing you.
Yeah.
Like my person, like what'sgonna happen to them?

Heather (01:17:07):
Yeah.

Cody (01:17:08):
Um,

Heather (01:17:08):
and a lot of people don't understand addiction and drugs and
so it's quite polarizing at first.
A hundred

Cody (01:17:14):
percent.

Heather (01:17:14):
So yeah, once you get into rehab and you start getting
sober, everyone will be fine.
A hundred percent.
But yeah.
Okay.
Well I'm so happy you came in.
You thank so much for having me.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Um, I love you.
I love you.
I'm so fucking proud of you.
You too.
And thank god you're here.
Yeah,

Cody (01:17:31):
me too.
I'm happy to be here.

Heather (01:17:32):
Yeah.
Love you so much.
Love you.
Proud of you.
Bye.
The thanks for listening to Girl Un Drunk.
You can follow us on Instagram andTikTok at Girl Un Drunk podcast.
And or send me an email atheather@girlundrunk.com.

Cody (01:17:54):
Okay.
That was so good.
That was so good.
I love that.
And every

Heather (01:17:58):
camera kept working the whole time.

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