The internet's still broken, folks, and apparently, AI's here to make it more awkward. Intel caught a break from Uncle Sam's CHIPS Act, cool for them, not so much for those 'flashing warning signs' in the job market. Meta's been letting celebrity chatbots run wild (and creepy), Midjourney's getting sued by Warner Bros. for stealing IP (who'da thought?), and OpenAI thinks an AI hiring platform is a good idea. Plus, an AI chatbot automated a cybercrime spree, totally unexpected. If you're calling ChatGPT a 'clanker,' you're not wrong, but seriously? Your butt probably needs a break from the toilet.
Elon Musk and his joyride of companies continue to make us wonder if we're living in a dystopian satire. Tesla got slapped with a $243 million verdict after rejecting a $60 million settlement (because that's how you make deals, right?). 'Key data' they said they didn't have? A hacker found it. His vague 'master plan' sounds like a last-minute college essay, and software deploys airbags before you crash. His quest for a trillion-dollar pay package is on, and Neuralink can't even trademark 'telepathy.' They're doing brain surgeries in Toronto now. What could go wrong?
On the lighter side, Finland built a giant sand battery, which is cool, and iOS 26 finally gave iPads a native Instagram app after, like, forever. We've got movie reviews, TV binges (Wednesday is really good), and a deep dive into KPop Demon Hunters (seriously, listen to the songs). FIFA's jacking up World Cup ticket prices with dynamic pricing (of course they are), and Morrissey's selling his stake in The Smiths (probably to escape his own 'malicious associations'). If you're still reading Usenet threads from '94, you're either a sadist or Dave.
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FOLLOW UP
The US government drops its CHIPS Act requirements for Intel
America’s job market flashes yet another warning sign about the economy
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IN THE NEWS
Tesla rejected $60 million settlement before losing $243 million Autopilot verdict
Tesla said it didn’t have key data in a fatal crash. Then a hacker found it.
Tesla has a new master plan—it just doesn’t have any specifics
Tesla Software Update Will Deploy Airbags Before Crash Actually Happens
Trump to host tech CEOs for first event in newly renovated Rose Garden
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