The inevitable decline of civilization takes center stage as the show kicks off with the miserable results of the FACEBOOK SETTLEMENT, confirming Brian's $4.01 payout, followed by a discussion of the SPORTS BETTING SCANDAL, where MLB players are rigging games over prop bets, confirming that gambling is now actively killing sports; moving to the news, the guys celebrate the DENMARK SOCIAL MEDIA BAN and SCHOOL PHONE BANS, which are already proving that teenagers need mandatory digital detoxes, prompting comparisons to Footloose and the revelation that teens are now passing handwritten notes and taking Polaroids. Naturally, things aren't going well for the hyper-rich, as evidenced by the TESLA EXECUTIVE EXODUS and the launch of WAYMO FREEWAYS, which will surely bring chaos to LA, and the ongoing saga of massive capital destruction via OPENAI LOSSES and META AI FAILURES, prompting Mark Zuckerberg to announce his desperate bid to CURE ALL DISEASES with AI, a feat less audacious than the fraud of AI startup FIREFLY AI TRANSCRIPT, which admitted its original "AI" was just human transcriptionists.
They then hit a laundry list of digital woes, including the dubious convenience of APPLE PASSPORTS, the creeping dread of Sam Altman's failing WORLDCOIN EYEBALL SCANS, the ridiculous crypto fraud DEFI OFFICE SPACE that literally copied a movie plot, and Coinbase's inexplicable decision to bring back high-risk ICOs; the absurdity continued with the OPENAI LAWSUIT over a suicidal chatbot that suggested the user "Rest easy, King," and the political maneuvering of the REPUBLICAN BROADBAND REDIRECT, which will gut internet access for the underserved to fund the Treasury, but the real threat to humanity remains the clandestine PREVENTATIVE GENE HACKING startup funded by tech billionaires aiming to create modified babies offshore.
In Media Candy, they share reviews of the excellent DIPLOMAT, ZOOTOPIA, and the just-released LUSH DOCUMENTARY, confirming our combined Gen-X fragility, before celebrating two definitive wins for reality: the fact that physicists have finally CRUSHED THE SIMULATION THEORY, and the literary brilliance of Joyce Carol Oates' tweet, which expertly called out Elon Musk as uneducated and uncultured.
All this and more on this episode of Grumpy Old Geeks
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IN THE NEWS
Denmark set to ban social media for users under 15 years of age
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