We open by tracking our video money and mocking the chef who quit Elon’s "epic" bacon diner, before diving into the IN THE NEWS segment where plummeting crypto and Nvidia stocks confirm everything is a sham; we cover Bezos’s new $6.2 billion AI flop, a sleeping Tesla Robotaxi driver, and why OpenAI’s new school tools are a Recipe for Idiocracy with students who can't read; in MEDIA CANDY, we tear apart Disney's lazy Moana remake; THE DARK SIDE WITH DAVE we discuss Zork going open source and why movies just don’t feel real anymore before CLOSING SHOUT-OUTS where we are mourning Mani from the Stone Roses, and wishing Bjork a very metal 60th.
We start with a FOLLOW UP on our channel’s performance, wading through the garbage pile of Monetization questions and Stats, including the scourge of Shorts—because apparently, that's what we do now. Speaking of people running from trouble, former Treasury Secretary Larry Summers is ditching his OpenAI board seat after a fresh batch of cringey Jeffrey Epstein emails surfaced. Meanwhile, the financial world is having a meltdown: Nvidia’s Stock is Falling Again after its earnings report, exposing the fact that almost Yet Another Study Shows That Most Companies Aren’t Making Any Money Off AI, and Bitcoin is Getting Absolutely Crushed Right Now, which we happily remind you will Trigger the Next Financial Crisis. Don't worry, Jeff Bezos will head a new engineering-focused AI startup because the world clearly needs more tech billionaires throwing money at things they don't understand, while Apple is reportedly getting ready to replace Tim Cook.
The tech-bro corruption parade continues as a former DOJ official points out that Trump’s Crypto Pardon of the Binance co-founder is exactly what it looks like, and Elon's pet AI, Grok Insists That Elon Musk Is More Physically Fit Than LeBron James and better at everything else, proving the bot has been sampling its boss's Adderall. Even though ChatGPT Achieves a New Level of Intelligence by finally letting you disable its em-dash addiction, companies like Intuit are integrating its tax and accounting products with ChatGPT—because who doesn't want an AI-powered tax audit? This all dovetails nicely with the news that OpenAI is launching ChatGPT for Teachers’ right as students’ math skills hit a low, leading to a literal Recipe for Idiocracy where elite college students Can’t Read Books. The whole thing is broken, including Tesla’s so-called Robotaxi, where a Passenger Alarmed When Tesla Robotaxi “Safety” Driver Falls Completely Asleep at the Wheel. On a lighter note, we check out the new trailers for The Witcher S4, Frankenstein, and Project Hail Mary in MEDIA CANDY, and tear apart the absolutely unnecessary live-action Moana teaser, before mentioning the biggest drama launch on Apple TV, Pluribus.
Next up is THE DARK SIDE WITH DAVE, where our tireless security guru Dave Bittner throws in some random facts, like Microsoft making Zork I, II, and III open source and videos on why the iOS Keyboard is Broken and Why Movies Just Don't Feel "Real” Anymore, and we discuss Thanksgiving plans. Finally, in CLOSING SHOUT-OUTS, we end with a shout-out to our generous PATREON supporters and PAYPAL/STRIPE donors, mourn the passing of Stone Roses and Primal Scream bassist Mani, and wish the incomparable Bjork a milestone 60th birthday.
Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/tWM83ra7Qp8
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