Episode 32 | "Lickies and Chewies?"

This conversation delves into the complexities of race, privilege, and activism, particularly focusing on the experiences of black women and the reactions of white women in the context of social justice. The speakers discuss the historical and current realities of systemic oppression, the implications of language, and the importance of listening and learning from marginalized voices. They also explore the nature of groupthink, the illusion of safety, and the responsibilities of individuals in activism. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of group dynamics, the role of violence in defining group identity, and the generational shifts in work ethic. They discuss the exploitation within economic systems, the challenges of expert opinions, and the importance of listening and respect in public discourse. The conversation also touches on power dynamics, the intersection of gender and race, and the impact of public outrage on accountability. They emphasize the value of community, the expectations of consumer privilege, and the power of silence and reflection in critical thinking.

Connect with Rebecca at:

The White Woman Whisperer Website

 

The White Woman Whisperer Patreon

 

The White Woman Whisperer TikTok

 

Connect with Daniella at:

You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
So, that's what you guys are doing!

(00:06):
Sorry.
just like how serious the army I'm supposed to take this place.
Like I'm really so- thank you for your service!
Can I give you a licky or a chewy?
When it comes to like your FYP and my FYP are probably so different but in terms of alsolike

(00:33):
what's going on, what they're doing in the government, right?
It's interesting, it's interesting.
So as I was saying before we started recording, black women kind of decided as a communitythat we're done.
We're done helping and trying to do things.
literally 92 % of black women voted for Kamala with all of the nuance involved andeverything, right?

(01:03):
So like, we couldn't be clearer that this is not an us thing.
And not really bothered to be honest, like, they're doing the thing we said.
Like at some point, like people are coming to my comment section to tell me, here's thething.

(01:24):
It's like.
So I've had my own, like, you know how I do nuanced conversations on my page, blah, blah,blah.
The most that I interact with whatever this government is doing is like, it's almostpeople yelling at me in my comment section as a reason for me to be quiet, right?
They're like, even from America, from other places, they're yelling at me about Nazis andstuff.

(01:49):
Zero awareness as a black Jewish person on the internet talking about racism for fouryears.
like the, the, the, you know, was like, elected this.
We, you can better get away from me with that.
And then, so another thing about my FYP is black people.
The other thing I know about it is black people.

(02:12):
And the talks about segregation and just how unserious we are about this.
And we're like, cool.
Finally, we don't, y'all can't be in our restaurants.
Like we make everything a joke.
Now, to be fair, I have made many.
Because I've noticed this whole thing about segregation in my comment section since I saidman versus, probably since before that, right?

(02:33):
Like they think the biggest thing issue is division.
And you know how I feel about the United States and the undivided indivisible, like howmuch they're yelling unity and yelling unity at me, you know, for daring to.
not care about the thing that they are so they're like, we we've elected and we havefascism.

(02:58):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what are you going to what aside from yelling at black people on the Internet about itand each other, to be honest, like it didn't just start.
So that's my thing is like.
I'm not talking to you about any of this, not you, but like.

(03:19):
you know, white people in general about this without you having ever heard anything I'veever said before.
Yeah, no.
You know, and like, that's why I don't really interact with whatever the cult elders aredoing.
The Sea Org members have decided like, okay.

(03:40):
They, wait, are they making irrational crazy decisions about who's should be in charge ofstuff?
Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed.
They allowed white men to continue to rule things after slavery was quote unquote endedand seen as inhumane.
They said, it's okay, let's keep electing them as presidents.

(04:00):
Even the ones who disagreed with that exact sentiment, Andrew Jackson.
Like, you know, without that, yeah, this seems like a lot, seems really complex, seemsvery scary, lots of details.
I bet black people aren't the most in your comment section, the most like,
freaking out and needing answers and like, yeah, the old white men.

(04:24):
Do you know Trump's history?
Like black people have known about Trump's racism since before y'all agreed that Trump wasracist.
Since the exonerated five, a whole, do you know what it takes?
Well, not even lawsuits.
Like that's what makes it to lawsuits.
Like lawyers thought they could make money on that.
you, like we are aware to take out a full page ad.

(04:47):
in order to call for the death of five young Black boys for something they did not do.
Right?
But the taking out a page in the whatever biggest newspaper there is at a time sayingthese boys need to be dead and never said that there was a problem with that.

(05:07):
Like that is the, yeah, we've, I've known about that since before the apprentice.
So people freaking out now is because they didn't listen then.
The thought of the opioid epidemic now is because no one cared about the crack epidemicthen.

(05:30):
All so I'm not gonna talk to you about that.
I always have to say, not you.
me, yeah, no, this makes me think of like when there was a scandal about General Petraeus.
Do you remember?
There was a, this was in 2014, basically.
He had just been given the director of the CIA and he'd given intelligence to hismistress.

(05:50):
Anyway, all this to say, like, I was in the 101st, the Band of Brothers unit, right?
And like, we knew.
He was a 101st commander.
Like he came out of the 101st, we knew he was toxic.
We've been calling him General Betrayus for a long time.
Like we knew he was a douche bag when he came as a CIA director and threw himself amilitary parade where we all had to practice for 12 hours and then march for 12 hours and

(06:18):
stand in the summer heat.
And he ordered that anyone who passed out not to be removed from the field.
which 100 years ago is the death sentence, right?
Like we knew this man was the height of douchebaggery.
And so when there was like this huge scandal and like the whole country's freaking, we'reall like, yeah, like.

(06:40):
And instead of saying, well, maybe if we had listened in the first place and realized thiswas harmful and done something prior, that's what I'd rather talk about.
like when you say like take these people out of leadership, you know, it's like that's thething.
But let me tell you what, like if I didn't live in Maryland among black women right now,like I don't know, like it was so I had to realize on Friday, I like yelled at my

(07:08):
audience, you know, and this woman was like, we're all just scared like we're civilians.
We don't know.
And I was like, then stop.
talking, you know, like, I can't, I do know, but I can't be heard because you all keepscreaming about martial law in the middle of spring, the fighting season, you know, like,

(07:28):
so anyway, I realized that like, I'm, I'm triggered by it, because it's really fuckingprivileged.
It's really fucking privileged to be freaking out this much.
And like everything we are afraid of liberal white women, like is happening to peopleright now in the world, in America.

(07:51):
I've lived through most of it, right?
And then again, like you're saying like they come yell at me.
There was this woman who made a big video saying, there's this woman who made a video isknitting cult lady a cyop because she's never freaking out about anything.
like, no, for the record, knitting cult lady is a human, not a verb.

(08:11):
I'm not a psychological operation, but like, but like.
And it's because,
But it's like, look at what I've already lived through.
Like, I'm triggered right now and I'm pissed off that I only got like two years ofenjoying my nice life after like fighting, fighting, fighting really hard.
And now we're gonna like maybe have a revolution again.

(08:34):
But like, I'm pissed off.
But then that's like, and also just this like, you know what I have been.
gaining strength from in black women is just this like, okay, so now this is the worldwe're in.
What are you gonna do about it, right?
Buck up and do something about it.

(08:56):
know, and like, so Mr.
Knitting Coat Lady and I were comparing it to like going to JRTC.
Nobody, zero people's recruiters warned them when they signed up for the military thatthey would be sent to a 42 square mile bog in Louisiana
for six weeks to play war games.
Like there's absolutely zero people, right, are warned about that.

(09:21):
Joint Readiness Training Center.
This was like land that Eisenhower appropriated from native people to give to the militaryin World War II so we could go train for war.
READYNESS!
Yes, so, but like, so you're there, right?

(09:41):
And you're there and it is just the shittiest thing and you're just gonna live here forsix weeks playing soldier in the woods.
And like, you know what?
Nobody asked for this, nobody signed up for this, everybody hates it.
And then we pick up our weapons and we go do our jobs, you know?
And it's kind of like, this is like.

(10:02):
I don't know, like I think this is my message for all of my like liberal left white womenright now.
It's like, yeah, like I get it, right?
We quote unquote weren't the ones, right?
48 % of us weren't the ones that voted for him.
But like, okay, this is the world we're in now.
Pick up your weapon and get back to work.

(10:22):
Yeah, and that's the other thing.
was.
They are just, they were handed more microphones.
Like you, nothing changed.
them now.
So I don't know if you've heard about this, but like in Texas, the maternity rate, thematernity death rate for white women has doubled.

(10:48):
Like, what do they think?
guess who's suddenly backing off total abortion bans?
And this is where, I just have to say this out loud because it's like they knew.
They knew it was gonna cause more deaths.
They just didn't think it was gonna be them.
Like, what did they think the first time he was elected?

(11:09):
my, so that's, that's, guess, where my like, now, but this time, it's actually something.
Cause he has, like, I don't under, I'm not really.
difference is last time he was elected, right?
Like any president on a first term has some constraints, right?

(11:29):
Because in theory, they want a second term, right?
Right now, he has no constraints.
Right, right, right.
But this is why I started paying attention so hard to this dynamic.
when Donald Trump was elected.
Because I was like, to me it was obvious that it was gonna work, right?

(11:54):
Like all of these pundits kept saying, I can't believe he might win in spite of hisextremism.
And I was like, no, it's because of his extremism, right?
Of course it's gonna work.
But this whole time that people like you, like know, black women in general obviouslywho've come up under oppression,

(12:16):
or like me who've come up under repressed, right?
Like people who've lived under coercive control and like understand it have been seeing itthis whole time.
But like, you know, I feel like on the one hand, like I have like liberal white ladiesfreaking out that like tomorrow the military is gonna come marching down the streets.

(12:39):
But then at the same time, when I say no, they really wanna come for our voting rights,they're like, no, no.
That's too, right?
I, it's hard, it's hard to convince, I feel like, everyday people that like, some peoplehave no limit on just like, how bad they will be.

(13:03):
Right?
And I think it's a luxury and a privilege that people don't understand that, you know?
it?
What are they scared of happening?
I'm still not really understanding, like, this eminent fear that they will be treated likeBlack women.

(13:24):
I think that's really where it's like, it's very triggering for me.
Like, and how dare you?
When you've been a white woman your whole life and now, and like, like, I hate.
cause this is
the men the power and then screaming in the faces of people.
Like it reminds me of that metaphor or an analogy or whatever I made about the peoplebeing held captive in the basement have figured out a way and you are now coming to them

(13:52):
in the basement demanding like freaking out about the prices of whatever the guy upstairsholding us charges you.
Like I can't even explain to you the fact.
The fact that my FYP, like, I don't know, little bit like, Fran, like this is y'all'scult.

(14:15):
This is not the real world.
And y'all freaking out that the cult is doing cultish stuff is actually the problem.
You know what I mean?
Like you are, like not you, are demonstrating the actual problem and screaming in the faceof it.
And I want to.

(14:35):
So the other thing I wanted to talk about and Fran knows what I'm, think she can feel likeI get literally like emotionally triggered.
I made a video, no, cause I just was having my little thoughts just that I have.
And I was thinking about the phrase that I hear often on the internet.
she just looked at me so cute.

(14:59):
no, sorry.
Anyway, of black and white thinking.
All right, black or white thinking, whatever you want to say, black, white thinking.
And I'm like, that's weird.
Like, what are you saying when you're saying black and white thinking?
Because I know people say it as like, it's binary thinking, right?

(15:22):
Or extreme thinking or either or thinking.
Binary and either or thinking are tenets of white supremacy.
So I thought, hey, let me make a little video.
So I can just let people know that this is an option.
Cause I've literally never said black or white, black and white thinking.
And I guess what I'm realizing now is I've heard it mostly from white women on theinternet who are newly diagnosed neurodivergence, who I guess in the medical field, they

(15:52):
say black and white thinking.
And apparently, and I'm realizing this overlap.
And now I'm like, I need to go take this out of my book.
I mean, and that's okay, right?
You know how I feel that it is, I'm not saying, you know, the things I am saying and thethings I'm not saying.
I'm not saying you are racist if you choose this phrase.

(16:13):
I'm saying, I never thought about it until I thought about it.
But as a black and white person, when I hear black and white, black or white, I tend tothink of myself, I'm sorry.
And there are connotations to black and white and black or white.
Daniela, the amount of autistic white women in my comment section explaining to me.

(16:44):
and there were some that I, you know, I know and I see them on the internet and I knowthey're artistic and I understand, right?
I understand the explaining and then going, I never thought about it this way.
Think, I'll think about this.
Okay.
Don't love it, but okay.
And I like in defensiveness is a tenant of white supremacy as well.
I use two phrases in that tenant of my video.

(17:04):
It's an ending, defending and refraining from explaining.
I wanted to provide those tools because it's zero times.
I have come up with this, I am sharing this with you.
then the gaslighting because I'm like, are you, well, I thought it was, know, all ornothing.
And I said, I know they are, they can be opposites, but color, all or nothing color,whatever, but just think.

(17:29):
I never use it this way.
I never thought of it.
I think about it as no nuance thinking.
I think about it as rigid thinking.
I think about it as this.
So those are all other words you could use.
You just gave yourself some, but instead they're like, I don't think it's about race.
I never thought about race.
I never thought good or bad, right or wrong.
Yeah, I know.

(17:53):
So that's why.
And it's like they were refusing it or giving me etymology of color theory.
The reason I'm laughing right now is because I did a video on how zombie apocalypse iswhite supremacy fan fiction.
So I've been drowning in exactly it.

(18:15):
Yeah, but I've just been drowning in those comments of people being like, and I'm like,and I said in my video, I was like, I will not be debating this with you, right?
The reason this works, right?
When I heard someone say that, when I heard zombie apocalypse fiction is white supremacyfan fiction, like I knew it in my bones.
Yeah!
Yeah!
have literally seen disgusting men like Pete Hegseth, who's a white supremacist, like getoff on planning zombie apocalypse.

(18:43):
Right?
So I knew it in my bones.
I knew it.
So I just shut up and I listened to what black women were saying about it.
And they explained it to me very easily.
Right?
In my video, I have one sentence with a black woman say, please explain how this is justgenocide, you know.
I'm sorry, I forget her exact wording, right?
But it's like literally one sentence and all I have to do is point to it.

(19:04):
And it's like, I don't have to argue with you about this.
Like if it works, it works.
You know?
like, I had another one with Seventh Day Adventist survivors, finally, because they heardme say cults are always about space travel.
I always promised space travel.
They were like, oh, it is a cult.

(19:27):
And like,
No hate, right?
But I was like, I know it works because when I figured it out, right?
So when Donald Trump started the Space Force, I was like, it's culty, it's culty.
I don't know how to explain it, but it's culty, right?
And then I did just like you, right?
And I thought about this, like why?
Like why do I know that this is culty?

(19:49):
Well, we know a bunch of cults and space travel and Scientology and blah, blah, blah,blah, right?
And I came up with my theory.
It's because they're promising you something on another.
in another universe, right, that cannot be verified or come back from, right, anotherbody, another level, another state, another whatever.
And I thought I was like, this works.
This is how it ties to coercive control.

(20:11):
This is the mental heuristic I'm gonna use for people.
And then I went and used it.
And it's like, doesn't, I don't have to argue about this, right?
Like it either it works or it doesn't work.
Like, if it's valid, it stands up to scrutiny, even though the straight white man who saidthat did not himself stand up to scrutiny.
Yeah.
Well, see, that's the thing.

(20:32):
I said binary thinking and a bunch of people came in and said, no, it's not that.
They literally, and then the gas lighting, and I'm so grateful to black people becausejust even a couple came in and were like, thank you for saying this because they're making
us feel like, and blah, blah, blah.
And second guessing.
was like, okay, because y'all have me and like, it's a medical term.

(20:53):
Yeah.
So is drapedamania.
You know what that is?
When enslaved people want to run away.
They weren't literally diagnosed.
Okay.
So I don't want, don't, don't get into this with me.
entire history of gynecology rests on black women being operated on without anesthesia.
Like, come on, right?
And this is something that I think that like liberal white women, obviously if you'relistening to this, you're probably a liberal white woman, right?

(21:23):
Like need to kind of work on is like, once you understand something systemic, you don'tget to just opt out.
Like on my infamous blonde video, right?
Like the way they wanna explain to me that like they can't dye their hair or they can't dothis and so is it okay?

(21:45):
And I'm like, first of all, like I am not your cult leader or a Psyop, like whateverthey've, right?
Like if another adult is telling you what's her K or not and they're not a cop, I thinkthat's a problem, right?
But like you do not.
get to just opt out of the entire history of blondness or of black and white language justbecause you never thought about it.

(22:09):
I had never thought about it.
And while you were saying it, I was like, yep, I can absolutely see that.
And there are very easy ways.
In fact, I'm not even just gonna delete it from my book.
I'm gonna put in a paragraph talking about why, you know?
Like, it's just...
It's like, once you hear it, you can't really unhear it.
And I think that's why they don't like it.

(22:29):
And they're like, how dare you control what I say?
What?
This is TikTok video, man.
This is a Wendy's.
some of us like, calm down.
throw out, once you know that Eenie Meenie Minie Moe comes from racism and slavery and itdidn't use to say catch a tiger.
I'm doing this on purpose to trigger people right now.

(22:51):
Now it's your responsibility to go try to keep your kid from saying it.
Just.
Right?
And if you don't say it, it's not going really come up.
like now that you know, it's kind of like how I refer to R.
Kelly sometimes in the, in the rights of comfort thing, right?
Sometimes.
So R.
Kelly, I had a lot of nostalgia around R.
Kelly songs, loved them.

(23:12):
Okay.
But I also listened to the victims.
And so now when I hear an R.
Kelly song, it makes me think of how terrible it is that that happened to them.
And that makes me not want to listen to that music.
And now it's not in
my listened to or whatever.
I trust my actual discomfort to tell me something.
It will inform you.

(23:33):
And I think that's why they're so upset because they believe they have a right to comfort.
And it's like, you said this thing is related to this thing and I don't agree with that.
But, but why do you have to tell me?
And this is also, I think, why the cult of MAGA and maybe other people are so convinced onbelieving that cancel culture is real.

(23:55):
It's just like, no, no.
Like, once you connect something with something, can you really enjoy it anymore?
And that's why I...
That's just what I just started to say to people about zombie apocalypse.
It's like, you know what?
Now you see it, you're not gonna be able to unsee it and you're the one that gets todecide like how you move forward with that.

(24:19):
watched The Walking Dead, still do, but I remember when the second I started to rewatchand I, like I said, I this before, I have documented proof somewhere on my phone that I
realized while watching it, like, whoa, this whole genre is a problem.
I still watch it, but I still like learn stuff from that.

(24:40):
There are things, there are ways to learn from and not just about in, and I'm not going tostart a new one.
Right?
I'm not going to start a new thing, but I'm best to critique it because I can say I enjoyit for weird comforting reasons because it's tied to historical stuff for me.
Whatever.

(25:00):
But I also carry both.
for whatever reason you enjoy it, that's going to be true to your experience of it pluswhatever you know about, right?
So it's just like, mean, the R.
Kelly stuff is a perfect example.
You continuing to like this is a perfect example, right?
Because if it was more problematic of an experience for you to watch it, then youwouldn't.

(25:24):
You know, it's like people keep trying to get me to watch.
what's
Surveillance, no, there's some show out right now, Severance, right?
And I'm like, don't wanna watch culty things in my relax time, you know?
right.
And it's so, I watched like some of the first season and I get it.

(25:45):
It's, but, it's so slow and there's so many little things people get so it's like theinception of corporate cultiness and like, didn't enjoy inception.
It's too many.
you look?
I got it.
Got it.
No, thank you.
Yeah.
me to watch a new cult documentary, I'm like, so I can tell you it's the same story, so Ican like point out the same patterns.

(26:11):
And I just wanna say, before we go to Haley's purple nest, cause this is awesome, butlike, there's a little bit of like apocalypticizing, like fantasizing about the
apocalypse.
And I think that like many of us,
people don't need to watch zombie stuff.
especially those of us who are in social justice, have like walked away from extremistreligion, but didn't walk away from realizing like we still have that thing.

(26:42):
And it was actually talking to you a few weeks ago, right?
I had that realization that like, maybe imagining my whole family dead is like some weirdway.
And my god, Rebecca, it's religious, it's religious suicidal ideology.
Rapture culture, that's what it is.
Right?
It's just the world is so terrible, like we're going through here, this is why we don'tneed to care about it.

(27:08):
And right now, you know, I'm with you going like, what are you all afraid of right now?
Like, I, and then it's like, and they want me to comfort them and I'm like.
the horrors, number one, that I have already survived, right?
Like wrote them all down.

(27:29):
You can read it in this best-selling book that is tagged here.
But like also, also last year we buried my brother, right?
And it's horrible.
And there's nothing you can say to comfort that or fix it.
It's just life sucks.
Like we all live in a very obvious cult right now and some of us are gonna survive andsome of us aren't.

(27:53):
And like humans have an endless capacity to torture each other and make each othermiserable.
And the thing is like black women have always known that.
the Jane Elliot of it all.
Okay, so Jane Elliot is the one who made the brown eye, blue eye experiment, right?

(28:13):
And I've always been like, yes, not always, for, especially in the beginning of myjourney, I was like, this is exactly what we have been talking about and needed.
And I feel like instead of learning from it, that as a person in power, you can createlittle monsters.

(28:33):
with just a value system of arbitrary, identifiable differences.
And if you stoke them, because she created an entire environment and all she did was talkabout, it just was so limited, so shallow in talking about the harms of discrimination.
See, it hurts when you're on the hard side.

(28:55):
Wait, that's not what just happened.
She said, I had a bunch of kids who operated so beautifully.
She called them.
some Christian children, in her, whatever, see, white women still go white woman.
And they were all so great.
And then I did this thing and I said, the kids with green eyes or brown eyes, whatever,and blue eyes, they are different.

(29:21):
And in one day they're different that this was the bad guy.
And the other day we switched and now this is the bad guy.
And even though the people who were treated poorly the first day,
knew they wouldn't enjoy that, they now enacted that harm to that person.
Instead of having empathy, they were like, this is my chance.
All of them was white kids, led by a white woman, to do this to each other and to just beterrible, to feel terrible, to come in, and everything changed in a matter of minutes.

(29:49):
So what did, what's the, and all we learned was, sucks.
Hate to be black.
That would be a terrible thing.
There were no black kids in the room.
What about this is a specific to the cultural effect of these white kids.
What if they are primed for this?

(30:10):
What if there's so many things and she still goes on and shames other white people for notdoing stuff and it's like, you're too, you're too, this is not as helpful.
Knowing something.
And Toni Morrison talks once about when she wrote the bluest eye that people were touched,but they weren't moved by it.
I think she said.

(30:30):
or something and that stuck with me and I feel like people were touched by the experiment,but they weren't moved to do anything or act differently or blame white women, maybe
teachers.
Like what about teachers causing this?
You are stoking this.
You could be stoking cooperation and communication and stuff and you're not.

(30:51):
That's what I learned.
You created little monsters, quick, easily, with identifiable features and they knew howto.
Follow suit.
Just like that Ash conformity study thing we talked about with black women.
Like what if it would have been different in a black national?
I don't know.
knew it's like they knew how to do it because that's what they've been seeing the adultsin their life do for their whole lives.

(31:15):
Right.
And like this is a conversation that I have with my kid at school that like the kids thatare bullies, like they're being bullied, most likely it by the adults in their lives in
some way, or form, you know, and
boys.
Like that's a thing.
Like I'll never get over that.

(31:36):
I'm not going to do that one again.
But I did want to also address when I had made that video that we talked about last weekabout, you know, when you listen without defensiveness, doubling down or focusing on
hypothetical harms, the hyper fixating on hypothetical harms.
So white women freaking out.

(31:56):
Why didn't you freak out when yesterday?
when three years ago, when five years ago, when eight years ago, like, but now you'refreaking out because you're actually like, and then you feel vulnerable and you're just
scared and how dare a black woman be like, I don't care.
And then you're like, but this is you, you.

(32:20):
dare you.
I'm not talking with you about it.
Not with you with this energy, like you're already helpless.
You haven't done anything, but complain and see yourself as damsel in distress of your owndoing.
That is self-imposed suffering, sis.
Self-imposed suffering.
Yeah.
been trying to get people to realize this with, you know, they're all like, my gosh, Elo,what do you think about Elon Musk getting classified Pentagon briefings?

(32:47):
And literally my only response to this has been, unless you were getting a daily brief onwho gets briefed at the Pentagon, this is like anxiety you do not need to have, you know?
Like, cybersecurity, Russia, like, those are real problems, but those are not.
You're not gonna know about it.
This is not part of your job.

(33:09):
Like this is like, what are you doing?
Why are you borrowing anxiety?
Exactly.
And, borrowed outrage from the future.
used to say like, you got BO, borrowed outrage.
Like how, and then people being mad at calling me race.
Like on behalf of autistic people, this is really blah, blah.

(33:30):
You know, it's just crazy.
but I see where it's coming from.
when hundreds of you, you know what energy, this energy that you are directing at theinternet comment section.
with no desire for answers and solutions.
I want to punch you little bit, you know, and wake up reality check.

(33:53):
People are currently and have been for literally centuries.
Black people have always been right.
They're not just right now that you found out.
They've been right for 400 years that they were people the whole time.
People the whole time.
And just now you're like, guys, they don't think women are as much.

(34:17):
people as men are, well, well, wait till you find out.
You know, and the hypothetical harms is just so unhelpful, but so much what our brainswould like to do.
It's more dopamine seeking.
It's rewarding to ruminate and feel like you're doing something helpful for some otherpeople.

(34:40):
and I think there's a little bit of this apocalyptic scenario of like, we just get to gocrazy, right?
Like if there's, if order has really broken down, you know, I keep telling my audience,like, you're not gonna get Civil War.
You're not gonna get martial law.
It's not gonna be that effing simple, right?
Like it's just, things are just gonna get worse and worse and worse.

(35:03):
Just like.
you know it to be true, like those things, they weren't even the way you think they were.
Like, learn those things over first.
Like one, they smelled so much worse.
And I can't tell you how much I'm gonna say this over and over again.
They smelled terribly.
All the white things you're thinking of, all those places, stinky, on purpose.

(35:25):
There's so much studies.
I love watching videos of white people talking about like historically white things.
It's great.
they're like, no, every other place used aromatherapy, used oils, used stuff, like whitepeople believe that that was just a given.
And it's like, I can't tell you how much this is an analogy.
They're like, no, you're supposed to become accustomed to the stench.
That's what people do.

(35:46):
We only bathe once a year.
That's the stronger.
That's just a part of it.
What do you mean?
That's the baseline.
And it's not other places did things about it.
Like, no raw food, the way it, you know,
Enjoying things isn't how a good person does it.
You should be suffering, actually.

(36:09):
Smellin'.
Ugh.
That's what I think of the Walking Dead.
I often go through those like, fantasy cells, they smell terribly.
They're all makin' out.
Gross.
this is actually one of my favorite analogies for groupthink.
So when you go to play soldier in the field, as we talked about, right, or when you go tolive in a total institution of where you are removed from the rest of the world, right,

(36:34):
and we're all eating the same thing, we're all being served three meals a day, and themost variety that we have in our diet is like, who brought what candies, they call them
lickies and chewies, it's super creepy.
Okay.
So, lickies and chewies.
This is the army you're talking about.

(36:57):
This is the army, right?
Okay.
So after less than 24 hours in a totally controlled environment where you're also usingportageons, everybody's poo starts to smell the same.

(37:20):
And because I'm autistic and pattern, and pattern recognizing, I know you're not even ontothe next funny thing that I'm saying.
But like every time but I am still upset about the Olympics.
I actually am
so this is what's so funny about the secret bro chat conversation that heads of ourgovernment were just having, because people are like, was that a conspiracy?

(37:49):
I'm like, no, that inside language was never intended to be seen by serious people in theoutside world.
So.
words, you know?
So, that's what you guys are doing!
Sorry.

(38:10):
just like how serious the army I'm supposed to take this place.
Like I'm really so- thank you for your service!
Can I give you a licky or a chewy?
seriously, right?
This is where I say grown men in camouflage pajamas will literally walk into the room andbe like, why are you smiling?
Why is there pink?

(38:30):
We're not in the business of hearts and butterflies.
We're in the business of killing people.
And then they'll walk over and be like, ooh, are these lickies and chewies?
Ooh.
the pixelated camouflage.
Where are we?
What is this?

(38:51):
And I love, like, I am not going to be able to look at my candy stash the same.
Yes, sir.
And and so, after about a day in the woods of everyone eating the exact same thing, right?
Everyone's poo starts to smell the same.

(39:14):
And I always notice this, because I'm autistic and overwhelmed by sensory recognition.
And so you know what?
Like, it's kind of nice, because everyone's poo smells the same.
And so you become, you know how your own stuff never smells as bad as someone else's?
Yeah
it's like your body's safety mechanism.
So literally, all our shit starts to smell the same.

(39:37):
And then you don't realize how crazy this situation that you're living in.
And that's like groupthink, right?
That's why as soon as you add isolation to any group of people, shit starts to smellfunny, but you don't notice it anymore.
God.

(39:59):
It's just so, and like just the history of whiteness and the conformity of not being, likeyou.
the beginning of Rebecca's, beginning of your book series of like, no, your shit alwaysstank.
It always stinks.

(40:19):
Like we, we, no matter how many lickies and chewies you eat, it's still going to smelllike shit at the end of the day.
Even if you, yeah.
Okay.
You know, and that's beautiful.
I love that.
Those are one of those things where I'm like, they're just people, you know, but look athow silly and

(40:46):
I just, it's the same as all the other ones.
The sea org, what are they wearing?
Where are they going?
Y'all aren't on boats anymore.
You still call yourself that, but that's just as valid, like as this, why, why?
This is ridiculous.
This is a ridiculous thing we are still participating in and acting like it is the mostserious thing and very important.

(41:11):
And there's a search for specialness.
Like that seeking you talk about, like if you're seeking, you're very cult, specialness.
And I think you, you benefit so much by releasing yourself of that you are special becauseyou're not, no matter what your diagnosis.
this is part of the problem with, like this is part of American exceptionalism crackingup, right?

(41:35):
And like all of us, like we wanna be on the right side of history, right?
And we don't wanna be in the coal of white supremacy and we don't wanna do any of that,but we still want to believe that like America was the good guys.
And I think, like the more I think about it, I'm like we actually,
accidentally almost came down on the right side of one conflict in history.

(41:58):
Still did some pretty bad things during that conflict, but...
And see, that's the whole thing is like looking for, I don't know that right side ofhistory is helping white women because they're, like, as long as right.
And I'll see people in my comment section think, you know, as long as they're on my sideand you know how I was talking about sides.

(42:19):
I was like, I'm a main, I'm no side.
they're just, they're, they think that's it, right?
They're on the right side of history because they believe this.
And just like not being anti-racist isn't not having over racist thoughts.
It's, it's being open to seeing it in the everyday actions and being on the right side ofthat encounter, which may be walking away from that encounter and practicing it on like an

(42:52):
everyday thing.
But people are looking for this note in the history book that says, and Mary was good.
And because we are taught history like that, we are taught Americans and then Americanswere great and then they won.
And then they invented a winning game where you win all the time.
And this is like how our history is written is very this side and this side.

(43:15):
And I think even putting it in these world war, but like I just, you know, and not lookinginto what were people doing.
So what were white people doing who didn't believe in
dehumanizing other people because I believe they were there, but of course they're not inthe books.
Like the ones you're gonna hear about regularly are not the ones that were actually doingsomething, because they would have been more quiet.

(43:40):
They would be listening, they would be helping and dying a little bit.
There are stories about white people during this civil rights era who stood with blackpeople, tons of them.
But you're instead trying to be the Katniss, right?
You're trying to, what?
or nothing, right?
The Roo, you trying to, but then they made her black.

(44:03):
And so now you're like, what do we do?
I'm freaking out.
Stop.
Like, do you know what you sound like when you're on the whole internet?
And the videos of black people being so excited about segregation are not serious, but itis something different, right?
It's like, y'all thought they're trying to make us mad.

(44:25):
They know that baiting people into anger is the thing.
But like, I said quite a few times, but I just don't think you're gonna get the reactionyou think when you start saying like, you just wanna separate us.
Kinda.
A little bit.
Like, a little bit.
You guys keep yelling.

(44:45):
Alright, don't make me say it.
I'm now looking at the whole Kamala thing and I'm like, did I just want to be able topoint to one time in history where white women did the right thing and that's part of why
I'm so pissed off right now?
Maybe, right?
Maybe you wanted to, and that's not a problem, but I do remember the second that she wasmade into the nominee or whatever the wording is, I got tired immediately because I knew

(45:15):
the vibe and I saw the vibe of the comments and I said, uh-oh, white women are relieved.
What?
You're relieved?
this, and that's probably why we feel extra not in like,
We're just not engaged with this whole government.
Cause like, I even didn't know how I felt about if she was because you would have beenlike, mama Kamala, know?

(45:41):
And you need to do something because this is how you act.
Look at what you're not doing, right?
Instead they're in my comment section telling me that I'm wrong about how to view blackand white thinking and why the problem for real is the Nazi in the White House.
And how dare I.
not focus on real racism.

(46:01):
They're literally telling me to focus on real racism.
And if I'm actually getting harmed, what I should do is turn off the comments if peopleare gonna be, you know, they're yelling at me.
And I feel like what would happen to her?
And then it would have been like, well, we voted her in, we did.
And now y'all have to deal with the consequences of not being able to do that, which Ithink is...

(46:26):
more indicative of white woman community and y'all are so busy talking about Trump.
And I think when we say, like, what are you afraid of?
Right?
And I think what everyone is afraid of is that, like, life will suck in life and deathways, and we won't be able to just, like, buy comfort.
Right?

(46:47):
Like, buy comfort and skip over it.
You don't have the fee.
Someone had said what white women are mad about is that they were promised the privilege,like came with a fee and they aren't able to pay it.
Like they're just mad because they're not able to pay the fee for privilege that theythought they would be able to or something, comforts or whatever.

(47:07):
You're not really mad about the state of things.
You're mad that you're not comfortable right now.
You're scared about hypothetical.
care about that.
You don't, you don't care about current harms or reducing current harms.
You don't care about maybe just not saying black or white or not yelling at me forsuggesting thinking about it.

(47:28):
Cause I was so intentional.
said something white people could maybe consider not using or thinking about when usingit.
Like I literally knew just the idea of saying, maybe don't use it.
They were going to freak out.
I said, or just think about it when you use it.
Why even do that?
Because it didn't matter.

(47:48):
Because people immediately turned me into a cop.
Like I'm going to come into their house every time they say black or white thinking and belike, but I told you.
to sometimes just like remind people and like, hey, hey, y'all, I am a random ladyknitting and talking to the internet about things that I know from the comfort of my own
house, right?

(48:09):
Like, just like, like just to remind you of the stakes here, you know, like, it's so muchlike the online activism and just kind of like, like what, and this is what I keep saying
also, like,
By the way, part of surviving is finding joy under terrible circumstances, right?
Joy and community.

(48:30):
like, they're like, why are you freaking out?
I'm like, I can still walk out my front door and participate in the exact same chicanerythat I could yesterday.
Like what?
What?
What?
Your delusion of safety is being shattered and I understand, but making me suffer forthat, no, don't.

(48:51):
And I don't like it.
Make it stop.
Do you know what it's like?
It's fine to have the feelings, but when you are now making sure other people, like you'reuncomfortable if others aren't, that's colonizing.
You can't have my opinion.
and it is this, it's this concept of you think you deserve to be special, you know, and,and this is gonna be a little bit convoluted, but like in Afghanistan, we got, there was a

(49:18):
point when we were trying to, you know, win the hearts and minds of the local people,where if your child got blown up by an enemy bomb, right, by an IED, like we would give
you money.
Okay.
So that turned into, like, I overhear my soldiers being like, these people are so unhuman,right, because their child dies and they're here three hours later asking for money.

(49:49):
And this was one of the times where I lost it, right, and specifically, like, this soldiertalking about it had children.
And I was like, and so now I'm gonna bring us to today times, right?
Could you imagine?
If you, like, your child could just go out on the street and just get blown up, right?

(50:10):
Like if that happened to my child in suburbia, like that would have so many rocking waves.
But like, that's life.
And like the world doesn't owe you a good life or a good world.
And like, you're not better.
than all of the mothers in Palestine whose children are getting blown up.

(50:34):
You're not better than all of the black women in America whose children might be shotevery time they go out on the street, right?
But there is this promise in white supremacy, and this is where it's cult thinking, right?
There is this promise that my kid will be fine, will be safe, and won't get blown up onthe street, and won't get shot by the police.

(50:57):
And...
You know, on things I tell people sometimes, I'm like, I lived in Mexico, where all of thechildren get the talk about the police being dangerous, because the police are dangerous,
and everyone carries money with them to bribe the cops if they get pulled over.
and you're...
You know, and it's just like, even the dehumanization, the dehumanization and the puttingourselves above, even in the way we talk,

(51:28):
about the horrors that are occurring in other places.
But we think we're better than that and we're not.
talking about horrors that are further away.
I noticed with the genocide in Palestine, it's like white women really got in their bagwhen it came to problems that they can't actually physically do anything about.

(51:54):
That they can't see here with their eyes, but they can use as a way to determine that theyare on the right side of history about what's happening over there.
Are they on the right side of history in this dynamic with me on my content, in my commentsection?
Do they care?
No.
It's not, cause they decide, right?

(52:15):
And history is decided by who wins the debate sometimes with them.
And if I don't debate with them, then I've lost and they've won and I'm okay with that.
I don't care what they think in terms of if they think they're on the right side, right?
Because y'all think it's what's in the book.
You still think.
The book tells me what to think about black and white thinking.

(52:36):
I already told you what I think.
You can't go, well, the definition on the book, not white women.
Well, actually, when I said white women are the men of women, that was one of those thingswhere it just felt right immediately.
And I was like, cool.
I didn't realize how much women were going to dehumanize men, like I said, and have mestick it up for men.

(52:59):
Like I thought we...
I didn't know why I had to say this, but men are people too.
Ew.
You know, sometimes it's like you can't.
And so when I brought up someone, I really liked a comment that said, with the black andwhite thinking, they said, oh, I just did a deep dive when you said this.
And I think I'm going to start using red and blue thinking and talking about the shades ofpurple.

(53:22):
And I was like, I love this.
I also love this because, hello, I've talked to you about like red and blue groups.
and like how y'all are like, those are two options and they're teams and everything's agame.
And I'm going to throw out this card and you're going to say that, no, we're not in theteams.
But there's, there's this natural inclination to be like, what team are you on?

(53:43):
White people calm down.
But they're already given this, like, like I said, they're primed for that experiment tojust give us something to judge each other on because in the house it's happening anyway.
So I just need to know.
what's the right side to be on so that I'm not in trouble.
I don't know who's trouble, but.

(54:03):
I think this is it gets down to like why I'm struggling with the ending of my book.
Cause like, even though I wrote a whole book to tell you about bad groups, now you want meto just give you a simple answer on good groups, right?
And I'm like, first of all, I'm just looking at them and I'm like, that would take a wholenother book.
That would take at least a whole nother book for me to tell you about that.

(54:28):
But also like, what if the problem is groups?
in the first place, because here's what I can't get past, right?
And I've really learned this from you when you talk about like the borders of thecommunity are porous and they can like expand to let people in and let people out, but not
like block people out or throw people away.

(54:50):
And I'm like in a group, right?
The very basic thing is like who is a member of the group, right?
And like as soon as you define
what it means to be a member, you've also defined something else, what it means to be anon-member.
And then as humans, in the isolation of our groups, we say the outsider is the enemy.

(55:16):
And in America, mean, I take this to the military, right?
So like the woman's the outsider from day one, the outsider is the enemy.
And our job by doctrine is find, fix, and finish the enemy.
So we know.
As soon as we define her as different, we know that's gonna lead to violence.
Find, fix, finish.

(55:40):
All of those.
Cause I talk about the founding fathers and then they founded it and how terrible oflanguage that is too.
We founded this country.
What?
We founded it.
We founded it.
We walked here, saw it, liked it, found it.
No, anyway, but the finding, fixing to your smelly.

(56:05):
and then finishing and I talk about romanticizing the ends.
And I think that's something I'm working on now is like this whole concept of likebuilding out the romanticizing the ends, but even like the end, right?
They want you to give them the end.
by the way, even before we move on, fixing in this context means freezing you in place sothat you can't move.

(56:27):
Probably with my weapons and my military force, like you're fixed in that spot.
So I find you, I fix you, and I finish you.
But also feel free to use the other context of fixed.
But this ending, right?
So like, cause this is the thing that was really
like pissing me off, right?

(56:49):
And I like, in therapy, I was like, I'm the same level of angry right now as I was when Icame back from a year in war and all the things I did and were done to me.
And then I like stood behind Americans in a fast food line and just heard the absolutebullshit that we care about.

(57:10):
And I was like, I hate everybody, right?
And...
and it is part of this, right?
They're like, my God, so he's gonna be a dictator, okay?
Then we're still gonna have to pick up our weapons and go back to work, right?
Like, no matter what is the situation, right?
And I came up here, you'll like this.

(57:32):
I came up with this one, a new job for myself.
Like, I'm the fairy threat mother, right?
Like, that's what you're afraid of?
Okay, it's done.
Now what?
Yeah, that's what I have to, like.
But nobody wants to think about that.
They wanna think of the end, right?
He's just a dictator, America is over, and I don't have to care anymore.

(57:57):
I can just sit on my couch in sweatpants and eat chips because the apocalypse is coming,because the apocalypse is coming.
Instead of like, pick up my weapons and get back to freaking work.
Or yell at people who have the nerve to ask me to do things that I deem unimportantbecause the world is ending.

(58:18):
How dare you ask me to think about something as menial as language?
That's what they're telling me.
yes.
And that's exactly, and I say like, notice this apocalyptic language in all of it, right?
And it's always like, the robots are coming.
Like CEOs of companies are saying that, like, yes, the robots are coming.

(58:41):
Now go prepare your people.
Like, that's not the end of the, they keep being like, aha, Daniella, he's done this now,has your predictions.
I'm like, I said from the,
day he won the election, I said every check and balance in America is going to be tested.
He's trying to be a dictator.

(59:01):
Like, I hope America's gonna hold.
didn't lose last time.
Like at what point he said, he said lie.
He don't care about what the rules are.
we elected a man who's been bankrupt seven times because he was a good business leader.

(59:22):
Like.
when you are me, right?
Imagine I realized this Trump thing happened, you know, it only took me once.
And I realized, I actually realized before because I heard the men in my office and I wasin New Jersey and I was like, God, he might win.
What did I, did I go and just start yelling at people?
No, no.

(59:44):
I instead started thinking about like, how do we get people to stop engaging in this?
You know, cause people are the problem, not the hyper systemic fixing.
You can't go to the system to have it fix the people.
But the worship of the written word and the rules, and if we, he doesn't obey them.

(01:00:05):
Yeah.
Because they were made up and he knows, cause his people made them up.
He made them up.
this one, this came out in one of my lives yesterday and people were like, so how come GenZ doesn't wanna work anymore?
Cause they're not buying into your bullshit, right?
And this is my conclusion at the end of my chapter on like exploitation of labor and thecapitalist system is all exploiting us.

(01:00:30):
And it's like, but I think we're actually waking up, right?
Like I think we're waking up.
from the promise that working for the man was gonna take care of you.
It didn't, it never has.
The average American has never been well treated by the government.
That's why we don't have high opinions of things like Social Security and Medicaid and theVA.

(01:00:52):
It's crappy already, it's not what we are promised.
But we also understand that there's no...
There's no guarantee, right?
yeah, but there's also like so much shame built in and you look at, remember watching likeF is for family or something.
you know, and it's based in, guess the seventies.

(01:01:15):
and he's talking about being on unemployment and the shame of going to the unemploymentoffice.
You know, black people don't feel that way.
I don't like.
this idea that you should feel shame in taking advantage of the government, like thegovernment isn't taking advantage of you.
Black people don't feel that way.
But we're shamed for that, right?

(01:01:37):
That's weird.
best thing, the smartest thing that the American government ever did was convince peoplethat they get money back at tax time.
we don't even have to stop paying our taxes.
If everyone that receives a paycheck just set their exemptions to zero and just savedtheir own money and paid their tax bill at tax time, we would collapse the government.

(01:02:04):
Like they don't give, they hold your money, they hold it.
The government makes billions of dollars of interest every year.
Sorry, not set your exemptions to zero the other way around.
You go set your exemptions to nine or 10, right?
So they're holding none of your paycheck out.
And then at tax time, you just write a check for that tax money and you're still paying.

(01:02:29):
You don't have to have proper exemptions on your W-9.
You have to pay your taxes by April 15th.
That is all you have to do.
So people that understand this system just like keep their own money, make their owninterest off that money and then pay the bill.
And if everyone did that, the government would break.

(01:02:53):
Like you don't even have to stop paying your taxes.
You just like.
many ways does this government need to not be working?
pretty.
Wow.
the black and white thinking coat.

(01:03:14):
Perfection.
And that's funny because I'm always black anyway, but the
That's amazing, that's amazing.
I'm gonna wear it with like a black and white earring, but like on the wrong sides andlike, my goodness.
So black and white can be used for things, but I'm just saying be mindful or don't andshut up.

(01:03:34):
Like don't and just keep living your life.
But to yell at me for having the people who are, you know, this is a reach.
I really wanna be with you on this one.
I really, but this is actually a reach.
What?
What's happening?
Why would you tell me this?
I could block you.
And if I, if I were smart, I would.

(01:03:56):
And now you're, you know, you really want, and this person respects me and I'm sure theydo.
They're actually not, you know, being baited by the people who are like, yeah, she isterrible.
They're like, no, I just disagree on this point.
And I'm like, but you're still, whether you're right or wrong, you're doing a well,actually like that's what men do.
Well, actually get out of my face.

(01:04:18):
You know, if you think you are helping me in this scenario, hundreds of white women sayingthe same thing, I think it's fine to think.
And it's interesting to go in the comments.
And there's people who have said, I was going to say these things.
And I'm looking at the comments and like, thank you so much for blah, blah, blah.
Cause obviously it's not, it's not a, are bad.

(01:04:40):
It's a, why are you saying this?
it's wait, why am I talking, right?
Like we've been sold, we've been sold that all opinions are equal and all fears are equal.
like, I mean, I mean, I wasn't wrong when I was yelling at these people, right?
Like if you don't know what's going on, then be quiet, right?

(01:05:00):
Like listen.
And the concept, you know, I learned about this, of course, from black women, that whitewomen do this, is like,
no, know Rebecca, we love her, she does good stuff, but then as soon as we don't agreewith her, suddenly we forget that she knows her stuff and she probably didn't just not

(01:05:21):
know her stuff on this one thing.
And I was explaining this to people about why I don't do citations, right?
Because I'm like, I'm an expert, I have put enough in the world to establish mycredentials.
Nobody went out and found you and told you that you need to be here listening to me, butif you are,
People are like, she doesn't take questions.

(01:05:42):
And I'm like, no, my entire social media presence is responding to respectful questions.
But they should be respectful to the fact that I am an expert in this field.
This is my expertise.
And so when the question comes at me in a gotcha form, like, no, I'm on purposeembarrassing you and you deserve that.

(01:06:04):
Like.
like to be challenged on her.
No, I don't know.
Not by white people.
Actually, if a black woman ever comes in and goes, well, so there was one girl who was,and I was like, you're making the biracial still carbon.
I responded to one of the people gaslighting me about black and white thinking, explainingautism to me and as what like wild to him.
Like it is just, you have no idea the compound of, of hello.

(01:06:30):
We the room.
And then you got me second guessing like, is this not, even if I wasn't, you know, givingyou all my information about being neurodivergent, I mean, the signs are signing, but
which says you don't care.
Like, why are you talking to me about this?
I said, Hey, here's a thought.
And you said, here's my thoughts about that.

(01:06:52):
Unless they're, this helped me think, unless they're building, like I talk about blackpeople call and response, that's why people do speak and relate.
They go, well, I didn't think about it good and bad when I thought about black and white.
So many, I didn't think good and bad.
I thought rigid thinking.
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to have, okay.

(01:07:14):
So with rigid, like I say, I'm holding your hand with rigid thinking.
What do we tend to feel about our decisions that there are right, right, wrong, right.
Good.
Those are elements.
We're refineries.
me, for me it's always gonna be hard to understand.
Like, did you forget that you're not an expert on this topic?

(01:07:34):
Like, did you forget when you were here listening to all these interesting things, butonly when you hear something you don't like, do you forget that you're not an expert on
this topic.
And so like.
about the people who, so I feel like I get it mostly with people who, so there are thepeople who are, really wanna respect whatever, but I go look and they don't even follow

(01:07:57):
me.
Cause I do feel like for me, it ends up being a lot of the people who just found me ontheir, so I talked about them discovering me on their FYP, like some Christina Columbus's.
They're like, whoa.
I've never seen this before and she's saying something interesting.
I got to tell her she's wrong about it because that's not how I would personally, andshe's saying white people and I'm a white people and I don't view it that way.

(01:08:22):
So I got to let her know so that she, and my God, huh, huh, right?
But people who have been there a long time and since I've been doing it for four years,they can speak to my credits, but there's just like none given to me.
There's no like, she's here already.
do this, sometimes before I block someone, I'll go look at whether they follow me.

(01:08:44):
And if they do follow me, I will consider that maybe that question came in a differenttone.
And that's it, right?
Because if you were following me, then that's probably a respectful question.
And if you weren't following me, you should have known that that's a very disrespectfulway to ask that question.

(01:09:06):
We have, we are even as autistic people, you could understand when there are people askingyou questions with bad intent, especially when all you're coming, you are making it open
and it is free for everybody.
You are in a public park speaking to however many people are there at the park that day.
And maybe there's like so many, need a microphone.
Someone comes directly up to you while you are there with the microphone, asking you aquestion that says something, right?

(01:09:32):
There's all these people, look all the people got it.
There are people waiting and you think you and just cause you did it nicely, just causeyou have a genuine question.
Cause you are, you are honestly asking and you don't mean any harm.
There is still this element of your right to comfort in there and that speak and relatemindset.
Like I just have a, like you don't know how long these have been happening.

(01:09:54):
Yeah.
You just walk into a park, like, clearly there's some like already things in place.
So it's an assignment I've given myself.
don't, excuse me, can I just drop these off?
don't ever cut the line anymore.
I will just wait in the whole line.
And the white woman urge to think that just because I'm just gonna drop this off, it'smore important than whatever's going on there.

(01:10:22):
It's strong, I notice it a lot all the time.
and it is exactly the right to come for it.
And literally the last time, right, I was holding a stack of signed books at FedEx andthey see me and they know me first of all, right?
Like if he wanted to, he could wave me up and he didn't.
And so I just stood there and like, I was just gonna go have drinks at the bar across thestreet, right?

(01:10:44):
Like I wasn't doing anything important, but I literally could have just been like, I'mjust dropping these off, okay, don't need a receipt.
And I just didn't, and I just like.
sat there and paid attention to all my feelings about it.
And I was like, okay.
that's a lot.
That's the work.
Because I don't imagine Black people, and then if we ever have the audacity to think,we're just, because I'm sure there are Black people, if there are Black people, right?

(01:11:11):
Say imaginary, hypothetical.
In that line, I would be waiting.
Especially if you've never been there before, you don't have this thing.
And then imagine just from that perspective, this white lady coming in with her big box,like, very comfortable.
Maybe, but if I'm also just doing that, whatever, it's just things to think about.

(01:11:31):
You know, it's not necessarily right or wrong.
It's not the binary.
And people are trying to put a binary in my opinions of consider this.
they're like, the other question, the other thing that I think connects it is like,remember we talked about every time you have the in something and they like to talk about
The gray.

(01:11:51):
They're like, so what do we talk about?
How do we discuss the gray when we do colors?
What do mean?
what is gray is this is gray.
How many shades of gray?
Okay.
Tell me that's more useful than saying colors.
Shades of purple makes way more sense than shades of gray.
I thought about black and white.

(01:12:13):
How do we, what do we replace it with?
Like if you haven't considered it for two seconds before you're like, this is.
And the last, I keep saying the last thing, but people saying like, but I work with poorpeople and they don't know, you know, I don't know if I would want to use binary with
them.
I, my head almost exploded, exploded from rural areas or they're poor until like, I don'tknow about binary.

(01:12:39):
Bitch, what?
What?
I out loud.
And these are people thinking they're doing
What?
don't know, but they think it's positive.
They think I'm going to go, okay, fair enough.
anything but just sit with it.
Poor, this is what you guys think of each other.

(01:13:03):
And that's what I wanna say about white people in their community.
Cause what's that?
That was weird.
Like you're doing this to everybody.
And I think they do that with MAGA in a way I get nervous, right?
Cause it's starting to feel like you think they look like different people.
You think they are like.
maggots someone said to me and I know and I'll never get over that because I really don'tlike that at all.

(01:13:28):
Don't make me do it don't you dare make me defend Republicans.
Yeah that's the last straw for me.
I want to turn around and be like, and how often do you even use black and white?
Like focusing on hypothetical harms.
There are at least, I'm sure, I'm going to have to at least replace it 20 places in mybook.

(01:13:51):
So I use it, and like, okay.
Or like, I think we probably talked about this one, but like somebody said to me, we don'tuse sacred cow anymore.
And I was like, no, like that's an actual problem for me, right?
Like I actually need a replacement for that concept because I use that in my criticalcritiques of groups.

(01:14:14):
And so I just said, has anyone done this before?
And I didn't feel like researching, so I decided to use sacred moose.
You know, like it's easy, yeah.
It gets the point across.
Like it can turn into funny stories.
Like it lets me talk to Canadians.
It lets me talk to Canadians about how I'm still mad at them.

(01:14:34):
Cause when they left the war, they took Tim Hortons with them.
And you know, like.
it opens up opportunities to be even more specific and connected with your audience.
Less so that everybody knows this.
So everybody, remember we talked about like, this needs to be accessible to everybody.
You mean white people?
Like white people who are not inclined to reach for anything.

(01:14:58):
When people tell me I'm reaching, I'm like, is this a right to comfort thing?
You never reached for something?
As a former dancer, know, and growing up, I danced and ballet.
I can reach real good.
You didn't even say stretched.
It's a stretch.
You said, this is a reach.
I don't know.
That's, I think that's a weird insult.
I think it's very white insult to be like, you may, or the, know, you see this stuffeverywhere.

(01:15:24):
If you look for it, you'll find it.
No.
sergeant and lieutenant didn't want to give in to me on something and they were like,ma'am, we can't do this without, you know, the battalion commander being involved.
And I was like, cool, I work for one of those.
Can I talk to him?
And they were just like, you know, this whole like, there are people too.

(01:15:46):
Like, I mean, like if this...
Bro Club text message scandal doesn't show everyone that it's the silliest people runningour government.
This is not a serious thing anymore.
Was it ever, yeah.

(01:16:08):
was.
But that's, and I think that's what's upsetting to people, right?
It's like I'm taking their forefathers and I'm making them into the dudes that they weresometimes.
Even in the everyday life, it's like, I'm taking, well, I'm sorry, they were, but mypeople have always known this.
Every single one of your presidents was a white man.

(01:16:28):
One of my favorite scenes of Hamilton is when the founding fathers are just in a barfucking drinking and shit talking women.
Because like, yes, that's absolutely what they've been doing the entire time.
Like, we gonna, hello, hello?
And the royal family is just a family.
And in fact, you know, I talk about like, they don't have like special blood.

(01:16:50):
I had to actually like think about the fact that they're just people and maybe theirfamily murdered extra.
I don't know.
But, and then I was talking about it on a live and they said, well, there is somethingspecial about their blood, but it's, you know, the inbreeding.
was like, fair.
And that's like such a part of white history.
related to each other.

(01:17:11):
And it's such a part of white history.
I was, so I was talking about, oh my God, whatever, skinny white woman, press secretary, Idon't even remember her name, right?
She just has now the plastic surgery MAGA mask, the MAGA mask, right?
Like they all look like, she's 27 years old and she looks 50.
It's so sad, it's so sad.

(01:17:32):
And you just see like the joy has gone out of her eyes.
racism ages you like terribly.
like, so this, you know, in cult, it's a uniform appearance, right?
And then of course, someone was like, well, it's not fair.
Like, my ancestors are Mormons.
We all look alike because we're all related.
And I said, yeah, this happens in cults.

(01:17:56):
And see, that's not us.
from pedophiles.
I am from, to both sides of my family are the worst kind of humans.
what, right?
Like it's just.
be on this podcast together, because it's like almost like a biracial in a different way.
And I'm like, both of my lineages have suffered, right?

(01:18:16):
I got Jewish people, I've got black people, and then we're all just like, how dare youwhite women be so fucking scared?
What do you even mean?
You have everything.
You have everything.
You have access to everything.
You could easily just grab them by the balls.
You're like right there.
And you're like, what do we do ladies?

(01:18:37):
From Alpha-
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I always say that.
So I always say this, we're gonna get real close and personal with the audience, right?
Like, it is hilarious to me that men think that them getting a blowjob is them in aposition of power.
Meanwhile, literally all of your most sensitive parts are in between our weapons.

(01:19:02):
Yeah, yeah.
And this is the energy I needed.
Also when I said white women are the men of women, I needed more like empowering vibes.
And I got a lot of like, oof, ouch.
Like, okay, but like this is really, really hard.
Like men are doing, like I said, know, men are people too.

(01:19:24):
But like, but so if you're saying that, then you, what are you thinking their power is?
Because if I said that, then what are you expecting men to do?
Just go like, damn ladies, that hurts.
That's it.
That's it.
Your whole response to men are really scary, dangerous and do harmful things is, whoa,whoa.

(01:19:49):
And you're so, you know, you're so great and nice because you didn't hit me over the headafter I said it to you for hurting your feelings.
You're like, I'm nice.
I'm not going.
I'm not gonna yell at you for telling me that.
I'm actually gonna accept it.
Yeah, I was hoping that was kind of my bare minimum.
And now that you're saying it out loud, I'm thinking you're done.

(01:20:13):
You know, was like.
Surprisingly, we don't come out here and do all of this work, because we want people toyell at us.
Like, never, you know, I'm never hoping that like, this one makes people really mad at me.
Seriously, someone just commented to me, like, you know what you're doing when you dothis.
Like, you know this is the reaction you're gonna get.

(01:20:35):
And, wow.
we do social commentary.
Maybe that's the point.
When I put up videos saying things about alcoholics, anonymous being, or cults, I knowthat's the reaction I'm gonna get.
I did a thing on child exploitation, and when I was explaining one-one cults, I put up apicture of Johnny and Amber, and I said, I know that that's gonna make you angry, and I

(01:20:58):
want it to.
And then at the end of the brief, I put up all these other...
I was-
like MLMs, 12 step per hour, like all of these things.
And I'm like, I'm trying to make you angry right now.
Like come at me, this is part of the conversation, right?
Part of the conversation is that we can't talk about this, you know?

(01:21:20):
And like, I just.
The Johnny Amber thing, and we may have talked about it little bit, but I was so, that'swhite women community, where it could be and wasn't.
I can't even believe the conversation got where it was at, because the black peopleweren't, it didn't really touch black communities like that.

(01:21:40):
I mean, we heard stuff, but it was like, mean, the facts, so the facts are older, famousman, younger, less famous.
but she evil because she say he evil and he evil, but it's okay.
Cause his mom, white women.

(01:22:03):
just the hubris to think that you can tell with paid actors, right?
Like, who is telling the truth, what is the show?
Like, just the hubris there, right?
To be like, I, no, but like, like I never.

(01:22:23):
would get into the age dynamic thing.
Like this just the whole thing infuriates me so much.
But I'm just like, just this is this
public involvement in that was weird.
Why are, why, why are we here?
Why do you want us to be involved in this?
that the drive for the public was part of it.

(01:22:45):
So I feel like sometimes white women or like people don't consider like, why is this infront of me?
They just take it that this is in front of me.
Now this is for me to something.
there's also something here where, know, like I say, like, because cult members have neverexperienced non deceptive sales, they think being popular and using influence techniques

(01:23:07):
and having something to sell makes you a cult leader, it makes you deceptive.
Instead of like, I went out and wrote the book I needed to write for this process.
And if you're in this process, I'm good at finding you, I'm good at keeping you here longenough to listen to me.
Yeah.
I'm a fantastic entertainer and influence professional and now I'm gonna offer you thisproduct in exchange, right?

(01:23:29):
And I feel like this is what's happening with the reaction that you and I get wherethey're like, because I've seen other people use public outrage to enrich themselves or to
whatever or to whatever, right?
Like I know, I know that my Monday morning video welcoming you to Wegex of the Trumpadministration is gonna go.

(01:23:51):
Viral, I know, that's why I make it.
And the discussion is part of what I'm going for.
But like, that doesn't mean I'm asking for abuse, right?
And that doesn't mean that I'm doing it for deceptive purposes, right?
Like I know setting it up this way is gonna get a reaction out of people.

(01:24:13):
Yes, I know that, that's part of why I've done it this way.
But it doesn't mean that I'm rage baiting.
goal though.
Like that's not the end of it.
Right.
Their attention isn't the end of it.
Right.
So that people tend to think like how I engaged with it must be your entire goal thatcentering themselves in my story.

(01:24:38):
it's like the people that keep getting critical of me for getting me kicked off, right?
And they're like, and I'm like, you're not a creator, you don't understand this.
Oh, well, other creators, other creators play the game more so that because getting theattention is the end goal, getting these high lists, my end goal is selling books and I've
sold 4000 of them, they kick me off as many times they want, right?

(01:25:01):
Like I'll be back the next day selling more books like, but that's my goal.
Yeah.
Yep.
like, I don't like things I don't need your coaching on how to like be like other people.
It's just like
of their white-splaining my page to me.
You do this and you do this and you're called this and you, oh, what are you telling?

(01:25:25):
I'm the one who made the content.
You always do, they didn't like that I did the black and white thinking after white picketfence.
You're kind of, you're watching my stuff and just to get worked up and self-imposed sufferon yourself and like.
You're mad at me for having these thoughts and sharing them.

(01:25:45):
but then telling me, do this.
Yeah, yeah.
What am I supposed to gain from you telling me what I'm doing?
It's weird.
And I think like a good thing to white women walk away with from this is just the way, amI talking?
And just like specifically, just ask yourself, like, are you an expert on this?

(01:26:08):
Like we did this thing in graduate school because literally everyone, everyone in graduateschool has experience, right?
We're all studying group psychology or organizational psychology because we haveexperience.
Right.
leadership of large groups, right?
Somebody did the math for us and said, we are paying $317 a minute to listen to ourprofessor.

(01:26:31):
So unless what you have to say, your individual story, your individual this, right?
Like, please, please don't, you know?
Like, unless you're adding something.
I would only add something when I felt it was a cult thing or an army thing that like theprofessor themselves didn't understand and I could add something to the conversation.
That's it, five times a semester, you know?

(01:26:53):
But it's just like, why?
Why are you talking, right?
Like even if everyone just agreed with what we said, it would be an overwhelming amount offeedback, right?
So it's just like, but like really, when you hear something from someone else that youdisagree with, like, wait, am I an expert on this?

(01:27:16):
Right.
even works on whether or not you wanna pick that fight, you know, or just like what, justlike.
the, like, slow down.
And like, the weight can also be with an extra T is who am I talking to?
Right?
Because a lot of people in my comment section are just kind of like, this is what thatmeans.

(01:27:36):
And I say that I know what it means in the, or what, you know, I indicate, and I'm onelike, who are you telling this to?
And I've said it to quite a few people in my comment section.
Like who, who, and then it's kind of like anyone in the comments.
they say, this was on my FYP, this is the first time I'm interacting.
So you don't even know who you're getting mad at right now.

(01:27:57):
You don't even know.
This is like, it's all the energy of like, every time these people criticize, again,because like, I'm open to critique.
When you haven't read my book, you're gonna do a really bad critique of my book.
And I, surprisingly enough, have read it.
Right.
like, I'm gonna win this one.

(01:28:18):
I'm not shutting you down.
I'm literally just saying, I know this better than you.
And you're the fool here arguing with someone who you don't know who they are.
Like I know who I am.
And the benefits of community are that you don't feel the need to defend yourself orexplain yourself.
You know, like in the beginning, maybe you would have given all, but like, as you start tolisten to people.

(01:28:41):
And I know people can speak for me in the comments and not in like a spoken for, causethat's a whole other thing we can talk about what I bet.
Like I did have someone say, like, sorry, I did have someone say, you know, I pay for herstuff on Patreon and these, this is how people are acting when they get it for free.
And like,
That comment did something for me.

(01:29:03):
Cause it's like agreed.
I was a priceless and valueless aren't to get like, those aren't one of the same.
Yeah.
Just the way they're just trample all over the points and stuff.
And like you said, you're in your house.
I said, that's to tell people like, look at where I am.
Look what I'm doing.

(01:29:23):
I have not left.
am in my home sharing my thoughts and feelings on the internet.
for free.
Did you pay for this?
No.
Did you?
No.
And even if you did, maybe you'd respect it more.
And I'm just thinking and like, people respect what they have to earn, but it shouldn't bethat way.
But you see how they treat things they feel entitled to just cause it's accessible.

(01:29:48):
I just have to talk about this one because somebody asked me that if for the paid members,I could control my dog's barking.
And I don't know in what right to comfort universe they think I can control thisRepublican dog.
But like.

(01:30:10):
I'm just like, if if I a sound sensitive, triggered PTSD, like.
I could control my dog barking, do you not think that I would do it?
The consumer privilege, right?
And it's the saying it out loud and the thinking this is funny.
At best they can just be like, it was a joke.

(01:30:32):
But I punch a little bit.
Like just a little bit.
Shut up!
See, like, what?
barks I have to survive every day because I didn't know what I was signing up for.
what?
are in here, okay?
This is, I have to work around this.

(01:30:52):
You think if there was something I could do you would even know that I- ugh I just-
Yeah, yeah.
And that's why we say, why am I talking?
Cause sometimes we go, and I do it myself.
That's the only reason I come up with this stuff is like, I'll be in the comment sectionand be like, I'm trying to figure out how to say this.
And that alone tells me, nah, don't say anything.
Even if I'm like, well, I don't want it to say, that's my cue.

(01:31:16):
Move on.
Don't have to say anything.
It's always an option.
Silence is always available.
It's like right there.
Yeah.
And I always say, you know what, if you ask a question, you're playing question roulette,right?
Like we all know that tone can be misinterpreted.
We all know the features of these platforms that we're on.

(01:31:38):
So like people figure out how to ask things respectfully all of the time.
And when, when you don't think about it, I might use you as an example.
Like I, I don't know what else to say.
Yeah, like, and you'll be all right.
Like the people in my comments were claiming oppression because of the things I've said ona TikTok video.

(01:32:02):
And they think it and they say it out loud and they're like, this is oppression.
What you're doing here.
yeah.
I just want us to remind ourselves, like, you can literally get a pogo stick, go buy somefrozen yogurt, wear some underwear on your head and go hopping down the, like what?
You can do this, whatever chicanery you want, like, please stop apocalypticizing,fantasizing about the apocalypse and like.

(01:32:32):
making it the problem of people who are telling you that it's not their problem.
this is, I think, yeah, like what I have learned is like black women are more than happyto joke about this administration, to like rag on it.
Like they do not want or need to be comforting, to be comforting me.

(01:32:58):
And like, please stop.
asking black women to comfort you because that's right to comfort.
They are sharing the way they are sharing for a reason, right?
Ignoring it is part of it.
It is humanizing these people as just people with terrible opinions.
You don't spend time talking about the terro- the worst of the things.

(01:33:20):
What you appreciate, appreciates.
Where your energy goes, your energy is spent.
Like you have a limited amount of it.
And if all you used to spend your time doing is freaking out, what have you done?
And, you know, just like as a reminder to people, because I'm one of these people that isvery anxious and like we all, we are all afraid of horrible things happening, right?

(01:33:42):
Like we are all afraid of our children dying and everyone I know who's a parent thinkstruly believes they would not survive something happening to their child.
Yet numbers would indicate that most parents survive it, right?
And so like,
Horrible, horrible things can happen to you at any time and you just have to deal with itand pick up your weapons and get back to work.

(01:34:06):
You want proof, look at black women.
Black women, when we talk about, you know, what an angry black woman looks like or what acrying black woman looks like.
I've cried on the internet very few times, but it's moved people.
like white women did not care.
You know, I don't think people have have ready images of black women crying, but they'reeverywhere.

(01:34:28):
They are literally everywhere.
We talk about Emmett Till and Mamie Till.
And I just want white women to understand when we talk about Emmett Till real quick that
It was questioned.
We live with this reality.
The only reason you know about it is because she made sure that her face was there.
The right to comfort was not anywhere.
It had to be pushed, had to be triggered, that you must see the face of this thing.

(01:34:51):
And even still, the newspaper said, I think she's making this up, or she's hiding, he'shiding.
She did that because they said, he's not actually missing, whatever.
They're doing this to stoke the flames in Chicago and blah,
This has always been bad, it's always been terrible.
And black women have been surviving the worst things imaginable to your admins, like theworst thing that could happen to you.

(01:35:17):
Black women have been surviving it, writing about it.
Like, just read the room when you are freaking out about, is it happening or is ithypothetical?
And I also just wanna say, sometimes tough love is necessary, right?
So when people are telling you to check your privilege, I think that's always done withlove, right?

(01:35:40):
Because they wouldn't be telling you.
When I tell people to grab a journal, I'm doing that with love.
I am telling you that I hear what you're saying and it needs to go somewhere.
It's not here though.
Tough love.
And I think people get confused with tough love and torture for obedience.
Like torture to control obedience is not at all what tough love is.
Tough love is, yeah, I'm not going to say the easier thing now, which would be, I don'tknow, but like, it's not my point to find the easier thing.

(01:36:09):
That's never been my life.
It's always been like, interesting is better.
You know, fix what's already happening.
I already know white women don't know how to engage with this.
So what am I doing?
Trying to talk to them about it so that they are better equipped and more comfortable andhave the tools to talk about it.
What are white women doing?
Yelling at me.
You know, like they could do similar.

(01:36:30):
Follow the example.
Wait, why am I talking?
All right, more gems like this on Rebecca's Patreon page, and please don't be yelling ather in the comments.
Otherwise, you know, we might make fun of you here.
Yeah, or you can go yell at the people yelling at me if you really want to get out some ofthat anger at the Nazis and stuff.
There are people in my comment section who need a humbling and I'm tired.

(01:36:53):
So like that's always a place you can go.
And there are people who are funny in there.
Funny.
Tearing them down.
So that's, that's what.
answer the silly questions for the millionth time, like if you go after people.
So thank you all so much for hanging out today.
Haley, are you going to stand up and show us your purple suit, please?
Because there's some awesomeness going on.

(01:37:13):
We love purple.
And it's like the perfect thing when I was talking about red, blue, and purple.
I didn't even like make this full connection.
The shades of purple, and everyone loves shades of purple.
Let's see.
You can't.
Like if you see someone covered in purple and you're still like in a bad mood, I don'teven know what you're doing.
Yeah, see, if you see this person out, you're like, they're interesting.

(01:37:36):
They have an interest.
all in lavender.
I was mocking Elon Musk in videos and stuff.
But anyways, big furry lavender earrings and a lavender scarf again.
And a lady, she was a black woman of course, thanked me.
She was like, thank you, I needed this today.
You know?

(01:37:57):
Oh, look at this purpleness, look at this purpleness.
And, and.
color.
beauty at a thrift store yesterday.
I was like, this is why we thrift.
but I'm traveling tomorrow, so I packed a, I'm like.
My black and white coat now, black and white thinking coat.
I love that and if people hear you ever say that thing, I'm like, oh, wait, what was I

(01:38:22):
Yeah
I'm gonna pick fights.
I'm gonna pick fights about it all the time now.
All right.
I love it.
I love it.
Thanks so much everybody.