I Wish You Could Hear This
Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You’re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They’re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.
Episodes
Summary:
In this inspiring and down-to-earth episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, hosts of the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast, for a candid conversation about reigniting intimacy and connection in marriage. The DiLorenzos open up about their personal journey through seasons of challenge and renewal, including how the bold decision to start a 60-Day Sex Challenge reshaped their relationship.
...Summary:
In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explore the complexities of anger, challenging the conventional wisdom that venting is a healthy way to manage it. They discuss research findings that suggest venting can actually exacerbate anger and aggression. Instead, they advocate for techniques that help regulate emotions and promote calmness, emphasizing the importance of understanding anger as a signal of emotional pa...
Summary:
In this engaging podcast episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn welcome Jonathan and Wendy Hoover to discuss essential insights into marriage. They explore the Hoovers' personal journey through conflict and resolution, emphasizing the importance of understanding the underlying motivations in disagreements. The conversation also highlights three critical factors to consider before marriage, focusing on faith, character, a...
Summary: In this podcast episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explore the complexities of communication and conflict in relationships, particularly focusing on the differences between men and women. They discuss a viral clip from a previous podcast that sparked significant conversation about how men process emotions and the importance of reassurance in relationships. The episode emphasizes the need for understanding and grace be...
Summary:
In this conversation, Jeff and Shaunti with guest Nate Graybill discuss the pressing mental health crisis and the vital role the church can play in recovery. They explore Nate's personal journey with addiction, the importance of authentic community, and how churches can build effective recovery programs that go beyond traditional counseling. They discuss the transfor...
Summary:
In this conversation, Shaunti, Jeff, and Chris Legg explore the common reasons couples find themselves at odds, focusing on the differences in communication styles and emotional thresholds. They discuss the importance of understanding translation versus interpretation in relationships, how emotional reactions can vary between partners, and the significance of believing the best in each other's intentions.
Resou...
Summary:
In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn, with guests Pastor Des Wadsworth, and Lenny Nasca, LCSW discuss the pressing mental health crisis facing churches today. They explore the challenges pastors face in providing support to those in need, the importance of lay counseling programs, and how to effectively recruit and retain volunteers for these initiatives. The discussion emphasizes the need for compassionate care...
Summary:
In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn discuss the concept of the mental load in relationships with Dr. Morgan Cutlip. They explore how feelings of unfairness and resentment can arise when one partner feels overwhelmed by invisible tasks and emotional labor. The discussion emphasizes the importance of communication, appreciation, and understanding the dynamics of emotional labor in marriage. Dr. Cutlip provides pr...
In this conversation, Shaunti and Jim discuss the pressing mental health crisis and the role of the church in addressing it. They explore the importance of traditional counseling and the need for a new system of care that includes community support. The discussion emphasizes the importance of building capacity within churches to provide emotional support and the legal considerations involved. They also address the fea...
In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with singer-songwriter Dave Barnes to unpack the emotional world of men and the dynamics that shape relationships. Together, they explore the often-overlooked depth of men’s feelings, how love is expressed differently than women might expect, and the surprising role of music and creativity in emotional connection.
They also div...
Episode 18: Happy Couples Hang Out
Description:
Join Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn as they delve into the habits of the happiest couples. Discover the deceptively simple secret that we learned in the research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages about the power of simply spending time together and how that plays a role in maintaining a strong relationship. Learn from real-life e...
In this candid and insightful episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn welcome author and intimacy expert J. Parker from Hot, Holy & Humorous. Research shows that in roughly 75% of marriages, the husband has a higher sex drive or initiates more often. But what about the other 25%—when the wife is the one with more desire, or when the couple’s patterns don’t match the stereotype at all? J. Parker, whose minis...
In this engaging conversation, Dr. Michael Sytsma, a seasoned therapist specializing in marriage and intimacy, shares his extensive experience and insights into the complexities of sexual relationships. The discussion covers common questions couples have about their sexual health, the importance of understanding desire discrepancies, and the normalization of various sexual experiences. Dr. Sytsma emphasizes the significance of comm...
In this conversation, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn explore the fundamental differences in how men and women process thoughts and decisions. They discuss the implications of these differences on relationships, emphasizing the importance of understanding and communication. The episode highlights the brain wiring differences, the significance of verbal versus internal processing, and practical strategies for couples to navigate these cha...
In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn interview Michelle Lentz, an Instagram influencer and author, who shares her journey through marriage, parenting, and overcoming significant life challenges, including a devastating earthquake. Michelle discusses the importance of community support, the power of prayer, and treating your spouse like a friend to build a strong marriage. Her insights are particularly valua...
Bonus Episode 13: Looking Back, Moving Forward
Description: In this heartfelt Season 1 finale bonus episode, Shaunti and Jeff take listeners on a reflective journey through the most powerful insights shared over the season. This bonus installment isn’t just a recap—it’s a spiritual reset button that captures the highs, lessons, and most touching moments that moved both guests and listeners alike.
Episode 12 Release Date: June 17, 2025
Duration: Episode 11: 44 minutes
Summary: Shaunti, Jeff, and Jenilee Samuel (host of the Java with Jen podcast) explore the complexities of being a woman leader in ministry, the challenges of marriage, and the importance of understanding the male psyche. Jenilee shares her journey from being a missionary kid to a co-pastor and her experiences ...
Summary: In this engaging conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn are joined by Arlene Pellicane, author of Making Marriage Easier. Arelene shares insights on how to prioritize marriage, avoid the roommate syndrome, and implement small, practical actions to strengthen relationships. The podcast also explores the profound effects of social media on relationships, emphasizing the need for intentionality in how we engage...
Summary:
In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn, along with clinical psychologist Dr. James Sells, explore the phenomenon of young adults going “no contact” with their parents. They discuss the emotional turmoil this causes for both parents and children, the factors contributing to this phenomenon, and the importance of family therapy in addressing these issues. The conversation highlights the...
Summary: In this conversation, Montel and Kristin Jordan share their transformative journey from the music industry to marriage ministry. They discuss the challenges they faced in their marriage, including a crisis that led to a renewed commitment to each other and their faith. Through their experiences, they emphasize the importance of prioritizing marriage and the lessons that now guide their work in helping others ...
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