What to Do When Dark Thoughts Consume You

No one is immune to sickness. Whether we are talking about a cold or a mental illness.

Yes, even if you are a doctor, you can still get sick physically. And yes, even if you are a psychologist, you too can suffer from mental illness.

No one is immune. But what do you do when dark thoughts consume you? How can you be there for yourself? In this video, Jellis Vaes, a mental health coach and founder of The IPS Project, an educational platform on life, explains step-by-step how to use The Wellness Plan—a tool to help you be there for yourself during such moments. _______

📦RESOURCES📦

Podcast episodes:

• Lessons about Life and Death from a Cancer and a Cardiac Arrest Survivor | Dr. Martin Inderbitzin and Jellis Vaes
• Dr. Guy Macpherson, Ph.D. What is Psychological Trauma and How to Heal It
• Mark Henick – Mental Health Advocate, Coping with Suicidal Thoughts
• Sean Galla, Founder of Men’s Group: Being a Man Is Not Easy/The Hardships Men Face

Websites:

• 5x3 white cards
• List of suicide crisis lines
• Warmline

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📚The IPS Academy📚If you feel that you’ve gained some insights and lessons from this video, and you are curious to see what else we offer at The IPS Project, check out The IPS Academy, where we offer online courses taught by guests on The IPS Podcast.

Learn more about essential life topics, such as mental health, relationships, the mind, and the body and the brain, through fun and interactive courses. Simply go to https://theipsproject.com/academy.

Each course has a few lessons to try for free, so you get a taste of what the course is like. We have countless reviews from other students so you can see what others think, and there is a 30-day money-back guarantee if you end up not liking the course.Again, check them out at https://theipsproject.com/academy.

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🕒Timestamps🕒

• No one is immune 00:00 - 02:33
• The importance of reminders in our life 02:33 - 04:27
• The Wellness Plan 04:27 - 04:46
• Step 1: Warning signs 04:46 - 05:30
• Step 2: Internal coping strategies 05:30 - 06:46
• Step 3: People and social settings that provide distraction or people whom I can ask for help 06:46 - 07:45
• Step 4: Professionals or agencies I can contact during a crisis 07:45 - 10:30
• Step 5: Reasons for living 10:30 - 12:27
• Make it visible 12:27 - 14:03
• The IPS Podcast 14:03 - 15:14
• Outro 15:14 - 16:08

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
What's up there, everyone? I'm Ellis Fass, the founder of
the IPS project, the educationalplatform on Life.
In my training at the suicide line, when we were all, you
know, going through that training, another person who was
also being trained, asked to oneof the trainers that she heard
the story of someone who worked at the suicide line, who

(00:21):
actually committed suicide. And everyone was shocked, me
included as well, right? Like how can someone who also
works at the suicide, the suicide line eventually end up
committing suicide as well? You know, knowing all these
things about suicide, one of thetrainers said something that has

(00:42):
always stuck with me and it sounds very simple, but when you
think about it, we often forget it.
He said that no one is immune. No one is immune.
You know, even if you work at the suicide line, it doesn't
mean that you all of a sudden are immune to those thoughts.
You are nuts. And you know it's the same for

(01:04):
doctors. You know it's not because they
studied medicine and they're a doctor, that they don't get sick
right Under the right circumstances, with the right
ingredients, everyone can end upfeeling unhappy.
Everyone can end up being depressed and everyone can

(01:25):
eventually also end up feeling suicidal.
If the ingredients and the circumstances are right.
That can happen. And there are many people who
have said that they never thought that they could ever get
depressed in life and then they eventually, at some point in
their life, again with the rightingredients, under a prolonged

(01:47):
amount of time got depressed. It's not because I studied
psychology. It's not because I am mental
health coach and I work one-on-one with clients.
It's not because I have, you know, interviewed many
professionals and experts on theIPS podcast.
That doesn't mean that I don't get to deal with, you know,

(02:08):
struggles internally and that I myself don't need reminders.
And that's actually here in thisvideo.
What I want to bring you if you're dealing with dark
thoughts, or even preventively already right now, if you want
to be there for yourself in the future, when you will have dark
thoughts with which again everyone will have at some

(02:30):
point, I want to show you something.
A way to be reminded. Because one of the most
important things that we need inlife are reminders to almost
everyone. This happened at least once,
that they go shopping without a shopping list and they're like,
yeah, I will not forget, you know, that item and then they're
like, oh damn, I forgot that item on the list.

(02:53):
Therefore, reminders are key in life.
Reminders are key, but also not just for daily life stuff or
work stuff, but also for our ownmental health.
Now what? I want to introduce you here in
this video to help you be reminded and to be there for
yourself. It's something that's originally

(03:14):
called the safety plan and it ismainly used for suicidal, for
someone who deals with suicidal thoughts.
But I have modified that and I've called it the Wellness plan
because basically I thought likethis could be used for just
general mental health problems too.
Pause this video, take a piece of paper.

(03:35):
And I, you know, I can't force you to do this right.
But the best way to truly gain something out of this video, out
of basically any kind of video or book or course or anything is
to take action already now. And I am trying to just remind
you of that that that is the best approach to truly walk away

(03:59):
from this video with something. So you can put this on a piece
of paper or I have even better buy these small cards, you can
buy them on well variety of different stores.
I will put in the description a link where you can buy these
cards and they don't cost a lot,but they're so perfect for this

(04:20):
as they easily fit your wallets,you know, and you can carry them
with you wherever you go. I want to show you how we're
going to create this, the different steps that this
Wellness plan consists of. And I want to do that by

(04:40):
actually showing you what's written on my Wellness plan as
an example. So step one is the warning
signs. We all have certain feelings or
moods that we ourselves feel much more easily than maybe
someone else. And for example, in my case,
loneliness, sadness, or just general dark dots, when I feel

(05:05):
down or when I'm triggered or something, those generally are
the main warning signs that I get.
And when I feel this more than one day, then that is a warning
sign that there is something going on.
What do you deal with often, youknow, do you deal often with

(05:26):
loneliness or maybe anger issues?
Or what do you feel often based on what you're currently going
through? And now we have Step 2, which is
internal coping strategies and this is basically things that
you can do to distract your yourown thoughts from you know, your
own problems without contacting another person.

(05:48):
Basically this comes down to what can you do yourself first
about this? That's Step 2.
And if we look at what I've written down, it's go climb or
taking a walk in nature. Listening to a podcast episode
or audio book related to the topic that that's causing me to

(06:09):
feel this way. Meditation.
That helps me a lot too during such moments.
Play guitar or piano? Go go for a run and watch an
episode from friends. Yeah, the TV series.
Write down the ones that you truly know can truly help you.
You know, you can write down a list of 100 things, but I guess

(06:30):
not all of of those 100 ones aregoing to be as effective as some
of them in that list of 100 ones.
So take a few out that you know,really help you in the moments
when you feel these warning signs.
And now we have step three afterthat, people and social settings
that provide distraction or people whom I can ask for help.

(06:53):
Now here you're going to list a couple of people that you know
when you call them, will be there for you or can listen to
you know something that you're dealing with.
For some, this might be a very difficult one, but everyone is
at least one person. Even if your relationship is not
completely perfect, if you at least know from previous

(07:16):
experiences that you've called to that person and they were
there to listen to you, that person you should write down.
And here, for privacy reasons, I've just made-up three totally
different names than the actual names that of the of the person.
And besides the name also write down the phone number.
Also, I just added some random phone number there, but just to

(07:41):
give you, you know, an idea how this all looks all right.
And then we move on to step fourand that is professionals or or
agencies I can contact during a crisis.
If you work with a therapist, then write down the name of that
person there and the phone number as well.
Or your doctor you could also write down there or maybe if

(08:05):
psychiatry. If you don't have, then well it
could always be a good investment to go to a therapist
and to just have that relationship with that person,
even if you don't, even if you're not in a crisis right
now. It's good to already have health
professionals in your life when you will have a crisis because

(08:26):
then you already laid out that connection and that contact with
that person. And then also write down a local
emergency service. Now I wrote down in my case the
suicide line on there with also again the phone number.
Now, it's not because I am suicidal or something, It's just
that I know that the suicide line here in Belgium is 24/7

(08:51):
available. The line is meant, of course, if
you're dealing with suicidal, suicidal thoughts.
But if I truly, you know, will continue to deal with
loneliness, sadness and dark thoughts for a prolonged time,
then those thoughts might might come to enter in my head again.
And I mean, it's something that I dealt with in the past for

(09:13):
many years, So I also know for myself that it is something that
canmore easily enter my thoughts.
So I wrote down the suicide line.
Now write down one local emergency line there.
And yes, even if it has to be the suicide line, and even if
you do not struggle with suicidal thoughts or anything

(09:34):
even close to that, write it down because you just never
know. This Wellness plan is a
reminder, OK, that we, if we look at it, we easily are
reminded of like, OK, that's an option actually as well.
Now you have in some countries also something that's called a
warm line. Belgium doesn't have it
unfortunately, but there's a couple of countries who do have

(09:57):
it. And basically this is just a
line that you can also call 24/7that is there to just listen to
you dealing with any related mental health issue.
So that could also be something very interesting to look up on
the Internet. If your country has a warm line,
if you just type it in on whichever browser that you're

(10:17):
using your country next to it, it should normally just
immediately show up and write down that phone number.
All right. And last but certainly not
least, what we want to write down on this Wellness plan is
step five reasons for living. The things that are most
important to you and worth living for what are reasons for

(10:42):
you to live? Write those down.
And the ones that I wrote down are my mom, sister, and my step
dads, my friends, my dog, the work that I do and the meaning
that it brings me. Being able to learn and do new
things in life. Creating music.

(11:03):
Those are a couple of things that really give me meaning to
live. And I could add so many more
things on that list, of course, too.
But just write down again the same like with, you know,
internal coping strategies. You don't per SE, write down
100. Write down the core ones that

(11:23):
you really know help. And here's well write down the
core reasons for living that youknow can help you to want to
live on. I know this Step 5 can be very
tough one to fill in, especiallyif you're watching this video
right now and you are, you know,dealing with a lot and you are
at the very you're just feeling really bad right now.

(11:46):
But at least try to write write down one.
Take some time, you know to justthink about this.
There will be at least one thingthat you can write down that is
you know it's for this Wellness plan.
Those are the things to write down.
If you put this on a cards like this, you know it's a bit
smaller than I just wrote down like step one, Step 2, step

(12:10):
three at the top and not per SE like you know warning signs or
internal coping strategies next to you know Step 2 for example,
there you can make it a little bit shorter, right?
Just add the key things on it. I mean you will know step one
what it will be about right whenyou read what you wrote on it.

(12:32):
And now the whole point of course of creating this is that
you also have it visible. You know it's useless to have a
shopping list if you then also don't look at it when you are in
store, it's useless to create that then, right?
The same here. It's useless to create this if
you also don't make it clearly visible and have it easily with

(12:53):
you somewhere. Once you fill this in, please
also take that last step seriousto make it visible.
Ideally buy these cards which again in the description I will
put a link to order them or create them yourself on a piece
of paper. Put them in your wallet so you

(13:15):
have them always with you. Or you can of course also put
this on your phone. But the key then is also that
you should place it somewhere that you can easily access it to
or print it out. You know, hang it on your
fridge. If you're really going through a
crisis right now, you can do that as well, Make it visible.

(13:37):
And this is definitely not a magical cure, right?
But I tell clients all the time too, what we're trying to do is
increase the chances of success,of when you are feeling bad, of
increasing the chances that you can handle it, that you can cope
with it, that you know that you're not alone.
And this Wellness plan is such atool to increase that chance.

(14:02):
Now, if you're currently struggling with a mental health
problem, I could also recommend you to check out a couple of
episodes on the IPS podcast on mental health related topics.
Interviews that I did with people such as Mark Henning, a
mental health advocate who helpspeople around suicide and just
around mental health. You know, bringing awareness on

(14:23):
that topic. Or Doctor Guy McPherson,
specialist in trauma. Or Doctor Martin Inderbitson, A
neuroscientist and pancreatic cancer survivor.
I did multiple episodes with him.
Often we talk around the topic of dealing with the hardships of
life or Sean Gala, the founder of men's group where we talk

(14:45):
about Men's health. Those are just some suggestions.
There are many more episodes on the IPS podcast that I did on
mental health related topics. They're all completely free, you
know, and I'm just, I'm just offering them to you in hope
that maybe they can further helpyou with whatever you're you're

(15:06):
currently maybe struggling with now.
All of them can be found in the description down below.
So check out the description andI want to end by just saying one
last thing. That if you can just take half
an hour or maximally an hour, you know to do all this that
hour, or that you're investing in yourself right now, you will

(15:27):
not come to regret this when once you are at a truly bad
place, or even right now. Doing it right now because you
are at a bad place can already serve you, and once it's
created, it's there and it can continually help and serve you.
You will not regret this and your future self will thank you

(15:49):
that you took time right now to create this Wellness plan.