This episode of Laid Open Podcast features guest Dr. Joli Hamilton, Ph.D., a research psychologist, relationship coach and founder of 'The Year of Opening.' Together, we discuss the challenges and opportunities of non-monogamous relationships, the importance of creating custom relationship dynamics, and the primal value of jealousy… because jealousy isn’t always a bad thing.
Dr. Joli also shares insights on the fluid nature of attachment styles, the complexity of jealousy, and her own experiences with non-monogamous relationships. Listeners can expect to learn about the importance of agreements, navigating jealousy, and the concept of internalized polyphobia. Our conversation provides a deep dive into conscious relationship building and the nuances of managing evolving relationship needs.
We also touch on the fluidity of attachment styles, the process of navigating differing desires between partners, and how cultural and personal backgrounds influence relationship dynamics. Dr. Hamilton also introduces her 'Jealousy Roadmap' as a tool for understanding and managing jealousy–a must for anyone who’s ever felt jealous and been made to feel bad about it.
00:00 Introduction to the Guest: Dr. Joli Hamilton
00:38 Exploring Jealousy and Eroticizing It
02:38 The Concept of Non-Monogamy
03:28 Creating Safety in Relationships
05:01 The Importance of Agreements
09:20 Attachment Styles and Relationship Dynamics
12:17 Navigating Non-Monogamy and Polyamory
18:43 Internalized Polyphobia and Cultural Norms
23:32 Seeking Validation and Understanding in Relationships
24:14 The Challenge of Conscious Awareness
24:57 Navigating Consent Violations and Unconscious Slips
25:37 The Complexity of Holding Deep Work in Relationships
26:01 Commitment to Loving and Creating Resonant Relationships
26:41 Sexual Trauma and Differing Needs in Relationships
27:34 Midlife Crises and Changing Relationship Dynamics
28:50 Exploring Sexual Autonomy and Freedom
29:59 The Importance of Slowing Down in Relationship Transitions
32:25 Desire Discrepancies and Non-Monogamy
34:01 Understanding and Embracing Jealousy
41:44 The Jealousy Roadmap and Relationship Customization
46:42 Conclusion and Resources for Further Learning
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