November 26, 2024 • 42 mins
How do you break away from superficial success and experience greater fulfillment and purpose in your life and business?
In this mind-expanding episode, we dive deep with Christine Jewell, a high-achieving speaker, author, podcast host, and faith-based executive coach, who has transitioned from training athletes to coaching top executives on how to achieve holistic success. Christine shares her unique perspective on how shifting the focus from mere physical fitness to a holistic approach that includes mental, emotional, and spiritual health can lead to real transformation and lasting success.
Christine’s personal faith journey from athletic training to addressing the root causes of executives' stress, pain, and chronic issues provides an inspiring narrative. Join us as we explore the idea that true success in life and business requires more than just behavior changes; it requires addressing fundamental issues of the heart and soul.
What We Discuss in this Episode
- Transitioning from training athletes to coaching executives
- The pivotal moment that led Christine towards a holistic coaching approach
- The importance of addressing root causes instead of behavior modification
- Christine’s personal journey of faith, trust and transformation
- How to build self-trust and personal integrity
- Managing life transitions as an executive
- Adjusting life priorities in achieving deeper change
- Common misconceptions about self-sufficiency and spiritual partnership
Podcast Highlights
0:00 - A calling to elevate consciousness and love.
5:15 - Journey of growth, athletics, teaching, and healing.
8:56 - Address root issues: mental, emotional, spiritual wellness.
9:42 - Guiding executives to balance success and well-being.
13:08 - People experiencing transitions, questioning life paths.
16:17 - Heart's motives shape blessings and life's patterns.
21:16 - Embrace all aspects of yourself, shortcomings included.
22:53 - Human limitations balanced by divine partnership.
26:28 - God gives more to handle; seeks partnership.
30:28 - Few are chosen; willing to embrace transformation.
32:08 - God loves to write redemption stories.
35:18 - Embracing submission and conflict to merge businesses.
40:47 - Rebuilding trust after betrayal in leadership, relationships.
43:54 - Unspoken expectations lead to broken trust.
45:16 - Trusting faith strengthens trust in His character.
Favorite Quotes
"True success starts not just by changing behaviors but by addressing the foundational issues of the heart and soul."
"Faith is the belief in the unseen, while trust is developed through experiencing God's character in faith-driven actions."
Episode Resources: https://leadersoftransformation.com/podcast/mindset/521-redefining-success-in-life-and-business-with-christine-jewell
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
How do you break away from the concept of superficial
success and really experience greater fulfillment in your life, in
your marriage, in your business? Our guest today is Christine
Jewell. She is an ultra high achiever, an elite athlete,
mother of 6, a keynote speaker, and a
faith based executive coach with over 25 years of experience
(00:25):
in the areas of health and peak performance,
entrepreneurship, and human behavior, all these
topics that I just love talking about. And she is the host
of the Breaking Chains podcast and the author of the new
book, Drop the Armor. So I'm really excited to have her here, Christine. Welcome to
the leaders transformation. Thank you for having me. I'm excited about this
(00:47):
conversation. Yes. Yes. And, so let's actually
just dive in this topic of transformation. You and I were talking
even beforehand, and we resonate so much in
this this need for transformation in the world and in
business and the way that we see ourselves, way that we see others. So
where did this start for you and why is it so near and dear to
(01:10):
your heart? Well,
where did it start for me? I honestly do believe that.
You know, we all have a calling. We all have a mission on this planet
and we are all here to obviously be lighthouses, bring more life to
the world, love one another, and to help elevate the
level of consciousness, the level of faith, the love bring the gifts of the
(01:31):
spirit to to earth. But also and I also believe that in that
unique calling, some of us just you know, we're gifted with different
things, different gifts. We're equipped with some some of them. We're bestowed with some of
them by God's grace. Thank you, Lord. And so I think that this gift of
this desire for change, for evolution, this sort
of insatiable appetite and restlessness within myself,
(01:54):
It's been there from the beginning. You know, it's in my DNA. It's in my
encoding. It's in my soul. It's in my spirit. It's in my bones.
And, if you, if you're listening and you know what I'm talking about, you
just know, right? It's not like something had to happen to
you to have this itch inside of your soul, but you're just like, man,
like, what else is out there? What else is possible? Like, there must be
(02:15):
something else. You have this deep stirring desire to, you know,
discover the mysteries of the world, the mysteries of the depth of meaning of
things. And so I just wanted to say that some some of us,
I I think a lot of entrepreneurs can relate to this. This is why you're
an entrepreneur. Right? You have a desire to see change in the world. You wanna
be an agent of change. So I always say, like, from a young age, I
(02:36):
was kind of a warrior spirit. Right? I was always looking for a battle to
climb, an obstacle to get it over. And and, I loved fighting
battles, and I was trained to fight battles my whole life. You know, in my
book, Drop the Armor, I talk about growing up with a father who my dad
worked for the CIA for years. He was recruited. He was kind
of a lone wolf mentality. That's kinda how they pull you into that. You know,
(02:57):
it was in the navy, then in the CIA. And, and just had a lone
wolf mentality, ultra high achiever himself. That's where I got it from.
Right? But also fighting battles his whole life with with alcoholism,
with addiction, with, you know, approval addiction of man,
alcohol addiction, sex addiction, different things. And so I just
saw my dad sort of fighting these battles his whole life. And it was
(03:20):
just this like weird reality of this worldly
success and glamour and traveling and all these things with this
extreme loneliness, extreme depression, and massive highs,
massive lows. And so what do you do? You're like, oh my gosh. I either
have to save my parent, save my dad from the
pit of despair that he's in or the sickness that he's getting, or I
(03:41):
never wanna be like my dad. So there's this, like, dual thing going
on inside of you. That's like, on one hand, you're like, I gotta save
them. And so you do everything and you perform and you try to get the
grades and you try to do the things at school and you try to fight
for, you know, the causes to get the attention. And then on the other side,
you're trying to run away from something you don't wanna ever, ever, ever
(04:01):
emulate. And often when we run away from our pain, we end up,
you know, just regurgitating the patterns, the cycles, the
wounding of the generation before us. Right? Like unhealed wounds, they
get passed on. And so I I share this because
it's I really do believe in this is also why my my podcast
is called breaking changes that, you know, we there's one that we
(04:24):
are chosen to break the generational patterns, the generational curses
for our families. And, you know, and I'm that one to break
certain generational patterns in my family. We all are chosen to
break them, you know, at some level, but that's really what the word transformation
is to move beyond the current reality, to
move beyond the current shape. You literally are changing
(04:47):
form. So you're changing the form of the shape of your
thoughts, the shape of your reality, what relationships look like, what
success looks like. And so began this quest,
very early on because of this motivation around my dad.
And then for years, I thought I was gonna create this
successful life and not be anything like him. But I quickly
(05:09):
realized, man, I thought I was doing something different, but really so
much of the fuel was the same. And so it it
led me through my own season of lot of DPOA, a lot
of internal growth, but always have been evolving
and growing, you know, and and really into this work. And so,
for years, I went into the athletic field.
(05:32):
I was a very high level athlete, world class triathlete and
stuff like that. So that was my avenue for a while. And I taught health
transformations to people and it was amazing, but I've always just been really fascinated
with like, wow, what can the body do? What can the mind do? What can
the spirit do? Like we can really renew and reinvent
ourselves. And we're the only species. We're the only,
(05:54):
you know, we're the only ones with the level of consciousness that God
has gifted to have the awareness that we can change and we're able to
change. So I wanna close the loop on that story is that, you know, today
I actually went to go see my dad this weekend in Florida and
we have done a nice full circle of healing. Right? And that those
generational patterns have been broken, but I'm 48. You
(06:16):
know, it's been decades of of work and of healing for
me, for my children, for my father, for our family.
And, we need to honor the timing and seasons of
things as we go through these transformations, and they never end.
Yeah. Right? We're always evolving. We're always growing. We're always remembering
more of who we are. And I believe we're always, hopefully if we are faith
(06:39):
based, maybe becoming more and more Christ like. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, and it is a journey. Like, I think that just even in
saying that, you know, sometimes we think we need to arrive, especially high achievers. It's
like, I'm going for the destination. I'm gonna get there. And then I'm gonna be
like, whew. I got it. And I don't know how many times I have
said I can think of 3 specific times in my life, but I'm sure I've
(07:01):
said it many more times than that is, you know, I got this. And God's
like, girl, let me tell you. You got, you know,
you you don't got it. Okay? Yeah. You got a lot of pride. You got
a lot of pride is what you got. And so pride
before the fall, and you realize how much more
growing that you have to do and we're or that we better yet
(07:23):
get to do to become the best version of ourselves. And so now
you coach and talk a little bit about who you coach and
what are the areas that you really focus on. Yeah. So I just mentioned
that I went into sports and athletics for many years. I was a high level
athlete. I played multiple sports. And so in Toronto, I had started a
bricks and mortar facility in Toronto, just outside of Toronto, Canada. My
(07:45):
hometown. Is it? Yes. I think we shared that. Yeah. Gosh.
And now we're in the US and totally different side of this other country. But
so just outside of Canada, and, you know, those those are my years training
athletes, training executives too, just on mostly fitness,
mindset, nutrition, like racing. Everything was about
winning. Everything was about winning. More medals, less weight, go
(08:07):
faster, compete, compete, compete. But what happened
was after about 10 years of doing that, you know, you just kinda like hit
this point where you're like, man, one more medal, one more race,
one more notch on the belt, one more thing of success. I built a
successful business, but as I started coaching less athletes and more executives,
I started to see the same patterns, which was this, like,
(08:29):
insatiable. It's like a carrot that's hanging on a stick. Right? And we're always just
chasing this carrot that never takes us anywhere
fulfilling. I remember standing on so many podiums, literally, first
place, first place, first place thinking, like, the
high lasted, like, a minute. You know? And then I was already analyzing
everything I did wrong in the race or if I was gonna get the next
(08:49):
one or who the competition was gonna be or if I got 2nd place. 1st
play second place is 1st loser. That used to be my motto. You know? Yeah.
But after all the athletes, then I started coaching more and more executives who actually
started coming into my facility with a bunch of issues,
waking, chronic pain, stress, you know, all kinds
of issues. And as I started to do, like, nutrition and mindset and
(09:11):
all the traditional stuff, I was like, man, so many of these issues
are mental, emotional, or spiritual roots.
Autoimmune diseases, again, chronic fatigue, chronic pain,
burnout. And so God just led me, you know,
I ended up here because I started to see all these people and I'm like,
they really need to work on their marriage. This is a heart issue. This
(09:33):
isn't a food issue. Like I could change your diet all day long. We can
give you the workout plan and that's important, but we need to get to the
root and not just continue to work at the surface level. So
over the years that evolved that I started to work with more and more executives,
and my heart was just really burning for entrepreneurs and executives
because I did see my dad climb, climb, climb, climb,
(09:53):
climb the corporate ladder, the success ladder after you know, and
then crash and burn. And literally, like, lose his family, lose his
home, lose all the wealth that he had built, you know, lose his dignity in
many ways. And really experience is 3, 4 decades of just
distance from everyone that all his children, all his family.
And so I just such a burning desire to like, kind of go
(10:15):
stop, you know, before you burn everything down. And so I just,
I wanted to say that because God brought me into this place where it's just
the evolution again of the business. Right? The transformation of the business is now
we're going to do this work. And it's actually a beautiful thing because
the way that I do executive coaching today allows me to deal with the
matters of the heart, deal with human behavior and psychology and all the
(10:37):
mindset principles and the business stuff. I've been
in businesses, creating businesses for myself since I was 21. But now I have
this like almost 2 decades of holistic health and performance
of how the body works. Right. And how the body keeps the score. And it's
so great because what do most people say? My energy sucks.
My men, my mind is foggy and it's not just mindset work. You
(11:00):
know, there are things you need to look at. More
holistically, like how you're moving, how, what you're eating,
what, what the body's telling you. And then you can stack, you know,
the mindset work, the heart work, the spiritual work and the physical
work. And I think that's what allows us to have this holistic
approach to, to the human instead of just this person's
(11:22):
doing this and this other person's doing this one thing. And, you know,
Yeah. Well, I think as as high achievers, we are
taught that it's about doing. And I think about the this model that I
use in my coaching, which I learned from one of my mentors results, behavior,
mindset. And it's this idea that, you know, our results come from
behaviors, actions that we take, but then what influences our behaviors
(11:44):
and actions is our mindset. And, you know, and our mindset is
influenced by our beliefs, beliefs about self, others in the world around
around us and, you know, and how we're, we're, we're
created, you know, like our, our strengths, our personality, our
conditioning, all of those things. And, I started to unpack
that at a, at a deeper level when, you know, I was
(12:06):
just, I was like seeking God and saying like, okay, what are the,
what is underneath all of that? Like, let's dig and let's
dig to see like, what's the root cause of
this because our roots determine our fruits and, and, and it's, you
know, and it really does. It's a spiritual, you know, issue. It's an energetic
energy, pure energy, pure potential, issue.
(12:29):
And, and, and then you have like the world
that's focusing on behavior modification and
do more to get more. And so when you work with
these, when you work with these, you know, executives
and they come to you and they're like, I need to be more productive. I
need to, you know, achieve this next level or I need
(12:51):
to work on these relationships. And they're up here in the surface. How do you
I wanna make this practical. Right? So how do we how do you take
them where they need to go
to be able to have the conversations that are gonna create the true transformation?
Well, it's such a good question. I would say most people that I work with
(13:11):
are at this place of, they're almost in between 2
seasons of life. You know, they're usually when I they come to me, either
they're unfortunately going through some kind of life transition
where they've been in a marriage for a long time, and they're asking the question
like, what's going on? Do I still wanna be here? They've chased success
for a long time. They've raised the kids and they're kinda looking at each other
(13:33):
or in going, like, who are we? Do we even know each other? Right?
Sometimes it could be a business merger going on, but there's usually some kind
of shift, like getting ready to catapult into a you know, I've been in this
company for 30 years, and now I'm gonna go out and do this new thing.
Like, there's there the plates are shifting. Something's going on
either externally or something's going on inside that's like,
(13:54):
I'm itching for something new. I don't know what it is. Like, I'm just
restless. So usually, those something is is
clearly like red light or orange light, you know, like flashing.
And so, you know, it's an interesting question, and I
wanna go back to one of the things you said about getting to the root
of things because that's we talked about so much of traditional coaching,
(14:16):
and I've been through so many business coaching programs, executive coaching
programs, and some are great. There's so many great ones out there. You know, this
is not knocking. But a lot of them, especially secular programs,
really focus on just the mindset stuff or,
you know, the behavior modification. Like you said, just focus on the habits, stack
habits. You know, there's all these great books on habits, and they're amazing. Like, that's
(14:37):
good. Yes. I am. Yes. And and I say, like, if
you if you're always having to deal with behavior modification, that means
you've never gotten to the heart of the matter. Because once you deal with the
heart of the issue, the heart changes. Behavior
modification takes care of itself because you have different desires.
You're hungry for different things. You're not attracted to certain
(14:59):
things anymore because your heart like, something happened to your heart.
So the things you know that it says, guard your mind and your heart above
all else. Right. Out of your heart flow, the treasures of your life, you know?
And so it's like, or the issues of life where your heart is there, your
treasure will be also. So the thing is like getting raw and real
enough to get into someone's heart for a minute. Well, you know, depending on the
(15:21):
person, it takes a little bit of time. But I'll say this, to make it
practical, because we often go, okay. Something's not working. They're not happy
about something. Right? Yeah. And so the first thing is really
going, like, what do you want? What do you really desire? What do
you long for? What is it that you haven't really fully admitted to yourself that
you really and I will say, you probably hear this too, Nicole. Most people that
(15:43):
you ask that question to, they really can't answer it. What they do is they
tell you everything they don't want. Well, I don't want this, and I don't like
it when they do that, and my team is doing that, and I don't want
friction inside of my company, and I don't want a wife who isn't responsive. And
and it's like, okay. So what do you want? And it's like, you you have
to keep digging and digging and digging because a lack of clarity equals a lack
of results. Okay? So then once we figure out, well, what do I want?
(16:06):
And we really unpack it, not just at the surface level, but
really define it. The question is, what what is the
motive, the heart behind this? Yes. You you
know, because the motive of the heart determines
again, the sustainability of the blessing. Yes. The
motive of the heart determines whether it will be, you know, the blessed will
(16:28):
be your way and there'll be no sorrow to it, or you're going to be
climbing an uphill battle all the time. So when we look at the motives of
the heart and we go, okay, where's the gap? Then I started working with pattern
interruptions. So what are the familiar patterns that just keeps showing up over
and over again? Because really our life is a series of patterns. That's
really it. Like, it's a, it's a lot more than that. But when we look
(16:49):
at, we're not the creators of our reality, we're the creators of
our, our habits, basically, and our habits determine our reality, but our
habits are determined by our motives. And so when we
look at what patterns have I been getting, we can actually start to get to
the root of, like, well, what actually has been motivating us? Because we say
I'm motivated by having a great marriage and I really wanna serve my
(17:11):
team. But if the pattern keeps showing something different,
now comes the humble walk. Right? Like, oh, shoot. I've been
actually really self serving in this area. I've really been just
transactional in my relationships. So we can start to see the blind
spots and it's it's hard. You know, you're a coach. I'm a coach. It's
hard to read a label when you're inside the jar. You know, it's it's easier
(17:34):
when you have somebody else on the outside who's willing to be raw, real, and
vulnerable. You know, honest with you, that you have given permission to
call you up, to show you your blind spots. Because the reason they're
called blind spots is you can't see them. Yes. They're blind spots.
Right? And and if you're like, I could see my blind spots, then they're not
blind spots. I remember, I think it was Myron Gold. And I don't know
(17:55):
if you ever follow him, but I I like Myron. He's he's a great guy.
But I was at one of his events once, and he's like, you know, there's
3 levels. And maybe it was him or Benjamin Hardy. It doesn't matter. But
Ben Hardy, also a great guy. But the three levels of knowing, and
it's like, first of all, there's this stuff that you know.
Right? It's like, yeah. I know that. Yeah. I know that. I know I always
(18:17):
do that. I know that. Or you maybe you know some stuff. You know? Like,
then there's the stuff that you know that you don't know. Right? And so you're
like, man, I'm really lacking in the communication skills department. Like, I can really
use some help and how to understand what my woman or how to lead
better or whatever. Then there's the stuff that you don't know.
That you don't know. Yeah. And you're, you don't know
(18:38):
it. Like you don't know that you don't know it. So you can't possibly know.
You're like literally in the darkness. So I want to say,
I think that when you work with, with the right person or
you are spending time with the word of God or just have really wise
counsel, it becomes like this light that is able to illuminate
that third part. Yeah. The stuff that you don't know, that you don't know the
(19:01):
darkness, right? The stuff that's in the dark and when you shed light on it,
now you can go, okay, cool. Now I see that mess in the corner.
Now, what are we going to do with that? Right. Like what gets to stay?
What gets to go? Yeah. That is so good.
I love this because, when you dig deep and I know this like for
myself, so, back when I was, I think it was like
(19:23):
my late twenties, I had some health issues. There were business
issues. We had built a very successful family business that was in the process
of imploding. Here I am over here dealing with that, but I'm
also dealing with this health issue and it's like compounding. So
it's showing up. And so what do they tell you? You know, eat
this and don't eat this and do this. And I did all those
(19:45):
things. I was like, I'm a high achiever. Right. So, okay. Right out of the
gate, you want me to eliminate all these foods done? Okay. What else? What are
we doing? And I just, and I did all that. And then I
got to a certain point where it actually, it helped. Right.
But it didn't resolve the issue. And then it's like, okay, so
now maybe I'm thinking about this the wrong way and
(20:07):
my mindset, you know? So I start focusing on mindset and I started doing
that and then it's emotions. And then I realize I get to the point
where it's really a spiritual issue. It's identity. It's who I am. And you
said about motive. I love that you, you explained that because
you can say I wanna do this, but what is the motive behind it? So
(20:27):
often I find that even like high achievers, the reason why they're seeking to
be successful is because they're trying to prove themselves
to somebody who, you know, whether we know it or not. Whether they
know it or not, and somebody who may not even be alive anymore, but
you're still trying to prove yourself, trying to
outrun what I call that primary lie that we learned as a kid as I'm
(20:49):
not enough in some way. I'm not love it, you know, lovable.
I'm not desirable. I'm not chosen. I'm not I don't belong. I'm not smart
enough, fast enough, whatever it is. And it's like, I wanna outrun
that lie and I'm going to prove it. And then what does
life do? Life gives us the opportunity to
come face to face with it and go, oh, crap. Maybe I am
(21:12):
not enough, you know, it's like, and then what do you do with that? Yeah.
I love what one coach said. He says, you know, I'm everything that, I've you
know, I'm I'm I'm all of this and I'm none of that. You know? Like,
it's like, yes. And so if I look at myself,
honestly, I can say, okay. So I'm all of my
as what my husband said at one point, he said, I I got to the
(21:33):
point where I loved myself. I loved everything that I had, you know, everything that
was good about me and all the things that I have where I failed, the
shortcomings I've learned to love myself in all those areas.
Now we can build on that. Right? But if you don't see that, if you're
not willing to see that, see what's in the corner, as you said, that mess
in the corner, then you're constantly it's like shooting in the
(21:54):
dark. So, yeah, it's so, so important. Okay. As you were talking, you
know, a couple of things that came up, I love this because this whole
I am enough conversation, like, it drives you
crazy. Yeah. Because it's like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I've heard you say yes.
And a couple of times, and I say that often too. Yeah. But it's like,
you know, we have bought the lie also.
(22:16):
This whole, like, I am everything. I should have it all figured
out. I should have it all together. Like, I had it all Supposed to know.
Inside of me. Everything I need is inside of me now. And I'm like, that's
actually a lie if you don't have access to the holy spirit who is alive
in you. But if you don't have a connection, you you're missing. It's kinda like
the thing that you said with the health. You know, it's like we're almost there.
(22:37):
You know, you're like, it's like 98%, but the last click is
like the last turn of the key that unlocked the last bit of the save
that gives you, boom, direct access to the source of life. And that's what
so many of these things are. They're almost right, and that's what deception is,
by the way. Yes. It's, like, 99% truth, but it's that
one percent that changes everything. And so this idea of that,
(23:00):
you know, I'm supposed to figure it out. And I actually have a chapter in
the book or a part about identity. When you were talking about identity is
that I'm more than enough for the mission and the
calling and the purpose that God has for me and the exact place that I'm
supposed to be and the exact work that I'm supposed to do. And I'm also
not enough because he wants to partner with me so
(23:21):
that he can supernaturally augment and multiply everything. Right? So
I can do super abundantly more. And so it's yes to
both when if we're not enough in our humanness, but we're
more than enough when we come together in this like union
with this spirit. Now we've activated, you know, like the whole part
of us. Right. It's not just, we're trying to do this in our head with
(23:43):
our willpower, which we all know willpower. Man. Okay.
It's a muscle, but muscles get tired. Okay. Like
willpower runs out and strength, physical strength
runs out and you might have the heart for something, but people get discouraged.
And man, we are in a time right now where a lot of people are
getting discouraged. They're losing hope. You know, I know that by the time this
(24:04):
comes out, we'll know who the new president of our company is, but there's a
lot of political upheaval that's really gonna determine the future of
our nation. At the time that we're recording this, we just had a massive
storm, Helen in North Carolina that
literally wiped away entire towns. Like, the entire landscape
is being reorganized physically Yes. And spiritually.
(24:26):
Okay? Like, when I say and spiritually, these whole communities,
In fact, when I'm a a girlfriend, I came over to stay with me. She's
super successful business, owner, recently
sold her business, like, could doesn't have to work again if she doesn't want to,
but I had pursued all the things of the world, but always chronically stressed,
always chronically anxious, like unable to sleep, fixated on business,
(24:48):
fixated on money. She called me. And when we were talking, she said, Christine,
she lived in Asheville. She said, you know, all this stuff that I used to
have anxiety about and freak out about every day. She goes, I don't care
about any of that anymore. I realize how
ridiculous all of that stressing was.
Yeah. And I just, you know, in a way it's like you, it, the agitation
(25:10):
and the upheaval in the atmosphere sucks because your heart hurts
for what's going on. But at the same time, there's this beautiful cracking
open Yes. Of hearts and people remembering what matters most.
And she's one of those examples, you know. I don't even know how I got
there, but it was like this holy agitation that we're in.
Yes. You know, whether it's outside of you or inside of you, pay attention because
(25:33):
God's trying to do something in you. Yeah. That's so good. I
wanna come back to something you said there because, I think it
was so, poignant. You said that when we're
enough, like when we think I'm enough and I have all the things and I
think that's, that's the lie. Right? We have everything. That's the lie.
Because if yeah. On so many levels, but you know, like when you think about
(25:55):
it, it's like I'm human. Yeah. But also if I believe
if I believe and I subscribe to the fact that I'm enough
and I fall short in an area That's devastating.
Where does that leave me? Yeah. Devastating me. Either a, I'm
supposed to know. Right? And then there's shame and
(26:16):
then there's guilt. Right? And there's the condemnation
of, well, shoot. If I have everything inside me and
I still fall short, then there's something wrong with
me. Yeah. Or I haven't done something, and then it's you know? And
so I'm all for taking responsibility and all of that, but,
I love I used to say this when I was much younger
(26:39):
because I heard it, and it was God doesn't give you more than you can
handle. And somebody stopped me once as in
my twenties and I'll never forget. His name is Kelly and, Kelly
Wilson. And he said to me, he goes, that's not true. And I said,
what do you mean? And he said, if God only
gives you what you can handle, you don't
(27:00):
need him. And I was like, wow, that
is, that is so true. He gives us more than we can handle and then
says, come alongside. I'm going to partner with me
and I'm going to, that's like muscles. Right? We go into the gym. We, we
train so that we can, we, it we're in strength training
right now. Yeah. And the other piece that you, you mentioned there about your, your
(27:23):
friend is letting go of all those things. Like a few years ago, I
had lost everything. And I remember saying, God,
why did you take all this? Why did you allow this all to fall away?
Money, relationships, like everything. I literally was like, it's just you and me.
And I got not, you know, starting over. And he said, I will have no
other gods before me. And the other thing that in
(27:45):
that was that I got to
see that my identity was my
parents died very close together.
It wasn't in who I was in my family. It wasn't the family I was
part of. It wasn't the business because we had been business partners and all of
that and very close at a unique relationship. I
(28:08):
had gotten divorced. We've now gotten remarried, my ex
husband and I, which is so cool. But, like, all of that had happened and
I'm sitting here going, what just happened? Massive reorganization.
Right? Totally. Love that. And then we get to create pot and
right? And then there's that possibility. And then there's freedom. There's freedom in
realizing that none of the stuff that we have
(28:32):
we're gonna take with us. Yeah. None of the stuff matters. And then we went
into the pandemic, and everybody was freaking out over toilet paper and everything. And I
was sitting back, and I'm like, this is really fascinating
to watch from a study of human behavior, to observe
and watch what people's identity was in. Yeah. It was in
their their confidence in their job, confidence in their
(28:54):
business, the way things were, the routine of it.
Yeah. The illusion of safety. Right? The illusion of safety on
all these different levels, you know, and to see that. And so there's been there's
so much happening in the world right now spiritually. And,
it's it's exciting and it's scary. You gotta be
equipped. Now is the time to not have capacity. Now is the
(29:16):
time to be building mental, emotional, physical,
spiritual capacity, leadership abilities, I believe kingdom
style, you know? Yes. Yes. We're gonna be going through some times. I
love what you said though, and I love this conversation that we're having when you
were talking about when God stripped everything away and said, I will have no you'll
have no other gods before me. Because I think you and I must have gone
(29:36):
through something very similar at the same time,
around the same years because I went through a similar thing. And I love
your story of him bringing you and your husband back together, and it was a
complete restructuring and reorganization. And I just wanna do that shout out
for some people listening that might be going through that because this is the
disclaimer I don't always tell people when they work with me, but it's the truth.
(29:58):
If you're truly wanting a transformation,
you want a complete you want a up leveled reality. You want
more than you want it, like, the fullness of life, true fulfillment,
true freedom. Freedom means that nothing got a hold on you. You know?
So anything that you are consciously or unconsciously
worshiping. Right? Like, tied to, terrified. You're gonna need to
(30:20):
get tested on this stuff and the, you know, the plates are gonna shift. So
I see a lot of companies, leaders that say, okay, I'm
ready to go in. It's like, are you ready? Because this ain't for the week
this ain't for the faint of heart. You know, this is why many are called,
few are chosen. The ones who are chosen, many are
called. Few are chosen because the ones who are chosen are the
ones who present and say, okay, God, let's go. I'm at, you know, I'm gonna,
(30:43):
I'm gonna lean in and I'm gonna say yes. And so that's the
chosen is those who are willing to say yes to the restructuring
transformation of not only our outer world, but the way we think, what our heart
longs for, what gets us excited and out of bed in the morning, what
our body feels like.
(31:06):
And, again, whether the pandemic comes or the political
upheaval comes or storms come, we can be a
people that are, like Solid. Not shaken. You
know? And that's that's the thing is like
being, you know, the, the calm in the midst of the storm,
being the one who, you know, is who just like, I, I just, I was
(31:28):
like, wow, this is interesting. Yes. I grieve for those who
lost loved ones. Yes. All of that, you know? Yes. Of course. And my heart
went out to people because of where they were at in their experience,
but I was not shaking because I'd already gone through all of these things.
You mentioned about, you know, possibly when we're going through the
similar things. I know when we talk about the re you know, the
(31:52):
restructuring of your life and all of that. And now you
and your husband work together. You just
ventured out and you're actually merging your businesses. Talk
a little bit about that restructure. And yeah.
It's such a beautiful gift. You guys, I just wanna tell you that, you know,
anybody listening, and I know you maybe felt like you went through a season where
(32:14):
I certainly went through a season where I was like, man, I got divorced
when my kids, you know, were 3, 5, and 7. I got married when I
was 21 the first time around. By the time I was 31, we'd already built
a business, built a glass castle on sand, had 3 kids, and the
divorce was in full swing. And then I went through a decade of pretty much
feeling like I just missed out on and, like, lost everything that I'd
(32:35):
worked so hard for. And I just wanna say, like, God loves to write redemption
stories. You know? He loves to write stories of, you know, everything you thought you
lost, watch out. Cause I'm about to hit hand it back over. My game is
multiplication, not addition. You know what I mean? And so after you
go through this work, I just knew that I knew in my heart,
we are designed. We are created to have thriving, amazing marriage is
(32:57):
the foundation for what I believe will God multiplies us through,
you know, our first, our relationship with him. But I believe
that lie of everything I need is inside me. I don't need no man. I
don't need no God. I can do everything myself. So in my previous marriage, like
I do me, you do you, you know, like I'll have my business, you do
your thing. And even though we did things together, there was still this like gap,
(33:18):
you know? But with mark and I, who is my husband now, I
just really said, God, I'm gonna do this your way. Cause I tried to do
it my way for decades. Okay. And I just kept repeating the same
patterns of disconnected relationships, feeling unsupported in my
business, feeling like my business was in competition with their business, and I
would, like, you know, just it was, like, this friction. Mhmm. And and Mark and
(33:39):
I said, you know what? We're gonna do this different. We're gonna do this
by design, by heavenly design. And so as we
started aligning our marriage and our business to the things that are, you
know, biblical principles, I say eternal principles. You don't even have to believe the
Bible. You don't even have to believe in God. These are eternal principles. They just
work. You they just work. It's in the fabric of how the universe is
(34:01):
created and designed. Right? The bonus is if you do believe in
God, you get this epic relationship, which is amazing.
But as we started coming together and we started emerging
finances, which before, even my previous marriage, I'm like, I got my bank account. You
got yours. Like, you spend your money how you want. You and I see this.
So so many people that I've coached, still separate accounts, still separate everything. That's fine
(34:24):
if that's what you do. But we said, we are 1. So we
started doing this thing, and and, of course, then we've just felt the nudge
that it's time to merge our businesses. So we merged my executive coaching business
and his corporate training and speaking business, which are
really synergistic, obviously. But when we came together and said,
you know, we're gonna come under a bigger mission. You know what happened? Like, our
(34:46):
vision, our mission, like, it amplified
so much. Like, before, it was like we could see. It was like this myopic
kind of vision. You know? It was like more small. And we we thought it
was big. But when we came together, the vision, like, blew
up. The the opportunities that started coming to us.
Like, you know, even something like as simple as the proposals
(35:07):
we were putting out were 3 times the average of what we were
doing before. It was like everything began to multiply. Our
team began to multiply. Our finances began to multiply.
Now I do believe that that is a principle of
submission to something greater. And I'm not
gonna say it was all rainbows and sunshines and unicorns because it was
(35:30):
very humbling actually for both of us because he had
systems and processes the way he ran his business, and he did finances
his way, and he did team building his way, and I did things my way.
And when you all of a sudden go, alright, lift up the hood, baby,
of both cars. You know? We're building a new car now, and we're
just looking at each other. And there was, like, there was some
(35:52):
conflict healthy conflict that needed to happen.
And I think sometimes we're so afraid of conflict, so we don't wanna talk about
money. We don't wanna talk about sex. We don't wanna merge our businesses. You know?
It's just like, but conflict done right multiplies
us and forces us to innovate. And that's exactly what happened with us. We had
to innovate. We had to a press in and go, god, man, if
(36:13):
our finances are upside down, inside out, or anything's
not in integrity or aligned, shed a big old light on it. And I'm gonna
tell you again, it takes courage because the minute we did that, it was like
whack a mole. Boom. You're sloppy with this. Boom. Look at this. Look at this.
Like and we had to restructure our finances and how we manage money and how
we allowed money to flow. Then we said the same thing with leadership, then we
(36:35):
did the same thing with processes. But what we did is we it's like we
innovated all new ways of doing these
things, and we gotta, I would say everything, you know, there's always
more that we don't know. Right? I'm sure there's gonna be more. But
we as we align, ourselves, our
team also to those biblical principles, man, I'm telling you, it's
(36:57):
just like the door's open. Multiplication, like
you said, 30, 60, 100 fold. Yeah. In our so our our
theme of our business, like our tagline is unification. We're the
momentum company. Unification leads to multiplication. And
unification of your team, unification inside of your marriages,
uni unification inside your communities as a team culture.
(37:20):
Unification leads to multiplication. And I I just wanna say this last
thing. This is why our country is on the hot mess that it's in
right now, because we have allowed, we have entertained
divisive Yes. Divisiveness to come in like
a toxic infiltration. And we start spreading gossip and
we start doing this and we start pitting us against each other. And it's,
(37:43):
it's like you allow poison inside of your house and everybody's sipping it. And all
of a sudden it changes your vision. It changes what you look at, you
know? And so we gotta get back to, Unification
under the things that matter most That bigger than my opinions versus your
opinions, or I don't like your personality. Yes. You know what I'm
saying? Yeah. This is more than personality. It's more than personality
(38:05):
and opinions. Yeah. Yeah. They're always gonna be difficult
people. There is. There is. Yeah. And it's getting past that. And
that's but that's part of the, like you said, the counterfeit, right, is the
deception is that that that's the thing that's most important. When
it's like over here, this is what's most important, but everybody's distracted
and looking over here Yeah. To do that. And, and
(38:27):
kudos yeah. And kudos to you. Yeah. Oh my gosh. We could go.
That's a whole podcast. Multiple series. Multiple
podcasts. Talking about that. I love and
kudos to you and your husband for having the courage
to to shine light in those areas. Because a lot of
times I recently just had somebody on on this show
(38:48):
as as well, Robert and Kaylee, Fukui.
And, they wrote a book called Tandem and
marriage, entrepreneurship, working together. And it
takes courage because you think, okay, so now I've got this
relationship and it's going so well. I don't want to mess it up. Yeah.
I hear that all the time. And, and so it's like, yeah,
(39:10):
but you know, if you try to hold onto your life, you
lose it. And you know, when you give it over, then you
gain it. And so if you're holding on to anything, and we talked about
that a few moments ago about that idol, anything
in my experience, anything that we hold too
tightly is is,
(39:33):
subject, right, to destruction, is subject to
be you know, it's like and I can just speak for
myself is that it's and it's also been my prayer. Right. I, I prayed.
I'm like, God, I don't want, I want to have a relationship with you. I
want to have that intimacy with you. I don't want to have anything before you.
And he's like, are you sure about that? Because there's some things
you've had before me and we're, and we got to address those things.
(39:56):
And so, you know, it's it's holding that it's holding that
loosely and trusting. I think there's also maybe as we,
I know we're getting close to wrapping up here. Talk about that
trust. Yeah. How do you how do you trust
Because I think this is a, an issue, right, for a lot
of us is that trust has been broken. Yeah. And
(40:19):
even our perceived trust in God to say, God,
I trusted you. I counted on you, and it didn't work out the way I
wanted it to. And so maybe even our trust with God and
then of course, trust with others and saying, okay, I'm gonna step
out. We're gonna do this and it's gonna be and we're gonna
trust that it's going to be amazing.
(40:41):
How did, how, what would you say to, to that issue
of trust? How do you develop that? That's such a good question.
Such a good question. And I would say that it is
probably the number one issue that we deal with inside
of certainly, I I believe the hearts of leaders, especially
at the top that have had extreme betrayal from people very close inside
(41:03):
their organization. I see this a lot, but also to be quite honest
affairs and everything else inside of marriages. And so
rebuilding of this trust and, you know, how do I rebuild trust and how do
I regain respect with myself, with my teams, or how do
I trust God? Right? Sometimes we feel like my trust in him has been broken.
And I wanna say a couple things about this. And I know I've referenced the
(41:26):
book a couple times because Drop the Armor is the book I put
out in in June, and I have an entire chapter on cultivating
trust, and discernment and cultivating your,
your, your gift and muscle of discernment.
But I, I would say this, you know, a couple of things.
Number 1, as it pertains to ourselves, you know,
(41:49):
the number one thing I see when confidence starts to fall through the
floor, confidence with others, confidence with ourselves
is that we have gotten to become a people. We have become a people
that are very comfortable breaking promises to ourselves. So
good. And every time you break a promise, it could be something as simple
as, you know what? Today, I'm not gonna drink, or tomorrow, I'm gonna hit the
(42:10):
gym. I'm gonna start I'm gonna start praying tomorrow. I'm gonna take my wife out
for a day. I'm gonna do it and we say something. We make a
commitment. We verbalize. We make an agreement, and then we break an
agreement. Every time we do that, what we do is we just broke
trust. It's like you did a little tiny break. Right? And every time you break
trust, you break confidence. And every time you do that,
(42:32):
your confidence starts to your level of certainty, your level of
security knowing that it's solid. You start to
question your own character, actually. You start to question
everything around you, and then the seeds of doubt start creeping in. And so now
doubt, you actually what, whether you're aware of it or not, you
kinda know you're full of BS. You're not gonna follow through. You
(42:53):
now you start to develop this identity of someone who says things but doesn't
really follow through. And so it's become this cycle. Right? So how we
build trust is number 1. We start keeping the
promises. We make a decision effective immediately. I
am a woman or a man who keeps her promises to herself
and to others. And I will show up, and I will lead with trust because
(43:16):
I'm choosing It's a decision every day to wake up
and be trustworthy today. So when I speak
agreements, I'm gonna follow through on it. And, also, this is how we rebuild trust
and relationships. I say, let's ditch these expectations we have of each other.
We need to have clear agreements. So that now, Nicole,
you and I are agreeing on something. We're gonna hold each other accountable to
(43:38):
this agreement. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt that you're gonna
fulfill your agreement. Now if you keep breaking the agreement,
now, you know, you are no longer trustworthy. So we have a character issue,
and now it's not about that. Right? It's like the behavior
shows the character reveals the character. They're not the same thing. So that's
number 1, I would say personally in, like, as a
(44:00):
in an individual level. And this also works with teams or marriages is the
number one thing that I see when people have broken trust this
way is that they have a lot of unspoken
expectations and not a lot of clear
agreements and standards. Both they do make agreements, they've gotten sloppy
with their words. They say one thing, and now they're training everyone
(44:22):
in their environment to either be the one who says things and doesn't follow
through. And we say that that's okay. What we tolerate, we perpetuate. Right? Yeah.
So and I wanna say this about trusting God.
There's there's faith and then there's trust. Faith is
the belief and the hope and the security and the
confidence in the unseen. So I actually haven't seen it
(44:45):
with my physical eyes. I have no proof. I have no evidence.
I just believe it's a choice. Faith is like a spiritual gift
to believe and have confidence in the unseen. Trust
comes, I believe with God, and so has been my experience, on the other
side of obedience. So as I move in faith,
God shows up, and he's like, boom, there I am. You see, I told you
(45:07):
to move. You you moved in faith, and so I'm here.
And so he shows me his character. He does follow through. He meets me on
the other side. He says, open the door. He's waiting for me on the other
side. We want to see without moving in faith.
But what happens is when we move in faith, now all of a sudden my
trust muscle got stronger because I'm like, oh, dang. I know his character. He
(45:28):
shows up when I move in faith. And then I get to
trust his character more and more because I've seen
his character. I've he's followed through. I know
he's he fulfills his word, but I was talking to an executive
client of mine not too long ago who's who's
having the same issue. He says, I just don't I'm having trouble trusting. I said,
(45:50):
when was the last time you moved him? Obedience.
That's so good. If you're having trouble in trusting the
Lord, I would challenge you. When was the last time you
actually moved in faith into the unseen as an
act of obedience? And then allowed God to meet you
on the other side. Cause it ain't faith. If you can see it.
(46:13):
Oh, Christine. So good. Oh my
gosh. That is so good. That's what I have to say about that.
Yeah. Thank you. I love that. I love that. And when
you talk about this, the the
confidence and the agreements that you make to yourself, it's
like the integrity. When you break integrity with yourself, when you don't
(46:35):
trust others, look to see where
you don't trust yourself. Because you don't trust yourself. Yeah.
Oh, man. That's so good. We could talk for hours, but we're gonna we're gonna
wrap up. We'll probably have further conversations and
Yeah. Bring you back at some point. How do people find out,
all the things that you've got going on? Where do they go? Yeah. Well, the
(46:57):
easiest place to connect with me is on my website, the christinejeweldot
com. You can link to my podcast, Breaking Chains. I'm on all major
platforms, iTunes, Spotify, YouTube.
You can get my book there. The book is called Drop the Armor. It's also
available on, Amazon and all the major book platforms.
But if you buy direct from from us, you'll also get a $200 bundle
(47:21):
bonus bundle with that. It's like a PDF journal that takes
you through the exercises in the book. There's a playlist. I got my kingdom
warrior playlist. I've got a free training on overcoming,
the battles that we're facing in times of chaos and confusion, upgraded battle
strategies. So it is essential for the times that we're in. So
these are some of the bonuses you get when you buy the book direct from
(47:43):
from my website. Yeah. So go to the christinejewel.com
and connect with me there. Beautiful. Christine, thank you
so much. This has been such a pleasure. And,
I always say that leaders of transformation take action.
So not to contradict what we just said. Sometimes that action is
(48:03):
stepping back and looking inward at yourself.
Sometimes that action is stepping out of the boat
in faith and trusting and, and
allowing God to show himself trustworthy, whatever that
action is for you, whatever you feel prompted to, I encourage you to take
action on something because without action, nothing
(48:26):
happens. Okay. We can listen to podcasts all day. We can
read books all day. Shoot. We could read the bible all day
as well. But until we start applying it into our lives,
into our own situations, nothing happens. And so I
encourage you to go do that, take action on something. We'd love to hear
how you're taking action, how this has impacted you. You can go on leaders of
(48:48):
transformation.com. Reach out to us there, of course, on all social.
And we'd love to hear how this has, impacted you and and specifically
what you're taking action on. And anything we can do to support you, of course,
along the way, you let us know. Definitely go to the christinejewel.com,
2 l's. We'll make sure that is in the show notes as well. Get
(49:09):
her book, get all the free training that's available there. Awesomeness.
You can tell Christine just exudes this.
And, and it's exciting even just to see the journey that she's having with her
husband and how they're emerging their businesses. So if you're looking for
for what they've got there, go check that out. And,
yeah. Thanks for being here today and we hope this has blessed you. And we
(49:32):
look forward to seeing you next week on another episode of the Leaders of Transformation.
How do you break away from the concept of superficial
success and really experience greater fulfillment in your life, in
your marriage, in your business? Our guest today is Christine
Jewell. She is an ultra high achiever, an elite athlete,
mother of 6, a keynote speaker, and a
faith based executive coach with over 25 years of experience
(00:25):
in the areas of health and peak performance,
entrepreneurship, and human behavior, all these
topics that I just love talking about. And she is the host
of the Breaking Chains podcast and the author of the new
book, Drop the Armor. So I'm really excited to have her here, Christine. Welcome to
the leaders transformation. Thank you for having me. I'm excited about this
(00:47):
conversation. Yes. Yes. And, so let's actually
just dive in this topic of transformation. You and I were talking
even beforehand, and we resonate so much in
this this need for transformation in the world and in
business and the way that we see ourselves, way that we see others. So
where did this start for you and why is it so near and dear to
(01:10):
your heart? Well,
where did it start for me? I honestly do believe that.
You know, we all have a calling. We all have a mission on this planet
and we are all here to obviously be lighthouses, bring more life to
the world, love one another, and to help elevate the
level of consciousness, the level of faith, the love bring the gifts of the
(01:31):
spirit to to earth. But also and I also believe that in that
unique calling, some of us just you know, we're gifted with different
things, different gifts. We're equipped with some some of them. We're bestowed with some of
them by God's grace. Thank you, Lord. And so I think that this gift of
this desire for change, for evolution, this sort
of insatiable appetite and restlessness within myself,
(01:54):
It's been there from the beginning. You know, it's in my DNA. It's in my
encoding. It's in my soul. It's in my spirit. It's in my bones.
And, if you, if you're listening and you know what I'm talking about, you
just know, right? It's not like something had to happen to
you to have this itch inside of your soul, but you're just like, man,
like, what else is out there? What else is possible? Like, there must be
(02:15):
something else. You have this deep stirring desire to, you know,
discover the mysteries of the world, the mysteries of the depth of meaning of
things. And so I just wanted to say that some some of us,
I I think a lot of entrepreneurs can relate to this. This is why you're
an entrepreneur. Right? You have a desire to see change in the world. You wanna
be an agent of change. So I always say, like, from a young age, I
(02:36):
was kind of a warrior spirit. Right? I was always looking for a battle to
climb, an obstacle to get it over. And and, I loved fighting
battles, and I was trained to fight battles my whole life. You know, in my
book, Drop the Armor, I talk about growing up with a father who my dad
worked for the CIA for years. He was recruited. He was kind
of a lone wolf mentality. That's kinda how they pull you into that. You know,
(02:57):
it was in the navy, then in the CIA. And, and just had a lone
wolf mentality, ultra high achiever himself. That's where I got it from.
Right? But also fighting battles his whole life with with alcoholism,
with addiction, with, you know, approval addiction of man,
alcohol addiction, sex addiction, different things. And so I just
saw my dad sort of fighting these battles his whole life. And it was
(03:20):
just this like weird reality of this worldly
success and glamour and traveling and all these things with this
extreme loneliness, extreme depression, and massive highs,
massive lows. And so what do you do? You're like, oh my gosh. I either
have to save my parent, save my dad from the
pit of despair that he's in or the sickness that he's getting, or I
(03:41):
never wanna be like my dad. So there's this, like, dual thing going
on inside of you. That's like, on one hand, you're like, I gotta save
them. And so you do everything and you perform and you try to get the
grades and you try to do the things at school and you try to fight
for, you know, the causes to get the attention. And then on the other side,
you're trying to run away from something you don't wanna ever, ever, ever
(04:01):
emulate. And often when we run away from our pain, we end up,
you know, just regurgitating the patterns, the cycles, the
wounding of the generation before us. Right? Like unhealed wounds, they
get passed on. And so I I share this because
it's I really do believe in this is also why my my podcast
is called breaking changes that, you know, we there's one that we
(04:24):
are chosen to break the generational patterns, the generational curses
for our families. And, you know, and I'm that one to break
certain generational patterns in my family. We all are chosen to
break them, you know, at some level, but that's really what the word transformation
is to move beyond the current reality, to
move beyond the current shape. You literally are changing
(04:47):
form. So you're changing the form of the shape of your
thoughts, the shape of your reality, what relationships look like, what
success looks like. And so began this quest,
very early on because of this motivation around my dad.
And then for years, I thought I was gonna create this
successful life and not be anything like him. But I quickly
(05:09):
realized, man, I thought I was doing something different, but really so
much of the fuel was the same. And so it it
led me through my own season of lot of DPOA, a lot
of internal growth, but always have been evolving
and growing, you know, and and really into this work. And so,
for years, I went into the athletic field.
(05:32):
I was a very high level athlete, world class triathlete and
stuff like that. So that was my avenue for a while. And I taught health
transformations to people and it was amazing, but I've always just been really fascinated
with like, wow, what can the body do? What can the mind do? What can
the spirit do? Like we can really renew and reinvent
ourselves. And we're the only species. We're the only,
(05:54):
you know, we're the only ones with the level of consciousness that God
has gifted to have the awareness that we can change and we're able to
change. So I wanna close the loop on that story is that, you know, today
I actually went to go see my dad this weekend in Florida and
we have done a nice full circle of healing. Right? And that those
generational patterns have been broken, but I'm 48. You
(06:16):
know, it's been decades of of work and of healing for
me, for my children, for my father, for our family.
And, we need to honor the timing and seasons of
things as we go through these transformations, and they never end.
Yeah. Right? We're always evolving. We're always growing. We're always remembering
more of who we are. And I believe we're always, hopefully if we are faith
(06:39):
based, maybe becoming more and more Christ like. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, and it is a journey. Like, I think that just even in
saying that, you know, sometimes we think we need to arrive, especially high achievers. It's
like, I'm going for the destination. I'm gonna get there. And then I'm gonna be
like, whew. I got it. And I don't know how many times I have
said I can think of 3 specific times in my life, but I'm sure I've
(07:01):
said it many more times than that is, you know, I got this. And God's
like, girl, let me tell you. You got, you know,
you you don't got it. Okay? Yeah. You got a lot of pride. You got
a lot of pride is what you got. And so pride
before the fall, and you realize how much more
growing that you have to do and we're or that we better yet
(07:23):
get to do to become the best version of ourselves. And so now
you coach and talk a little bit about who you coach and
what are the areas that you really focus on. Yeah. So I just mentioned
that I went into sports and athletics for many years. I was a high level
athlete. I played multiple sports. And so in Toronto, I had started a
bricks and mortar facility in Toronto, just outside of Toronto, Canada. My
(07:45):
hometown. Is it? Yes. I think we shared that. Yeah. Gosh.
And now we're in the US and totally different side of this other country. But
so just outside of Canada, and, you know, those those are my years training
athletes, training executives too, just on mostly fitness,
mindset, nutrition, like racing. Everything was about
winning. Everything was about winning. More medals, less weight, go
(08:07):
faster, compete, compete, compete. But what happened
was after about 10 years of doing that, you know, you just kinda like hit
this point where you're like, man, one more medal, one more race,
one more notch on the belt, one more thing of success. I built a
successful business, but as I started coaching less athletes and more executives,
I started to see the same patterns, which was this, like,
(08:29):
insatiable. It's like a carrot that's hanging on a stick. Right? And we're always just
chasing this carrot that never takes us anywhere
fulfilling. I remember standing on so many podiums, literally, first
place, first place, first place thinking, like, the
high lasted, like, a minute. You know? And then I was already analyzing
everything I did wrong in the race or if I was gonna get the next
(08:49):
one or who the competition was gonna be or if I got 2nd place. 1st
play second place is 1st loser. That used to be my motto. You know? Yeah.
But after all the athletes, then I started coaching more and more executives who actually
started coming into my facility with a bunch of issues,
waking, chronic pain, stress, you know, all kinds
of issues. And as I started to do, like, nutrition and mindset and
(09:11):
all the traditional stuff, I was like, man, so many of these issues
are mental, emotional, or spiritual roots.
Autoimmune diseases, again, chronic fatigue, chronic pain,
burnout. And so God just led me, you know,
I ended up here because I started to see all these people and I'm like,
they really need to work on their marriage. This is a heart issue. This
(09:33):
isn't a food issue. Like I could change your diet all day long. We can
give you the workout plan and that's important, but we need to get to the
root and not just continue to work at the surface level. So
over the years that evolved that I started to work with more and more executives,
and my heart was just really burning for entrepreneurs and executives
because I did see my dad climb, climb, climb, climb,
(09:53):
climb the corporate ladder, the success ladder after you know, and
then crash and burn. And literally, like, lose his family, lose his
home, lose all the wealth that he had built, you know, lose his dignity in
many ways. And really experience is 3, 4 decades of just
distance from everyone that all his children, all his family.
And so I just such a burning desire to like, kind of go
(10:15):
stop, you know, before you burn everything down. And so I just,
I wanted to say that because God brought me into this place where it's just
the evolution again of the business. Right? The transformation of the business is now
we're going to do this work. And it's actually a beautiful thing because
the way that I do executive coaching today allows me to deal with the
matters of the heart, deal with human behavior and psychology and all the
(10:37):
mindset principles and the business stuff. I've been
in businesses, creating businesses for myself since I was 21. But now I have
this like almost 2 decades of holistic health and performance
of how the body works. Right. And how the body keeps the score. And it's
so great because what do most people say? My energy sucks.
My men, my mind is foggy and it's not just mindset work. You
(11:00):
know, there are things you need to look at. More
holistically, like how you're moving, how, what you're eating,
what, what the body's telling you. And then you can stack, you know,
the mindset work, the heart work, the spiritual work and the physical
work. And I think that's what allows us to have this holistic
approach to, to the human instead of just this person's
(11:22):
doing this and this other person's doing this one thing. And, you know,
Yeah. Well, I think as as high achievers, we are
taught that it's about doing. And I think about the this model that I
use in my coaching, which I learned from one of my mentors results, behavior,
mindset. And it's this idea that, you know, our results come from
behaviors, actions that we take, but then what influences our behaviors
(11:44):
and actions is our mindset. And, you know, and our mindset is
influenced by our beliefs, beliefs about self, others in the world around
around us and, you know, and how we're, we're, we're
created, you know, like our, our strengths, our personality, our
conditioning, all of those things. And, I started to unpack
that at a, at a deeper level when, you know, I was
(12:06):
just, I was like seeking God and saying like, okay, what are the,
what is underneath all of that? Like, let's dig and let's
dig to see like, what's the root cause of
this because our roots determine our fruits and, and, and it's, you
know, and it really does. It's a spiritual, you know, issue. It's an energetic
energy, pure energy, pure potential, issue.
(12:29):
And, and, and then you have like the world
that's focusing on behavior modification and
do more to get more. And so when you work with
these, when you work with these, you know, executives
and they come to you and they're like, I need to be more productive. I
need to, you know, achieve this next level or I need
(12:51):
to work on these relationships. And they're up here in the surface. How do you
I wanna make this practical. Right? So how do we how do you take
them where they need to go
to be able to have the conversations that are gonna create the true transformation?
Well, it's such a good question. I would say most people that I work with
(13:11):
are at this place of, they're almost in between 2
seasons of life. You know, they're usually when I they come to me, either
they're unfortunately going through some kind of life transition
where they've been in a marriage for a long time, and they're asking the question
like, what's going on? Do I still wanna be here? They've chased success
for a long time. They've raised the kids and they're kinda looking at each other
(13:33):
or in going, like, who are we? Do we even know each other? Right?
Sometimes it could be a business merger going on, but there's usually some kind
of shift, like getting ready to catapult into a you know, I've been in this
company for 30 years, and now I'm gonna go out and do this new thing.
Like, there's there the plates are shifting. Something's going on
either externally or something's going on inside that's like,
(13:54):
I'm itching for something new. I don't know what it is. Like, I'm just
restless. So usually, those something is is
clearly like red light or orange light, you know, like flashing.
And so, you know, it's an interesting question, and I
wanna go back to one of the things you said about getting to the root
of things because that's we talked about so much of traditional coaching,
(14:16):
and I've been through so many business coaching programs, executive coaching
programs, and some are great. There's so many great ones out there. You know, this
is not knocking. But a lot of them, especially secular programs,
really focus on just the mindset stuff or,
you know, the behavior modification. Like you said, just focus on the habits, stack
habits. You know, there's all these great books on habits, and they're amazing. Like, that's
(14:37):
good. Yes. I am. Yes. And and I say, like, if
you if you're always having to deal with behavior modification, that means
you've never gotten to the heart of the matter. Because once you deal with the
heart of the issue, the heart changes. Behavior
modification takes care of itself because you have different desires.
You're hungry for different things. You're not attracted to certain
(14:59):
things anymore because your heart like, something happened to your heart.
So the things you know that it says, guard your mind and your heart above
all else. Right. Out of your heart flow, the treasures of your life, you know?
And so it's like, or the issues of life where your heart is there, your
treasure will be also. So the thing is like getting raw and real
enough to get into someone's heart for a minute. Well, you know, depending on the
(15:21):
person, it takes a little bit of time. But I'll say this, to make it
practical, because we often go, okay. Something's not working. They're not happy
about something. Right? Yeah. And so the first thing is really
going, like, what do you want? What do you really desire? What do
you long for? What is it that you haven't really fully admitted to yourself that
you really and I will say, you probably hear this too, Nicole. Most people that
(15:43):
you ask that question to, they really can't answer it. What they do is they
tell you everything they don't want. Well, I don't want this, and I don't like
it when they do that, and my team is doing that, and I don't want
friction inside of my company, and I don't want a wife who isn't responsive. And
and it's like, okay. So what do you want? And it's like, you you have
to keep digging and digging and digging because a lack of clarity equals a lack
of results. Okay? So then once we figure out, well, what do I want?
(16:06):
And we really unpack it, not just at the surface level, but
really define it. The question is, what what is the
motive, the heart behind this? Yes. You you
know, because the motive of the heart determines
again, the sustainability of the blessing. Yes. The
motive of the heart determines whether it will be, you know, the blessed will
(16:28):
be your way and there'll be no sorrow to it, or you're going to be
climbing an uphill battle all the time. So when we look at the motives of
the heart and we go, okay, where's the gap? Then I started working with pattern
interruptions. So what are the familiar patterns that just keeps showing up over
and over again? Because really our life is a series of patterns. That's
really it. Like, it's a, it's a lot more than that. But when we look
(16:49):
at, we're not the creators of our reality, we're the creators of
our, our habits, basically, and our habits determine our reality, but our
habits are determined by our motives. And so when we
look at what patterns have I been getting, we can actually start to get to
the root of, like, well, what actually has been motivating us? Because we say
I'm motivated by having a great marriage and I really wanna serve my
(17:11):
team. But if the pattern keeps showing something different,
now comes the humble walk. Right? Like, oh, shoot. I've been
actually really self serving in this area. I've really been just
transactional in my relationships. So we can start to see the blind
spots and it's it's hard. You know, you're a coach. I'm a coach. It's
hard to read a label when you're inside the jar. You know, it's it's easier
(17:34):
when you have somebody else on the outside who's willing to be raw, real, and
vulnerable. You know, honest with you, that you have given permission to
call you up, to show you your blind spots. Because the reason they're
called blind spots is you can't see them. Yes. They're blind spots.
Right? And and if you're like, I could see my blind spots, then they're not
blind spots. I remember, I think it was Myron Gold. And I don't know
(17:55):
if you ever follow him, but I I like Myron. He's he's a great guy.
But I was at one of his events once, and he's like, you know, there's
3 levels. And maybe it was him or Benjamin Hardy. It doesn't matter. But
Ben Hardy, also a great guy. But the three levels of knowing, and
it's like, first of all, there's this stuff that you know.
Right? It's like, yeah. I know that. Yeah. I know that. I know I always
(18:17):
do that. I know that. Or you maybe you know some stuff. You know? Like,
then there's the stuff that you know that you don't know. Right? And so you're
like, man, I'm really lacking in the communication skills department. Like, I can really
use some help and how to understand what my woman or how to lead
better or whatever. Then there's the stuff that you don't know.
That you don't know. Yeah. And you're, you don't know
(18:38):
it. Like you don't know that you don't know it. So you can't possibly know.
You're like literally in the darkness. So I want to say,
I think that when you work with, with the right person or
you are spending time with the word of God or just have really wise
counsel, it becomes like this light that is able to illuminate
that third part. Yeah. The stuff that you don't know, that you don't know the
(19:01):
darkness, right? The stuff that's in the dark and when you shed light on it,
now you can go, okay, cool. Now I see that mess in the corner.
Now, what are we going to do with that? Right. Like what gets to stay?
What gets to go? Yeah. That is so good.
I love this because, when you dig deep and I know this like for
myself, so, back when I was, I think it was like
(19:23):
my late twenties, I had some health issues. There were business
issues. We had built a very successful family business that was in the process
of imploding. Here I am over here dealing with that, but I'm
also dealing with this health issue and it's like compounding. So
it's showing up. And so what do they tell you? You know, eat
this and don't eat this and do this. And I did all those
(19:45):
things. I was like, I'm a high achiever. Right. So, okay. Right out of the
gate, you want me to eliminate all these foods done? Okay. What else? What are
we doing? And I just, and I did all that. And then I
got to a certain point where it actually, it helped. Right.
But it didn't resolve the issue. And then it's like, okay, so
now maybe I'm thinking about this the wrong way and
(20:07):
my mindset, you know? So I start focusing on mindset and I started doing
that and then it's emotions. And then I realize I get to the point
where it's really a spiritual issue. It's identity. It's who I am. And you
said about motive. I love that you, you explained that because
you can say I wanna do this, but what is the motive behind it? So
(20:27):
often I find that even like high achievers, the reason why they're seeking to
be successful is because they're trying to prove themselves
to somebody who, you know, whether we know it or not. Whether they
know it or not, and somebody who may not even be alive anymore, but
you're still trying to prove yourself, trying to
outrun what I call that primary lie that we learned as a kid as I'm
(20:49):
not enough in some way. I'm not love it, you know, lovable.
I'm not desirable. I'm not chosen. I'm not I don't belong. I'm not smart
enough, fast enough, whatever it is. And it's like, I wanna outrun
that lie and I'm going to prove it. And then what does
life do? Life gives us the opportunity to
come face to face with it and go, oh, crap. Maybe I am
(21:12):
not enough, you know, it's like, and then what do you do with that? Yeah.
I love what one coach said. He says, you know, I'm everything that, I've you
know, I'm I'm I'm all of this and I'm none of that. You know? Like,
it's like, yes. And so if I look at myself,
honestly, I can say, okay. So I'm all of my
as what my husband said at one point, he said, I I got to the
(21:33):
point where I loved myself. I loved everything that I had, you know, everything that
was good about me and all the things that I have where I failed, the
shortcomings I've learned to love myself in all those areas.
Now we can build on that. Right? But if you don't see that, if you're
not willing to see that, see what's in the corner, as you said, that mess
in the corner, then you're constantly it's like shooting in the
(21:54):
dark. So, yeah, it's so, so important. Okay. As you were talking, you
know, a couple of things that came up, I love this because this whole
I am enough conversation, like, it drives you
crazy. Yeah. Because it's like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I've heard you say yes.
And a couple of times, and I say that often too. Yeah. But it's like,
you know, we have bought the lie also.
(22:16):
This whole, like, I am everything. I should have it all figured
out. I should have it all together. Like, I had it all Supposed to know.
Inside of me. Everything I need is inside of me now. And I'm like, that's
actually a lie if you don't have access to the holy spirit who is alive
in you. But if you don't have a connection, you you're missing. It's kinda like
the thing that you said with the health. You know, it's like we're almost there.
(22:37):
You know, you're like, it's like 98%, but the last click is
like the last turn of the key that unlocked the last bit of the save
that gives you, boom, direct access to the source of life. And that's what
so many of these things are. They're almost right, and that's what deception is,
by the way. Yes. It's, like, 99% truth, but it's that
one percent that changes everything. And so this idea of that,
(23:00):
you know, I'm supposed to figure it out. And I actually have a chapter in
the book or a part about identity. When you were talking about identity is
that I'm more than enough for the mission and the
calling and the purpose that God has for me and the exact place that I'm
supposed to be and the exact work that I'm supposed to do. And I'm also
not enough because he wants to partner with me so
(23:21):
that he can supernaturally augment and multiply everything. Right? So
I can do super abundantly more. And so it's yes to
both when if we're not enough in our humanness, but we're
more than enough when we come together in this like union
with this spirit. Now we've activated, you know, like the whole part
of us. Right. It's not just, we're trying to do this in our head with
(23:43):
our willpower, which we all know willpower. Man. Okay.
It's a muscle, but muscles get tired. Okay. Like
willpower runs out and strength, physical strength
runs out and you might have the heart for something, but people get discouraged.
And man, we are in a time right now where a lot of people are
getting discouraged. They're losing hope. You know, I know that by the time this
(24:04):
comes out, we'll know who the new president of our company is, but there's a
lot of political upheaval that's really gonna determine the future of
our nation. At the time that we're recording this, we just had a massive
storm, Helen in North Carolina that
literally wiped away entire towns. Like, the entire landscape
is being reorganized physically Yes. And spiritually.
(24:26):
Okay? Like, when I say and spiritually, these whole communities,
In fact, when I'm a a girlfriend, I came over to stay with me. She's
super successful business, owner, recently
sold her business, like, could doesn't have to work again if she doesn't want to,
but I had pursued all the things of the world, but always chronically stressed,
always chronically anxious, like unable to sleep, fixated on business,
(24:48):
fixated on money. She called me. And when we were talking, she said, Christine,
she lived in Asheville. She said, you know, all this stuff that I used to
have anxiety about and freak out about every day. She goes, I don't care
about any of that anymore. I realize how
ridiculous all of that stressing was.
Yeah. And I just, you know, in a way it's like you, it, the agitation
(25:10):
and the upheaval in the atmosphere sucks because your heart hurts
for what's going on. But at the same time, there's this beautiful cracking
open Yes. Of hearts and people remembering what matters most.
And she's one of those examples, you know. I don't even know how I got
there, but it was like this holy agitation that we're in.
Yes. You know, whether it's outside of you or inside of you, pay attention because
(25:33):
God's trying to do something in you. Yeah. That's so good. I
wanna come back to something you said there because, I think it
was so, poignant. You said that when we're
enough, like when we think I'm enough and I have all the things and I
think that's, that's the lie. Right? We have everything. That's the lie.
Because if yeah. On so many levels, but you know, like when you think about
(25:55):
it, it's like I'm human. Yeah. But also if I believe
if I believe and I subscribe to the fact that I'm enough
and I fall short in an area That's devastating.
Where does that leave me? Yeah. Devastating me. Either a, I'm
supposed to know. Right? And then there's shame and
(26:16):
then there's guilt. Right? And there's the condemnation
of, well, shoot. If I have everything inside me and
I still fall short, then there's something wrong with
me. Yeah. Or I haven't done something, and then it's you know? And
so I'm all for taking responsibility and all of that, but,
I love I used to say this when I was much younger
(26:39):
because I heard it, and it was God doesn't give you more than you can
handle. And somebody stopped me once as in
my twenties and I'll never forget. His name is Kelly and, Kelly
Wilson. And he said to me, he goes, that's not true. And I said,
what do you mean? And he said, if God only
gives you what you can handle, you don't
(27:00):
need him. And I was like, wow, that
is, that is so true. He gives us more than we can handle and then
says, come alongside. I'm going to partner with me
and I'm going to, that's like muscles. Right? We go into the gym. We, we
train so that we can, we, it we're in strength training
right now. Yeah. And the other piece that you, you mentioned there about your, your
(27:23):
friend is letting go of all those things. Like a few years ago, I
had lost everything. And I remember saying, God,
why did you take all this? Why did you allow this all to fall away?
Money, relationships, like everything. I literally was like, it's just you and me.
And I got not, you know, starting over. And he said, I will have no
other gods before me. And the other thing that in
(27:45):
that was that I got to
see that my identity was my
parents died very close together.
It wasn't in who I was in my family. It wasn't the family I was
part of. It wasn't the business because we had been business partners and all of
that and very close at a unique relationship. I
(28:08):
had gotten divorced. We've now gotten remarried, my ex
husband and I, which is so cool. But, like, all of that had happened and
I'm sitting here going, what just happened? Massive reorganization.
Right? Totally. Love that. And then we get to create pot and
right? And then there's that possibility. And then there's freedom. There's freedom in
realizing that none of the stuff that we have
(28:32):
we're gonna take with us. Yeah. None of the stuff matters. And then we went
into the pandemic, and everybody was freaking out over toilet paper and everything. And I
was sitting back, and I'm like, this is really fascinating
to watch from a study of human behavior, to observe
and watch what people's identity was in. Yeah. It was in
their their confidence in their job, confidence in their
(28:54):
business, the way things were, the routine of it.
Yeah. The illusion of safety. Right? The illusion of safety on
all these different levels, you know, and to see that. And so there's been there's
so much happening in the world right now spiritually. And,
it's it's exciting and it's scary. You gotta be
equipped. Now is the time to not have capacity. Now is the
(29:16):
time to be building mental, emotional, physical,
spiritual capacity, leadership abilities, I believe kingdom
style, you know? Yes. Yes. We're gonna be going through some times. I
love what you said though, and I love this conversation that we're having when you
were talking about when God stripped everything away and said, I will have no you'll
have no other gods before me. Because I think you and I must have gone
(29:36):
through something very similar at the same time,
around the same years because I went through a similar thing. And I love
your story of him bringing you and your husband back together, and it was a
complete restructuring and reorganization. And I just wanna do that shout out
for some people listening that might be going through that because this is the
disclaimer I don't always tell people when they work with me, but it's the truth.
(29:58):
If you're truly wanting a transformation,
you want a complete you want a up leveled reality. You want
more than you want it, like, the fullness of life, true fulfillment,
true freedom. Freedom means that nothing got a hold on you. You know?
So anything that you are consciously or unconsciously
worshiping. Right? Like, tied to, terrified. You're gonna need to
(30:20):
get tested on this stuff and the, you know, the plates are gonna shift. So
I see a lot of companies, leaders that say, okay, I'm
ready to go in. It's like, are you ready? Because this ain't for the week
this ain't for the faint of heart. You know, this is why many are called,
few are chosen. The ones who are chosen, many are
called. Few are chosen because the ones who are chosen are the
ones who present and say, okay, God, let's go. I'm at, you know, I'm gonna,
(30:43):
I'm gonna lean in and I'm gonna say yes. And so that's the
chosen is those who are willing to say yes to the restructuring
transformation of not only our outer world, but the way we think, what our heart
longs for, what gets us excited and out of bed in the morning, what
our body feels like.
(31:06):
And, again, whether the pandemic comes or the political
upheaval comes or storms come, we can be a
people that are, like Solid. Not shaken. You
know? And that's that's the thing is like
being, you know, the, the calm in the midst of the storm,
being the one who, you know, is who just like, I, I just, I was
(31:28):
like, wow, this is interesting. Yes. I grieve for those who
lost loved ones. Yes. All of that, you know? Yes. Of course. And my heart
went out to people because of where they were at in their experience,
but I was not shaking because I'd already gone through all of these things.
You mentioned about, you know, possibly when we're going through the
similar things. I know when we talk about the re you know, the
(31:52):
restructuring of your life and all of that. And now you
and your husband work together. You just
ventured out and you're actually merging your businesses. Talk
a little bit about that restructure. And yeah.
It's such a beautiful gift. You guys, I just wanna tell you that, you know,
anybody listening, and I know you maybe felt like you went through a season where
(32:14):
I certainly went through a season where I was like, man, I got divorced
when my kids, you know, were 3, 5, and 7. I got married when I
was 21 the first time around. By the time I was 31, we'd already built
a business, built a glass castle on sand, had 3 kids, and the
divorce was in full swing. And then I went through a decade of pretty much
feeling like I just missed out on and, like, lost everything that I'd
(32:35):
worked so hard for. And I just wanna say, like, God loves to write redemption
stories. You know? He loves to write stories of, you know, everything you thought you
lost, watch out. Cause I'm about to hit hand it back over. My game is
multiplication, not addition. You know what I mean? And so after you
go through this work, I just knew that I knew in my heart,
we are designed. We are created to have thriving, amazing marriage is
(32:57):
the foundation for what I believe will God multiplies us through,
you know, our first, our relationship with him. But I believe
that lie of everything I need is inside me. I don't need no man. I
don't need no God. I can do everything myself. So in my previous marriage, like
I do me, you do you, you know, like I'll have my business, you do
your thing. And even though we did things together, there was still this like gap,
(33:18):
you know? But with mark and I, who is my husband now, I
just really said, God, I'm gonna do this your way. Cause I tried to do
it my way for decades. Okay. And I just kept repeating the same
patterns of disconnected relationships, feeling unsupported in my
business, feeling like my business was in competition with their business, and I
would, like, you know, just it was, like, this friction. Mhmm. And and Mark and
(33:39):
I said, you know what? We're gonna do this different. We're gonna do this
by design, by heavenly design. And so as we
started aligning our marriage and our business to the things that are, you
know, biblical principles, I say eternal principles. You don't even have to believe the
Bible. You don't even have to believe in God. These are eternal principles. They just
work. You they just work. It's in the fabric of how the universe is
(34:01):
created and designed. Right? The bonus is if you do believe in
God, you get this epic relationship, which is amazing.
But as we started coming together and we started emerging
finances, which before, even my previous marriage, I'm like, I got my bank account. You
got yours. Like, you spend your money how you want. You and I see this.
So so many people that I've coached, still separate accounts, still separate everything. That's fine
(34:24):
if that's what you do. But we said, we are 1. So we
started doing this thing, and and, of course, then we've just felt the nudge
that it's time to merge our businesses. So we merged my executive coaching business
and his corporate training and speaking business, which are
really synergistic, obviously. But when we came together and said,
you know, we're gonna come under a bigger mission. You know what happened? Like, our
(34:46):
vision, our mission, like, it amplified
so much. Like, before, it was like we could see. It was like this myopic
kind of vision. You know? It was like more small. And we we thought it
was big. But when we came together, the vision, like, blew
up. The the opportunities that started coming to us.
Like, you know, even something like as simple as the proposals
(35:07):
we were putting out were 3 times the average of what we were
doing before. It was like everything began to multiply. Our
team began to multiply. Our finances began to multiply.
Now I do believe that that is a principle of
submission to something greater. And I'm not
gonna say it was all rainbows and sunshines and unicorns because it was
(35:30):
very humbling actually for both of us because he had
systems and processes the way he ran his business, and he did finances
his way, and he did team building his way, and I did things my way.
And when you all of a sudden go, alright, lift up the hood, baby,
of both cars. You know? We're building a new car now, and we're
just looking at each other. And there was, like, there was some
(35:52):
conflict healthy conflict that needed to happen.
And I think sometimes we're so afraid of conflict, so we don't wanna talk about
money. We don't wanna talk about sex. We don't wanna merge our businesses. You know?
It's just like, but conflict done right multiplies
us and forces us to innovate. And that's exactly what happened with us. We had
to innovate. We had to a press in and go, god, man, if
(36:13):
our finances are upside down, inside out, or anything's
not in integrity or aligned, shed a big old light on it. And I'm gonna
tell you again, it takes courage because the minute we did that, it was like
whack a mole. Boom. You're sloppy with this. Boom. Look at this. Look at this.
Like and we had to restructure our finances and how we manage money and how
we allowed money to flow. Then we said the same thing with leadership, then we
(36:35):
did the same thing with processes. But what we did is we it's like we
innovated all new ways of doing these
things, and we gotta, I would say everything, you know, there's always
more that we don't know. Right? I'm sure there's gonna be more. But
we as we align, ourselves, our
team also to those biblical principles, man, I'm telling you, it's
(36:57):
just like the door's open. Multiplication, like
you said, 30, 60, 100 fold. Yeah. In our so our our
theme of our business, like our tagline is unification. We're the
momentum company. Unification leads to multiplication. And
unification of your team, unification inside of your marriages,
uni unification inside your communities as a team culture.
(37:20):
Unification leads to multiplication. And I I just wanna say this last
thing. This is why our country is on the hot mess that it's in
right now, because we have allowed, we have entertained
divisive Yes. Divisiveness to come in like
a toxic infiltration. And we start spreading gossip and
we start doing this and we start pitting us against each other. And it's,
(37:43):
it's like you allow poison inside of your house and everybody's sipping it. And all
of a sudden it changes your vision. It changes what you look at, you
know? And so we gotta get back to, Unification
under the things that matter most That bigger than my opinions versus your
opinions, or I don't like your personality. Yes. You know what I'm
saying? Yeah. This is more than personality. It's more than personality
(38:05):
and opinions. Yeah. Yeah. They're always gonna be difficult
people. There is. There is. Yeah. And it's getting past that. And
that's but that's part of the, like you said, the counterfeit, right, is the
deception is that that that's the thing that's most important. When
it's like over here, this is what's most important, but everybody's distracted
and looking over here Yeah. To do that. And, and
(38:27):
kudos yeah. And kudos to you. Yeah. Oh my gosh. We could go.
That's a whole podcast. Multiple series. Multiple
podcasts. Talking about that. I love and
kudos to you and your husband for having the courage
to to shine light in those areas. Because a lot of
times I recently just had somebody on on this show
(38:48):
as as well, Robert and Kaylee, Fukui.
And, they wrote a book called Tandem and
marriage, entrepreneurship, working together. And it
takes courage because you think, okay, so now I've got this
relationship and it's going so well. I don't want to mess it up. Yeah.
I hear that all the time. And, and so it's like, yeah,
(39:10):
but you know, if you try to hold onto your life, you
lose it. And you know, when you give it over, then you
gain it. And so if you're holding on to anything, and we talked about
that a few moments ago about that idol, anything
in my experience, anything that we hold too
tightly is is,
(39:33):
subject, right, to destruction, is subject to
be you know, it's like and I can just speak for
myself is that it's and it's also been my prayer. Right. I, I prayed.
I'm like, God, I don't want, I want to have a relationship with you. I
want to have that intimacy with you. I don't want to have anything before you.
And he's like, are you sure about that? Because there's some things
you've had before me and we're, and we got to address those things.
(39:56):
And so, you know, it's it's holding that it's holding that
loosely and trusting. I think there's also maybe as we,
I know we're getting close to wrapping up here. Talk about that
trust. Yeah. How do you how do you trust
Because I think this is a, an issue, right, for a lot
of us is that trust has been broken. Yeah. And
(40:19):
even our perceived trust in God to say, God,
I trusted you. I counted on you, and it didn't work out the way I
wanted it to. And so maybe even our trust with God and
then of course, trust with others and saying, okay, I'm gonna step
out. We're gonna do this and it's gonna be and we're gonna
trust that it's going to be amazing.
(40:41):
How did, how, what would you say to, to that issue
of trust? How do you develop that? That's such a good question.
Such a good question. And I would say that it is
probably the number one issue that we deal with inside
of certainly, I I believe the hearts of leaders, especially
at the top that have had extreme betrayal from people very close inside
(41:03):
their organization. I see this a lot, but also to be quite honest
affairs and everything else inside of marriages. And so
rebuilding of this trust and, you know, how do I rebuild trust and how do
I regain respect with myself, with my teams, or how do
I trust God? Right? Sometimes we feel like my trust in him has been broken.
And I wanna say a couple things about this. And I know I've referenced the
(41:26):
book a couple times because Drop the Armor is the book I put
out in in June, and I have an entire chapter on cultivating
trust, and discernment and cultivating your,
your, your gift and muscle of discernment.
But I, I would say this, you know, a couple of things.
Number 1, as it pertains to ourselves, you know,
(41:49):
the number one thing I see when confidence starts to fall through the
floor, confidence with others, confidence with ourselves
is that we have gotten to become a people. We have become a people
that are very comfortable breaking promises to ourselves. So
good. And every time you break a promise, it could be something as simple
as, you know what? Today, I'm not gonna drink, or tomorrow, I'm gonna hit the
(42:10):
gym. I'm gonna start I'm gonna start praying tomorrow. I'm gonna take my wife out
for a day. I'm gonna do it and we say something. We make a
commitment. We verbalize. We make an agreement, and then we break an
agreement. Every time we do that, what we do is we just broke
trust. It's like you did a little tiny break. Right? And every time you break
trust, you break confidence. And every time you do that,
(42:32):
your confidence starts to your level of certainty, your level of
security knowing that it's solid. You start to
question your own character, actually. You start to question
everything around you, and then the seeds of doubt start creeping in. And so now
doubt, you actually what, whether you're aware of it or not, you
kinda know you're full of BS. You're not gonna follow through. You
(42:53):
now you start to develop this identity of someone who says things but doesn't
really follow through. And so it's become this cycle. Right? So how we
build trust is number 1. We start keeping the
promises. We make a decision effective immediately. I
am a woman or a man who keeps her promises to herself
and to others. And I will show up, and I will lead with trust because
(43:16):
I'm choosing It's a decision every day to wake up
and be trustworthy today. So when I speak
agreements, I'm gonna follow through on it. And, also, this is how we rebuild trust
and relationships. I say, let's ditch these expectations we have of each other.
We need to have clear agreements. So that now, Nicole,
you and I are agreeing on something. We're gonna hold each other accountable to
(43:38):
this agreement. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt that you're gonna
fulfill your agreement. Now if you keep breaking the agreement,
now, you know, you are no longer trustworthy. So we have a character issue,
and now it's not about that. Right? It's like the behavior
shows the character reveals the character. They're not the same thing. So that's
number 1, I would say personally in, like, as a
(44:00):
in an individual level. And this also works with teams or marriages is the
number one thing that I see when people have broken trust this
way is that they have a lot of unspoken
expectations and not a lot of clear
agreements and standards. Both they do make agreements, they've gotten sloppy
with their words. They say one thing, and now they're training everyone
(44:22):
in their environment to either be the one who says things and doesn't follow
through. And we say that that's okay. What we tolerate, we perpetuate. Right? Yeah.
So and I wanna say this about trusting God.
There's there's faith and then there's trust. Faith is
the belief and the hope and the security and the
confidence in the unseen. So I actually haven't seen it
(44:45):
with my physical eyes. I have no proof. I have no evidence.
I just believe it's a choice. Faith is like a spiritual gift
to believe and have confidence in the unseen. Trust
comes, I believe with God, and so has been my experience, on the other
side of obedience. So as I move in faith,
God shows up, and he's like, boom, there I am. You see, I told you
(45:07):
to move. You you moved in faith, and so I'm here.
And so he shows me his character. He does follow through. He meets me on
the other side. He says, open the door. He's waiting for me on the other
side. We want to see without moving in faith.
But what happens is when we move in faith, now all of a sudden my
trust muscle got stronger because I'm like, oh, dang. I know his character. He
(45:28):
shows up when I move in faith. And then I get to
trust his character more and more because I've seen
his character. I've he's followed through. I know
he's he fulfills his word, but I was talking to an executive
client of mine not too long ago who's who's
having the same issue. He says, I just don't I'm having trouble trusting. I said,
(45:50):
when was the last time you moved him? Obedience.
That's so good. If you're having trouble in trusting the
Lord, I would challenge you. When was the last time you
actually moved in faith into the unseen as an
act of obedience? And then allowed God to meet you
on the other side. Cause it ain't faith. If you can see it.
(46:13):
Oh, Christine. So good. Oh my
gosh. That is so good. That's what I have to say about that.
Yeah. Thank you. I love that. I love that. And when
you talk about this, the the
confidence and the agreements that you make to yourself, it's
like the integrity. When you break integrity with yourself, when you don't
(46:35):
trust others, look to see where
you don't trust yourself. Because you don't trust yourself. Yeah.
Oh, man. That's so good. We could talk for hours, but we're gonna we're gonna
wrap up. We'll probably have further conversations and
Yeah. Bring you back at some point. How do people find out,
all the things that you've got going on? Where do they go? Yeah. Well, the
(46:57):
easiest place to connect with me is on my website, the christinejeweldot
com. You can link to my podcast, Breaking Chains. I'm on all major
platforms, iTunes, Spotify, YouTube.
You can get my book there. The book is called Drop the Armor. It's also
available on, Amazon and all the major book platforms.
But if you buy direct from from us, you'll also get a $200 bundle
(47:21):
bonus bundle with that. It's like a PDF journal that takes
you through the exercises in the book. There's a playlist. I got my kingdom
warrior playlist. I've got a free training on overcoming,
the battles that we're facing in times of chaos and confusion, upgraded battle
strategies. So it is essential for the times that we're in. So
these are some of the bonuses you get when you buy the book direct from
(47:43):
from my website. Yeah. So go to the christinejewel.com
and connect with me there. Beautiful. Christine, thank you
so much. This has been such a pleasure. And,
I always say that leaders of transformation take action.
So not to contradict what we just said. Sometimes that action is
(48:03):
stepping back and looking inward at yourself.
Sometimes that action is stepping out of the boat
in faith and trusting and, and
allowing God to show himself trustworthy, whatever that
action is for you, whatever you feel prompted to, I encourage you to take
action on something because without action, nothing
(48:26):
happens. Okay. We can listen to podcasts all day. We can
read books all day. Shoot. We could read the bible all day
as well. But until we start applying it into our lives,
into our own situations, nothing happens. And so I
encourage you to go do that, take action on something. We'd love to hear
how you're taking action, how this has impacted you. You can go on leaders of
(48:48):
transformation.com. Reach out to us there, of course, on all social.
And we'd love to hear how this has, impacted you and and specifically
what you're taking action on. And anything we can do to support you, of course,
along the way, you let us know. Definitely go to the christinejewel.com,
2 l's. We'll make sure that is in the show notes as well. Get
(49:09):
her book, get all the free training that's available there. Awesomeness.
You can tell Christine just exudes this.
And, and it's exciting even just to see the journey that she's having with her
husband and how they're emerging their businesses. So if you're looking for
for what they've got there, go check that out. And,
yeah. Thanks for being here today and we hope this has blessed you. And we
(49:32):
look forward to seeing you next week on another episode of the Leaders of Transformation.
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