April 2, 2025 • 36 mins
This week’s “How She Finds Purpose” insight comes from Valerie Sandjivy. She says –
“That's something else I want to say is that, each time I was told to do something, I did it one step. And then the second step that I didn't know what it was. Showed up. But of course my mind wanted to know the 12 steps, you know, to go, to go all the way.”
Valerie Sandjivy is an adaptive leadership mentor and business coach with over two decades of experience. She’s the founder of Ellips, where she supports executives, C-suite leaders, and entrepreneurs in leading with emotional intelligence, adaptability, and innovation.
With a unique blend of self-leadership, emotional mastery, and soul care, Valerie is passionate about helping others rethink how they lead, grow, and show up - both in business and in life.
Here are 3 reasons why you should listen to this episode:
-
You’ll hear a refreshingly honest take on building a purpose-aligned life, even when you don’t have it all figured out.
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You’ll learn why listening to your intuition (even when it doesn’t make sense) can completely reshape your career path.
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You’ll get a simple but powerful tip on how to create space in your day for more meaning, even if you only have five minutes.
Connect with Valerie at:
Website: https://www.ellips.us.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valeriesandjivy/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valarie_sandjivy/
Would you prefer to watch or listen to the podcast on YouTube?
Head on over to https://www.youtube.com/@leadershippurposepodcast
Want to connect? Connect with Dr. Robin on
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robinlowensphd/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/robinlowensphd
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robinlowensphd/
Email: Robin@LeadershipPurposePodcast.com
Thank you for listening! Rate, review, & follow on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast player. Talk to you soon!
This episode was produced by Lynda, Podcast Manager for GenX Creative Entrepreneurs at https://www.ljscreativeservices.co.nz
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to the Leadership Purpose with Dr. Robin podcast.
I'm your host, Robin L Owens, PhD. I'm a college
professor. And when I'm not doing that, I am teaching others
how to find and stay in alignment with their true purpose.
And this is where we talk with women who've made bold career
transitions in search for more meaning and purpose in
(00:24):
their work. So if you're feeling that pull toward more meaning and purpose in
your work or just curious about what's possible when you
pursue purpose over position, then these
conversations are here to encourage, inspire,
and guide you. Okay. Let's get started.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Purpose
(00:47):
with Dr. Robin podcast. So glad you're here listening
into the podcast. I say it all the time and I will continue to say
it. I really appreciate you for listening in. And because you've been
such a faithful listeners, we've been ranked in the top 5%
of all podcasts globally according to Listen Notes. So thank
you so much. Continue your support. Rate,
(01:09):
subscribe, review. We hear those things all the time, but it really would make a
difference. Alright. So I can't wait to get in today's conversation.
Today, I'm talking with Valerie Sandjivy. Now
let me tell you a little bit about Valerie. She's an adaptive
leadership mentor and business coach with over
two decades of experience under her belt.
(01:31):
Valerie is the founder of EllipsUS where she helps
executives, c suite leaders, and entrepreneurs
step into their power with more emotional intelligence,
adaptability, and innovation. Valerie's
unique method combines self leadership,
emotional mastery, and soul care. She
(01:54):
helps leaders rethink how they lead, grow, and
show up. And she's someone who's deeply committed
to evolving what leadership can look like, not just
in business, but in life. Welcome, Valerie
Sandjivy. Thank you, Robin, for having me on your show. I'm
so glad you're here. Alright. And I I'm
(02:17):
just excited that you took the time out. We have a difference in time,
and you're calling in from Paris, Yes. France.
And so that's a real commitment and dedication, and I'm here in Los Angeles.
Alright. So now you've heard me just say a little bit about your a little
bit of an introduction. But why don't you tell us in your own words what
you like to share about you and or your work? Yeah.
(02:40):
The way I like to introduce myself is like I'm saying like, you know
what? I am a human being who's trying to figure out what
life is about. That's really what it is. And lucky
me, I have a soul who who knows better and is trying to lead
me. Even sometimes my human being is on the way, but my soul is trying
to lead me. That's the way I like it to, to introduce
(03:02):
myself. But aside of that, I'm an engineer. I have
master degree in a business school and I spent twenty years in
different corporate positions up to c level.
For example I was the head of the
business unit when I was working in Detroit, Michigan.
I was VP of sales and I was managing
(03:24):
100 millions of euros when I was in France so
a big account you know a lot of money and
this was you know my path when I was working in the corporate
career I did that for twenty years. I work in automotive and
in health care. So very masculine
way and then very feminine because health care is usually
(03:47):
more feminine, women, you know, more
women, you know, in in the in employees. And
today, I've been, actually, I started my business eleven years ago,
which I did not know I was going to do that. We are we are
going to go, and tell you I'm going to tell you the story. And
today I'm a leadership mentor
(04:09):
and a business leader. And I'm here really
the way I want to the way I see it is like I'm really here
to inspire people to lead themselves
so they lead themselves, you know, because that's important in their
mission. And I do that by expanding
the consciousness and by activating people.
(04:32):
Only being in my field, people are getting activated. I see that
all the time, you know. And, for me, it's like,
basically, what I mean by by leading your mission is
like stepping out of the, how can I say
that, stepping out of life is doing that to me to I'm
going to the creation mode? And I love the creation mode.
(04:54):
Since I understood what it what it means, I love it now.
So that's basically who I am and what I do.
And I live in France in Paris. Yeah. Yeah. And, of course, I love that
because that's why we're here because we kinda at that same kind of like
minded thinking. Right? You're like, what life is for you. Right?
It's not happening to you of that. Yeah. And leading your
(05:18):
life and yourself so you can lead others. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Alright. So now where should we begin? Let's just go
back. You said you started this business eleven years ago.
Alright. So let's start there and then maybe I might go
back earlier or jump forward or go back and forth. But since you
brought that one up now, let's talk about that one. Tell us about what
(05:41):
led you to start the business eleven years ago. So you know
really nothing. You know when I left the corporate world
I it was like I was done with the last position I had and they
wanted to keep me and I said you know what I think there is something
else outside you know I thought I was going to work for another company
doing you know another position which I was happy to but
(06:04):
life didn't say that to me. Life decided a different way,
my soul decided a different way and decided, like,
okay. Let's do a coaching training. I I don't know how
it came to my mind. Wait a minute. Out of nowhere, you hadn't thought about
it. You just you were thinking about you're gonna go to another corporate
position Yeah. And suddenly It's crazy. Painting comes to
(06:27):
your mind. And, you know, as I always follow what my
intuition was, you know, I always did that. If something was, you know, the
common thread in my life, I always followed, you know, what
was showing up, you know, in in the field, in the in the area, in
the wherever you want, you know, like, the ideas. It's like, okay. Do a
coaching training. Why do I want to do a coaching training? I don't want to
(06:49):
be a coach. I don't want to start my own business. I don't
know. You know, I was not part of a family where we build business, you
know. It's like my parents who they have, you know, their work. They were,
you know, employees all their time. All my family, they are we know we work,
you know, for someone. Nobody in my area was here to tell me,
okay. Can be an entrepreneur. I don't think I even knew the name.
(07:11):
Entrepreneur. That's incredible.
Jeez. So, you know, you you follow a path, and you don't know where it's
going to bring you. But, you know, you follow. You know? And then you know
I will always turn myself that kept me you know going.
You know Valerie you have a lot of skills twenty years you know in different
corporate settings you have a lot of skills so if at one point you
(07:32):
know coaching is not, you know, your your your gem,
then you will go back, you know, and do project management or sales or
whatever you've been doing. You're an engineer, so you can do whatever.
But, of course, it didn't happen like that. So then after that, I
am all all in start your business.
What in the world is that? So I'm stuck. I said, but how
(07:55):
do we start the business? I didn't know. No. I didn't have a figure,
you know, in my in in my environment, in my in my life, people that,
who did that. So I started, you know, the first business. So I
meet people, and then, of course, life is showing you people when or it's all
of a sudden. You don't know where they're coming from. So
I'm starting this new business, and the friend of mine that I met, you know,
(08:18):
during my coaching training said, oh, okay. You know what?
While you are building your, coaching business, if you want, you
know, to train, people, you know, on different stuff, you know, management,
on on leadership on whatever we have we have plenty
of work if you want you know to do. I say okay you know in
the meantime we have to eat you know in the meantime that you are building
(08:39):
your business. Right. So again you know I was I was
lucky I feel I feel I was very lucky. So So I'm starting that and
I'm building you know my business and building the audience and little by little
and for me really it's like, I so I I had the first
company then I closed the first one, I started on the second
one, closed that one, started the third one, but all the time to do the
(09:01):
same thing around, leadership, around business
coaching, around coaching and mentor mentorship. Of
course, the names change, but it was all almost all that all the time. But
at the beginning, it was more, like, working
on healing what was wrong. You know, you face something in life and
healing what was wrong, and I went into the path of that. I did it
(09:23):
that for myself, and I was doing that for my clients because they were asking
for that. And then at one point, I said, you know what? I can dig,
you know, there will always be something wrong and we can always find
something wrong. So I'm not going to do that anymore. So I
shifted, and I said, you know what? If I'm
able to go in the depths of what I could see in people
(09:44):
in clearing and healing, if we can say that word, I can do it I
can go in the same depth as expanding because I could
see it, you know, but at that time, I didn't know I could see in
Europe both. I could see what was wrong, But I said, okay. If I
can see what is wrong, I can see what is possible as well.
So I shifted, you know, and it's not only, you know,
(10:06):
positive thinking. It was not only that. It was really a mind
shift. That's why I said, you know, getting getting out of the victim mode,
which is we are all victim, you know. It's like I'm not pointing fingers.
We are all victim because we are put in that situation, you know,
in this mindset. And I said, okay. Let's switch and go
to the creation mode, which is more something where we can play
(10:29):
and let's switch that. So that's what I did and then suddenly,
you know, life is changing again because, you know, I'm
taking, you know, the nuggets and I'm doing something. I'm
that's something else I I want to say is that each time I
was told to do something, I did it one step. And
then the second step that I didn't know what it was showed up.
(10:52):
But, of course, my man wanted to know the 12 steps, you know, to
go to go all the way. Yeah. That is a very that's a a
nugget for people listening. You took just the first
step. You had enough information just for the first step, and you didn't worry about
it. And then the next step came and the next step, and you said you
did that each time. So that's a valuable lesson for people who are listening because,
(11:14):
like you say, we do tend to especially those of us who are high achieving
women, we want the whole plan laid out. We want the 12 steps, the two
years, the five years, the whole thing. Right. The five And so but you did
that with just that one step each time. So good
for you for doing that. Yeah. But I'm not I'm not going to lie to
the audience. The first the first company that I that I built, you know,
(11:35):
I was trying to find, you know, to build the the the the 12 steps.
But then each time that I was building and trying to build, you know, all
the steps, I could see that when I was finally taking the first one, the
second one was definitely not what the the one I was thinking it was going
to be. So I said, you know what? You never did that when you were
incorporate. You never did that when you were incorporate. You know what is going to
(11:56):
be my career, what I want to do, but I I did not, you know,
mean to go to Detroit. I didn't mean, you know, to to be, you know,
managing, you know, 100 millions dollars euros, but it's the same,
basically. And I said, you know what? It was shown to
me. So let's do the same, But it's not it's less easy when it's your
own business because, you know, you still want to eat at the end of
(12:16):
the day. But I said, you know, I have to faith to to to have
faith, which is hard, which is harder. But Yeah.
Actually, if you let intuition because usually we have good
intuition. Women, we have good intuition, but we don't listen to
them. And men, they have good intuition, but they listen to them.
You know why I I know the difference, you know, because when I speak with
(12:37):
I speak with a lot of leaders and a lot of men as well
because I work with men as well I don't work only with women but I
love both you know and they always send me of course I have
intuition of course when I'm in the shower something is coming up of course when
I'm going on the treadmill, I'm going for a run or playing golf or whatever.
Of course, I I have intuition, but they don't spread it around.
(12:58):
They don't say it. Oh. But they do have
them. Yeah. In your mind. You're right. And just giving
those examples, we probably people listening right now, we know, like, have
conversations with men that we know always this idea came in the
shower or, like, running or on the treadmill or Writing
or cooking. Yeah. It's just a good point. They don't
(13:20):
talk about it as intuition. Alright. But now that we're on the subject of
intuition, let's stay there for a minute. Now let's go back,
alright, to the beginning of this this idea that popped in your
mind. First, do the coach training, and then next,
it was going to be start the business. Now you
said that you kinda had this understanding and intuition. Is
(13:42):
that intuition something that you've had
since early days? Like, were you already in
the habit of recognizing that you had intuition and
then following it? But yes. It is. That's a great question
actually. At that time, I wouldn't call them intuition. Like I'm
going to give you a couple of example because I think that it could serve
(14:03):
the audience. When when I when I start I
decided to go to the engineer school, it was not you
know a desire from me. The way I did it is like everybody was doing
that. I said okay okay I'm going to do that as well. I wanted to
be a doctor actually you know I didn't want to be an engineer and then
you know life was not showing the path for doctors. My parents
(14:24):
didn't want to, it was kind of difficult, they said it's a long so many
years to study and I'm happy I didn't do it you know so I followed
you know the path of of you know my my friend
who were doing everybody was doing engineer okay I'm going to do
that and then you know after that I did the master degree but
it's not something I planned it's time that it was shown
(14:47):
on my way. So the way we want to see it is like is it
life putting that on your way? Is it an intuition that you have to do
that and life is putting that on your way? It's kind of you know both
ways. It's because something is telling you that's why I speak
about the higher self. I like to speak about the higher self
you know leadership. This is not the mind leadership. It's really something else
(15:08):
is guiding you And do you follow it or not?
Because whatever your higher self is telling you
is to put you, and I really trust what I'm going to say right now,
is to put you in the training zone
of what you have to bring to the community later
on, but you don't know when. So I've been
(15:31):
trained for me the the way I see that I follow the steps. Go to
Detroit, come back, go to Japan, go to Brazil. That's what my my
life. Okay. Don't you want to to do the the the sales position? Of course,
I want to do the sales position. Over each the time life was
showing me something, and I had the intuition to say
yes. But was it the intuition before that life
(15:52):
showing that that I can't say, but for me, it works.
It works, you know, together. It's because you
have something within you that we don't know what it is. It's telling
you something and then suddenly it's showing up. Like, when you have a friend, you
think about this one and then she calls. You know? You think
about, you know, I I would like to eat strawberries and, you know,
(16:15):
sure enough, you go to the market, strawberries are all around.
That's the way it is. So is it life showing you or is it your
intuition creating that? For me, it works both
ways. It works together because what is life is our
soul. It works together and this is what intuition. So I
don't know if I answered the question, but that's the way it works. It did.
(16:35):
It did. And I can relate to it very easily, but I'm imagining some people
don't. So I wanna speak for the people who it might be a little bit
more of a challenge. But like you and my friends tell me all the time.
I I always say, can you believe this? And it's always like this, you
know, super coincidence or this thing like what you're talking about. And they
say, yeah. That happens with you all the time. You know? They're always like now
(16:56):
it's old news. Like, yeah. That happens with you all the time. So I
understand what you're saying. However, I know there's some people who
may feel like that has that doesn't happen to me. It sounds like in the
way that it happened for you, and sometimes it happens for me. And you
make a distinction between life. You said it could be it's like
this balance of life and intuition. So now let's take the person who
(17:18):
like, well, I don't have a whole lot of that experience. When they say
when they think, well, is life life is that
just my circumstances guiding me? And what if there's a
circumstances that led them to maybe not the best thing
that happened to them, something that caused them pain or hurt? What do you say
to that? Yeah it's a great question actually for me
(17:40):
it's everybody first of all I want to say before I'm going to answer the
question that first of all everybody has intuition everybody has a soul
everybody can be guided by life Now do we listen to that
or not? That's a different question and of course our mind is on the way.
Of course our ego is on the way because we feel that our ego, our
mind knows better. I've been there you know so so I understand
(18:00):
that. So to answer this the question is like for me,
it's like, what are the circumstances? You know? What is the way I
see it, it is I am, you know, a movie star and
this is my movie. So what are the characters? You know? So today
you are a character in my movie because we are speaking. But my family is
our character, my friends are characters, my coworkers are characters you
(18:22):
know everybody who was who has have been or who are
still in my life are characters of my movie and what do they
tell me? What do they show me? I have a happy life you know with
nice friends or do I fight all the time with my friends?
Is it because of the friend or is it because of me? And for me
it's really see the circumstances and not judging
(18:43):
us that I created that. No. No. No. Don't go that
down that road. Come back. Come back here. It's not you who
created that. It's not to punish you, but it's just showing
you, maybe there is a misalignment there. Because Because
somebody nobody wants you not to be in a bad situation, but this is just
to tell you, watch out. You are on the wrong path.
(19:06):
It's like, you know, you are with Waze. You are right. You are on you
are on on on in the car, and then suddenly he was thinking,
make the first u-turn, make the first u-turn, make the first u-turn, and he keep
repeating that. What is it in our life? It's like life showing us, you
know, the same thing. One person, you know, this morning told me,
you know, that I was nice not nice. And this tonight my children told me
(19:28):
that I was not nice. And then, you know, my husband, you know, at night
told me that I was not nice. I said, oh, that's a lot of people
telling me that I'm not nice today. So what are the circumstances?
Not that I deserve any of them. Don't take don't
go down that road. No no no no no no because it's going
to be the victimhood so don't go there. Life is showing
(19:50):
you what is not aligned and sometimes, I'm sorry
but we have to say to say that, sometimes life is showing you that a
very hard way, very hard way. So I'm
very I'm very careful on what I'm saying and I'm I
feel very sorry for people who are going through a rough path.
But you know for me every rough path is because
(20:13):
there will be a wisdom out of it. You know how many people you know
they had, you know, this, you know, life and something happened and they
were, like, near to death and then they come back and they were
this best person who were able to know to, to explain something to
the world. So I'm not saying we deserve
anything that we are facing. I'm not saying that, but this is for me
(20:35):
really what we are trained to be better at. And
the more we overcome the situation that is
in your in your movie, the more we are prepared
for, you know, the next, the next version of us.
And some of us choose a very strong, very
difficult path. I I I we have to acknowledge that.
(20:57):
Yeah. Yeah. And I appreciate you for acknowledging that, you know, especially for
those who are going through those difficult times. Yeah. Alright. So now
let's that was intuition. Now let's talk about purpose. Yes. Do you feel like
you're living in your purpose now? Yes. Very much. Today I
can say 100% I was there but was not the case
all the time. Okay. So how did you get from out
(21:20):
of purpose to in your purpose? That's my shorthand way of saying it. You know,
there was a time in your life you said, no. I wasn't in purpose but
now I am. So how'd you get there? Let's let's refresh what I just
said. At the beginning beginning I did not know what was the purpose
and then after that I actually started
I want to say like six years ago when I thought okay
(21:42):
now I understand my life, but I
was all the time in the purpose because I was trained
to be what I am today. So let's give an example because we like
examples. So like I was always the one when I was
in my corporate positions, always the one to innovate,
always the one to work on the new big product, not, you know, the small
(22:04):
product, you know, not a penny, you know, the big, you know, car product, new
product that was never done. The one opening, you know, the business
unit in The US. The one stepping foot in
Japan where our company was not, you know, positioned. The one
going to Brazil and to work, you know, on this, you know, plant. Then
in healthcare, the one to open this new
(22:25):
facility where we are building new chemotherapy,
product which was not done in France. It was always in the hospital. Now we
did it outside of the hospital. It was always something new,
something new. And each time they would come and ask me even when I was
in the sales position it was to work with a client where there was this
big crisis. Nobody could get out of this crisis. It was
(22:48):
you know something that nobody never ever did. I come
in. Each time I'm there, you know, to solve issues,
to do innovation, to be trained for that, to
start over, to grow the team. And I say that
over and over and over and over again. I say, said, okay. There must be
something there. You know? So now
(23:11):
I'm here, you know, like six years ago, and I said, you know what? Let's
look again, you know, one more time. What was the path? What was the path?
What was the common thread? And then, you know, suddenly it
hits you, you know? But I was there, you know, to lead
myself in all of those situation to show that
we can, you know, become stronger because we've been in
(23:32):
those situation. So I'm leading myself. People would tell you, it's
easy for you to go and work in The US. I would like to do
the same. I said, but you just come within people if you want to.
And, obviously, you know, I understand. I have a family. I can't quit my family.
I said, bring your family. No. You know, my family doesn't want to move. I
said, but I didn't say that. I was I go.
(23:54):
No. Tell me I'm going. You know? I'm packing my my my stuff.
So for me, it's like kind of like the sense of purpose was really I'm
leading myself. I'm leading myself. You know, life is like the
box of chocolate, you know, in Forrest Gump. Life is a box of chocolate, and
you never know what you are going to get take it. But do are you
eating still the chocolate? Yes. I pick one, and I'm
(24:16):
eating it. And I lead myself whether I like it or not. Because
if I don't like it, it means I'm going to be become stronger out of
it. And if I like it like it, it means that, okay, I already have
the skills so I can just be more I'm better. Like, I can
master it. Yes. So that's what it is. And so I can
lead myself. I can and so I can help people to lead themselves.
(24:38):
But in doing what? Not to do necessarily the corporate drop, but
I don't, you know, I I don't judge the corporate drop. We need people for
everything. We need people for everything. So for me,
it's really to lead ourself to be the best
in our mission. And usually, what I what I like to
to, the way I like to explain it with is with the
(25:00):
orchestra. You know, in orchestra, you have, like, different musicians, different
people, you know, different instrument. So you have the violin, you have the
guitar, you have the bass, you have whatever, you know, the flute.
Everybody is supposed to play their instrument and their
note. And if someone is not doing that, it's what we call the
chaos. But if everybody doing their note with their
(25:22):
instrument, which they are good at, then
it's a nice harmony. And that's what I want help to
help people with. It's like lead yourself not to copy
whatever your neighbor, your co worker, your your spouse or your friend is
doing. No no no no. Stop copying. We have to stop copying.
(25:42):
We have to do what is, you know, within us. What
is it within us that we are good at and that we want
to master because if we master it, we can bring it to the world as
a service. That's right. Right. And I agree wholeheartedly.
I mean, I say the same thing. We, you know, we we already knew we
were on the same wavelength about that. But, you know, one thing I wanna point
(26:04):
out that you're gifted at that you you kinda went over very
quickly that might not come easily to everybody else or some other
people, maybe to some and not to some others. You stopped
at these different intervals in your life and work and said, let me
look and see what's happening here. And you looked at what you were
doing. Then after you looked at what you were doing, let's call that
(26:26):
reflection, did some reflection, some introspection, and said, look, these
are patterns. This has been happening all along. You were expressing
those parts of yourself in corporate before you went on to
the business and then develop the business around those same,
gifts, strengths, you know, natural abilities that you have. So
(26:46):
but you had the the either the the gift or the
wherewithal or experience to look at, stop, and do
the reflection. So I'm saying that for people who listening, who are listening,
sometimes when we say reflection or stop, it seems like, oh, I
don't have time to think about myself. I'm busy. Or you know
what's the point of that but there really is value in that and your
(27:08):
your story is an example of that. And I well, I am
100%, I mean I 100% agree with you you know
why because it's in the pause that something is
happening. And you know why? I'm going I want to explain that for the audience
to make it clear why it's in the pause. It's like for me, and
and you're right, I've been doing a lot of reflection and a lot of
(27:30):
complete contemplation. It's part of my soul care, you know. I reflect
on everything that happened, you know, every day if I if I have time.
If I don't have time, like, tonight is going to be late, so probably I
won't do it tonight, but definitely tomorrow or at the end of the week, you
know, I always say to my family and to everybody, okay. I need two hours,
you know, like, you don't speak to me, no phone because I want to have
(27:50):
time to reflect, you know, to contemplate. Yes. So that's the
first thing. The second thing is, like, yes. What is in the pause? When we
are in the pause, what is it? Does it mean? It means
that there is nothing in the pose there is nothing. It's like when you
play music like we were speaking about music in between the notes there is
nothing you know there is the this emptiness and because
(28:12):
there is the emptiness there is the pause then something else
something else can happen something else can drop. If we
are always full full full full like a glass of water if the water is
always full in the glass there is no more room you know for another drop.
In the pause it's when we bring
(28:33):
space for something else to arrive,
to land, and then we can do something with
it. You know we can have a full day you know, we women
we are good at that you know from eight eight, six from
six to nine, we can be busy every single minute doing a
lot of things. But I think the more we
(28:56):
are going to learn to pause and it's only can be only five minutes. It
can be only a breathe. I'm going to to breathe just right now. I have
so many things to do. Okay. Just stop, breathe,
and go. That's take few seconds, you know?
And because we do that, then we we bring the space.
So if we don't like the word spouser, which we might not
(29:18):
like, I want to offer the community another word, which
is space. If you don't like the how can
you have space? Like, when you're full, you ate, you know, a full meal.
You you don't want dessert when you had have a full meal.
But can how can I leave room for dessert? So what do I
do? I eat a little bit less of the steak or the the fish or
(29:40):
whatever, vegetarian, whatever we eat, you know. So I don't, you know,
I don't, you know, eat the full dish. I'm saving
space for dessert. Do we say that? Yes. We say
that. So it's the same, you know, for that. How can
I bring space? If we don't like both, think
space. Like that because you're they kinda go
(30:01):
together. We talked about the reflection, and you're talking about
pause, but that brings the space, and you can't
have one without the other. But the pause is something you can
do, like you said, just five minutes. You just have a short amount of time
and you don't have the two hours, like, you can give yourself for reflection. Have
a a routine, I would say. Get in the habit of having that
(30:23):
pause and opening up that space so you can come in to your
to your own thoughts. I mean Which is very much the feminine energy and
when we think about Mhmm. Because masculine is doing and feminine
is not it's like we we we feel being is doing
nothing. Actually, we are not doing nothing. We are receiving
something else. Yes. And I think it's time to that we've rephrased
(30:46):
all those words as well because we feel that we if I'm in the feminine
I'm doing nothing. That's not that's wrong women. That's wrong. Actually, you are
doing a lot. You are receiving the new creation. You are receiving the new
the new seed. You are receiving everything else that is going to change our
life. I agree. I agree wholeheartedly. I mean, you've
given us so much to think about and what I'm calling them nuggets,
(31:08):
you know, like treasures. Right? But let me just ask you the question
so people can get it explicitly. Alright. So then you've been listening to the
podcast. So you know it's for high achieving women. And she's at a point where
she's like, there's something missing. I'm looking for more
purpose and meaning. I have all the things success, check the
boxes, promotion, but something is missing. Now you
(31:31):
gave us some tools already, but what's something else you could give
to her as she's listening now in her quest
for having more fulfillment in her life through purpose and meaning? Yeah. I
know this is your one of your signature questions and I love this question and,
I was eager for you to ask me this question.
For me, it's like find in everything that
(31:53):
you are doing for work or whatever in your position. Find
the one or the two things that you like. Take a step
with those skills that you like. You like to do that and you're happy doing
that. Take a step toward how you can bring a little
bit more of that in your business, in your life, in your
journey, whatever. Find what you are good at, what you like to do, and
(32:16):
do a first step in the direction of this is going to be more of
what I'm going to do every day. Then the second step is
going to to show up. Really, that's what I I I I
I I I like, I like to say. And little by
little, you will see that what we are good at and that we are
going, you know, to more master and master even more, that's how we serve
(32:38):
the world at the end of the day. Yes. But we are good at it.
That's as good as that. I'm with you 100 on
that. I'm with you 100%, and I think that's a
wonderful, advice for somebody to get started right right
away. And it's kind of fun to think about what you're good at because it
makes you feel good when you think about it and even when you do it.
(33:00):
So that's wonderful. Alright. So like we said before before we started
recording, we could talk all day, but I know it's it's it's has
bedtime for you or near bedtime depending on what time you go to
bed. So, before before you
lead to go on to the rest of your evening, tell people how they can
be in touch with you if they wanna hear more about you and your work
(33:21):
and what you're doing. So the best way is to go my website,
which is ellips.US.com. And from
there, they can find my social media. They can have, freebies. They can
have, you know, leadership assessment. They can have activations for
free. They can contact me from there. Everything is
there. They can find me they can find my podcast as well, which is really
(33:44):
around leadership. And you are on the on the purpose with
leadership. I'm pretty much on how do you we do do we beat everything that
I just said, you know, from there. So there is a podcast as well. So
that means everything is there. Otherwise, you can find me on social media as well,
and and it's easy. Where do they find you on social media?
Yes. On LinkedIn or Instagram. It's always the same name,
(34:06):
but the best way is really my my website
ellips.US.com. Alright. And I'll spell the website
because somebody's like in the car right now, and they're like, wait. I wanna write
it down.
Ellips.US.com.
Yes. Ellips.US.com. And
you can find Valerie there. Valerie, it's been a delight as we knew it was
(34:29):
gonna be. I really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you for being here at
the very end of your night all the way from Paris, France.
Really appreciate you for sharing your wisdom and your growth and your
purpose journey. Appreciate you. Thank you, Robin. Just last
one last phrase. What I want to say to the audience to to finish to
conclude, all bad things come to an end as
(34:51):
well. Yeah. Because we always see all good things come to an end, and
I want to change the mindset and leave the audience with that. All
bad things come to an end as well. All
bad things come to an end is true. We've lived through them. Right? We're still
here, and they're over. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you for for Thank you.
Popping that last nugget. You couldn't let it go. It's like, I got one more
(35:13):
thing. I can't wait for it to say.
Thank you so much, Romy. Thank you, Valerie, for being here. And I
for everyone, I'd love to hear your response to the any moment you
have from our conversation or any any thought you
have. And if you want more from me, head over to the
podcast website,
(35:33):
leadershippurposepodcast.com. Leadership
purpose podcast Com, and you can get more from me.
And I'd love to have you connect with me on LinkedIn. Just
connect or follow, there. I'm at Robin L.
Owens PhD, Robin L. Owens PhD, as well on the other
socials. But I spend most of my time on LinkedIn. I'd love to hear from
(35:55):
you. And we'll have some more resources for you on the website.
And until next time, this is Doctor.
Robin. Thank you for tuning into this episode of the
Leadership Purpose with Dr. Robin podcast. If you
enjoyed it, head on over and rate and subscribe
so you never miss an episode. New episodes drop
(36:17):
every week, and I can't wait to hang out with you again
soon. Meanwhile, this is Dr.
Robin signing off. See you next
time.
Welcome to the Leadership Purpose with Dr. Robin podcast.
I'm your host, Robin L Owens, PhD. I'm a college
professor. And when I'm not doing that, I am teaching others
how to find and stay in alignment with their true purpose.
And this is where we talk with women who've made bold career
transitions in search for more meaning and purpose in
(00:24):
their work. So if you're feeling that pull toward more meaning and purpose in
your work or just curious about what's possible when you
pursue purpose over position, then these
conversations are here to encourage, inspire,
and guide you. Okay. Let's get started.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Purpose
(00:47):
with Dr. Robin podcast. So glad you're here listening
into the podcast. I say it all the time and I will continue to say
it. I really appreciate you for listening in. And because you've been
such a faithful listeners, we've been ranked in the top 5%
of all podcasts globally according to Listen Notes. So thank
you so much. Continue your support. Rate,
(01:09):
subscribe, review. We hear those things all the time, but it really would make a
difference. Alright. So I can't wait to get in today's conversation.
Today, I'm talking with Valerie Sandjivy. Now
let me tell you a little bit about Valerie. She's an adaptive
leadership mentor and business coach with over
two decades of experience under her belt.
(01:31):
Valerie is the founder of EllipsUS where she helps
executives, c suite leaders, and entrepreneurs
step into their power with more emotional intelligence,
adaptability, and innovation. Valerie's
unique method combines self leadership,
emotional mastery, and soul care. She
(01:54):
helps leaders rethink how they lead, grow, and
show up. And she's someone who's deeply committed
to evolving what leadership can look like, not just
in business, but in life. Welcome, Valerie
Sandjivy. Thank you, Robin, for having me on your show. I'm
so glad you're here. Alright. And I I'm
(02:17):
just excited that you took the time out. We have a difference in time,
and you're calling in from Paris, Yes. France.
And so that's a real commitment and dedication, and I'm here in Los Angeles.
Alright. So now you've heard me just say a little bit about your a little
bit of an introduction. But why don't you tell us in your own words what
you like to share about you and or your work? Yeah.
(02:40):
The way I like to introduce myself is like I'm saying like, you know
what? I am a human being who's trying to figure out what
life is about. That's really what it is. And lucky
me, I have a soul who who knows better and is trying to lead
me. Even sometimes my human being is on the way, but my soul is trying
to lead me. That's the way I like it to, to introduce
(03:02):
myself. But aside of that, I'm an engineer. I have
master degree in a business school and I spent twenty years in
different corporate positions up to c level.
For example I was the head of the
business unit when I was working in Detroit, Michigan.
I was VP of sales and I was managing
(03:24):
100 millions of euros when I was in France so
a big account you know a lot of money and
this was you know my path when I was working in the corporate
career I did that for twenty years. I work in automotive and
in health care. So very masculine
way and then very feminine because health care is usually
(03:47):
more feminine, women, you know, more
women, you know, in in the in employees. And
today, I've been, actually, I started my business eleven years ago,
which I did not know I was going to do that. We are we are
going to go, and tell you I'm going to tell you the story. And
today I'm a leadership mentor
(04:09):
and a business leader. And I'm here really
the way I want to the way I see it is like I'm really here
to inspire people to lead themselves
so they lead themselves, you know, because that's important in their
mission. And I do that by expanding
the consciousness and by activating people.
(04:32):
Only being in my field, people are getting activated. I see that
all the time, you know. And, for me, it's like,
basically, what I mean by by leading your mission is
like stepping out of the, how can I say
that, stepping out of life is doing that to me to I'm
going to the creation mode? And I love the creation mode.
(04:54):
Since I understood what it what it means, I love it now.
So that's basically who I am and what I do.
And I live in France in Paris. Yeah. Yeah. And, of course, I love that
because that's why we're here because we kinda at that same kind of like
minded thinking. Right? You're like, what life is for you. Right?
It's not happening to you of that. Yeah. And leading your
(05:18):
life and yourself so you can lead others. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Alright. So now where should we begin? Let's just go
back. You said you started this business eleven years ago.
Alright. So let's start there and then maybe I might go
back earlier or jump forward or go back and forth. But since you
brought that one up now, let's talk about that one. Tell us about what
(05:41):
led you to start the business eleven years ago. So you know
really nothing. You know when I left the corporate world
I it was like I was done with the last position I had and they
wanted to keep me and I said you know what I think there is something
else outside you know I thought I was going to work for another company
doing you know another position which I was happy to but
(06:04):
life didn't say that to me. Life decided a different way,
my soul decided a different way and decided, like,
okay. Let's do a coaching training. I I don't know how
it came to my mind. Wait a minute. Out of nowhere, you hadn't thought about
it. You just you were thinking about you're gonna go to another corporate
position Yeah. And suddenly It's crazy. Painting comes to
(06:27):
your mind. And, you know, as I always follow what my
intuition was, you know, I always did that. If something was, you know, the
common thread in my life, I always followed, you know, what
was showing up, you know, in in the field, in the in the area, in
the wherever you want, you know, like, the ideas. It's like, okay. Do a
coaching training. Why do I want to do a coaching training? I don't want to
(06:49):
be a coach. I don't want to start my own business. I don't
know. You know, I was not part of a family where we build business, you
know. It's like my parents who they have, you know, their work. They were,
you know, employees all their time. All my family, they are we know we work,
you know, for someone. Nobody in my area was here to tell me,
okay. Can be an entrepreneur. I don't think I even knew the name.
(07:11):
Entrepreneur. That's incredible.
Jeez. So, you know, you you follow a path, and you don't know where it's
going to bring you. But, you know, you follow. You know? And then you know
I will always turn myself that kept me you know going.
You know Valerie you have a lot of skills twenty years you know in different
corporate settings you have a lot of skills so if at one point you
(07:32):
know coaching is not, you know, your your your gem,
then you will go back, you know, and do project management or sales or
whatever you've been doing. You're an engineer, so you can do whatever.
But, of course, it didn't happen like that. So then after that, I
am all all in start your business.
What in the world is that? So I'm stuck. I said, but how
(07:55):
do we start the business? I didn't know. No. I didn't have a figure,
you know, in my in in my environment, in my in my life, people that,
who did that. So I started, you know, the first business. So I
meet people, and then, of course, life is showing you people when or it's all
of a sudden. You don't know where they're coming from. So
I'm starting this new business, and the friend of mine that I met, you know,
(08:18):
during my coaching training said, oh, okay. You know what?
While you are building your, coaching business, if you want, you
know, to train, people, you know, on different stuff, you know, management,
on on leadership on whatever we have we have plenty
of work if you want you know to do. I say okay you know in
the meantime we have to eat you know in the meantime that you are building
(08:39):
your business. Right. So again you know I was I was
lucky I feel I feel I was very lucky. So So I'm starting that and
I'm building you know my business and building the audience and little by little
and for me really it's like, I so I I had the first
company then I closed the first one, I started on the second
one, closed that one, started the third one, but all the time to do the
(09:01):
same thing around, leadership, around business
coaching, around coaching and mentor mentorship. Of
course, the names change, but it was all almost all that all the time. But
at the beginning, it was more, like, working
on healing what was wrong. You know, you face something in life and
healing what was wrong, and I went into the path of that. I did it
(09:23):
that for myself, and I was doing that for my clients because they were asking
for that. And then at one point, I said, you know what? I can dig,
you know, there will always be something wrong and we can always find
something wrong. So I'm not going to do that anymore. So I
shifted, and I said, you know what? If I'm
able to go in the depths of what I could see in people
(09:44):
in clearing and healing, if we can say that word, I can do it I
can go in the same depth as expanding because I could
see it, you know, but at that time, I didn't know I could see in
Europe both. I could see what was wrong, But I said, okay. If I
can see what is wrong, I can see what is possible as well.
So I shifted, you know, and it's not only, you know,
(10:06):
positive thinking. It was not only that. It was really a mind
shift. That's why I said, you know, getting getting out of the victim mode,
which is we are all victim, you know. It's like I'm not pointing fingers.
We are all victim because we are put in that situation, you know,
in this mindset. And I said, okay. Let's switch and go
to the creation mode, which is more something where we can play
(10:29):
and let's switch that. So that's what I did and then suddenly,
you know, life is changing again because, you know, I'm
taking, you know, the nuggets and I'm doing something. I'm
that's something else I I want to say is that each time I
was told to do something, I did it one step. And
then the second step that I didn't know what it was showed up.
(10:52):
But, of course, my man wanted to know the 12 steps, you know, to
go to go all the way. Yeah. That is a very that's a a
nugget for people listening. You took just the first
step. You had enough information just for the first step, and you didn't worry about
it. And then the next step came and the next step, and you said you
did that each time. So that's a valuable lesson for people who are listening because,
(11:14):
like you say, we do tend to especially those of us who are high achieving
women, we want the whole plan laid out. We want the 12 steps, the two
years, the five years, the whole thing. Right. The five And so but you did
that with just that one step each time. So good
for you for doing that. Yeah. But I'm not I'm not going to lie to
the audience. The first the first company that I that I built, you know,
(11:35):
I was trying to find, you know, to build the the the the 12 steps.
But then each time that I was building and trying to build, you know, all
the steps, I could see that when I was finally taking the first one, the
second one was definitely not what the the one I was thinking it was going
to be. So I said, you know what? You never did that when you were
incorporate. You never did that when you were incorporate. You know what is going to
(11:56):
be my career, what I want to do, but I I did not, you know,
mean to go to Detroit. I didn't mean, you know, to to be, you know,
managing, you know, 100 millions dollars euros, but it's the same,
basically. And I said, you know what? It was shown to
me. So let's do the same, But it's not it's less easy when it's your
own business because, you know, you still want to eat at the end of
(12:16):
the day. But I said, you know, I have to faith to to to have
faith, which is hard, which is harder. But Yeah.
Actually, if you let intuition because usually we have good
intuition. Women, we have good intuition, but we don't listen to
them. And men, they have good intuition, but they listen to them.
You know why I I know the difference, you know, because when I speak with
(12:37):
I speak with a lot of leaders and a lot of men as well
because I work with men as well I don't work only with women but I
love both you know and they always send me of course I have
intuition of course when I'm in the shower something is coming up of course when
I'm going on the treadmill, I'm going for a run or playing golf or whatever.
Of course, I I have intuition, but they don't spread it around.
(12:58):
They don't say it. Oh. But they do have
them. Yeah. In your mind. You're right. And just giving
those examples, we probably people listening right now, we know, like, have
conversations with men that we know always this idea came in the
shower or, like, running or on the treadmill or Writing
or cooking. Yeah. It's just a good point. They don't
(13:20):
talk about it as intuition. Alright. But now that we're on the subject of
intuition, let's stay there for a minute. Now let's go back,
alright, to the beginning of this this idea that popped in your
mind. First, do the coach training, and then next,
it was going to be start the business. Now you
said that you kinda had this understanding and intuition. Is
(13:42):
that intuition something that you've had
since early days? Like, were you already in
the habit of recognizing that you had intuition and
then following it? But yes. It is. That's a great question
actually. At that time, I wouldn't call them intuition. Like I'm
going to give you a couple of example because I think that it could serve
(14:03):
the audience. When when I when I start I
decided to go to the engineer school, it was not you
know a desire from me. The way I did it is like everybody was doing
that. I said okay okay I'm going to do that as well. I wanted to
be a doctor actually you know I didn't want to be an engineer and then
you know life was not showing the path for doctors. My parents
(14:24):
didn't want to, it was kind of difficult, they said it's a long so many
years to study and I'm happy I didn't do it you know so I followed
you know the path of of you know my my friend
who were doing everybody was doing engineer okay I'm going to do
that and then you know after that I did the master degree but
it's not something I planned it's time that it was shown
(14:47):
on my way. So the way we want to see it is like is it
life putting that on your way? Is it an intuition that you have to do
that and life is putting that on your way? It's kind of you know both
ways. It's because something is telling you that's why I speak
about the higher self. I like to speak about the higher self
you know leadership. This is not the mind leadership. It's really something else
(15:08):
is guiding you And do you follow it or not?
Because whatever your higher self is telling you
is to put you, and I really trust what I'm going to say right now,
is to put you in the training zone
of what you have to bring to the community later
on, but you don't know when. So I've been
(15:31):
trained for me the the way I see that I follow the steps. Go to
Detroit, come back, go to Japan, go to Brazil. That's what my my
life. Okay. Don't you want to to do the the the sales position? Of course,
I want to do the sales position. Over each the time life was
showing me something, and I had the intuition to say
yes. But was it the intuition before that life
(15:52):
showing that that I can't say, but for me, it works.
It works, you know, together. It's because you
have something within you that we don't know what it is. It's telling
you something and then suddenly it's showing up. Like, when you have a friend, you
think about this one and then she calls. You know? You think
about, you know, I I would like to eat strawberries and, you know,
(16:15):
sure enough, you go to the market, strawberries are all around.
That's the way it is. So is it life showing you or is it your
intuition creating that? For me, it works both
ways. It works together because what is life is our
soul. It works together and this is what intuition. So I
don't know if I answered the question, but that's the way it works. It did.
(16:35):
It did. And I can relate to it very easily, but I'm imagining some people
don't. So I wanna speak for the people who it might be a little bit
more of a challenge. But like you and my friends tell me all the time.
I I always say, can you believe this? And it's always like this, you
know, super coincidence or this thing like what you're talking about. And they
say, yeah. That happens with you all the time. You know? They're always like now
(16:56):
it's old news. Like, yeah. That happens with you all the time. So I
understand what you're saying. However, I know there's some people who
may feel like that has that doesn't happen to me. It sounds like in the
way that it happened for you, and sometimes it happens for me. And you
make a distinction between life. You said it could be it's like
this balance of life and intuition. So now let's take the person who
(17:18):
like, well, I don't have a whole lot of that experience. When they say
when they think, well, is life life is that
just my circumstances guiding me? And what if there's a
circumstances that led them to maybe not the best thing
that happened to them, something that caused them pain or hurt? What do you say
to that? Yeah it's a great question actually for me
(17:40):
it's everybody first of all I want to say before I'm going to answer the
question that first of all everybody has intuition everybody has a soul
everybody can be guided by life Now do we listen to that
or not? That's a different question and of course our mind is on the way.
Of course our ego is on the way because we feel that our ego, our
mind knows better. I've been there you know so so I understand
(18:00):
that. So to answer this the question is like for me,
it's like, what are the circumstances? You know? What is the way I
see it, it is I am, you know, a movie star and
this is my movie. So what are the characters? You know? So today
you are a character in my movie because we are speaking. But my family is
our character, my friends are characters, my coworkers are characters you
(18:22):
know everybody who was who has have been or who are
still in my life are characters of my movie and what do they
tell me? What do they show me? I have a happy life you know with
nice friends or do I fight all the time with my friends?
Is it because of the friend or is it because of me? And for me
it's really see the circumstances and not judging
(18:43):
us that I created that. No. No. No. Don't go that
down that road. Come back. Come back here. It's not you who
created that. It's not to punish you, but it's just showing
you, maybe there is a misalignment there. Because Because
somebody nobody wants you not to be in a bad situation, but this is just
to tell you, watch out. You are on the wrong path.
(19:06):
It's like, you know, you are with Waze. You are right. You are on you
are on on on in the car, and then suddenly he was thinking,
make the first u-turn, make the first u-turn, make the first u-turn, and he keep
repeating that. What is it in our life? It's like life showing us, you
know, the same thing. One person, you know, this morning told me,
you know, that I was nice not nice. And this tonight my children told me
(19:28):
that I was not nice. And then, you know, my husband, you know, at night
told me that I was not nice. I said, oh, that's a lot of people
telling me that I'm not nice today. So what are the circumstances?
Not that I deserve any of them. Don't take don't
go down that road. No no no no no no because it's going
to be the victimhood so don't go there. Life is showing
(19:50):
you what is not aligned and sometimes, I'm sorry
but we have to say to say that, sometimes life is showing you that a
very hard way, very hard way. So I'm
very I'm very careful on what I'm saying and I'm I
feel very sorry for people who are going through a rough path.
But you know for me every rough path is because
(20:13):
there will be a wisdom out of it. You know how many people you know
they had, you know, this, you know, life and something happened and they
were, like, near to death and then they come back and they were
this best person who were able to know to, to explain something to
the world. So I'm not saying we deserve
anything that we are facing. I'm not saying that, but this is for me
(20:35):
really what we are trained to be better at. And
the more we overcome the situation that is
in your in your movie, the more we are prepared
for, you know, the next, the next version of us.
And some of us choose a very strong, very
difficult path. I I I we have to acknowledge that.
(20:57):
Yeah. Yeah. And I appreciate you for acknowledging that, you know, especially for
those who are going through those difficult times. Yeah. Alright. So now
let's that was intuition. Now let's talk about purpose. Yes. Do you feel like
you're living in your purpose now? Yes. Very much. Today I
can say 100% I was there but was not the case
all the time. Okay. So how did you get from out
(21:20):
of purpose to in your purpose? That's my shorthand way of saying it. You know,
there was a time in your life you said, no. I wasn't in purpose but
now I am. So how'd you get there? Let's let's refresh what I just
said. At the beginning beginning I did not know what was the purpose
and then after that I actually started
I want to say like six years ago when I thought okay
(21:42):
now I understand my life, but I
was all the time in the purpose because I was trained
to be what I am today. So let's give an example because we like
examples. So like I was always the one when I was
in my corporate positions, always the one to innovate,
always the one to work on the new big product, not, you know, the small
(22:04):
product, you know, not a penny, you know, the big, you know, car product, new
product that was never done. The one opening, you know, the business
unit in The US. The one stepping foot in
Japan where our company was not, you know, positioned. The one
going to Brazil and to work, you know, on this, you know, plant. Then
in healthcare, the one to open this new
(22:25):
facility where we are building new chemotherapy,
product which was not done in France. It was always in the hospital. Now we
did it outside of the hospital. It was always something new,
something new. And each time they would come and ask me even when I was
in the sales position it was to work with a client where there was this
big crisis. Nobody could get out of this crisis. It was
(22:48):
you know something that nobody never ever did. I come
in. Each time I'm there, you know, to solve issues,
to do innovation, to be trained for that, to
start over, to grow the team. And I say that
over and over and over and over again. I say, said, okay. There must be
something there. You know? So now
(23:11):
I'm here, you know, like six years ago, and I said, you know what? Let's
look again, you know, one more time. What was the path? What was the path?
What was the common thread? And then, you know, suddenly it
hits you, you know? But I was there, you know, to lead
myself in all of those situation to show that
we can, you know, become stronger because we've been in
(23:32):
those situation. So I'm leading myself. People would tell you, it's
easy for you to go and work in The US. I would like to do
the same. I said, but you just come within people if you want to.
And, obviously, you know, I understand. I have a family. I can't quit my family.
I said, bring your family. No. You know, my family doesn't want to move. I
said, but I didn't say that. I was I go.
(23:54):
No. Tell me I'm going. You know? I'm packing my my my stuff.
So for me, it's like kind of like the sense of purpose was really I'm
leading myself. I'm leading myself. You know, life is like the
box of chocolate, you know, in Forrest Gump. Life is a box of chocolate, and
you never know what you are going to get take it. But do are you
eating still the chocolate? Yes. I pick one, and I'm
(24:16):
eating it. And I lead myself whether I like it or not. Because
if I don't like it, it means I'm going to be become stronger out of
it. And if I like it like it, it means that, okay, I already have
the skills so I can just be more I'm better. Like, I can
master it. Yes. So that's what it is. And so I can
lead myself. I can and so I can help people to lead themselves.
(24:38):
But in doing what? Not to do necessarily the corporate drop, but
I don't, you know, I I don't judge the corporate drop. We need people for
everything. We need people for everything. So for me,
it's really to lead ourself to be the best
in our mission. And usually, what I what I like to
to, the way I like to explain it with is with the
(25:00):
orchestra. You know, in orchestra, you have, like, different musicians, different
people, you know, different instrument. So you have the violin, you have the
guitar, you have the bass, you have whatever, you know, the flute.
Everybody is supposed to play their instrument and their
note. And if someone is not doing that, it's what we call the
chaos. But if everybody doing their note with their
(25:22):
instrument, which they are good at, then
it's a nice harmony. And that's what I want help to
help people with. It's like lead yourself not to copy
whatever your neighbor, your co worker, your your spouse or your friend is
doing. No no no no. Stop copying. We have to stop copying.
(25:42):
We have to do what is, you know, within us. What
is it within us that we are good at and that we want
to master because if we master it, we can bring it to the world as
a service. That's right. Right. And I agree wholeheartedly.
I mean, I say the same thing. We, you know, we we already knew we
were on the same wavelength about that. But, you know, one thing I wanna point
(26:04):
out that you're gifted at that you you kinda went over very
quickly that might not come easily to everybody else or some other
people, maybe to some and not to some others. You stopped
at these different intervals in your life and work and said, let me
look and see what's happening here. And you looked at what you were
doing. Then after you looked at what you were doing, let's call that
(26:26):
reflection, did some reflection, some introspection, and said, look, these
are patterns. This has been happening all along. You were expressing
those parts of yourself in corporate before you went on to
the business and then develop the business around those same,
gifts, strengths, you know, natural abilities that you have. So
(26:46):
but you had the the either the the gift or the
wherewithal or experience to look at, stop, and do
the reflection. So I'm saying that for people who listening, who are listening,
sometimes when we say reflection or stop, it seems like, oh, I
don't have time to think about myself. I'm busy. Or you know
what's the point of that but there really is value in that and your
(27:08):
your story is an example of that. And I well, I am
100%, I mean I 100% agree with you you know
why because it's in the pause that something is
happening. And you know why? I'm going I want to explain that for the audience
to make it clear why it's in the pause. It's like for me, and
and you're right, I've been doing a lot of reflection and a lot of
(27:30):
complete contemplation. It's part of my soul care, you know. I reflect
on everything that happened, you know, every day if I if I have time.
If I don't have time, like, tonight is going to be late, so probably I
won't do it tonight, but definitely tomorrow or at the end of the week, you
know, I always say to my family and to everybody, okay. I need two hours,
you know, like, you don't speak to me, no phone because I want to have
(27:50):
time to reflect, you know, to contemplate. Yes. So that's the
first thing. The second thing is, like, yes. What is in the pause? When we
are in the pause, what is it? Does it mean? It means
that there is nothing in the pose there is nothing. It's like when you
play music like we were speaking about music in between the notes there is
nothing you know there is the this emptiness and because
(28:12):
there is the emptiness there is the pause then something else
something else can happen something else can drop. If we
are always full full full full like a glass of water if the water is
always full in the glass there is no more room you know for another drop.
In the pause it's when we bring
(28:33):
space for something else to arrive,
to land, and then we can do something with
it. You know we can have a full day you know, we women
we are good at that you know from eight eight, six from
six to nine, we can be busy every single minute doing a
lot of things. But I think the more we
(28:56):
are going to learn to pause and it's only can be only five minutes. It
can be only a breathe. I'm going to to breathe just right now. I have
so many things to do. Okay. Just stop, breathe,
and go. That's take few seconds, you know?
And because we do that, then we we bring the space.
So if we don't like the word spouser, which we might not
(29:18):
like, I want to offer the community another word, which
is space. If you don't like the how can
you have space? Like, when you're full, you ate, you know, a full meal.
You you don't want dessert when you had have a full meal.
But can how can I leave room for dessert? So what do I
do? I eat a little bit less of the steak or the the fish or
(29:40):
whatever, vegetarian, whatever we eat, you know. So I don't, you know,
I don't, you know, eat the full dish. I'm saving
space for dessert. Do we say that? Yes. We say
that. So it's the same, you know, for that. How can
I bring space? If we don't like both, think
space. Like that because you're they kinda go
(30:01):
together. We talked about the reflection, and you're talking about
pause, but that brings the space, and you can't
have one without the other. But the pause is something you can
do, like you said, just five minutes. You just have a short amount of time
and you don't have the two hours, like, you can give yourself for reflection. Have
a a routine, I would say. Get in the habit of having that
(30:23):
pause and opening up that space so you can come in to your
to your own thoughts. I mean Which is very much the feminine energy and
when we think about Mhmm. Because masculine is doing and feminine
is not it's like we we we feel being is doing
nothing. Actually, we are not doing nothing. We are receiving
something else. Yes. And I think it's time to that we've rephrased
(30:46):
all those words as well because we feel that we if I'm in the feminine
I'm doing nothing. That's not that's wrong women. That's wrong. Actually, you are
doing a lot. You are receiving the new creation. You are receiving the new
the new seed. You are receiving everything else that is going to change our
life. I agree. I agree wholeheartedly. I mean, you've
given us so much to think about and what I'm calling them nuggets,
(31:08):
you know, like treasures. Right? But let me just ask you the question
so people can get it explicitly. Alright. So then you've been listening to the
podcast. So you know it's for high achieving women. And she's at a point where
she's like, there's something missing. I'm looking for more
purpose and meaning. I have all the things success, check the
boxes, promotion, but something is missing. Now you
(31:31):
gave us some tools already, but what's something else you could give
to her as she's listening now in her quest
for having more fulfillment in her life through purpose and meaning? Yeah. I
know this is your one of your signature questions and I love this question and,
I was eager for you to ask me this question.
For me, it's like find in everything that
(31:53):
you are doing for work or whatever in your position. Find
the one or the two things that you like. Take a step
with those skills that you like. You like to do that and you're happy doing
that. Take a step toward how you can bring a little
bit more of that in your business, in your life, in your
journey, whatever. Find what you are good at, what you like to do, and
(32:16):
do a first step in the direction of this is going to be more of
what I'm going to do every day. Then the second step is
going to to show up. Really, that's what I I I I
I I I like, I like to say. And little by
little, you will see that what we are good at and that we are
going, you know, to more master and master even more, that's how we serve
(32:38):
the world at the end of the day. Yes. But we are good at it.
That's as good as that. I'm with you 100 on
that. I'm with you 100%, and I think that's a
wonderful, advice for somebody to get started right right
away. And it's kind of fun to think about what you're good at because it
makes you feel good when you think about it and even when you do it.
(33:00):
So that's wonderful. Alright. So like we said before before we started
recording, we could talk all day, but I know it's it's it's has
bedtime for you or near bedtime depending on what time you go to
bed. So, before before you
lead to go on to the rest of your evening, tell people how they can
be in touch with you if they wanna hear more about you and your work
(33:21):
and what you're doing. So the best way is to go my website,
which is ellips.US.com. And from
there, they can find my social media. They can have, freebies. They can
have, you know, leadership assessment. They can have activations for
free. They can contact me from there. Everything is
there. They can find me they can find my podcast as well, which is really
(33:44):
around leadership. And you are on the on the purpose with
leadership. I'm pretty much on how do you we do do we beat everything that
I just said, you know, from there. So there is a podcast as well. So
that means everything is there. Otherwise, you can find me on social media as well,
and and it's easy. Where do they find you on social media?
Yes. On LinkedIn or Instagram. It's always the same name,
(34:06):
but the best way is really my my website
ellips.US.com. Alright. And I'll spell the website
because somebody's like in the car right now, and they're like, wait. I wanna write
it down.
Ellips.US.com.
Yes. Ellips.US.com. And
you can find Valerie there. Valerie, it's been a delight as we knew it was
(34:29):
gonna be. I really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you for being here at
the very end of your night all the way from Paris, France.
Really appreciate you for sharing your wisdom and your growth and your
purpose journey. Appreciate you. Thank you, Robin. Just last
one last phrase. What I want to say to the audience to to finish to
conclude, all bad things come to an end as
(34:51):
well. Yeah. Because we always see all good things come to an end, and
I want to change the mindset and leave the audience with that. All
bad things come to an end as well. All
bad things come to an end is true. We've lived through them. Right? We're still
here, and they're over. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you for for Thank you.
Popping that last nugget. You couldn't let it go. It's like, I got one more
(35:13):
thing. I can't wait for it to say.
Thank you so much, Romy. Thank you, Valerie, for being here. And I
for everyone, I'd love to hear your response to the any moment you
have from our conversation or any any thought you
have. And if you want more from me, head over to the
podcast website,
(35:33):
leadershippurposepodcast.com. Leadership
purpose podcast Com, and you can get more from me.
And I'd love to have you connect with me on LinkedIn. Just
connect or follow, there. I'm at Robin L.
Owens PhD, Robin L. Owens PhD, as well on the other
socials. But I spend most of my time on LinkedIn. I'd love to hear from
(35:55):
you. And we'll have some more resources for you on the website.
And until next time, this is Doctor.
Robin. Thank you for tuning into this episode of the
Leadership Purpose with Dr. Robin podcast. If you
enjoyed it, head on over and rate and subscribe
so you never miss an episode. New episodes drop
(36:17):
every week, and I can't wait to hang out with you again
soon. Meanwhile, this is Dr.
Robin signing off. See you next
time.
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