April 5, 2025 • 34 mins
In this episode, Dr. Diane, Celeste, and Danielle explore body image, pleasure, and sexual health. They discuss touch sensations, vaginism, and disinterest in sex. A libido quiz sparks a conversation on body image and healing. The episode emphasizes internal body awareness, pleasure as a birthright, and understanding vaginal numbness. They highlight non-penetrative sex and the journey to heal body image issues through erotic embodiment classes. The episode concludes with insights into working with Danielle and Celeste and an invitation to join the Libido Club.
Want to listen to part two of this episode: Make sure you join us at the Hot and Modern Monogamy Club for exclusive access: MyLibidoDoc.com/Club
🔥 Take their class to get better insight into your turn ons, turn offs and how to communicate with your partner: https://learn.somatica.com/link/nryY5m?url=https%3A%2F%2
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
If you stroke my arm, like, I can feel that inmy in a way that if you touch my right away,
(00:06):
nothing's gonna happen.
In fact, the opposite is gonna happen.
We take a couple of deep breaths And release.
And then we've switched our point of view fromthe outside to the inside.
(00:26):
Beautiful.
I'm Celeste.
And I'm Danielle.
And we're the founders of the SomaticaInstitute.
And the creators of the Somatica Method of sexand relationship coaching.
We created the Somatica Method because we knowthat intimacy is at the heart of human longing
and fulfillment.
(00:49):
I see couples thinking, well, I have all thesethings to do.
Sex is trivial, and it doesn't matter, and I'lljust put it on the back burner, and I don't
really need it anyway.
And then you see them drift apart.
I think many times, especially women, don'twanna have sex because and you call it
vaginism.
So, like, you know, lack of interest, like,they don't feel that level of arousal, mostly
(01:10):
because they're actually not getting, well,there are a few reasons.
One is it reduces motivation for sex if youdon't get what really turns you on.
Where is kind of the beginning part of theroadmap of of really healing the, you know,
from a, say, body image imbalance here?
Takes practice the same way that we practicedunconsciously.
(01:31):
People often think of it as passive, and wereally teach active receiving.
Okay?
Active receiving is where you you aren't just,like, laying there, like, hoping something will
happen.
I remember I was trying to help a woman orgasmfor the first time, and I was just like I was
like, okay.
So how would you start?
You know, she had her clothes on andeverything, but she was just, like, touching
(01:52):
her body.
And she's just lying there, and she's like,yeah.
I feel bored.
And I'm like, yeah.
I would be bored too.
Sometimes the only thing that makes me cum is,like, both the the because I'm making them and
the in my that I make because I'm activelygoing towards them.
I'm going towards them.
So it's not gonna be like an overnight ofunworking it, but I do think that the place to
(02:16):
start
Before we jump into today's episode, I wannamake sure that you know about my libido quiz at
libidoquiz.com.
This is a free quiz I developed to help youidentify missing root causes of low libido.
(02:37):
When you take this quiz, you will be thengiven, you'll be sent information specific to
your quiz answers, including the top tasks thatmay help diagnose and figure out why you have
low libido that your doctor may not be orderingfor you, as well as additional tips and tricks
to support healthy libido, desire, intimacy,and so much more.
(03:02):
So you can find that at libidoquiz.com.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode ofthe Libido Lounge.
I'm your host, libido expert, doctor Diane, andwe have a juicy episode here today for you.
We're talking about body image, sensuality, howyour body image can impact your sensuality, how
(03:26):
sensuality can actually heal, help you healfrom any body image imbalances or mental, you
know, thoughts you have that are not servingyou in this way.
And to help us have this conversation, I'mvery, very excited about our guests you just
heard about the Celeste and doctor Danielle.
So as you just heard, they're the thecofounders of the Somatica Institute.
(03:50):
And we're gonna get really juicy today and talkabout these things that I think are so common.
Right?
So common, especially for women, but I thinkfor men both.
And and so let's just start ladies, if we can.
Let's just start with why the heck are we in atthis point?
(04:10):
We're in 2025.
Right?
We're at a point where this is not the firsttime that anybody has heard that, you know, we
have to love our bodies and be kind to ourbodies and all these things.
Right?
So why are we still in 2025 at a point wherethis is such a struggle for so many of us?
(04:33):
Yeah.
I feel like we still get so many messages outthere.
Imagery, you know, messages saying, like, youhave to look this way and you have to look
young forever and you have to your body has tobe a particular shape and size and weight for
you deserve any sort of joy and pleasure.
So we're bomb we're bombarded, which is why itstill happens.
And we need to be able to create like aninternal sense of self and pleasure, in order
(04:56):
to like, you know, stave off all of thoseconstant messages that we get and to actually
just realize that we can claim our pleasureright now, and we don't have to be perfect or
feel perfect in order to do that.
Now I know some of
our listeners might be thinking like, okay,like, I hear that and I've worked on, you know,
(05:16):
I've worked on my body image and I work onopening a magazine and, you know, not comparing
myself to that woman in the magazine and allthese different things.
What about though, do you guys feel thatthere's still a level for many of us that
there's almost like this subconscious thing,where we we think we've done a level of work
around like, okay, I'm not gonna identify withthat girl in the photo who's been airbrushed
(05:40):
and photoshopped and all the things.
But you think that we can have then thisalmost, like, deeper level of, wow.
Like, I didn't realize I had a body image issueuntil somebody put their hand on my thigh, and
I cringed, you know.
How much of this is like happening consciouslyversus subconsciously, I guess is my question.
(06:02):
Yeah.
So I think it happens both ways.
It happens consciously and subconsciously andthere's a little bit of a way of like we are
trying to work on that in a cognitive way.
I think that's not helpful.
It's not helpful enough.
I think like it's one thing to start to compareyourself to magazines and get and see different
imagery, which is super important.
(06:22):
It is very important to relate to differentkinds of bodies because then you can find
yourself in those bodies as opposed to just onekind of body.
But the imagery is not getting much, muchbetter.
It's still kind of like the same with maybehere and there, there are fringe options.
But I think the real thing that can help helphelped me and can help other people is to start
(06:45):
to develop like an inner experience of yourbody that's not just about the look.
We're not like clothes hangers that walkingaround is supposed to look in particular way,
but it's more like wow like maybe I'm gonnalook at my body as something that feels and
experiences and have sensations and reallyenjoy things and not just like the way that I
(07:06):
and then start to apply it to the look, likelike kind of like developing a look from the
inside from sensations as opposed to developinga look from the outside.
So I wanna go into that a little more.
One of the things I said when we were, youknow, just chatting for a few before we started
recording here, is that this this concept thatI see in my work of, wow, people try to be
(07:30):
intimate, and we can't experience so many timesorgasm or pleasure of any kind.
If we're worried around like, well, how do Ilook in this position?
Or is my belly hanging out here?
Do my thighs look big?
And, you know, it's really, really difficult,if not actually completely impossible, to enjoy
pleasure if we're worried about all this.
(07:50):
And I hear in what you're saying some level ofwe need to get out of our just as, like, kind
of trying to heal this just with, like, themind and thinking, okay, well, I'm not gonna
compare myself to the image.
It sounds like the the process that is movingmore into the body and the experience.
So am I hearing you correctly?
And if so, can you explain that
(08:12):
a little more?
I wanna do one better than explain it.
I want us all I want us all to try it rightnow.
Oh, even better.
That is better for sure.
So so I feel like it's so easy to sort of feelourselves.
Like, we we're looking around all the time.
We're in this external world, we're getting allof this input.
And then we can also switch to our internalworld, and we can actually do it pretty quickly
(08:33):
and efficiently.
So I want us to do it right now.
Here's how it goes.
We take a couple of deep breaths.
And we start to feel our pussy.
Just notice your pussy is there, part of yourbody.
(08:59):
I almost wanna feel it, like like, and relaxedand softened to the world first as we continue
to breathe.
And then on the next breath, we're gonna take alittle hello squeeze.
Squeeze the muscles as you breathe.
(09:21):
And see if you can feel the pleasure of thesensation and then release.
And another squeeze and focus on pleasure.
Imagine it flowing from there through yourbody.
And release.
And one more, just wake up.
(09:43):
Hello.
I feel myself on the inside.
And release.
And then we've switched our point of view fromthe outside to the inside.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
I, I love the activity so much.
(10:03):
I feel compelled to bring up something thatsome of my listeners have heard me say before,
which is when I when I snowboard, I sometimesdo this activity with one of my girlfriends
where we snowboard with our pussy leading.
So I'll be like, so that's kind it's kind of,like, exactly what you're talking about the
exercise of saying, okay.
Well, on this run, dropping first into feelingher.
(10:25):
Right?
And then imagining that the movement, thatevery turn, that the that connection is
actually coming from that as kind of the focalpoint.
So, this just brings me to my question, whichis like, okay.
So taking what you did, do you teach and do youfocus on ways where it's like, okay, outside of
almost as meditative visual state, can we beginto have these experiences like that and bring
(10:51):
it in more to, like, washing the dishes andshowing up at work?
And, you know, how does this work from, like, aday to day incorporating, leading from feeling
my body type of way?
Definitely.
And, you know, we call itdecompartmentalization of sexuality because it
is, you know, like we think that sex is justthis thing we keep for the bedroom, but like,
(11:13):
let her let's have like a pussy be our guide,our like, you know, like compass.
You know, like she is leading me about like,oh, what do I feel wearing today?
Or how do, you know, like, do I wanna move mybody?
Or what do I feel like eating?
Or how do I you know, like, she is like she'smy you know, I move from my pussy the same way
(11:38):
that you describe the snowboarding.
Right?
So I really think it's like the way we absorbour body image is just a habit.
Know, we heard about it.
We heard we drill, drill, drill.
So we need to undrill it and start putting insome new practices that will allow us to
connect with our body and with our experienceof ourselves in a different way.
(12:00):
I love it.
I love it.
And then so my other question is in thinkingabout the, you know, kind of the science behind
this.
I'm a I'm a scientist at heart, really, becauseI really find that when people understand some
of, like, why this is happening, sometimes ifthere's, like, a little resistance to, like,
okay, this is interesting.
Leave with my pussy.
(12:21):
Drop into my pussy.
Feel my pussy.
Like, all those, sometimes they can be like,what is this gonna do?
Right?
So can you explain, like, kind of, like, almostfrom the the mechanism perspective, like, how
dropping and feeling into our bodies, into ouranatomy, into our, you know, our pleasure
centers, how that is then connected torepairing, you know, the body image.
(12:47):
I do feel like so much of it is about ourhormones, like the hormones that get released
when we're in high states of pleasure, whenwe're having orgasm, when we're squeezing those
muscles and feeling the sensations move throughour body.
We're like releasing endorphins and oxytocin.
We're doing it with ourselves, and we're lovingourselves more when we come from that inside
place and that embodied sensation based place.
(13:09):
And we're doing it with our partners when wecreate this loop of pleasure between us.
Right?
Then we're having all of the sensation andpleasure that we can share and the feedback.
And I think one of the things that I reallywant to say, you know, is a lot of times we
feel like we have to do these things all byourselves.
But I think it's great to like really get thefeedback of other people, like helping us raise
(13:32):
those hormonal levels and giving us pleasureand taking in how much they desire us instead
of like oh is do I look good do I look goodit's just like wait I see desire coming at me
from all over the place I must look amazing Andall and that loop actually releases those
hormones as well.
So that combination just for me it just is whatit's what balances my brain.
(13:53):
It's what makes me you know live to fightanother day.
It's really It's really those that hormonallevel keeping that high by being connected to
our bodies.
And just again to keep reinforcing what Silassaid like in letting like allowing and like
keep reinforcing this lending strip in our bodythat says, like, yes.
(14:17):
That feels good.
Yes.
I can take it in.
Because what do we see?
What do we tell?
Like, let's think about, like, the averageperson.
Like, you know, like, when we are hearing acompliment, we're just like, oh, no.
They didn't really hear it.
Oh, thank you.
But not really letting it in.
And I was like, I wanna I'm like, yeah.
I wanna get it in.
I wanna take it in.
I'm building my lending strip to be lusciousand open and available and say it's almost like
(14:41):
we learned we're not supposed to take it in andwe're supposed to be miserable in some way.
And I was like, let's be greedy.
Let's take it in.
Let's show ourselves as this good complimentsand positive sensation because who said we have
to like buy into the other story?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's the the art of receptivity is like,it's so crazy to me sometimes how hard it is to
(15:09):
literally just be okay with just being in thereceiving.
You know, it's it's so easy to receive acompliment superficially, like you're saying,
and then just, like, instantly be like, oh, andthen, like, give a compliment back.
And that's, you know, it's great.
It's great to be, you know, reciprocal thatway.
But I think so often, we're, like, we're justso quick to kinda get out of that state of rest
(15:31):
receptivity versus, like, taking that moment tobe like, wow.
Yeah.
That feels really, really good and actuallycompletely allow that energy in before we move
into whatever, you know, whatever else we'removing into.
I know one of the things that that you ladiestalk about is this concept of pleasure being a
birthright.
(15:51):
And I know in talking to people, like,sometimes it's so easy for people to just be
like, well, I'm not that interested in sex.
That's just not what my partner and I do.
It was great in the beginning.
It went away.
We're fine now.
And, you know, what do you have to say to thatin in response to also this this idea around,
this is a birthright.
(16:11):
This is healing.
This is everything that you've said.
So so why is pleasure a birthright, and why doyou think we, like, deny it so often?
In our culture, what we really have is a workethic.
We think the only thing that makes us valuableis these sort of, like, particular external
achievements.
And, you know, I believe in a pleasure ethic,and it's really, I think, what makes life more
(16:32):
joyful and interesting and exciting and fun.
I think we'll still get plenty of work done,especially if we're having much more fun doing
it.
So, you know, to really go into that birthrightmeans to let go of some of this idea that the
only thing that gives us value is sort of,like, this kind of productivity.
I think a lot of times I see couples thinking,well, I have all these things to do.
(16:53):
Sex is trivial, and it doesn't matter, and I'lljust put it on the back burner, and I don't
really need it anyway.
And then you see them drift apart.
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Because there's none of this exchange of, youknow, connection and intimacy and hormonal
balance and and all of those nice sticky,hormones and connections that we that we really
need to keep that.
(17:58):
But the work ethic gets in the way of thisbirthright and this pleasure ethic.
And, and I think we would get so much more doneif we really focused on how enjoyable the the
moments of sensation and and playfulness andfun are.
I agree.
I agree.
I, I do a lot from a work perspective withsetting goals and that sort of thing, but
(18:22):
within the context of, like, anytime I set workgoals, I also set pleasure goals.
And my friends know this enough that they'llcheck-in and be like, how are your pleasure
goals being?
How are they going?
Right?
Because I find the same thing.
It's like when we can get into that space andwe can create from that space, I'm getting work
done.
It's like, we all get work done.
That's just that's who most of us are.
(18:44):
It's like gonna be part of our lives.
Right?
But to have pleasure as a huge component of it,I think is a, you know, it's a really
important, piece of this.
So what about things like numbness?
Like, you know, because I do see that thatvaginal numbness is a very fairly common thing,
(19:04):
sometimes from trauma, sometimes from hormones,sometimes just with aging, sometimes from lack
of interest.
There's so many different reasons for this.
So where does your work come in with helpingpeople heal from any sort of vaginal numbness?
Yeah.
And I think I think many times, especiallywomen don't want to have sex because and you
call it vaginal numbness.
(19:25):
So like, you know, lack of interest, like theydon't feel that level of arousal mostly because
they're actually not getting well, there are afew reasons.
One is that they're not getting the sex thatthey want.
They're getting like some sex that doesn't meanthat that's what turns them on.
And they're not like because we're trained thatsex is not for us in, you know, in societally.
(19:46):
So we don't go on an exploration of pleasurefor ourselves.
We do it to satisfy our partners.
So that creates like, you know, a lack oflibido is just around the corner.
I'm not talking about hormones.
Hormones have their own issue that I thinkdeserves some, you know, special mention.
But definitely people are not even like, youknow, like we're eating from a kidney meal.
(20:09):
We're not eating for the full potential gourmetFrench meal that we can get.
So it reduces motivation for sex if you don'tget what really turns you on.
So then, okay.
So another question that I have for you ladiesis, so we're doing an exercise like this
somatic exercise we just did.
(20:31):
Right?
And that was around our pussy.
But in waking up the whole body, right?
Because I think so many times too, one of theproblems we get into with intimacy and sex is
we are just thinking penetration.
And when I ask people, when I have, like, teachlive classes and I ask people, like, when I say
sex, what's the first thing that comes to mind?
(20:51):
It's always intercourse, penetration, andintercourse, penetration.
Right?
That's what everybody thinks of.
And, you know, sex for a lot of us is, like, somuch more than just this this penetrative type
of act.
It's a pleasure filled event of so manydifferent of waking up ourselves in so many
different ways.
So what's, like, the process you guys takepeople through around, like, oh, wow.
(21:15):
Maybe we're gonna get out of just thinkingabout sex from a standpoint of penetrative only
and and really begin to experience pleasurefrom, like, a multifactorial, you know,
multicellular type of way.
I do feel like we don't, we don't teach peopleabout women's bodies and the ways that our
(21:36):
bodies need a lot of all over body touch andwarm up.
I know when I'm with a new partner so quickly,I feel them trying to go to my genitals and
touch them right away.
And when they do that, I'm just like, there'snothing happen.
If we wanna talk about numbness, like, she'snot awake.
I'm like, you kiss my ear if you stroke my arm.
Like, I can feel that in my clitoris in a waythat if you touch my clitoris right away,
(22:00):
nothing's gonna happen.
In fact, the opposite is gonna happen.
And so it is really, about educating ourpartners.
And also, I think as women, what we don'trealize is that our arousal curve does take
longer.
We we need more warm up time.
I think everybody does well with more warm uptime, but we really need it in order to get to
the heights of our pleasure, whether we'rehaving intercourse or oral sex or none of the
(22:23):
above, manual, playing with our vibrators.
But to take the time to really feel and touchand smell and, like, all over body touch and
kissing.
And and and also, I think a lot of times womenfeel like, I'm supposed to be giving back right
away.
I really teach my female clients to focus ontheir sensation first, get connected to their
(22:44):
pussy, touch their own body while their partneris touching their body.
It's like, let's team effort this.
You know?
Because because I know that my partners want toget me to my highest level of arousal.
And if I'm worried about them right away,that's not gonna happen.
And so there is this focusing, this self focusthat needs to happen that I think a lot of us
feel guilty or bad or, like, we're supposed toget turned on faster than we are.
(23:07):
And there's a lot of pressure around that.
So slowing down and focusing on self is soimportant.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that to me just goes back tothe concept of rest you know, receiving that we
were talking about around.
Okay.
Even when we are being touched sensually, it'slike really allowing to feel that before we
quickly move into, okay, now I gotta give youpleasure too.
(23:29):
And and you're right.
I think we do so easily just jump so fast andand ignore that.
So so where do people start?
Right?
If I if the the, say, block is around somethinglike body image, and if people are experiencing
that they go into a sensual experience andthey're either in their head around, like,
(23:53):
being touched or how they look or they're liketheir, you know, hand touches an area of their
body, they feel trepidation around, and theyfeel themselves, like, pull back and almost,
like, have this inability to receive.
Do they go straight to an exercise like youtaught us?
Like, where is kind of the the beginning partof the road map of of really healing the you
(24:15):
know, from a, say, a body image imbalance here.
Yes.
I wanna say that it definitely, you know, likeit's been years of us, like, working with that,
you know.
I mean, like, it's like we get those messagesreally early on.
So it's not gonna be like an overnight ofunworking it.
But I do think that the place to start isreally we created two special classes.
(24:39):
I just wanna say, you know, like, one is reallyabout erotic embodiment and the other one is
about body image.
And I think this combination of those classeswhere you kind of go and practice.
It takes practice the same way that wepracticed unconsciously taking the negative
messages.
We want to practice consciously creating apositive loop in our nervous system.
(25:03):
That's kinda it's also like that's the way itworks on the nervous system level.
Right?
We are retraining a body to enjoy pleasure inevery level in the embodiment class.
Have like so many ways to take in pleasure andto bring it all the way down to your pelvic
floor and how to like keep building andreinforcing those circuits in the body.
(25:25):
And then like in the body image class, we talka lot about like how to, you know, like re
create a lending strip, how to put boundarieswhen people tell you stuff that you don't wanna
hear and like really like how to start enjoyingyourself, how to face the mirror and love what
you are seeing there because it's coming fromthis place of like my my body's superpower, and
(25:48):
not just like, I'm just like this this thingthat like I'm not matching exactly what the
journals or the, you know, tells me I'msupposed to look like.
Can I add something also?
Which is this idea of receiving.
I think people often think of it as passive,and we really teach active receiving.
(26:08):
Okay?
Active receiving is where you aren't just likelaying there, like, hoping something will
happen.
I remember I was trying to help a woman orgasmfor the first time, and I was just like I was
like, okay.
So how would you start?
You know, she had her clothes on andeverything, but she was just, like, touching
her body, and she's just lying there.
And she's like, yeah.
I feel bored.
And I'm like, yeah.
I would be bored too.
(26:28):
You know?
Like, nothing's happening.
And so I was like, here's what it looks likewhen I masturbate.
And I start, like, squeezing my muscles andmoving my legs and breathing and, like,
touching my body and making sound.
And, like, this is not a passive process.
This is like we've gotta go towards thepleasure.
We've gotta make sound.
Like, sometimes the only thing that makes mecome is, like, both the noise, the the
(26:51):
experience of making a noise, and hearing mynoises that I'm making because I'm actively
going towards pleasure sounds.
I'm going towards pleasure movements.
So I really want people to start to thinkabout, like, receiving as an active process.
Even when I touch people, I'm touching for mypleasure.
Like, I'm feeling the flesh to turn me on.
You know?
(27:11):
So that's something that I like to teach, womento do.
Yeah.
And then it's also like sorry.
I'm labeling, like, off, like, hitting off eachother here.
And then also it creates a much more motivationfor a partner to keep giving us because then it
creates this, like, flow of erotic energybetween us.
So, like, we are responding to their touch.
(27:32):
So they are more motivated to give us moretouch.
So it's kind of like self reinforcing andmutually reinforcing.
Well, you guys are really setting me up for thenext question that I wanted to ask you anyway.
So this is a perfect lead in.
So thank you.
And I and I agree.
It's like when we're talking about like thatactive pleasure or active receiving versus
passive receiving.
(27:52):
It's not like we're laying there like a, youknow, like in corpse pose or, you know,
Shavasana just kind of like spacing out.
Right?
There's so much more happening to that.
My question here is this is, and I'll give youa little backstory around I was healing from a
relationship many years ago when I went to atherapist.
I had said something to this therapist around.
(28:14):
Was like, well, you know, I want to make surethat I am, like, totally healed from this
relationship before I start dating again.
And the therapist had told me something thatnobody ever told me before that, but I thought
was profound.
And and she's like, in order to heal from arelational thing, you do that in relationship.
(28:34):
And so and it was very interesting to, like,take that into my next partner and to just
really be like, oh, yeah.
If I get triggered in this partnership basedupon my past, like, now it's bringing up this
moment for me to actually heal that I couldn'thave healed because I wasn't having those
triggers come up that I didn't recognize.
Right?
(28:55):
So my question for you kinda comes from thatand thinking about this from, like, a, you
know, healing body image and learning how to bereceptive and all of this.
Like, how much of this work do you think thenfrom a, you know, somatic experiences work that
we can do alone versus, like, hey, we reallyneed to have this partner here to help us, you
(29:16):
know, heal?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think
Our whole method is basically based on thatbelief system.
Like, we we work with our clients and we trainour coaches.
We teach them how to be relational And, youknow, and we do go into erotic and emotional
intimacy with our clients within the boundariesof the method.
(29:37):
And we do that as a way to actually, like,maybe touch on some of those triggers and they
become activated in the relationship.
And then we can work on them in a very safecontainer where the focus is the work because
sometimes you're not totally ready to bring itto a partner.
You're too scared or you're too wounded, butyou do need a place where you can practice
inauthentic intimacy to create that safe, wecall it the relationship lab.
(30:01):
And nothing is perfectly safe, right?
But it's like safe, a safer space where some ofthose feelings can come up and you can process
them with somebody who's really present andconnected with you.
Yeah, and just to add to that, like you can't,you can't heal body image just with your own,
you know, because then you go out, you need tocreate some sort of like immunity.
(30:21):
You need to create experiences that you'regoing out because you can tell yourself so many
things that which is amazing.
You keep do telling yourself all the goodthings in front of mirror.
That's fantastic.
But then, like, it's also like go out there andthen first learn to listen to the good stuff
that people tell you and take it in.
And then, like, keep asking people to tell yougood stuff.
Like why just ask people for criticisms?
(30:43):
Yeah, yeah, tell me more.
What do you like about me?
Yeah, yeah, I wanna hear more.
You don't really take it in, you know.
It's okay to tell people if you have somethingbad to say, don't tell me.
I just want to hear the good stuff that youhave to tell me.
So yeah.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
I think it's really beautiful because I thinkso many times we're in this world of trying to
(31:04):
heal ourselves and it's so isolating and alone.
And a lot of the times, it doesn't work to doit that way anyways.
So we don't have to be alone in this.
Yeah.
Remember the first time a partner ever said, Ilove your thighs.
And I have to tell you, like, I grew up in atime when thighs, you weren't supposed to have
them at all.
They weren't even supposed to touch each other.
And I have these very round, luscious thighs.
(31:25):
And he said, I love your legs so much.
And I was like, what?
You love my legs?
And it was really healing, that moment for me.
And I was like, oh, I started to fall in lovewith them too.
And so it's like sometimes we can do it inourselves and sometimes we really need that
positive reinforcement to remind us, you know,how gorgeous and sexy we are.
And so often with our lovers, they're not likepicking those little things apart.
(31:49):
They're just like, you're hot.
I want you.
You know?
I was like, yes.
Yes.
More.
More.
More.
Totally right.
Totally right.
Well, I can't believe we're already at the topof our time.
This went so fast, ladies.
I know we're gonna put in the show notes how towork with you guys, how to get involved if you
are if people are interested in learning yourmethodology as healers, as people that would
(32:13):
actually like to bring this work to others, aswell as if they are interested in working with
you guys more on just people that want to learnyour methodology right in their own lives.
But tell us a little bit, like, just kinda whatyou package that up nicely for us around, like,
how people work with you and and of coursewe'll put everything in the show notes for for
everybody.
Wonderful.
So we have our platform learn.somatica.com.
(32:37):
This is where you can get classes and reallykind of practice with yourself.
We have an app for that and you can reallykinda learn and everything is experiential.
So while it is like a self learning process,you definitely have practices.
This is a little bit like Celeste demonstratedearlier and way in more and more and more
opportunities for you to practice tools tostart to love your body and engage in your
(33:02):
sexuality and feeling very driven around that.
And we have the somaticainstitute.com.
This is where you can explore about thepotentially being a coach and support others on
this journey as well.
Amazing.
And thank you so much for being here.
Everybody remember that I will be doing parttwo in our libido club.
(33:24):
So please do come over and check that out.
How you join us in the show notes below.
Then ask a lot more juicy questions such aswhat are the steps that we need to do to really
be transformed here?
How do we really begin to learn our pleasurebody?
Where do we start?
So much more.
Alright, everybody.
That's it for today.
(33:44):
Thank you again for joining me on the lounge,and we'll see you again real soon.
Ciao for now.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Diane.
You for listening to the Libido Lounge.
Please don't keep me a secret.
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
If you stroke my arm, like, I can feel that inmy in a way that if you touch my right away,
(00:06):
nothing's gonna happen.
In fact, the opposite is gonna happen.
We take a couple of deep breaths And release.
And then we've switched our point of view fromthe outside to the inside.
(00:26):
Beautiful.
I'm Celeste.
And I'm Danielle.
And we're the founders of the SomaticaInstitute.
And the creators of the Somatica Method of sexand relationship coaching.
We created the Somatica Method because we knowthat intimacy is at the heart of human longing
and fulfillment.
(00:49):
I see couples thinking, well, I have all thesethings to do.
Sex is trivial, and it doesn't matter, and I'lljust put it on the back burner, and I don't
really need it anyway.
And then you see them drift apart.
I think many times, especially women, don'twanna have sex because and you call it
vaginism.
So, like, you know, lack of interest, like,they don't feel that level of arousal, mostly
(01:10):
because they're actually not getting, well,there are a few reasons.
One is it reduces motivation for sex if youdon't get what really turns you on.
Where is kind of the beginning part of theroadmap of of really healing the, you know,
from a, say, body image imbalance here?
Takes practice the same way that we practicedunconsciously.
(01:31):
People often think of it as passive, and wereally teach active receiving.
Okay?
Active receiving is where you you aren't just,like, laying there, like, hoping something will
happen.
I remember I was trying to help a woman orgasmfor the first time, and I was just like I was
like, okay.
So how would you start?
You know, she had her clothes on andeverything, but she was just, like, touching
(01:52):
her body.
And she's just lying there, and she's like,yeah.
I feel bored.
And I'm like, yeah.
I would be bored too.
Sometimes the only thing that makes me cum is,like, both the the because I'm making them and
the in my that I make because I'm activelygoing towards them.
I'm going towards them.
So it's not gonna be like an overnight ofunworking it, but I do think that the place to
(02:16):
start
Before we jump into today's episode, I wannamake sure that you know about my libido quiz at
libidoquiz.com.
This is a free quiz I developed to help youidentify missing root causes of low libido.
(02:37):
When you take this quiz, you will be thengiven, you'll be sent information specific to
your quiz answers, including the top tasks thatmay help diagnose and figure out why you have
low libido that your doctor may not be orderingfor you, as well as additional tips and tricks
to support healthy libido, desire, intimacy,and so much more.
(03:02):
So you can find that at libidoquiz.com.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode ofthe Libido Lounge.
I'm your host, libido expert, doctor Diane, andwe have a juicy episode here today for you.
We're talking about body image, sensuality, howyour body image can impact your sensuality, how
(03:26):
sensuality can actually heal, help you healfrom any body image imbalances or mental, you
know, thoughts you have that are not servingyou in this way.
And to help us have this conversation, I'mvery, very excited about our guests you just
heard about the Celeste and doctor Danielle.
So as you just heard, they're the thecofounders of the Somatica Institute.
(03:50):
And we're gonna get really juicy today and talkabout these things that I think are so common.
Right?
So common, especially for women, but I thinkfor men both.
And and so let's just start ladies, if we can.
Let's just start with why the heck are we in atthis point?
(04:10):
We're in 2025.
Right?
We're at a point where this is not the firsttime that anybody has heard that, you know, we
have to love our bodies and be kind to ourbodies and all these things.
Right?
So why are we still in 2025 at a point wherethis is such a struggle for so many of us?
(04:33):
Yeah.
I feel like we still get so many messages outthere.
Imagery, you know, messages saying, like, youhave to look this way and you have to look
young forever and you have to your body has tobe a particular shape and size and weight for
you deserve any sort of joy and pleasure.
So we're bomb we're bombarded, which is why itstill happens.
And we need to be able to create like aninternal sense of self and pleasure, in order
(04:56):
to like, you know, stave off all of thoseconstant messages that we get and to actually
just realize that we can claim our pleasureright now, and we don't have to be perfect or
feel perfect in order to do that.
Now I know some of
our listeners might be thinking like, okay,like, I hear that and I've worked on, you know,
(05:16):
I've worked on my body image and I work onopening a magazine and, you know, not comparing
myself to that woman in the magazine and allthese different things.
What about though, do you guys feel thatthere's still a level for many of us that
there's almost like this subconscious thing,where we we think we've done a level of work
around like, okay, I'm not gonna identify withthat girl in the photo who's been airbrushed
(05:40):
and photoshopped and all the things.
But you think that we can have then thisalmost, like, deeper level of, wow.
Like, I didn't realize I had a body image issueuntil somebody put their hand on my thigh, and
I cringed, you know.
How much of this is like happening consciouslyversus subconsciously, I guess is my question.
(06:02):
Yeah.
So I think it happens both ways.
It happens consciously and subconsciously andthere's a little bit of a way of like we are
trying to work on that in a cognitive way.
I think that's not helpful.
It's not helpful enough.
I think like it's one thing to start to compareyourself to magazines and get and see different
imagery, which is super important.
(06:22):
It is very important to relate to differentkinds of bodies because then you can find
yourself in those bodies as opposed to just onekind of body.
But the imagery is not getting much, muchbetter.
It's still kind of like the same with maybehere and there, there are fringe options.
But I think the real thing that can help helphelped me and can help other people is to start
(06:45):
to develop like an inner experience of yourbody that's not just about the look.
We're not like clothes hangers that walkingaround is supposed to look in particular way,
but it's more like wow like maybe I'm gonnalook at my body as something that feels and
experiences and have sensations and reallyenjoy things and not just like the way that I
(07:06):
and then start to apply it to the look, likelike kind of like developing a look from the
inside from sensations as opposed to developinga look from the outside.
So I wanna go into that a little more.
One of the things I said when we were, youknow, just chatting for a few before we started
recording here, is that this this concept thatI see in my work of, wow, people try to be
(07:30):
intimate, and we can't experience so many timesorgasm or pleasure of any kind.
If we're worried around like, well, how do Ilook in this position?
Or is my belly hanging out here?
Do my thighs look big?
And, you know, it's really, really difficult,if not actually completely impossible, to enjoy
pleasure if we're worried about all this.
(07:50):
And I hear in what you're saying some level ofwe need to get out of our just as, like, kind
of trying to heal this just with, like, themind and thinking, okay, well, I'm not gonna
compare myself to the image.
It sounds like the the process that is movingmore into the body and the experience.
So am I hearing you correctly?
And if so, can you explain that
(08:12):
a little more?
I wanna do one better than explain it.
I want us all I want us all to try it rightnow.
Oh, even better.
That is better for sure.
So so I feel like it's so easy to sort of feelourselves.
Like, we we're looking around all the time.
We're in this external world, we're getting allof this input.
And then we can also switch to our internalworld, and we can actually do it pretty quickly
(08:33):
and efficiently.
So I want us to do it right now.
Here's how it goes.
We take a couple of deep breaths.
And we start to feel our pussy.
Just notice your pussy is there, part of yourbody.
(08:59):
I almost wanna feel it, like like, and relaxedand softened to the world first as we continue
to breathe.
And then on the next breath, we're gonna take alittle hello squeeze.
Squeeze the muscles as you breathe.
(09:21):
And see if you can feel the pleasure of thesensation and then release.
And another squeeze and focus on pleasure.
Imagine it flowing from there through yourbody.
And release.
And one more, just wake up.
(09:43):
Hello.
I feel myself on the inside.
And release.
And then we've switched our point of view fromthe outside to the inside.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
I, I love the activity so much.
(10:03):
I feel compelled to bring up something thatsome of my listeners have heard me say before,
which is when I when I snowboard, I sometimesdo this activity with one of my girlfriends
where we snowboard with our pussy leading.
So I'll be like, so that's kind it's kind of,like, exactly what you're talking about the
exercise of saying, okay.
Well, on this run, dropping first into feelingher.
(10:25):
Right?
And then imagining that the movement, thatevery turn, that the that connection is
actually coming from that as kind of the focalpoint.
So, this just brings me to my question, whichis like, okay.
So taking what you did, do you teach and do youfocus on ways where it's like, okay, outside of
almost as meditative visual state, can we beginto have these experiences like that and bring
(10:51):
it in more to, like, washing the dishes andshowing up at work?
And, you know, how does this work from, like, aday to day incorporating, leading from feeling
my body type of way?
Definitely.
And, you know, we call itdecompartmentalization of sexuality because it
is, you know, like we think that sex is justthis thing we keep for the bedroom, but like,
(11:13):
let her let's have like a pussy be our guide,our like, you know, like compass.
You know, like she is leading me about like,oh, what do I feel wearing today?
Or how do, you know, like, do I wanna move mybody?
Or what do I feel like eating?
Or how do I you know, like, she is like she'smy you know, I move from my pussy the same way
(11:38):
that you describe the snowboarding.
Right?
So I really think it's like the way we absorbour body image is just a habit.
Know, we heard about it.
We heard we drill, drill, drill.
So we need to undrill it and start putting insome new practices that will allow us to
connect with our body and with our experienceof ourselves in a different way.
(12:00):
I love it.
I love it.
And then so my other question is in thinkingabout the, you know, kind of the science behind
this.
I'm a I'm a scientist at heart, really, becauseI really find that when people understand some
of, like, why this is happening, sometimes ifthere's, like, a little resistance to, like,
okay, this is interesting.
Leave with my pussy.
(12:21):
Drop into my pussy.
Feel my pussy.
Like, all those, sometimes they can be like,what is this gonna do?
Right?
So can you explain, like, kind of, like, almostfrom the the mechanism perspective, like, how
dropping and feeling into our bodies, into ouranatomy, into our, you know, our pleasure
centers, how that is then connected torepairing, you know, the body image.
(12:47):
I do feel like so much of it is about ourhormones, like the hormones that get released
when we're in high states of pleasure, whenwe're having orgasm, when we're squeezing those
muscles and feeling the sensations move throughour body.
We're like releasing endorphins and oxytocin.
We're doing it with ourselves, and we're lovingourselves more when we come from that inside
place and that embodied sensation based place.
(13:09):
And we're doing it with our partners when wecreate this loop of pleasure between us.
Right?
Then we're having all of the sensation andpleasure that we can share and the feedback.
And I think one of the things that I reallywant to say, you know, is a lot of times we
feel like we have to do these things all byourselves.
But I think it's great to like really get thefeedback of other people, like helping us raise
(13:32):
those hormonal levels and giving us pleasureand taking in how much they desire us instead
of like oh is do I look good do I look goodit's just like wait I see desire coming at me
from all over the place I must look amazing Andall and that loop actually releases those
hormones as well.
So that combination just for me it just is whatit's what balances my brain.
(13:53):
It's what makes me you know live to fightanother day.
It's really It's really those that hormonallevel keeping that high by being connected to
our bodies.
And just again to keep reinforcing what Silassaid like in letting like allowing and like
keep reinforcing this lending strip in our bodythat says, like, yes.
(14:17):
That feels good.
Yes.
I can take it in.
Because what do we see?
What do we tell?
Like, let's think about, like, the averageperson.
Like, you know, like, when we are hearing acompliment, we're just like, oh, no.
They didn't really hear it.
Oh, thank you.
But not really letting it in.
And I was like, I wanna I'm like, yeah.
I wanna get it in.
I wanna take it in.
I'm building my lending strip to be lusciousand open and available and say it's almost like
(14:41):
we learned we're not supposed to take it in andwe're supposed to be miserable in some way.
And I was like, let's be greedy.
Let's take it in.
Let's show ourselves as this good complimentsand positive sensation because who said we have
to like buy into the other story?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's the the art of receptivity is like,it's so crazy to me sometimes how hard it is to
(15:09):
literally just be okay with just being in thereceiving.
You know, it's it's so easy to receive acompliment superficially, like you're saying,
and then just, like, instantly be like, oh, andthen, like, give a compliment back.
And that's, you know, it's great.
It's great to be, you know, reciprocal thatway.
But I think so often, we're, like, we're justso quick to kinda get out of that state of rest
(15:31):
receptivity versus, like, taking that moment tobe like, wow.
Yeah.
That feels really, really good and actuallycompletely allow that energy in before we move
into whatever, you know, whatever else we'removing into.
I know one of the things that that you ladiestalk about is this concept of pleasure being a
birthright.
(15:51):
And I know in talking to people, like,sometimes it's so easy for people to just be
like, well, I'm not that interested in sex.
That's just not what my partner and I do.
It was great in the beginning.
It went away.
We're fine now.
And, you know, what do you have to say to thatin in response to also this this idea around,
this is a birthright.
(16:11):
This is healing.
This is everything that you've said.
So so why is pleasure a birthright, and why doyou think we, like, deny it so often?
In our culture, what we really have is a workethic.
We think the only thing that makes us valuableis these sort of, like, particular external
achievements.
And, you know, I believe in a pleasure ethic,and it's really, I think, what makes life more
(16:32):
joyful and interesting and exciting and fun.
I think we'll still get plenty of work done,especially if we're having much more fun doing
it.
So, you know, to really go into that birthrightmeans to let go of some of this idea that the
only thing that gives us value is sort of,like, this kind of productivity.
I think a lot of times I see couples thinking,well, I have all these things to do.
(16:53):
Sex is trivial, and it doesn't matter, and I'lljust put it on the back burner, and I don't
really need it anyway.
And then you see them drift apart.
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Now back to our show.
Because there's none of this exchange of, youknow, connection and intimacy and hormonal
balance and and all of those nice sticky,hormones and connections that we that we really
need to keep that.
(17:58):
But the work ethic gets in the way of thisbirthright and this pleasure ethic.
And, and I think we would get so much more doneif we really focused on how enjoyable the the
moments of sensation and and playfulness andfun are.
I agree.
I agree.
I, I do a lot from a work perspective withsetting goals and that sort of thing, but
(18:22):
within the context of, like, anytime I set workgoals, I also set pleasure goals.
And my friends know this enough that they'llcheck-in and be like, how are your pleasure
goals being?
How are they going?
Right?
Because I find the same thing.
It's like when we can get into that space andwe can create from that space, I'm getting work
done.
It's like, we all get work done.
That's just that's who most of us are.
(18:44):
It's like gonna be part of our lives.
Right?
But to have pleasure as a huge component of it,I think is a, you know, it's a really
important, piece of this.
So what about things like numbness?
Like, you know, because I do see that thatvaginal numbness is a very fairly common thing,
(19:04):
sometimes from trauma, sometimes from hormones,sometimes just with aging, sometimes from lack
of interest.
There's so many different reasons for this.
So where does your work come in with helpingpeople heal from any sort of vaginal numbness?
Yeah.
And I think I think many times, especiallywomen don't want to have sex because and you
call it vaginal numbness.
(19:25):
So like, you know, lack of interest, like theydon't feel that level of arousal mostly because
they're actually not getting well, there are afew reasons.
One is that they're not getting the sex thatthey want.
They're getting like some sex that doesn't meanthat that's what turns them on.
And they're not like because we're trained thatsex is not for us in, you know, in societally.
(19:46):
So we don't go on an exploration of pleasurefor ourselves.
We do it to satisfy our partners.
So that creates like, you know, a lack oflibido is just around the corner.
I'm not talking about hormones.
Hormones have their own issue that I thinkdeserves some, you know, special mention.
But definitely people are not even like, youknow, like we're eating from a kidney meal.
(20:09):
We're not eating for the full potential gourmetFrench meal that we can get.
So it reduces motivation for sex if you don'tget what really turns you on.
So then, okay.
So another question that I have for you ladiesis, so we're doing an exercise like this
somatic exercise we just did.
(20:31):
Right?
And that was around our pussy.
But in waking up the whole body, right?
Because I think so many times too, one of theproblems we get into with intimacy and sex is
we are just thinking penetration.
And when I ask people, when I have, like, teachlive classes and I ask people, like, when I say
sex, what's the first thing that comes to mind?
(20:51):
It's always intercourse, penetration, andintercourse, penetration.
Right?
That's what everybody thinks of.
And, you know, sex for a lot of us is, like, somuch more than just this this penetrative type
of act.
It's a pleasure filled event of so manydifferent of waking up ourselves in so many
different ways.
So what's, like, the process you guys takepeople through around, like, oh, wow.
(21:15):
Maybe we're gonna get out of just thinkingabout sex from a standpoint of penetrative only
and and really begin to experience pleasurefrom, like, a multifactorial, you know,
multicellular type of way.
I do feel like we don't, we don't teach peopleabout women's bodies and the ways that our
(21:36):
bodies need a lot of all over body touch andwarm up.
I know when I'm with a new partner so quickly,I feel them trying to go to my genitals and
touch them right away.
And when they do that, I'm just like, there'snothing happen.
If we wanna talk about numbness, like, she'snot awake.
I'm like, you kiss my ear if you stroke my arm.
Like, I can feel that in my clitoris in a waythat if you touch my clitoris right away,
(22:00):
nothing's gonna happen.
In fact, the opposite is gonna happen.
And so it is really, about educating ourpartners.
And also, I think as women, what we don'trealize is that our arousal curve does take
longer.
We we need more warm up time.
I think everybody does well with more warm uptime, but we really need it in order to get to
the heights of our pleasure, whether we'rehaving intercourse or oral sex or none of the
(22:23):
above, manual, playing with our vibrators.
But to take the time to really feel and touchand smell and, like, all over body touch and
kissing.
And and and also, I think a lot of times womenfeel like, I'm supposed to be giving back right
away.
I really teach my female clients to focus ontheir sensation first, get connected to their
(22:44):
pussy, touch their own body while their partneris touching their body.
It's like, let's team effort this.
You know?
Because because I know that my partners want toget me to my highest level of arousal.
And if I'm worried about them right away,that's not gonna happen.
And so there is this focusing, this self focusthat needs to happen that I think a lot of us
feel guilty or bad or, like, we're supposed toget turned on faster than we are.
(23:07):
And there's a lot of pressure around that.
So slowing down and focusing on self is soimportant.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that to me just goes back tothe concept of rest you know, receiving that we
were talking about around.
Okay.
Even when we are being touched sensually, it'slike really allowing to feel that before we
quickly move into, okay, now I gotta give youpleasure too.
(23:29):
And and you're right.
I think we do so easily just jump so fast andand ignore that.
So so where do people start?
Right?
If I if the the, say, block is around somethinglike body image, and if people are experiencing
that they go into a sensual experience andthey're either in their head around, like,
(23:53):
being touched or how they look or they're liketheir, you know, hand touches an area of their
body, they feel trepidation around, and theyfeel themselves, like, pull back and almost,
like, have this inability to receive.
Do they go straight to an exercise like youtaught us?
Like, where is kind of the the beginning partof the road map of of really healing the you
(24:15):
know, from a, say, a body image imbalance here.
Yes.
I wanna say that it definitely, you know, likeit's been years of us, like, working with that,
you know.
I mean, like, it's like we get those messagesreally early on.
So it's not gonna be like an overnight ofunworking it.
But I do think that the place to start isreally we created two special classes.
(24:39):
I just wanna say, you know, like, one is reallyabout erotic embodiment and the other one is
about body image.
And I think this combination of those classeswhere you kind of go and practice.
It takes practice the same way that wepracticed unconsciously taking the negative
messages.
We want to practice consciously creating apositive loop in our nervous system.
(25:03):
That's kinda it's also like that's the way itworks on the nervous system level.
Right?
We are retraining a body to enjoy pleasure inevery level in the embodiment class.
Have like so many ways to take in pleasure andto bring it all the way down to your pelvic
floor and how to like keep building andreinforcing those circuits in the body.
(25:25):
And then like in the body image class, we talka lot about like how to, you know, like re
create a lending strip, how to put boundarieswhen people tell you stuff that you don't wanna
hear and like really like how to start enjoyingyourself, how to face the mirror and love what
you are seeing there because it's coming fromthis place of like my my body's superpower, and
(25:48):
not just like, I'm just like this this thingthat like I'm not matching exactly what the
journals or the, you know, tells me I'msupposed to look like.
Can I add something also?
Which is this idea of receiving.
I think people often think of it as passive,and we really teach active receiving.
(26:08):
Okay?
Active receiving is where you aren't just likelaying there, like, hoping something will
happen.
I remember I was trying to help a woman orgasmfor the first time, and I was just like I was
like, okay.
So how would you start?
You know, she had her clothes on andeverything, but she was just, like, touching
her body, and she's just lying there.
And she's like, yeah.
I feel bored.
And I'm like, yeah.
I would be bored too.
(26:28):
You know?
Like, nothing's happening.
And so I was like, here's what it looks likewhen I masturbate.
And I start, like, squeezing my muscles andmoving my legs and breathing and, like,
touching my body and making sound.
And, like, this is not a passive process.
This is like we've gotta go towards thepleasure.
We've gotta make sound.
Like, sometimes the only thing that makes mecome is, like, both the noise, the the
(26:51):
experience of making a noise, and hearing mynoises that I'm making because I'm actively
going towards pleasure sounds.
I'm going towards pleasure movements.
So I really want people to start to thinkabout, like, receiving as an active process.
Even when I touch people, I'm touching for mypleasure.
Like, I'm feeling the flesh to turn me on.
You know?
(27:11):
So that's something that I like to teach, womento do.
Yeah.
And then it's also like sorry.
I'm labeling, like, off, like, hitting off eachother here.
And then also it creates a much more motivationfor a partner to keep giving us because then it
creates this, like, flow of erotic energybetween us.
So, like, we are responding to their touch.
(27:32):
So they are more motivated to give us moretouch.
So it's kind of like self reinforcing andmutually reinforcing.
Well, you guys are really setting me up for thenext question that I wanted to ask you anyway.
So this is a perfect lead in.
So thank you.
And I and I agree.
It's like when we're talking about like thatactive pleasure or active receiving versus
passive receiving.
(27:52):
It's not like we're laying there like a, youknow, like in corpse pose or, you know,
Shavasana just kind of like spacing out.
Right?
There's so much more happening to that.
My question here is this is, and I'll give youa little backstory around I was healing from a
relationship many years ago when I went to atherapist.
I had said something to this therapist around.
(28:14):
Was like, well, you know, I want to make surethat I am, like, totally healed from this
relationship before I start dating again.
And the therapist had told me something thatnobody ever told me before that, but I thought
was profound.
And and she's like, in order to heal from arelational thing, you do that in relationship.
(28:34):
And so and it was very interesting to, like,take that into my next partner and to just
really be like, oh, yeah.
If I get triggered in this partnership basedupon my past, like, now it's bringing up this
moment for me to actually heal that I couldn'thave healed because I wasn't having those
triggers come up that I didn't recognize.
Right?
(28:55):
So my question for you kinda comes from thatand thinking about this from, like, a, you
know, healing body image and learning how to bereceptive and all of this.
Like, how much of this work do you think thenfrom a, you know, somatic experiences work that
we can do alone versus, like, hey, we reallyneed to have this partner here to help us, you
(29:16):
know, heal?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think
Our whole method is basically based on thatbelief system.
Like, we we work with our clients and we trainour coaches.
We teach them how to be relational And, youknow, and we do go into erotic and emotional
intimacy with our clients within the boundariesof the method.
(29:37):
And we do that as a way to actually, like,maybe touch on some of those triggers and they
become activated in the relationship.
And then we can work on them in a very safecontainer where the focus is the work because
sometimes you're not totally ready to bring itto a partner.
You're too scared or you're too wounded, butyou do need a place where you can practice
inauthentic intimacy to create that safe, wecall it the relationship lab.
(30:01):
And nothing is perfectly safe, right?
But it's like safe, a safer space where some ofthose feelings can come up and you can process
them with somebody who's really present andconnected with you.
Yeah, and just to add to that, like you can't,you can't heal body image just with your own,
you know, because then you go out, you need tocreate some sort of like immunity.
(30:21):
You need to create experiences that you'regoing out because you can tell yourself so many
things that which is amazing.
You keep do telling yourself all the goodthings in front of mirror.
That's fantastic.
But then, like, it's also like go out there andthen first learn to listen to the good stuff
that people tell you and take it in.
And then, like, keep asking people to tell yougood stuff.
Like why just ask people for criticisms?
(30:43):
Yeah, yeah, tell me more.
What do you like about me?
Yeah, yeah, I wanna hear more.
You don't really take it in, you know.
It's okay to tell people if you have somethingbad to say, don't tell me.
I just want to hear the good stuff that youhave to tell me.
So yeah.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
I think it's really beautiful because I thinkso many times we're in this world of trying to
(31:04):
heal ourselves and it's so isolating and alone.
And a lot of the times, it doesn't work to doit that way anyways.
So we don't have to be alone in this.
Yeah.
Remember the first time a partner ever said, Ilove your thighs.
And I have to tell you, like, I grew up in atime when thighs, you weren't supposed to have
them at all.
They weren't even supposed to touch each other.
And I have these very round, luscious thighs.
(31:25):
And he said, I love your legs so much.
And I was like, what?
You love my legs?
And it was really healing, that moment for me.
And I was like, oh, I started to fall in lovewith them too.
And so it's like sometimes we can do it inourselves and sometimes we really need that
positive reinforcement to remind us, you know,how gorgeous and sexy we are.
And so often with our lovers, they're not likepicking those little things apart.
(31:49):
They're just like, you're hot.
I want you.
You know?
I was like, yes.
Yes.
More.
More.
More.
Totally right.
Totally right.
Well, I can't believe we're already at the topof our time.
This went so fast, ladies.
I know we're gonna put in the show notes how towork with you guys, how to get involved if you
are if people are interested in learning yourmethodology as healers, as people that would
(32:13):
actually like to bring this work to others, aswell as if they are interested in working with
you guys more on just people that want to learnyour methodology right in their own lives.
But tell us a little bit, like, just kinda whatyou package that up nicely for us around, like,
how people work with you and and of coursewe'll put everything in the show notes for for
everybody.
Wonderful.
So we have our platform learn.somatica.com.
(32:37):
This is where you can get classes and reallykind of practice with yourself.
We have an app for that and you can reallykinda learn and everything is experiential.
So while it is like a self learning process,you definitely have practices.
This is a little bit like Celeste demonstratedearlier and way in more and more and more
opportunities for you to practice tools tostart to love your body and engage in your
(33:02):
sexuality and feeling very driven around that.
And we have the somaticainstitute.com.
This is where you can explore about thepotentially being a coach and support others on
this journey as well.
Amazing.
And thank you so much for being here.
Everybody remember that I will be doing parttwo in our libido club.
(33:24):
So please do come over and check that out.
How you join us in the show notes below.
Then ask a lot more juicy questions such aswhat are the steps that we need to do to really
be transformed here?
How do we really begin to learn our pleasurebody?
Where do we start?
So much more.
Alright, everybody.
That's it for today.
(33:44):
Thank you again for joining me on the lounge,and we'll see you again real soon.
Ciao for now.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Diane.
You for listening to the Libido Lounge.
Please don't keep me a secret.
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
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