March 30, 2025 • 31 mins
What if we told you that orgasm and ejaculation aren’t the same thing—and that separating them could supercharge your sex life, your energy, and your confidence?
In this episode, I sit down with Matt Sturn, a somatic therapist and coach for men’s sexuality, who went from five-minute sex to mind-blowing, multi-orgasmic pleasure. And guess what? No ejaculation necessary.
We dive deep into how early porn exposure trained our bodies to rush sex, how men can rewire their arousal systems, and why lasting longer isn’t just about technique—it’s about energy mastery. Matt shares his five-step process to orgasmic control, the daily practice that changed everything for him, and why his partner cried the first time they connected for 45 minutes straight (yes, really!).
For Part Two with Matt on Edging, join our Libido Club: mylibidodoc.com/libido-club
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And one of my challenges was I wouldn't lastvery long, in sex.
I would last five minutes, maybe ten minutes.
When I was growing up, I was watching porn, andI was kind of like quiet and I didn't wanna get
caught and so I would masturbate as quickly aspossible.
And I was training my body, my arousal system,my nervous system to get erect and then come
(00:26):
quickly and then be done.
Right?
Yeah.
We wanna retrain that pattern.
Not everybody has that, but we wanna retrain itso we can hang out aroused for as long as we
want.
I can have this energetic peak of pleasure thatdoes not have to have anything to do with my
(00:51):
cock rhythmically pumping and ejecting fluid.
Once I get the energetic peak, I can have thoseagain and again and again, the same way similar
to how women's arousal can work, where womencan have orgasm after orgasm.
Men, we can learn this too.
So that's pretty cool.
A scale from zero to 10.
Where zero is no arousal and 10 is peak orgasm.
(01:15):
We wanna find five to seven on the arousalrange.
So five is high enough that you're not going toslip into not being aroused anymore.
Seven is far enough below the top that there'sa safe buffer in case there's a wave and you
don't spill over.
Slowly, slowly, I started to feel energy in mybody and it was like, woah, this is a real
(01:37):
thing.
In my book, I lay out five steps to orgasmicmastery and the first step is one of the
benefits for men when you get this is you havemore focus and energy.
But also the sex levels up in ways that I couldnot have comprehended.
(02:01):
Hey, Matt.
Welcome to the Livedo Lounge.
I'm so excited you are here.
Tell us a little bit about yourself and abouthow you got into the world of supporting the
masculine and helping men with non ejaculatoryorgasms.
Awesome, Diane.
Thanks so much for having me.
I'm stoked to be here.
I coach men around sexuality, and I do a lot ofwork around masculinity.
(02:24):
It's one of the big passions in my life.
I'm also trained as a somatic therapist, so Ibring, like, more of a trauma informed and
attachment informed approach to this method.
For me personally, learning non ejaculatoryorgasms was, a, one of the most challenging
things I've ever done, and, b, one of the mostrewarding things.
(02:46):
It completely changed my life, not just interms of having better sex, but how I showed up
as a man.
And so I'm super passionate about sharing thesepractices and helping other men, supporting
other men to make the same journey because it'sa big one.
This is huge.
This is so huge, everybody.
(03:06):
We are gonna have, I think, the most one of themost deep discussions on this show around men
that we have had to date because, you know,it's a common thing.
Right?
When, like, I think when I have mentioned thisto men, this conversation around non
ejaculatory orgasms, I think a lot of men, forone, are are like, I can even do that?
Like, that's even possible?
(03:27):
Right?
Mhmm.
So we're gonna talk about a lot of thingstoday.
We're gonna talk about techniques.
We're gonna talk about your story.
We're gonna talk about what even is a nonejaculatory orgasm.
Like, how does that even feel?
Is it same feeling as a good orgasm as aregular orgasm, or is it a I should say
regular.
Is it an ejaculatory orgasm?
So I know you said that, like, it's really oneof things you had said is it really helped you
(03:50):
show up differently as a man.
So tell tell us a little bit about yourjourney.
Like, prior to even learning what you're gonnateach and talk about today, prior to even you
know, writing this great book that we're gonnatalk about today that you just published and
released prior to any of this, how did you evenbegin to even learn about this concept, and
(04:10):
what was your process to say, yes, this isimportant to me.
I've got to learn how to do this.
Yeah.
Great.
So my path is I was a pretty average guy.
I had a corporate job.
Sex was something that I cared about but wasn'tparticularly good at.
I didn't really have a bunch of tools orsupport, kind of average.
(04:34):
You know?
I struggled with a lot of shame from myCatholic upbringing.
I had a little bit of sexual trauma in my past.
So, anyway, I took a gap year off from my job,and I went traveling and volunteering around
Asia.
And, randomly, my partner and I ended up at atantra retreat in Thailand.
We didn't know anything about it.
(04:54):
We just showed up, and we were reallystruggling with our sex life.
We were not meeting each other.
We were trying.
It was like butting heads in crisis mode, tothe point where we thought we were gonna break
up.
And then we roll into this retreat, and hereare all these humans who are investing in their
(05:14):
sexuality.
There's all these tools and practices, andthere's a whole different framework than what I
grew up with, the idea that our sexuality issacred and that these bodies are holy and that
we wanna welcome our desires as part of ourlife force energy that flows through us.
And all of this for me, like, decade ago wasjust like click, click, click.
(05:36):
Wow.
Wow.
And most importantly, it was like, okay.
I'm gonna take these practices, and I'm gonnastart using them.
And one of my challenges was I wouldn't lastvery long, in sex.
I would last five minutes, maybe ten minutes.
And so they were like, well, slow down,breathe, feel your body.
(05:58):
And the first time we like, very simple.
And the first time we tried this, I had sexwith my partner for forty five minutes, and and
both of us were crying at the end.
We're like, oh my god.
I can't believe this is happening.
And for me, it was a reorientation around sexjust being what my body did to starting to have
some sovereign choice around how I show upsexually.
(06:20):
So that's where I got my start.
And then I was in.
I was enrolled, and I was like, they wereteaching yoga.
Oh, yoga is not just a stretching fad.
It's actually, like, a practice that willsupport me to have better sex.
Sweet.
I'm in.
That's awesome.
And then my partner and I started having adaily sexual practice where we really focused.
(06:42):
We had the time and space in our lives to godeep with each other.
And in making it a practice, I was able toretrain my arousal response, my nervous system,
and my whole body.
And we talk about orgasm being energy.
At the beginning, I was like, I don't getenergy.
I'm a I'm a mathematician.
That was what my college degree was.
(07:02):
I don't understand energy because you can'tmeasure it.
Slowly, slowly, I started to feel energy in mybody, and it was like, woah.
This is a real thing.
And I can start to work with it.
And, wow, some really awesome results happen,not only for my partner, she was, like, stoked,
but also for me, so much started to unlock inmy body.
(07:23):
So that's what got me on the path, And thenthat passion has just carried forward.
Once I learned it, I was like, okay, peopleneed to know about this.
I love it.
And I love the the experience of you know, justlike the experiencing energy for the first
time.
One of my Mhmm.
Doctorates is in acupuncture and orientalmedicine.
So while I have studied a little tantra, not alot, I'm definitely not a deep tantra person,
(07:47):
I've studied qigong for a couple decades, whichis a different version of movement of energy.
And that first time, I remember feeling, like,truly how we'd how how I would define it at
least after all these years of study.
And, like like, realize it's real.
Right?
Realize this thing that we can't actually see,right, is actually very real and that we can
(08:10):
utilize this to help ourselves feel better, tofeel more relaxed, or to feel more energized,
and then to tie that into sex.
I just I think it these types of processesreally show us the innate capacity of the human
body to not only heal, but to, like, show uppresent, fully, fully, fully present.
I think we go through, like, some of your whenI'm listening to your story, it's made me think
(08:33):
that, like, the way we go through sex, right,as humans so many times is just this almost,
like, unilateral.
I'm in this one zone.
This is my zone, and I stay in my zone, andthat's what I do.
And your, you know, your story is like openingup so much around, like, the capacity of the of
the human to experience so many more sensationsand so many more so much more pleasure if we
(08:57):
start opening up, like, our our zone orapproach beyond this, like, very linear
direction.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So one of the places where I love to start thisconversation is around orgasm versus
ejaculation.
Like,
Sure.
Let's do it.
From the very beginning is orgasm for me is thepleasurable pleasurable sensations that I'm
(09:19):
having in my body, and I would say it's asubtle energy sensation.
And then ejaculation is the biological process,the physiological process of pumping sperm out
of the penis.
And in all of the porn that I ever watchedgrowing up, in all of the pop culture, in every
conversation I ever had, it was just assumedthat they went together.
(09:41):
That was one phenomenon.
Right.
And so the first step is just to, like,conceptually be like, okay.
I can have this energetic peak of pleasure thatdoes not have to have anything to do with my
cock rhythmically pumping and ejecting, fluid.
(10:03):
That we wanna learn how to split those.
And then once I get the energetic peak, I canhave those again and again and again, the same
way similar to how women's arousal can work,where women can have orgasm after orgasm.
Men, we can learn this too.
So that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
The multi orgasmic man.
Mhmm.
Right.
(10:25):
Okay.
Beautiful.
So then from that standpoint so now we've,like, helped people understand this.
Right?
Now we've helped people understand that this isnot necessarily one and the same, that are
these two separate processes.
I think probably one of the things that comesup probably commonly for men, right, is, well,
how do I control that?
(10:47):
Right?
How do I begin, like you know, once I, like,start feeling pleasure, how do I begin to
control this?
And I know you and I talked offline about theconcept of edging, right, and that being one of
the ways potentially to control this, to say,hey, I'm gonna feel pleasure, but not actually
take it all the way to, like, ejaculation.
(11:08):
But that still doesn't, you know, tell me, likelike, where, from a standpoint of control, how
do I prevent or how does a man prevent
Mhmm.
Actually going all the way to ejaculation andjust experiencing the pleasure and the the
subtle sensations that orgasm allows?
That's such a great question.
(11:28):
And in my book, I lay out five steps to,orgasmic mastery, and the first step is arousal
control.
I don't know if you know that, but control is,like, where we begin.
So I start everybody who I work with.
And for me personally, the last decade I'vebeen doing this, I have a daily self pleasure
practice.
Mhmm.
And that self pleasure practice is myopportunity to feel pleasure in my body, to
(11:54):
give the opportunity for arousal to be here andorgasm to be here, but it's not a goal oriented
practice.
It's just I'm breathing deeply, connecting withmy body every day.
And this is a solo practice.
Correct?
Solo practice, for me to be with me.
And then whatever yummy goodness you know, if Ihave a partner right now, I have a partner.
I get to bring that to her.
(12:16):
But it's it's really about cultivating it inmyself.
So the first step, arousal control for myprocess, if you could imagine that a scale from
zero to 10, where zero is no arousal and 10 ispeak orgasm Yeah.
We wanna find five to seven on the arousalrange.
(12:38):
So five is high enough that you're not going toslip into not being aroused anymore.
Seven is far enough below the top that there'sa safe buffer in case there's a wave and you
don't spill over.
Mhmm.
So for most of us, like, the five to sevenrange, we call it kinda call it flyover
territory.
We just wanna cruise right past that to get tothe yummier stuff.
(13:00):
Feeling yummy.
We want it to feel yummier.
Right?
But, actually, there's a really rich playgroundin the five to seven range.
And then learning how to hang out there And ifyou can hang out there you know, I've tested
this.
You can go hours being aroused and just be inthat zone.
Right?
(13:20):
So when I was growing up, I was watching porn,and I was kind of, like, quiet.
I didn't wanna get caught, and so I wouldmasturbate as quickly as possible.
And I was training my body, my arousal system,my nervous system to get erect and then come
quickly and then be done.
Right?
(13:40):
Yeah.
We wanna retrain that pattern.
Not everybody has that, but we wanna retrain itso we can hang out aroused for as long as we
want.
So that's, like, the first practice is justtouch your body, breathe deeply, feel pleasure,
hang out in that five to seven band.
So a couple questions from that.
So one, do you feel then when we're talkingabout, say, this pleasure practice, right, and
(14:05):
we're talking about masturbation, do you feelthen that people and I think this is a common
practice, right, where people's masturbationpractice looks generally the same.
Like, you know, usually from what I've seen instudies, women tend to have their range of a
few different ways they masturbate, but it'slike it's like in this narrow range, and and
men often too.
And so and it does, you know, typically lookfor people with masturbation.
(14:29):
Most commonly, it's like it's to get the orgasmjob done.
Right?
It's like we're here.
We're here for remission, and it's very, veryshort.
Do you feel then with what you've seen in inyour research and your work that when we are
masturbating in this way, are we then settingourselves up where this arousal length, it's
(14:51):
harder to achieve that arousal length with apartner.
Completely.
So if I only touch myself one specific way formy pleasure, and then if my partner doesn't
touch me in that one specific way, I may notget aroused.
And I've spoken to like, I've had thisexperience myself personally, but I've also
(15:12):
coached other men where they're like, I haveerectile dysfunction.
Well, in what cases, you know, with with yourpartner, but on your own, you don't.
And so you're touching yourself in one way, butyour partner's not doing that.
There's the disconnect right there.
So in your self pleasure practice, expand yourrange.
We are capable of so many different flavors ofpleasure from the lightest little tickling
(15:38):
teasing touch to, like, rough grabbing toscratching and pulling.
Get into the full expression of what your bodycan do, and that's going to allow you to bring
that into your lovemaking with your partner.
Completely agree.
Okay.
So my second question so that clears that up.
Then my second question for you is when we'rethinking about this scale, right, this this
(16:03):
Mhmm.
10 scale, and we're saying five to seven iskind of this really lovely zone that gets
passed over, I've seen situations where it'shelpful, and I'm like, all sit almost all
situations, I feel like communication is reallyimportant.
But I've seen situations where couples haveexperimented with things such as saying, like,
okay.
I'm at a five.
(16:23):
I'm at a seven.
Like, do you bring in some of the work that youdo, like, with partner play, like, with this
scale where a partner can be like, okay.
This is where I'm at.
Here's where I'm at on the scale, and thenutilize that to almost inform the partner so it
becomes less of a, you know, say, unilateralprocess where, like, say, the man is holding
(16:44):
his pleasure in the five to seven and more of acombined process that we get to experience
together where the they're getting feedback,and maybe the woman's even changing what she's
doing to help hold him in the five to seven.
Is that part of it as well?
Completely.
I'm so happy that you're speaking to thispoint.
Communication.
So if you decide to take this practice on, it'sa big undertaking as a guy for most of us.
(17:09):
It takes a lot of discipline, a lot of control,and a lot of practice.
If you have a partner, you need to tell yourpartner, hey.
I wanna learn this thing, and you need toenroll your partner in this process together
with you.
You both have to be on the same page.
And there's gonna be a a phase of, like, kindof learning how to drive a stick shift vehicle
(17:30):
for the first time where we're rewiringeverything.
Like, oh, well, stop.
Okay.
Now go.
Oh, alright.
And so it can be a little bit awkward to stayin that zone.
If your partner doesn't know that you're tryingto do this, it can be hurtful for your like,
emotionally hurtful, or your partner may notfeel your full energy coming in in the same
way.
And so, yeah, you it's essential in my book tohave that conversation.
(17:54):
And then if your partner is on board to belike, yeah, I wanna, like, play in this zone
with you, and I wanna learn this practice withyou, then great.
That is actually the key to success.
Okay.
So this is really exciting, and I think one ofthe things that I can feel that people might be
thinking about, right, because it's so commonto hear this and be like, well, this sounds
(18:17):
great.
This sounds like I could provide more pleasurefor my partner and I could last longer, I think
those are probably conclusions people arealready getting up getting from our
conversation.
Mhmm.
That being said, I know there's so many otherbenefits, and I find that as humans, most of
the time when we know that, like, what thebenefits are and what, you know, what the the
(18:38):
purpose is and all of the purpose is, it canbecome a higher level of interesting to say,
yeah.
This is, like you said, this is a practice.
This will take time.
So I think going through and understanding somemore of the benefits could really help people
understand, like, oh, yeah.
This is actually, you know, worth it for themand for their, you know, their partner to put
this energy into it because it is a process.
(18:59):
So so tell us a little bit more about, like,since, you know, you've been doing this, since
you've coached others Mhmm.
In this, what are you seeing from a benefitstandpoint?
Right.
Okay.
So first little tidbit, a very interesting datapoint.
A few years back, I got interested in talkingto women whose partners had learned this skill.
And I was like, what's the best part of yourman having this practice?
(19:23):
And I was surprised, but then it made completesense that almost unilaterally what I heard
back is there's no more agenda aroundejaculation during sex.
There's not that pressure Nice.
Have the goal.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I I talk about that a lot in my work tooaround, like, we gotta take this this goal off
(19:45):
the table.
This goalpost really brings us out of thepresent moment, but I hadn't thought about that
in terms of this non ejaculatory orgasm, thatthat completely changes that whole mindset from
that standpoint.
Completely changes it.
Right.
So that's the feedback I got from partners onthe other side of it.
(20:05):
I have talked to many, many men who have gonethrough this initiation, and this is true for
me.
The biggest thing was actually that I wasn'texpelling my life force through my semen, and
that gave me an incredible amount of energy andfocus.
(20:26):
It was like this fog lifted from my system, andI could see clearly.
And I would wake up every morning, and I wouldknow what to do, and I would go do it.
And when I'm ejaculating, there's amount anamount of life force energy that gets given
away that then my body has to replenish.
Yeah.
And because I started masturbating when I wasin fifth grade, you know, however 12 years old,
(20:50):
something like that, I had no baseline.
And I, you know, I would masturbate once a dayfor all the way through to my late twenties, so
I did not know what this was costing me.
And then once I stopped, it was actually like,oh, wow.
How do I even deal with all of the energy thatI now have available?
The vitality that's flowing through my system.
(21:10):
And this is how we this is, like, how ourbodies naturally operate when we're not
expending that energy.
Yeah.
In in Chinese medicine, we call that jing.
I I imagine you know Sure.
Jing as the term.
So life force.
And we talk a lot about that.
Right?
That there's a certain, like, essence that wecome into this world within.
There's almost this this this lack of abilityto, say, regenerate some level of this,
(21:35):
especially for men according to some of thetheories.
So my question for you is this, because anotherthing that I've seen in with men, and I'll
bring up my partner here, is that there arecertain times where it's like there can be all
of this this energy and this intensity.
My my partner's a really, really amazinglylike, I love he's masculinely intense in, like,
(21:58):
the best way.
And sometimes when he is, like, working reallyhard and pushing real hard, this intensity kind
of, like, builds up, and he's really good atholding it in.
And the process of ejaculation and he's very heknows how to edge, and he knows how to do all
so we can have these long, like, three hourlovemaking sessions.
Mhmm.
So he's gotten that down, but this process ofthis not this not ejaculating like, what I
(22:23):
think about him is, like, after in these timeswhere it's like, oh my gosh, like, just needing
that release and needing to to almost, like,take, say, some of that yang energy down and to
ground it, it's really healing for him, theejaculation process.
So Yeah.
You know, so I wanted to bring that into thisconversation around.
(22:43):
So so the question is then, like, when like, doyou find then with these these non ejaculatory
orgasms, like, they're still, like, reallyimportant health benefits to the orgasm itself?
And if so, then where are you seeing, the thetiming is, like or the the reasons to say, hey.
This time I'm gonna do these practices, do myarousal lengthening practice, do all these
(23:07):
different things, the five step process of yourbook, to to at least get to that pleasure zone
so it lasts longer, so I can have a longerlovemaking session.
So where do you see it's like, okay.
We have a longer lovemaking session, and, yeah,it's it's gonna be time to orgasm without
ejaculating versus, hey.
Now is actually a really good time to orgasmwith ejaculating.
(23:30):
You understand that question?
I completely understand the question.
So the idea with these practices, the phrase Ilike to use is ejaculatory choice.
Mhmm.
So rather than the the ejaculation being theunconscious drive for me into sex and then it's
kind of owning my behavior, I get to be reallyconsciously and intentional in how I do that.
(23:56):
As I've talked to men, I've been astounded byhow different, how unique each person's sexual
system is.
So I share these are the practices that workfor me, and I invite men to be a scientist with
their body and their system to explore.
Yeah.
I love that phrase.
Yeah.
Totally.
(24:16):
So I have gone over a year without ejaculating.
Mhmm.
It and to be specific here, it's not I wasn'tsexual.
It was I was in my self pleasure practice, andI was connecting with other people.
So I was stimulating my arousal the whole timeand not ejaculating.
And I went over a year.
My body felt great.
(24:36):
You know, there's an adjustment period.
I've also been in a period where once a month,when my partner was on her moon, I would share
my semen, and it was a beautiful, like, deep,like, shamanic, powerful ceremony that we did.
And it would cost me something.
I would feel like, okay.
I'm giving my life force, and I'm dedicating itinto my relationship here.
(24:59):
So there's not a right.
There's not a wrong.
It's feel into where this lands for you and trya bunch of different things.
There's one other piece that I want to sharehere, which is important for me.
I have looked at the academic research aroundprostate health.
Mhmm.
And as far as I can tell, there's not aconsensus around ejaculatory frequency with
(25:22):
prostate health.
Some articles say, yes.
You should ejaculate more and clean out thesystem.
Other articles say, no.
It doesn't make a difference.
And so I haven't been able to find anyconsensus on this.
And without that consensus, it's just stay withwhat feels right for your body.
Yeah.
Sadly, I think there's so many things in thesexual health world that we just don't have the
(25:45):
number of studies we need and the clarity onthese studies to really form form a consensus.
And I do agree that with any of these things,it's like we have to follow our own body and
our own feeling.
Mhmm.
Mhmm.
So it sounds like, like the for your ownpersonal experience, when you actually, after
going this period and not ejaculating and thencoming back and deciding that you were going to
(26:08):
ejaculate just in this very, very special sweetmoment with your partner when she was on her
moon.
So in this scenario, like, does she like, I'mcurious, and if it's too, like, personal for
her, I wanna, you know, obviously respect herspace.
I'm curious I'm curious, though, if she'sshared with you, and this feels, appropriate to
share when she like, if she has, like, noticedanything different from her experience saying,
(26:32):
like, okay.
This has not happened.
And then this one sacred time a month that thisis, you know, this is gonna be the way that you
guys share this energy.
Does has she noticed anything in particularthere?
So this was a few years ago with a a formerpartner, and what I can share is that it was
really powerful for both of us.
(26:54):
Like, when we were doing it, it's vulnerableand meaningful, and and there's, like, some
alchemy that happens on the the body substancelevel when we connect it in that way.
And it for me, it took my bond deeper with her.
Yeah.
It was amazing.
(27:16):
And offering you know, it's it's not justoffering my seed.
I'm offering my life force, and I'm dedicatingit into the connection of our relationship.
And that's just, like, ugh, melts my heart.
It's such a beautiful way to be in devotion.
Yeah.
There's so much, yeah, I think spiritual,mental, emotional, and obviously physical, but
(27:36):
it's like it brings a level of closeness thatis way way more than just, like, one levels one
level of closeness.
Totally.
I've also done a practice of offering, like,going outside into nature and offering my seed
to the land.
(27:57):
Mhmm.
And that's a super cool way to connect with thethe natural world.
And we we you know, our culture, we suffer froma disconnection from nature, and that practice
really brought me in deep.
So it opened the door for for more ways for meto be intentional with my body and my
sexuality, which has been pretty cool.
(28:17):
Yeah.
I've known quite a few females over the yearsthat have done that with their menstrual blood.
So it's, and that can be oftentimes in thefeminine a a way of creating, like, ceremony
and connection and just kinda recentering withthe earth and any intentions and, yeah, just
just creating that almost more alignment withwith nature and the world around us.
(28:40):
And I think it's like, you know, in Chinesemedicine, we talk a lot about, like, the
microcosm and the macrocosm and that themacrocosm's nature and the world is all these
things around us and that the same types ofenergy that we see and the wood growing strong
in the earth and the way the rivers cut throughthe forest and all these things, the the the
movement and the the energy behind these thingswe actually have in our body.
(29:04):
So I think those kind of practices bring usback to, you know, the
Absolutely.
I agree.
I wanna circle back around to the benefitsbecause I said the one of the benefits for men
when you get this is you have more focus andenergy.
But, also, the sex levels up in ways that Icould not have comprehended.
(29:24):
Having orgasm after orgasm after orgasm issuper cool.
Getting into extended rolling orgasmic states,having the orgasm move through different energy
centers in the body, in particular, when youbring it to the crown, there's, like, profound
mystical experiences that can open up throughthis.
(29:45):
And it really it was eye opening for me interms of, my spiritual path.
Like, wow.
This is available to me.
This is the second book in the series.
So these are workbooks on masculinity, and,they correspond to different archetypes.
(30:05):
So the first book was called the organicmasculine, and it's on the archetype of the
magician.
This book just published, and it's on thearchetype of the warrior.
It it's a big book.
It covers a lot of information.
One of as I was going through what I wanted toshare and where it belonged in which book, I at
(30:26):
first, I put the non ejaculatory orgasmpractice in the lover, which will be my next
book.
And then I realized that it was actually mywarrior with my dedication and my focus who
taught me how to get this practice, and thenthe lover was more of my relational realm.
So the job of the warrior is to integrate ourprimal drives.
(30:49):
And in this book, I talk about violence andaggression and then sexuality.
We wanna integrate those so that we can choosehow to use them in our lives for good, and
that's the the core component.
So I spend a good chunk of time giving all ofthe yoga, meditation, breath work, self
pleasure practices for non ejaculatory orgasm,and then I do a whole other exploration around
(31:12):
male violence And why is it that men arecausing most of the violence in the world
today, and what can we do about that?
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
Please don't keep me a secret.
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
And one of my challenges was I wouldn't lastvery long, in sex.
I would last five minutes, maybe ten minutes.
When I was growing up, I was watching porn, andI was kind of like quiet and I didn't wanna get
caught and so I would masturbate as quickly aspossible.
And I was training my body, my arousal system,my nervous system to get erect and then come
(00:26):
quickly and then be done.
Right?
Yeah.
We wanna retrain that pattern.
Not everybody has that, but we wanna retrain itso we can hang out aroused for as long as we
want.
I can have this energetic peak of pleasure thatdoes not have to have anything to do with my
(00:51):
cock rhythmically pumping and ejecting fluid.
Once I get the energetic peak, I can have thoseagain and again and again, the same way similar
to how women's arousal can work, where womencan have orgasm after orgasm.
Men, we can learn this too.
So that's pretty cool.
A scale from zero to 10.
Where zero is no arousal and 10 is peak orgasm.
(01:15):
We wanna find five to seven on the arousalrange.
So five is high enough that you're not going toslip into not being aroused anymore.
Seven is far enough below the top that there'sa safe buffer in case there's a wave and you
don't spill over.
Slowly, slowly, I started to feel energy in mybody and it was like, woah, this is a real
(01:37):
thing.
In my book, I lay out five steps to orgasmicmastery and the first step is one of the
benefits for men when you get this is you havemore focus and energy.
But also the sex levels up in ways that I couldnot have comprehended.
(02:01):
Hey, Matt.
Welcome to the Livedo Lounge.
I'm so excited you are here.
Tell us a little bit about yourself and abouthow you got into the world of supporting the
masculine and helping men with non ejaculatoryorgasms.
Awesome, Diane.
Thanks so much for having me.
I'm stoked to be here.
I coach men around sexuality, and I do a lot ofwork around masculinity.
(02:24):
It's one of the big passions in my life.
I'm also trained as a somatic therapist, so Ibring, like, more of a trauma informed and
attachment informed approach to this method.
For me personally, learning non ejaculatoryorgasms was, a, one of the most challenging
things I've ever done, and, b, one of the mostrewarding things.
(02:46):
It completely changed my life, not just interms of having better sex, but how I showed up
as a man.
And so I'm super passionate about sharing thesepractices and helping other men, supporting
other men to make the same journey because it'sa big one.
This is huge.
This is so huge, everybody.
(03:06):
We are gonna have, I think, the most one of themost deep discussions on this show around men
that we have had to date because, you know,it's a common thing.
Right?
When, like, I think when I have mentioned thisto men, this conversation around non
ejaculatory orgasms, I think a lot of men, forone, are are like, I can even do that?
Like, that's even possible?
(03:27):
Right?
Mhmm.
So we're gonna talk about a lot of thingstoday.
We're gonna talk about techniques.
We're gonna talk about your story.
We're gonna talk about what even is a nonejaculatory orgasm.
Like, how does that even feel?
Is it same feeling as a good orgasm as aregular orgasm, or is it a I should say
regular.
Is it an ejaculatory orgasm?
So I know you said that, like, it's really oneof things you had said is it really helped you
(03:50):
show up differently as a man.
So tell tell us a little bit about yourjourney.
Like, prior to even learning what you're gonnateach and talk about today, prior to even you
know, writing this great book that we're gonnatalk about today that you just published and
released prior to any of this, how did you evenbegin to even learn about this concept, and
(04:10):
what was your process to say, yes, this isimportant to me.
I've got to learn how to do this.
Yeah.
Great.
So my path is I was a pretty average guy.
I had a corporate job.
Sex was something that I cared about but wasn'tparticularly good at.
I didn't really have a bunch of tools orsupport, kind of average.
(04:34):
You know?
I struggled with a lot of shame from myCatholic upbringing.
I had a little bit of sexual trauma in my past.
So, anyway, I took a gap year off from my job,and I went traveling and volunteering around
Asia.
And, randomly, my partner and I ended up at atantra retreat in Thailand.
We didn't know anything about it.
(04:54):
We just showed up, and we were reallystruggling with our sex life.
We were not meeting each other.
We were trying.
It was like butting heads in crisis mode, tothe point where we thought we were gonna break
up.
And then we roll into this retreat, and hereare all these humans who are investing in their
(05:14):
sexuality.
There's all these tools and practices, andthere's a whole different framework than what I
grew up with, the idea that our sexuality issacred and that these bodies are holy and that
we wanna welcome our desires as part of ourlife force energy that flows through us.
And all of this for me, like, decade ago wasjust like click, click, click.
(05:36):
Wow.
Wow.
And most importantly, it was like, okay.
I'm gonna take these practices, and I'm gonnastart using them.
And one of my challenges was I wouldn't lastvery long, in sex.
I would last five minutes, maybe ten minutes.
And so they were like, well, slow down,breathe, feel your body.
(05:58):
And the first time we like, very simple.
And the first time we tried this, I had sexwith my partner for forty five minutes, and and
both of us were crying at the end.
We're like, oh my god.
I can't believe this is happening.
And for me, it was a reorientation around sexjust being what my body did to starting to have
some sovereign choice around how I show upsexually.
(06:20):
So that's where I got my start.
And then I was in.
I was enrolled, and I was like, they wereteaching yoga.
Oh, yoga is not just a stretching fad.
It's actually, like, a practice that willsupport me to have better sex.
Sweet.
I'm in.
That's awesome.
And then my partner and I started having adaily sexual practice where we really focused.
(06:42):
We had the time and space in our lives to godeep with each other.
And in making it a practice, I was able toretrain my arousal response, my nervous system,
and my whole body.
And we talk about orgasm being energy.
At the beginning, I was like, I don't getenergy.
I'm a I'm a mathematician.
That was what my college degree was.
(07:02):
I don't understand energy because you can'tmeasure it.
Slowly, slowly, I started to feel energy in mybody, and it was like, woah.
This is a real thing.
And I can start to work with it.
And, wow, some really awesome results happen,not only for my partner, she was, like, stoked,
but also for me, so much started to unlock inmy body.
(07:23):
So that's what got me on the path, And thenthat passion has just carried forward.
Once I learned it, I was like, okay, peopleneed to know about this.
I love it.
And I love the the experience of you know, justlike the experiencing energy for the first
time.
One of my Mhmm.
Doctorates is in acupuncture and orientalmedicine.
So while I have studied a little tantra, not alot, I'm definitely not a deep tantra person,
(07:47):
I've studied qigong for a couple decades, whichis a different version of movement of energy.
And that first time, I remember feeling, like,truly how we'd how how I would define it at
least after all these years of study.
And, like like, realize it's real.
Right?
Realize this thing that we can't actually see,right, is actually very real and that we can
(08:10):
utilize this to help ourselves feel better, tofeel more relaxed, or to feel more energized,
and then to tie that into sex.
I just I think it these types of processesreally show us the innate capacity of the human
body to not only heal, but to, like, show uppresent, fully, fully, fully present.
I think we go through, like, some of your whenI'm listening to your story, it's made me think
(08:33):
that, like, the way we go through sex, right,as humans so many times is just this almost,
like, unilateral.
I'm in this one zone.
This is my zone, and I stay in my zone, andthat's what I do.
And your, you know, your story is like openingup so much around, like, the capacity of the of
the human to experience so many more sensationsand so many more so much more pleasure if we
(08:57):
start opening up, like, our our zone orapproach beyond this, like, very linear
direction.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So one of the places where I love to start thisconversation is around orgasm versus
ejaculation.
Like,
Sure.
Let's do it.
From the very beginning is orgasm for me is thepleasurable pleasurable sensations that I'm
(09:19):
having in my body, and I would say it's asubtle energy sensation.
And then ejaculation is the biological process,the physiological process of pumping sperm out
of the penis.
And in all of the porn that I ever watchedgrowing up, in all of the pop culture, in every
conversation I ever had, it was just assumedthat they went together.
(09:41):
That was one phenomenon.
Right.
And so the first step is just to, like,conceptually be like, okay.
I can have this energetic peak of pleasure thatdoes not have to have anything to do with my
cock rhythmically pumping and ejecting, fluid.
(10:03):
That we wanna learn how to split those.
And then once I get the energetic peak, I canhave those again and again and again, the same
way similar to how women's arousal can work,where women can have orgasm after orgasm.
Men, we can learn this too.
So that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
The multi orgasmic man.
Mhmm.
Right.
(10:25):
Okay.
Beautiful.
So then from that standpoint so now we've,like, helped people understand this.
Right?
Now we've helped people understand that this isnot necessarily one and the same, that are
these two separate processes.
I think probably one of the things that comesup probably commonly for men, right, is, well,
how do I control that?
(10:47):
Right?
How do I begin, like you know, once I, like,start feeling pleasure, how do I begin to
control this?
And I know you and I talked offline about theconcept of edging, right, and that being one of
the ways potentially to control this, to say,hey, I'm gonna feel pleasure, but not actually
take it all the way to, like, ejaculation.
(11:08):
But that still doesn't, you know, tell me, likelike, where, from a standpoint of control, how
do I prevent or how does a man prevent
Mhmm.
Actually going all the way to ejaculation andjust experiencing the pleasure and the the
subtle sensations that orgasm allows?
That's such a great question.
(11:28):
And in my book, I lay out five steps to,orgasmic mastery, and the first step is arousal
control.
I don't know if you know that, but control is,like, where we begin.
So I start everybody who I work with.
And for me personally, the last decade I'vebeen doing this, I have a daily self pleasure
practice.
Mhmm.
And that self pleasure practice is myopportunity to feel pleasure in my body, to
(11:54):
give the opportunity for arousal to be here andorgasm to be here, but it's not a goal oriented
practice.
It's just I'm breathing deeply, connecting withmy body every day.
And this is a solo practice.
Correct?
Solo practice, for me to be with me.
And then whatever yummy goodness you know, if Ihave a partner right now, I have a partner.
I get to bring that to her.
(12:16):
But it's it's really about cultivating it inmyself.
So the first step, arousal control for myprocess, if you could imagine that a scale from
zero to 10, where zero is no arousal and 10 ispeak orgasm Yeah.
We wanna find five to seven on the arousalrange.
(12:38):
So five is high enough that you're not going toslip into not being aroused anymore.
Seven is far enough below the top that there'sa safe buffer in case there's a wave and you
don't spill over.
Mhmm.
So for most of us, like, the five to sevenrange, we call it kinda call it flyover
territory.
We just wanna cruise right past that to get tothe yummier stuff.
(13:00):
Feeling yummy.
We want it to feel yummier.
Right?
But, actually, there's a really rich playgroundin the five to seven range.
And then learning how to hang out there And ifyou can hang out there you know, I've tested
this.
You can go hours being aroused and just be inthat zone.
Right?
(13:20):
So when I was growing up, I was watching porn,and I was kind of, like, quiet.
I didn't wanna get caught, and so I wouldmasturbate as quickly as possible.
And I was training my body, my arousal system,my nervous system to get erect and then come
quickly and then be done.
Right?
(13:40):
Yeah.
We wanna retrain that pattern.
Not everybody has that, but we wanna retrain itso we can hang out aroused for as long as we
want.
So that's, like, the first practice is justtouch your body, breathe deeply, feel pleasure,
hang out in that five to seven band.
So a couple questions from that.
So one, do you feel then when we're talkingabout, say, this pleasure practice, right, and
(14:05):
we're talking about masturbation, do you feelthen that people and I think this is a common
practice, right, where people's masturbationpractice looks generally the same.
Like, you know, usually from what I've seen instudies, women tend to have their range of a
few different ways they masturbate, but it'slike it's like in this narrow range, and and
men often too.
And so and it does, you know, typically lookfor people with masturbation.
(14:29):
Most commonly, it's like it's to get the orgasmjob done.
Right?
It's like we're here.
We're here for remission, and it's very, veryshort.
Do you feel then with what you've seen in inyour research and your work that when we are
masturbating in this way, are we then settingourselves up where this arousal length, it's
(14:51):
harder to achieve that arousal length with apartner.
Completely.
So if I only touch myself one specific way formy pleasure, and then if my partner doesn't
touch me in that one specific way, I may notget aroused.
And I've spoken to like, I've had thisexperience myself personally, but I've also
(15:12):
coached other men where they're like, I haveerectile dysfunction.
Well, in what cases, you know, with with yourpartner, but on your own, you don't.
And so you're touching yourself in one way, butyour partner's not doing that.
There's the disconnect right there.
So in your self pleasure practice, expand yourrange.
We are capable of so many different flavors ofpleasure from the lightest little tickling
(15:38):
teasing touch to, like, rough grabbing toscratching and pulling.
Get into the full expression of what your bodycan do, and that's going to allow you to bring
that into your lovemaking with your partner.
Completely agree.
Okay.
So my second question so that clears that up.
Then my second question for you is when we'rethinking about this scale, right, this this
(16:03):
Mhmm.
10 scale, and we're saying five to seven iskind of this really lovely zone that gets
passed over, I've seen situations where it'shelpful, and I'm like, all sit almost all
situations, I feel like communication is reallyimportant.
But I've seen situations where couples haveexperimented with things such as saying, like,
okay.
I'm at a five.
(16:23):
I'm at a seven.
Like, do you bring in some of the work that youdo, like, with partner play, like, with this
scale where a partner can be like, okay.
This is where I'm at.
Here's where I'm at on the scale, and thenutilize that to almost inform the partner so it
becomes less of a, you know, say, unilateralprocess where, like, say, the man is holding
(16:44):
his pleasure in the five to seven and more of acombined process that we get to experience
together where the they're getting feedback,and maybe the woman's even changing what she's
doing to help hold him in the five to seven.
Is that part of it as well?
Completely.
I'm so happy that you're speaking to thispoint.
Communication.
So if you decide to take this practice on, it'sa big undertaking as a guy for most of us.
(17:09):
It takes a lot of discipline, a lot of control,and a lot of practice.
If you have a partner, you need to tell yourpartner, hey.
I wanna learn this thing, and you need toenroll your partner in this process together
with you.
You both have to be on the same page.
And there's gonna be a a phase of, like, kindof learning how to drive a stick shift vehicle
(17:30):
for the first time where we're rewiringeverything.
Like, oh, well, stop.
Okay.
Now go.
Oh, alright.
And so it can be a little bit awkward to stayin that zone.
If your partner doesn't know that you're tryingto do this, it can be hurtful for your like,
emotionally hurtful, or your partner may notfeel your full energy coming in in the same
way.
And so, yeah, you it's essential in my book tohave that conversation.
(17:54):
And then if your partner is on board to belike, yeah, I wanna, like, play in this zone
with you, and I wanna learn this practice withyou, then great.
That is actually the key to success.
Okay.
So this is really exciting, and I think one ofthe things that I can feel that people might be
thinking about, right, because it's so commonto hear this and be like, well, this sounds
(18:17):
great.
This sounds like I could provide more pleasurefor my partner and I could last longer, I think
those are probably conclusions people arealready getting up getting from our
conversation.
Mhmm.
That being said, I know there's so many otherbenefits, and I find that as humans, most of
the time when we know that, like, what thebenefits are and what, you know, what the the
(18:38):
purpose is and all of the purpose is, it canbecome a higher level of interesting to say,
yeah.
This is, like you said, this is a practice.
This will take time.
So I think going through and understanding somemore of the benefits could really help people
understand, like, oh, yeah.
This is actually, you know, worth it for themand for their, you know, their partner to put
this energy into it because it is a process.
(18:59):
So so tell us a little bit more about, like,since, you know, you've been doing this, since
you've coached others Mhmm.
In this, what are you seeing from a benefitstandpoint?
Right.
Okay.
So first little tidbit, a very interesting datapoint.
A few years back, I got interested in talkingto women whose partners had learned this skill.
And I was like, what's the best part of yourman having this practice?
(19:23):
And I was surprised, but then it made completesense that almost unilaterally what I heard
back is there's no more agenda aroundejaculation during sex.
There's not that pressure Nice.
Have the goal.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I I talk about that a lot in my work tooaround, like, we gotta take this this goal off
(19:45):
the table.
This goalpost really brings us out of thepresent moment, but I hadn't thought about that
in terms of this non ejaculatory orgasm, thatthat completely changes that whole mindset from
that standpoint.
Completely changes it.
Right.
So that's the feedback I got from partners onthe other side of it.
(20:05):
I have talked to many, many men who have gonethrough this initiation, and this is true for
me.
The biggest thing was actually that I wasn'texpelling my life force through my semen, and
that gave me an incredible amount of energy andfocus.
(20:26):
It was like this fog lifted from my system, andI could see clearly.
And I would wake up every morning, and I wouldknow what to do, and I would go do it.
And when I'm ejaculating, there's amount anamount of life force energy that gets given
away that then my body has to replenish.
Yeah.
And because I started masturbating when I wasin fifth grade, you know, however 12 years old,
(20:50):
something like that, I had no baseline.
And I, you know, I would masturbate once a dayfor all the way through to my late twenties, so
I did not know what this was costing me.
And then once I stopped, it was actually like,oh, wow.
How do I even deal with all of the energy thatI now have available?
The vitality that's flowing through my system.
(21:10):
And this is how we this is, like, how ourbodies naturally operate when we're not
expending that energy.
Yeah.
In in Chinese medicine, we call that jing.
I I imagine you know Sure.
Jing as the term.
So life force.
And we talk a lot about that.
Right?
That there's a certain, like, essence that wecome into this world within.
There's almost this this this lack of abilityto, say, regenerate some level of this,
(21:35):
especially for men according to some of thetheories.
So my question for you is this, because anotherthing that I've seen in with men, and I'll
bring up my partner here, is that there arecertain times where it's like there can be all
of this this energy and this intensity.
My my partner's a really, really amazinglylike, I love he's masculinely intense in, like,
(21:58):
the best way.
And sometimes when he is, like, working reallyhard and pushing real hard, this intensity kind
of, like, builds up, and he's really good atholding it in.
And the process of ejaculation and he's very heknows how to edge, and he knows how to do all
so we can have these long, like, three hourlovemaking sessions.
Mhmm.
So he's gotten that down, but this process ofthis not this not ejaculating like, what I
(22:23):
think about him is, like, after in these timeswhere it's like, oh my gosh, like, just needing
that release and needing to to almost, like,take, say, some of that yang energy down and to
ground it, it's really healing for him, theejaculation process.
So Yeah.
You know, so I wanted to bring that into thisconversation around.
(22:43):
So so the question is then, like, when like, doyou find then with these these non ejaculatory
orgasms, like, they're still, like, reallyimportant health benefits to the orgasm itself?
And if so, then where are you seeing, the thetiming is, like or the the reasons to say, hey.
This time I'm gonna do these practices, do myarousal lengthening practice, do all these
(23:07):
different things, the five step process of yourbook, to to at least get to that pleasure zone
so it lasts longer, so I can have a longerlovemaking session.
So where do you see it's like, okay.
We have a longer lovemaking session, and, yeah,it's it's gonna be time to orgasm without
ejaculating versus, hey.
Now is actually a really good time to orgasmwith ejaculating.
(23:30):
You understand that question?
I completely understand the question.
So the idea with these practices, the phrase Ilike to use is ejaculatory choice.
Mhmm.
So rather than the the ejaculation being theunconscious drive for me into sex and then it's
kind of owning my behavior, I get to be reallyconsciously and intentional in how I do that.
(23:56):
As I've talked to men, I've been astounded byhow different, how unique each person's sexual
system is.
So I share these are the practices that workfor me, and I invite men to be a scientist with
their body and their system to explore.
Yeah.
I love that phrase.
Yeah.
Totally.
(24:16):
So I have gone over a year without ejaculating.
Mhmm.
It and to be specific here, it's not I wasn'tsexual.
It was I was in my self pleasure practice, andI was connecting with other people.
So I was stimulating my arousal the whole timeand not ejaculating.
And I went over a year.
My body felt great.
(24:36):
You know, there's an adjustment period.
I've also been in a period where once a month,when my partner was on her moon, I would share
my semen, and it was a beautiful, like, deep,like, shamanic, powerful ceremony that we did.
And it would cost me something.
I would feel like, okay.
I'm giving my life force, and I'm dedicating itinto my relationship here.
(24:59):
So there's not a right.
There's not a wrong.
It's feel into where this lands for you and trya bunch of different things.
There's one other piece that I want to sharehere, which is important for me.
I have looked at the academic research aroundprostate health.
Mhmm.
And as far as I can tell, there's not aconsensus around ejaculatory frequency with
(25:22):
prostate health.
Some articles say, yes.
You should ejaculate more and clean out thesystem.
Other articles say, no.
It doesn't make a difference.
And so I haven't been able to find anyconsensus on this.
And without that consensus, it's just stay withwhat feels right for your body.
Yeah.
Sadly, I think there's so many things in thesexual health world that we just don't have the
(25:45):
number of studies we need and the clarity onthese studies to really form form a consensus.
And I do agree that with any of these things,it's like we have to follow our own body and
our own feeling.
Mhmm.
Mhmm.
So it sounds like, like the for your ownpersonal experience, when you actually, after
going this period and not ejaculating and thencoming back and deciding that you were going to
(26:08):
ejaculate just in this very, very special sweetmoment with your partner when she was on her
moon.
So in this scenario, like, does she like, I'mcurious, and if it's too, like, personal for
her, I wanna, you know, obviously respect herspace.
I'm curious I'm curious, though, if she'sshared with you, and this feels, appropriate to
share when she like, if she has, like, noticedanything different from her experience saying,
(26:32):
like, okay.
This has not happened.
And then this one sacred time a month that thisis, you know, this is gonna be the way that you
guys share this energy.
Does has she noticed anything in particularthere?
So this was a few years ago with a a formerpartner, and what I can share is that it was
really powerful for both of us.
(26:54):
Like, when we were doing it, it's vulnerableand meaningful, and and there's, like, some
alchemy that happens on the the body substancelevel when we connect it in that way.
And it for me, it took my bond deeper with her.
Yeah.
It was amazing.
(27:16):
And offering you know, it's it's not justoffering my seed.
I'm offering my life force, and I'm dedicatingit into the connection of our relationship.
And that's just, like, ugh, melts my heart.
It's such a beautiful way to be in devotion.
Yeah.
There's so much, yeah, I think spiritual,mental, emotional, and obviously physical, but
(27:36):
it's like it brings a level of closeness thatis way way more than just, like, one levels one
level of closeness.
Totally.
I've also done a practice of offering, like,going outside into nature and offering my seed
to the land.
(27:57):
Mhmm.
And that's a super cool way to connect with thethe natural world.
And we we you know, our culture, we suffer froma disconnection from nature, and that practice
really brought me in deep.
So it opened the door for for more ways for meto be intentional with my body and my
sexuality, which has been pretty cool.
(28:17):
Yeah.
I've known quite a few females over the yearsthat have done that with their menstrual blood.
So it's, and that can be oftentimes in thefeminine a a way of creating, like, ceremony
and connection and just kinda recentering withthe earth and any intentions and, yeah, just
just creating that almost more alignment withwith nature and the world around us.
(28:40):
And I think it's like, you know, in Chinesemedicine, we talk a lot about, like, the
microcosm and the macrocosm and that themacrocosm's nature and the world is all these
things around us and that the same types ofenergy that we see and the wood growing strong
in the earth and the way the rivers cut throughthe forest and all these things, the the the
movement and the the energy behind these thingswe actually have in our body.
(29:04):
So I think those kind of practices bring usback to, you know, the
Absolutely.
I agree.
I wanna circle back around to the benefitsbecause I said the one of the benefits for men
when you get this is you have more focus andenergy.
But, also, the sex levels up in ways that Icould not have comprehended.
(29:24):
Having orgasm after orgasm after orgasm issuper cool.
Getting into extended rolling orgasmic states,having the orgasm move through different energy
centers in the body, in particular, when youbring it to the crown, there's, like, profound
mystical experiences that can open up throughthis.
(29:45):
And it really it was eye opening for me interms of, my spiritual path.
Like, wow.
This is available to me.
This is the second book in the series.
So these are workbooks on masculinity, and,they correspond to different archetypes.
(30:05):
So the first book was called the organicmasculine, and it's on the archetype of the
magician.
This book just published, and it's on thearchetype of the warrior.
It it's a big book.
It covers a lot of information.
One of as I was going through what I wanted toshare and where it belonged in which book, I at
(30:26):
first, I put the non ejaculatory orgasmpractice in the lover, which will be my next
book.
And then I realized that it was actually mywarrior with my dedication and my focus who
taught me how to get this practice, and thenthe lover was more of my relational realm.
So the job of the warrior is to integrate ourprimal drives.
(30:49):
And in this book, I talk about violence andaggression and then sexuality.
We wanna integrate those so that we can choosehow to use them in our lives for good, and
that's the the core component.
So I spend a good chunk of time giving all ofthe yoga, meditation, breath work, self
pleasure practices for non ejaculatory orgasm,and then I do a whole other exploration around
(31:12):
male violence And why is it that men arecausing most of the violence in the world
today, and what can we do about that?
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
Please don't keep me a secret.
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
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