June 26, 2025 • 30 mins
Are you unintentionally sabotaging your own pleasure and bed satisfaction? In this video, we're exploring the common mistakes people make when chasing pleasure, and how these pleasure pitfalls can hold you back from achieving true fulfillment. From misguided expectations to unhealthy habits, we're diving into the most frequent errors that prevent individuals from experiencing the pleasure and satisfaction they deserve. By recognizing and overcoming these pleasure pitfalls, you can unlock a more satisfying and enjoyable life. Tune in to discover how to break free from these common mistakes and start living the life you truly desire.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
You get to experience different types ofpleasure.
(00:03):
The clitoral orgasm feels different than acervical orgasm.
Feels different from a g spot orgasm.
Feels different from an anal orgasm.
One of the things that's unique about thecervix is it has three of those major nerve
pathways that run through it.
I think what's really unique about the cervixand other zones internally is it's like the
(00:27):
cervix requires so much stillness and slowness.
I think probably more so than maybe any otherregion in the body in order for it to unfurl.
And that is such a great actual spiritualconcept of like here's this is like where
sacred sex really gets its juice, is it forcesus to settle into the moment, into presence, to
(00:50):
be sensitive, to pay attention, to to measurewhat's happening in the system, and you can't
do that if you're going fast.
Or if you have a goal, like I'm trying to getsomewhere.
One of the principles of tantra is we're goingso fast, it's hard to feel the the moment that
we're in and, you know, we use that wordpresence a lot.
(01:11):
But what does it even mean to be present?
It really means, like, we have these fivefabulous senses.
Right?
So we've got these doorways to the presentmoment.
So which doorway is, like, the one for you?
(01:32):
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(01:55):
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Now back to our show.
(02:18):
Hi, Lounge members and listeners.
I am so excited for another episode on ourpodcast.
I'm doctor Diane, your board certifiedsexologist and libido doctor, and I have a
treat for you today, everybody.
We are talking about all sorts of things.
We're talking about cervical orgasms, we'retalking about how to master male sexual energy,
(02:39):
we're talking about the women's arousal map andhow this map can actually expand pleasure,
orgasms, and so many more things.
And we're gonna get into all sorts of things inpart two of the exclusive content as well.
We're gonna talk about things such as how tohave non ejaculatory orgasms for males, how to
(02:59):
use tantra and energy and other forms ofancient traditions to bring your pleasure,
heighten your pleasure, heighten your closenessconnection, use sex for healing, for connection
to God and energy and whatever you call thatforce, and so much more.
So here, to help us with our journey, I havetwo special guests, and new friends of mine.
(03:20):
I have Leah Piper and Doctor.
Willow Brown.
So welcome to the Libido Lounge, you two.
I'm so happy to be here with you.
Likewise.
Yeah.
Such a pleasure, doctor Diane.
We're excited.
I'm happy
to have you.
So let's let's jump in.
Let's let's start with this cervical orgasmquestion and component.
And I feel like, like in unpacking cervicalorgasms, I feel like we have to unpack a few
(03:44):
things because I think one thing is, okay, whatare cervical orgasms?
How do they differentiate between, you know,say other types of orgasms?
And then I think this is a very scary thing fora lot of women, especially because I know many
women when they've had deeper types ofpenetration, it can be painful.
(04:05):
You know, like the cervix is not touched muchother than our gyno exams and childbirth And
the Or
be vague up against when someone's Yeah.
Trading you too deep too soon.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So let's talk, like, high level.
Let's start with, like, cervical orgasms.
Why should we even care?
(04:26):
Leah, do you wanna give us a head start?
Well, one of the things that's so powerfulabout them is they have three nerve pathways
that carry three different types of pleasure upto the brain.
You have the hypogastric nerve, you have thepelvic nerve, and you have the vagus nerve.
Now, these nerves are also found in othererogenous zones.
(04:46):
So, what's really cool about female pleasure isthat when you stimulate these different areas
that are erogenous zones that are connected todifferent nerve plexuses, you get to experience
different types of pleasure.
The clitoral orgasm feels different than acervical orgasm.
Feels different from a G Spot orgasm.
Feels different from an anal orgasm.
(05:09):
So one of the things that's unique about thecervix is it has three of those major nerve
pathways that run through it.
So it's a very profound type of release.
It's often a full body release.
And because the Vagus Nerve runs through it, ithas an ability to really open your heart.
You know, the Vagus Nerve is the wanderingnerve and it's the only nerve plexus that runs
(05:32):
up the front of the body to the brain.
These other nerves run through the spine.
And so, when we talk about the vagus nerve andits pleasure potential, people will liken it to
the crygasm, or to the heartgasm.
So, there's something very unique about thecervical orgasm that opens up these vulnerable
centers.
So women often are so touched and overwhelmedby the pleasure that arises here that they they
(05:59):
cry.
They're like melting.
There's a feeling of transcendence.
And also because it is a very sensitive placethat is often felt beat up with too much
friction, there's a particular type of touchthat's slow, that's more of a thumping, that is
required for the cervix to really open up todeeper pleasure.
(06:21):
And I would just add that it also requires ahigher level of arousal, because when we're at
peak levels of arousal, the cervix and theuterus actually contract upward, making more
space for deeper penetration.
Which is why when we're getting banged toofast, too deep, too early, we're not at a
proper arousal level for that to feel good.
(06:43):
So there's lots of, like, nuances to achievingthis type of climax.
Yeah.
And one thing I would add is well, I would addsome things, but one thing that comes to mind
off the top of my head is, like, this is reallythe the full Harris Gamos union, like, the
masculine and feminine coming together.
Because if if you're in a heterosexualexperience with a cervical orgasm, the the
(07:08):
glands, the head of the penis, which issynonymous to the heart center, your the the
penis has all this reflexology on it, and sodoes the vagina, has all this reflexology
throughout it according to Taoism.
And so when you're when you've got that glandway back in and and connecting either
(07:29):
energetically or physically with the cervicalos, that's where the heart region is for the
female as well.
And so you're really that's why also a reason,not the vagus nerve, yes, but also because of
this reflexology of these sexual organs.
And so when that when that opening starts tohappen, it's like you you drop out of the
(07:54):
dualistic mindset.
You drop into this, state of oneness, and thatvagus nerve keeps that oneness, like, rising
all the way through the belly, through the gut,through the heart, through the throat, and,
really expands the experience, of of what itmeans to be present in the moment and to be in
(08:15):
a
state of powerful potent receptivity.
Because when we're looking at the physical,aspect of this nerve, the vagus nerve, you
know, it's running right through the yinchannel, right through that receptive channel
in your body.
So there's there's all these amazing physicalcomponents to the cervical orgasm, and there's
(08:36):
all these esoteric and and sort of moremetaphysical components to it as well.
And, one thing that I've really had to, trainmyself and and kind of come to with
experiencing these types of orgasms is that II'm the one moving.
(08:56):
I'm the one in charge, the the penis owner orthe dildo or whatever it is.
It needs to just be still and steady, not a lotof movement, maybe some energetic pulsing.
But because of the sensitivity of the cervix,I've got to kind of find that that tip and find
that meeting point and then just kind ofmassage my cervical os around it so that it can
(09:22):
start to spread and open.
And they say in Taoism, you know, wombgasms arethe highest form of superior orgasms that we
could have, and the cervical orgasm isbasically a wombgasm.
It's just it's reverberating the you know, thecervix is the nose of your womb, so it's gonna
(09:43):
reverberate up through that entire organ, whichis very much connected and related to the
heart.
Again, why we get these deep, emotional,powerful releases when we're able to experience
those kinds of orgasms.
Yeah.
I think it's there's so much to be said aboutthe awe, and then I feel like the awe when I
(10:04):
read stories about other people that have hadthese it's like the most common story I hear is
like the awe.
And that's certainly my own experience.
I remember the first time I had one of theseorgasms, it was almost like it was like so out
of body, meaning like dissolving intonothingness.
That the only other time I've really achievedthat is through, like, the depths of meditation
(10:28):
around.
But it's, like, very different than that, butthere's still a similarity of, like, dissolving
into that that nothingness and reallyconnecting to something so far beyond our body.
So in, like, in beginning to experience, forwomen that are like, okay, and and their
partners that are beginning to experiencewanting to work with us, you've I think you've
(10:48):
said some good things already, like, we have togo slow.
We have to allow for that time, for thatvaginal lengthening, like, what you're saying
around maybe you being, you know, the femalebeing more in control and, like like,
controlling the points of the cervix that'smaybe being touched and and, stimulated.
(11:08):
Beyond that though, are there any other tipsthat you have?
And especially if, like, people are used tothis, like, deeper penetration where it's like,
ow, that hurts, and their only other memory oftheir cervix being touched is through other
painful experiences like pap smears andchildbirth.
If there's this history, like, wow, there'slike like like, this does not feel awesome.
(11:32):
Do you have advice on, like, where to start andhow to actually, say, unwind the cervix or as,
you know, as some people say, relax the cervix,or start to deep pattern the cervix, so that it
actually can experience this type of pleasure?
Yeah, one of the techniques that I often useworking with people is, is this a visual
(11:54):
podcast or is it only audible?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, if you could see my hand, I'm kind ofmaking a cone shape with my fingers pointing
down.
And so, you can go inside and with either onefinger or two, you gently caress the cervix and
you're just feeling and melting the tissue.
You're going really really slow, you'renoticing the shape.
(12:15):
Some women will feel bruising, even likeindentations where the cervix is actually a
little misshapen.
Even if someone's cervix has been removed, youcan imagine that you're gently stroking very
slowly the shape of the cone.
And you go around the front, and you go aroundthe back, and then you come lower, and lower,
(12:36):
and lower, until you're massaging the tip.
And, you're just letting that person feel,breathe, and experience any emotions that are
stuck in the tissue.
Because when you've had unconscious touch, oryou've had a traumatic experience, like let's
say you had a really challenging birth, thecells in the tissue are holding all that memory
(12:59):
and we need help unwinding.
So this is true of a lot of various erogenouszones vaginally.
Just because we have it, doesn't mean that it'simmediately awakened.
We actually have to bring conscious touch,conscious energy, conscious attention,
conscious sensitivity, conscious emotionthrough our hands to the tissue to allow some
(13:20):
unwinding of this woman's journey of having avagina and like, have a deep breath, have a
moment that's just for her, to catch up toeverything she's gone through.
To have someone, you know, bear witness, evenif she's the one that's doing it to herself.
Can I just feel myself right now?
And can I pay can I be very present to eachsensation?
(13:45):
And you can find hot spots, burny bits, andowies, and bruises, and and heat, and different
temperatures, and I know for me, there's beentimes too.
Yeah.
Was just gonna say the broken glass phenomenon,where you feel shards, and you just need to
breathe through that, and I always think of itas it's you're unfurling a flower, and so you
just peel back one level of discomfort, and youfind out, well, what's underneath that, and
(14:08):
then you do another layer, and another layer,and eventually, you'll get to your pleasure.
Mhmm.
Yeah.
It's not always orgasmic right off the rightoff the tip.
Rarely.
Yeah.
Orgasm.
With the cervical orgasm.
Yeah.
Very rarely.
It's more I love that, you know, flower analogythat Leah just gave us because it really is
like an unfurling and puddle by puddle.
(14:29):
And, you know, I think if you are going into asexual experience with the agenda to have a
cervical orgasm, you're probably not gonna haveone.
Good luck.
It can be similar to Amrita where it's likethese, you know, certain phenomenons that
happen through a female body, they they arethey are mysterious in nature, and they come
(14:54):
when come.
And so it's more just to really, like, droppinginto the receptivity and staying present.
That was a really key thing that Leah justpointed to is, you know, just like, what what
is this this sensation right here, and whatdoes this sensation require of me in order to
really be with it?
Because this sensation reminds me of the time Iwas molested by my uncle when I was four years
(15:17):
old, and that's not a comfortable place to goto in my body or in my mind.
But if I don't unfurl that pedal, I'm not mostlikely not gonna get to my pleasure.
And I would just add, just a quick
break to let you know that eighty percent ofwomen do not have orgasms from vaginal
intercourse alone.
(15:37):
So many people are not having the type of sexthat is healing, brings them closer, that
brings them more connected, that is full of somuch pleasure and passion that it can build
bones, reduce stress, help serotonin, bringhappiness, lower anxiety, improve sleep, and
build a better connection with your partner.
(15:57):
That is what hot and modern monogamy is, ismodern monogamy that brings in all of that
path.
I think what's really unique about the cervix,and other zones internally, is it's like the
cervix requires so much stillness and slowness.
I think probably more so than maybe any otherregion in the body in order for it to unfurl.
(16:22):
And that is such a great actual spiritualconcept of like, here's this is like where
sacred sex really gets its juice, is it forcesus to settle into the moment, into presence, to
be sensitive, to pay attention, to measurewhat's happening in the system, and you can't
do that if you're going fast.
Or if you have a goal, like, I'm trying to getsomewhere.
(16:44):
This is really about curiosity and a quieting.
So it take it requires a meditative skill setto be able to be that still.
Yeah.
And another thing I wanna say just from theexperience of it for for years now is even
after doing it for years, I I still experiencediscomfort on my way to the pleasure.
(17:05):
You know?
It's like, I have to find that place insidewhere I'm like, okay.
There we are.
We're connected now.
We're in we're in union.
Now we're gonna be in the chi of that union.
But for me, it feels itchy and burny anduncomfortable.
And, yeah, there's a place inside of me thatwants to go away from it and resist it, but
there's another place inside of me that knowsthe value of going into the sensation and into
(17:30):
the feeling.
And even, you know, after, like I said, afteryears of doing the practice, it it doesn't mean
I'm going right to it in this, you know, yearfull of pleasure.
Like, I still have to work my way throughbecause, you know, life keeps happening, and
and we keep storing stuff, issues on ourtissues.
And so we have to really continue to unfurlmoment by moment.
(17:54):
Yeah.
One of the thing you guys have said so manythings I love.
Like, one of the things I really find so muchin my work is that what what's happening in our
intimate life is a mirror in many ways for,like, the expression outside of our intimate
life.
And and I think in in life, we're so often,like, just, like, trying to get out of the
(18:14):
uncomfortable sensation as fast as possible,whether we feel sad or something or angry about
something or, you know, disappointed orwhatever the emotion we're feeling.
And what tends to happen is, like, thosefeelings don't go away.
We just shove them under the rug and then theycome up in some other weird icky way.
And, yeah, I think, like, the exploration ofthe cervix is such a great analogy for, like,
(18:37):
practicing You know, we practice a thing out ofthe bedroom that actually refers us back to the
bed bedroom and vice versa.
And this ability to sit with like, okay, whatis this feeling?
What is this discomfort?
And just sit there and allow whatever feelingit is to have a space and have a voice and have
a feeling is an amazing way to just get it tosoften and move on.
(19:02):
So I'm curious too, especially with, you know,the work around tantra and breath work, and
knowing that we had these connections from ourwound space to a heart and even up to our
pineal gland and to our crown, have you seenthen other things such as any sort of tantra
practice, breath work practice, anything elsehelp to suck in the cervix and Oh, for sure.
(19:26):
Pressure at all?
All of that.
Like, sounding and breathing and knowing how torun energy through your yang meridian, your yin
meridian, you know, all the white tantra thatwe have our students practice.
It really comes into a red tantra experiencewhere you're potentially with a partner, you
know, and playing with how to expand yourcapacity to feel sensation.
(19:52):
Right?
If it's often if we're feeling pain, whetherit's emotional or physical, we contract and we
don't expand.
So, you know, I think one of the beautifulthings about tantra is that we get to expand
into all of it, the good and the bad, the theyummy feelings and the challenging feelings.
(20:12):
And that is how we get to, you know, begin tolive a tantric life where it's like, okay.
Yeah.
Here's this challenge.
Can I expand into it?
You know, here's this beautiful thing.
Can I open even wider into it?
And so, you know, going slow one of theprinciples of tantra is is slow down.
(20:33):
You know?
Because we we in order we're going so fast,it's hard to feel the the moment that we're in.
And, you know, we use that word presence a lot,but what does it even mean to be present?
It really means, like, accessing the sensationsin your body, and we have these five fabulous
(20:53):
senses.
Right?
So we've got these doorways to the presentmoment.
So which doorway is, like, the one for you?
For me, it's my ears.
You know?
Auditory.
Like, if I can really just listen to a singlechirp of a bird in a moment, I'm not in the
past, I'm not in the future, but I'm receivingthat sensation.
(21:13):
So that's another thing that our senses do isthey drop us into receptivity, which is, I like
to say, the feminine's greatest superpower.
You know?
And it's not one that's valued or honored ortaught in our society, so we have to cultivate
that on our own.
So all of the the the Taoist practices, thewhite Tantra practices, all of that will really
(21:36):
come in handy, as we are in that moment withour cervix and the awakening.
Yeah.
I would say that if I could only teach oneTantric thing to help women become a master
lover, it would be having educated pelvic floormuscles.
Because when you are aware and connected, andso for some people, kegel kegels will be maybe
(21:59):
a more familiar terminology, it's doing so manythings to build awareness and to build subtle
movement.
So when you have muscular knowledge and controlover these different muscles in your pelvic
floor, meaning, you know how to separate theanal sphincter muscles from the pubic coccygeus
(22:20):
muscle from the lower abdominal recti muscles,which, we basically all know how to do that,
just someone has to point it out to us.
Then you can start to play your vagina or youryoni like a three string instrument, and it
builds subtle movement.
So it's one of those things that you can do tomake shifts in how you feel yourself
internally, in juxtaposition of feeling someoneelse's attention inside of you.
(22:43):
And it's also when you when you're squeezingthose muscles and you're relaxing them, just
like everything else in life, it has anexpansion and a contraction, just like our
heartbeat.
It expands, it contracts.
So we are a series of expanding and contractingthroughout every sector of our life, including
the operation of our system.
So when you can play your yoni, and really feelthose separation of muscles, in a subtle
(23:08):
movement, or even a greater, more dramaticmovements, you're bringing fresh, oxygenated
blood to the tissue.
That's going to give you more sensation.
You're bringing awareness, which means you'llstart to have, attunement between your mind,
having a mind body connection, and what'shappening within your vagina.
You can shift by contracting, you can pull yourcervix up, by hyper relaxing you can allow your
(23:33):
cervix to drop down.
So, I really love taking people through ameditative process that brings them into a very
deep, close relationship with their pelvicfloor.
And then lastly, to me, it's like a Shakti,juicy pump.
And so if people want a more spiritualconnection to their body, it's one way that
(23:54):
women can really start to harness that thesearen't just the dirty bits.
This is my superpower.
I'm connected to the everything here.
And when I flex and relax my pelvic floor, I amjuicing up my sexual energy so that I'm more
creative, so I have a juicier life, and so thatI'm in control of my turn on.
And so, as you start to have these educatedmuscles, you can get so masterful with them,
(24:19):
that that's all you need to do to bringyourself to orgasm, is just pulse and release
that pelvic floor.
And so, you know, basically every courtesansince the beginning of time knew that.
It's kind of a parlor trick, but it's so muchmore than that.
Well, another thing I wanted to add with whatyour you ladies are both saying is, when we're
(24:39):
talking about, you know, these five senses, andwe're talking about everything to, like, bring
yourself someone's body and feel these things,and even when you're talking about the pelvic
floor and contracting and control, to me, theother thing that I I've been exploring
exploring a lot lately is, like, how much doingall these things actually triggers our bodies
(24:59):
to know it's safe.
Because when we're in, like, a fight or flight,which I think a lot of people are in, and we
have traumas, we have triggers, all thesethings, we can't be in fight or flight and tune
into the subtleties of our body and thecontractions at the same time.
Right?
So I think that that with that that
(25:21):
Very true.
For, you know, for safety in order to go deep,this is also the path for that.
Yeah.
It's a way of telling your tissues, it's okayto be in pleasure.
It's okay to relax.
It's okay to experience joy.
Yeah, it's also okay to be afraid.
Like, can you stay present in the fear, youknow, of being, I don't know, I want you to see
(25:43):
this side of me.
I'm afraid you're gonna think I'm ugly whenthese emotions arise, like, you know, you can
be there for yourself in the rage that needs torelease because you've suppressed it for twenty
five years.
I mean, sometimes that's something that'sblocking your biggest, most outrageous
pleasure.
Exactly.
Which is why it's so good to have a partnerholding space for you.
Yeah.
Because when you are in that fight, flight, orfree state, you can have someone bring you
(26:06):
back, and say, hey, where'd you go?
What's your feeling's okay?
Don't go anywhere, stay with me, you don't haveto feel it alone.
It really takes some of that feeling ofisolation out of these fight, flight, or freeze
responses, when you've got someone who'sholding you through it.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Oh gosh.
I could talk to you ladies forever, and I wannamake sure we have time to talk about you guys
(26:29):
have a really cool pilgrimage coming up toGreece, as well as an amazing adventure, a sex
reimagined adventure to help people really getto their desires and their unspoken questions
and all these things.
So I wanna talk about that, and we're gonnatalk about that in a moment.
And, just to remind everybody, we're gonna goeven deeper here with doctor Willow and Leah in
(26:52):
our exclusive content.
We're gonna talk a little bit about the women'sarousal map.
We're gonna talk about non ejaculatory orgasmsfor men, which I always know is a hot topic.
So we're gonna talk about that, so look forthat in the exclusive content below.
But let's talk before we do that.
Tell us a little bit about this pilgrimage youguys have coming up.
Oh, we're so excited.
(27:13):
Talk about awakening the the divine femininewithin.
We're taking a a group of women to Crete, whichis an island in Greece, and that particular
island is really connected to the divinefeminine, connected to the goddess.
The Minoan culture there is very alive and welland thriving.
(27:33):
So ancient culture, very much connected to thethe Gaia and the primordial goddess, right,
and, like, the original goddess.
Of course, we know there's all those greatamazing Greek goddesses with their archetypes.
So we'll be playing with some of that, butmostly, we'll be there cultivating our own chi.
We'll be doing yoni mapping.
(27:54):
We'll be doing yoni witnessing.
We'll be doing sacred spot release on eachother.
We'll be really holding each other insisterhood as as as this deep sexual awakening
occurs.
And we'll be doing yoga and qigong at thesacred temples and going to the beach and the
gorges and really cultivating the chi of thatisland into our systems and into our bodies.
(28:21):
So it's gonna be a great opportunity for womento just unplug from life and reset their
nervous systems to a whole new path ahead.
I'm really excited.
Yeah.
Sounds like such an amazing place for, like,growth and learning, but also just for
community and balance and healing andrecalibrating.
(28:43):
So, we'll have all of that information on howto sign up you guys in the show notes.
And then tell us about your adventure package.
Yeah.
So we have a free gift for your audience.
If they go to sexreimagined.com/adventure, theycan pick one of three free tantra trainings.
You can do something around sexual obstacles ifyou're struggling with, let's say, ejaculatory
(29:06):
control, or being able to feel your femaleorgasms, that's a great training.
It's totally free, most of the trainings haveabout three to five tutorials.
We've got another section on sexual healing,and then another one on intimacy and
communication.
And if you want all three, we won't stop you.
You can also get all three.
So head over there and, and get started.
(29:28):
You can practice tantra tonight.
Yes.
Yeah.
We can start with baby steps.
Right?
And it's like so many little ways to startmaking big shifts, and all it takes is just
taking that first step and getting started.
So I hope everybody will take doctor Willow andLeah Leah up on these amazing offers.
I hope you'll also check out our exclusiveinterview with them in part two found in the
(29:51):
content below.
And everybody, it's been so great to have youlistening to another episode on The Lounge.
We'll see you all very soon, and thank youladies both for being here with me today.
Oh, what an honor.
Thank you for having us.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
Please don't keep me a secret.
(30:12):
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
You get to experience different types ofpleasure.
(00:03):
The clitoral orgasm feels different than acervical orgasm.
Feels different from a g spot orgasm.
Feels different from an anal orgasm.
One of the things that's unique about thecervix is it has three of those major nerve
pathways that run through it.
I think what's really unique about the cervixand other zones internally is it's like the
(00:27):
cervix requires so much stillness and slowness.
I think probably more so than maybe any otherregion in the body in order for it to unfurl.
And that is such a great actual spiritualconcept of like here's this is like where
sacred sex really gets its juice, is it forcesus to settle into the moment, into presence, to
(00:50):
be sensitive, to pay attention, to to measurewhat's happening in the system, and you can't
do that if you're going fast.
Or if you have a goal, like I'm trying to getsomewhere.
One of the principles of tantra is we're goingso fast, it's hard to feel the the moment that
we're in and, you know, we use that wordpresence a lot.
(01:11):
But what does it even mean to be present?
It really means, like, we have these fivefabulous senses.
Right?
So we've got these doorways to the presentmoment.
So which doorway is, like, the one for you?
(01:32):
Hey, everybody.
Quick break at our episode to talk to you aboutour sponsor, My Libido Doc.
One of the things that we truly believe is thatgreat sex is available to everyone, but we just
have to learn how.
So head over to our site to get your free copyof our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing
(01:55):
Orgasms and Romance.
Get quick and easy tips to turn your sex lifearound, rev up your engines, and fall in deeper
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So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you willfind that e book there for download.
Now back to our show.
(02:18):
Hi, Lounge members and listeners.
I am so excited for another episode on ourpodcast.
I'm doctor Diane, your board certifiedsexologist and libido doctor, and I have a
treat for you today, everybody.
We are talking about all sorts of things.
We're talking about cervical orgasms, we'retalking about how to master male sexual energy,
(02:39):
we're talking about the women's arousal map andhow this map can actually expand pleasure,
orgasms, and so many more things.
And we're gonna get into all sorts of things inpart two of the exclusive content as well.
We're gonna talk about things such as how tohave non ejaculatory orgasms for males, how to
(02:59):
use tantra and energy and other forms ofancient traditions to bring your pleasure,
heighten your pleasure, heighten your closenessconnection, use sex for healing, for connection
to God and energy and whatever you call thatforce, and so much more.
So here, to help us with our journey, I havetwo special guests, and new friends of mine.
(03:20):
I have Leah Piper and Doctor.
Willow Brown.
So welcome to the Libido Lounge, you two.
I'm so happy to be here with you.
Likewise.
Yeah.
Such a pleasure, doctor Diane.
We're excited.
I'm happy
to have you.
So let's let's jump in.
Let's let's start with this cervical orgasmquestion and component.
And I feel like, like in unpacking cervicalorgasms, I feel like we have to unpack a few
(03:44):
things because I think one thing is, okay, whatare cervical orgasms?
How do they differentiate between, you know,say other types of orgasms?
And then I think this is a very scary thing fora lot of women, especially because I know many
women when they've had deeper types ofpenetration, it can be painful.
(04:05):
You know, like the cervix is not touched muchother than our gyno exams and childbirth And
the Or
be vague up against when someone's Yeah.
Trading you too deep too soon.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So let's talk, like, high level.
Let's start with, like, cervical orgasms.
Why should we even care?
(04:26):
Leah, do you wanna give us a head start?
Well, one of the things that's so powerfulabout them is they have three nerve pathways
that carry three different types of pleasure upto the brain.
You have the hypogastric nerve, you have thepelvic nerve, and you have the vagus nerve.
Now, these nerves are also found in othererogenous zones.
(04:46):
So, what's really cool about female pleasure isthat when you stimulate these different areas
that are erogenous zones that are connected todifferent nerve plexuses, you get to experience
different types of pleasure.
The clitoral orgasm feels different than acervical orgasm.
Feels different from a G Spot orgasm.
Feels different from an anal orgasm.
(05:09):
So one of the things that's unique about thecervix is it has three of those major nerve
pathways that run through it.
So it's a very profound type of release.
It's often a full body release.
And because the Vagus Nerve runs through it, ithas an ability to really open your heart.
You know, the Vagus Nerve is the wanderingnerve and it's the only nerve plexus that runs
(05:32):
up the front of the body to the brain.
These other nerves run through the spine.
And so, when we talk about the vagus nerve andits pleasure potential, people will liken it to
the crygasm, or to the heartgasm.
So, there's something very unique about thecervical orgasm that opens up these vulnerable
centers.
So women often are so touched and overwhelmedby the pleasure that arises here that they they
(05:59):
cry.
They're like melting.
There's a feeling of transcendence.
And also because it is a very sensitive placethat is often felt beat up with too much
friction, there's a particular type of touchthat's slow, that's more of a thumping, that is
required for the cervix to really open up todeeper pleasure.
(06:21):
And I would just add that it also requires ahigher level of arousal, because when we're at
peak levels of arousal, the cervix and theuterus actually contract upward, making more
space for deeper penetration.
Which is why when we're getting banged toofast, too deep, too early, we're not at a
proper arousal level for that to feel good.
(06:43):
So there's lots of, like, nuances to achievingthis type of climax.
Yeah.
And one thing I would add is well, I would addsome things, but one thing that comes to mind
off the top of my head is, like, this is reallythe the full Harris Gamos union, like, the
masculine and feminine coming together.
Because if if you're in a heterosexualexperience with a cervical orgasm, the the
(07:08):
glands, the head of the penis, which issynonymous to the heart center, your the the
penis has all this reflexology on it, and sodoes the vagina, has all this reflexology
throughout it according to Taoism.
And so when you're when you've got that glandway back in and and connecting either
(07:29):
energetically or physically with the cervicalos, that's where the heart region is for the
female as well.
And so you're really that's why also a reason,not the vagus nerve, yes, but also because of
this reflexology of these sexual organs.
And so when that when that opening starts tohappen, it's like you you drop out of the
(07:54):
dualistic mindset.
You drop into this, state of oneness, and thatvagus nerve keeps that oneness, like, rising
all the way through the belly, through the gut,through the heart, through the throat, and,
really expands the experience, of of what itmeans to be present in the moment and to be in
(08:15):
a
state of powerful potent receptivity.
Because when we're looking at the physical,aspect of this nerve, the vagus nerve, you
know, it's running right through the yinchannel, right through that receptive channel
in your body.
So there's there's all these amazing physicalcomponents to the cervical orgasm, and there's
(08:36):
all these esoteric and and sort of moremetaphysical components to it as well.
And, one thing that I've really had to, trainmyself and and kind of come to with
experiencing these types of orgasms is that II'm the one moving.
(08:56):
I'm the one in charge, the the penis owner orthe dildo or whatever it is.
It needs to just be still and steady, not a lotof movement, maybe some energetic pulsing.
But because of the sensitivity of the cervix,I've got to kind of find that that tip and find
that meeting point and then just kind ofmassage my cervical os around it so that it can
(09:22):
start to spread and open.
And they say in Taoism, you know, wombgasms arethe highest form of superior orgasms that we
could have, and the cervical orgasm isbasically a wombgasm.
It's just it's reverberating the you know, thecervix is the nose of your womb, so it's gonna
(09:43):
reverberate up through that entire organ, whichis very much connected and related to the
heart.
Again, why we get these deep, emotional,powerful releases when we're able to experience
those kinds of orgasms.
Yeah.
I think it's there's so much to be said aboutthe awe, and then I feel like the awe when I
(10:04):
read stories about other people that have hadthese it's like the most common story I hear is
like the awe.
And that's certainly my own experience.
I remember the first time I had one of theseorgasms, it was almost like it was like so out
of body, meaning like dissolving intonothingness.
That the only other time I've really achievedthat is through, like, the depths of meditation
(10:28):
around.
But it's, like, very different than that, butthere's still a similarity of, like, dissolving
into that that nothingness and reallyconnecting to something so far beyond our body.
So in, like, in beginning to experience, forwomen that are like, okay, and and their
partners that are beginning to experiencewanting to work with us, you've I think you've
(10:48):
said some good things already, like, we have togo slow.
We have to allow for that time, for thatvaginal lengthening, like, what you're saying
around maybe you being, you know, the femalebeing more in control and, like like,
controlling the points of the cervix that'smaybe being touched and and, stimulated.
(11:08):
Beyond that though, are there any other tipsthat you have?
And especially if, like, people are used tothis, like, deeper penetration where it's like,
ow, that hurts, and their only other memory oftheir cervix being touched is through other
painful experiences like pap smears andchildbirth.
If there's this history, like, wow, there'slike like like, this does not feel awesome.
(11:32):
Do you have advice on, like, where to start andhow to actually, say, unwind the cervix or as,
you know, as some people say, relax the cervix,or start to deep pattern the cervix, so that it
actually can experience this type of pleasure?
Yeah, one of the techniques that I often useworking with people is, is this a visual
(11:54):
podcast or is it only audible?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, if you could see my hand, I'm kind ofmaking a cone shape with my fingers pointing
down.
And so, you can go inside and with either onefinger or two, you gently caress the cervix and
you're just feeling and melting the tissue.
You're going really really slow, you'renoticing the shape.
(12:15):
Some women will feel bruising, even likeindentations where the cervix is actually a
little misshapen.
Even if someone's cervix has been removed, youcan imagine that you're gently stroking very
slowly the shape of the cone.
And you go around the front, and you go aroundthe back, and then you come lower, and lower,
(12:36):
and lower, until you're massaging the tip.
And, you're just letting that person feel,breathe, and experience any emotions that are
stuck in the tissue.
Because when you've had unconscious touch, oryou've had a traumatic experience, like let's
say you had a really challenging birth, thecells in the tissue are holding all that memory
(12:59):
and we need help unwinding.
So this is true of a lot of various erogenouszones vaginally.
Just because we have it, doesn't mean that it'simmediately awakened.
We actually have to bring conscious touch,conscious energy, conscious attention,
conscious sensitivity, conscious emotionthrough our hands to the tissue to allow some
(13:20):
unwinding of this woman's journey of having avagina and like, have a deep breath, have a
moment that's just for her, to catch up toeverything she's gone through.
To have someone, you know, bear witness, evenif she's the one that's doing it to herself.
Can I just feel myself right now?
And can I pay can I be very present to eachsensation?
(13:45):
And you can find hot spots, burny bits, andowies, and bruises, and and heat, and different
temperatures, and I know for me, there's beentimes too.
Yeah.
Was just gonna say the broken glass phenomenon,where you feel shards, and you just need to
breathe through that, and I always think of itas it's you're unfurling a flower, and so you
just peel back one level of discomfort, and youfind out, well, what's underneath that, and
(14:08):
then you do another layer, and another layer,and eventually, you'll get to your pleasure.
Mhmm.
Yeah.
It's not always orgasmic right off the rightoff the tip.
Rarely.
Yeah.
Orgasm.
With the cervical orgasm.
Yeah.
Very rarely.
It's more I love that, you know, flower analogythat Leah just gave us because it really is
like an unfurling and puddle by puddle.
(14:29):
And, you know, I think if you are going into asexual experience with the agenda to have a
cervical orgasm, you're probably not gonna haveone.
Good luck.
It can be similar to Amrita where it's likethese, you know, certain phenomenons that
happen through a female body, they they arethey are mysterious in nature, and they come
(14:54):
when come.
And so it's more just to really, like, droppinginto the receptivity and staying present.
That was a really key thing that Leah justpointed to is, you know, just like, what what
is this this sensation right here, and whatdoes this sensation require of me in order to
really be with it?
Because this sensation reminds me of the time Iwas molested by my uncle when I was four years
(15:17):
old, and that's not a comfortable place to goto in my body or in my mind.
But if I don't unfurl that pedal, I'm not mostlikely not gonna get to my pleasure.
And I would just add, just a quick
break to let you know that eighty percent ofwomen do not have orgasms from vaginal
intercourse alone.
(15:37):
So many people are not having the type of sexthat is healing, brings them closer, that
brings them more connected, that is full of somuch pleasure and passion that it can build
bones, reduce stress, help serotonin, bringhappiness, lower anxiety, improve sleep, and
build a better connection with your partner.
(15:57):
That is what hot and modern monogamy is, ismodern monogamy that brings in all of that
path.
I think what's really unique about the cervix,and other zones internally, is it's like the
cervix requires so much stillness and slowness.
I think probably more so than maybe any otherregion in the body in order for it to unfurl.
(16:22):
And that is such a great actual spiritualconcept of like, here's this is like where
sacred sex really gets its juice, is it forcesus to settle into the moment, into presence, to
be sensitive, to pay attention, to measurewhat's happening in the system, and you can't
do that if you're going fast.
Or if you have a goal, like, I'm trying to getsomewhere.
(16:44):
This is really about curiosity and a quieting.
So it take it requires a meditative skill setto be able to be that still.
Yeah.
And another thing I wanna say just from theexperience of it for for years now is even
after doing it for years, I I still experiencediscomfort on my way to the pleasure.
(17:05):
You know?
It's like, I have to find that place insidewhere I'm like, okay.
There we are.
We're connected now.
We're in we're in union.
Now we're gonna be in the chi of that union.
But for me, it feels itchy and burny anduncomfortable.
And, yeah, there's a place inside of me thatwants to go away from it and resist it, but
there's another place inside of me that knowsthe value of going into the sensation and into
(17:30):
the feeling.
And even, you know, after, like I said, afteryears of doing the practice, it it doesn't mean
I'm going right to it in this, you know, yearfull of pleasure.
Like, I still have to work my way throughbecause, you know, life keeps happening, and
and we keep storing stuff, issues on ourtissues.
And so we have to really continue to unfurlmoment by moment.
(17:54):
Yeah.
One of the thing you guys have said so manythings I love.
Like, one of the things I really find so muchin my work is that what what's happening in our
intimate life is a mirror in many ways for,like, the expression outside of our intimate
life.
And and I think in in life, we're so often,like, just, like, trying to get out of the
(18:14):
uncomfortable sensation as fast as possible,whether we feel sad or something or angry about
something or, you know, disappointed orwhatever the emotion we're feeling.
And what tends to happen is, like, thosefeelings don't go away.
We just shove them under the rug and then theycome up in some other weird icky way.
And, yeah, I think, like, the exploration ofthe cervix is such a great analogy for, like,
(18:37):
practicing You know, we practice a thing out ofthe bedroom that actually refers us back to the
bed bedroom and vice versa.
And this ability to sit with like, okay, whatis this feeling?
What is this discomfort?
And just sit there and allow whatever feelingit is to have a space and have a voice and have
a feeling is an amazing way to just get it tosoften and move on.
(19:02):
So I'm curious too, especially with, you know,the work around tantra and breath work, and
knowing that we had these connections from ourwound space to a heart and even up to our
pineal gland and to our crown, have you seenthen other things such as any sort of tantra
practice, breath work practice, anything elsehelp to suck in the cervix and Oh, for sure.
(19:26):
Pressure at all?
All of that.
Like, sounding and breathing and knowing how torun energy through your yang meridian, your yin
meridian, you know, all the white tantra thatwe have our students practice.
It really comes into a red tantra experiencewhere you're potentially with a partner, you
know, and playing with how to expand yourcapacity to feel sensation.
(19:52):
Right?
If it's often if we're feeling pain, whetherit's emotional or physical, we contract and we
don't expand.
So, you know, I think one of the beautifulthings about tantra is that we get to expand
into all of it, the good and the bad, the theyummy feelings and the challenging feelings.
(20:12):
And that is how we get to, you know, begin tolive a tantric life where it's like, okay.
Yeah.
Here's this challenge.
Can I expand into it?
You know, here's this beautiful thing.
Can I open even wider into it?
And so, you know, going slow one of theprinciples of tantra is is slow down.
(20:33):
You know?
Because we we in order we're going so fast,it's hard to feel the the moment that we're in.
And, you know, we use that word presence a lot,but what does it even mean to be present?
It really means, like, accessing the sensationsin your body, and we have these five fabulous
(20:53):
senses.
Right?
So we've got these doorways to the presentmoment.
So which doorway is, like, the one for you?
For me, it's my ears.
You know?
Auditory.
Like, if I can really just listen to a singlechirp of a bird in a moment, I'm not in the
past, I'm not in the future, but I'm receivingthat sensation.
(21:13):
So that's another thing that our senses do isthey drop us into receptivity, which is, I like
to say, the feminine's greatest superpower.
You know?
And it's not one that's valued or honored ortaught in our society, so we have to cultivate
that on our own.
So all of the the the Taoist practices, thewhite Tantra practices, all of that will really
(21:36):
come in handy, as we are in that moment withour cervix and the awakening.
Yeah.
I would say that if I could only teach oneTantric thing to help women become a master
lover, it would be having educated pelvic floormuscles.
Because when you are aware and connected, andso for some people, kegel kegels will be maybe
(21:59):
a more familiar terminology, it's doing so manythings to build awareness and to build subtle
movement.
So when you have muscular knowledge and controlover these different muscles in your pelvic
floor, meaning, you know how to separate theanal sphincter muscles from the pubic coccygeus
(22:20):
muscle from the lower abdominal recti muscles,which, we basically all know how to do that,
just someone has to point it out to us.
Then you can start to play your vagina or youryoni like a three string instrument, and it
builds subtle movement.
So it's one of those things that you can do tomake shifts in how you feel yourself
internally, in juxtaposition of feeling someoneelse's attention inside of you.
(22:43):
And it's also when you when you're squeezingthose muscles and you're relaxing them, just
like everything else in life, it has anexpansion and a contraction, just like our
heartbeat.
It expands, it contracts.
So we are a series of expanding and contractingthroughout every sector of our life, including
the operation of our system.
So when you can play your yoni, and really feelthose separation of muscles, in a subtle
(23:08):
movement, or even a greater, more dramaticmovements, you're bringing fresh, oxygenated
blood to the tissue.
That's going to give you more sensation.
You're bringing awareness, which means you'llstart to have, attunement between your mind,
having a mind body connection, and what'shappening within your vagina.
You can shift by contracting, you can pull yourcervix up, by hyper relaxing you can allow your
(23:33):
cervix to drop down.
So, I really love taking people through ameditative process that brings them into a very
deep, close relationship with their pelvicfloor.
And then lastly, to me, it's like a Shakti,juicy pump.
And so if people want a more spiritualconnection to their body, it's one way that
(23:54):
women can really start to harness that thesearen't just the dirty bits.
This is my superpower.
I'm connected to the everything here.
And when I flex and relax my pelvic floor, I amjuicing up my sexual energy so that I'm more
creative, so I have a juicier life, and so thatI'm in control of my turn on.
And so, as you start to have these educatedmuscles, you can get so masterful with them,
(24:19):
that that's all you need to do to bringyourself to orgasm, is just pulse and release
that pelvic floor.
And so, you know, basically every courtesansince the beginning of time knew that.
It's kind of a parlor trick, but it's so muchmore than that.
Well, another thing I wanted to add with whatyour you ladies are both saying is, when we're
(24:39):
talking about, you know, these five senses, andwe're talking about everything to, like, bring
yourself someone's body and feel these things,and even when you're talking about the pelvic
floor and contracting and control, to me, theother thing that I I've been exploring
exploring a lot lately is, like, how much doingall these things actually triggers our bodies
(24:59):
to know it's safe.
Because when we're in, like, a fight or flight,which I think a lot of people are in, and we
have traumas, we have triggers, all thesethings, we can't be in fight or flight and tune
into the subtleties of our body and thecontractions at the same time.
Right?
So I think that that with that that
(25:21):
Very true.
For, you know, for safety in order to go deep,this is also the path for that.
Yeah.
It's a way of telling your tissues, it's okayto be in pleasure.
It's okay to relax.
It's okay to experience joy.
Yeah, it's also okay to be afraid.
Like, can you stay present in the fear, youknow, of being, I don't know, I want you to see
(25:43):
this side of me.
I'm afraid you're gonna think I'm ugly whenthese emotions arise, like, you know, you can
be there for yourself in the rage that needs torelease because you've suppressed it for twenty
five years.
I mean, sometimes that's something that'sblocking your biggest, most outrageous
pleasure.
Exactly.
Which is why it's so good to have a partnerholding space for you.
Yeah.
Because when you are in that fight, flight, orfree state, you can have someone bring you
(26:06):
back, and say, hey, where'd you go?
What's your feeling's okay?
Don't go anywhere, stay with me, you don't haveto feel it alone.
It really takes some of that feeling ofisolation out of these fight, flight, or freeze
responses, when you've got someone who'sholding you through it.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Oh gosh.
I could talk to you ladies forever, and I wannamake sure we have time to talk about you guys
(26:29):
have a really cool pilgrimage coming up toGreece, as well as an amazing adventure, a sex
reimagined adventure to help people really getto their desires and their unspoken questions
and all these things.
So I wanna talk about that, and we're gonnatalk about that in a moment.
And, just to remind everybody, we're gonna goeven deeper here with doctor Willow and Leah in
(26:52):
our exclusive content.
We're gonna talk a little bit about the women'sarousal map.
We're gonna talk about non ejaculatory orgasmsfor men, which I always know is a hot topic.
So we're gonna talk about that, so look forthat in the exclusive content below.
But let's talk before we do that.
Tell us a little bit about this pilgrimage youguys have coming up.
Oh, we're so excited.
(27:13):
Talk about awakening the the divine femininewithin.
We're taking a a group of women to Crete, whichis an island in Greece, and that particular
island is really connected to the divinefeminine, connected to the goddess.
The Minoan culture there is very alive and welland thriving.
(27:33):
So ancient culture, very much connected to thethe Gaia and the primordial goddess, right,
and, like, the original goddess.
Of course, we know there's all those greatamazing Greek goddesses with their archetypes.
So we'll be playing with some of that, butmostly, we'll be there cultivating our own chi.
We'll be doing yoni mapping.
(27:54):
We'll be doing yoni witnessing.
We'll be doing sacred spot release on eachother.
We'll be really holding each other insisterhood as as as this deep sexual awakening
occurs.
And we'll be doing yoga and qigong at thesacred temples and going to the beach and the
gorges and really cultivating the chi of thatisland into our systems and into our bodies.
(28:21):
So it's gonna be a great opportunity for womento just unplug from life and reset their
nervous systems to a whole new path ahead.
I'm really excited.
Yeah.
Sounds like such an amazing place for, like,growth and learning, but also just for
community and balance and healing andrecalibrating.
(28:43):
So, we'll have all of that information on howto sign up you guys in the show notes.
And then tell us about your adventure package.
Yeah.
So we have a free gift for your audience.
If they go to sexreimagined.com/adventure, theycan pick one of three free tantra trainings.
You can do something around sexual obstacles ifyou're struggling with, let's say, ejaculatory
(29:06):
control, or being able to feel your femaleorgasms, that's a great training.
It's totally free, most of the trainings haveabout three to five tutorials.
We've got another section on sexual healing,and then another one on intimacy and
communication.
And if you want all three, we won't stop you.
You can also get all three.
So head over there and, and get started.
(29:28):
You can practice tantra tonight.
Yes.
Yeah.
We can start with baby steps.
Right?
And it's like so many little ways to startmaking big shifts, and all it takes is just
taking that first step and getting started.
So I hope everybody will take doctor Willow andLeah Leah up on these amazing offers.
I hope you'll also check out our exclusiveinterview with them in part two found in the
(29:51):
content below.
And everybody, it's been so great to have youlistening to another episode on The Lounge.
We'll see you all very soon, and thank youladies both for being here with me today.
Oh, what an honor.
Thank you for having us.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
Please don't keep me a secret.
(30:12):
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
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