February 13, 2025 • 44 mins
Are you ready to bust the myths and tackle the taboo of anal sex?
Today on The Libido Lounge, Dr. Diane Mueller sits down with board-certified sexologist Amy Rowan to get real about anal intimacy. With so much misinformation out there, many people are either too afraid to try it or have had negative experiences in the past. But when done correctly, anal sex can be pleasurable, pain-free, and even orgasmic.
Amy shares her expert insights on why numbing creams are a huge mistake, why rushing the process leads to pain, and how the right preparation can make all the difference. Plus, she dives into surprising stats—like the fact that 63% of women enjoy anal sex, but 77% have had a bad experience at some point.
Whether you’re curious, hesitant, or want to improve your experiences, this conversation will help you navigate anal sex with confidence, communication, and pleasure in mind. No shame, no stigma—just real talk on making it work for you.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Anyone with a butt can enjoy anal play.
Okay.
Keep going.
Stop.
Pause.
Breathe.
Do not start with a penis.
Okay.
We can keep going in very, very, very slowly.
So I'm so I'm gonna tell you my story of thefirst time that I tried to have a nail.
(00:22):
Like, a completely, like, make you see starskind of experience.
(00:48):
Sixty three percent of women enjoy receivinganal sex, but seventy seven percent of women
have had some sort of negative anal sexexperience.
Fifty two percent of women have orgasms duringanal sex, and twenty nine percent find vaginal
and anal sex to be enjoyable.
You know, the thing about anal sex, analintimacy is there's so much curiosity about it,
(01:13):
especially typically typically the malepartner.
It but there is a taboo around it.
There's a lot of misinformation around it.
And, you know, some of the myths are I can'tbelieve it's still a myth.
It's 2024, '20 '20 '5.
But, you know, that that that anal sex is onlyfor gay men, and that is 100% not true.
Perfect.
(01:33):
It's like you look at the size of a pinkyversus the size of a penis.
Right?
It's
like, oh, this is okay.
This position makes a huge difference.
And, of course, the the vision that most peoplehave of anal sex abuse.
The number one thing that anal sex needs is andI made mistake number one.
(02:00):
Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of The Lounge.
I'm so thrilled to invite back a former guestthat I've been continuing to work with in
various ways, the suburban sexologist, boardcertified sexologist, Amy Rowan.
Thank you so much for coming back with metoday.
Thank you for inviting me back.
I always love our our collaborations together,and I'm really excited to dive in today today's
(02:24):
topic.
Yeah.
We got a juicy topic for the audience, and it'ssomething that I've talked about on my YouTube
channel, but really I've not talked much abouton this podcast yet.
And people ask about it all the time.
So we're talking about anal today, anal sex,anal pleasure.
And I know you've been you have a wholepresentation prepared for us.
(02:45):
But before we go in, I think your story of howyou got into the world of sexology is so
beautiful.
So I would love to hear just a little bit aboutyour story about your, how you left corporate
America, just kind of your journey as a stayhome mom into the world of a clinical
sexologist.
Absolutely.
I think the first question I always get askedis how did you get into this?
(03:09):
And, you know, I I always like to say
I feel like I was born
to do this because my dad, now retired, he's anOB GYN, and my mom is a psychologist, so they
had a baby and it was me.
But but, you know, my journey there wasn'tquite that direct.
And, you know, initially, I graduated fromcollege.
I did human resources for several fourteen fivehundred companies and then got pregnant with my
(03:30):
first child.
And my husband and I made a decision for me tostay home.
So, so my last day of corporate America was theday that my water broke, and then I was a stay
at home mom and which I loved, and I'm verygrateful, you know, for that opportunity and
that privilege.
But, any moms can probably relate.
At some point, you kind of get tired of twofeet or smaller people yelling at you all day
(03:55):
long.
And I just needed to get out of the house, andI wanted something that was mine.
And I went to a sex toy party and learned somuch.
Like, that was actually where I learned aboutthe g spot at that first party, and my eyes
were wide open.
And I said, this looks like a lot of fun.
I wanna try this out.
So I became a sex toy consultant.
(04:16):
And, and it was great.
It was phenomenal, especially what I had twomore children.
So I'm a boy mom.
I've got three boys.
And, you know, I was still staying at home withthem, but I could work on the weekends.
And I built a team, and I earned trips.
And, you know, that whole thing, it was areally beautiful addition to my life.
But at the end of so many of those parties, awoman would come up to me and say, Amy, my
(04:42):
husband and I haven't had sex in a year.
Or, Amy, sex is painful.
Can you help me?
And I knew that selling a product was not goingto be enough of a solution to help them.
And that broke my heart, and I really, really,really wanted to do more.
And that's what led me to go back to school andget my sexology certification.
(05:04):
So I really enjoyed doing the parties.
It was just a great flexible way for me to beable to stay home with my children and really,
really help people.
But at the end of so many of those parties, Iwould have a woman that would come up to me and
she would say, Amy, sex is painful.
Intercourse is painful for me, or my husbandand I haven't had sex in a year.
You know, can you help?
(05:24):
And I knew that selling a product was not goingto be enough to help them, that that there was
deeper work to be done there because sexualityis obviously a very, very, you know, wide
ranging, multifaceted, experience andchallenge.
And so that's what led me to go back to schooland get my fifteen month seven hundred fifty
course hour of sexology certification.
(05:46):
Nice.
Amazing.
Yeah.
And then let's jump from there into our topictoday, and and maybe let's start.
I know there's a lot of things on your mind totalk about, but maybe let's start with taking
some of the, like, myths and the taboo
out of it if we could,
and then we can just, you know, go into yourpresentation from there.
(06:07):
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I think that, you know, the thing about analsex, anal intimacy is there's so much curiosity
about it, especially typically typically themale partner is usually pretty, curious about
it, but there is a taboo around it.
There's a lot of misinformation around it.
And, you know, some of the myths, you know,that I think are like, one of the biggest myths
(06:30):
is just start with a penis.
Do not start with a penis.
Right?
You definitely never wanna start with a penis.
You wanna work your way up to that, and that issomething that we will talk about.
I've got a whole step by step guide.
Another huge myth that I bust constantly is,and actually this happened a lot of my parties
(06:51):
is women would come up and say, my husbandwants to try anal.
Can I get some numbing cream?
Do not use numbing cream.
That is an enormous mistake.
The other story that I would get in my parties,because I did lots of them for ER nurses, and
trust me, they wanted to tell me all thestories.
Yeah.
Is that someone would have used a numbingcream, and they would not be able to feel the
(07:13):
pain, and pain is our body's way of sayingsomething is wrong.
Mhmm.
So it's very important to feel that.
So do not ever use numbing cream.
When done properly, slowly, you can avoid mostof the pain, and we'll talk a little bit about
pain tolerance within that.
Mhmm.
And another thing, you know, it's sort of alongthe same lines.
(07:33):
So just get drunk and try it.
It's really good to have your wits about you.
Yeah.
So you were trying this.
So, you know, so those are just a couple of thebig things that I really like to talk about,
you know, when it comes to to sex.
Anal anal intimacy.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
There's so much just like you wanna be present.
You don't wanna push beyond your limits.
You wanna make sure you can feel things, like,I think some really important just basic
(07:58):
guidelines there.
Yeah.
Well, well, where do you wanna lead us today?
Let's get into the presentation you prepared.
Sure.
You know, I think the three biggest questions Ihave always gotten are, is this normal, tell me
about the g spot, and let's talk about anal,because people have the most questions about
that.
And so I like to always lead with a storybecause people also think, oh, as a sexologist,
(08:20):
like, you must have always had this figuredout, and that is 100% now the case.
I have made just as many mistakes as probablythe vast majority of you.
And so I'm gonna tell you my story of the firsttime that I tried to have anal.
And I was with my long term boyfriend.
We were in college, and I made mistake numberone.
(08:41):
We were drunk.
And he was like, well, let's try it.
And I was like, okay.
Well, that was it.
That was the extent of the conversation.
And then we tried it.
Well, it did not go well.
In fact, I literally flew off the bed becauseit hurt so much.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
That was awful.
I will never ever try that again.
(09:02):
And that was that.
And I I think I would expect there's probably alot of other people that have had similar
experiences to that.
And so there's a lot of people who are like,this is just off the table.
This isn't something I wanna try because it'sgoing to hurt.
But, you know, I like to also, you know, sharesome some stats.
And so there was a study.
This is from the Bad Girls Bible.
(09:23):
And they showed that sixty three percent ofwomen enjoy receiving anal sex.
So if you enjoy this, there's nothing wrongwith you here.
You're in the majority of people.
But seventy seven percent of women have hadsome sort of negative anal sex experience.
That's an important stat.
Yeah.
And and and and I think that's why a lot ofpeople are like, I don't wanna I don't wanna
(09:45):
try this.
But another thing that I'd like to share isfifty two percent of women have orgasmed during
anal sex, and twenty nine percent find vaginaland anal sex to be equally enjoyable.
Also good stats.
Yeah.
I mean, I think I wonder in the the instead ofa seventy seven percent have bad experiences,
was that the right number?
(10:05):
Had a negative.
Yep.
But I wonder how much of the time that is dueto just simply not being educated and just kind
of, like, going for it like you're saying andnot having proper lube, not having proper, you
know, preparation and all the various types ofthings that could go wrong.
So I I wonder how much even just thisconversation and going into anal sex with the
(10:27):
knowledge and the education can really couldreally solve a lot of those 77% of, you know,
negative experiences.
Absolutely.
I I think that the I would I would say withinthat 77%, it's because of lack of education and
lack of planning, and that is the number onething that anal sex needs is planning.
(10:48):
It's not just something you can just say, let'sjust try this today.
Yeah.
So so let me tell you about some of the pros.
The some of the pros of anal sex is the firstthing is it is a different type of orgasm, and
many women have much more intense orgasms fromanal sex.
And, honestly, I don't even know exactly whythat is, but there are thousands of nerve
(11:12):
endings in the anus.
And and there's even more, of course, in thevagina and the clitoris.
And so sometimes people even who strugglehaving vaginal orgasms can have anal orgasms.
And then the other thing that I also wannashare is all of this, an anus is an anus,
whether it belongs to, whoever it belongs to,you know, woman, man, non binary.
(11:36):
So all of the the nerve endings and everythingare very similar in there so that the tits that
I'm gonna be sharing here could work with withany butt, so so to say.
Right.
Another, you know, appealing thing about this,obviously, it's a little kinky.
It's a little taboo.
So a lot of people are just like, oh, thisfeels a little naughty, and that end of itself
could be a huge turn on.
(11:57):
There's a lot of curiosity around it.
And so, so that's just, you know, anotherreason to try and explore it.
For some people, this can be a replacement forvaginal sex.
So if for some reason vaginal sex is out of thequestion, whether it's, due to painful
intercourse or, you know, having your period ordifferent things like that, you know, this can
be a substitute potentially.
(12:18):
And then, of course, there is, generallyspeaking, very, very little risk of pregnancy.
There's always a tiny, tiny little risk, but,but there but, obviously, it's really important
to use condoms, unless you have both been fullytested, you know, you're fully monogamous,
because the there is an increased risk ofspreading, STIs.
(12:40):
Yeah.
I I have a couple clients who, at this point,won't even have vaginal sex because as as
heterosexual women, because they just get somuch more pleasure out of anal.
So I think it's good, you know, just for peopleto hear that around, like, wow.
It can be scary.
It can be taboo.
It's like this whole world of unknown.
(13:01):
And at the same time, there's people thatreport, like, loving it so much that they would
actually prefer it over vaginal intercourse.
So I think it's a really important stat, andand, you know, conversation.
What do you feel as far as, like, you know,condoms and condoms, like, are so from a
standpoint of, like, condoms, vaginally, if thecondom happens to come off, it's really easy to
(13:24):
fish out vaginally.
But what about if a condom comes off rectally?
You know, that can be a challenge.
And, hopefully, if the ring is on the outsideof the anus, you'll be able to retrieve it
easily.
If it comes off internally, that may be a tripto the ER.
And you and that that is a risk because, youknow, I I like to say the vagina is an enclosed
(13:48):
cavity.
You know, you cannot lose something inside avagina unless you literally just had a baby and
your cervix is still open, in which case you'renot supposed to be putting anything in there
anyway.
Right.
But the anus is not only not an enclosedcavity, but it actually the sphincter, it can
actually suck things in.
Right.
And that also goes into we'll talk a little bitabout anal toys and making sure that you're
choosing proper ones there.
(14:09):
So, so, yeah, I would say it's it's veryimportant when you are choosing protection to
make sure that, you know, if there's thrusting,you're not going all the way in so that that
ring always stays on the outside of anus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I was in my medical school program withinour radiology class, one of our assignments one
(14:29):
day, they were putting up, images of people'srectums and their lower intestinal tracts, and
we were actually identifying like, the thewhole exercise was trying to identify the
foreign objects that actually were stuck upthere.
So just, you know, your to your point, it'slike, we wanna be we want this is, like, an
amazing thing for many people, but we wanna becautious about it because it can if it there is
(14:54):
a risk if not handled in a way that is that isreally safe that way.
Yes.
Absolutely.
100%.
And, you know, like
I said, the parties that I did for ER nurses,they all had a story of somebody who came in
with something stuck up there.
It was like, that's all they had sounded.
So
Yeah.
That was very eye opening to me back at thatpoint of my life.
I'd I, was very, just unaware of of the play inthat way.
(15:19):
And so it opened my eyes to, oh, this is whatpeople do.
So it was very, very eye opening to me.
Yeah.
At that stage.
Yep.
So, you know, the next thing, obviously and Ijust wanna acknowledge for some people.
If this is off the table for you, that's okay.
Like, I wanna give you permission.
If this is not something that you don't wannado, you don't have to explore it.
I think another mistake that sometimes, peoplemake is they do it just for their partner.
(15:43):
So if this is something that you are tryingout, make sure that you have some level of
openness and curiosity around this as well.
So I give yourself I give you permission toexplore it if you want to.
So let's talk about how to make this fun andpleasurable because we've talked about all of
the pleasure and how some women even prefer itmore.
(16:05):
So how can we make all of that happen?
Right?
Yes.
So the first thing is communication.
Of course.
Right?
Obviously.
And, you know, learning how to have goodcommunication around this is really important,
and this is gonna be mostly one way.
So, again, here, I'm speaking to, the women, tothe Volvo owners in the room.
(16:29):
But I like to say this is pretty easy.
So you can go up to your partner and say, hey.
You know what?
I know you've been wanting to try anal, andguess what?
I'm open to giving it a try, but you're gonnahave to follow my rules.
You know what your partner's gonna say?
Okay.
K.
Yes.
Nope.
I will.
They're gonna be on board.
K?
(16:49):
So And so it's just really important for you tobe comfortable to tell your partner, what to do
and what not to do.
And you need to be able to tell them to slowdown.
You need to be able to tell them to pull outslowly.
You need to be able to tell them to completelystop moving.
These are all very important parts, especiallyin the early when you're learning how to engage
(17:10):
in anal intimacy.
And, of course, your partner needs to actuallylisten to you.
Yes.
I've unfortunately had a few stories wherethere have been partners who just had not paid
attention and have not listened, and, and thoseturned out to be very negative experiences that
were then not repeated.
So both of you guys need to come into it withan open mind and be willing to communicate and
(17:32):
listen.
Very important.
Yeah.
So, so preparation.
Preparation is key here.
You need preparation.
You need planning.
Preparation is going to reduce anxiety.
Preparation is gonna reduce pain.
Preparation is going to make this aspleasurable, as absolutely possible.
And, again, it can be extremely pleasurable.
(17:54):
So, the first thing everyone this is anotherthing I get asked about is, okay.
Well, what if what if there's a mess?
What if something happened?
Yes.
That is the obvious question.
Yep.
And so here's the thing.
We have to acknowledge this.
It this this is this is the outdoor.
This is the exit to the body.
There is a possibility that there may be somemess here, and you guys both need to be okay
(18:19):
with that.
Now we can prep for that.
Some people like to use you don't have to dothis, but some people like to use an enema to
prepare.
You can go you can get, like, a fleet enemafrom the drugstore for, like, a dollar, and you
can use that anywhere from twelve hours to evenjust right before the experience.
You don't have to do that, but if it helps tokind of ease your mind, if you're really
(18:40):
worried if you know that your brain is justgoing to be worried about a mess happening,
then GIST might be a very good thing to helpreduce that anxiety.
And then some supplies that I think you shouldalways have on hand.
You want some towels, some baby wipes.
You know, if there's, like, a little bit thatcomes out, it can just be cleaned up real fast,
either a condom or latex glove.
(19:00):
And super important is using the rightlubricant, and I recommend a silicone based
lubricant or a hybrid lubricant
cap.
Yeah.
That's huge.
And then do you have advice at all when, likeof how to communicate with a partner if it does
get messy?
Because I feel like we can go into thosescenarios and, like, you know, we can prep, we
(19:25):
can know it, and then there's theembarrassment.
Right?
Like, that's happened to me before.
And it's been, like, despite everything I know,it's, like, real embarrassing.
And there's an element where I think too, like,yes, we can go into it, but what is the plan
around, like, you know, aftercare andcommunication where if it does get messy, like,
(19:46):
how do we you know, how would you advise peoplehandle that?
You know, I think if if it's a little mess, ifthere's a little bit leaking out, that's what
the baby wipes are for.
Clean up, see if you can keep moving on.
If it turns out that there is a bigger messthat's happened, I think it's okay to just
pause and stop.
Like, let's just acknowledge that sex ingeneral is messy, and that's okay.
(20:08):
And if we and it's okay to feel someembarrassment, but if you can be like, well,
guess we did that.
Let's go take a shower.
Maybe we'll try this another time.
And just laugh about it.
Like, just be like, well, okay.
I mean, that's what our bodies are meant to do.
Yeah.
And just move on.
You know?
So, I like making jokes.
(20:29):
I like cracking up about things.
You know?
You might not be able to, like, make the jokethe next morning.
Might be a little bit too soon, but, you know,it can always be, oh, you remember that time we
tried it the first time and, yep.
Now we've gotten so much better at it.
You know, I'm so glad that we decided to, youknow, continue to to try to explore this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I
found too.
Laughter is the best way of just calming those,you know, kind of intense emotions and maybe
(20:55):
not in the moment, but if we can keep it lightand not make it a big deal, that can be a huge,
huge way of, just not creating, like,unnecessary stress around our intimate moments.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So the next thing I wanted to talk about just alittle bit, and this is another thing I love to
talk about, and you can probably chime in heretoo, but anatomy is how this works.
(21:17):
Because a lot of people, and this goes backinto my story too, report that anal sex is
painful and, again, when not prepped forproperly.
And the reason for that is the anus.
The anus is a ring of muscle.
It's called the sphincter, and it is designedto keep it tightly closed.
Right?
Because, obviously, we're trying to keep thingsinside our body.
(21:39):
And it's a must it's not like our bicep or ourhamstring, you know, that you can quickly relax
and contract it.
Like, you can't just, like, think, okay.
I'm just gonna relax and contract.
It takes a little while for it to relax, and ittakes a little while to allow things to pass
through it.
So it is a very, very strong but a very, veryslow muscle.
And so if you try to pass something through itquickly,
(22:02):
like I did when I flew
off the bed, when it's closed and you don'thave enough time to relax, you're gonna have a
lot of pain or it's you're simply not gonna beable to get in.
Like, it's just not going to work.
And so the key to this is getting yoursphincter muscle to relax and open up enough so
that you can be penetrated with ease.
(22:22):
So so, basically, from a standpoint of steps.
Right?
So it's like we have our maybe we do our ouranal douche or enema, and then we get all our
towels, and we get our baby wipes, and we havethe conversation, and we're feeling loving, and
we get our protective measures, our condoms,and our lube, and all that.
(22:44):
And then from there, the next step is reallythen playing with a finger, right, or something
small.
Yes.
100%.
The the number one rule is do not start withthe penis.
So start with a lubed finger, Start with a verynarrow, anal toy, and we'll talk about anal
toys in a minute.
You know, if you some people like to have aglove.
You know, again, if you're a little concernedabout, you know, mess and things like that, you
(23:06):
can use half of a well lubed finger.
I also encourage sometimes practicing the solofirst so that you can get a little bit of an
idea of those sensations.
So and this goes, you know, for for all bodies.
But if you practice and kinda get used to whatit's like to consciously relax that muscle,
it's gonna be easier when you're with yourpartner.
(23:29):
But so, yeah, start with a very well lubedfinger.
You know, I say, put a lot of lube around therim of the anus and then a lot on the finger,
and then just kind of gently tinkle excuse me.
Gently tickle around the rim of the anus, a fewtimes.
You know, it might be a minute or two, and itwill slowly start to relax and open up.
(23:50):
And at that point, then you can start insertingthe finger, the very narrow toy at a rate of
what I say is no faster in the beginning of oneinch per minute.
And we're talking, like, millimeter bymillimeter.
Very, very, very slow for the initial entry.
(24:12):
And this is when you're talking.
Okay?
You're saying, okay.
Keep going.
Okay.
Keep going.
If you start to feel a little bit of pain, andit's likely that you will feel a little bit of
pain, especially as you're starting to explorethis the first time.
If you feel that, you just wanna say stop.
Ask your partner to stop with their finger oryou're stopping with your own.
(24:33):
Stop, pause, breathe, let that pain subside,and then you can say, okay.
You can keep going in very, very, very slowlyuntil they go in as far as they can go.
You'll hit a point where they can't go in anyfarther.
And then it's it's sometimes good just to sitthere and let your body get used to that
(24:56):
sensation with the finger or the toy on theinside.
Maybe that's the time that you can get someother types of clitoral, some other types of
stimulation with the first clitoral, vaginal,you know, do a little bit of kissing, you know,
things like that, as your body gets used tofeeling what that feels.
Yeah.
And that's gonna be the sort of initial,penetration.
(25:20):
And then, and then if that's going well, like,if it's going well, then you can start doing
some very, very, very slow thrusting.
Again, we're still with the finger.
We're still with the anal toy.
And so it's good for you to control the pacehere.
So tell your partner, okay.
(25:40):
You know, pull out.
Okay.
You can go in again.
You can tell them to speed up.
You can tell them to slow down.
It's kinda depending on what you want.
And if it's not going well, I I I often saythat sometimes it's gonna take several sessions
before you can work your way up to a penis.
So sometimes just that first thrust may be allthat works for you this time, and that's okay.
(26:02):
I celebrate that you guys got that far, and nowyou know a little bit more, to explore for the
next time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think what we're really doing is we'reteaching the nervous system to relax.
Right?
And when you're talking, we're talking aboutthat muscle around, like, less control.
Like, most of us, like, other than just, like,the normal, like, functions of daily, you know,
(26:23):
living, you know, we go to the bathroom, and wedon't think about these muscles.
We don't think about the nerves in there.
We don't think about the level of control wehave to actually relax them.
So we're I think we're some of what we're doinghere is just really almost getting that mind
connection to the nervous system of all ofthose nerves there to communicate better, to
say, like, oh, I actually do have more controlover this area to relax.
(26:46):
And, you know, then maybe we realize, and andwe're just teaching our body to do that.
And because it's a new skill, I love yourmethodology of, you know, how slow you're going
here.
I think it's it's really essential.
And I wanna be clear for, like, the listeners.
I I believe what you're saying too, and correctme if I'm wrong, is, like, while this is the
entry process before the penis, do you stillrecommend then once somebody is like acclimated
(27:14):
to anal and they've been having full penileanal sex for a while, do you still recommend
starting with a finger or a toy in everysession, or do you find that's less necessary
as people get more acclimated?
I think it's less necessary as people get moreacclimated.
You know, as you to your point, you're teachingyour body.
You're learning how to relax those muscles.
(27:34):
You're learning to how to have more controlwith them.
And practice makes perfect.
So the more you do this, the more you practicethis, the easier it's going to be.
Now you always, always, always won't needlubricants.
Like, the AS does not lubricate itself, so thatis essential.
But I would say that, generally speaking, ifyou've been doing this a while, you may not
(27:56):
necessarily need that prep.
But, you know, it's interesting too becausesometimes even though your mind really wants
this, your body might fight with you on it.
And and so because it's, again, it's a veryconscious relaxing of this muscle.
So, but, you know, you know, once you're goodwith having one finger inserted, then your
(28:18):
partner can insert a second very well lubedfinger and, even working their way up to three.
And once they once you can get three fingers onthe inside, then you are ready to try exploring
with a penis.
Another action is they have some different analtrainer sets where you have, like, three
different sizes, that can be inserted that, youknow, go up from sort of the width of a finger
(28:41):
to about the width of the girth of the averagepenis.
Yeah.
And so I feel like starting in that slowincremental way can really help take, like,
that fear out of things.
It's like if you look at the size of a pinkyversus the size of a penis.
Right?
It's like, oh, this is okay.
This is much it's, like, I think
just a lot easier for people to wrap theirbrain around.
(29:03):
So thank you for for that process.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So let's say things are going well, and you'veworked your way up to three fingers, or you've
you've worked your way up to, you know, thewider toy, and you're like, okay.
I think we're ready.
I think we're ready to try with the penis.
So here's the next thing that people often dowrong, is position makes a huge difference.
(29:28):
And, of course, the the vision that most peoplehave of anal sex is gonna be doggy style.
That is actually one of the more difficultpositions to get in because our body when we
are in that hands and knees position, and ourbottom is up in the air, it's very difficult.
It's even more difficult to consciously reactrelax those muscles.
(29:50):
So, so I do not ever recommend starting in thatposition.
Can you get into that eventually?
Yes.
But that's not going to be your startingposition.
So for the very first time that you are tryingwith a penis, this is gonna be a little bit
surprising for people, but you are actuallygoing to ask the partner with a penis to lay on
their back, and you're gonna tell that partner,do not thrust and do not move.
(30:13):
And you are going to be the person beingpenetrated is going to be in control.
And so you can either get into the cowgirlposition or maybe the Asian cowgirl where
you've got your feet flat on the ground.
You're gonna apply lots and lots and lots oflube to the penis.
You're gonna add some more lube, onto the rimof the anus, and then you are going to be
(30:36):
lowering your body onto their penis.
And that is giving you control that is givingyou control of how how deep it's going, of how
fast it's going.
And, you know, you're gonna grab a hold of thepenis and slowly guide it in.
And if you experience discomfort, you're gonnapause.
You're gonna breathe.
And, again, you've got control over this now.
(30:58):
So, so you will be able to know how deep youcan go, how far you can go.
And then once they are completely inside you,they can't go any deeper, then you can start to
slowly raise your body up and down.
And if that's going well, then at that point,you can say, okay.
I'd like you to try a little bit of thrusting,or go ahead and move your body a little bit.
(31:19):
And, you know, and that will, again, let youstart to experience the the bigger, deeper
sensations that come with anal sex.
Now I know you mentioned in, like, the warm up,like, people could, you know, suggest, like,
people could play, like, clitoral play orvaginal play.
At what point though, really in this process doyou like, now we're on so penile involvement.
(31:44):
What point do you recommend, like, okay, maybelet's try bringing in some touching and feeling
and playing and other body parts.
Like, just from a standpoint of when I askedfrom a standpoint of I think there's so much
that we're concentrating on in those initialstages of, like, okay, breathe, Relax.
Okay.
(32:04):
It's okay.
Keep going.
So have you found and it's probably, you know,person independent, but have you found in any
any way, like, a general recommendation around,like, oh, now the mind is relaxed enough where
now it's good to bring in these other things,or, like, actually, it's better to bring in
those other things earlier because they canprovide some softness and some other means of
(32:26):
pleasure.
Any thoughts on that?
I mean, I I think to to your point, I thinkit's probably individual, but I would say at
any point during the process, it you cancertainly incorporate any other types of
stimulation.
Again, this is all increasing pleasure.
This is all pleasure enhancements.
I think a lot of women find that some somepeople can orgasm just with anal.
(32:48):
A lot of people find that anal is aaccelerator, to orgasmic pleasure, with other
stimulation.
So, you know, sometimes maybe if you're in thatmoment where you're not able to thrust yet,
that might be a really great time for someclitoral stimulation.
You can give that to yourself if your partnercan be reaching around, grab a toy, you know,
(33:10):
any of those things.
And that is also training your brain toassociate pleasure and anal, activation at the
same time.
So it's also starting to connect those twothings for you.
So I would say at any point in the process, ifthere's no wrong point, I would say that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(33:30):
Perfect.
Well, amazing.
What a great presentation.
Is there anything else on your list that youwanna make sure we get covered today?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I wanna
make sure that we talk a little bit about analtoys as well because because there's some
important things there.
Another, intro position that I also like tosuggest is, is the person being penetrated
(33:50):
being on their back.
Because when you are on your back, legs up,then your sphincter is actually naturally very
relaxed.
And so that is also a much easier way topenetrate.
So that's in the door intro position that Ireally like.
Great.
Perfect.
So let's talk about anal toys because to yourpoint, you've seen lots of things stuck up
there.
(34:11):
And so the biggest, most important rule foranal toys is you need to have a wide t shaped
flanked base.
I've seen I've seen so many toys that I'm like,how are these things on the market?
It's terrifying.
Something with a string with a little loop onthe end of it?
(34:31):
No.
That can get sucked in.
You need a wide flanged base on the end of thattoy so that it cannot get sucked in because
your body can actually suck it in.
So we wanna make sure that in the heat of themoment, if there's, you know, heavy thrusting
going on and it's a little bit loopy, it's alittle bit slippery, if you lose, you know, if
(34:52):
you lose your grip on it, that it doesn't go onin.
So wide flank of bass, super, super important.
I also like to say that, you wanna be verycareful about getting any fecal matter inside
the vagina.
Right?
So a recipe for back bacterial vaginosis, yeastinfections.
(35:12):
So any toy that has been in the anus, you donot want to move it around, and put it into the
vagina.
So I said once it goes back, it never goesback, meaning right.
And anal play can be very, very pleasurable formen as well.
That's probably a whole other podcast.
But if you guys are both exploring this, makesure that you have separate anal toys.
(35:34):
You have yours, and your partner has their own,because, yes, you can clean them, but you just
don't wanna risk that.
I mean, that's there there are people that havedied because of God from getting other people's
fecal matter inside their bodies.
So you don't wanna risk any of that.
And, you know, and then there's there's lots ofdifferent types of anal toys.
There's the butt plugs, and so those canvibrate or not vibrate.
(35:58):
Some people like to put that in while you'redoing other things, having intercourse,
clitoral, vaginal stimulation, oral sex, and itgives you this very kind of full feeling.
A lot of people like that.
There's also anal beads, and beads would go inand provide sort of a popping sensation as they
pull out.
Again, make sure you've got that flamed base.
(36:18):
I see those with the loops, and they scare me.
Oh my gosh.
And and pulling out those beads during theorgasm can be, whoo, like, a completely, like,
make you see stars kind of experience.
Mhmm.
So and then there's some lube launchers aswell, and I I I'm not as familiar with these,
(36:39):
but these actually put lube deep inside theanal cavity so that it's already lubed up on
the inside.
So I would say I don't know if you necessarilyneed this, but if you are having trouble, I
think if you're using the right lube, you'regonna be okay.
But if you're really having a hard time withstaying lubricated, then that might be
something to consider as well.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Amazing.
I love all of all of those toys and all of thatinformation.
(37:01):
And I think just to add I know I know you'rekinda insinuating this, but it's just to add
for clarity around, like, when we're sayingonce to the back, not to the front again, or
back to back as you're saying.
We're also talking about penile insertion aswell.
Right?
So I just wanna make sure everybody is hearingthat.
Everything.
Yeah.
Now if if you're exploring with the fingerfirst and that's gone on the backside, you need
(37:22):
to go wash your hands before that goes anywherenear the clitoris, the vagina, anything like
that.
Very very young.
Important.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the exciting thing to me too that I alsowanna mention here is the the research that
I've seen on some of these toys for men thatare used anally and helping with things like
prostatitis, like the health benefits.
(37:44):
And I don't think there's been that I've seen,like, good studies on women, you know, in that
sort of way from a health benefit standpoint,but I'm sure there's stuff out there.
You know, we need we just we need moreresearch, but it was very exciting to me to be
like, oh, this is not just about pleasure.
Like, of course, it's about pleasure and funand fantasy and hotness and all things, but
(38:04):
there's actually legitimate health benefitsthat we're now seeing that can actually can
come from this sort of play
as well.
So very exciting.
Yeah.
I think that is really exciting, and I thinkthat that's important to highlight because, you
know, there there's also talking about myths inthe very beginning.
There's this there's this I hope this I knowit's still a myth.
I can't believe it's still a myth.
It's 2024, '20 '20 '5.
But, you know, that that anal sex is only forgay men, and that is 100% not true.
(38:30):
Anyone with a butt can enjoy anal play.
Fan sees a lot of cis, hetero, men that really,really enjoy anal play.
And, yes, the the benefits for, prostate healthare enormous and documented.
And the process that I just explained, this isthe same for men.
Now stimulating the prostate, prostate milking,all of that, that's going to be a a more
(38:54):
extensive process.
Again, another podcast, but, yeah, there thereare really some great health benefits there.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Well, thank you for all your research and yourwealth of knowledge today, and I know we're
gonna wrap up and tell everybody how to getahold of you and, tell them about your podcast
and some other great things you have comingdown the pipeline and some some gifts for them.
(39:15):
Before we do all that, is there any, like,final thought on anal in this conversation that
we did not mention that you feel like we haveto say?
You know, I think just, you you mentionedearlier aftercare.
You know?
This is talking about it.
You know, after the experience, obviously,washing up, taking care of each other, little
cuddling, making sure you wash your hands verythoroughly.
(39:36):
But then, you know, the next day, sharing, oh,I really liked it when you did this, or when
you thrust like that, that was very positive.
You know, and be specific.
Like, I need a little bit more time for you torelax before you start thrusting.
So and it's certainly ask for your partner'sfeedback too, but I think that is what is going
to continue to grow that experience betweenThank you.
(39:59):
So
Yeah.
Thank you for that, and thank you for breakingthis down and just making it so attainable for
people.
So let's talk about your podcast and what youhave going on.
Yeah.
Well, I would first of all, doctor Diane helpedwith the launch of the podcast, and so I had
partnered with another sexologist, doctor TrinaReid.
She is out of Canada, and, our podcast iscalled the Sensational Sex Podcast.
(40:22):
And we help women in long term relationshipsthrive after the honeymoon stage is over.
Every episode, we take a common challenge thatwomen are experiencing in the bedroom.
We break it down, and we give you three or fourlittle micro tips and say, apply one of these
to your bedroom, listen next week, and watchyour sex life transform.
So if you're listening to doctor Diane'spodcast, we know that you're curious in
(40:45):
learning about intimacy, so I would love toinvite you to come listen to ours as well.
Additionally, we have a couple freebies onsensationalsexpodcast.com.
You can get a download to uncover your sexhistory, and going through that process can
help you learn some of the things that maybehave been holding you back from experiencing
(41:06):
the pleasure and passion that you're lookingfor, and help to open the doors to
communication.
So we've got that download.
We have an are you sexy checklist.
And then, also, I invite you to connect withme.
I am a sex and intimacy coach.
I primarily work work with women and couplesexperiencing intimacy challenges or who want to
learn how to enhance their pleasure and explorenew horizons, if you'd like to connect with me
(41:28):
directly, come to suburbanintimacy.com, book afree discovery call.
And then I also have five tips for sexyscheduled sex that you can download on my
website as well.
Perfect.
And we will have all of that in our show notestoday, everybody.
So we'll have all of Amy's links and how to geta hold of her.
I'm also gonna include my favorite lube foranal.
(41:51):
It's a silicone based lube called Uber Lube,which is my favorite favorite lube on the
market really for that.
And if if you have any, tips on your favoritelube, we could include those as as well.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Uber Lube is fantastic.
So Yeah.
You, doctor Diane, for inviting me back.
I love this, and, I hope that people are arecurious.
And, you know, sort of last thoughts is justkeep an open mind to this.
(42:15):
You know?
Even if you had a negative experience in thepast with this, just know that with
communication, with education, this can be avery, very pleasurable and just new horizon for
you and your partner to explore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I I was interviewing, Susan Bratton, who's anamazing intimacy sexpert, couple months ago,
and she anal came up for just a short littlejust a brief moment in that podcast, but she
(42:40):
has made a brief mention around, like, oh, weas we get older and as we change, our sexual
styles and what we're interested in changestoo.
So she was just briefly talking about, like,hey.
There might be one point of life that analsounds horrible.
And then all of a sudden, it's like, oh,actually, I might be, you know, open to that.
So we we change and evolve in what our sexualdesires and fantasies and interests and all
(43:03):
these things are as as we change and develop ashuman beings.
So it's a great point.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Well, thank you everybody.
And thank you, Amy.
This has been such a wonderful episode of thelounge.
Please do subscribe, please do share this withyour friends so we can get this information out
there.
The work Amy and I are both doing is in part tomake these conversations so much less taboo, to
(43:26):
give you a space to really communicate, toexperience the pleasure that we were truly
meant to have as humans to help ourselves behappier, have better relationships, regulate
our hormones, regulate our stress response, andso much more.
So thanks everybody for being here.
Please check out those show notes, and we'llsee you next time.
(43:49):
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
Please don't keep me a secret.
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
Anyone with a butt can enjoy anal play.
Okay.
Keep going.
Stop.
Pause.
Breathe.
Do not start with a penis.
Okay.
We can keep going in very, very, very slowly.
So I'm so I'm gonna tell you my story of thefirst time that I tried to have a nail.
(00:22):
Like, a completely, like, make you see starskind of experience.
(00:48):
Sixty three percent of women enjoy receivinganal sex, but seventy seven percent of women
have had some sort of negative anal sexexperience.
Fifty two percent of women have orgasms duringanal sex, and twenty nine percent find vaginal
and anal sex to be enjoyable.
You know, the thing about anal sex, analintimacy is there's so much curiosity about it,
(01:13):
especially typically typically the malepartner.
It but there is a taboo around it.
There's a lot of misinformation around it.
And, you know, some of the myths are I can'tbelieve it's still a myth.
It's 2024, '20 '20 '5.
But, you know, that that that anal sex is onlyfor gay men, and that is 100% not true.
Perfect.
(01:33):
It's like you look at the size of a pinkyversus the size of a penis.
Right?
It's
like, oh, this is okay.
This position makes a huge difference.
And, of course, the the vision that most peoplehave of anal sex abuse.
The number one thing that anal sex needs is andI made mistake number one.
(02:00):
Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of The Lounge.
I'm so thrilled to invite back a former guestthat I've been continuing to work with in
various ways, the suburban sexologist, boardcertified sexologist, Amy Rowan.
Thank you so much for coming back with metoday.
Thank you for inviting me back.
I always love our our collaborations together,and I'm really excited to dive in today today's
(02:24):
topic.
Yeah.
We got a juicy topic for the audience, and it'ssomething that I've talked about on my YouTube
channel, but really I've not talked much abouton this podcast yet.
And people ask about it all the time.
So we're talking about anal today, anal sex,anal pleasure.
And I know you've been you have a wholepresentation prepared for us.
(02:45):
But before we go in, I think your story of howyou got into the world of sexology is so
beautiful.
So I would love to hear just a little bit aboutyour story about your, how you left corporate
America, just kind of your journey as a stayhome mom into the world of a clinical
sexologist.
Absolutely.
I think the first question I always get askedis how did you get into this?
(03:09):
And, you know, I I always like to say
I feel like I was born
to do this because my dad, now retired, he's anOB GYN, and my mom is a psychologist, so they
had a baby and it was me.
But but, you know, my journey there wasn'tquite that direct.
And, you know, initially, I graduated fromcollege.
I did human resources for several fourteen fivehundred companies and then got pregnant with my
(03:30):
first child.
And my husband and I made a decision for me tostay home.
So, so my last day of corporate America was theday that my water broke, and then I was a stay
at home mom and which I loved, and I'm verygrateful, you know, for that opportunity and
that privilege.
But, any moms can probably relate.
At some point, you kind of get tired of twofeet or smaller people yelling at you all day
(03:55):
long.
And I just needed to get out of the house, andI wanted something that was mine.
And I went to a sex toy party and learned somuch.
Like, that was actually where I learned aboutthe g spot at that first party, and my eyes
were wide open.
And I said, this looks like a lot of fun.
I wanna try this out.
So I became a sex toy consultant.
(04:16):
And, and it was great.
It was phenomenal, especially what I had twomore children.
So I'm a boy mom.
I've got three boys.
And, you know, I was still staying at home withthem, but I could work on the weekends.
And I built a team, and I earned trips.
And, you know, that whole thing, it was areally beautiful addition to my life.
But at the end of so many of those parties, awoman would come up to me and say, Amy, my
(04:42):
husband and I haven't had sex in a year.
Or, Amy, sex is painful.
Can you help me?
And I knew that selling a product was not goingto be enough of a solution to help them.
And that broke my heart, and I really, really,really wanted to do more.
And that's what led me to go back to school andget my sexology certification.
(05:04):
So I really enjoyed doing the parties.
It was just a great flexible way for me to beable to stay home with my children and really,
really help people.
But at the end of so many of those parties, Iwould have a woman that would come up to me and
she would say, Amy, sex is painful.
Intercourse is painful for me, or my husbandand I haven't had sex in a year.
You know, can you help?
(05:24):
And I knew that selling a product was not goingto be enough to help them, that that there was
deeper work to be done there because sexualityis obviously a very, very, you know, wide
ranging, multifaceted, experience andchallenge.
And so that's what led me to go back to schooland get my fifteen month seven hundred fifty
course hour of sexology certification.
(05:46):
Nice.
Amazing.
Yeah.
And then let's jump from there into our topictoday, and and maybe let's start.
I know there's a lot of things on your mind totalk about, but maybe let's start with taking
some of the, like, myths and the taboo
out of it if we could,
and then we can just, you know, go into yourpresentation from there.
(06:07):
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I think that, you know, the thing about analsex, anal intimacy is there's so much curiosity
about it, especially typically typically themale partner is usually pretty, curious about
it, but there is a taboo around it.
There's a lot of misinformation around it.
And, you know, some of the myths, you know,that I think are like, one of the biggest myths
(06:30):
is just start with a penis.
Do not start with a penis.
Right?
You definitely never wanna start with a penis.
You wanna work your way up to that, and that issomething that we will talk about.
I've got a whole step by step guide.
Another huge myth that I bust constantly is,and actually this happened a lot of my parties
(06:51):
is women would come up and say, my husbandwants to try anal.
Can I get some numbing cream?
Do not use numbing cream.
That is an enormous mistake.
The other story that I would get in my parties,because I did lots of them for ER nurses, and
trust me, they wanted to tell me all thestories.
Yeah.
Is that someone would have used a numbingcream, and they would not be able to feel the
(07:13):
pain, and pain is our body's way of sayingsomething is wrong.
Mhmm.
So it's very important to feel that.
So do not ever use numbing cream.
When done properly, slowly, you can avoid mostof the pain, and we'll talk a little bit about
pain tolerance within that.
Mhmm.
And another thing, you know, it's sort of alongthe same lines.
(07:33):
So just get drunk and try it.
It's really good to have your wits about you.
Yeah.
So you were trying this.
So, you know, so those are just a couple of thebig things that I really like to talk about,
you know, when it comes to to sex.
Anal anal intimacy.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
There's so much just like you wanna be present.
You don't wanna push beyond your limits.
You wanna make sure you can feel things, like,I think some really important just basic
(07:58):
guidelines there.
Yeah.
Well, well, where do you wanna lead us today?
Let's get into the presentation you prepared.
Sure.
You know, I think the three biggest questions Ihave always gotten are, is this normal, tell me
about the g spot, and let's talk about anal,because people have the most questions about
that.
And so I like to always lead with a storybecause people also think, oh, as a sexologist,
(08:20):
like, you must have always had this figuredout, and that is 100% now the case.
I have made just as many mistakes as probablythe vast majority of you.
And so I'm gonna tell you my story of the firsttime that I tried to have anal.
And I was with my long term boyfriend.
We were in college, and I made mistake numberone.
(08:41):
We were drunk.
And he was like, well, let's try it.
And I was like, okay.
Well, that was it.
That was the extent of the conversation.
And then we tried it.
Well, it did not go well.
In fact, I literally flew off the bed becauseit hurt so much.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
That was awful.
I will never ever try that again.
(09:02):
And that was that.
And I I think I would expect there's probably alot of other people that have had similar
experiences to that.
And so there's a lot of people who are like,this is just off the table.
This isn't something I wanna try because it'sgoing to hurt.
But, you know, I like to also, you know, sharesome some stats.
And so there was a study.
This is from the Bad Girls Bible.
(09:23):
And they showed that sixty three percent ofwomen enjoy receiving anal sex.
So if you enjoy this, there's nothing wrongwith you here.
You're in the majority of people.
But seventy seven percent of women have hadsome sort of negative anal sex experience.
That's an important stat.
Yeah.
And and and and I think that's why a lot ofpeople are like, I don't wanna I don't wanna
(09:45):
try this.
But another thing that I'd like to share isfifty two percent of women have orgasmed during
anal sex, and twenty nine percent find vaginaland anal sex to be equally enjoyable.
Also good stats.
Yeah.
I mean, I think I wonder in the the instead ofa seventy seven percent have bad experiences,
was that the right number?
(10:05):
Had a negative.
Yep.
But I wonder how much of the time that is dueto just simply not being educated and just kind
of, like, going for it like you're saying andnot having proper lube, not having proper, you
know, preparation and all the various types ofthings that could go wrong.
So I I wonder how much even just thisconversation and going into anal sex with the
(10:27):
knowledge and the education can really couldreally solve a lot of those 77% of, you know,
negative experiences.
Absolutely.
I I think that the I would I would say withinthat 77%, it's because of lack of education and
lack of planning, and that is the number onething that anal sex needs is planning.
(10:48):
It's not just something you can just say, let'sjust try this today.
Yeah.
So so let me tell you about some of the pros.
The some of the pros of anal sex is the firstthing is it is a different type of orgasm, and
many women have much more intense orgasms fromanal sex.
And, honestly, I don't even know exactly whythat is, but there are thousands of nerve
(11:12):
endings in the anus.
And and there's even more, of course, in thevagina and the clitoris.
And so sometimes people even who strugglehaving vaginal orgasms can have anal orgasms.
And then the other thing that I also wannashare is all of this, an anus is an anus,
whether it belongs to, whoever it belongs to,you know, woman, man, non binary.
(11:36):
So all of the the nerve endings and everythingare very similar in there so that the tits that
I'm gonna be sharing here could work with withany butt, so so to say.
Right.
Another, you know, appealing thing about this,obviously, it's a little kinky.
It's a little taboo.
So a lot of people are just like, oh, thisfeels a little naughty, and that end of itself
could be a huge turn on.
(11:57):
There's a lot of curiosity around it.
And so, so that's just, you know, anotherreason to try and explore it.
For some people, this can be a replacement forvaginal sex.
So if for some reason vaginal sex is out of thequestion, whether it's, due to painful
intercourse or, you know, having your period ordifferent things like that, you know, this can
be a substitute potentially.
(12:18):
And then, of course, there is, generallyspeaking, very, very little risk of pregnancy.
There's always a tiny, tiny little risk, but,but there but, obviously, it's really important
to use condoms, unless you have both been fullytested, you know, you're fully monogamous,
because the there is an increased risk ofspreading, STIs.
(12:40):
Yeah.
I I have a couple clients who, at this point,won't even have vaginal sex because as as
heterosexual women, because they just get somuch more pleasure out of anal.
So I think it's good, you know, just for peopleto hear that around, like, wow.
It can be scary.
It can be taboo.
It's like this whole world of unknown.
(13:01):
And at the same time, there's people thatreport, like, loving it so much that they would
actually prefer it over vaginal intercourse.
So I think it's a really important stat, andand, you know, conversation.
What do you feel as far as, like, you know,condoms and condoms, like, are so from a
standpoint of, like, condoms, vaginally, if thecondom happens to come off, it's really easy to
(13:24):
fish out vaginally.
But what about if a condom comes off rectally?
You know, that can be a challenge.
And, hopefully, if the ring is on the outsideof the anus, you'll be able to retrieve it
easily.
If it comes off internally, that may be a tripto the ER.
And you and that that is a risk because, youknow, I I like to say the vagina is an enclosed
(13:48):
cavity.
You know, you cannot lose something inside avagina unless you literally just had a baby and
your cervix is still open, in which case you'renot supposed to be putting anything in there
anyway.
Right.
But the anus is not only not an enclosedcavity, but it actually the sphincter, it can
actually suck things in.
Right.
And that also goes into we'll talk a little bitabout anal toys and making sure that you're
choosing proper ones there.
(14:09):
So, so, yeah, I would say it's it's veryimportant when you are choosing protection to
make sure that, you know, if there's thrusting,you're not going all the way in so that that
ring always stays on the outside of anus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I was in my medical school program withinour radiology class, one of our assignments one
(14:29):
day, they were putting up, images of people'srectums and their lower intestinal tracts, and
we were actually identifying like, the thewhole exercise was trying to identify the
foreign objects that actually were stuck upthere.
So just, you know, your to your point, it'slike, we wanna be we want this is, like, an
amazing thing for many people, but we wanna becautious about it because it can if it there is
(14:54):
a risk if not handled in a way that is that isreally safe that way.
Yes.
Absolutely.
100%.
And, you know, like
I said, the parties that I did for ER nurses,they all had a story of somebody who came in
with something stuck up there.
It was like, that's all they had sounded.
So
Yeah.
That was very eye opening to me back at thatpoint of my life.
I'd I, was very, just unaware of of the play inthat way.
(15:19):
And so it opened my eyes to, oh, this is whatpeople do.
So it was very, very eye opening to me.
Yeah.
At that stage.
Yep.
So, you know, the next thing, obviously and Ijust wanna acknowledge for some people.
If this is off the table for you, that's okay.
Like, I wanna give you permission.
If this is not something that you don't wannado, you don't have to explore it.
I think another mistake that sometimes, peoplemake is they do it just for their partner.
(15:43):
So if this is something that you are tryingout, make sure that you have some level of
openness and curiosity around this as well.
So I give yourself I give you permission toexplore it if you want to.
So let's talk about how to make this fun andpleasurable because we've talked about all of
the pleasure and how some women even prefer itmore.
(16:05):
So how can we make all of that happen?
Right?
Yes.
So the first thing is communication.
Of course.
Right?
Obviously.
And, you know, learning how to have goodcommunication around this is really important,
and this is gonna be mostly one way.
So, again, here, I'm speaking to, the women, tothe Volvo owners in the room.
(16:29):
But I like to say this is pretty easy.
So you can go up to your partner and say, hey.
You know what?
I know you've been wanting to try anal, andguess what?
I'm open to giving it a try, but you're gonnahave to follow my rules.
You know what your partner's gonna say?
Okay.
K.
Yes.
Nope.
I will.
They're gonna be on board.
K?
(16:49):
So And so it's just really important for you tobe comfortable to tell your partner, what to do
and what not to do.
And you need to be able to tell them to slowdown.
You need to be able to tell them to pull outslowly.
You need to be able to tell them to completelystop moving.
These are all very important parts, especiallyin the early when you're learning how to engage
(17:10):
in anal intimacy.
And, of course, your partner needs to actuallylisten to you.
Yes.
I've unfortunately had a few stories wherethere have been partners who just had not paid
attention and have not listened, and, and thoseturned out to be very negative experiences that
were then not repeated.
So both of you guys need to come into it withan open mind and be willing to communicate and
(17:32):
listen.
Very important.
Yeah.
So, so preparation.
Preparation is key here.
You need preparation.
You need planning.
Preparation is going to reduce anxiety.
Preparation is gonna reduce pain.
Preparation is going to make this aspleasurable, as absolutely possible.
And, again, it can be extremely pleasurable.
(17:54):
So, the first thing everyone this is anotherthing I get asked about is, okay.
Well, what if what if there's a mess?
What if something happened?
Yes.
That is the obvious question.
Yep.
And so here's the thing.
We have to acknowledge this.
It this this is this is the outdoor.
This is the exit to the body.
There is a possibility that there may be somemess here, and you guys both need to be okay
(18:19):
with that.
Now we can prep for that.
Some people like to use you don't have to dothis, but some people like to use an enema to
prepare.
You can go you can get, like, a fleet enemafrom the drugstore for, like, a dollar, and you
can use that anywhere from twelve hours to evenjust right before the experience.
You don't have to do that, but if it helps tokind of ease your mind, if you're really
(18:40):
worried if you know that your brain is justgoing to be worried about a mess happening,
then GIST might be a very good thing to helpreduce that anxiety.
And then some supplies that I think you shouldalways have on hand.
You want some towels, some baby wipes.
You know, if there's, like, a little bit thatcomes out, it can just be cleaned up real fast,
either a condom or latex glove.
(19:00):
And super important is using the rightlubricant, and I recommend a silicone based
lubricant or a hybrid lubricant
cap.
Yeah.
That's huge.
And then do you have advice at all when, likeof how to communicate with a partner if it does
get messy?
Because I feel like we can go into thosescenarios and, like, you know, we can prep, we
(19:25):
can know it, and then there's theembarrassment.
Right?
Like, that's happened to me before.
And it's been, like, despite everything I know,it's, like, real embarrassing.
And there's an element where I think too, like,yes, we can go into it, but what is the plan
around, like, you know, aftercare andcommunication where if it does get messy, like,
(19:46):
how do we you know, how would you advise peoplehandle that?
You know, I think if if it's a little mess, ifthere's a little bit leaking out, that's what
the baby wipes are for.
Clean up, see if you can keep moving on.
If it turns out that there is a bigger messthat's happened, I think it's okay to just
pause and stop.
Like, let's just acknowledge that sex ingeneral is messy, and that's okay.
(20:08):
And if we and it's okay to feel someembarrassment, but if you can be like, well,
guess we did that.
Let's go take a shower.
Maybe we'll try this another time.
And just laugh about it.
Like, just be like, well, okay.
I mean, that's what our bodies are meant to do.
Yeah.
And just move on.
You know?
So, I like making jokes.
(20:29):
I like cracking up about things.
You know?
You might not be able to, like, make the jokethe next morning.
Might be a little bit too soon, but, you know,it can always be, oh, you remember that time we
tried it the first time and, yep.
Now we've gotten so much better at it.
You know, I'm so glad that we decided to, youknow, continue to to try to explore this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I
found too.
Laughter is the best way of just calming those,you know, kind of intense emotions and maybe
(20:55):
not in the moment, but if we can keep it lightand not make it a big deal, that can be a huge,
huge way of, just not creating, like,unnecessary stress around our intimate moments.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So the next thing I wanted to talk about just alittle bit, and this is another thing I love to
talk about, and you can probably chime in heretoo, but anatomy is how this works.
(21:17):
Because a lot of people, and this goes backinto my story too, report that anal sex is
painful and, again, when not prepped forproperly.
And the reason for that is the anus.
The anus is a ring of muscle.
It's called the sphincter, and it is designedto keep it tightly closed.
Right?
Because, obviously, we're trying to keep thingsinside our body.
(21:39):
And it's a must it's not like our bicep or ourhamstring, you know, that you can quickly relax
and contract it.
Like, you can't just, like, think, okay.
I'm just gonna relax and contract.
It takes a little while for it to relax, and ittakes a little while to allow things to pass
through it.
So it is a very, very strong but a very, veryslow muscle.
And so if you try to pass something through itquickly,
(22:02):
like I did when I flew
off the bed, when it's closed and you don'thave enough time to relax, you're gonna have a
lot of pain or it's you're simply not gonna beable to get in.
Like, it's just not going to work.
And so the key to this is getting yoursphincter muscle to relax and open up enough so
that you can be penetrated with ease.
(22:22):
So so, basically, from a standpoint of steps.
Right?
So it's like we have our maybe we do our ouranal douche or enema, and then we get all our
towels, and we get our baby wipes, and we havethe conversation, and we're feeling loving, and
we get our protective measures, our condoms,and our lube, and all that.
(22:44):
And then from there, the next step is reallythen playing with a finger, right, or something
small.
Yes.
100%.
The the number one rule is do not start withthe penis.
So start with a lubed finger, Start with a verynarrow, anal toy, and we'll talk about anal
toys in a minute.
You know, if you some people like to have aglove.
You know, again, if you're a little concernedabout, you know, mess and things like that, you
(23:06):
can use half of a well lubed finger.
I also encourage sometimes practicing the solofirst so that you can get a little bit of an
idea of those sensations.
So and this goes, you know, for for all bodies.
But if you practice and kinda get used to whatit's like to consciously relax that muscle,
it's gonna be easier when you're with yourpartner.
(23:29):
But so, yeah, start with a very well lubedfinger.
You know, I say, put a lot of lube around therim of the anus and then a lot on the finger,
and then just kind of gently tinkle excuse me.
Gently tickle around the rim of the anus, a fewtimes.
You know, it might be a minute or two, and itwill slowly start to relax and open up.
(23:50):
And at that point, then you can start insertingthe finger, the very narrow toy at a rate of
what I say is no faster in the beginning of oneinch per minute.
And we're talking, like, millimeter bymillimeter.
Very, very, very slow for the initial entry.
(24:12):
And this is when you're talking.
Okay?
You're saying, okay.
Keep going.
Okay.
Keep going.
If you start to feel a little bit of pain, andit's likely that you will feel a little bit of
pain, especially as you're starting to explorethis the first time.
If you feel that, you just wanna say stop.
Ask your partner to stop with their finger oryou're stopping with your own.
(24:33):
Stop, pause, breathe, let that pain subside,and then you can say, okay.
You can keep going in very, very, very slowlyuntil they go in as far as they can go.
You'll hit a point where they can't go in anyfarther.
And then it's it's sometimes good just to sitthere and let your body get used to that
(24:56):
sensation with the finger or the toy on theinside.
Maybe that's the time that you can get someother types of clitoral, some other types of
stimulation with the first clitoral, vaginal,you know, do a little bit of kissing, you know,
things like that, as your body gets used tofeeling what that feels.
Yeah.
And that's gonna be the sort of initial,penetration.
(25:20):
And then, and then if that's going well, like,if it's going well, then you can start doing
some very, very, very slow thrusting.
Again, we're still with the finger.
We're still with the anal toy.
And so it's good for you to control the pacehere.
So tell your partner, okay.
(25:40):
You know, pull out.
Okay.
You can go in again.
You can tell them to speed up.
You can tell them to slow down.
It's kinda depending on what you want.
And if it's not going well, I I I often saythat sometimes it's gonna take several sessions
before you can work your way up to a penis.
So sometimes just that first thrust may be allthat works for you this time, and that's okay.
(26:02):
I celebrate that you guys got that far, and nowyou know a little bit more, to explore for the
next time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think what we're really doing is we'reteaching the nervous system to relax.
Right?
And when you're talking, we're talking aboutthat muscle around, like, less control.
Like, most of us, like, other than just, like,the normal, like, functions of daily, you know,
(26:23):
living, you know, we go to the bathroom, and wedon't think about these muscles.
We don't think about the nerves in there.
We don't think about the level of control wehave to actually relax them.
So we're I think we're some of what we're doinghere is just really almost getting that mind
connection to the nervous system of all ofthose nerves there to communicate better, to
say, like, oh, I actually do have more controlover this area to relax.
(26:46):
And, you know, then maybe we realize, and andwe're just teaching our body to do that.
And because it's a new skill, I love yourmethodology of, you know, how slow you're going
here.
I think it's it's really essential.
And I wanna be clear for, like, the listeners.
I I believe what you're saying too, and correctme if I'm wrong, is, like, while this is the
entry process before the penis, do you stillrecommend then once somebody is like acclimated
(27:14):
to anal and they've been having full penileanal sex for a while, do you still recommend
starting with a finger or a toy in everysession, or do you find that's less necessary
as people get more acclimated?
I think it's less necessary as people get moreacclimated.
You know, as you to your point, you're teachingyour body.
You're learning how to relax those muscles.
(27:34):
You're learning to how to have more controlwith them.
And practice makes perfect.
So the more you do this, the more you practicethis, the easier it's going to be.
Now you always, always, always won't needlubricants.
Like, the AS does not lubricate itself, so thatis essential.
But I would say that, generally speaking, ifyou've been doing this a while, you may not
(27:56):
necessarily need that prep.
But, you know, it's interesting too becausesometimes even though your mind really wants
this, your body might fight with you on it.
And and so because it's, again, it's a veryconscious relaxing of this muscle.
So, but, you know, you know, once you're goodwith having one finger inserted, then your
(28:18):
partner can insert a second very well lubedfinger and, even working their way up to three.
And once they once you can get three fingers onthe inside, then you are ready to try exploring
with a penis.
Another action is they have some different analtrainer sets where you have, like, three
different sizes, that can be inserted that, youknow, go up from sort of the width of a finger
(28:41):
to about the width of the girth of the averagepenis.
Yeah.
And so I feel like starting in that slowincremental way can really help take, like,
that fear out of things.
It's like if you look at the size of a pinkyversus the size of a penis.
Right?
It's like, oh, this is okay.
This is much it's, like, I think
just a lot easier for people to wrap theirbrain around.
(29:03):
So thank you for for that process.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So let's say things are going well, and you'veworked your way up to three fingers, or you've
you've worked your way up to, you know, thewider toy, and you're like, okay.
I think we're ready.
I think we're ready to try with the penis.
So here's the next thing that people often dowrong, is position makes a huge difference.
(29:28):
And, of course, the the vision that most peoplehave of anal sex is gonna be doggy style.
That is actually one of the more difficultpositions to get in because our body when we
are in that hands and knees position, and ourbottom is up in the air, it's very difficult.
It's even more difficult to consciously reactrelax those muscles.
(29:50):
So, so I do not ever recommend starting in thatposition.
Can you get into that eventually?
Yes.
But that's not going to be your startingposition.
So for the very first time that you are tryingwith a penis, this is gonna be a little bit
surprising for people, but you are actuallygoing to ask the partner with a penis to lay on
their back, and you're gonna tell that partner,do not thrust and do not move.
(30:13):
And you are going to be the person beingpenetrated is going to be in control.
And so you can either get into the cowgirlposition or maybe the Asian cowgirl where
you've got your feet flat on the ground.
You're gonna apply lots and lots and lots oflube to the penis.
You're gonna add some more lube, onto the rimof the anus, and then you are going to be
(30:36):
lowering your body onto their penis.
And that is giving you control that is givingyou control of how how deep it's going, of how
fast it's going.
And, you know, you're gonna grab a hold of thepenis and slowly guide it in.
And if you experience discomfort, you're gonnapause.
You're gonna breathe.
And, again, you've got control over this now.
(30:58):
So, so you will be able to know how deep youcan go, how far you can go.
And then once they are completely inside you,they can't go any deeper, then you can start to
slowly raise your body up and down.
And if that's going well, then at that point,you can say, okay.
I'd like you to try a little bit of thrusting,or go ahead and move your body a little bit.
(31:19):
And, you know, and that will, again, let youstart to experience the the bigger, deeper
sensations that come with anal sex.
Now I know you mentioned in, like, the warm up,like, people could, you know, suggest, like,
people could play, like, clitoral play orvaginal play.
At what point though, really in this process doyou like, now we're on so penile involvement.
(31:44):
What point do you recommend, like, okay, maybelet's try bringing in some touching and feeling
and playing and other body parts.
Like, just from a standpoint of when I askedfrom a standpoint of I think there's so much
that we're concentrating on in those initialstages of, like, okay, breathe, Relax.
Okay.
(32:04):
It's okay.
Keep going.
So have you found and it's probably, you know,person independent, but have you found in any
any way, like, a general recommendation around,like, oh, now the mind is relaxed enough where
now it's good to bring in these other things,or, like, actually, it's better to bring in
those other things earlier because they canprovide some softness and some other means of
(32:26):
pleasure.
Any thoughts on that?
I mean, I I think to to your point, I thinkit's probably individual, but I would say at
any point during the process, it you cancertainly incorporate any other types of
stimulation.
Again, this is all increasing pleasure.
This is all pleasure enhancements.
I think a lot of women find that some somepeople can orgasm just with anal.
(32:48):
A lot of people find that anal is aaccelerator, to orgasmic pleasure, with other
stimulation.
So, you know, sometimes maybe if you're in thatmoment where you're not able to thrust yet,
that might be a really great time for someclitoral stimulation.
You can give that to yourself if your partnercan be reaching around, grab a toy, you know,
(33:10):
any of those things.
And that is also training your brain toassociate pleasure and anal, activation at the
same time.
So it's also starting to connect those twothings for you.
So I would say at any point in the process, ifthere's no wrong point, I would say that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(33:30):
Perfect.
Well, amazing.
What a great presentation.
Is there anything else on your list that youwanna make sure we get covered today?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I wanna
make sure that we talk a little bit about analtoys as well because because there's some
important things there.
Another, intro position that I also like tosuggest is, is the person being penetrated
(33:50):
being on their back.
Because when you are on your back, legs up,then your sphincter is actually naturally very
relaxed.
And so that is also a much easier way topenetrate.
So that's in the door intro position that Ireally like.
Great.
Perfect.
So let's talk about anal toys because to yourpoint, you've seen lots of things stuck up
there.
(34:11):
And so the biggest, most important rule foranal toys is you need to have a wide t shaped
flanked base.
I've seen I've seen so many toys that I'm like,how are these things on the market?
It's terrifying.
Something with a string with a little loop onthe end of it?
(34:31):
No.
That can get sucked in.
You need a wide flanged base on the end of thattoy so that it cannot get sucked in because
your body can actually suck it in.
So we wanna make sure that in the heat of themoment, if there's, you know, heavy thrusting
going on and it's a little bit loopy, it's alittle bit slippery, if you lose, you know, if
(34:52):
you lose your grip on it, that it doesn't go onin.
So wide flank of bass, super, super important.
I also like to say that, you wanna be verycareful about getting any fecal matter inside
the vagina.
Right?
So a recipe for back bacterial vaginosis, yeastinfections.
(35:12):
So any toy that has been in the anus, you donot want to move it around, and put it into the
vagina.
So I said once it goes back, it never goesback, meaning right.
And anal play can be very, very pleasurable formen as well.
That's probably a whole other podcast.
But if you guys are both exploring this, makesure that you have separate anal toys.
(35:34):
You have yours, and your partner has their own,because, yes, you can clean them, but you just
don't wanna risk that.
I mean, that's there there are people that havedied because of God from getting other people's
fecal matter inside their bodies.
So you don't wanna risk any of that.
And, you know, and then there's there's lots ofdifferent types of anal toys.
There's the butt plugs, and so those canvibrate or not vibrate.
(35:58):
Some people like to put that in while you'redoing other things, having intercourse,
clitoral, vaginal stimulation, oral sex, and itgives you this very kind of full feeling.
A lot of people like that.
There's also anal beads, and beads would go inand provide sort of a popping sensation as they
pull out.
Again, make sure you've got that flamed base.
(36:18):
I see those with the loops, and they scare me.
Oh my gosh.
And and pulling out those beads during theorgasm can be, whoo, like, a completely, like,
make you see stars kind of experience.
Mhmm.
So and then there's some lube launchers aswell, and I I I'm not as familiar with these,
(36:39):
but these actually put lube deep inside theanal cavity so that it's already lubed up on
the inside.
So I would say I don't know if you necessarilyneed this, but if you are having trouble, I
think if you're using the right lube, you'regonna be okay.
But if you're really having a hard time withstaying lubricated, then that might be
something to consider as well.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Amazing.
I love all of all of those toys and all of thatinformation.
(37:01):
And I think just to add I know I know you'rekinda insinuating this, but it's just to add
for clarity around, like, when we're sayingonce to the back, not to the front again, or
back to back as you're saying.
We're also talking about penile insertion aswell.
Right?
So I just wanna make sure everybody is hearingthat.
Everything.
Yeah.
Now if if you're exploring with the fingerfirst and that's gone on the backside, you need
(37:22):
to go wash your hands before that goes anywherenear the clitoris, the vagina, anything like
that.
Very very young.
Important.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the exciting thing to me too that I alsowanna mention here is the the research that
I've seen on some of these toys for men thatare used anally and helping with things like
prostatitis, like the health benefits.
(37:44):
And I don't think there's been that I've seen,like, good studies on women, you know, in that
sort of way from a health benefit standpoint,but I'm sure there's stuff out there.
You know, we need we just we need moreresearch, but it was very exciting to me to be
like, oh, this is not just about pleasure.
Like, of course, it's about pleasure and funand fantasy and hotness and all things, but
(38:04):
there's actually legitimate health benefitsthat we're now seeing that can actually can
come from this sort of play
as well.
So very exciting.
Yeah.
I think that is really exciting, and I thinkthat that's important to highlight because, you
know, there there's also talking about myths inthe very beginning.
There's this there's this I hope this I knowit's still a myth.
I can't believe it's still a myth.
It's 2024, '20 '20 '5.
But, you know, that that anal sex is only forgay men, and that is 100% not true.
(38:30):
Anyone with a butt can enjoy anal play.
Fan sees a lot of cis, hetero, men that really,really enjoy anal play.
And, yes, the the benefits for, prostate healthare enormous and documented.
And the process that I just explained, this isthe same for men.
Now stimulating the prostate, prostate milking,all of that, that's going to be a a more
(38:54):
extensive process.
Again, another podcast, but, yeah, there thereare really some great health benefits there.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Well, thank you for all your research and yourwealth of knowledge today, and I know we're
gonna wrap up and tell everybody how to getahold of you and, tell them about your podcast
and some other great things you have comingdown the pipeline and some some gifts for them.
(39:15):
Before we do all that, is there any, like,final thought on anal in this conversation that
we did not mention that you feel like we haveto say?
You know, I think just, you you mentionedearlier aftercare.
You know?
This is talking about it.
You know, after the experience, obviously,washing up, taking care of each other, little
cuddling, making sure you wash your hands verythoroughly.
(39:36):
But then, you know, the next day, sharing, oh,I really liked it when you did this, or when
you thrust like that, that was very positive.
You know, and be specific.
Like, I need a little bit more time for you torelax before you start thrusting.
So and it's certainly ask for your partner'sfeedback too, but I think that is what is going
to continue to grow that experience betweenThank you.
(39:59):
So
Yeah.
Thank you for that, and thank you for breakingthis down and just making it so attainable for
people.
So let's talk about your podcast and what youhave going on.
Yeah.
Well, I would first of all, doctor Diane helpedwith the launch of the podcast, and so I had
partnered with another sexologist, doctor TrinaReid.
She is out of Canada, and, our podcast iscalled the Sensational Sex Podcast.
(40:22):
And we help women in long term relationshipsthrive after the honeymoon stage is over.
Every episode, we take a common challenge thatwomen are experiencing in the bedroom.
We break it down, and we give you three or fourlittle micro tips and say, apply one of these
to your bedroom, listen next week, and watchyour sex life transform.
So if you're listening to doctor Diane'spodcast, we know that you're curious in
(40:45):
learning about intimacy, so I would love toinvite you to come listen to ours as well.
Additionally, we have a couple freebies onsensationalsexpodcast.com.
You can get a download to uncover your sexhistory, and going through that process can
help you learn some of the things that maybehave been holding you back from experiencing
(41:06):
the pleasure and passion that you're lookingfor, and help to open the doors to
communication.
So we've got that download.
We have an are you sexy checklist.
And then, also, I invite you to connect withme.
I am a sex and intimacy coach.
I primarily work work with women and couplesexperiencing intimacy challenges or who want to
learn how to enhance their pleasure and explorenew horizons, if you'd like to connect with me
(41:28):
directly, come to suburbanintimacy.com, book afree discovery call.
And then I also have five tips for sexyscheduled sex that you can download on my
website as well.
Perfect.
And we will have all of that in our show notestoday, everybody.
So we'll have all of Amy's links and how to geta hold of her.
I'm also gonna include my favorite lube foranal.
(41:51):
It's a silicone based lube called Uber Lube,which is my favorite favorite lube on the
market really for that.
And if if you have any, tips on your favoritelube, we could include those as as well.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Uber Lube is fantastic.
So Yeah.
You, doctor Diane, for inviting me back.
I love this, and, I hope that people are arecurious.
And, you know, sort of last thoughts is justkeep an open mind to this.
(42:15):
You know?
Even if you had a negative experience in thepast with this, just know that with
communication, with education, this can be avery, very pleasurable and just new horizon for
you and your partner to explore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I I was interviewing, Susan Bratton, who's anamazing intimacy sexpert, couple months ago,
and she anal came up for just a short littlejust a brief moment in that podcast, but she
(42:40):
has made a brief mention around, like, oh, weas we get older and as we change, our sexual
styles and what we're interested in changestoo.
So she was just briefly talking about, like,hey.
There might be one point of life that analsounds horrible.
And then all of a sudden, it's like, oh,actually, I might be, you know, open to that.
So we we change and evolve in what our sexualdesires and fantasies and interests and all
(43:03):
these things are as as we change and develop ashuman beings.
So it's a great point.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Well, thank you everybody.
And thank you, Amy.
This has been such a wonderful episode of thelounge.
Please do subscribe, please do share this withyour friends so we can get this information out
there.
The work Amy and I are both doing is in part tomake these conversations so much less taboo, to
(43:26):
give you a space to really communicate, toexperience the pleasure that we were truly
meant to have as humans to help ourselves behappier, have better relationships, regulate
our hormones, regulate our stress response, andso much more.
So thanks everybody for being here.
Please check out those show notes, and we'llsee you next time.
(43:49):
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
Please don't keep me a secret.
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
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