May 8, 2025 • 38 mins
Are you experiencing vaginal pain and numbness and unsure of what's causing it? This video aims to provide you with a comprehensive guide to help you understand the possible reasons behind your symptoms. From hormonal imbalances to underlying medical conditions, we'll explore the common causes of vaginal pain and numbness. Whether you're experiencing pain during sex, numbness in your vulva, or discomfort during daily activities, this video is designed to provide you with the information you need to take the first step towards finding relief and regaining control over your reproductive health.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
If I reflect all the way back to my teenageyears, there was this drive in me to explore my
own sexuality, my own pleasure, and to feelsexually empowered.
And then coming into my early twenties, Istarted coming across new teachings.
I attended different kind of workshops throughmy travels, kind of alternative ways of
(00:24):
connecting to my body and ended up having a bigawakening where I realized that the way I'd
been pursuing my own sexual empowerment wasactually quite disconnected from myself and my
own body.
And part of that was the discovering and thecreation of products that actually supported
that.
One of the reasons why when women switch fromvibrators to a non vibrating pleasure wand, one
(00:47):
of the reasons why that is such a significantexperience for women is because when we slow
down and actually start to presence them, it'slike, there's actually a lot of information
that wants to be felt and met before our bodycan, authentically open into deeper pleasure.
One of the first practices that I invite womeninto is called I think there's this notion in
(01:07):
the spiritual healing community of, you know,feel it to heal it.
We receive just, you know, endless stories fromwomen who work with the wands for dearmoring
purposes or just to start to experience slowerself pleasure that's more connected to
themselves.
One of my favorite stones to work with,particularly for a woman who is, like, in
between relationships or perhaps even goingthrough a breakup is, one of the other, like,
(01:33):
stronger and really popular stones is
Hey, everybody.
Quick break at our episode to talk to you aboutour sponsor, My Libido Doc.
One of the things that we truly believe is thatgreat sex is available to everyone, but we just
(01:54):
have to learn how.
So head over to our site to get your free copyof our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing
Orgasms and Romance.
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sexlife around, rev up your engines, and fall in
deeper love and passion with yourself and yourpartner.
(02:16):
So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you willfind that e book there for download.
Now back to our show.
Hey, everybody.
I am so excited to introduce you to CourtneyDavis.
We are gonna have a great show, and this showis going to be really targeting women, but also
(02:37):
is gonna be amazing for any male partners intheir lives too because you're gonna learn a
little bit more about how to really please thewoman in your life.
One of the things that we see so often is thatwomen can hold emotions in their vagina and
their cervix and their clitoris and all oftheir lovely, lovely, lovely erogenous zones.
(03:00):
And with this, sometimes sex can be painful.
Sometimes we can dissociate.
Sometimes things can be numb.
And oftentimes, we are not told about this, andwe're not told how to deal with these feelings
and how to process through allowing our bodiesto release these, allowing our bodies to
actually experience the pleasure that we wereborn for.
(03:21):
So this is why I invited Courtney to the showtoday.
She's a sexual wellness entrepreneur, and she'sa pioneer of the slow pleasure movement, which
is amazing.
Right?
Because one of the things I know I hear overand over and over again from women across the
board is that it is too fast, that we need toslow down.
So she's a pioneer of this movement, and she'salso developed a ton of product lines,
(03:46):
including the wands crystal pleasure wand.
And I have one here today.
She's gonna show off a bunch for us as well.
And gonna talk about how this is different thanclassic dildos or vibrators, and what it can
actually help you do to bring more pleasureinto your life.
She has a ton of other cool products like thefree bleed waterproof blankets, helping women
(04:09):
to go through their menses without the use ofuncomfortable and sometimes toxic pads and
tampons, and so much more.
So everybody, I am your host, doctor Diane, thefounder of my libido doc, and I am thrilled you
are here with me today, everybody.
And thank you, Courtney.
I'm thrilled to have you as well.
Thank you, and welcome to the show.
(04:30):
Thank you for having me.
Well, we're gonna talk about all these juicytopics I talked about today.
But before we do that, I wanna hear a littlebit about just you because this is such an
interesting company you own.
Right?
You're making products and really supportingwomen in a in a in a kind of a different way
than a lot of our, like, traditional sex toycompanies are doing.
(04:53):
So how did you get involved in this superunique way of supporting females?
Yeah.
I think, you know, if I if I reflect all theway back to my teenage years, there was this
drive in me to explore my own sexuality, my ownpleasure, and to feel sexually empowered.
(05:15):
And initially, that came with sort of images ofwhat sexual empowerment looked like through the
media and, you know, Samantha Jones, that kindof thing.
And so, you know, initially, it it looked likeusing vibrators, buying my girlfriends all of
their first vibrators, really being like anadvocate for my own right and other women's
right to to pursuing their own pleasure.
(05:37):
And that continued through my teenage years,you know, even embracing like more promiscuous
behavior and feeling a rightness in that inmyself.
And then coming into my early twenties, I Istarted coming across new teachings.
I attended different kind of workshops throughmy travels, kind of alternative ways of
(05:58):
connecting to my body, and ended up having abig awakening where I realized that the way I'd
been kind of pursuing my own sexual empowermentwas actually quite disconnected from myself and
my own body.
So then came in a deeper journey of reallylearning what it meant to feel myself, to honor
myself, and then to experience my sexualityfrom that place.
(06:23):
And part of that was the discovering and thecreation of products that actually supported
that.
So whereas vibrators and more conventional sextoys can be great, you know, I still use them
from time to time.
I found that that was more so, like, this highstimulation, almost like chasing a feeling type
(06:43):
experience.
Whereas with the pleasure wands, the one thatyou held up a couple minutes ago and the other
ones that we offer, it's really about invitingwomen to slow down and connect with more subtle
sensations, connect with where they areemotionally in the moment, and meeting their
body and their deep tissues in a much moreintimate way.
(07:05):
Yeah.
It's it's so wonderful, and I really appreciatewhat you're saying around this, you know, level
of disconnection with this part of ourselves.
What do you think is in and I you know, this istotally opinion.
Right?
Because there's so many different people we seein the world that can help us with, our sexual
history.
(07:25):
But with what you've seen in your work, what doyou think some of the biggest things are that
lead to a woman to be disconnected from her ownbody parts, this, her own female anatomy?
Like, why does this even happen, and how does awoman even know if this is happening to her?
Yeah.
I think a lot of it just stems from, like, ourour lifestyle and society and the pace that we
(07:48):
are living at.
Like, there's just not enough slowing down,presencing, really meeting ourselves where we
are in the moment.
It's a lot of, like, operating from sort of thevision of of where we think we need to get to
as opposed to starting from where we are andthen actually listening to the intelligence of
the body.
Like, what is the body asking for?
(08:08):
Where is the body guiding us?
There's a lot of to the yeah.
Living from the the mental constructs and thepatterns that we, you know, adapted and adopted
to survive in given the conditions that we'reall being brought up in.
So I think, yeah, just basic, like, principlesof how how we've adapted to live.
(08:30):
The society that we're in is a starting point.
And then from there is is, like, we'veinternalized a lot of unhelpful ideas around
sex, and I think that there's a verymasculinized portrayal of female sexuality that
also exists in the media where women, you know,were watching porn or were watching movies and
(08:53):
we're expecting our our bodies to respond in acertain way based on being shown.
And a lot of us aren't even provided the ideathat maybe maybe that's actually not what our
body wants.
And that's not actually what brings pleasure.
That's not what fulfills us.
And that's not to say high stimulation, like,high intensity experiences can't be fulfilling,
(09:17):
but it's more so, like, where is thatexperience arising from?
Is it coming from a pattern and somethingyou've just internalized seeing in in the
outside world, or is it arising from the truelonging of the body?
Yeah.
I think you bring up some really importantpoints, I've, you know, I've noticed in my own
life, like, around this, what we're talkingabout around, oh, there's just so much going on
(09:38):
and, you know, it's so easy to deprioritizepleasure that one of the points I wanted to
bring up is that this whole concept, right, Ithink it's like a it's an evolution of, like,
changing and and relearning it over and overand over again.
So it's like, oh, finally figure out how to,like, slow down and be more present and balance
stress, and then all of a sudden, life kicks usinto our familial patterns, and all of a
(10:02):
sudden, we might feel that disconnection.
And so at least in my own experience, it's likethis kind of this ebb and flow of like
realizing, oh, I'm actually disconnected frommy own body, and here's how to get back into
it.
And for me, one of the biggest triggers Inotice is if I'm disconnected from my own body
(10:23):
and I'm, like, not feeling, you know, thepleasure, I'm not dropping into the sensations,
some of that is just realizing my mind wandersmore, some of it is realizing that I'm, like,
snappier, some of it is just this feeling of,like, ending every day with this sense with
this, statement of, I'm so exhausted, andthat's, like, a big key if I start saying that
(10:44):
a lot, right, to trigger me into saying, what?
You might not be fully in your body right now.
So and I bring this up because then, you know,kind of the follow-up question for you is,
like, how do women and and humans too.
I mean, I think this applies to all humans.
But how do how do we begin to realize, like,okay, we are more disconnected, and we are more
(11:05):
disconnected to our our pleasure centers?
Because I think what can happen sometimes is weget into these habits and we get busy and we
get overwhelmed, we start these new, like,paths, And then all of a sudden, it's like one
month, a quarter, a year goes by, and we'vebeen disconnected from our pleasure center this
whole time and haven't even realized it.
(11:27):
So have you seen anything that helps, like,helps people kinda just realize this?
Like, wow.
I'm disconnected.
I'm not feeling.
I'm not enjoying sensation.
I'm not enjoying pleasure.
And, you know, maybe I'm, like, evencompletely, you know, numb in my genitals and
in my anatomy.
What what are, like, some of the key thingsthat you have found to help women realize this,
oh, yeah.
(11:48):
I need to do some of these practices toactually come home to myself again.
Yeah.
I think, unfortunately, a lot of times, it itinvolves, like, symptoms getting to the point
where women just can't help but start to lookdeeper.
It's like extreme burnout or lack offulfillment in their sex life or vaginal pain,
pelvic pain.
In a lot of cases, is like a more extremesymptom that forces us to look deeper and have
(12:13):
to explore something something else.
You know, when it's a more subtle symptom, likemaybe it's a lack of natural vaginal
lubrication, like you're having trouble gettingnaturally lubricated even though you're only 25
years old.
It's easy to, you know, to think, oh, maybesomething's going like, dismiss it.
(12:34):
Like, maybe something's a little bit off withmy hormones.
Maybe I'm a little bit stressed.
But it's like, as the symptom gets stronger andstronger, we we are faced with having to look
at it and and really uncover the root.
So, yeah, I think I think the the big in yourface symptoms is certainly one of them, and
then there's gonna be people who are aresensitive to a lack of fulfillment at earlier
(12:55):
stages.
Know?
For some people, they'll they'll really feellike, man, I'm not I'm not sexually fulfilled
here, or I'm not I'm not nourished here withwhatever's going on in my life to the extent
that I know I can be, and and so then begins aninvestigation of that.
Yeah.
So and then my follow-up question of that is,okay.
So somebody has gone through this.
(13:17):
They realize that they are, like, disconnected.
And one of the places, and and really allplaces, we can store, I think, trauma and
emotions and memory in all places.
I think the pelvic floor is so interestingbecause in, chiropractic medicine, I'm not a
chiropractor but I'm a naturopathic doctor andwe're trained in some chiropractic medicine.
(13:38):
And in chiropractic medicine, there's this kindof saying of like as above, so below, so what's
happening in the top of the spine and the topof the structure happens, like, really kind of,
like, the opposite, like, like below in thepelvis.
So if we're talking about a problem in thisexample that arises in the jaw, then you will
(13:58):
see that a similar type of pattern actuallyarise in the sacrum and the pelvis area.
And this is like super interesting to memedically speaking when it comes to this
concept of vaginal pain because so many peoplewalk around grinding their teeth, locked jaw,
like, you know, clenching TMJ, it's such aproblem.
(14:21):
And then whatever's going on in the jaw is oneof many things that can actually translate down
to the pelvis.
We wind up with our pelvic floor musclestightening, we wind up with this, like the
cervix and some of the muscles that are goinginto our vagina, that are going into our
clitoris, all of these areas, they almost are,like, locked down just like the jaw can.
(14:43):
And I think this is one of the many reasons whypeople have things like pelvic pain and and,
vaginal issues is because of that stress andeverything you're talking about, and, like,
literally, we carry that in our musculature andin our ligaments.
So one of the things that, you know, has alwaysinterested me about the wands is this idea of
(15:06):
dearmoring, of actually allowing these musclesand these ligaments and these tendons that tend
to not only get tight to make us be in pain,but also store memories, also store stress,
also store all of these emotions.
So can you talk to us a little bit about whatyou've seen?
Have you seen anything, like, specificallyaround the concept of, like, why like what does
(15:29):
it look like for these areas to hold emotion,and what is the process of of dearmoring to
help these muscles actually release, and whathave you seen with that?
Yeah.
So when it comes to dearmoring, like, there canbe this deeper exploration of, like, yeah,
deeper massage, really, like, working with thethe structure of the pelvis.
(15:52):
And Courtney, real fast before you go on, canyou actually take a step back and explain to
everybody what dearmoring means?
Because I think everybody might not know thatterm.
So would you mind starting there?
Yeah.
Thanks.
Yeah.
So dearmoring dearmoring comes from the notionthat our tissue can armor itself as a way of
(16:13):
basically protecting itself or holding emotionor information, unprocessed memories, that kind
of thing.
And so we are particular particularly prone todeveloping armor in our erogenous zones.
And so with dearmoring, it's about workingusually hands on, more like deep physical,
(16:37):
emotional, energetic meeting of the tissue toallow what is stored there to be released, to
move, and so it's no longer being held there.
It's no longer stagnant.
It's no longer contributing to things like painand numbness.
It's dearmoring is is newer in the sense like,you know, if you talk to most medical doctors,
(17:00):
they're not going to they're not going to knowwhat it is or even know to suggest it.
Not a medical term.
But, yeah, more and more women are waking up toit and developing a hands on relationship with
their own tissue and discovering how much isactually held there and creating symptoms that
(17:20):
medically are otherwise hard to explain.
Yeah.
I I love it.
I I look at I love to, you know, just try tofind a scientific reason for everything.
Not that there is one, but as much as possible,it really helps my brain get behind the
understanding of this.
So I I've looked at dearmoring as almost likewhen we do, like, a trigger point massage.
(17:42):
Right?
And one of the things that happens with triggerpoint massage is when we find these areas where
there's maybe these these what am I blanking onmy words?
But essentially where the the fascia and thethe muscles kinda get tangled, almost like
adhesions.
Right?
So when we get these places, say, in ourquadriceps and our biceps, you know, some of
(18:05):
these other areas, we the muscle will notfunction as well, and they hold a lot of
stress.
They hold a lot of trauma, but they basicallyare just uncomfortable.
The muscle's not functioning.
And when we do, like, a trigger point massage,what we're doing is few different things, but
one of the things we're doing is bringing thebrain's awareness of this tissue and what's
going on to help with the healing, and that'ssort of how I've looked at the some of the the
(18:30):
process of the armoring is, like, okay.
What we're doing in a way is similar to anyother muscle in our body in many ways.
Obviously, it's a little more sensitive, andit's a little more erotic and all these other
juicy yummy things, but we're essentiallyallowing these, the muscle muscles and tissues
to like, the neurological system to findthemselves better and the muscles and tissues
(18:51):
to, process better and to move better and tofunction better and and all those things just
like any other muscle.
So so what is the process then as far asdearmoring, as far as getting these muscles to
function and bringing the awareness back andall this sort of thing?
What is the process that you've seen with,like, the wand, and I know you have some wands
(19:12):
there too, that is different than somebody,say, just using a traditional vibrator for
something like this?
Yeah.
So a traditional vibrator or just highstimulation contact like that is generally not
gonna create enough space to really presencewhatever the information is that we're trying
(19:34):
to contact.
Like, one of the reasons why when women switchfrom vibrators to a non vibrating pleasure
wand, one of the reasons why that is such asignificant experience for women is because it
no longer allows them to bypass a bunch ofinformation that's there.
Like, with vibrators, we can just kind of driveourselves with simulation towards that peak
(19:54):
pleasure experience.
Whereas when we're actually slowed down with,like, a pleasure wand contacting ourselves in
the moment, it's like we're meeting much moreof the information that's there, including
Hey, everybody.
Quick break at our episode to talk to you aboutour sponsor, MyLibidoDoc.
One of the things that we truly believe is thatgreat sex is available to everyone, but we just
(20:20):
have to learn how.
So head over to our site to get your free copyof our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing
Orgasms and Romance.
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sexlife around, rev up your engines, and fall in
deeper love and passion with yourself and yourpartner.
(20:42):
So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you willfind that e book there for download.
Now back to our show.
Boundaries including, you know, storedemotions, trauma, things that we may have
experienced but kind of bypassed in the moment,in our past, and then when we slow down and
(21:03):
actually start to presence them, it's like,wow.
There's actually a lot of information thatwants to be felt and met before our body can
authentically open into deeper pleasure.
And so In some ways, it's I'm sorry.
Please continue.
Go ahead.
And so, when, like, for women to begin theprocess of dearmoring, a lot of times, like, it
(21:23):
it's not even about moving towards deepermassage right away.
It's like, can you actually just slow down,like, place a hand on yourself, breathe, and
meet what is here right now, and then we godeeper from there.
And then I'm curious what your process is, andI know, you know, like we talked about you have
(21:44):
courses and all sorts of training materials forfor people, but kind of big picture wise, I'm
curious what your process is if, like, if awoman is interested in trying this because
there can be so many, like you said, there canbe so many emotions, right, and these areas,
especially when we get into, you know, certainparts of our vagina, and for a lot of women,
(22:05):
their cervix, since we hold so many memoriesthere, but also this is a part of the body that
is not touched hardly at all.
And so there can be so much, just stuff there.
Right?
You like you said, emotion stuff to process.
And because of that, it can be a wild processsometimes of like, wow, why is this pain or why
(22:25):
is this numb or why do I touch this place?
And I immediately want to cry and like yousaid, like, get the information and what it's
teaching us, which can be a wide variety ofthings.
So how do you find in your process of goingslow, since I know that's part of your process,
how do you find that women should start withthis in a way that when things come up, it's
(22:47):
going at a pace that their nervous system canhandle and and and those kind of things?
How do how like, walk us through kind of, like,the beginning part of of the pleasure practice.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So in in my coursework and when I start toteach women how to go on this journey for
themselves, we start really gently.
(23:08):
Like, before there's even physical hands ontouch, we are just simply bringing our
awareness to our vagina to the to the pelvicbowl.
One of the first practices that I invite womeninto is just called yoni gazing.
So it's the practice of sitting in front of amirror and meditatively gazing at their vulva
(23:30):
and just being with what arises.
And a lot of times there's, you know, there'sshame, there's all kinds of voices that come up
just through that practice alone.
And so, yeah, we start slowly just by, like,starting to presence our attention on the
vagina and the pelvic bowl, and then reallytitrating.
(23:54):
Like, we're it's not about going in and, like,cleaning up all of the unprocessed information
all at once.
It's like, hey, let's go in.
Let's meet a couple of layers, and then let'stake a break and allow the body and the whole
nervous system to restabilize.
I think there's this notion in the spiritualhealing community of, you know, feel it to heal
it and people wanna feel it all the waythrough.
(24:16):
And at the same time, if if your approach isalways trying to feel more so that you can come
to completion and heal, it's like you're alwaysgonna find more to feel.
So I'm not a huge advocate of like diggingdeeper and deeper and deeper.
More so like, let's go in, feel a couple oflayers come out, stabilize, and then feel when
(24:36):
that next natural wave comes of wanting to godeeper deeper again.
Yeah.
I couldn't really I kinda agree with you morethere.
That resonates with me so much because I havefound sometimes that when we just kinda get in
this process, right, of, like, pushing andpushing and pushing and that alone can be
dissociative.
Like, there's so many things that when there'sso many, like, parts of processing that when
(25:00):
something comes up, allowing the nervous systemto, like you said, stabilize.
And to me, that's, like, almost coming backinto that parasympathetic, that part that is
restful, where it's healing, where the nervoussystem is sending out the signals of safety.
And if we're just pushing, pushing, pushing,pushing, essentially, I think what we're doing
(25:20):
is we're just allowing that stimulative thesympathetic system to be moving so quickly, and
that is, like, where we pop out of our body.
Right?
When it's, like, so much, the body can'tstabilize, you know, using your words, and and
we tend to dissociate more easily and that sortof thing.
(25:40):
So in this sort of practice then, have youseen, like, what have you seen as far as, like,
healing occur with the wand?
Like, have you seen things like pelvic paincompletely disappear?
Have you seen vaginal numbness disappear?
Like, you know, what other amazing kind ofthings have you seen from the use of your wand?
(26:02):
Yeah.
I've seen so much of that, like, justregularly, you know, women having profound
experiences right from oftentimes, like, thevery first experience of holding their wand and
sort of realizing the journey they're about togo on.
It's like, even that in itself is is a big wakeup for a lot of women.
But, yeah, we receive just, you know, endlessstories from women who work with the wands for
(26:24):
dearmoring purposes or just to start toexperience slower self pleasure that's more
connected to themselves.
Pelvic pain, pussy pain, that's a huge one thatwe continuously receive testimonials of people
healing and recovering completely from that,where through using Pleasure Ones and some of
(26:46):
the practices that they teach, it's like suchreconnection and, like, recognition of
boundaries, desires, needs comes into placewhere the pain and the armoring that was there
to sort of protect parts of themselvespreviously just gets to drop away and all new
levels of pleasure and sensitivity can comeonline.
(27:09):
So, yeah, pelvic and vaginal pain, that's amajor one that shifts and heals completely for
a lot of women through this work.
But also just awakening new pleasure pathways,like, you know, internal vaginal orgasms, so
like a g spot orgasm or a cervical orgasm,which may have felt completely out of reach for
(27:29):
women, starts to become accessible or somethingthat they just naturally find themselves
experiencing after they have communed with ourcervix more deeply and released the different
layers of, like, numbness and pain there aswell.
And then I would also say just, like, morefulfilling intimacy.
It's, like, when you're more connected withyourself, you're aware of what your body's
(27:52):
asking for, you're aware of what a yes and a nofeels like on subtler and subtler levels, like,
that's going to lead you into more fulfillingintimacy with another person as well.
Yeah.
And I can see all that.
Right?
Like, with the shape of it, you have, like, thenatural part that's gonna easily get to your g
zone, but it's it's long enough, and because ofthe way it is shaped, you can get to so many
(28:16):
different parts of our genitals and of ouranatomy.
So it relieves for the ability to be very, say,flexible and open with all the different tissue
that it can actually touch and and improveupon.
And one of the things I wanted to touch on tootoday is in a lot of your wands, you're using
different types of crystals.
(28:37):
You're using different types of gemstones, andI think this is an important thing to talk
about because you in the vibrator world, wetalk about things like, okay, well, silicone
tends to be a pretty safe toy from a standpointof toxins.
Right?
So, you know, from a standpoint of standardvibrators, it's like, well, don't use the
plastic.
We don't want all those toxins in the vagina orin the anus or wherever people are using their
(28:59):
toys.
So we see that oftentimes from a toxinperspective with some of your standard
vibrators.
But I think a less common thing that unless welook in like the jade egg world, which we've
talked about on this podcast before, there'snot the same level, feel like, of conversation
of, hey, using different types of gemstones inour toys.
(29:23):
And so your wands are very, you know, they'revery unique that way.
So what is it about these different gemstonesthat also aids in healing responses?
And why might, you know, women that areinterested in this, why might a woman choose
one particular gemstone to work with versusanother?
Can you tell us a little bit about that?
(29:44):
Yeah.
So just as a starting point when it comes tousing pleasure wands and tools that are made of
crystal, you know, aside from the specificcrystal properties of each, just using an
object that is so beautiful and artfullydesigned, I think creates a a powerful shift to
begin with, you know, as opposed to using,like, something that's made of silicone, maybe
(30:07):
feels a bit more like clinical or medical insome way, using crystal or glass as well tends
to feel quite artful and beautiful.
And that in itself sets the tone for engagingwith ourselves in a more intentional way that's
more self appreciative and and self honoring.
But when it comes to the crystals, so I've gotI've got a few here in the screen, it it really
(30:33):
depends on sort of where the woman is at andwhat she's looking to shift in her physiology
and in her emotional body.
And so as a starting point, we always encouragewomen, like, just notice what you feel most
drawn to.
If there's a certain stone that really seems tocall to you or you find particularly beautiful,
you can just trust that.
(30:55):
However, based on kind of what you're workingwith and where you presently are, we can also
make recommendations.
One of my favorite stones to work with,particularly for a woman who is, like, in
between relationships or perhaps even goingthrough a breakup is clear quartz because of
how it is so clearing of the energetic field.
(31:17):
Like, I've found when I work with clear quartz,there's a way that, like, foreign energies and
and things that I feel like are kind ofclouding my own field in some way just
dissipate and there's an enhanced sense offeeling myself as separate from all of the
other energies in my life.
So for that reason, I might work with clearquartz.
(31:40):
One of the other, like, stronger and reallypopular stones is black obsidian.
It's known for being particularly groundingstones.
So I normally would not recommend blackobsidian for a beginner unless you feel
strongly cold because it is known for bringingmore of, like, trauma and dense emotions and
(32:01):
things to the surface to be processed.
So normally, if you're just starting to dipyour toes into this work, recommend with work
recommend working with such a strong stone justbecause it can be quite intense.
But there is no wrong stone to start with.
And the grounding energy of obsidian also cancontribute with creating a feeling of safety in
(32:22):
the body, and you're starting to work with someof this deeper information in your body.
Rose quartz, super popular again.
This is one of my favorite stones.
I always return to it.
I mean, women are often getting into this workbecause they wanna deepen them their connection
with themselves, deepen self love, selfacceptance, and that's what rose quartz is all
(32:43):
about.
Some I would say that some more gentle stoneand yeah.
A lot of a lot of beginners start off withthose quartz.
And another one of my favorites is amethyst,actually.
There's something with amethyst that's very,like, emotionally soothing, calming, and so for
(33:05):
women that experience a lot of anxiety with,like, even coming into connection with their
body or with sexual intimacy, this can be abeautiful stone to work with.
In that regard, a lot of beginners start offwith those.
I encourage women not to think too too muchabout the properties and really trust, like,
what is your intuition on you towards?
(33:25):
What do you feel most drawn to?
And in my experience, like, I I obviouslybecause I own the company, I have many many
different wands and crystals at this point, andmy experience is that I'll work a particular
stone for some time, and and then I just feelcomplete with it, and I move on to something
else that that calls me more.
Yeah.
So beautiful.
You know, I I really appreciate all forms ofenergy in medicine and and subtle energy, that
(33:51):
we see in these stones, think, is more powerfulthan I think a lot of people give it credit
for.
I like, as you're talking, I'm reminded of ameditation, a visualization I did a while ago
when I had broken up with a partner, and I wasin the bathtub just kind of, like, doing this
cleansing type of meditation.
(34:12):
Right, just try to release my energy from his,and all of a sudden I got this vision of this
huge fire hose up into my yoni and like suckingout my life force.
And so I did this whole, like, you know, thingwith, like, pulling out this fire hose and
releasing, etcetera, etcetera, and, you know,and that felt really good.
(34:33):
I have a girlfriend who had actually, when Iwas telling her this, had a similar type of
experience, but for her, she was, like, alsoreleasing a past lover, and there was, like, a
hook.
She said it was, like, this, like, ginormoushook that was energetically in her cervix.
Obviously, we're talking, you know, energetichooks here for our listeners and not real hooks
or fire hoses, but, you know, the idea of thisand then having that type of that frequency.
(35:00):
Right?
Because I think this is what it is.
It's like we leave that frequency, that imprintbehind, and we see that, you know, these
crystals have their unique properties, theirunique frequencies, their unique subtle
energies.
And so just, you know, thinking through thatprocess, and this was, you know, before I knew
about, you know, the crystal wands out there,but I can imagine how healing, you know, adding
(35:23):
that layer to this type of, practice could bewhen we are oftentimes storing those memories
that don't even have to be necessarily traumaand could be, but oftentimes could be just like
kind of that past, that frequency, that memory,that's that's, that type of, say, energy that
(35:43):
we're really just trying to release from aprevious partner so that we can be more free
and more in our individuality to go into ournext relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And one thing that I do wanna add because noteveryone listening is going to believe in
crystal properties and I Sure.
For some people, it's it's not really withintheir kind of framework of the world.
(36:05):
And so if that's you and you're listening, onething to also know about the crystal wands is a
lot of it comes down to intention.
So it's like, what is the intention that you'reusing the wand for?
How do you wanna connect to yourself in theprocess?
What are you working towards with it?
And and when you're really connected to thatintention, that also enhances the
transformation.
(36:26):
So, yeah, if if you look at a a certaincrystal, you find it beautiful, and then you
learn that its properties are, you know,enhancing self love, enhancing self acceptance.
It's like, maybe in addition to relying on thecrystal properties themselves to do that work,
it's like your intention gets to come into playand you get bring that into your practice.
(36:47):
Yeah.
Beautiful.
I love it.
Well, I think that's about a wrap for today,and everybody, we are going to have links for
you in the show notes about Courtney, about herbusinesses, about how to get these various
wands, courses, etcetera.
So we're gonna put all of that in the shownotes for you guys today.
Courtney, is there anything before we sign offthat you're like, we have to say this before we
(37:10):
go?
I think just just offering an invitation towomen wherever you are in your journey, whether
you're feeling inspired after listening to thisto to dive into, like, the deep work of the
armoring the vagina or exploring slow pleasurepractices, just an invitation to come into more
(37:34):
connection with your pussy in general.
And that can look like simply placing a hand onher and acknowledging her, And, you know, the
journey begins just simply by deciding that youwanna have a relationship with your pelvic
bowl.
Amazing.
Well, thank you so much.
And, yeah, just reminding everybody thatpleasure is your birthright.
(37:56):
Right?
Pleasure is part of how we balance our body.
Pleasure is a gift from God, spirit, universe,whatever you wanna call that energy, and it
really is part of balancing your hormones,balancing your mind, becoming more intimate
with yourself, your partner, and reallybeginning to heal or continuing to heal
(38:17):
yourself in some of the deepest ways while alsohaving a ton of fun.
So thank you everybody for listening to anotherepisode of the lounge.
Again, you'll find Courtney's information inthe show notes, and I will see you again really
soon.
Ciao for now.
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
(38:38):
Please don't keep me a secret.
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
If I reflect all the way back to my teenageyears, there was this drive in me to explore my
own sexuality, my own pleasure, and to feelsexually empowered.
And then coming into my early twenties, Istarted coming across new teachings.
I attended different kind of workshops throughmy travels, kind of alternative ways of
(00:24):
connecting to my body and ended up having a bigawakening where I realized that the way I'd
been pursuing my own sexual empowerment wasactually quite disconnected from myself and my
own body.
And part of that was the discovering and thecreation of products that actually supported
that.
One of the reasons why when women switch fromvibrators to a non vibrating pleasure wand, one
(00:47):
of the reasons why that is such a significantexperience for women is because when we slow
down and actually start to presence them, it'slike, there's actually a lot of information
that wants to be felt and met before our bodycan, authentically open into deeper pleasure.
One of the first practices that I invite womeninto is called I think there's this notion in
(01:07):
the spiritual healing community of, you know,feel it to heal it.
We receive just, you know, endless stories fromwomen who work with the wands for dearmoring
purposes or just to start to experience slowerself pleasure that's more connected to
themselves.
One of my favorite stones to work with,particularly for a woman who is, like, in
between relationships or perhaps even goingthrough a breakup is, one of the other, like,
(01:33):
stronger and really popular stones is
Hey, everybody.
Quick break at our episode to talk to you aboutour sponsor, My Libido Doc.
One of the things that we truly believe is thatgreat sex is available to everyone, but we just
(01:54):
have to learn how.
So head over to our site to get your free copyof our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing
Orgasms and Romance.
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sexlife around, rev up your engines, and fall in
deeper love and passion with yourself and yourpartner.
(02:16):
So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you willfind that e book there for download.
Now back to our show.
Hey, everybody.
I am so excited to introduce you to CourtneyDavis.
We are gonna have a great show, and this showis going to be really targeting women, but also
(02:37):
is gonna be amazing for any male partners intheir lives too because you're gonna learn a
little bit more about how to really please thewoman in your life.
One of the things that we see so often is thatwomen can hold emotions in their vagina and
their cervix and their clitoris and all oftheir lovely, lovely, lovely erogenous zones.
(03:00):
And with this, sometimes sex can be painful.
Sometimes we can dissociate.
Sometimes things can be numb.
And oftentimes, we are not told about this, andwe're not told how to deal with these feelings
and how to process through allowing our bodiesto release these, allowing our bodies to
actually experience the pleasure that we wereborn for.
(03:21):
So this is why I invited Courtney to the showtoday.
She's a sexual wellness entrepreneur, and she'sa pioneer of the slow pleasure movement, which
is amazing.
Right?
Because one of the things I know I hear overand over and over again from women across the
board is that it is too fast, that we need toslow down.
So she's a pioneer of this movement, and she'salso developed a ton of product lines,
(03:46):
including the wands crystal pleasure wand.
And I have one here today.
She's gonna show off a bunch for us as well.
And gonna talk about how this is different thanclassic dildos or vibrators, and what it can
actually help you do to bring more pleasureinto your life.
She has a ton of other cool products like thefree bleed waterproof blankets, helping women
(04:09):
to go through their menses without the use ofuncomfortable and sometimes toxic pads and
tampons, and so much more.
So everybody, I am your host, doctor Diane, thefounder of my libido doc, and I am thrilled you
are here with me today, everybody.
And thank you, Courtney.
I'm thrilled to have you as well.
Thank you, and welcome to the show.
(04:30):
Thank you for having me.
Well, we're gonna talk about all these juicytopics I talked about today.
But before we do that, I wanna hear a littlebit about just you because this is such an
interesting company you own.
Right?
You're making products and really supportingwomen in a in a in a kind of a different way
than a lot of our, like, traditional sex toycompanies are doing.
(04:53):
So how did you get involved in this superunique way of supporting females?
Yeah.
I think, you know, if I if I reflect all theway back to my teenage years, there was this
drive in me to explore my own sexuality, my ownpleasure, and to feel sexually empowered.
(05:15):
And initially, that came with sort of images ofwhat sexual empowerment looked like through the
media and, you know, Samantha Jones, that kindof thing.
And so, you know, initially, it it looked likeusing vibrators, buying my girlfriends all of
their first vibrators, really being like anadvocate for my own right and other women's
right to to pursuing their own pleasure.
(05:37):
And that continued through my teenage years,you know, even embracing like more promiscuous
behavior and feeling a rightness in that inmyself.
And then coming into my early twenties, I Istarted coming across new teachings.
I attended different kind of workshops throughmy travels, kind of alternative ways of
(05:58):
connecting to my body, and ended up having abig awakening where I realized that the way I'd
been kind of pursuing my own sexual empowermentwas actually quite disconnected from myself and
my own body.
So then came in a deeper journey of reallylearning what it meant to feel myself, to honor
myself, and then to experience my sexualityfrom that place.
(06:23):
And part of that was the discovering and thecreation of products that actually supported
that.
So whereas vibrators and more conventional sextoys can be great, you know, I still use them
from time to time.
I found that that was more so, like, this highstimulation, almost like chasing a feeling type
(06:43):
experience.
Whereas with the pleasure wands, the one thatyou held up a couple minutes ago and the other
ones that we offer, it's really about invitingwomen to slow down and connect with more subtle
sensations, connect with where they areemotionally in the moment, and meeting their
body and their deep tissues in a much moreintimate way.
(07:05):
Yeah.
It's it's so wonderful, and I really appreciatewhat you're saying around this, you know, level
of disconnection with this part of ourselves.
What do you think is in and I you know, this istotally opinion.
Right?
Because there's so many different people we seein the world that can help us with, our sexual
history.
(07:25):
But with what you've seen in your work, what doyou think some of the biggest things are that
lead to a woman to be disconnected from her ownbody parts, this, her own female anatomy?
Like, why does this even happen, and how does awoman even know if this is happening to her?
Yeah.
I think a lot of it just stems from, like, ourour lifestyle and society and the pace that we
(07:48):
are living at.
Like, there's just not enough slowing down,presencing, really meeting ourselves where we
are in the moment.
It's a lot of, like, operating from sort of thevision of of where we think we need to get to
as opposed to starting from where we are andthen actually listening to the intelligence of
the body.
Like, what is the body asking for?
(08:08):
Where is the body guiding us?
There's a lot of to the yeah.
Living from the the mental constructs and thepatterns that we, you know, adapted and adopted
to survive in given the conditions that we'reall being brought up in.
So I think, yeah, just basic, like, principlesof how how we've adapted to live.
(08:30):
The society that we're in is a starting point.
And then from there is is, like, we'veinternalized a lot of unhelpful ideas around
sex, and I think that there's a verymasculinized portrayal of female sexuality that
also exists in the media where women, you know,were watching porn or were watching movies and
(08:53):
we're expecting our our bodies to respond in acertain way based on being shown.
And a lot of us aren't even provided the ideathat maybe maybe that's actually not what our
body wants.
And that's not actually what brings pleasure.
That's not what fulfills us.
And that's not to say high stimulation, like,high intensity experiences can't be fulfilling,
(09:17):
but it's more so, like, where is thatexperience arising from?
Is it coming from a pattern and somethingyou've just internalized seeing in in the
outside world, or is it arising from the truelonging of the body?
Yeah.
I think you bring up some really importantpoints, I've, you know, I've noticed in my own
life, like, around this, what we're talkingabout around, oh, there's just so much going on
(09:38):
and, you know, it's so easy to deprioritizepleasure that one of the points I wanted to
bring up is that this whole concept, right, Ithink it's like a it's an evolution of, like,
changing and and relearning it over and overand over again.
So it's like, oh, finally figure out how to,like, slow down and be more present and balance
stress, and then all of a sudden, life kicks usinto our familial patterns, and all of a
(10:02):
sudden, we might feel that disconnection.
And so at least in my own experience, it's likethis kind of this ebb and flow of like
realizing, oh, I'm actually disconnected frommy own body, and here's how to get back into
it.
And for me, one of the biggest triggers Inotice is if I'm disconnected from my own body
(10:23):
and I'm, like, not feeling, you know, thepleasure, I'm not dropping into the sensations,
some of that is just realizing my mind wandersmore, some of it is realizing that I'm, like,
snappier, some of it is just this feeling of,like, ending every day with this sense with
this, statement of, I'm so exhausted, andthat's, like, a big key if I start saying that
(10:44):
a lot, right, to trigger me into saying, what?
You might not be fully in your body right now.
So and I bring this up because then, you know,kind of the follow-up question for you is,
like, how do women and and humans too.
I mean, I think this applies to all humans.
But how do how do we begin to realize, like,okay, we are more disconnected, and we are more
(11:05):
disconnected to our our pleasure centers?
Because I think what can happen sometimes is weget into these habits and we get busy and we
get overwhelmed, we start these new, like,paths, And then all of a sudden, it's like one
month, a quarter, a year goes by, and we'vebeen disconnected from our pleasure center this
whole time and haven't even realized it.
(11:27):
So have you seen anything that helps, like,helps people kinda just realize this?
Like, wow.
I'm disconnected.
I'm not feeling.
I'm not enjoying sensation.
I'm not enjoying pleasure.
And, you know, maybe I'm, like, evencompletely, you know, numb in my genitals and
in my anatomy.
What what are, like, some of the key thingsthat you have found to help women realize this,
oh, yeah.
(11:48):
I need to do some of these practices toactually come home to myself again.
Yeah.
I think, unfortunately, a lot of times, it itinvolves, like, symptoms getting to the point
where women just can't help but start to lookdeeper.
It's like extreme burnout or lack offulfillment in their sex life or vaginal pain,
pelvic pain.
In a lot of cases, is like a more extremesymptom that forces us to look deeper and have
(12:13):
to explore something something else.
You know, when it's a more subtle symptom, likemaybe it's a lack of natural vaginal
lubrication, like you're having trouble gettingnaturally lubricated even though you're only 25
years old.
It's easy to, you know, to think, oh, maybesomething's going like, dismiss it.
(12:34):
Like, maybe something's a little bit off withmy hormones.
Maybe I'm a little bit stressed.
But it's like, as the symptom gets stronger andstronger, we we are faced with having to look
at it and and really uncover the root.
So, yeah, I think I think the the big in yourface symptoms is certainly one of them, and
then there's gonna be people who are aresensitive to a lack of fulfillment at earlier
(12:55):
stages.
Know?
For some people, they'll they'll really feellike, man, I'm not I'm not sexually fulfilled
here, or I'm not I'm not nourished here withwhatever's going on in my life to the extent
that I know I can be, and and so then begins aninvestigation of that.
Yeah.
So and then my follow-up question of that is,okay.
So somebody has gone through this.
(13:17):
They realize that they are, like, disconnected.
And one of the places, and and really allplaces, we can store, I think, trauma and
emotions and memory in all places.
I think the pelvic floor is so interestingbecause in, chiropractic medicine, I'm not a
chiropractor but I'm a naturopathic doctor andwe're trained in some chiropractic medicine.
(13:38):
And in chiropractic medicine, there's this kindof saying of like as above, so below, so what's
happening in the top of the spine and the topof the structure happens, like, really kind of,
like, the opposite, like, like below in thepelvis.
So if we're talking about a problem in thisexample that arises in the jaw, then you will
(13:58):
see that a similar type of pattern actuallyarise in the sacrum and the pelvis area.
And this is like super interesting to memedically speaking when it comes to this
concept of vaginal pain because so many peoplewalk around grinding their teeth, locked jaw,
like, you know, clenching TMJ, it's such aproblem.
(14:21):
And then whatever's going on in the jaw is oneof many things that can actually translate down
to the pelvis.
We wind up with our pelvic floor musclestightening, we wind up with this, like the
cervix and some of the muscles that are goinginto our vagina, that are going into our
clitoris, all of these areas, they almost are,like, locked down just like the jaw can.
(14:43):
And I think this is one of the many reasons whypeople have things like pelvic pain and and,
vaginal issues is because of that stress andeverything you're talking about, and, like,
literally, we carry that in our musculature andin our ligaments.
So one of the things that, you know, has alwaysinterested me about the wands is this idea of
(15:06):
dearmoring, of actually allowing these musclesand these ligaments and these tendons that tend
to not only get tight to make us be in pain,but also store memories, also store stress,
also store all of these emotions.
So can you talk to us a little bit about whatyou've seen?
Have you seen anything, like, specificallyaround the concept of, like, why like what does
(15:29):
it look like for these areas to hold emotion,and what is the process of of dearmoring to
help these muscles actually release, and whathave you seen with that?
Yeah.
So when it comes to dearmoring, like, there canbe this deeper exploration of, like, yeah,
deeper massage, really, like, working with thethe structure of the pelvis.
(15:52):
And Courtney, real fast before you go on, canyou actually take a step back and explain to
everybody what dearmoring means?
Because I think everybody might not know thatterm.
So would you mind starting there?
Yeah.
Thanks.
Yeah.
So dearmoring dearmoring comes from the notionthat our tissue can armor itself as a way of
(16:13):
basically protecting itself or holding emotionor information, unprocessed memories, that kind
of thing.
And so we are particular particularly prone todeveloping armor in our erogenous zones.
And so with dearmoring, it's about workingusually hands on, more like deep physical,
(16:37):
emotional, energetic meeting of the tissue toallow what is stored there to be released, to
move, and so it's no longer being held there.
It's no longer stagnant.
It's no longer contributing to things like painand numbness.
It's dearmoring is is newer in the sense like,you know, if you talk to most medical doctors,
(17:00):
they're not going to they're not going to knowwhat it is or even know to suggest it.
Not a medical term.
But, yeah, more and more women are waking up toit and developing a hands on relationship with
their own tissue and discovering how much isactually held there and creating symptoms that
(17:20):
medically are otherwise hard to explain.
Yeah.
I I love it.
I I look at I love to, you know, just try tofind a scientific reason for everything.
Not that there is one, but as much as possible,it really helps my brain get behind the
understanding of this.
So I I've looked at dearmoring as almost likewhen we do, like, a trigger point massage.
(17:42):
Right?
And one of the things that happens with triggerpoint massage is when we find these areas where
there's maybe these these what am I blanking onmy words?
But essentially where the the fascia and thethe muscles kinda get tangled, almost like
adhesions.
Right?
So when we get these places, say, in ourquadriceps and our biceps, you know, some of
(18:05):
these other areas, we the muscle will notfunction as well, and they hold a lot of
stress.
They hold a lot of trauma, but they basicallyare just uncomfortable.
The muscle's not functioning.
And when we do, like, a trigger point massage,what we're doing is few different things, but
one of the things we're doing is bringing thebrain's awareness of this tissue and what's
going on to help with the healing, and that'ssort of how I've looked at the some of the the
(18:30):
process of the armoring is, like, okay.
What we're doing in a way is similar to anyother muscle in our body in many ways.
Obviously, it's a little more sensitive, andit's a little more erotic and all these other
juicy yummy things, but we're essentiallyallowing these, the muscle muscles and tissues
to like, the neurological system to findthemselves better and the muscles and tissues
(18:51):
to, process better and to move better and tofunction better and and all those things just
like any other muscle.
So so what is the process then as far asdearmoring, as far as getting these muscles to
function and bringing the awareness back andall this sort of thing?
What is the process that you've seen with,like, the wand, and I know you have some wands
(19:12):
there too, that is different than somebody,say, just using a traditional vibrator for
something like this?
Yeah.
So a traditional vibrator or just highstimulation contact like that is generally not
gonna create enough space to really presencewhatever the information is that we're trying
(19:34):
to contact.
Like, one of the reasons why when women switchfrom vibrators to a non vibrating pleasure
wand, one of the reasons why that is such asignificant experience for women is because it
no longer allows them to bypass a bunch ofinformation that's there.
Like, with vibrators, we can just kind of driveourselves with simulation towards that peak
(19:54):
pleasure experience.
Whereas when we're actually slowed down with,like, a pleasure wand contacting ourselves in
the moment, it's like we're meeting much moreof the information that's there, including
Hey, everybody.
Quick break at our episode to talk to you aboutour sponsor, MyLibidoDoc.
One of the things that we truly believe is thatgreat sex is available to everyone, but we just
(20:20):
have to learn how.
So head over to our site to get your free copyof our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing
Orgasms and Romance.
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sexlife around, rev up your engines, and fall in
deeper love and passion with yourself and yourpartner.
(20:42):
So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you willfind that e book there for download.
Now back to our show.
Boundaries including, you know, storedemotions, trauma, things that we may have
experienced but kind of bypassed in the moment,in our past, and then when we slow down and
(21:03):
actually start to presence them, it's like,wow.
There's actually a lot of information thatwants to be felt and met before our body can
authentically open into deeper pleasure.
And so In some ways, it's I'm sorry.
Please continue.
Go ahead.
And so, when, like, for women to begin theprocess of dearmoring, a lot of times, like, it
(21:23):
it's not even about moving towards deepermassage right away.
It's like, can you actually just slow down,like, place a hand on yourself, breathe, and
meet what is here right now, and then we godeeper from there.
And then I'm curious what your process is, andI know, you know, like we talked about you have
(21:44):
courses and all sorts of training materials forfor people, but kind of big picture wise, I'm
curious what your process is if, like, if awoman is interested in trying this because
there can be so many, like you said, there canbe so many emotions, right, and these areas,
especially when we get into, you know, certainparts of our vagina, and for a lot of women,
(22:05):
their cervix, since we hold so many memoriesthere, but also this is a part of the body that
is not touched hardly at all.
And so there can be so much, just stuff there.
Right?
You like you said, emotion stuff to process.
And because of that, it can be a wild processsometimes of like, wow, why is this pain or why
(22:25):
is this numb or why do I touch this place?
And I immediately want to cry and like yousaid, like, get the information and what it's
teaching us, which can be a wide variety ofthings.
So how do you find in your process of goingslow, since I know that's part of your process,
how do you find that women should start withthis in a way that when things come up, it's
(22:47):
going at a pace that their nervous system canhandle and and and those kind of things?
How do how like, walk us through kind of, like,the beginning part of of the pleasure practice.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So in in my coursework and when I start toteach women how to go on this journey for
themselves, we start really gently.
(23:08):
Like, before there's even physical hands ontouch, we are just simply bringing our
awareness to our vagina to the to the pelvicbowl.
One of the first practices that I invite womeninto is just called yoni gazing.
So it's the practice of sitting in front of amirror and meditatively gazing at their vulva
(23:30):
and just being with what arises.
And a lot of times there's, you know, there'sshame, there's all kinds of voices that come up
just through that practice alone.
And so, yeah, we start slowly just by, like,starting to presence our attention on the
vagina and the pelvic bowl, and then reallytitrating.
(23:54):
Like, we're it's not about going in and, like,cleaning up all of the unprocessed information
all at once.
It's like, hey, let's go in.
Let's meet a couple of layers, and then let'stake a break and allow the body and the whole
nervous system to restabilize.
I think there's this notion in the spiritualhealing community of, you know, feel it to heal
it and people wanna feel it all the waythrough.
(24:16):
And at the same time, if if your approach isalways trying to feel more so that you can come
to completion and heal, it's like you're alwaysgonna find more to feel.
So I'm not a huge advocate of like diggingdeeper and deeper and deeper.
More so like, let's go in, feel a couple oflayers come out, stabilize, and then feel when
(24:36):
that next natural wave comes of wanting to godeeper deeper again.
Yeah.
I couldn't really I kinda agree with you morethere.
That resonates with me so much because I havefound sometimes that when we just kinda get in
this process, right, of, like, pushing andpushing and pushing and that alone can be
dissociative.
Like, there's so many things that when there'sso many, like, parts of processing that when
(25:00):
something comes up, allowing the nervous systemto, like you said, stabilize.
And to me, that's, like, almost coming backinto that parasympathetic, that part that is
restful, where it's healing, where the nervoussystem is sending out the signals of safety.
And if we're just pushing, pushing, pushing,pushing, essentially, I think what we're doing
(25:20):
is we're just allowing that stimulative thesympathetic system to be moving so quickly, and
that is, like, where we pop out of our body.
Right?
When it's, like, so much, the body can'tstabilize, you know, using your words, and and
we tend to dissociate more easily and that sortof thing.
(25:40):
So in this sort of practice then, have youseen, like, what have you seen as far as, like,
healing occur with the wand?
Like, have you seen things like pelvic paincompletely disappear?
Have you seen vaginal numbness disappear?
Like, you know, what other amazing kind ofthings have you seen from the use of your wand?
(26:02):
Yeah.
I've seen so much of that, like, justregularly, you know, women having profound
experiences right from oftentimes, like, thevery first experience of holding their wand and
sort of realizing the journey they're about togo on.
It's like, even that in itself is is a big wakeup for a lot of women.
But, yeah, we receive just, you know, endlessstories from women who work with the wands for
(26:24):
dearmoring purposes or just to start toexperience slower self pleasure that's more
connected to themselves.
Pelvic pain, pussy pain, that's a huge one thatwe continuously receive testimonials of people
healing and recovering completely from that,where through using Pleasure Ones and some of
(26:46):
the practices that they teach, it's like suchreconnection and, like, recognition of
boundaries, desires, needs comes into placewhere the pain and the armoring that was there
to sort of protect parts of themselvespreviously just gets to drop away and all new
levels of pleasure and sensitivity can comeonline.
(27:09):
So, yeah, pelvic and vaginal pain, that's amajor one that shifts and heals completely for
a lot of women through this work.
But also just awakening new pleasure pathways,like, you know, internal vaginal orgasms, so
like a g spot orgasm or a cervical orgasm,which may have felt completely out of reach for
(27:29):
women, starts to become accessible or somethingthat they just naturally find themselves
experiencing after they have communed with ourcervix more deeply and released the different
layers of, like, numbness and pain there aswell.
And then I would also say just, like, morefulfilling intimacy.
It's, like, when you're more connected withyourself, you're aware of what your body's
(27:52):
asking for, you're aware of what a yes and a nofeels like on subtler and subtler levels, like,
that's going to lead you into more fulfillingintimacy with another person as well.
Yeah.
And I can see all that.
Right?
Like, with the shape of it, you have, like, thenatural part that's gonna easily get to your g
zone, but it's it's long enough, and because ofthe way it is shaped, you can get to so many
(28:16):
different parts of our genitals and of ouranatomy.
So it relieves for the ability to be very, say,flexible and open with all the different tissue
that it can actually touch and and improveupon.
And one of the things I wanted to touch on tootoday is in a lot of your wands, you're using
different types of crystals.
(28:37):
You're using different types of gemstones, andI think this is an important thing to talk
about because you in the vibrator world, wetalk about things like, okay, well, silicone
tends to be a pretty safe toy from a standpointof toxins.
Right?
So, you know, from a standpoint of standardvibrators, it's like, well, don't use the
plastic.
We don't want all those toxins in the vagina orin the anus or wherever people are using their
(28:59):
toys.
So we see that oftentimes from a toxinperspective with some of your standard
vibrators.
But I think a less common thing that unless welook in like the jade egg world, which we've
talked about on this podcast before, there'snot the same level, feel like, of conversation
of, hey, using different types of gemstones inour toys.
(29:23):
And so your wands are very, you know, they'revery unique that way.
So what is it about these different gemstonesthat also aids in healing responses?
And why might, you know, women that areinterested in this, why might a woman choose
one particular gemstone to work with versusanother?
Can you tell us a little bit about that?
(29:44):
Yeah.
So just as a starting point when it comes tousing pleasure wands and tools that are made of
crystal, you know, aside from the specificcrystal properties of each, just using an
object that is so beautiful and artfullydesigned, I think creates a a powerful shift to
begin with, you know, as opposed to using,like, something that's made of silicone, maybe
(30:07):
feels a bit more like clinical or medical insome way, using crystal or glass as well tends
to feel quite artful and beautiful.
And that in itself sets the tone for engagingwith ourselves in a more intentional way that's
more self appreciative and and self honoring.
But when it comes to the crystals, so I've gotI've got a few here in the screen, it it really
(30:33):
depends on sort of where the woman is at andwhat she's looking to shift in her physiology
and in her emotional body.
And so as a starting point, we always encouragewomen, like, just notice what you feel most
drawn to.
If there's a certain stone that really seems tocall to you or you find particularly beautiful,
you can just trust that.
(30:55):
However, based on kind of what you're workingwith and where you presently are, we can also
make recommendations.
One of my favorite stones to work with,particularly for a woman who is, like, in
between relationships or perhaps even goingthrough a breakup is clear quartz because of
how it is so clearing of the energetic field.
(31:17):
Like, I've found when I work with clear quartz,there's a way that, like, foreign energies and
and things that I feel like are kind ofclouding my own field in some way just
dissipate and there's an enhanced sense offeeling myself as separate from all of the
other energies in my life.
So for that reason, I might work with clearquartz.
(31:40):
One of the other, like, stronger and reallypopular stones is black obsidian.
It's known for being particularly groundingstones.
So I normally would not recommend blackobsidian for a beginner unless you feel
strongly cold because it is known for bringingmore of, like, trauma and dense emotions and
(32:01):
things to the surface to be processed.
So normally, if you're just starting to dipyour toes into this work, recommend with work
recommend working with such a strong stone justbecause it can be quite intense.
But there is no wrong stone to start with.
And the grounding energy of obsidian also cancontribute with creating a feeling of safety in
(32:22):
the body, and you're starting to work with someof this deeper information in your body.
Rose quartz, super popular again.
This is one of my favorite stones.
I always return to it.
I mean, women are often getting into this workbecause they wanna deepen them their connection
with themselves, deepen self love, selfacceptance, and that's what rose quartz is all
(32:43):
about.
Some I would say that some more gentle stoneand yeah.
A lot of a lot of beginners start off withthose quartz.
And another one of my favorites is amethyst,actually.
There's something with amethyst that's very,like, emotionally soothing, calming, and so for
(33:05):
women that experience a lot of anxiety with,like, even coming into connection with their
body or with sexual intimacy, this can be abeautiful stone to work with.
In that regard, a lot of beginners start offwith those.
I encourage women not to think too too muchabout the properties and really trust, like,
what is your intuition on you towards?
(33:25):
What do you feel most drawn to?
And in my experience, like, I I obviouslybecause I own the company, I have many many
different wands and crystals at this point, andmy experience is that I'll work a particular
stone for some time, and and then I just feelcomplete with it, and I move on to something
else that that calls me more.
Yeah.
So beautiful.
You know, I I really appreciate all forms ofenergy in medicine and and subtle energy, that
(33:51):
we see in these stones, think, is more powerfulthan I think a lot of people give it credit
for.
I like, as you're talking, I'm reminded of ameditation, a visualization I did a while ago
when I had broken up with a partner, and I wasin the bathtub just kind of, like, doing this
cleansing type of meditation.
(34:12):
Right, just try to release my energy from his,and all of a sudden I got this vision of this
huge fire hose up into my yoni and like suckingout my life force.
And so I did this whole, like, you know, thingwith, like, pulling out this fire hose and
releasing, etcetera, etcetera, and, you know,and that felt really good.
(34:33):
I have a girlfriend who had actually, when Iwas telling her this, had a similar type of
experience, but for her, she was, like, alsoreleasing a past lover, and there was, like, a
hook.
She said it was, like, this, like, ginormoushook that was energetically in her cervix.
Obviously, we're talking, you know, energetichooks here for our listeners and not real hooks
or fire hoses, but, you know, the idea of thisand then having that type of that frequency.
(35:00):
Right?
Because I think this is what it is.
It's like we leave that frequency, that imprintbehind, and we see that, you know, these
crystals have their unique properties, theirunique frequencies, their unique subtle
energies.
And so just, you know, thinking through thatprocess, and this was, you know, before I knew
about, you know, the crystal wands out there,but I can imagine how healing, you know, adding
(35:23):
that layer to this type of, practice could bewhen we are oftentimes storing those memories
that don't even have to be necessarily traumaand could be, but oftentimes could be just like
kind of that past, that frequency, that memory,that's that's, that type of, say, energy that
(35:43):
we're really just trying to release from aprevious partner so that we can be more free
and more in our individuality to go into ournext relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And one thing that I do wanna add because noteveryone listening is going to believe in
crystal properties and I Sure.
For some people, it's it's not really withintheir kind of framework of the world.
(36:05):
And so if that's you and you're listening, onething to also know about the crystal wands is a
lot of it comes down to intention.
So it's like, what is the intention that you'reusing the wand for?
How do you wanna connect to yourself in theprocess?
What are you working towards with it?
And and when you're really connected to thatintention, that also enhances the
transformation.
(36:26):
So, yeah, if if you look at a a certaincrystal, you find it beautiful, and then you
learn that its properties are, you know,enhancing self love, enhancing self acceptance.
It's like, maybe in addition to relying on thecrystal properties themselves to do that work,
it's like your intention gets to come into playand you get bring that into your practice.
(36:47):
Yeah.
Beautiful.
I love it.
Well, I think that's about a wrap for today,and everybody, we are going to have links for
you in the show notes about Courtney, about herbusinesses, about how to get these various
wands, courses, etcetera.
So we're gonna put all of that in the shownotes for you guys today.
Courtney, is there anything before we sign offthat you're like, we have to say this before we
(37:10):
go?
I think just just offering an invitation towomen wherever you are in your journey, whether
you're feeling inspired after listening to thisto to dive into, like, the deep work of the
armoring the vagina or exploring slow pleasurepractices, just an invitation to come into more
(37:34):
connection with your pussy in general.
And that can look like simply placing a hand onher and acknowledging her, And, you know, the
journey begins just simply by deciding that youwanna have a relationship with your pelvic
bowl.
Amazing.
Well, thank you so much.
And, yeah, just reminding everybody thatpleasure is your birthright.
(37:56):
Right?
Pleasure is part of how we balance our body.
Pleasure is a gift from God, spirit, universe,whatever you wanna call that energy, and it
really is part of balancing your hormones,balancing your mind, becoming more intimate
with yourself, your partner, and reallybeginning to heal or continuing to heal
(38:17):
yourself in some of the deepest ways while alsohaving a ton of fun.
So thank you everybody for listening to anotherepisode of the lounge.
Again, you'll find Courtney's information inthe show notes, and I will see you again really
soon.
Ciao for now.
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
(38:38):
Please don't keep me a secret.
Please share this with your friends.
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, aswell as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.