Dr. Jessica Peck: Raise Holistically Healthy and Resilient Kids (ep. 764)

Dr. Jessica Peck has spent more than two decades as a pediatric nurse practitioner, a professor, and a nationally recognized advocate for children and families. She’s treated teens battling anxiety, depression, and self-harm, helped parents navigate the challenges of raising children in a rapidly changing world, and fought to protect young people from modern-day dangers like cyberbullying and trafficking. But her most important role? A mom of four who has learned firsthand the power of forgiveness, resilience, and hope in parenting.

Today, Dr. Jessica Peck shares how her own struggles with perfectionism and family trauma shaped her journey, why healing isn’t just for you (it impacts generations to come!) and how healthy communication can transform our most important relationships. She also offers practical tools to help parents create safe spaces for tough conversations, set boundaries with love, and guide their kids through life’s biggest challenges with confidence and grace.

My friends, if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the pressures of parenting, this conversation is for you. You’ll walk away with hope, wisdom, and real-life strategies to strengthen your relationships and support the young people in your life.

Episode Transcript

John O'Leary (00:08):
Dr. Jessica p, welcome to Live Inspired with John O'Leary.

Dr. Jessica Peck (00:12):
Thank you so much, John.
I am delighted to be here.
I really am.

John O'Leary (00:17):
Some of these times on these episodes, it's like I'm
meeting someone for the first time.
Sometimes it's, uh, someonewho I've known my entire life.
And then occasionally, like today,it's someone who I don't know
that well, but I view as a friend.
I've read your book, I've listened to yourpodcast, I've listened to your radio show.
I've been interviewed.
On your radio show by you.

(00:37):
And so as I see it across fromyou today, and look into your
eyes, man, I, I see a friend.
So thank you for that.
If you had to introduce yourselfto our audience, and the question
was, Jessica, tell me about you.

Dr. Jessica Peck (00:51):
How

John O'Leary (00:52):
would you even answer that today?

Dr. Jessica Peck (00:54):
You know, that's a hard question.
Really, it is because I feel like I'velived a lot of life in my lifetime,
but I would say I'm a girl from Texas.
I'm a mom of four.
I'm married to a rocket scientist whothinks it's really funny that people think
I'm the smart one in the relationship.
I am a Christ follower.
I am a nurse.
I'm a nurse practitioner, andI'm on a mission to prescribe

(01:16):
hope for healthy families.
That's really me in a nutshell.
Little bit nerd.
Well, that's the kind of thing,

John O'Leary (01:22):
you know, that's the kind of thing where no matter where
we are coming from today or listeningto this conversation, there is room
in that tent for someone to pullup a seat and draw themselves a
little closer to it and towards you.
So I, I'm excited to share.
I. That story with our audience.
Uh, I'm gonna back you up a little bit.
I know you're a native Texan, proud of it.
Would I'm, would you, instead oftalking about the work you do today

(01:44):
and the words that you're writing todayand the hope that you're prescribing
today, talk about the origin story.
Where'd you grow up?

Dr. Jessica Peck (01:52):
You know, it's funny when people look online, you
might see my accomplishments or whatI've been able to accomplish today.
But you're right, John,that is not how I started.
I was a very timid girl.
I was a shy girl.
Grew up here in Houston,the oldest of five.
And if you can imagine, you know,in the eighties, like a pastel
sweater vest and you know, areally obnoxiously ruffled blouse.

(02:14):
And somebody who has had their nose in abook all the time with really thick Coke
bottle glasses, that would be me, my.
Friends, my pejorative in high schoolwas most likely to be a grandmother,
you know, by the time she was 18 becauseI was already studying to do that.
I like to cook, I like to sew.
I was very domestic anduh, I was very timid.
And you know, John, I grew up in a familythat looked perfect on the outside.

(02:36):
Everything looked like it was greatand everybody kind of wanted to.
Be in my family and, but there wasconflict underneath that and I didn't
really understand it, couldn't really putmy finger on it until actually I was in
nursing school, which by the way, I wasthe first woman in my family to go to a
university, so very, very timid nursing.

(02:57):
Student felt like my goal everyday was to stay invisible.
I didn't want anybody to see me becauseI felt like if someone saw me, they
might see what I felt inside, that Ididn't really belong there, that I really
shouldn't be there because I didn'treally have any confidence and didn't
have any resources to go to college.
And for me as a woman, feltlike, well, you could be a
nurse or you could be a teacher.

(03:18):
And there were no teaching degreesat community college at that time.
So I ended up in nursing school and, uh,I, you know, had some success in that.
I got through barely, Imean, I barely passed.
I was working three jobs to put myselfthrough, uh, but met my husband.
He was extremely just graciousand generous, and I had to get a
bachelor's degree to keep my job.

(03:40):
And he said, you know what?
I'll get a master's degree while youget your bachelor's degree and we'll.
Go to school together.
So we did, and I found myselfin a nurse practitioner program.
We were doing this class calledgenomics, and it was right around the
time they were mapping the human genome.
So I'm dating myself here, and youhave to create this map of your
family, and you look at thingslike heart disease and cancer.

(04:01):
But we also were looking holistically atthings like addiction and mental health.
And that was when Irealized it was addiction.
That was the strangling vine thatwas running through my family tree.
And not every generation was affecteddirectly by substance use, but
what I learned was that you haveto learn new ways of relationships.

(04:22):
Those negative patterns ofrelationships are passed.
Down.
That trauma is passed downfrom generation to generation.
Until you confront it, until youstart to learn new ways of relating,
then it's just going to continue.
Those negative, destructivefamily relationships are going to
continue, and that's when I learned.
That trauma is actuallypassed on through our DNA.

(04:45):
If we don't heal from it, it changesthe way our DNA is read and transcribed.
But the hope in that ishealing is also passed on.
And so at that time, John,I was becoming a mother.
I was a pediatric nurse practitioner,and really I was a very fearful mother.
I was very afraid that I was going topass on these negative ways of thinking.

(05:05):
And when I look back at my family,I realize that our biggest fear.
Was fatal injury from social injury, fromfalling off the pedestal we've put ourself
on rather than the real threats thatwe're facing our health and our family.
So I was a very fearful mom and,uh, and started off in that way and
realized here I am advising peopleon how to raise their kids while I

(05:29):
felt like I was failing miserably.
And, and that really went onuntil my oldest was about 13.
And one day we were driving down the road.
In perpetual conflict and she threw abook at my head while I was driving.
I mean, this was, it was intentional.
It was a big deal.
It wasn't just like, oh,let me toss this at you.
There was anger there and John,I pulled over and I did the only

(05:51):
thing I knew to do in that moment.
I just, I prayed and Iasked God to help me.
Have a new mindset and a new skillset, andthat really was a turning point for me.
So for the last almost 15 yearsnow, I've been on a journey to
have a new mindset, a new skillset.
I have found hope for healthyrelationships and healthy families.
Not perfect families,but healthy families.

(06:13):
And now I'm on a mission to sharewhat I've learned with others.
Ooh.

John O'Leary (06:19):
So I'm gonna have to peel back the onion.
You shared an awful lot and there'sso much you did, I think valuable
stuff to draw forward with.
So let's start with this.
You mentioned that you were thisbookworm, that you were actively engaged
in schoolwork, that you had your headdown and your heart moving forward.
You didn't mention this, but I'll say it.
You're, you're beautiful,you're part of this family.

(06:39):
You got four little siblings, yougot the parents, you're in church.
When church is open, you guysare up there on the outside.
Life is awesome and on the insideyou feel completely unworthy and.
Uh, maybe, maybe unlovable,maybe not worth it, maybe
not like you're not enough.
So that, that hole in your heart, asyou look back on your life with greater
clarity, what, what do you think that was?

(07:02):
I.

Dr. Jessica Peck (07:02):
Oh, you, oh, well, wow.
We're just gonna gothere, aren't we, John?
Uh, you're peeling back the onion.
It was, it was a feeling of notbeing enough and really what happens
when you're trying to have, when youhave unhealthy coping mechanisms,
that might be substances, that mightbe, uh, mental health challenges.
It might be any number of things,but my chosen method of coping.

(07:26):
Was to pursue perfectionism,was to pursue achievement.
To pursue performance.
And I felt like if my achievements piledup enough, then maybe I would be enough.
And John, one of the hardestthings about that, I think, is
that perfectionism is extremelydestructive, but it's not only socially
acceptable, it's socially celebrated.

(07:49):
And so, whereas, you know, my siblingswould struggle and I share some of
that in my book with other things,you know, like, like substance abuse.
Uh, my, I wasn't viewed like that at all.
It was, oh, she's coping so well.
Yeah, but I really wasn't.
And when you try to fill that hole inyour heart with, with achievements, it's
just always gonna leave you disappointedand you're never gonna be enough.

John O'Leary (08:13):
Man, there's so much there too.
So you also mentioned that you hada bit of a strange relationship
with your mother in your book.

Dr. Jessica Peck (08:20):
Yes.

John O'Leary (08:21):
Uh, talk about that because so many of us have a strange,
strained and strange relationshipwith a parent, uh, with a child.
50% of us with a sibling.
So as you look back on that and asyou're speaking out to our audience who
are trying to rectify and redeem theirbroken relationships with loved ones,

(08:41):
maybe what, what led to it and what hashelped or could have helped redeem it?

Dr. Jessica Peck (08:46):
Oh, that's a tough one to answer.
And I think you're right, John.
There's really very few peoplewho can't identify with the
pain of a broken relationship.
I, I often encounter people on thestreet or people in the grocery
store line who will share thispain that we've had together.
And I look back on it and it's hardbecause you really to, to really heal.

(09:07):
You have to face the truthof what happened to you.
And a lot of times what happenedto you is not your fault, but your
healing journey is your responsibility.
And I think back to one time in particularwhen my children were young and when
I was dealing with those strainedrelationships, and usually what happens is
you're in a perpetual state of conflict.
I'm sure a lot of your.

(09:27):
Listeners will be able to relate to this.
You know, you're constantly havingthese strained conversations.
There's triangulation, you'retalking to somebody else to try to
resolve the pain, you know, you'rehaving with a, a third party.
And, uh, one day I was having one of thoseconversations on the phone and I was.
Crying.
I was very upset.
And my husband came out, and thiswas before smartphone, so he went

(09:49):
and got our digital camera, whichwas pretty big and obnoxious, and
I was sitting on the recliner andhe came and he took a photo of me.
In that moment, I mean, I was justlike, you know, snot pouring down
my face, like it was not attractive.
And honestly, John, I felt very betrayed.
I was angry and I said,what are you doing?
Why would you do that?

(10:09):
And he was so loving, John, andhe turned that camera around.
I saw that horrible picture ofmyself and he said, honey, this is
what our kids are seeing every day.
They're seeing you mourn overthe life that you'll never have.
While the real life that youcan have is passing you by.
And I realized in that moment I wasgonna have to give up some things.

(10:30):
I was, it was okay to set some healthyboundaries in that relationship.
And you know, one of the thingsthat really helped me was my faith.
And a verse from Psalm 84 11,the Lord God is a son and a
shield, he gives grace and glory.
No good thing does he withholdfrom those who walk up rightly.
And I thought.
This is a good thing.
I want reconciliation.

(10:50):
How can you not give this to me?
And I realized that God sawthat as a good thing in my life.
I needed some space.
And he was a son to light mypath in that healing journey.
He was a shield to protect me fromsome of the relationship patterns
that I needed distance from.
And he, he gave me grace and glory.
And when you look at the, the,uh, origin of that word, glory,

(11:13):
it's dxa, which is comes from dxa.
Doxology, it's the physicalweight of God's presence.
It's like a comfort blanket,

John O'Leary (11:20):
right?
I

Dr. Jessica Peck (11:20):
realize that that was a good thing, and so I
embrace that as part of my journeyand still pray for reconciliation.
I do

John O'Leary (11:29):
thank you for just going there.
I know it's not what you kind of signed upfor when you stepped up into the podcast
today and onto the show, but it's, it'ssomething so many of us deal with, and,
uh, the more we can talk about it, themore we can, first of all, recognize
that we're not alone, and secondly,recognize there's a reason for hope.
You know, you're, you're prescribing hope.
That's the, that's thework ultimately you do.

(11:50):
Uh, and so as we go farther through yourstory, this little girl who struggled and
wrestled with perfectionism finds herselfbeing the very first in her family to go
on to university, which is remarkable.
Uh, tell me about your husband,this, this, this brilliant guy, but
before you fell in love with hismind, you fell in love with the guy.
So what, what was it that you sawin him that you recognized, man,

(12:10):
this guy, this guy's awesome.

Dr. Jessica Peck (12:13):
Well, you know, I actually, before I met my husband,
I tended to uh uh, my type wasan artistic kind of moody type.
And then I meet this hockey player fromJersey, Italian Fiery loves to cook,
which is great, but also brilliant.
He is a real life rocket scientist and.
When I met him, I'lltell you a quick story.

(12:34):
On our first date, you know, he cameand we were set up on a blind date by
a mutual friend, and uh, I went outwith him and we were sitting across
the table and I, all of a sudden Irealized he doesn't have any front teeth.
And I'm thinking.
Did he have front teeth when he pickedme up, like, would I have noticed this?
Like, and I'm having this inner dialogueand I, I finally said, Hey, um, I just

(12:56):
wanna make sure everything's okay.
You know, is, is your mouth okay?
And he goes, oh yeah, myteeth are in my napkin.
You know, hockey player.
That's how it was.
But he is, he is goofy.
He is funny.
He's.
Silly.
He doesn't take himself too seriously.
And you know, John, I think that'swhy God put us together because
here was a girl very serious.
Everything is very serious.

(13:17):
And he was adventurer and he wasfun and he was a doorway to that.
And uh, I know that God put us togetherin that way and he really has showed me.
Unconditional love.
I would be nowhere without him.
Absolutely nowhere without him.
And what we've gotten really goodat in our marriage, we've married

(13:38):
27 years now, um, we've, we arejust two people who have gotten
really good at forgiving each other.
We recognize the baggage that eachof us brings into our marriage,
and I recognize sometimes I can beannoyed with him for being silly in
circumstances I think shouldn't be.
He can be annoyed with me forbeing uptight in circumstances
where I shouldn't be.
We just recognize that about each other.

(14:00):
Have four kids who are crazy inlove with, I mean, we just, we
have a very happy family, John.
When we walk into ourhome, it's a safe place.
And on our first date,that's what we said.
That's what our goal was.
We wanted to have a home where kidsfelt safe and happy and loved where
we felt safe and happy and loved.
And I think we've beenreally successful in that.

John O'Leary (14:21):
We're gonna spend the majority of the remainder of
our time talking about kids andparenting and the world today that
these little ones are moving into.
But, but one more question about USadults listening to our conversation.
You talked about, man, we've becomeso good at forgiving each other,
which does not sound like the key toa healthy marriage, but if you really
unpack it, it absolutely, to me atleast, sounds like the critical one.

(14:45):
So how, how do you do that?
Because the little paper cuts burn.
You know, like everything seems to see,and when you get to the moment, uh, it
all just becomes so serious and weighty.
So how do you day in and dayout, just practice this gift,
this art of forgiveness.
I.

Dr. Jessica Peck (15:02):
You know, we honestly shouldn't have made it.
John, if you look at just what we broughtinto the marriage, what we had both
experienced, he came from an Italianexpressive family who talks with their
hands and conflict is on full stage.
I came from a family who was very,you know, pri, I mean, really the
first time I met his dad, it was ina. And a Christmas tree a lot where
he lost his mind because someone tookthe Christmas tree that he wanted.

(15:25):
But that was just how they are.
You know, they just are very passionate.
And me, I'm like, where isthe passive aggressiveness?
Um, I, we, you know, we talk abouteach other behind each other's back.
How is this going to work?
But, you know, I really think thatwe, we got plugged into a church.
We walked with people who wouldspeak truth in our lives, who
we could go to, and those.

(15:46):
Moments where, uh, you know, one ofmy nightmares is that those fights
will be played out on a screensomewhere and you'll see like we are
real humans with real emotions andwe just learned to love each other.
And there was one time in particularwhere, you know, we were arguing
and, um, I was not at my best.
I was not kind.
And uh, my husband just stopped andhe looked at me and he said, oh.

(16:10):
This is where you're feeling insecure.
And I'm supposed to tell you I loveyou even though you seem so unlovable.
And you know, something in mebroke in that moment, John.
And we just recognizedeach other's weakness.
And you know, another, uh, scripture thatI think about a lot is from Ephesians
four about do not let unwholesome talkcome out of your mouth, but only what
is helpful for building others up.

(16:30):
According to their needs.
So we don't exploiteach other's weaknesses.
We meet each other at that point of needand, and help compensate for each other.
We're a team.
Our kids are so great at sayingthey're sorry, and it's just
really not that hard to say.
I'm so sorry.
Will you please forgive me.
It it, it was hard in the beginning,but it's, it's much easier now.
Yes.

John O'Leary (16:50):
Well, so it, once you get in the habit, it's so liberating and
it's easy to get out of the habit, butwhen you're in the midst of the habit,
when you're doing it right, what a gift.
So I'm, I'm glad most days you're able toopen up and live into that gift with him.
You've got the four kids in tow.
You've also got a pretty heavy workschedule, nurse practitioner, pediatric,

(17:12):
what, what led you into peds and, and why?
Nurse practitioner.

Dr. Jessica Peck (17:16):
Oh goodness, John.
Okay.
What led me into peds?
I wish I could give you aninspiring answer, but I actually
thought I wanted to do geriatrics.
When I started nursing, I'dbeen volunteering at a nursing
home that felt comfortable.
Long story, somewhat short my, onmy first day of clinical, the nurses
gave me an older lady to take care of.
Nursing home, she probablyweighed 75 pounds.

(17:37):
Imagine this tiny little babylady in a, in a bed really
contracture, not, not much mobility.
And I really thought I wouldgive her the best day ever.
And she woke up, we, we met eyes eyecontact, and she started screaming at me.
Obscenities I didn't even knowcould be combined together.
And she wanted me totake out her dentures.

(17:59):
I thought surely anybody could do this.
So I did put on gloves, wentto take out her dentures.
She bit me, did not let go.
Nurses had to get tongue depressorsto pry her jaws open and they
said, what are you doing?
And I said, I'm just tryingto take out her dentures.
I was crying.
And uh, they said shedoesn't have dentures.

(18:20):
And that hateful lady, she startedto laugh and laugh and laugh.
So long story short, Iended up in pediatrics.
I thought that's more my speed.
I love kids, but havingsaid that, I love their

John O'Leary (18:31):
bites aren't as strong.

Dr. Jessica Peck (18:32):
That's right.
Exactly.
Their diapers are smaller, youknow, I mean, just all of these
things, sorry from nursing, but, uh,but I am, so I. Inspired by kids.
They're so much more honest than adults.
They're more resilient than adults.
They're braver than adults.
And so that's how I really got intopediatrics and have done pediatrics
my whole life as a nurse, as anadvanced practice nurse, and now

(18:53):
really as an advocate, I spend mostof my time in policy and education and
advocating for kids who've experiencedtrauma, primarily human trafficking.

John O'Leary (19:01):
Hmm.
One of your taglines isthat you help families raise
holistically healthy children.
Am I getting that right?

Dr. Jessica Peck (19:10):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Talk about that.

John O'Leary (19:12):
Holistically healthy children, how do,
how do we begin to do that?

Dr. Jessica Peck (19:18):
Well, we look at people as people, body, mind, and spirit.
So I care about my kids, I care abouttheir physical health, but I also
care about their emotional health,their mental health, their spiritual
health, their psychological health,all of those planes of health.
The, those are so important.
And sometimes I think, youknow, we can get skewed into

(19:39):
looking at one plane of health.
We look at academic health.
We look at mental health, wewant our kid to be the smartest,
the most, the well-behaved, thestrongest, you know, as an athlete.
But we really have to look at ourkids holistically as a person,
uh, body, mind, and spirit.
And that's really important,

John O'Leary (19:59):
is what I wrote down.
I think it came from your book.
And so I'm gonna give it to you word forword, and then you unpack it with me.
Believe it or not, your kids wantto talk to you about the social and
health challenges they're facing.
And then you ask the question to yourreader and to us, but are you ready?

Dr. Jessica Peck (20:15):
Hmm.
Oh, absolutely.
Are you ready?
Because so often that's one of the mostcommon questions that I get from parents,
John, how do I get my kids to talk to me?
Because there are so many more optionsfor communication, for sharing these days.
You know, when we weregrowing up, there weren't.
Our world.
World was pretty small.

(20:36):
When we grew up in a neighborhood.
We had the school thatwas in our neighborhood.
We may have gone to church ina neighborhood or been involved
in sports in a neighborhood.
And the people that we sawwere the people that we saw.
Maybe you called someone on a phonewith a long curly cord, you know,
that didn't have call waiting oryou know, those kinds of things.
But now kids ha are in a world that's.

(20:58):
Saturated by screens.
They're living at thespeed of a smartphone.
They are on twenty four seven.
They constantly have competingforces saying, Hey, share with me.
Share with a stranger online.
Share in this forum.
Share in this blog share onthis social media platform.
It's just this constant expression,but they don't wanna share with

(21:19):
those people who are closest to them.
A lot of parents think, oh, mykids are hiding things from me,
but I don't believe that's true.
I believe that.
Children really care about whattheir parents think of them, and
it's scary to share those messages.
They don't have an invitation totalk about things because they're
experiencing things that maybe theirparents or their grandparents haven't

(21:40):
opened that door to conversation about.
They don't have the vocabulary or they.
Or the invitation to share.
So I feel like we as adults have to leadwith courage and empathy in initiating
those conversations because in a worldwhere there's so much fear about the
threats that are coming after our kids,I believe that there is no threat, that
can't be navigated successfully throughthe lens of a healthy relationship.

(22:05):
And that starts withhealthy communication.

John O'Leary (22:08):
So I'm in the midst of raising four teenagers.
They're all at this point in time as werecord this inter interview, all four of
them, believe it or not, are teenagers.
I know you've gone through this as well.
I have, and I found that in theseyears of, of raising teenagers
kids, that the best year for me toconnect with them is when they're 15.
And so then the question is why?

(22:29):
And I, looking back and I'drecognize it's because they need
me to help them learn how to drive.
And every single time I, orthey need to go anywhere,
they hop in the driver's seat.
I hop in shotgun, we look straight ahead.
But in this side by side movement.
Uh, maybe it's less threateningor maybe the radio's off, or maybe

(22:50):
there's a million things going on.
But I find that the, these, the threeolder boys just open up, like they become
open books when we're side by side.
So would you talk about inaddition to, yeah, we could
teach these kids how to drive.
That's a great idea.
John.
In addition to that, what are some waysthat we can connect with our young people?

Dr. Jessica Peck (23:08):
Well, first of all, John, I just wanna say congratulations
on having four teenagers at once.
That's wonderful because when Igo through that, a lot of times
people will give me sympathy.
They'll start praying for me on the spot.
They'll say these things like,oh, I'm so glad I'm past that.
And I think I. My kids can hear you.
And I think that we need to speaklife over that stage and really

(23:30):
embrace something that's good.
So I started to have a little lineavailable when people would say something
negative, say something that I loveabout this stage of raising kids.
'cause our kids, even whenthey're not talking to us, they're
listening to everything that wesay their mind is picking up on.
Especially anythingthat we say about them.
And I'm sure, John, you havethe same experience as me.

(23:51):
Your story is.
So inspiring.
You reach millions of people.
I'm sure that doesn't impress your kidsat all, that you're just dad, right?
Right.
They wanna connect with you on that level.
You make a great point aboutthe side by side doing something
together, whether that's walking.
Fishing, uh, playing a video game,maybe if that's your kid's thing, you

(24:11):
know, something side by side without thepressure of, okay, we're going to have a
talk now I want you to tell me everything.
That just doesn't feel as natural.
So stepping into their interest, steppinginto their world, what they like,
even if that's outside your comfortzone, that's a great way to start.

John O'Leary (24:29):
Hmm.
You talk about fostering places where youcan have nonjudgmental conversations with
your kids, like creating these safe zones.
Many of our listeners know exactlywhat kind of child they want to
have, if you know what I mean.
We know how we want them tobehave and what we want them to
do and what we want their socialmedia performance to look like.
And athletic performance will look like.

(24:51):
How?
How do you then createthis space that is safe?
Nonjudgmental for our kids to bring to usthe joys and the struggles of their day.

Dr. Jessica Peck (25:01):
Well, the first thing that you have to do is
release your kids from the pressureof validating your parenting.
We expect this instant gratification.
We have to be honest with ourselves.
When our kids behave the right way, whenthey look the right way, when they say the
right thing, when they present themselvesin public the right way, it gives us this
immediate feedback loop that's reallyuncomfortable to think about that says

(25:24):
you are doing a good job as a parent.
But when our kid is in a seasonof struggle, so often we want
that to be fixed instantly.
We act like we're a virtual assistant.
They come to us and we want them justto give them, give us their problem.
You know, what's your problem?
How can I help you today?
Right?
Oh, well here's your solution.
Just do this.
And, you know, uh, would youtake a survey about my service?

(25:47):
That's not how it works.
And so we've got to startby creating a safe space.
The best way to do that,John, is by listening.
You know, I, when I spoke with one,I think one particular time when I
spoke with a group of young people,I asked them, I gave them each a
post-it note and said, what areyou afraid to ask your parents for?
And you know, I couldn't imaginewhat they were going to say.

(26:10):
It was shocking to me these Post-Itnotes that filled the wall that said,
listen, they really want us to listen.
We lead with lecturing.
We try to lecture our way toleverage behavioral change.
We try to argue our wayinto right relationship.
We just want to tell them because weknow how to fix their problem, but
we've got to start this safe space.

(26:31):
By listening and John, we'vegot to listen with our faces.
That's what our kids want.
We live in a world of distraction whereour faces are so many other places,
but our kids need us to listen withour face with a neutral body language
and just listen to where they areso we can meet them where they are.

John O'Leary (26:52):
Some of our listeners, and maybe even the one asking the question is
guilty of not always being there for that.
Of being hyper driven, having your,your face in a million things, running
a million miles an hour, and alreadyknowing the answer to their question
before they're done asking it.
And, and, and so help me, help us slowdown to pour the foundation, to rebuild

(27:14):
that relationship and to make sure weconnect with our young people where they
are, not where we are, but where they are.
How do you, how do youdo that practically?

Dr. Jessica Peck (27:22):
First of all, you gotta give yourself grace and space to
be human in this journey and realizethat you may have been doing the best
that you could with what you know.
But then when we know more, we do better.
And it's never too late to start over.
It's never too late.
And so I'm guilty of this too.
I mean, just look behind me, look at allof the, you know, things that indicate all

(27:43):
that I'm doing in nursing in the world.
So I, I think that that isa really hard thing to do.
So just being intentional aboutlistening with your face, there's some
small, practical ways that I can sharethat I've done that in my own life.
So, for example, I'm driving with mykids and they start to tell me something.
If it's a place where I can pull overinto a parking lot safely, I'm gonna

(28:04):
pull over and say, hold that thought.
I wanna give you my face.
This sounds important.
Let me give you my face.
We've got to think about being present,having those physical spaces around us.
So I work from home andmy office is really busy.
So one another practical thing that I'vedone is put a chair beside my office.
My kids know they can come andsit in that chair at any time.

(28:25):
For any reason to talk to, not talk, to dotheir homework, but it's a physical space
that I'm inviting them to be present.
We've got to think about being presentphysically, mentally, emotionally,
but if you just start by listeningwith your face, put your phone down.
I'll say really quickly, John.
One of the phenomenon that'sbeing studied in pediatrics

(28:47):
right now is a phenomenon called.
Fabbing, that's P-H-U-B-B-I-N-G,bone snubbing, where we prefer
our phone to, to interactionwith the people who are with us.
Yeah.
And we know that when we make eyecontact with someone for at least 20
seconds, their brain releases oxytocin.
They feel bonded to us.
That's a built-in biologicaladvantage that you can have.

(29:09):
Make eye contact, put your phone downand listen with a neutral expression.
If you can start there,you've done 90% of the work.

John O'Leary (29:16):
Well, one of the hints you gave me in your book was
this, I think it's a quote from you.
We have a love haterelationship with social media.
We love our social media,we hate our children's.
So unpack that quote for me.
I think it's a, I think it'sa brilliant quote actually.
I.

Dr. Jessica Peck (29:31):
Well, thank you.
That means a lot coming from you, John.
Thank you so much because I, it's so true.
We are so judgmental as a society,as parents, as grandparents,
about our kids' phone use.
Get your face out of your phone.
You're just on your phone.
Get off your phone.
Get off your phone.
Get off your phone.
And yet you go to any kid's sports game.
You go to a school event.

(29:52):
You go to get your oil changedand what are you going to see?
The tops of adults' heads withtheir faces in their phone, but we
justify ours pretty sanctimoniously.
Oh, it's, I'm, I'm doing work.
Oh, I am, you know, I'm, I'm just talkingto your grandmother, or whatever it
is, you know, that we justify, but ourkids don't see the difference in that.

(30:13):
And you can open social media and seeall kinds of reels where they imitate us.
Ignoring them.
Like POV, you ask your mom aquestion and this is how it goes.
And so we have got, usually if yousee something in your child that's
really annoying and you think, uh, thatbehavioral trait, that personality trait,

(30:34):
they're usually getting it from us.
And it annoys us becauseit annoys us and ourself.
So we've really gotta gethonest about our own phone use.

John O'Leary (30:44):
All right, well, let's get honest less about
ours and more about theirs now.
How, how do we create appropriatebarriers and set the right path so our,
our kids, whether they're 11 or 19 oreven older, are successful with the
technology that is not going anywhere?
I.

Dr. Jessica Peck (31:00):
Oh, you're absolutely right John.
It is here to stay and I thinkthat we need to not focus
on being the phone police.
There's so much about limitations.
Let's get the phones out of school.
Let's limit screen time.
Let's use technology to, youknow, monitor it and, and there's
something to be said for that.
Those can be helpful tools, butI think the answer is actually

(31:20):
a lot more simple than that.
We need to providecompelling alternatives.
That's it.
They're on their phonesbecause they're bored.
They don't have any engagement.
They want engagement with us.
And what I found is that when I providea compelling alternative, they wanna
spend time with me and they'll do that.
So it's go on a walk, it's play a game.

(31:41):
It's, Hey, let's go havefun with as a family.
It's, Hey, if you're playing a videogame, I'll sit down and play it with you.
You're playing basketball, John.
I am.
Horrible at basketball, but I'llstill go out there and try, you
know, I'll still, uh, try to do that.
But I think that, you know, justproviding a compelling alternative,
that's the way to do it and modeling it.

(32:02):
Healthy ourselves, healthy use ourselves.

John O'Leary (32:05):
So, so as a nurse practitioner, these young people
are coming into your office.
Mom and dad sometimes are, youknow, invited to leave the room, the
door shuts, and now it's you and ateenager, you and a young person.
What, what kind of stuff are you hearingtoday that you may not have been hearing?
You know, you've been doing this work20, 25 years, 3, 5, 10 years ago.
What's, what's changing in our kids?

Dr. Jessica Peck (32:27):
You know, I look back, I've been in pediatrics
for almost 30 years now.
I. And I just almostdon't even recognize it.
When I started in pediatrics, you know,my, my roles would be like in March
I would set up a tent on the cornerof our, of the lawn of our clinic
because March was chicken pox season.
And parents would drive by and theywould open the door and I would say,
yes, that's chicken pox, or No it's not.

(32:48):
'cause we don't want youcoming in the clinic.
Obviously, you know, the world hasdefinitely changed and we see kids facing
threats that we just didn't see before.
So in my book, behind Closed Doors, I talkabout the top 12 things that I'm seeing.
Mental health, uh, a lot of risk takingbehaviors that happening on social media,
because a lot of times parents willthink when their kids make a mistake,

(33:11):
especially on their phone or socialmedia, they think it's a moral failure.
Like, oh, you, you, you.
Rejected the values that I've taughtyou, but we know that kids, their
brain development, they don't reallyget that abstract concept of values
to drive to their decision making tilltheir late teens and early twenties.
Most of the time it's just impulsivity.
I. Where their thumb moves faster thanthe prefrontal cortex in their brain.

(33:35):
It's a failure of decision making,and we put this weapon, a smartphone
in the hands of kids who are notdevelopmentally prepared to use it.
They have underdevelopedcharacter to handle the over
exposure that comes with a phone.
And so most of the time I see kidswho have experienced some sort of
harm related to smartphone use.

(33:56):
They're worried about it, butthey haven't talked about it.
So their body starts to process thatpsychological trauma that they've had.
And it comes out as a bellyache,it comes out as joint pain.
It comes out as, I'm not sleepingwell, and the parents come in
'cause they're worried about theirblood sugar or do they have cancer,
diabetes, or something like that.
And it's usually justed trauma.

(34:17):
And that's what I'm uncovering.

John O'Leary (34:21):
So help us process that unprocessed trauma.
Help us de weaponize these supercomputersthat every kid has in their pocket, under
their desk, in their backpack, at thesoccer practice, and in the bedroom that,
you know, these phones are attached totheir hands, like a bracelet to a wrist.
So help us, first of all, better leadthem, but probably if we do that,

(34:44):
probably lead ourselves as well.

Dr. Jessica Peck (34:47):
Well, you're right, and especially in the bedroom.
In their bedroom, you know, I seeparents who are really worried about
their kids getting fentanyl, theirkids being kidnapped by a trafficker
of these things that are not as likelyto happen, but we're really kind
of apathetic about the thousands ofstrangers that our kids invite into
their bedroom, into their most private,intimate space on a nightly basis.

(35:09):
Through their social media.
And I think because we didn't grow upwith social media, John and phones,
we just kind of don't understand it.
So there's this uneasy truceand we think let's just kind
of hope everything goes okay.
Right?
Not to take a proactive approach.
So first of all, I would say don't beafraid to be that parent that has limits.

(35:30):
I was that parent.
So one of the rules I had was whenkids came over, they had a phone.
I had a phone check-in station.
Everybody checked in their phonebecause the playing field is uneven.
Some have a phone, some don't.
Some have social media, some don't.
Some have rules, some don't.
They could access it there, but itwasn't going into my kids' rooms.
And you had to be that parent.

(35:50):
You know, where they lookat me like, are you serious?
Yes, I'm serious.
And I get negotiated to thiswith my kids in advance.
They knew the rule andthey were on board with it.
They came on board with it.
And one of the stories I tell inmy book, John, is, is uh, when my
daughter wanted social media as aprofessor, you know, bless her heart,
she's a daughter of a professor.
I assigned her a paper to write and shewrote the paper and at the end of the

(36:13):
paper, she wrote all about the risks.
To the benefits.
What she would do, she wrote at the endof the paper, after doing this research,
I realize I'm not ready for a phone andI, and I will decline it at this time.
It was one of my proudestparenting moments ever.
But, you know, most humbling.
So first of all, don't be afraidto be that parent to have limits.
To just say no.
The second thing is engaging inrelationship, knowing what's going

(36:37):
on in their life, saying, you canalways talk to me about anything.
Having rhythms where you're havingpoints of connection all the time.
They have that openinvitation to talk to you.
If you can do those things, set healthylimits in the context of a relationship
where you're routinely connecting,that is going to go a really long way.

John O'Leary (36:59):
One of the other quotes I wrote down, and I, you know, I
have a list of about 40 in frontof me, but here comes the next one.
We won't have time for all of them,but this one I think should move us
to really sit up and, and take notes.
Today's teens are feeling more isolated,more anxious, more depressed than
any previous generation, and they'restruggling with more complex challenges.

(37:21):
So if that, first of all, is that true?
And then secondly, what do we do about it?
It

Dr. Jessica Peck (37:27):
is absolutely true.
The things that they are processing andthink about are so much more complex.
Like I said, the world is a lot bigger.
All of the bad news that happens in theworld is delivered to them in an instant,
and then if they click on one videobecause they're curious, all of a sudden
the algorithm that social media platformsare employing psychologists to keep them.

(37:49):
On that platform.
That's their sole job.
That's not a fair fight.
Then all of a sudden their worldviewis changing and that way that they're
seeing the world is coming through thelens of what they're seeing on a screen.
So yes, it's absolutely true.
Yes, it's true.
We have a crisis of mental health.
Yes, it's is true.
We have a crisis of, of suicide.
I see that almost everyday in my practice.

(38:11):
Yes, it's true.
We have an epidemic of loneliness.
But we know a lot about resilience, John,and I think if you wanna know a case
study in resilience, that would be you.
And seeing hope and resilience from anunbelievable tragedy and going on to find
hope and health in that, we know thatthe number one predictor of resilience is

(38:31):
meaningful connection through a healthyrelationship to adult in their life.
And no matter if your kid's atoddler, a teen, or grown up.
We have the amazing privilege as parentsto choose for that person to be us, to be
that safe space in an unsafe world, andthat's where we're going to find hope.

John O'Leary (38:51):
I have a friend who is a college professor, uh, her classroom,
well, I won't give any more specificsother than to say that almost everybody,
she, she can't point to one person inthis classroom who does not acknowledge
that they're dealing with anxiety.
With depression, they're, she can'tacknowledge one person in the room who
isn't already speaking with a counselor.

(39:12):
And so my question is, it's kindof a both, and one is what has
led to such a severe degree of ouryoung people feeling, feeling like
they're just not a college kid.
It.
That didn't mean I didn'thave issues in college.
I had major issues, man,that's my roommates.
But for us at that time, it was like, eh,just, it was kind of part of the journey

(39:35):
and now it's become this chronic driverthat is really stealing people's hope.
And as someone who prescribeshope, that's your job.
What has led to so many youngpeople feeling so much despair
and anxiety, and then what isthe prescription to alleviate it?

Dr. Jessica Peck (39:52):
It's so hard to narrow it down, but I do think that
there are some specific factorsthat are contributing to this.
One is living at thespeed of a smartphone.
The world is on twenty four seven.
Before, if you had a bully at school, youmaybe had the summer where you could get
away from them and you didn't see them.
Now we have these cyber environments.

(40:12):
That are 24 7.
There's constantly thefear of going viral.
Their lives are videotaped every second.
I think of a girl named Lily.
Her story was widely shared in the news.
She was just a young girl on a train.
She had a condition calledneurofibromatosis where she had
little tumors all over her body.
It was at the stage when EmpoXers, at that time it was called

(40:33):
Monkeypox, was, was in the newsand some, A stranger filmed her and
changed her life with two emojis.
Put a monkey face and a questionmark, basically asking the world, does
this girl have monkeypox on a train?
And is she a danger to us?
Well, it went viral everywhere.
Millions of people sawit, her sister saw it.
This is the world our kids are livingin where they're afraid of that.

(40:56):
I think of another youth event whereI, I said, what do you see on social
media that your parents don't know?
You see?
And again, they did the post-it notesand one word John, it was perfection.
Hmm.
They feel like this is a curatedsocial media world where there's
constant comparison, whichwe know is the thief of joy.
And they may post something on aviral trend and they get, you know,

(41:19):
their friend gets 4,000 likes andthey get two and they think that's
wrong with me that I can do this.
So all of these things, I thinkit's a crisis of worldview.
And when what's.
Celebrated today is canceled tomorrow.
One little word that they say couldchange the trajectory of their life.
It's no wonder they're livingin a world of fear and anxiety.

(41:40):
Now, on the other side of the coin,you said both, and we also live
in a world that's talking moreabout mental health struggles.
We saw this happen with Simone Bilesafter she withdrew from the Olympics,
where some people called her a hero.
Some people called her atraitor to her country.
These are the words that were used.
I reject both of those characterizations.
I think she's a human who had emotions,and we also can't medicalize every

(42:05):
feeling of anxiety or depressionor those emotions that are just on
the normal spectrum of emotions.
So how do we change this?
Well, for me, as a person of faith,I believe that standing, for me,
standing on the timeless truths ofGod's word, something that never.
Ever changes something that is thesame yesterday, today, and forever.

(42:26):
Those truths that don't change, havingmeaningful connection to people and your
life who are not perfect but are pursuinghealthy relationships with you, having
those connections, having those meaningfulin-person relationships that are so
rich, that's where we've gotta start.

John O'Leary (42:47):
Another step that you would take in addition to those aspects
is this idea of intentional gratitude.
Why should a teenager or someoneeven younger than a teenager or those
listening to our conversation today atany age, choose intentional gratitude?

Dr. Jessica Peck (43:02):
I. Gratitude is so powerful.
I call it vitamin G. I got that fromone of my other nurse friends because
it has such tremendous health benefits.
And before I say anything about gratitude,I'll say that's one thing that I do
in my show, the Dr. Nurse Mama Show.
I have my professor Brain,my hands-on nursing.
Experience in my heart as a mom tohelp people cultivate healthy habits.

(43:23):
We have 52 healthy habits for healthyfamilies, and it's just in these little
rhythms, John and these little habits.
People today want an instant fix.
They want something magic, you know?
They want something, a life hack that'sgoing to fix their relationships, but
it's really in these everyday disciplines.
And one of those is intentional gratitude.

(43:45):
So we know that science shows.
People who are intentionally gratefuland whatever that is, and whether that's
talking about it, your family justgoing around saying one thing, you're
grateful for having a gratitude jar,a gratitude journal, having expressing
gratitude in your prayers, playing amusic that helps you to be thankful,
stopping and counting your blessings.

(44:05):
We know that it lowers their risk ofheart disease, of stroke, of cancer.
They're happier, they'reless likely to take risks.
Risky behaviors.
I mean, the list goes on and on and on.
And, you know, I think about, uh,as another scripture, you know,
you, I, I, a lot of scripture isintegrated into where I find hope.
But I think about Philippiansbe anxious for nothing, but in

(44:29):
everything by prayer and supplication.
With Thanksgiving, present yourrequest to God and the peace of God.
Will guard your heart andyour mind in Christ Jesus.
And that's where I think, okay, this isnot just guarding your heart as in your,
oh, your, your heart, your feelings.
It's your literal blood vesselsthat gratitude is protecting.

(44:51):
And so just adopting, again, that's onething that could be very transformational.

John O'Leary (44:57):
What is one thing you did as we get ready to wrap this conversation
with what we call the live inspiredseven, but what is one thing you did
with your kids that, uh, you realize,looking back on it, man, we took a
misstep that way, but then what is thebest decision you made raising these
four young people to become people of,of influence, people of impact, people
of gratitude, uh, people of faithfulnessand servant service to others.

(45:21):
So what was a misstep youtook with your little ones?
Because I think that's gonnahelp us connect with you.
Uh, you know, the woman had abook thrown at her head when
your 13-year-old was behind you.
I think these stories actually connect.
And then give us the final bitof advice on what that thing
is you did with your kids.
That man, I. Yeah, we would do that again.

Dr. Jessica Peck (45:41):
Well, let's bring it full circle here, John.
So I could tell you a thousandmistakes, and I'm sure my kids would
love to line up at the microphone.
They're lined up

John O'Leary (45:49):
at the door, they're in the chair right now, next to you, ready to,
to bark out the mistakes mom and dad made.
I look forward to that.

Dr. Jessica Peck (45:55):
My mom fails, you know, and they'll, and they'll
troll me about it, and I love it.
I love that they will call me out on that.
But I think, you know, one of thebiggest mistakes that I made was
just having a fear-based approach.
So afraid of the.
Threats that could come to them thatI tried to control their behavior
because that was the way that I couldmake myself feel better as a mom.

(46:16):
I could feel like I was on theright track, and I cared more about
what they did than how they felt.
I cared more about theiraction than I cared about the
heart of what was going on.
And I look at this and I feel like Iwould generalize a behavioral struggle.
Into a character flaw.
And John, it, it breaks myheart to say that I did this.

(46:37):
I would speak words of shame over them.
I would say things like, why do youalways, why do you never, why can't you
ever, why do you, you know, when youstart speaking words like that, instead of
saying something like, you're a great kid.
Who's just struggling with this onething, and I have the confidence
that you will overcome it.

(46:57):
And parenting is for the long game, John.
Planting and harvesting don'thappen in the same season.
And I remember the first time Iwas able to go to Hawaii, I saw
a pineapple field and it was justred dirt, like nothing out there.
It was not pretty at all, and Ilearned that it takes about two
years for a pineapple to grow,yet I see workers out there.

(47:19):
Are taking care of it becausethey know they planted that seed.
They know a pineapple will grow.
And that was convicting to me because Ithought, I've got to have that confidence.
My kids need to see that in myeyes, I believe in you because
that, that's what they really need.
And so looking at that, that.
Full circle moment.
You know, that book that was thrown atmy head became a book about that story.

(47:42):
And I'll, I'll, I'll closeJohn by telling you a story, a
recent story about my oldest.
So when she went off to college, you know,we had come so far and I felt some of
those fears start to come back and, anduh, I went, I was in town and I wanted
to visit her 'cause I, I work at thecollege where she goes to school and, but
I was trying to be, you know, the new momthat I was and I said, Hey, I'm in town.

(48:04):
If you have time to see me, I'd love to.
See you, but if not,you know I understand.
And she said, no, I don'thave time to see you.
I thought, okay, I'm goingto be okay with this.
So I pull into a parking lot to go getjust some fast food to drive through.
And I see my beautiful, preciousdaughter in the parking lot and
she's standing there with herfriends and my first thought is, I.

(48:24):
Oh, you said you didn't have time tosee me, and yet here you are, just
standing in the parking lot justtalking with your friends, you know?
But I thought, Nope, I'm,I'm, I'm gonna be the new mom.
And so I waited until she made eye contactwith me and I kind of smiled and waved.
She turned her back on me.
John totally turned herback on me, ignored me.
So I did what any rational mom would do.

(48:46):
I started texting her furiously,I cannot believe you did that.
And she said, did what?
And I said, you just ignored me.
She said, I didn't even see you.
And I thought, oh, great.
Now you're lying.
This is what happenswhen you go to college.
See, you know, this is terrible.
We got into a terrible fight.
It was awful.
And she came home that weekend,actually, for fall break.
Happened to take her tothe eye, doctor John.

(49:08):
So humiliating.
The eye doctor came out and said.
She, her vision has gotten a lot worse.
She can't see 10 feetin front of her face.
I don't know how she's been functioning.
Hmm.
And that's when I realized, Iprojected my fears onto her and how
she saw that she really didn't see me.
And I had also left herat college without a car.
And so she had gotten a ride toactually a, a church group, and they

(49:31):
decided to stop on the way home.
Well, she didn't wanna do anything toupset the apple cart to upset her ride.
I just realized I projected thatonto her, so she forgave me.
And I forgave her, andwe acknowledge that.
And so that, I think that's justa, an example of where we are now.
We don't have a perfect relationship,but we have a healthy one.
Mm-hmm.
And that's what I wanna give parentshope for, and families hope for that.

(49:52):
Hey, your, your family's not gonnabe perfect, but you can be healthy
and you can find hope in that.

John O'Leary (49:59):
Dr. Jessica Peck, it has been an honor having you on our
show, we have seven questions thatwe guide all of our guests through.
And so we're gonna startwith question number one.
What's been the most impactfulbook you've ever read?

Dr. Jessica Peck (50:10):
The Bible, hands down, found no greater words of
hope or healing than the Bible.

John O'Leary (50:16):
There's a fair amount of books within that larger book.
Is there one for our listeners whomay never have read any of it, where
you might encourage them to go first?

Dr. Jessica Peck (50:24):
A great place to start is the book of John is The Story
of Jesus, and it's got so much hope foryou because I feel like in a world I.
You know where there is so little hope.
I wanna ha find hope thatGod has a plan for me.
He loves me.
He knows me.
He sent his son for me.
And that's really hope, hopeful to me.
And the other book that I love,of course is Psalms and Proverbs.
I, I love just, Psalms are songsand music is a big part of my life.

(50:48):
And Proverbs is a book of wisdom, whichI need on a daily, if not hourly basis.

John O'Leary (50:54):
What's one positive characteristic?
One beautiful trait you possessedas a little girl growing up in the
heart of Texas that you wish youexhibited as brilliantly today.

Dr. Jessica Peck (51:03):
That I wish I exhibited as brilliantly today.
You know, I feel like, I feel likeI was optimistic as a little girl.
I really did have, I have hope forthe world, and sometimes I feel
like that pessimism, even thoughit probably seems like I don't feel
that way, I struggle with pessimism.
I struggle with thinking, Ugh,what is the state of the world?

(51:24):
And so I wish that I could beas hopeful as that little girl,
and I'm still trying to do that.

John O'Leary (51:31):
If you're home caught fire.
Your rocket scientisthusband is out hockey player.
He's brought his teeth with him.
The kids are out safely, the animals areout safely, and you have an opportunity
of running back into that house andgrabbing one item that matters to you.
What's that one physicalthing you would grab?

Dr. Jessica Peck (51:47):
Well, I hope you won't disallow this, that
I have two answers for the samequestion, but it would be my Bible.
I gave myself a Bible when I was 16.
I've had that same bible since thenand, and when I look through the pages
of it, I can see so many points in myjourney where I put the date on there.
Certain scripture that I was praying,a certain struggle that I was
having, and seeing the ways thatGod has been faithful to me, that

(52:09):
is something that I, I wouldn't,uh, that I wouldn't give up ever.

John O'Leary (52:13):
If you could sit on a bench on a gorgeous day and
have a long conversation withanyone living or deceased, who
would you like to be next to?

Dr. Jessica Peck (52:21):
My granny, for sure.
That is my grandmother.
My grandmother is such a, uh,she, she went to heaven about,
uh, almost two years ago.
Uh, but I lived with herduring nursing school.
She's.
Such a tremendous woman of faith,such a woman of grit and grace.
I absolutely loved her.
She's the kind of woman who, if youwalk into her bathroom on the bathroom

(52:42):
counter, she was gonna have her guidepostdevotional open to the right day
with her tithing check as a bookmark.
Just always a lady who was.
Serving other people who would wear,uh, pearls no matter if she was
wearing a church dress or a sweatsuit.
And just funny, she was really funny,knew how to tell it like it was.
She was just, I, I would bewith her all day, every day.

John O'Leary (53:07):
What's the best advice granny or anyone else ever gave you?
So the best adviceyou've ever received is.

Dr. Jessica Peck (53:13):
The best advice I've ever received and I I'll, it's so hard to
categorize that into one thing, but sincewe've talked about parenting, I'll think
about that and that's one thing that mygranny gave me is to embrace every stage.
Don't mourn the past, don't.
Fixate on the on the future, but reallylive in the present and don't make

(53:35):
your kids feel guilty for growing upbecause that's what they're supposed
to do, but really live in the present.
And that's something my husbandhas been very good about.
He's always, he tells meall the time, Carpe diem.
Carpe diem.
'cause I always think I will, I tend tofixate on the past and think, oh well this
happened and how is this affecting thisor in the future, but it's carpe diem.

(53:55):
Just embrace the stage that you'rein, just, it's not about the
destination, it's about the journey.

John O'Leary (54:01):
If you could go back in time, just a couple years to when you
were 20 and whisper a little bit ofwisdom her way, what would you say?

Dr. Jessica Peck (54:08):
Oh, I, I look back at that girl and I would just tell her to
hold on that the best is yet to come.
Not to lose hope, not to bediscouraged, not to give up.
When I would go to her, when she'slooking for change in the cushions of
her car to get enough gas money to go to.
School and when she's lookingto see, did I pass pediatrics?

(54:31):
Oh my goodness.
Barely.
Barely.
You did.
I would tell her Rose

John O'Leary (54:34):
anatomy, yes.

Dr. Jessica Peck (54:35):
On honey.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Better things are yet to come.

John O'Leary (54:39):
Dr. Jessica Peck.
It has been said that all greatpeople can have their lives
summed up in one sentence, howwould you like yours to read?

Dr. Jessica Peck (54:47):
I, I hope that that people would say
that she was a faithful woman.
You'll find her singing in heavenone day, and that she prescribed
hope for healthy Families.

John O'Leary (55:00):
Well, Jessica, thank you for being a faithful,
fun, loving, joyous individual.
Thank you for prescribingHope into a Marketplace.
Longing forward, and thankyou for partying with us on
the Live Inspired podcast.
It's been awesome.

Dr. Jessica Peck (55:13):
Well, thank you so much for that.
I, I, I hope that thatis absolutely the truth.
And, you know, I look and I find, I,I have to say before we leave that I
find the best hope in just my children.
They're my greatest legacy, honestly.
They're the reason thatI get up in the morning.
They're the reason thatI find hope in the world.
They're the reason that I findthe courage to keep on going.
Anything that I've done, I hope thatI have made a better legacy for them.

(55:38):
They will have a better legacy fortheir family, and that we know that,
that hope and that healing will bepassed on for generations to come.

John O'Leary (55:46):
My friends, that is the voice and the wisdom of Jessica Peck.
She is the author of thebook Behind Closed Doors.
You can learn more about her byvisiting us right now at john
O'Leary inspires.com/podcast.
We'll have a link to Jessica's websiteand uh, her podcast and her books.
Jessica, thank youagain for being with us.

Dr. Jessica Peck (56:07):
Thank you so much, John.
Thank you for all that youdo to serve your listeners.
Thank you for your inspiring test.