December 2, 2024 • 24 mins
The holiday season is here, but are you really taking time off? In this episode of The Long-Distance Worklife, Wayne and Marisa dive into the importance of using your PTO, setting boundaries with work, and creating intentional plans to recharge during the holidays. Learn strategies for resisting the urge to check work emails, protecting your time, and collaborating with your team to ensure everyone gets the break they deserve. Plus, discover why unplugging is vital for your mental health and productivity.
Whether you're struggling with holiday guilt, a recovering workaholic, or simply unsure how to navigate PTO as a remote worker, this episode has actionable advice to help you thrive.
Key Takeaways
1. Plan Your PTO Today: If you have unused PTO, schedule it now. Use it to rest, recharge, and reflect on your accomplishments.
2. Set Boundaries: Silence notifications, turn off work alerts, and resist the urge to check your inbox during time off.
3. Be Intentional: Create small plans that bring you joy, whether it’s reading a book, enjoying coffee dates, or scheduling social activities.
4. Communicate with Your Team: Plan ahead with colleagues to ensure adequate coverage during holiday breaks. Use tools like Slack or email scheduling to respect others' time off.
5. Unplug Guilt-Free: Remember, taking PTO isn’t just a perk—it’s essential for maintaining work-life balance and long-term productivity.
Timestamps
00:00 Introduction
01:00 Why Americans struggle with taking PTO
03:15 The benefits of PTO for work-life balance
05:00 Personal stories of managing time off and holiday stress
08:00 Small joys: Planning activities for your time off
12:00 Tips for disconnecting from work during PTO
14:30 The power of scheduling and protecting boundaries
18:12 Strategies for ensuring adequate team coverage during holidays
22:00 Final thoughts: Why you need to take your PTO now!
Related Episodes
Additional Resources
- Learn more about Wayne Turmel
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The holidayseason is supposed to be a time
for joy and connection,but for many remote workers,
it feels more like juggling act of work,emails and holiday plans.
Sound familiar?
If taking time off without sneaking a peekat your inbox feels like an impossible
dream, you're in the right place.
(00:22):
Welcome back to Long Distance
Worklife, where we help you lead, workand thrive in remote and hybrid teams.
I'm Russell.I can marry a fellow remote worker.
And joining me as always, is co-hostand remote work expert Wayne Travel.
Hi, Lynn.
Hey, Marissa. How are you?
I'm great.
It's the holiday season and lights are upand things are happening.
(00:42):
And you know, it's it's just great.
But obviously we have to also startthinking about taking time off.
And so
there's I mean,we got to talk about setting boundaries
and disconnectingand actually enjoying our holiday season.
What a concept.
Yeah it's it is an interesting thing.
(01:04):
And if you have trouble setting boundaries
this is the time of yearwhen it becomes an Olympic sport.
Oh, great.
If you have no trouble setting boundaries.
God love you.
Enjoy the turkey and party down.
But it is tough.
(01:25):
And we're not even talking aboutall the family stuff that goes on it.
Actually, this speaks to.
And I'm speaking to my since I am nowa citizen, my American brothers
and sisters.
Who are notorious
for not taking their time off.
The average American lives 10
(01:48):
to 14 hours of personal time in there.
Use it or lose it at count.
And that means they lose it every year.
We are awful about that.
Europeans are like,these people are morons.
I can't help.
But it is important
(02:09):
that, you know, I more than once
have been taken aside and said,I don't care what you have planned.
You need to take this time off.
And so there you go.
And a lot of people are in that position.
I find it's easier
(02:29):
for me to take days throughout the yearsso that there is less of a chunk
of unstructured timebecause Wayne basically loses his mind.
You know, if I don't plan to go anywhereand I it's just my wife and I.
So I am left to my own devices.
Right.
You know. Yeah.
(02:50):
You know, let's see I transcribed back.
You know what.
It'll probably actually do pretty well.
But it's, it's interesting toothat you're talking about this because
like I actually got a newsletterthis morning that was talking about,
you know, taking PTO and,and why you should.
And here's the things you can do.
But they had this line
and I wanted to remember itfor this episode, but it says, remember
(03:12):
that paid time offis more than just a perk of your job.
It's a vital part of maintainingyour work life balance.
And oh, by the way, it's the law.
They have to give it to you.
So stop feeling guilty.
Well, that do.
Seriously, I don't care
about your perfect attendance record.
(03:34):
You know, it is your time.
You are being paid for it.
Take advantage of it.
And to Marissa's point.
It does allow us
to recharge our batteries,and we need to do that.
Right? So.
You know, it's funny this time of
year. This time of year.
(03:54):
I I'm just going to get personalfor a moment.
That's fine.
The end of the year is really hard for me.
I tend not to celebratethe end of the year.
I tend to go in a fetal position andobsess about all the ways that screwed up.
Oh, no.
I mean, basically, I hate New Year's Eve.
(04:15):
I love New Year's Day.
Okay, here's day.
I've got a start. I've got a fresh start.
New year's Eve is just a giant convention
of all my neuroseshanging out inside my head.
And, oh, by the way,let's fuel that with alcohol.
You know.
Sure. So.
(04:36):
Woo hoo!
So I have learned.
And that's why I'm sharing this with you.
I have learned that
while staying busy over the holidayskeeps me somewhat sane,
I tend to balance it out so I will
with discussion with my manager.
(04:58):
I will work part days.
I will work a couple of days and then take
each day off during this time.
It's also a really good chancefor me to be a good teammate
and cover for people who are,
you know, stressed for time.
Right?
Well, and it's interesting too,that you talk about, you know,
(05:19):
you prefer to take days over the yearand all that.
I, I am somebody my very first year here.
And for those of you
that have been listening for a while,this will surprise no one.
I didn't take a single day offthe first year that I worked for getting.
That was just me as a person.
I just, while I'm here,I got to take the day, you know?
So unless you're hopingfor a. Certificate on the wall.
(05:40):
Because the thing is, I.
What I wasn't, it was just in my head.
I'm like, well, I'm supposedto go to work, so I'm going to go.
Or, like,I didn't have any reason not to go.
And yeah.
And like, Kevin pulled me asideand was like, hey, so take your day.
And, you know,because I, I don't really travel
(06:01):
at this current time in my life andI don't really do a lot of extra stuff.
So for the most part,I don't really have a reason
to just take a random Thursday offbecause, you know, to your point,
like I just sit at home,I go, well, I could have been working,
but the last couple of years I do takea chunk of time at the end of the year.
Because, you know, I host Christmas Eveand I'm trying to bake cookies with my mom
(06:25):
and so there's all this stuff that happensat the very end of the year anyway,
and it's just like all of that stuff comestogether and it's like, you know what?
Okay.
And so the last I think two year, 2or 3 years now, I've just taken
the last two weeks of the year offand it's just been that's it.
I'm I'm out of the officeand it's weirdly been the best thing
(06:46):
for meto do to get myself reset for January.
Yeah. Not everybody can go.
100%. Without a break.
And so, you know, if you want to grow upand be like, Marissa, God love you.
Not everybody functions that way.
And so it's really important.
(07:07):
What if you struggle with that?
If you struggle that what am I going to doexcept obsess about work?
Make a plan for that day.
Yeah.
Even if it is.
I mean, I have said I am stepping out.
I live in Las Vegas, so I can do this.
I am going to spend a couple hourson the deck
with a book, me and the hummingbirdsand maybe a cigar.
(07:31):
I actually plan for thatand I leave and it's it
a I got to check something off my list.
I sat right back and I watchedthe hummingbird and I had a cigar.
And it's all good.
Check check check check.
But plan little.
What makes you happy?
What is a treat for yourself?
(07:53):
And it doesn't have to be huge.
It really doesn't.
But little things that make you happy.
Is there a bookyou've been wanting to read?
Is there a movieyou've been wanting to see?
Is there
you know, my wife and I have coffee
dates and we get out of the house,
which is the function,because Wayne is in the house all week.
(08:16):
Right?
We get out of the house,we have a cup of coffee.
We chat about stuff.
But we make it an event.
And I think that's the thing is.
Well, what am I going to do with this timeanyway?
Get used to being good to yourself,
and it doesn't have to be big,and it doesn't have to be expensive,
(08:39):
and it doesn't have to be anythingthat any body else cares about.
100%.
I mean, I'm not going to lie.
Parker and I have.
So Parker's my husband.
For those of you listeners that haven'theard me mention that name before,
but like there has been once or twice,but we took a day off of work. Why?
(09:00):
Because again,
we were really excited about came outand we were going to play it together.
Absolutely.
Little things make us happy.
And if you are alone at this time,
plan for things that get
you involved with other humans.
(09:23):
Yeah, the social part is so important.
It is.
It's really easy for thisto be hard for people.
My daughter is in Chicago.
She's alone.
She struggles with seasonal stuff.
Anyway.
She has to.
Yesterday she went to the,
(09:44):
sing along with it at.
Okay. By herself,
her and
half of Chicago, from the sounds of it.
Just singing popularat the top of her lungs
for two hours, and it made her happy.
Thank you.
You know, I definitely want to seethat movie, but I'm waiting for the
(10:05):
no singalong version for a bit,because I've actually never seen it.
But that's what she hasseen the stage play nine times.
Well, there you go.
So she is a little of
right, but this
but this is the thingis that we need to guard our time.
If you are working during this season.
(10:29):
Don't begrudge
the people who are taking their time.
Plan with themwhat's available, what's really do.
What can you do to help them?
What can they do
before they disappear to help youso that you are not left stranded?
Right.
And these conversations take place
(10:50):
kind of organicallywhen we're all in the office together.
But when we work remotely and I.
If there's a drinking game for this show,
the words we. So
and intentional are probably the ones
that will put you over the line.
(11:12):
But intentionality is so important.
It's funny, we're talking about takingtime off and recharging your batteries,
but you need to be intentional about that.
You can't just assumethat it's going to happen or assume
that everybody understandsor does that the same way that you did.
(11:32):
Switching gears a little bit.
Talking about intentionality and,
and you know,when we are taking that time, but like
how do we also intentionally protect
that time by, you know, resisting the urge
to check work messages and slackmessages and emails and all that?
I know I struggled with thatfor a very long time.
(11:53):
I have some tipsI'll get into in a minute,
but do you have some tips on that?
Yeah, for me it's really simple.
It's just kill the alert.
It's a simple. Yep. Setting.
I mean, for me,
it's enough that I kill the auditory workbecause I'm like Pavlov's dog.
I hear a ping.
I need to check it. Right? Right.
I can pick up my phone and seethere are eight messages in outlook.
(12:17):
Well, I ain't working right now, so.
But I also have 60 years of
practice that allowed me to get there.
But kill the alerts.
Silence the notifications.
It's easy to do, and you'd be amazedat what a difference it makes.
(12:38):
I've had my email this off
for years and it's so helpful.
And if you are obsessive,just pick a time.
I mean, okay.
I'm an early morning riser.
My wife is asleep.
I'm supposed to be on vacation.
I'm supposed to be whatever.
I will sneak a peek of my emailsjust to see if there's a burning fire.
(13:01):
But once it's done, I'm done.
I can relax.
I have hit the little valve on my brainthat vents that stuff.
And I can now relaxbecause I know there's nothing there
that requires my immediate attention.
For a lot of us.
It's the anticipation of,oh, my God, there's something in my inbox.
(13:22):
I know there is.
So, you know, hitting the little ventand letting the steam escape
is actually betterthan just trying to ignore it.
Stick your finger in here and gola la la la la I'm not listening. You.
Well funny enough that is what I do
is that I, I have all the do not disturb,but I know me.
(13:42):
I know that for me,I am a recovering workaholic.
And if I first of all,I get a bunch of emails
just telling me that the websiteshave updated constantly.
And so those happen anyway.
But I know thatif I go in to look at stuff
and if I see something that's a taskmy brain
(14:04):
isn't going to be,oh, that can wait until Monday.
It's, well, I can do that right now.
I'm already home. Like,I'll just go do it.
I know meand so I won't look at it at all.
So if if you are like me,
like, that's okay too.
Whatever you need to doto protect yourself and your time.
(14:24):
I know that one of our coworkers usedto frequently tell me we are not surgeons.
These are not life and death situations.
And if it is, they will pick up the phone.
Yeah, it's.
We've been doing this show a long time.
We have given you lots of advice.
Readers, listeners.
I still I'm an analog guy.
(14:45):
Dear listener,we have given you a bunch of stuff.
Some of it is going to ring true.
Some of it is going to seem weird.
Probablywe should have offered this disclaimer
when we began doing this show,which is your mileage may vary, right?
We are all human beingswith our own individual styles.
(15:05):
For me,
quick bursts of ventingand then being allowed
to possiblygo about my day works for other people.
It doesn't.
As long as it doesn't go downthe rabbit hole, as long as you
it doesn't interfere with your pleasure,with your relaxation.
(15:26):
I know that being worried about stuff
is counterintuitive to time off.
Yeah.
Defeats the purpose.
Get used to it is my advice.
Small dosesgradually building up resistance.
And that is the answer.
(15:48):
But we all
do stuff differently,and there are generalities.
We need time off.
We need to recharge our batteries.
We need to set boundarieswith the people we work with
and for so that our life, work
life does not overrun our personal life
(16:10):
and steal our joy.
And yes, this is grumpy old white guytalking about joy.
You are allowed to have it.
Let the record state
at 1127 at 2 p.m., Wayne said.
Let there be joy.
(16:30):
And it were.
And let there be joy.
Darn it, it's the holidays.
Well, and to your point about,
you know, respecting each other'sboundaries and things like that.
So, you know,if I know that Wayne is out for a week
and I might still be workingand I have something that I need
to talk to him about or whatever,maybe I don't send that email right now.
(16:51):
We have slack schedulers.
I'm sure Microsoft Teamshas some sort of scheduling thing.
I know outlook does.
You know, if you need to get the emailout of your head.
So that way you don't forget.
Great.
Do it.
Schedule it for when they come backbecause it's
it's just not important right now.
And if it is pick up the phone.
(17:14):
And your desire to get it off
your plate does not mean you get to messwith somebody else.
Absolutely.
And while it will.
Things scheduling emails,
you know, these little
behavioral niceties.
(17:35):
Build up.
You know we've talked beforeabout the trust bank account
and how every time you havea good interaction with somebody it builds
positive will and positive willso that when inevitably something
unhappy happensyou don't drain that account.
Right.
And these little thingsmake all the difference.
(17:57):
You know, you've heard me say before.
My favorite quote from Napoleon.
If you want to avoid war,you avoid the thousand little pinpricks
that lead to war.
Little things like this matter.
So one of the last things I want to cover
before we end this episode is, you know,what are some strategies
(18:18):
that teams can implementto, like, ensure adequate coverage
when team members are taking time off,especially like, you know,
we're going into the holiday season, lotsand lots of people are taking time off.
And in some cases you're workingwith skeleton crews and things like that.
So what can teams kind of planfor ahead of time
to accommodate?
(18:40):
I can't remember the last timeanybody listening to this
heard me say, have a meeting,but this would be one. Yes.
Right.
Prior to probably mid-November,
as a team, look at
what is remaining that needs to be donefor the rest of the year.
(19:03):
That is time sensitive, right?
That isn't just more of the same,but what are the unique
demands of the end of the year?
There are reports that need to be done.
There are all kinds of end of the yearactivities that get added on to,
oh yeah, we're trying to run a businessand sell some stuff.
Crazy.
(19:23):
So as a team, identify what those are
and then talk about who's
going to be a way during that time.
You know, people have use it or lose ittime.
You know, so-and-so can't shut upabout their upcoming trip to Hawaii.
We know they're not going to be here,but somebody else
(19:44):
has a bunch of use it or lose it time,and there's no real occasion.
So we didn't know thatthey're going to be gone.
Have these conversations and
maybe have a slack channelor something like that.
That's just for holiday coverage.
Hey I'm around.
Hey I'm going to be aroundbut I'm going to be out for two days.
(20:09):
Something came up.
I'm not in the rest of the day. Right.
Keep each other apprizedso that there are fewer uncomfortable.
Recognitions. Yeah.
Sudden recognitions.
Right? Well,and in your out of office emails, too.
You can also say, you know,hey, if you have questions about this
talk to this.
I know every time I do an out of office,especially if I'm the only one
(20:32):
taking time off.
Like it depends on what it is.
You know,
if they're talking about long distancework life, I tell them to go to you.
If they're talking about Remarkable
Leadership podcast, they go to Lisa like,I have a list.
Here's all the people that you needto talk to because I'm not here.
Here's the other thingwith a couple of very obvious
exceptions, because you are the tech guruthat the rest of us aren't.
(20:55):
Stuff gets done.
The company is still standingwhen you come back on January,
whatever the heck it is. Yeah,
the building will still be there.
You will still have a job.
Your boss is still going to expect youto get back to work.
And the world has not come to a halt.
(21:16):
Right.
If you are that vital
to the preservationand maintenance of the business,
you are underpaidand your boss is doing it wrong.
And probably have no ideaanything about delegation either.
Depending onwhere you're at in the hierarchy.
But that's something that we needto get used to, to this notion
(21:40):
that if I take my holidays,the bill, you know, the company will fail.
No it won't. Yeah.
Well, it's like we said earlier, that man,that's a life or death situation.
Yeah.
It's like, take your time.
It's right across.
Do it.
(22:01):
So I guess the lesson for this episode,listeners
is that if you aren't taking your PTO,please take it.
If you know that you have days
that you haven't spent this year, andespecially if it's a use it or lose it.
Figure out when you're going to take off.Like right now.
Like stop the show. Go do it.
We will forgive you for not listeningto the rest of this episode.
(22:23):
But, Wayne, I want to thank you so much
for this last live episode of the year.
This last onethat we're going to be recording.
So for those of you that are listening,you'll hear about two weeks of replays
before we get new shows up in January.
But before we go, we're excited to share
that the second edition of The LongDistance Leader is now available.
(22:44):
This updated guide is packedwith actionable strategies to help
you lead effectivelyin today's remote and hybrid environments.
Don't wait.
Order your copy at longdistance work life.com/ldl.
Take your leadershipskills to the next level in 2025.
And because the holidays are
in full swing, we do want to wish youa joyful and restful season.
(23:05):
Take these moments to recharge.
Use your PTO.
Connect with your loved ones and reflecton the wins that you've had this year
because you've earned it.
And thank you so much for listeningto The Longest Worklife for Shownotes
transcripts and other resources.
Make sure to visitLong Distance worklife.com.
And if you enjoyed this episode,
don't forget to subscribeso you never miss a future one.
(23:26):
And while you're at it, leave us a ratingor review on Apple or Spotify.
It's quick, and it helps us reacheven more listeners like you.
And we'd also love to hear from you.
So reach out to us via email or LinkedInwith the links in our show notes
and let us know that you listen to
this episode, or suggest a topic for Wayneand I to tackle in the New Year.
Thank you so muchfor being part of our community.
We hope you have a wonderful holidayseason.
(23:48):
And as Wayne likes to say,don't let the weakness get you down.
The holidayseason is supposed to be a time
for joy and connection,but for many remote workers,
it feels more like juggling act of work,emails and holiday plans.
Sound familiar?
If taking time off without sneaking a peekat your inbox feels like an impossible
dream, you're in the right place.
(00:22):
Welcome back to Long Distance
Worklife, where we help you lead, workand thrive in remote and hybrid teams.
I'm Russell.I can marry a fellow remote worker.
And joining me as always, is co-hostand remote work expert Wayne Travel.
Hi, Lynn.
Hey, Marissa. How are you?
I'm great.
It's the holiday season and lights are upand things are happening.
(00:42):
And you know, it's it's just great.
But obviously we have to also startthinking about taking time off.
And so
there's I mean,we got to talk about setting boundaries
and disconnectingand actually enjoying our holiday season.
What a concept.
Yeah it's it is an interesting thing.
(01:04):
And if you have trouble setting boundaries
this is the time of yearwhen it becomes an Olympic sport.
Oh, great.
If you have no trouble setting boundaries.
God love you.
Enjoy the turkey and party down.
But it is tough.
(01:25):
And we're not even talking aboutall the family stuff that goes on it.
Actually, this speaks to.
And I'm speaking to my since I am nowa citizen, my American brothers
and sisters.
Who are notorious
for not taking their time off.
The average American lives 10
(01:48):
to 14 hours of personal time in there.
Use it or lose it at count.
And that means they lose it every year.
We are awful about that.
Europeans are like,these people are morons.
I can't help.
But it is important
(02:09):
that, you know, I more than once
have been taken aside and said,I don't care what you have planned.
You need to take this time off.
And so there you go.
And a lot of people are in that position.
I find it's easier
(02:29):
for me to take days throughout the yearsso that there is less of a chunk
of unstructured timebecause Wayne basically loses his mind.
You know, if I don't plan to go anywhereand I it's just my wife and I.
So I am left to my own devices.
Right.
You know. Yeah.
(02:50):
You know, let's see I transcribed back.
You know what.
It'll probably actually do pretty well.
But it's, it's interesting toothat you're talking about this because
like I actually got a newsletterthis morning that was talking about,
you know, taking PTO and,and why you should.
And here's the things you can do.
But they had this line
and I wanted to remember itfor this episode, but it says, remember
(03:12):
that paid time offis more than just a perk of your job.
It's a vital part of maintainingyour work life balance.
And oh, by the way, it's the law.
They have to give it to you.
So stop feeling guilty.
Well, that do.
Seriously, I don't care
about your perfect attendance record.
(03:34):
You know, it is your time.
You are being paid for it.
Take advantage of it.
And to Marissa's point.
It does allow us
to recharge our batteries,and we need to do that.
Right? So.
You know, it's funny this time of
year. This time of year.
(03:54):
I I'm just going to get personalfor a moment.
That's fine.
The end of the year is really hard for me.
I tend not to celebratethe end of the year.
I tend to go in a fetal position andobsess about all the ways that screwed up.
Oh, no.
I mean, basically, I hate New Year's Eve.
(04:15):
I love New Year's Day.
Okay, here's day.
I've got a start. I've got a fresh start.
New year's Eve is just a giant convention
of all my neuroseshanging out inside my head.
And, oh, by the way,let's fuel that with alcohol.
You know.
Sure. So.
(04:36):
Woo hoo!
So I have learned.
And that's why I'm sharing this with you.
I have learned that
while staying busy over the holidayskeeps me somewhat sane,
I tend to balance it out so I will
with discussion with my manager.
(04:58):
I will work part days.
I will work a couple of days and then take
each day off during this time.
It's also a really good chancefor me to be a good teammate
and cover for people who are,
you know, stressed for time.
Right?
Well, and it's interesting too,that you talk about, you know,
(05:19):
you prefer to take days over the yearand all that.
I, I am somebody my very first year here.
And for those of you
that have been listening for a while,this will surprise no one.
I didn't take a single day offthe first year that I worked for getting.
That was just me as a person.
I just, while I'm here,I got to take the day, you know?
So unless you're hopingfor a. Certificate on the wall.
(05:40):
Because the thing is, I.
What I wasn't, it was just in my head.
I'm like, well, I'm supposedto go to work, so I'm going to go.
Or, like,I didn't have any reason not to go.
And yeah.
And like, Kevin pulled me asideand was like, hey, so take your day.
And, you know,because I, I don't really travel
(06:01):
at this current time in my life andI don't really do a lot of extra stuff.
So for the most part,I don't really have a reason
to just take a random Thursday offbecause, you know, to your point,
like I just sit at home,I go, well, I could have been working,
but the last couple of years I do takea chunk of time at the end of the year.
Because, you know, I host Christmas Eveand I'm trying to bake cookies with my mom
(06:25):
and so there's all this stuff that happensat the very end of the year anyway,
and it's just like all of that stuff comestogether and it's like, you know what?
Okay.
And so the last I think two year, 2or 3 years now, I've just taken
the last two weeks of the year offand it's just been that's it.
I'm I'm out of the officeand it's weirdly been the best thing
(06:46):
for meto do to get myself reset for January.
Yeah. Not everybody can go.
100%. Without a break.
And so, you know, if you want to grow upand be like, Marissa, God love you.
Not everybody functions that way.
And so it's really important.
(07:07):
What if you struggle with that?
If you struggle that what am I going to doexcept obsess about work?
Make a plan for that day.
Yeah.
Even if it is.
I mean, I have said I am stepping out.
I live in Las Vegas, so I can do this.
I am going to spend a couple hourson the deck
with a book, me and the hummingbirdsand maybe a cigar.
(07:31):
I actually plan for thatand I leave and it's it
a I got to check something off my list.
I sat right back and I watchedthe hummingbird and I had a cigar.
And it's all good.
Check check check check.
But plan little.
What makes you happy?
What is a treat for yourself?
(07:53):
And it doesn't have to be huge.
It really doesn't.
But little things that make you happy.
Is there a bookyou've been wanting to read?
Is there a movieyou've been wanting to see?
Is there
you know, my wife and I have coffee
dates and we get out of the house,
which is the function,because Wayne is in the house all week.
(08:16):
Right?
We get out of the house,we have a cup of coffee.
We chat about stuff.
But we make it an event.
And I think that's the thing is.
Well, what am I going to do with this timeanyway?
Get used to being good to yourself,
and it doesn't have to be big,and it doesn't have to be expensive,
(08:39):
and it doesn't have to be anythingthat any body else cares about.
100%.
I mean, I'm not going to lie.
Parker and I have.
So Parker's my husband.
For those of you listeners that haven'theard me mention that name before,
but like there has been once or twice,but we took a day off of work. Why?
(09:00):
Because again,
we were really excited about came outand we were going to play it together.
Absolutely.
Little things make us happy.
And if you are alone at this time,
plan for things that get
you involved with other humans.
(09:23):
Yeah, the social part is so important.
It is.
It's really easy for thisto be hard for people.
My daughter is in Chicago.
She's alone.
She struggles with seasonal stuff.
Anyway.
She has to.
Yesterday she went to the,
(09:44):
sing along with it at.
Okay. By herself,
her and
half of Chicago, from the sounds of it.
Just singing popularat the top of her lungs
for two hours, and it made her happy.
Thank you.
You know, I definitely want to seethat movie, but I'm waiting for the
(10:05):
no singalong version for a bit,because I've actually never seen it.
But that's what she hasseen the stage play nine times.
Well, there you go.
So she is a little of
right, but this
but this is the thingis that we need to guard our time.
If you are working during this season.
(10:29):
Don't begrudge
the people who are taking their time.
Plan with themwhat's available, what's really do.
What can you do to help them?
What can they do
before they disappear to help youso that you are not left stranded?
Right.
And these conversations take place
(10:50):
kind of organicallywhen we're all in the office together.
But when we work remotely and I.
If there's a drinking game for this show,
the words we. So
and intentional are probably the ones
that will put you over the line.
(11:12):
But intentionality is so important.
It's funny, we're talking about takingtime off and recharging your batteries,
but you need to be intentional about that.
You can't just assumethat it's going to happen or assume
that everybody understandsor does that the same way that you did.
(11:32):
Switching gears a little bit.
Talking about intentionality and,
and you know,when we are taking that time, but like
how do we also intentionally protect
that time by, you know, resisting the urge
to check work messages and slackmessages and emails and all that?
I know I struggled with thatfor a very long time.
(11:53):
I have some tipsI'll get into in a minute,
but do you have some tips on that?
Yeah, for me it's really simple.
It's just kill the alert.
It's a simple. Yep. Setting.
I mean, for me,
it's enough that I kill the auditory workbecause I'm like Pavlov's dog.
I hear a ping.
I need to check it. Right? Right.
I can pick up my phone and seethere are eight messages in outlook.
(12:17):
Well, I ain't working right now, so.
But I also have 60 years of
practice that allowed me to get there.
But kill the alerts.
Silence the notifications.
It's easy to do, and you'd be amazedat what a difference it makes.
(12:38):
I've had my email this off
for years and it's so helpful.
And if you are obsessive,just pick a time.
I mean, okay.
I'm an early morning riser.
My wife is asleep.
I'm supposed to be on vacation.
I'm supposed to be whatever.
I will sneak a peek of my emailsjust to see if there's a burning fire.
(13:01):
But once it's done, I'm done.
I can relax.
I have hit the little valve on my brainthat vents that stuff.
And I can now relaxbecause I know there's nothing there
that requires my immediate attention.
For a lot of us.
It's the anticipation of,oh, my God, there's something in my inbox.
(13:22):
I know there is.
So, you know, hitting the little ventand letting the steam escape
is actually betterthan just trying to ignore it.
Stick your finger in here and gola la la la la I'm not listening. You.
Well funny enough that is what I do
is that I, I have all the do not disturb,but I know me.
(13:42):
I know that for me,I am a recovering workaholic.
And if I first of all,I get a bunch of emails
just telling me that the websiteshave updated constantly.
And so those happen anyway.
But I know thatif I go in to look at stuff
and if I see something that's a taskmy brain
(14:04):
isn't going to be,oh, that can wait until Monday.
It's, well, I can do that right now.
I'm already home. Like,I'll just go do it.
I know meand so I won't look at it at all.
So if if you are like me,
like, that's okay too.
Whatever you need to doto protect yourself and your time.
(14:24):
I know that one of our coworkers usedto frequently tell me we are not surgeons.
These are not life and death situations.
And if it is, they will pick up the phone.
Yeah, it's.
We've been doing this show a long time.
We have given you lots of advice.
Readers, listeners.
I still I'm an analog guy.
(14:45):
Dear listener,we have given you a bunch of stuff.
Some of it is going to ring true.
Some of it is going to seem weird.
Probablywe should have offered this disclaimer
when we began doing this show,which is your mileage may vary, right?
We are all human beingswith our own individual styles.
(15:05):
For me,
quick bursts of ventingand then being allowed
to possiblygo about my day works for other people.
It doesn't.
As long as it doesn't go downthe rabbit hole, as long as you
it doesn't interfere with your pleasure,with your relaxation.
(15:26):
I know that being worried about stuff
is counterintuitive to time off.
Yeah.
Defeats the purpose.
Get used to it is my advice.
Small dosesgradually building up resistance.
And that is the answer.
(15:48):
But we all
do stuff differently,and there are generalities.
We need time off.
We need to recharge our batteries.
We need to set boundarieswith the people we work with
and for so that our life, work
life does not overrun our personal life
(16:10):
and steal our joy.
And yes, this is grumpy old white guytalking about joy.
You are allowed to have it.
Let the record state
at 1127 at 2 p.m., Wayne said.
Let there be joy.
(16:30):
And it were.
And let there be joy.
Darn it, it's the holidays.
Well, and to your point about,
you know, respecting each other'sboundaries and things like that.
So, you know,if I know that Wayne is out for a week
and I might still be workingand I have something that I need
to talk to him about or whatever,maybe I don't send that email right now.
(16:51):
We have slack schedulers.
I'm sure Microsoft Teamshas some sort of scheduling thing.
I know outlook does.
You know, if you need to get the emailout of your head.
So that way you don't forget.
Great.
Do it.
Schedule it for when they come backbecause it's
it's just not important right now.
And if it is pick up the phone.
(17:14):
And your desire to get it off
your plate does not mean you get to messwith somebody else.
Absolutely.
And while it will.
Things scheduling emails,
you know, these little
behavioral niceties.
(17:35):
Build up.
You know we've talked beforeabout the trust bank account
and how every time you havea good interaction with somebody it builds
positive will and positive willso that when inevitably something
unhappy happensyou don't drain that account.
Right.
And these little thingsmake all the difference.
(17:57):
You know, you've heard me say before.
My favorite quote from Napoleon.
If you want to avoid war,you avoid the thousand little pinpricks
that lead to war.
Little things like this matter.
So one of the last things I want to cover
before we end this episode is, you know,what are some strategies
(18:18):
that teams can implementto, like, ensure adequate coverage
when team members are taking time off,especially like, you know,
we're going into the holiday season, lotsand lots of people are taking time off.
And in some cases you're workingwith skeleton crews and things like that.
So what can teams kind of planfor ahead of time
to accommodate?
(18:40):
I can't remember the last timeanybody listening to this
heard me say, have a meeting,but this would be one. Yes.
Right.
Prior to probably mid-November,
as a team, look at
what is remaining that needs to be donefor the rest of the year.
(19:03):
That is time sensitive, right?
That isn't just more of the same,but what are the unique
demands of the end of the year?
There are reports that need to be done.
There are all kinds of end of the yearactivities that get added on to,
oh yeah, we're trying to run a businessand sell some stuff.
Crazy.
(19:23):
So as a team, identify what those are
and then talk about who's
going to be a way during that time.
You know, people have use it or lose ittime.
You know, so-and-so can't shut upabout their upcoming trip to Hawaii.
We know they're not going to be here,but somebody else
(19:44):
has a bunch of use it or lose it time,and there's no real occasion.
So we didn't know thatthey're going to be gone.
Have these conversations and
maybe have a slack channelor something like that.
That's just for holiday coverage.
Hey I'm around.
Hey I'm going to be aroundbut I'm going to be out for two days.
(20:09):
Something came up.
I'm not in the rest of the day. Right.
Keep each other apprizedso that there are fewer uncomfortable.
Recognitions. Yeah.
Sudden recognitions.
Right? Well,and in your out of office emails, too.
You can also say, you know,hey, if you have questions about this
talk to this.
I know every time I do an out of office,especially if I'm the only one
(20:32):
taking time off.
Like it depends on what it is.
You know,
if they're talking about long distancework life, I tell them to go to you.
If they're talking about Remarkable
Leadership podcast, they go to Lisa like,I have a list.
Here's all the people that you needto talk to because I'm not here.
Here's the other thingwith a couple of very obvious
exceptions, because you are the tech guruthat the rest of us aren't.
(20:55):
Stuff gets done.
The company is still standingwhen you come back on January,
whatever the heck it is. Yeah,
the building will still be there.
You will still have a job.
Your boss is still going to expect youto get back to work.
And the world has not come to a halt.
(21:16):
Right.
If you are that vital
to the preservationand maintenance of the business,
you are underpaidand your boss is doing it wrong.
And probably have no ideaanything about delegation either.
Depending onwhere you're at in the hierarchy.
But that's something that we needto get used to, to this notion
(21:40):
that if I take my holidays,the bill, you know, the company will fail.
No it won't. Yeah.
Well, it's like we said earlier, that man,that's a life or death situation.
Yeah.
It's like, take your time.
It's right across.
Do it.
(22:01):
So I guess the lesson for this episode,listeners
is that if you aren't taking your PTO,please take it.
If you know that you have days
that you haven't spent this year, andespecially if it's a use it or lose it.
Figure out when you're going to take off.Like right now.
Like stop the show. Go do it.
We will forgive you for not listeningto the rest of this episode.
(22:23):
But, Wayne, I want to thank you so much
for this last live episode of the year.
This last onethat we're going to be recording.
So for those of you that are listening,you'll hear about two weeks of replays
before we get new shows up in January.
But before we go, we're excited to share
that the second edition of The LongDistance Leader is now available.
(22:44):
This updated guide is packedwith actionable strategies to help
you lead effectivelyin today's remote and hybrid environments.
Don't wait.
Order your copy at longdistance work life.com/ldl.
Take your leadershipskills to the next level in 2025.
And because the holidays are
in full swing, we do want to wish youa joyful and restful season.
(23:05):
Take these moments to recharge.
Use your PTO.
Connect with your loved ones and reflecton the wins that you've had this year
because you've earned it.
And thank you so much for listeningto The Longest Worklife for Shownotes
transcripts and other resources.
Make sure to visitLong Distance worklife.com.
And if you enjoyed this episode,
don't forget to subscribeso you never miss a future one.
(23:26):
And while you're at it, leave us a ratingor review on Apple or Spotify.
It's quick, and it helps us reacheven more listeners like you.
And we'd also love to hear from you.
So reach out to us via email or LinkedInwith the links in our show notes
and let us know that you listen to
this episode, or suggest a topic for Wayneand I to tackle in the New Year.
Thank you so muchfor being part of our community.
We hope you have a wonderful holidayseason.
(23:48):
And as Wayne likes to say,don't let the weakness get you down.
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