Menopodcast Season 1 Episode 12

Chattin’ about the Change!

It has been a challenge to learn how to podcast and new ways to Google things! Julia’s been finishing up the movie project she’s been working on and remarks upon the young people she’s working with and the things they DON’T UNDERSTAND because of the age difference. We talk about the radio we used to listen to back in the 70s on Maui. We talk about the rate of change in the past 20 years. Like when Sarah’s kids were born (1999 and 2003) she still took photos on film and had to have them printed to share. It was so different from having the luxury of digital photography and being able to take dozens of shots to get a good one and then just delete the bad ones.

Sarah resigned from her volunteer position this week, and while some people are disappointed in her, she ceases to have any fucks to give anymore. We talk about seeing the movie Fried Green Tomatoes, since Kathy Bates’ character has the classic line: “I’m older and I have more insurance!”

It’s Fall in LA, but that doesn’t mean it will be cold. And hey - are you the Pumpkin Spice type or not??

Bible Study: Chapter 9 - Sex in Menopause: Myths and Reality (the Sex Chapter!) from Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book The Wisdom of Menopause. While we would not say we are prudes, we are also not really exhibitionists, either, so we have been a bit reticent to talk about our sex lives.

It does seem that people in their 60s, 70s etc. can be sexually active, which is good to know. Since we are both married, we discuss how there can be routines and unspoken rules in a marriage, but during menopause, as women are changing or evolving - as we know that we are - that has to affect the relationship, even if our partners haven’t changed. And then add in kids to a marriage and it has to alter your sex life.

Julia says Menopause + Kids at home = Sex Life Challenging. Sarah brings up all the things you can do or try - but it really comes down to what you want to do and how badly you want to do it. Julia brings up balance - that if things in your life are out of balance, then your relationship will be affected for sure.

Dr. Northrup says in the chapter that sexual energy is also like Lust for Life, which we love the sound of. We were fans of Dr. Phil back in the day, and the opening for his show included a clip of him telling someone “I want you to get excited about your life,” which Sarah still thinks about and wants that for her kids - and for herself, her husband, friends. Everyone should have that!

Julia has been married for 16 years and she’s noticed that they had a “routine” for sex when they were dating and then married, before kids, and then when they had their daughter, of course it meant change, but okay - you adjust and adapt - but the times you can have sex are limited because of the kids - and then life happens and work hours are long and things get very complicated - so routines have to adapt again. And dealing with the day to day life is not only tiring but less sexy, so it becomes more of a job to make sex happen.

We recall Dr. Phil talking about how sex and foreplay work in a marriage with kids - that’s it’s very different and you have to learn to deal with it. And there was a sex therapist who was on Oprah who contended that women and men get to intimacy levels differently: women want the cuddling and preparation and the build-up, while men need the physical act first in order to get to that place of being able to give us what we want.

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