How to Teach Mindfulness and Meditation | Part 2 - Presence, Humility, and a Genuine Desire - Mindfulness Exercises, with Sean Fargo

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hi everyone, welcome.
My name is Sean Fargo, founderof Mindfulness Exercises, and
I'd like to introduce you to thesecond part of our four-part
series on the key aspects ofteaching mindfulness.
If you haven't listened to thefirst episode, I encourage you
to take a listen.
It's about the foundation of alleffective mindfulness teachings.

(00:25):
Today, in this second episode,we're going to be talking about
maybe the most common challengethat new mindfulness teachers
face, which is the impostersyndrome, fear of judgment,
feeling not worthy enough to bea mindfulness teacher.

(00:46):
Maybe we don't feel mindfulenough 100% of the time to be
helping others.
We're also going to be talkingabout how to introduce
mindfulness to others foreffectiveness and impact to help
people be open to practicingmindfulness without too much
skepticism.

(01:07):
So if you've ever wondered, am Ireally qualified to teach
mindfulness?
What will people think of me?
How do I get started?
This episode is for you.
We tried to pack it in with asmuch practical tips and tools
for you to actually use so thatyou can make an impact yourself

(01:27):
because the world needs moremindfulness and meditation.
We'll talk about how to movepast these doubts, help you to
help others with moreconfidence, clarity, and
credibility.
And I hope that you enjoy thisepisode.
And now let's talk about thesecond key aspect of teaching

(01:47):
mindfulness.
We're going to talk aboutstrategies to overcome
self-doubt, fear of judgment,and imposter syndrome.
So here's how I learned it.
So I became a monk.
Monk life was awesome.
I wore uh monk robes for quite awhile, and it was the hardest
thing I had ever done.
I shaved my head, I wore monks'robes, slept on a hardwood floor

(02:11):
with no pillow, walked aroundrandom rural villages and farms
with my alms bowl, collectingenough food for my one meal a
day.
I was ordained in uh ruralThailand for a while, uh, also
uh Northern California for awhile, and I had no screens, no
money, no entertainment.

(02:32):
It was the most austere monastictradition I've ever come across,
and it was hard.
But there was a profound beautywith this simple way of living.
All I had to do was practicemindfulness and meditation.
I wasn't so caught up in, youknow, Buddhist theory or
anything like that.
For me, it was just about umcultivating the sense of

(02:55):
presence.
My heart continually broke open,my struggles turned into
resiliency, and I felt much moreembodied and connected over
time.
So I was ordained for two years,at which point I wanted to share
the gifts of mindfulness withothers, given how so many people
around the world seemed to besuffering more and more.

(03:16):
My monastery had a rule though,that I had to be a monk for at
least 10 years before they wouldeven consider allowing me to
teach anything to others.
And even if I did teach, my monkteachers wanted me to teach
Buddhism, which is way morenuanced and complex than simple
mindfulness practices.
So in a way I kind of felttrapped.

(03:37):
Why am I not allowed to teachsimple mindfulness practices
even though they've brought meso much benefit?
Am I not good enough?
What if I just helped a fewpeople be mindful just a little
bit?
I really wanted to sharemindfulness with others.
I also at the same time feltlike I would be an imposter.
I'm not a full master yet.
Uh, will people accept me as amindfulness teacher, knowing

(03:59):
that I'm Sean Fargo from Baker'sSchool in California, who maybe
drank a little bit in college.
Um, I was afraid of beingjudged.
Who does he think he is?
And I was also comparing myselfnegatively with a lot of famous
mindfulness teachers.
Like maybe I need to sound likeJack Cornfield or Tik Not Han or
Tar Brock.

(04:20):
I was afraid I wasn't goodenough.
So maybe some of you are in thisboat now.
I literally had a recurringnightmare about feeling like an
imposter mindfulness teacher,and I had this nightmare all the
time.
The nightmare always went likethis.
So I'm dreaming, and I findmyself in a grocery store
pushing my shopping cart aroundthe aisles, and then I turned a

(04:42):
corner and I accidentally bumpedmy cart into the a very senior,
well-respected mindfulnessteacher.
We looked at each other face toface.
There's no avoiding him.
And he said, Hey Sean, I heardyou're wanting to teach
mindfulness.
Who do you think you are toteach mindfulness?

(05:02):
And then I would wake upsweating, afraid of being found
out.
Oh no.
It's the last thing I want tohappen.
Uh and I never wanted that tohappen in real life.
So I told myself, you know,maybe I'm not good enough.
Maybe later in life I can do it.

(05:23):
Um, but after a few of thesenightmares, after wrestling with
a lot of self-doubt, I wanted tobe free of this fear.
So I did something a littlescary, which is to bring this
gentle awareness, thismindfulness, to the fear itself.
So I imagined a scenario, thesame scenario from the
nightmare, where I'm in the inthe grocery store, reliving that

(05:46):
experience.
And then after feeling all thatfear, I would feel it in my
body.
I would bring this very gentle,spacious awareness to the fear
in my body.
And I would feel, okay, there'sheat in the forehead,
constriction around my heart andmy chest, butterflies in my

(06:07):
belly, tingling in my feet.
These sensations felt veryunpleasant, which I usually
judged as bad, and I reacted tothem with feelings of shame and
guilt.
But this time I stayed withthese sensations of fear, with
more and more gentle awareness,which took all of my courage to
be with it and to not judge itor react to it, knowing that the

(06:33):
pain of not facing my fear waslarger than the pain itself.
I was tired of running away,tired of judging myself, tired
of feeling like an imposter.
So breathing in, I feel thesesensations of fear.
Breathing out, I feel thesesensations of fear.

(06:55):
And over time, these sensationsof fear began to subside.
And then something remarkablehappened.
I had the nightmare again.
I was in the same grocery storewith my cart.
I turned the corner, bumped intothe cart of the same teacher who
said, Hey Sean, I heard you'rewanting to teach mindfulness.
Who do you think you are?

(07:15):
But this time the fear was gone.
I actually had the courage torespond to the respected
mindfulness teacher.
I said, A lot of people aresuffering right now.
Many of them are wanting help,needing help.
And I feel called to help them.
And I know a few simplemindfulness techniques that can

(07:39):
help them.
If they want help, and if I keepfeel called to help them, and I
know I can help them a littlebit, how am I not to help them?
How would I feel if I stood byand watched them suffer, not
extending the support that Ihave to offer?
With the same practices thathave helped me, that would feel

(08:01):
really bad.
Just to kind of stand by andwatch them suffer and not do
anything about it.
And then the dream ended.
Like the dream just kind ofdissolved, and I felt empowered.
Like, yeah, who am I not to helpthem?
I can do this.
And you know, the mindfulnessteacher in my dream didn't have

(08:22):
anything to say.
It's like, I guess that makessense.
And then I felt free, knowingthat, you know, if anyone
challenged me on teachingmindfulness, this is what I
would say.
You know, people want help,people are hurting.
I can help them even just alittle bit.

(08:44):
So who am I not to help them?
Do you want to stop me fromhelping people?
You know, that would be on theirconscience.
That's their karma.
You know, I want to help them.
So I wanted to teach mindfulnessto help people who needed help.
Sensing this new mindset, Ibegan contemplating my exit from
the monastery, which is kind ofa big deal.

(09:07):
That's how I changed mymindfulness teaching mindset
from fear to compassion and asense of agency and service.
Here's how you can use this.
You can sense into any fear thatyou may have.
You can think of yourselfteaching mindfulness and then
reflect on any fear of judgment,sense of unworthiness, or

(09:28):
feeling like an imposter.
You can sense into the physicalsensations of any fear without
judgment.
Allow these sensations to behere.
Breathe with them, explore themgently, and sense like where are
the physical sensations of fearin the body?
What's their temperature, theirshape, their size?

(09:48):
Are they dense or hollow, tinglyor still?
Do they feel like they'repulsing?
In other words, be curious abouthow it actually feels.
Can you drop names of fear,doubt, or shame, replacing these
words with energy or justsensations?
Can you remember that many otherpeople feel similar feelings?

(10:12):
That it's totally normal.
This common humanity we'retalking about.
And can you give yourself thesame sense of care that a friend
would give you during this time?
So give that same sense of careto yourself.
You can take the pressure off.
We can welcome skepticism.
We're not trying to convinceanyone of anything.

(10:32):
We're simply offering thesesimple tools for people to try
to see what works for them.
That's all we can do.
Some will like me, some won't,some won't like mindfulness,
some will.
But either way, we're plantingseeds.
It's not about me, it's not evenabout mindfulness.

(10:53):
It's about helping others togive them tools and practices
they can try and see what worksfor them.
And also, there's a very commonrule of thumb among very senior
mindfulness teachers that whenthey ask dedicated junior
practitioners if they want tobecome mindfulness teachers, if
they want to teach mindfulness,it's actually a good sign if the

(11:15):
person isn't sure if they'reready, or if they express doubt
as to their experience level, orif they express interest in
wanting to learn more about howto do it.
Conversely, it's usually a badsign if the person expresses a
sense of strong confidence orimmediately speculates that

(11:36):
they're going to change theworld with their unique vision
and wisdom right away, or ifthey think teaching mindfulness
is always super easy or thatthey're going to be great at it
all the time.
These signs may mean thatthey're focusing too much on
themselves.
Their motivations are not in theright place.

(11:56):
Their ego may be getting in theway of them actually being able
to connect with people with adeeper sense of care and
humility.
So when people are consideringteaching mindfulness and
meditation, we always need tocheck our motivation, our level
of care for the integrity of theteachings themselves, and our
level of compassion that we havefor the people we want to help.

(12:20):
So that's how you can use thismindset today.
Let's talk about the third keyaspect of teaching mindfulness,
which is the essentialfundamentals for anyone wanting
to introduce mindfulness toanyone.
So, how do you introducemindfulness to anyone?
So here's how I learned how todo it.
So after two years and muchconsideration, I left the

(12:40):
monastery to share mindfulnessand meditation with others.
I was soon hired at Spirit RockMeditation Center to coordinate
mindfulness classes for teacherslike Jack Cornfield, Sharon
Salzburg, and Tara Brock.
I wasn't teaching the classes, Iwas coordinating them with these
teachers.
It was a dream job where Isupported over 50 revered

(13:03):
teachers, my heroes, and over100,000 students over the course
of the next five years.
While I was coordinating one ofthe events, I saw a flyer in the
hallway where I was working atone of the events.
It had a photo of threemuscle-bound men, huge, massive
guys meditating inside a prisoncell.

(13:24):
They were convicted felonsfinding peace.
The flyer was looking for peoplewho wanted to learn how to teach
mindfulness to people on deathrow in maximum security prisons.
And I thought, oh my goodness,wow.
Death row?
I felt terrified by the thoughtof going into a prison with

(13:45):
convicted felons.
This looked like my firstopportunity to actually learn
how to teach mindfulness.
So I registered for the trainingwithout any idea of what I was
getting myself into.
The leader of the training, hisname is Jacques Verdun, who is a
very respected mindfulnessteacher who brought mindfulness

(14:05):
into prisons across Californiaand across the country.
He's highly revered by inmatesand the general public alike.
Jack Cornfield.

(14:40):
You need people to actuallytaste it to know what that
experience is like.
He asked me to keep mindfulnessand meditation as simple and
experiential as possible.
No fancy postures, no hyperpromotion, nothing complicated
or cerebral.
If inmates voiced skepticism,boredom, or angst or anything,

(15:02):
that's okay.
We can welcome it.
We can validate it.
We can honor it.
When there's space forconceptual teachings, we can
note what mindfulness is, whatit isn't, and how it may be
helpful in the moments that theyneed it most.
So we can ask them, you know,when could you use a sense of

(15:25):
presence or peace and then applyit to those moments?
Simple enough, right?
We walked into San Quentin,which is a maximum security
prison where inmates aresentenced to life.
There are hundreds of convictedfelons walking around us in
these blue uniforms.
And I felt all of their eyes onme.

(15:45):
I never felt so vulnerable inthe presence of convicted
murderers, thieves, rapists allaround me.
Jacques and I walked into alarge room with about 30 inmates
sitting in chairs in a circle.
We sat down with them,introduced ourselves, shared
that we felt honored to practicemindfulness with them, and we

(16:08):
shared our heartfelt intentionsto support them in their
difficult situation.
It was helpful to be Jacques'sassistant mindfulness teacher,
to allow him to answer some ofthe questions I had never
answered before, get a feelingfor being a mindfulness teacher
without being the sole focalpoint.
So having a co-teacher can bereally helpful, and I encourage

(16:30):
that to anyone listening.
If you know someone who canteach mindfulness even a little
bit, consider being a co-teacherfor a little while.
But together we led somemindfulness meditations,
answered a few questions, anddebunked some common
misconceptions aboutmindfulness, like about clearing
your mind of all thoughts.
You need to be religious tomeditate.

(16:51):
Meditation requires time, space,incense, music, and other stuff.
Mindfulness requires years ofpractice to benefit, and
mindfulness is only about thatmoment, and then you get back to
life.
These are all misconceptions,and so we addressed some of
these to help demystifymindfulness, make it more

(17:12):
practical and relevant forpeople.
My first mindfulness teachingexperience went okay.
No one beat me up, no one killedme.
I survived the tale.
A few inmates even said it wasthe first time they'll felt
peaceful in a long time, whichmade me feel really, really,
really, really happy.

(17:32):
And I went in to teach in a fewmore prisons, and my journey to
teaching mindfulness had begun.
So that's how I started learningsome mindfulness teaching
fundamentals.
Here's how you can use it today.
So we can welcome skepticism.
You're not trying to convinceanyone of anything, you're
simply inviting people to trysome practices to see what works

(17:54):
for them.
You can remind people that thisisn't religious or belief-based.
Mindfulness can actually enhancewhatever they already believe.
You can emphasize experientialpractice over concepts, no need
to be overly formal.
We can even invite playfulcuriosity of however we're
feeling.
I often don't tell people howlong we'll practice for.

(18:18):
This keeps them on their toeswith the actual practice.
To convey concepts or lessons,you can try the method of story,
teach, tool.
You can begin with a story,convey the lesson of the story,
and then give them a tool thatthey can use.
You can mix up your teachingswith poems, quotes,
infographics, you can relateteachings to current events.

(18:42):
You can review mindfulnessteaching fundamentals with the
MBI T A C, Mindfulness-BasedInterventions Teaching
Assessment Criteria, which goesover these six domains of
teaching mindfulness withexamples of like good and bad
ways of doing it.
How to encourage courage topractice mindfulness?

(19:06):
So you can think in your past,how has a lack of gentle
awareness of your mostunpleasant experiences
negatively impacted your life?
These days, how is a lack ofgentle awareness of your most
unpleasant experiencesnegatively impacting your life?
And in the future, 10, 20, 30years from now, how will a lack

(19:26):
of gentle awareness of yourunpleasant experiences
negatively impact your life?
From your career to yourrelationships, to your sense of
self-worth, to your quality ofpresence, finance, everything in
your life, how will a lack ofmindfulness impact you in the

(19:46):
past, present, future?
And then in your past, how hasmindfulness, so this gentle
awareness of your mostunpleasant experiences,
positively impacted your life?
Or how is just this sense ofpresence with anything, whether
it's unpleasant or pleasant, howhas this positively impacted
your life in the past, in thepresent, and in the future, if

(20:10):
you practice more and more, whatmight that do to your
relationships, your career, yoursense of self-worth, your
spirituality, your finances,your dreams?
And to cultivate appreciationfor this very experience, we can
practice mindfulness of death,which is known as the most
powerful mindfulness practice,sensing that this very inhale

(20:35):
could be your last, whichcultivates acceptance and awe
for everything that's here now,whether it's pleasant,
unpleasant, or neutral.
We wake up to the preciousnessof this moment, regardless of
who we are.
So that's how you can use someof these fundamentals today.
That wraps up our second episodeon these keys of teaching

(20:58):
mindfulness.
Curious what you think of thesecond episode.
Today we explored how tonavigate this self-doubt that a
lot of us have, that I used tohave, imposter syndrome, as well
as fundamentals of introducingmindfulness to others.
Please leave us a review or acomment, let us know what you

(21:18):
think.
What do you want to apply inyour quest to help others be
more present andself-compassionate and
resilient?
In our next episode, part threeout of four, we'll continue this
journey by looking at practicalstrategies for how to make
mindfulness teaching morerelevant for the community or

(21:40):
the audience who you want toteach.
I'm not a big fan ofcookie-cutter teachings for
everyone.
I don't think that mindfulnessis kind of one size fits all.
I think that mindfulnessteaching should be changed to be
more relevant to the people whoyou want to help.
So speaking their own language,finding what their goals are,

(22:04):
what their pain points are.
And so we're going to be talkingabout how to make it highly
relevant for people.
So please be on the lookout forepisode three out of our
four-part series.
And in the meantime, I hope thatyou take the time to meditate,
deepen your practice, sensewithin where your barriers are

(22:26):
to your own love and care andpresence, and reflect on how you
can utilize today's teachings inyour own life.
In the meantime, please takegood care of yourself, and I
look forward to connecting againsoon in our four part series.
Thank you for listening.

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How to Teach Mindfulness and Meditation | Part 2 - Presence, Humility, and a Genuine Desire

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