Mistakes Were Made

Mistakes Were Made

Non monogamy for imperfect people. Hosted by a queer therapist and her husband of 15 years. Sarah & Alex share their experiences opening their marriage, and interview guests about the struggles & rewards of doing relationships your own way. Mistakes Were Made is part advice, part confession, part culture critique. But it’s all about learning from our missteps and stumbling toward liberation. Follow us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/. Logo design by roy franklin of the Whatever Factory - https://www.whateverfactory.org/.

Episodes

September 26, 2025 80 mins

What are my boundaries? What are my needs? How do I share them with my partners? Sarah and Alex try to understand the differences between rules and boundaries, needs and desires.

Mentioned in the episode

Glitter & Greed: The Lisa Frank Story

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to...

Mark as Played

Hollywood made a movie about open relationships (sort of). We watched it so you don't have to!

Mentioned in the episode: 

Splitsville | Together | Together’s free couples therapy gimmick

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Mark as Played

Sarah and Jessica are fasting this week, so we’re sharing an episode that first aired in the spring of 2024. Is polyamory inherently apolitical? Is it just an excuse for rich people to avoid thinking about climate change? Did Sarah accidentally make out with a Trump supporter at the ferry dock??? Tune in to find out! 

Mentioned in the episode: 

Parents Fast for Gaza | @parentsfast4gaza on inst...

Mark as Played

Sarah and Alex talk with therapist and ‘Crush Coach’ (it’s not what you think), Calvin Burnap, about mindfulness, queerness and the gift of bad sex.

Mentioned in the episode: 

The Crush Coach | The Crush Coach on Instagram | All About Love | Esther Perel | The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin | Jenny Hayo | Dan Savage 

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakesca...

Mark as Played
July 4, 2025 78 mins

A mysterious green tupperware offers a portal to the past. Sarah and Alex talk about how their feelings about hierarchy, sleepovers, vetoes and more have changed over five years of being polyamorous.

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Mark as Played
June 13, 2025 67 mins

Sarah and Alex investigate mind-blowing, legendary, earth-moving sex, to find out if such a thing actually exists, and if so, how to have it.

Mentioned in the episode:

Sexucation for Men Podcast | “Take my Breath Away” Scene from Top Gun | Partner-Specific Learning

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Mark as Played

Sarah and Alex unpack the mournful refrain: “if on...

Mark as Played

How does death, loss and grief impact our relationships? After a year filled with loss, Sarah and Alex talk to a trauma-informed spiritual care provider about the taboos around death, and what happens to our desire when people around us die. 

Mentioned in the episode:

Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration by David Wojnarowicz | Without: Poems by Donald Hall | Wayward Lives, Beautiful...

Mark as Played
April 11, 2025 75 mins

Is it you? Is it me? Are you moving to Antarctica?? In this episode we talk about how and how not to end a relationship.

Mentioned in the episode:

@karamintheworld on Instagram

mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Mark as Played

Are the same dynamics screwing up our relationships also hampering our social movements? Sarah and Alex talk to activist and law professor Dean Spade about the romance myth, capitalism and love in this f*cked up world.

Mentioned in the episode:

Love in a F*cked Up World | DeanSpade.net | The Death Panel | Movement Memos

Also by Dean Spade:

Mutual Aid | Normal Life: Ad...

Mark as Played
February 28, 2025 78 mins

Encore episode

Romance: what does it mean?? Sarah, Alex and Jess talk about their favorite romantic movies on the hottest day of the year. And finally answer the question: what IS romance? Or, do they just come up with 5,000 new questions? Listen to the end to find out! This episode first aired in August 2024.

Mentioned in the episode:

Say Anything (Cameron Cro...

Mark as Played
February 7, 2025 80 mins

Last episode we started to talk about race in dating, and tbh…mistakes were made. So this episode we’re doubling down! Ramsey shares his experience dating as a Black polyamorous man in Seattle, offers advice for white people dating other races, and asks us “taboo” questions about our own experiences.  

Mentioned in the episode:

Mark as Played

We had such an interesting side conversation with Reagan about her experience working with a dating coach that we had to make a bonus episode all about it.

Mentioned in the episode:

Mark as Played

Sarah and Alex's skeptical monogamous friend Reagan Jackson is back to grill them about sex, jealousy, and whether they’re just dating other versions of each other over and over.

Mentioned in the episode:

Mark as Played
December 27, 2024 71 mins

Lissa joins the podcast to help us parse out the difference between polyamory and swinging. And Alex opens up about his not-so-hot sex party experience.

Mentioned in the episode:

Mark as Played

TMI time! Sarah and Alex work on healthy habits for disclosing info about sex and feelings in their other relationships. What’s an overshare? When is it hiding or deception? And what is the nature of truth anyway? 

Mentioned in the episode:

Mark as Played
November 15, 2024 61 mins

Sarah and Alex make sense of the election results by talking about developmental stages, anti-social behavior, and oh yeah and also polyamory.

Mentioned in the episode:

Mark as Played

Welcome to season 4 of Mistakes Were Made! Today we're asking: How much conflict should you expect in a healthy relationship? In this episode Sarah, Jessica and Alex explore how to fight better (rather than avoiding fights altogether) by understanding our internal patterns and reaction styles. Logo design by Roy Franklin: http://whateverfactory.org.

Mentioned in the episode:

Talk to us:

mistakescast@...

Mark as Played
August 30, 2024 80 mins

Which fork should you use on a first polyamorous date? Do you have to let your partner be the little spoon all the time? We pondered these and other burning questions in the Finale episode of Season Three.

Srsly though, here's the etiquette and advice we gathered for this episode, if you don't want to listen to 80 mins of our charming banter:

  1. Let your partners consent into information ab...
Mark as Played
August 9, 2024 78 mins

Romance: what does it mean?? Sarah, Alex and Jess talk about their favorite romantic movies on the hottest day of the year. And finally answer the question: what IS romance? Or, do they just come up with 5,000 new questions? Listen to the end to find out!

Mentioned in the episode:

Mark as Played

Popular Podcasts

    If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

    Cardiac Cowboys

    The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.

    The Joe Rogan Experience

    The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

    On Purpose with Jay Shetty

    I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

    The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show

    The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.

Advertise With Us
Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.