Why School Refusal May Not Be What It Seems (and What to Do Instead)

School refusal and distress are the subject of the day, as Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes child psychologist and former school psychologist, Dr. Emily King. They discuss the importance of understanding the underlying causes of anxiety, the need for neurodiversity-affirming approaches, and the balance between structure and flexibility in educational settings. The also discuss the importance of grace, connection, and individualized strategies when helping children navigate their emotional experiences.

TAKEAWAYS

• School refusal is often a response to anxiety, not an active choice.

• Understanding the difference between school refusal and school distress is crucial.

• Patterns of anxiety can vary based on environmental factors.

• Children may need different levels of support depending on their emotional state.

• Co-regulation is essential for helping children manage anxiety.

• Predictability in routines can help reduce anxiety for neurodivergent children.

• Flexibility within structure is important in educational settings.

• Parents should focus on what is necessary in their routines to reduce stress.

• Exit plans can empower children and reduce feelings of being trapped.

• Every child's experience is unique, and strategies should be individualized.

Register here for a free one-hour continuing education webinar entitled The Cost of Camouflage: Exploring Masking and Burnout in Neurodivergent Clients. It’s a free service of the Neurodiversity University!

Dr. Emily King is a child psychologist and former school psychologist with over 20 years of experience working with neurodivergent children and teens. She began her career specializing in school-based mental health in K-12 public schools in Houston, Texas, before transitioning to private practice in North Carolina, where she now supports the mental health needs of neurodivergent youth, their families, and educators.

Dr. Emily is the creator of The Neurodiverse Classroom, a professional development curriculum for educators, and hosts Learn with Dr. Emily on Substack, where she shares blogs, live workshops, and insights on neurodiversity and education. Her upcoming book, The Neurodivergent Learner, will be available for presale in early 2026. Her expertise has been featured on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Parents.com.

BACKGROUND READING

Facebook, Instagram, Threads, LinkedIn