All Episodes

January 31, 2022 18 mins
Are you pretending to be happy? How does this question make you feel?

View this post on HeathArmstrong.com

There is great danger when you value “appearing to be” over “being”

“Appearing to be” is pretending to be something you are not, usually at the expense of yourself and the benefit of someone else. “Being” is honoring the truth within you no matter how messy it may be.

Here are some examples:

  1. Doing what you “should” (appearing to be) vs. Doing what truly lights you up (being)
  2. Hiding behind your smile (appearing to be) vs. Smiling while you cry because you are sharing your truth and it feels relieving (being)
  3. Sharing filtered pictures to enhance your features or correct your blemishes (appearing to be) vs. Sharing your raw, natural beauty and helping others build confidence to do the same (being)
  4. Telling your friends that your broken relationship is thriving to avoid shame and judgment (appearing to be) vs. Communicating honestly with your partner, friends, and therapist about your hardships, thus creating opportunity for healing and growth (being)
  5. Resisting exercise or meditation because you are “too busy” (appearing to be) vs. Prioritizing self-care practices, thus enhancing all aspects of your life (being)

“Appearing to be” is resistance. It feels easy in the moment but destroys you over time.

“Being” is the hardest work of all, but it bears eternal fruits. It removes the space between you and your truth.

Are you appearing to be, or are you being?

Be aware of the gremlins

“Appearing to be” is also an elusive trick of mASS media, corrupt politicians, and con-artists. These tricksters are predatory gremlins.

Their schemes may sound familiar:

“Act the part” even though you don’t enjoy it. “Do as you are told” even though you don’t want to. “Follow the rules” even though they only benefit someone else. “Be good” even though good and bad are completely subjective. “Behave” or endure shame and punishment…

As you strive to live in truth, be aware of the world that “appears to be.”

Choose to be a hot mess

What if you allow yourself to simply be you? What if you unleash the raw, hot mess of beauty and chaos within you?

Choosing to be (rather than appearing to be) sets you free.

Exploration keeps you free.

Creating removes the trap altogether.

Do you really have anything better to do?

.css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}
Mark as Played

Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.