Sorry for Asking Podcast Mashup with Cole Connor and Adam Ramzi

Put the kids to bed and turn down the lights for this On the Rocks After Dark edition with the hosts of Sorry for Asking Podcast, besties and adult film performers Cole Connor, GayVN Performer of the Year, and Adam Ramzi as they talk about growing up in a conservative environment, mental health in the LGBTQ community, the realities of the being an adult performer, how they met, and what their podcast is all about! We also tackle some hot topics. Raise a glass, it's a Sorry for Asking On the Rocks podcast mashup!...with your sassy host with the sassy most, Alexander Rodriguez.

From Straw Hut Media

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Straw Media. Hello on the Rockers, Put the kids to bed, Lock
it up. It's on the Rocksafter Dark on the special edition episode we
Chat with the Hotties. I'm sorryfor asking podcast Adult performers and besties gave
you in Performer of the Year ColeConnor and the porn version of Aladdin?
Where is it you far? AdamRamsey is here with me? Who nobody
wants to watch? Film? Adultcontact? Wom your favorite host with the

(00:24):
sassy most Raise a glass, lowerthe lights, let the drinks begin.
It's on the Rocks. Thank youfor life is a banquet and most poor
suckers are starving to death. I'dlike to propose a toast. This is
on the Rocks for Alexander, right, drink with your favorite celebrities as you

(00:47):
talk about fashion, entertainment, ofculture, reality TV, and well that's
about it. So pop a cork, lean back and raise the glasses to
arm the rocks fast and you seethe Lord have mercy buttons in both and
panty hose. On the Rocks Podcasta place where we're two glam to give

(01:08):
it am. I was gonna wearall red for Valentine's Day, but I
didn't want you thinking I was Rihannapregnant again? Hey, I love cards.
Give me a break. You wantto know how your single, super
gay and a mama's boy. Mymom got me this. It's chocolate.
It's called the Perfect Man and itreally is number one. He's chocolate smooth
and doesn't talk back. I'm justI'm in love. And the serving size

(01:30):
on the back says half man.I'm gonna have a few half men tonight,
if you know what I mean.Anyway, just real fast. We've
been getting messages on where you cansee us live, where you can hang
out with us, So get ready. This is where you can get wasted
with me. Girl. Get readythis weekend. I'm your host for Out
at the Fair for Riverside County Fairon the Pageant Stage Saturday, February eighteenth
at seven pm. Also Sunday,February twenty six, I'm your MC for

(01:53):
Redemption Pool Party at IBC in PalmSprings. March first, I will be
doing on the Rocks Live with theRoundtable podcast live on stage at Green Room
forty two in New York City.Get ready for that. We have Charles
Bush and Michael Mustow are going tobe our guests and we're singing as well.
March third to the fifth, I'myour MC for nest Fest at Roost
Cathedral City for LGBTQ Pride for CathedralCity with Christopher Waters Peppermache and youre Christian

(02:16):
American idols David Hernandez and Moore.March eighteenth time back at Green Room in
New York for Unsung Middler, mynew cabaret show featuring the music of the
Divine Miss m Oh Girl. Weare traveling. Also April six at Chelsea
Table and Stage for an evening onthe Luani remembering the Golden Girls at again
back in New York City. Headto on the Rocks Radio Show dot com
for all of the links and theinfo. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok

(02:38):
at on the Rocks on Aaron onFacebook. On The Rocks Radio Show,
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Rocks Radio Show dot com. Theshow's presented by Stratt Meet It. You
can watch and or listen to.Are now over three hundred episodes at on
the Rocks Radio Show dot com Watchus on Apple TV, Roku, Amazon,
Fire TV, on the out ofdot tv at Facebook. Watch streaming

(02:58):
with Pride on SVTV and on Channelthirty one on the East Coast. You
Lucky East Coast four times a week. All right, let's get this show
in the road. Bring back mymen. Could Connor is your salt and
pepper fantasy kaling from Kentucky. Myfavorite things come from a Kentucky, Kentucky
fried chicken and Cold Connor. Itis very short time in the biz.
He has become a Falcon Hanket sortexclusive. You can pick your friends and

(03:22):
you can pick your own nose.Apparently. He one gave me a Performer
of the Year and the Grabby Awardsfor Best Newcomer. He's co host of
the Fabulous Sorry for Asking podcast.Please Welcome Cold Connor Hello. Also joined
us play is Prince rom Deep.This Armenian, LA native hunk of man

(03:43):
is an actor, musician, adultfilm performer, therapist, writer and podcaster.
He's filmed with about every important studioout there. And you don't want
to challenge his smarts because he willwin and you will lose, and then
he's gonna let you know that hewant to. He also co hosts the
Sorry For Asking podcast with gold Connor. Please welcome, Adam Ramsey. Hi.

(04:11):
Um, We're just gonna jump intoit. Um. We have tons
of questions. We got a lotof fan questions as well. I just
want to start way off before porn, before any of this. Your experience
growing up, now, Adam,I know growing up in our mean as
as an Armenian, but in LAyou're an LA native. You went to
a private Armenian squad, did sothat must have been such an experience being

(04:33):
part of the Armenian culture, whichI know is very conservative. But then
you're in the middle of LA,which is so diverse. What was it
like growing up and when did youkind of realize that maybe I'm not like
the other boys? Oh? God? First of all, I want to
say that opening was amazing. Youare crushing it, girl. That's my
party. I'm sweating off my halfman by gosh. I love Charles Bush.

(04:59):
I love all the old time references, some Carol channings, some Elaine
Stritch was in there a little bit. She's my favorite. I'm serious.
Um yeah, so yeah, Idid definitely feel a little out of place.
I think, Um, growing upin the Arminian American community, it
felt very insular, like you know, as a byproduct of years of persecution.

(05:24):
Sorry to say the Armenian community.I think a side effect has been,
like you know, in an effortto preserve the culture, they ended
up being kind of like isolated,and you know, anything non Armenian was
considered like scary. And you know, it's funny because we as the LGBTQ
community sometimes get that way for sure, but we also have that division with
the trans community and the gay communitysometimes as well. Sometimes also Jews,

(05:46):
Yes, Jews. I knew youwere doing your first scene. I'm like,
oh, he's Jewish. Yeah.I just felt like, you know,
growing up Armenian and then like realizingI was gay. Uh. You
know, the Army flag is red, blue, and orange, and I
was always like to say, Ijust added a few colors to my flag.
I love that. Plus the Armenianculture, how can you not be
gay? The men are just sobeautiful, Like some of them really hit

(06:10):
it out of the park, It'strue. Yes, So how did you
kind of approach the subject with yourfamily? How did you yourself start to
accept it with your own You're like, you know, I'm going to explore
this part of my life. Iwas raised Catholic. Yeah, I didn't
come out till I was a juniorin college. And that's even coming out
to myself, right, So howdid you kind of take control of that
situation be like no, this iswho I am. You know, it
took some time. I think atfirst I knew I was attracted to men,

(06:32):
but when I was in high school, I thought it made I thought
it actually gave me kind of anedge, being able to be like,
yeah, I think that dude's hot. That makes me cool because like the
other guys think it's really gay tothink guys are hot. And I didn't
think that I was gay, quoteunquote, like I always thought I was
going to marry a girl eventually,but then it wasn't until I started kind
of being more sexually active and realizinglike, oh, this might not go

(06:54):
away that like I was just like, okay, I need to feel okay
with this. I told my closerfriends, I told my sister who's also
gay. I told my brothers um, and then I told my parents were
divorced. And it was very interestingbecause my mom was basically like, I'm
so glad you live in a timewhere you can explore this about yourself,

(07:15):
because I remember back in the daywhen men didn't come out till they were
in their fifties and were already marriedand had to tell their wives and kids.
Um. So that was really niceto get that kind of support.
On one side, my dad tooka lot longer. My dad was dad
estated. Um, but he's amazingnow. He's really come around. And
there's those ideas of machismo in theArmenian culture like there are in in the

(07:38):
Mexican culture. They're just like,this is what a man is supposed to
act. Like, Um, haveyou always been a button pusher because you
were like, oh, you know, push buttons. I mean, you're
like a machine. But I haven'tbeen called that in a while, but
yes, I am known in myfamily as the the button pusher black sheep
ish. I like button pusher,batter. I'm gonna I'm gonna steal that

(07:58):
if you don't mind. I thinkit's right. It's like why not.
I like taking risks, I likebeing weird, um and um, yeah,
it's fun. And like nowadays beinggay isn't that much of being a
button pusher? Uh, it's almostwe're almost mainstream, well at least in
California, well in parts of it. You know, I was born and
raised in Orange County, which isabout an hour south of here. Yeah,
still super conservative, there's still Trumpboots still open and like me coming

(08:22):
out in the Catholic church, noway, no, how right. There
was just that wasn't even an option. I didn't even have the language.
I didn't know the feelings I wasfeeling. I didn't watch my first gay
porn. That was a shock.I was like, whoa, where did
that go? Yeah, but Imean even the idea of gay sex.
First time I had gay sex,I didn't know how to do it,
and it was it was traumatizing.So the fact like I didn't do it,
I didn't try to get for anothersix months. It was like,

(08:43):
no, that did not work.Yeah, in that poop are you where
are you bottoming or topping? I'mso I'm a blouse top not top,
not like oh I'm I would onlyneed to be a top not that.
It just it just cannot happen,like I've trapped it just it just won't
be poor thing. I know,And I feel bad and people expect because
of my voice in my aunt.So a date night, you get into

(09:05):
the bedroom's like okay and they're likeokay. I was like no, just
the pillow like hello, never worksout. Um. But in talking about
conservative coming from Kentucky, which isalso conservative on a whole different level,
Um, what was that kind ofexperience growing up? Well, I mean,
as I said, I'm Jewish,so it like is a little less.

(09:26):
I reformed Judaism as a lot lessconservative than Christianity. I feel like,
um so yeah, But I meanI had a similar experience as Adam.
I. You know, I thoughtit would go away. I thought
I remember in middle school we hadI went to a magnet school and we

(09:50):
had a dress code. It waslike khaki's and button down shirt. I
don't care if you're at Target withthey used to make, or the u
ps Man or our private school becausewe had khakis. Do in high school,
Khakis make everybody look at They're likethey're like gray sweatpants, yes,
but they help people that you putthem a gray sweatpantsls in. Yeah,

(10:11):
but you can see the stuff.So you're like when we're walking down the
hallway and I'm like I remember likebeing like my eyes are just drift to
guys crotches and be like stop stopit, stop looking at the stop stop.
You can't have to do that,like keep your eyes up and like
I I you know, like Imean, I fought it really hard until
like into my twenties, so whichthe young ends nowadays are like twenties,

(10:35):
my god, like you're half deadby that. You know, you're a
daddy by twenty four, especially inporn. But it's funny that the younger
generation like they're coming out at thirteenfourteen and they're just like this is who
I am. But it can alsochange. It's not like I felt when
I came out that okay, therewas only gay and straight, that was
it. There was bisexuality was ajoke, not even to talk about non
binary. That wasn't even in thelanguage. But but now it's like you

(10:56):
are always evolving, so there isno definite anymore, which I think is
so great for you because we allchange, right Well yeah, I mean
people a lot more people are morefluid than we than we think they are.
And also, um shit, Ihad a point and I was just

(11:18):
about you know, like, ohthis is what I was like, you
know, you're you're told, oh, oh, boys experiment like that's just
normal. It's it's like it'll goaway. You're like, well, okay,
right, maybe it will. Whenthe sad thing is that people feel
that they have to shove it awayat a certain time and then to your
point, like then they get marriedand then they have kids, and then

(11:39):
they have to come out later andit's devastating for everybody rather than just being
yourself. Well, I love theidea of fluidity now. I feel like
it's much more popular. I likeknowing that maybe there are some people who
did try it and we're like,you know what, glad I tried it.
That was fun. I'm still moreattracted to women, or I'm still
you know what I mean, Like, I'm still you know, straight at
the heart of it, the Kinseyscale, I think even needs a bit

(12:00):
of an update, like you knowwhat I mean. And I think it's
cool when guys are comfortable enough orwomen are comfortable enough to it seems a
little more mainstream, or at leastmore accepted for women to experiment. When
we were younger, if men didit, it was like, hey,
hey, no I'm not gay.I would never but it's like, but
even look at the adult film worldas well, like two women in straight

(12:24):
porn, like that's a normal thing, but you say gay, like,
oh no, none of that gaystuff. It's like, well, what
do you think two women together are? But that's such a foundation of straight
porn. But also there's a lotof home eroticism in and straight porn with
two with more than one man,like you have a three somethings are gonna
touch. We're gonna touch. Yeah, thank god, we always look for

(12:45):
it. Well they're they're touch.Well we're gonna talk about that and how
it relates to both of you guys, by the way. But but you
know, it's very interesting coming fromthe Jewish culture. So I'm an atheist
recent atheists. I'm not an angryatheist like oh God, don't believe in
good like whatever you want to do. But raising the Catholic Church, and

(13:05):
in the last two weeks, theChurch of England has said that they want
to start using non gender specific pronounsfor God. And then everybody started freaking
out because they're like, oh myGod, that is making the Bible too
woke and what are you talking about. Catholics freaked out like everybody and it
was so the Church of England.But everybody's having a comment, and even

(13:28):
like Republicans are saying that is takingthe Bible too woke. But wait a
minute. So, being an atheist, I know more about religion than I
ever did growing up as a Catholic. So I studied, in fact,
like my minor is in religion becauseI couldn't saturate enough of the history of
it, and a huge part ofthat was Judaism. So I went to
Israel for two weeks to study.Wow, when you look at the original
text, the early Hebrew text arenon gender specific in terms of even the

(13:50):
Holy Spirit was a female pronoun inHebrew. When it got changed, everything
got masculated, the patriarchy, it'sit's struck for sure, and stuck around
too. But it's crazy because theidea of God is that God is an
other being, not human. That'swhat we're here for. So to put
a pronoun on something or a presencethat's non human um And in the Old

(14:13):
Testament, God in Genesis refers tothemselves as we make people in our own
image. That was one of theoriginals. So he even he, even
I'm conditioned to use it. Everyone'sconditioned to use it. I mean,
like crazy. I was actually thinkingabout this the other day. How like,
how like when we pray, wesay in the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost. And I'm like, wow,
do women ever feel weird when they'reat church and they're praying to the Father

(14:35):
and the Son? Like, whatabout the mother and the daughter? Hello?
Like, I mean without Mary,we'd be pretty without Christianity, right
totally? I mean hello, bothMary's. Yes, Well, Mary,
I want to like, this isa conversation, but it's people having an
opinion, not in understanding the rootof their own faith, such as the
Jewish faith, even though very likethe Orthodox is very extreme having women in

(14:58):
the in the different you know roomand all that. But in terms of
the original text, it being sofluid, you know, it's just so
weird how man has just changed itinto something so negative. Anyway, I
could go up on that tangent,but I want to talk about both of
you before. So, Adam,I am fascinated with your resume, with
everything that you had playing for aband, Masters in Psychology, therapist internship

(15:24):
in San Francisco, stage acting.Um, what were you looking for and
what are you looking for now interms of where your priorities and where your
shift is because you've done a littlebit of everything. Yeah, was it
that you were looking for something toattach onto and did these elements of your
life do it for you? Orgreat questions. I'm just pouring myself.

(15:50):
I'm like, maybe I should pourmyself on too. I was like,
um, yeah, on the rocksright here, well brands and well,
um yeah. I always kind ofprided myself on being a jack of all
trades but also a master of none. Like I remember a friend kind of
telling me like, oh, no, the only way you're really going to

(16:11):
succeed in anything is if you pickone thing and stick to it, which
I kind of on one level,I was like, he's totally right.
It worked for some people, yeah, But on the other I was like,
I can't do it. I'm sorry. I when I lived in San
Francisco, I was doing everything.I was having my counseling internship. I
was working as a bar back ina bar. I was go go dancing,
I was doing porn. I waslike thriving in that city. That's

(16:33):
life. You could imagine, Like, you know what I meant paid for
dancing? How funny, I wasgetting paid for all of it, and
like and like, you know,everyone kept telling me how San Francisco is
such an expensive place to live,and I went up there and I was
like saving money. But then Icame back to LA and things kind of
changed, and like the pandemic happened, and I, you know, I
definitely saw the other side of whatit's like to throw things at the wall

(16:55):
and see what sticks, because sometimesthey don't stick. That's life, though,
And I realized, like, Ido not feel I don't like feeling
lost, and so I kind ofstarted really questioning myself a lot. And
then it was sort of like aroundthis time last year that well, actually
it was a little bit before then, where like I started doing nightlife things
again but more of in a producingrole. And then that was when we

(17:15):
started doing this podcast and things justkind of started fitting into place again.
And I was like, oh,this feels good. These things are things
that feel good. I have timefor them, I can do them.
They give me joy. I don'thate going to work. So now I'm
kind of like just riding that wave. I make occasional content and occasional porn.

(17:36):
I love doing this podcast with coaland my nightlife things. I throw
two weekly events, one on aSunday called hot Dog when one on a
Thursday called Gym Class at High Tops, and they're they're doing so well.
So it's kind of it just feelsnice when what you're doing feels like it's
landing. What you want to talkabout inclusivity hot Dog on Sundays and for
those not in LA local area,if you come to LA to visit codat

(18:00):
Talk Sundays, there's so much inclusionand sexiness. It's like, Okay,
this is what every LGBTQ event shouldbe. And not even LGBTQ. It's
like the girls are like, can'twe play? It's like no, bitch,
go away. But but it's soinclusive. But I'm want to talk
about San Francisco because there's been thislike cold war between San Francisco and LA
and you've talked about it in oneof your interviews. It's like, well
you had roots in both cities.Yeah, Um, we're does that weird

(18:23):
animosity come from and your experience lovingboth cities You've done your research. I'm
so first of all, this iswhat we do. I have your muck
shots. I also have your everyNew York people. I remember it.
I actually remember it because you know, I've been you know, a sexually
active gay adult male for like agood fifteen to eighteen years now, and

(18:48):
I remember making friends from New Yorkand friends from San Francisco who just would
always say the most shallow things aboutLA. They'd be like, oh,
I just hate how fake it is. And I'd be like, wow,
okay, well tell me what youmean by that, and they would never
have an answer and they'd be likethey'd be like, yeah, I came
and visited and it sucked. Iwas staying with my cousin in North Ridge
and we went out to the abbeyand it took so long. I'm like,

(19:08):
well, that's sort of where youfucked up. So then I started,
like right before I moved to SanFrancisco, I remember being like part
of this wave of people that waslike, come visit, come visit,
and just like see the back backside, I mean, so to speak of
like what we've got going on inLA. And like people started realizing,
oh, LA is actually kind ofcool. And then guess what, San

(19:32):
Francisco and New York half of themall started moving here, and that's when
our rent started going up. Iremember the moment it happened. It was
like around twenty eleven, twenty andtwelve that like people started moving here and
then our rent just started slowly skyrocketAnd it's all your fault. It's all
my fault. It's not just myfault. But like you know, asking,

(19:56):
we wanted to show people that LAwas more than just West Hall,
Hollywood and the Hollywood Walk of Fameand freeways like well, and that's even
like the worst part of our cityis actual Hollywood Boulevard, like the Walk
of Fame, Like that's awful,the Hollywood Sign. You're like, Okay,
that's not LA. But I thinka lot of people are. But
it's like that that's not all youknow it is. But I think coming

(20:19):
to LA is very difficult, evenme coming to LA from Orange County.
It's very difficult. Yeah. Itweeds out the people that can make it.
It weeds out the people that arewilling to work hard. It's we's
out the people that actually have atalent. You cannot you know here I
am talking about, Like, buteven if you're the hottest guy does not
mean success. It just does not. However, I've had this conversation with

(20:41):
a friend of mine that it's livedin New York too, and we were
like, we both think or we'relike, yes, if you are gorgeous
and hot in LA but maybe maybenot so bright, you'll probably find someone
that will that. You'll probably findpeople that can help you out when you
need help. In New York.Nobody's gonna put up with that show,

(21:03):
you know, but you've got toat least be charming. And I think
in New York people don't give ashit about charming. They see through in
LA if you're charming, even ifyou're not bright, if you're yeah,
like and totally if you are cute, you'll end up on the CW and
it's still we know that, oryou'll end up on the Real Friends if
we hope. But up there talkingabout stage acting, you know, the

(21:30):
acting you do in the adult filmworld is still acting. You know,
whether you're with a co star,you're like, okay, whatever, I
want to talk about your your stageacting, what it kind of taught you
about performing in general, because weknow stage acting is very difficult. Yes,
well, I do stage and I'vedone also some screen acting. Um,
and I know that there's a bigdifference between the two. There's a

(21:52):
different way of landing your presence umand you know, obviously on stage you
have to kind of like be sortof believable and cute while also projecting,
whereas on screen you have to bekind of understated and you know, use
your facial expressions that audience is righthere, they're gonna read You're gonna be
like, I don't believe it.Yeah, it shows a weak oh for
sure. Yeah. So um.More than anything, what in terms of

(22:18):
adult films, I think the thingthat it mostly taught me was be camera
aware. Just be camera aware.If you're going to be showing your body
doing sexual things, you have tobe aware that a camera is there.
You can't put your hand a certainplace, even though it feels natural to
want to. I've been there havebeen so many times that I've been shooting
with somebody where they're just kind ofbeing in like they're they're getting in the

(22:41):
moment, which is great to do, but I would like just gently grab
their hands and move it behind likesomething. You know what I mean.
I've like I've not so gently beenlike take hand like yeah, like see
the shadow that you're casting. Yeah, I do want to ask you being

(23:03):
a therapist Internum, I want toknow what were some of the biggest things
you learned about our community? Whatis our community suffering from the most?
What are we what are we mostanxious about? How much time you got?
Right? Um? I mean thething? Yeah, I'll I'll try.
And I learned a lot through mytime in my LGBT psychology grad program

(23:27):
and working with counsel like counseling clients. I don't do it anymore, I
don't practice anymore. I decided thatthat wasn't the direction I wanted to go.
What's a therapist always there? Youknow? It certainly helped me hone
instincts that I think I already haddoing that program, But it also helped
me just be a lot more awarethat a lot of us have traumas that

(23:49):
are very unique, but all arekind of under the same umbrella, and
it's mostly about being seen and understoodand not left out and like a lot
of things, and a lot ofpeople have different tools with how to deal
with these traumas and these triggers thatcome up in a variety of situations and

(24:11):
scenarios. Especially because I work innightlife, I see it all the time
in very sneaky and weird ways.Some people are just better at being in
a social situation. Some people arejust being just better at being rejected or
at being left out of a certainsituation, or better at being like the
life of the party, or dealingwith their alcohol, dealing with their drugs.

(24:33):
That's also that too. It's likehow we kind of numb these feelings.
Everybody does it differently, but weall are connected in the fact that
we have these very specific traumas.And that goes back to what you were
saying about, like the younger generation. It's very interesting to see how some
of these younger gays have no ideahow to deal with some of these things,

(24:56):
like in a way that somebody bornlike a lot of gay guys I
know that we're born in the seventieshave a very specific way of dealing with
some of these things because when youwere born in the mid to late seventies,
you didn't really you knew that guyswere dying of aids, but you
didn't really have mentors or guides interestingto help you deal with that stuff.

(25:18):
And even coming out. I guessif you're born in the mid to late
seventies, coming out, your parentsjust kept thinking of AIDS AIDS as absolutely
that's what gay one. You're gonnadie was what they were told. Now
the kids who who are coming outat fourteen to fifteen, they're like,
oh, I'm so happy for you, or you know, or just get
the fuck out and moved to thecity, which they're like, okay,
fine, like ye already, yeahexactly, yeah, And like prepace this

(25:38):
magic pill, it's like, well, do you still take precautions? You
still be aware of being sexually active. I mean, this is just you
know, and the porn community isprobably the healthiest, most aware of sexually
and you know, the assumption whenI was growing up was that porn stars
are just oh god, they're justeverywhere. They're on drugs and you know,
jeez, we got tested every monthfor god. Yeah yeah. And

(26:02):
I also think, um, well, I don't know how you feel,
how you guys feel about this.Also, having strong social media presence is
like you do which is part ofbeing an adult film star is you can't
just film and then be done.You have to do the marketing, You
have to do the post and youhave to do all of that. But
I feel that social media has helped, especially the LGBTQ community, start talking
about mental health, talking about ourissues. But then I think now it's

(26:23):
gone to the extreme. It's like, well, if I put it all
out there, I'm gonna get somany likes and somebody so much interaction that
I'm gonna just gonna you know,it's like, well, my trauma is
bigger than yours, you know,And that's what I feel started to happen.
Yeah, and nobodys that wins aprize for that. You know,
it's proportional. Somebody that was raisedin a single parent home is going to

(26:44):
have a different trauma than somebody thatwas abused is going to have a different
trauma than somebody that grew up veryprivileged that all of a sudden was left
out on the street, or youknow, it's all proportional. And I
think we judge people by our owntrauma. Absolutely. I think it's I
think discounting anybody's trauma or opportunity tobe vulnerable is a thing of the past,
and that's what I'm trying to encouragein anybody. I feel like I

(27:07):
should be a little bit better aboutit. I haven't really um been as
good with my social media as maybeI could be um, but well,
just like I have a lot ofreasons to post, and every time I
do it, I'm like, ohI need a break, like be at
Nightlife or the podcast or like anyyou know, porn things that I want
to do. Um. Social mediaa lot. It's a lot of work.

(27:30):
It's like a full time It's likean energy vampire. It's like yeah,
like like yeah, but but youknow, I actually had this long
conversation with Johnathan Ness from Queer Eye. Yeah, and he was like name
dropky, No, No, hedon't. I don't care at all.
I don't think he'd mind at all, because he told me specifically, he
was like, whatever shame you haveabout posting, get rid of it.
People want to see. People wantto see and and be vulnerable and be

(27:53):
funny and be charming and show offlike do all of these things, and
they want to be part of yourlife. And this is the trend with
the adult community, which is whyfan sites have taken off so much.
Is like fans can see studio portit looks great, you can enjoy it,
but they want to feel intimate withyou guys on a different level.
That's why you know, your yourpodcast charts every single week everywhere on the

(28:15):
Apple charts. It's because your fansget to interact with us people. They
feel that they're part of your familybecause you are part of their family.
Yeah. Um, And there's apower in in in the adult community anyway.
So like in all my research,you know, a lot of the
interviews have to do with like yournewish to the industry and you know,
you become a fan favorite. Whatdo you think your keys to success are

(28:37):
that fans and studios and fan sites. There's some jealousy in the industry.
I will just you know, Iwas like this. I was like,
oh, yeah, well, youknow, here's my perform of the year.
We remember rocket Ship to start up. And it's not just being white,
which used to be the only thingthat you needed to be popular.
Now things have changed. Why also, don't just collap with only white people

(29:02):
too. So like some fans likeit's like is this a winter Wonderland?
Like is this Christmas? Because it'slike, wow, it's a snowman.
Oh my god, No, Ithink just um, I've always just said
yes and show up, So likeit's not it's not that hard to show
up to an appointment that you made. Why why do you think fans respond

(29:25):
to you so well? Because youhave become very popular in a very short
time. Mm. Shut, Idon't know. Do you got anything do
you want me to answer for?Yeah? I sure I have some ideas.
I call him a sex witch.He's good at it, like point
blank, Like he just knows howto engage with someone sexually and make it

(29:47):
look fun. Like he's good atit. You know what you do?
I mean, I have I Igenerally, I generally am having fun or
I'm trying to have more fun thanI am having and so it comes off
that I it looks like I'm havingmore fun than I am in some sometimes
I'm having a great time. Andso it's like I always say that,

(30:11):
like part of being a performer islike honing in on whatever it is that
you need to hone in on onyour scene partner or partners to get to
to make it enjoyable for yourself,Like whatever it is, find the one
fucking thing about them. If there'sonly one goddamn thing you and you hone

(30:33):
in on it. Looking at me, because sometimes I don't know who was
Cole Connor before the adult film World, Like, what were you involved with?
Um, well, so I wasa personal trainer. Um, I
did online coaching and personal training inperson. Um, I was working out

(30:53):
a lot, doing fitness stuff.But um that was like twelve years before
doing porn and it's I towards towardsthe last few years of it. I
was kind of looking for a wayout. I was kind of it kind
of staled on me, like Iwas kind of bored. Then COVID happened,

(31:14):
and then it was just online coaching, and then I was really bored
and I was like, um,maybe we need to figure Like it just
kind of happened where somebody suggested Ihad an only fans and I was like,
why don't I have an only fans, let's just do it. So
and then it just all kind oflike snowballed into like me collaboring with people

(31:36):
and then like it just my Twitterwent off. And was it odd like
filming your first only fancy or wasit just like oh this is natural that
yeah. In in our episode thatcomes out tomorrow where Steve Cruise is featured,
Um, that's the first thing hesays about Cole is that he was
a natural like East Well, youknow from stage work. If you have

(31:57):
to work with the stage, you'relike, oh, fire them, and
and I've done stage and yeah anduh uh camera acting and like improv and
sketch comedy. I think improv isis so important, especially if you're podcasting,
because you just never know where it'sgoing to go. And I think
improv builds a confidence no matter whatyou look like, who you are,

(32:19):
where you come from, improv justbuilds his confidence. Yeah, um,
do you sing? Were you likea musical theater? I did? I
did some musicals. I would catchyou as the music man I was.
I was a little Patrick and mame. Of course you were my my freshman.
Ye, now your name there young? Did you do musical theater?

(32:42):
I never did musical theater. Iwish I watched a lot of musicals.
Um, when I actually went tothe the when I was a teenager,
I went to the least Rossberg TheaterInstitute and we had a couple of musical
moments. Um. It's so funnythat the least Rosberg Theater and so it
was just like two blocks from Fubar, which is like where you know,
welcome. Yeah, yeah, soto go do that at like you know

(33:04):
at at like thirteen fourteen, andnow as an adult be like I remember
this place. Um, but yeah, I was never in musical theater.
I wish I was. That soundsfun. Well you can, yeah,
because you can say, I mean, Adam's somebody that is just good at
everything creative you can you can possiblyimagine one time we were like, you
came over. This is before pornor my porn. You came over.

(33:25):
I had bought some canvases and somepaint. It's just not mean, like
snog some weed and paint, andthen and mine looks like shit. I'm
like, I'm like, I don'teven know what I'm doing, and here
like he hasn't. I still haveit, But that's so cute. He
does still have it, and itmakes me happy every time I see it
in this place. I do havean idea that like, whatever you put

(33:46):
your mind to, you just like, Okay, we're gonna do the f
out of it. And then sometimesyeah, yeah, I wish I and
I guess I get very competitive withmyself and like, sometimes wish I was
a little more focused at certain things. Um, but yeah, if there's
something that interests me in that moment, I will focus and zero in on
it and then like once it's done, I'm like, Okay, well that's

(34:07):
done, and now I move onto and then I move on to the
next. I'm not sure that's thebest way to do it, but I'm
learning learning right or wrong. Andobviously both of you had such a success.
Um. Not to bring up anotherhot topic, but Cole Connor being
a white man in in porn adamcoming from an ethnic background. You know,

(34:28):
there's this whole conversation lately about racialrepresentation in porn. How it's gotten
better? Is it? Is itnow focused on one ethnicity over the other,
being a person of color, andI anybody who's not white to me
is a person of color. Seeingsomething like Cole come in, it's like,
okay, exclusive now awards blah blahblah blah blah. It's harder.

(34:49):
And this is this is just fact. It's harder for a person of color
to make a name in the adultfilm industry. Do you feel that,
Um, I feel that, Yes, it certainly. I think it's changed
a lot and I would never Oh, this is really complicated, especially because

(35:10):
we're here to sell the team another. I feel like and and for me,
personally. Also, I feel likeI kind of like straddle this line
where I am definitely I identify asa person of color, but I make
jokes about being like vaguely of MiddleEastern descent, which I can see too,
you know what I mean. LikeI've had the funny thing is I
have white friends sometimes will call mewhite, but POC people will refer to

(35:35):
me as POC. So it's like, so and anytime a white friend of
mine says that, I'm like,wait a minute, hold on, you
can't say that to me because Ihave way more melanie than you. And
I've been called a terrorist before youhave nuts, you know what I mean.
So, Like, it's in momentslike that where I feel like it
gets a little weird. I wouldnever, though, in this day and
age, if I see a whiteperson make it in the industry, be

(36:00):
like, it's because you're white.I don't. I am not that sensitive,
yes, of course, but thething is, like, look at
it, like especially I started withRaging Stallion Studios, and I was reminded
of this fact only recently that whenthey interviewed performers who were just starting out

(36:21):
back in twenty thirteen, when Igot started totally different, So we can't
fault it really because it was justa different time. You can talk shit
about it and say it's weird,but at the time and learned from it
as they have, as we allhave. But they would actually say in
the interview process, do you haveany preferences in terms of who you would

(36:43):
work with? White? Black,Hispanic? You know what I mean,
Like they actually asked that question.They would like, have a checkbox.
I don't remember. I don't rememberexactly. I don't want to like get
get myself in trouble by saying that, but I do I know that Race
Cooper, for example, kind ofpointed out recently that that was something that
was asked of performers back in theday. This was normal, and I've
heard this from from all this Yeah, this was normal. Obviously that has

(37:07):
changed. I think Raging Stallion hasbeen really good about being inclusive and being
like more diverse in their casting.Um it's because the audiences have demanded it.
Yeah, Like the last time thatI worked with Raging Stallion um Or
actually I think it was Naked Sword, but they're under the Falcon media.
I remember working on Scared Stiff too, which was so good. Yeah,

(37:31):
Oh my god, it was somuch fun. I want an award for
it and everything. I'm just gonnasay that Best Supporting Actors straight up gay
porn Awards, Thank you. Um. But I remember when they posted a
picture of like the ten cast members. It was me and Brock Banks and
eight white guys. Yeah, anda lot of people decided to be like,

(37:54):
wow, I can't believe it.Like there was one performer in particular
who was like, I can't believein twenty nineteen, you're still posting pictures
of cast that look like this.And on one hand, I wanted to
be like, hold on, that'snot fair because I'm there and Rock Banks
is there. So I felt verylike, like, on one hand,
I felt like betrayed a little bit. I was like, you can't be

(38:15):
like this is not a diverse enoughcast when I'm in that cast. But
then I'm also like, I'm nota black performer who would see that?
So I don't know what they feellike when they see that, when they're
like, wow, there's literally notone black person in this cast. I
think companies like Falcon have taken thatkind of criticism and been like, clearly,

(38:37):
we need to do better and theyare right, and I think and
also sometimes they can look like they'vefallen short because things happen. People people
back out last minute, people thatdon't pass tests for sure, and they
have to go. It's somebody thatcan replace them immediately because the productions in
production, like they can't just addon a day like three weeks later.

(39:00):
So um, and that's happened instuff that I've been in and I'm like,
oh, really this is like thisis and also this is this is
where it kind of like circles aroundtoo, where it gets kind of weird
where you don't want to like beover sensitive to these things because how weird
would it be if a person ofcolor performer backs out because of whatever reason

(39:22):
and you're like, oh, weneed a person of color performer, quick,
find one on the phone. Likethat gets weird. But there is
also that do we have this check? Do we have this checked? And
we're seeing this now at awards.It's like, you know, there used
to be a category for best BlackPerformer and best Latin Performer. I mean
this was the adult industry. Wetalked about that with Andre Donovan and the
best Ethnic Scene. So he feltconflicted about like he's like, he's like

(39:45):
that was and yeah, yeah,how it was like a chance for them
to win an award that would usuallygo to a white person. It was
like and then it was just gone, well, you know, and and
the person who made us think aboutit was a white performer. Did you
know about this? Oh? Yeah, So when The Gay Ends took a

(40:06):
hiatus for a few years, andwhen they came back, they included all
the former categories and one of themwas Best Ethnic Scene, And like here
am I am as a POC performer. I'm like, oh my god,
did I get Did I get nominated? That was my reaction. But then
a white performer was like, thisis not okay in this day and age.
I am withdrawing myself from being eligiblefor nominations because this is an outrage

(40:31):
some juicy stuff. Yeah yeah,and it was very It was actually really
validating to talk to Andre during ourepisode because he said the same thing.
He was like, he was like, wait a minute, Like, I
wasn't offended. I was looking formy nomination and I think he actually got
nominated that year. And the Gaviens, in response to this outrage, decided

(40:53):
to just combine all the duo scenenominations together, and so for Andre he
was like, oh, well,I guess I'm not winning this one then,
So it's it's a weird fine line, I guess where we just kind
of have to. Like it's likethis weird cyclical thing. I hate the

(41:13):
word woke. I hate it.I think it is so over It's like
that word moist. You hear ityour psycho well, especially because it becomes
so it's gotten so overused by theright wing, like and woke, let's
not use them for a while.And like, does me caring about equal
rights make me woke? No,it makes me human. Yeah, it's
a dumb word. But like,but at the same time, I feel

(41:35):
like I understand when you see somethinglike that controversy, it's someone maybe taking
the woke thing a little too far, and then all of a sudden,
it's like now we've kind of circledaround where it's like, wait, is
there a two woke? But Ithink I think, well, I think
of wok is just as like understandingdifferent privileges and like understanding that like a

(41:59):
privilege is just something you never hadto think about, of course, and
like and understanding that because like thatawareness. So it's human, right,
I know. So you're awoken too, yes, and awareness that you that
you have never had to think about. I think that word started out with
good intentions, because who doesn't wantto be woke? What do you want

(42:20):
to be asleep? You know whatI mean? Like, I get it,
but somebody sometimes I want to beBut to me, that ternament somebody
that learned and and and changed fromit, such as my grandma used to
use the most offensive terms. Yeah, she was the sweetest, nicest person.
It had nothing to do with racism. It's just that's what she was

(42:42):
taught until you say this is notokay. Let's have a conversation in a
friendly way. Yeah, and thenwe learn. Did she learn? Because
that's a that's that's a symptom.I think of being older is like you
don't the older. A lot ofpeople the older they get, they don't
like being told that something they're doingis not okay by today's standard. Like
I don't want to be told Ihave to do TikTok. I'm like,

(43:04):
I'm doing TikTok. Meanwhile, neitherof us do TikTok. Ever, you
guys are gonna have to go toTikTok. No, it's cold cold?
Should we TikTok? Do we haveto do it? Yeah? I told
you about my TikTok idea. Didyou don't watch watch Yes, coming soon

(43:25):
on TikTok, TikTok by the TikTok'scall that you're duo. Oh doc,
TikTok Okay, I want to doa hot topic with you guys. Do
it? Madonna? Are we allowedto talk about her face? Is it
ageism? Oh? Was there more? I thought there was? Yeah,
I thought it was a check.I thought it was well no, because

(43:46):
you could put in agism. Youcould say it's not you know, supporting
women in whatever. Okay, Thething is, I think there's I think
there's a balance. We can allacknowledge that she's gotten a little kookie,
but we don't have to zero inso specifically. Yes, yes, she's
always been cooky and now she's she'sa button pusher. See when I'm sixty

(44:09):
four. By the way, pleasedon't look like that. That's misogynist.
But here's the thing. It's like, if you say, god, she
looked terrible. Um, so yeah, I think that some of the online
criticism has gone a little farm andalso especially because like that photo of her

(44:30):
at the Grammys was totally doctored tomake her look insane. But that's not
the only time that we've seen herthat she looks not like I mean,
see, I don't really know becauseall her Instagram videos she's filtered them to
death. The fact is, listen, all our moms are a little weird.
She's like pop culture's mom. Solike, yeah, she's weird,

(44:52):
but have some fucking respect. It'sMadonna, all right, leave her alone.
Yeah she's just I mean, it'sshe's just reinventing herself yet another Always
I love her. I bought tickets, I'm going to see the show.
I don't I don't care, likeI don't think anybody's refuting like what she's
done in the industry. But butwe can't say, like, I don't,

(45:12):
I don't know. I would neversay I would never be like,
oh fuck, looks like whatever.Like, but we're all thinking she looks
she looks crazy, and that's whatsomebody said. It's like, we're not
commenting on feminism, we're not onages. She looks freakish. She is,
and it's not just the I'm along time Madonna fan and and and

(45:34):
and the thing is, it's notjust about the facial stuff, like like
everyone wants to do plastic surgery intheir own way, and different people look
weird whatever. She also like dressesthe way she does, and like,
there is this part of me that'slike, no, why don't you do
Ray of Light Part two? Whydon't you blow my mind with like how
you've come to terms with being thismid sixties mother like she But she won't.

(45:59):
She's like, I'm a party girlforever, so like I have to
be like, Okay, I acceptyou, Madonna. You do it how
you do it? So I haveto get over my ship and I do.
And people have put her down onsocial media for the last year.
In fact is she's still sold outalmost all of her concert of course,
it's okay, we can't stand her, We're gonna buy her ticket. She

(46:21):
understands that as long as people aretalking about you, it doesn't matter what
they're saying. Yeah, that will, that will, it's me. It's
that it's sales or up. Yeah, all right, So let's talk about
Sorry for asking, how did youguys meet in the first place? We
met? Um? Are you changingyour story as you're looking at each other.

(46:42):
No, I think I remember.I think we know we like the
first thing that he remembers of meetingme as a different story than I have.
I love this kind of stuff.But then I remember I was like,
oh, yes, I do rememberyour story before my story. How
yeah, I just didn't put ittogether that it was like the same person
because it's in different cities. Onewas in LA when it was in San

(47:05):
Francisco. Oh yeah, yeah,yeah, right, the goddamn story.
Well, I I mean, obviouslyI saw his Instagram and I was like,
who is this adorable, adorable cutiewith this beautiful body and this cute
s smile, And like I thinkI might have even like written to him
to be like hey hey, butlike I don't think, you know,
obviously he must have gotten tons ofmessages and just ignored mine. Oh,

(47:28):
like you don't get tons of messages. I mean, you know, we
focus more on the ones who whowe're looking at, not ourselves. Um.
But I remember seeing him out ata party and I was introduced to
him by another friend and I justthought he was so adorable, and we
like we chit chatted a little bitand then and then what was the next
thing in San Francisco did Yeah,but you don't remember meeting him. I

(47:51):
remember, I remember, but likethe first when we were talking about where
we met, someone like somebody hasasked us this question before, and I
was like, oh, like SanFrancisco Pride, Um, what's that party,
Mama, I don't know. Itwas like Harvey's by the way,

(48:13):
Yeah, I know San Francisco people. I can't believe that I had.
I heard a really good read aboutthat, by the way, Like a
lot of people, a lot ofpeople are like, oh, Harvey's closed,
it's an institution or whatever. Isaw. There was this one dude
who's a chef in San Francisco whoposted, calmed down Mary's, you could
go to Costco and get the sameshit. I mean, that's true,
but it was Harvey's, you know, like twin Peaks. Yeah, you

(48:35):
know, go to Costcos to getyour bots a realistic I love you Harvey's.
I'm sorry, rest in peace.Um. Yeah, it was just
at a Pride party and I wasin town. I was staying with a
couple of friends that here mutual friends, so uh and that's that's kind of
where. And then back in Lawe started hanging out more. Yeah,

(48:58):
I I had moved back to LAand then we kind of I don't remember
when we started hanging out, butit was just like all of a sudden,
he was just one of my people. Like I. It was like
maybe twenty sixteen, twenty seven,around when Summer tramp started. Yeah,
oh that makes sense. Yeah.So the first time, like you guys
hung out, was it physical?Was it that? And then it blossomed
into a friendship or there's a weirdsilence because we've had sex. We've had

(49:24):
sex like a handful of times,and like a lot of times other people
were there. I don't remember ifyou like in an wait, did we
ever have sex just you and me? This is what no. I wanted
to ever had sex without anybody elsethere? Oh my god, I think

(49:46):
you're right. No. But youdid have a crush on him first,
like in terms of like yeah,but he also had a boyfriend, and
it was like did now they cameup to me at this party together who
I'm gloyfriends? There was no boyfriends? Who are you talking about? You

(50:07):
know? Michael? Yeah? Andhe didn't hear right now it was like
a daddy issues or uh oh,I think I know what you're talking about,
like lost globos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, we were
friends by then. No, Ithink that's that's the first time I remember.

(50:28):
See, maybe this is your memoryof it where you're like, well,
I don't want to get too closebecause that guy's got a boyfriend me
while I'm like, hey, myboyfriend, he's just like a good friends
drunk maybe maybe so so blurry blurryfacts, blurry on the fact. Sorry,
but I think, but I don'tcare, Like I don't care anymore.

(50:49):
No, I do, because Ithink this is very funny about LA
friendships and relationships. You know whatcan start up something of Ye. I
think what it speaks to is thatwe're kindred spirits. I think we very
quickly became close, and that's whythe details are fuzzy, because it's I
feel like we've been closed since thebeginning, you know what I mean.
So what was it? Because weall make friends here in LA, and

(51:12):
I was like, oh, youknow, i'll see him at the bar,
at a party. Whatever. Whenwas it click that you're like,
oh, this is this is areal friendship. Was there an instance that
something was like, oh, wellhe's a real friend. I remember one
moment. There was one moment wherewe were about to go somewhere and he
came to my house. I thinkI posted on my Instagram. I was
just like getting ready in my bedroomand he was like in the doorway of

(51:36):
my bedroom, just all smiley,unadorable. And I took a picture of
him, and I posted on myInstagram and the caption was, get you
a puppy who looks this happy tosee you? And it was like because
he was just so smiley, unadorable, and I was like, I'm so
lucky that I found this little bastardjust so cute. That's my memory.
That's my memory. It's okay ifyou don't have now. I I just

(52:00):
I guess it was more. Iguess I gradual is the wrong word for
it. But it was like itjust kind of happened, and I didn't
realize a moment when it did.But I like, we've been through I've
seen him break up with people,I've he's seen me break We've yeah,

(52:22):
we've just always kind of been therefor each other. So it's like it's
always you know, you don't haveI don't have like a ton of people
that I can say that about thisis La. Making friends is almost impossible,
making real friends. Yeah, it'sit's it's it's very hard. Um,
So I want to know where thespark you guys are gonna have a

(52:44):
moment. I mean, I feellike this is all moments right now I'm
getting I'm like a little drunk andreal emotional. So I want to know
doing a podcast now that you guysare in season two, I'm sorry for
podcast. Um, now you realizewhat it takes to be a podcaster.
It's not just like, oh,we're so funny together, we should do

(53:06):
a podcast because how many people havecome up to you now that you guys
have this successful podcast, Like Ishould have a podcast too. When you're
like that, you don't even knowa lot. I like, there are
a lot of things that you shouldhave before you should do a bad time,
money everything, personality, charm smartspersonally might be number one place.

(53:30):
Um, what was the inspiration forSorry for asking? And what is the
podcast all about? Well? We, I mean like you and I were
both I think it was ad hotdog when we and we were like what
are you want to like? Andyou I had been thinking about doing a

(53:52):
podcast, and I had no ideawhere to start, like even like what
microphone to get and like what platformyou even like sign up on? And
I'm like, you said to methat you were thinking about doing a podcast.
I'm like, I'm thinking of doinga podcast. I have just don't
know what I'm doing. You're like, oh, well, I have a
friend that is like telling me whatto do to start it. I'm like,

(54:15):
I'm like, I think I would. I think it would be better
for me to do it with someoneas opposed to me doing it alone,
because it would like keep me accountablefor actually doing the things that I want
to do. Yeah, And I'mlike, if I let myself down,
this is with anything. If Iif I just only have myself to let
down, I'll let myself down.If I have if it's you that I'm

(54:38):
letting down, I won't right.So yeah, it was it was.
It was something that I especially becauseyou know, when I got into porn,
I was still in my grad programand I knew I had in school.
I was approached while I was inschool. Yeah, and I had
this kind of like long term planwith it that I was like, I
know, I want to do somethingbigger with it. I wasn't sure if
it was gonna be a book.I wrote a blog for a little while,

(55:00):
but I remember thinking about the podcast, and it was when I brought
it up with Cole where like,once we started talking about it, I
kind of I think it clicked forboth of us, where we both in
that conversation were like, oh,this will be better if we do this
together. And I know now fora fact that neither of us would have
gotten it off the ground without theother. My Like, I speak very

(55:22):
much for myself when I said this, I'm not very good with follow through,
and like it's really true. It'strue. Yeah, I know I
do a lot of stuff, butbut sometimes follow through it. I'm gonna
follow through, but truly, truly, I think that there was no way
I was going to do it bymyself. So it was like once I

(55:44):
was like, once we had thisconversation, it was like, oh,
and then all of a sudden,it just kind of started happening. Like
we did a few practice episodes.We we did a lot of practice episodes,
and I was like, oh,maybe I'll throw in some outtakes from
the practice episodes, but I don'tthink we're gonna do that. I listened
to some of them and I'm like, yeah, they're cute, but I'm
not going to edit that ship.So what is the podcast about? Uh,

(56:08):
it's you know, we talk abouta lot of stuff about sexuality and
um, working in porn, creatingporn, consuming it. Yeah, what
kind of stuff, because I thinkthe kind of what you're what what turns
you on in adulthood is very craftedin your in your formative year. Absolutely,

(56:34):
the first things, the first thingsthat you see sexually, look at
our backgrounds. We're to talk aboutkaki pants, but that's a huge part
of yeah, yeah, um,so I don't know, that's what we
just a lot of it is justus having fun talking about like what is

(56:55):
fun and stupid and sexy. I'mgonna give a little critique if you don't
mind. It's not just about whatI love about it is. It's so
welcoming. So people think, oh, you know, it's two porn stars,
so it's going to be sex.Sex, sex. It's part of
that, but it's also part ofeveryday life. We should be laughing about
sex, we should be talking aboutsex. We should have been enjoying sex.
We should be making sex part ofeveryday life. That's why we shouldn't.

(57:16):
I think that's what your podcast isdoing. It's destigmatizing this idea of
sex is bad from an Armenian,from a Catholic culture, from the Jewish.
Yeah, everybody watches porn. Idon't care. The top Republican Marjie
Taylor Green probably right now is lookingup like scissoring, like you know what
I mean. When we talked aboutwhen we were talking about what we wanted
it to be, like if wewere creating a mission statement, we were

(57:39):
like, we definitely want to destigmatizelike this notion that like porn is bad
or uh, let's just start withthe fact that literally everybody watches porn.
Yeah, everybody has seen porn inin their life. Yeah, maybe not
Stevie Wonder, but like other peoplehave. Yeah, yeah, I think

(57:59):
that that. Yeah, talking aboutthe creation as well as the consumption,
like that's where it kind of likelevels the playing field a little bit.
It's like because yeah, not everybodycreates porn, but everybody consumes it.
So that is kind of what bringsus on the level of a lot of
our listeners. And that's why Ithink a lot of our listeners, a
lot of the people I've spoken towho listen to it. They they talk

(58:22):
about how relatable it is and andI love that. I think that's so
cool. And also the thing thatmakes me so happy is that a lot
of times our listeners who's talk tome say that one of the things that
draws them to it is just ourrapport. In general, I think Cole
and I are just really good atshooting the shit with each other. We
have good chemistry just as humans thatyou know, some people, how many

(58:44):
followers do you have? How manyfollowers? Great? Oh my god.
Yeah. And the thing is becauseCole and I generally, in like the
years that we've been friends, wemake each other laugh. Like we make
each other laugh. We're also goodgetting deep but not too deep, like
we And and that was kind ofwhat I wanted to do, was like
I didn't want it to just befluff. I didn't want it to I

(59:06):
didn't want it to just be likecool. Porn is fun, Okay,
who would you rather fuck? Blahblah blah or blah blah blah like which
is still a part of it,which is still yes, And that's fun
too, and we do that aswell. But it's also like we get
into you know, like we wereeven on the drive over here, we
were talking about like what we weregoing to talk about next, and it
was like we kind of even itwasn't it was a totally I don't even

(59:27):
know if you realize it was atotal accident. We like talk about what
were we like fell into this conversationabout douching. It was just like it
was just by accident. We justkind of like and I and we both
kind of listening. We both stoppedand we were like, oh my god,
wait, we should stop talking aboutthis because this is perfect for the
podcast. Like and I was like, hold on, I'm gonna get my
notes app out and talk about whatwe should talk about. It should be

(59:50):
talked about, absolutely because guess whatpeople everybody douches. Everybody does and sometimes
not. Yeah, but you know, but it's like fun that we can
talk about this. Like my momwas part of my you know, I
didn't even have the birds and beesconversation with straight people, much less gay
people. Now she knows about sex. We have conversation about sex because she

(01:00:14):
can have fun with it. Shelistens to your podcast and it's just part
of it. It's like for themoms. But why not? And how
about and how about single moms thatnever were to focus on their own sexuality
because they were busy raising their kids. Yeah, you know, and it's
like, yeah, we can talkabout sex. I can be older and
still sex. Sex is fine.It's fun and its sure and a great

(01:00:37):
way to meet friends. Absolutely,look at us. Um, you guys
filmed a scene recently. I haven'twatched it two twenty two times. We're
gonna play it. No, justkidding. No, it's a certain group
scene in a PG thirteen way.It was funny to see you guys next
to each other. But now wedid we got in there obviously I didn't

(01:01:00):
watch that. You just saw thetrailer. Okay, okay, now we
both he is that a weird cart? Did you guys drive there together?
No? Not this time. Yes, that's putting it like. It was
literally the smallest hotel. It wasprobably smaller than this room. It was

(01:01:22):
rom with like a bathroom. Canyou imagine this room full of ten guys
out of cameraman, two beds.Yes, it was like white Lotus the
PBS version. Yeah, Oh mygod, now that I think about it,
we should repost that scene with themusic with white Lotus white load ass

(01:01:45):
in the white loads. There werecertainly not enough people of color we could
bring that up. I'm surprised ithasn't been enough, but that's one of
those cases we I think it alsowasn't home after that scene, I'll be
like, that was me, Yeah, that was you? Yeah, that
was that? Wait was that you? Okay? So I want to address

(01:02:08):
some of the fan questions we gotCole. You hit headlines when you were
attacked in Hollywood by a group ofmen. All of the headlines read adult
film star, and then we haveWhat I love, Number one is that
you were so open about sharing this, which I know when trauma happens to
us, we don't always share.And it's not necessarily for you, and

(01:02:30):
it should be about you, butit's for what people can learn from this
process. Thank you for sharing this. By the way, thank you for
sharing the interviews. I cannot imagine. I've never gone through anything like that,
so I can't say I, ohgod, you know, I can
imagine. You can never imagine inmy entire life being attacked in our private

(01:02:52):
bubble. We feel that we're safehere in La the factors that we're not,
and we don't know why people reactthe way that they do. I
want to know what got through thatprocess? Was it a personal mantraum?
How you overcame, because like wetalk about trauma, a lot of people
from our community stuff for trauma andthey need to hear how we can work

(01:03:12):
through it. So if you don'tmind sharing kind of that, like this
is how I got through through it. I don't know if it was like
one thing, but I mean Ijust I think staying positive about it and
actually sharing it and getting all thepositive responses about it was really was really

(01:03:37):
helpful in my getting over all ofthat. And like I still I still
dealt with it for all of lastyear up until I mean, it's never
gonna go. I still recover.I mean I had I tore, I
ruptured both both hamstring tendons on bothlegs and that that I just got fixed

(01:03:59):
in September in October six weeks apart, so there was three months where I
was on crutches and not working.What's funny is people like I've been accused
of like milking it out there.I've been accused of milking it as they're

(01:04:19):
like, well, he clearly hasn'tworked. I'm like, yeah, dumb
ass, because I made it looklike I didn't disappear because I dripped fed
my content. That's what as aperformer. So like there was time five
months of last year I couldn't work, I couldn't filmastating to anybody, right,

(01:04:42):
Um, so it was just notanyway. Um, there were there
were a couple of people who werereally cruel and not very understanding and not
very kind to what Coal was goingthrough, and they were very vocal about
it on their twitters and very unkind, and honestly, I don't feel like
it landed the way they thought itwould. I think they thought they were

(01:05:05):
going to get like this mob ofpeople to talk shit, and they didn't.
Nobody did. Nobody did. Everybodywas on Coal side. And that's
exactly That's disgusting. That's true though, That's what I thought. It was
disgusting. It was really unfair.I think, um, he squared it
away with a couple of them.Maybe not with one of them, um,

(01:05:27):
but but I'm just really glad thatwhatever they were trying to do didn't
work. People everybody that I knowshowed up in your support, and I'm
just really glad to hear that yeah, and I'm like, I try to
think about like the good things thatcame out of it, Like, had

(01:05:49):
I had I been, had Inot had all this time to do to
focus on our podcast and put youknow, put real time into it um
and effort. If I had beenrunning around filming run like going out of
town and like shooting studio scenes allover the place, maybe I would have

(01:06:11):
been like, you know what,I'm just too busy to do this podcast
with you, Adam, Like maybemaybe we'll like circle back around. But
like, and I'm like, butthis has been super therapeutic and helpful for
me in this in the whole processof last year. Well, look how
many people you're touching. For meto finally have a conversation about sex with

(01:06:34):
my mom, I mean that's hugetoo, you know, and we were
part of that. That's amazing,not as big a part as I would
like. When it's like that whitelotus white loads so cool, so and
and then then we'll finish this conversationwhere I really appreciate you you're sharing this

(01:06:54):
and this is the kind of realitythat we're all dealing with. Um.
This came from a porn star sayingthat all of the headlines read adult filmstar
dot dot dot gets attacked. Didit bother you that that was the leading
headline? That every headline said adultfilm star? And this comes from a
fellow porn star, Mum, Idon't know. I think I I wanted

(01:07:19):
it, uh, I mean peopleasked me as an adult film star about
it, like not not everybody knewmy real name and my like real persona,
so like, and that that wasjust that was the way to get
I wanted more. I did wantpeople to know that it happened, because

(01:07:43):
like I didn't I've always felt safesafe in LA. I was going to
an after hours and like maybe it'snot maybe don't go back to yourself.
We feel safe, you know.Yeah. But I mean like I ran
back to my car, to myfriend's car to get my idea out of
it that I left in the seatand but and I went by myself,

(01:08:04):
like I could have easily, Icould have had a friend come with me.
I didn't realize I didn't have myidea until we got to the door.
I was like, oh shit,I left it and like gave me
as keys. I ran back bymyself, thinking I was I was like
texting them I'm like, let's waitby the door so I don't have to
find you when I get back,and like it was just like we gotta

(01:08:28):
watch out for each other and beaware and like just know that things aren't
as safe as you want them tobe. Yeah, thank you, all
right, sorry for asking. Yes, oh, I was just saying and
and and let me also say,as someone who was with him through a

(01:08:49):
lot of this process, he handledhimself with such humor and such grace and
there was never a woe is meattitude about any of it. And I
just think you're inspiring Cole. Itwas a really shitty thing that you went
through and you handled it like afucking pro. Well, thank you.

(01:09:10):
Amazing, that's true. M hmm, thank you. Okay, sorry for
asking. I want to know whatyou've learned from each other from doing the
podcast, not in terms of likeI learned this about him, but like
I've learned this. I have learnedto try to talk slowly so that I

(01:09:35):
can finish a sentence without saying uhor like or all of this. It's
not a weird skill. The firsttwo years of podcasting was all, uh,
why don't I sell this like asa remix? It's difficult, I
say, um, and like waymore than i'd like to it. You
haven't said it at all. Yeah, well, maybe I've learned. Maybe

(01:09:55):
that's what podcasting has done for Ido that. I don't usually take a
podcast us on like four vodkas,um ditto. By the way, maybe
that's a trick. Maybe we shoulddrink more before yours is golden the way.
Well, yeah, um, Ihave learned about about Cole that he

(01:10:20):
is well, I already knew he'svery funny, but I also think that
it's great how he drifts. Amutual friend of ours used that word to
describe it recently, that he drifts. You you drift? What does that
mean? It's a it's a veryspecific way that he delivers um information when

(01:10:43):
he's not quite able to grab it. That's why I'm like, I have
to slow down and think about sothat people are hanging on every word.
But that's Kentucky Southern man. Thething is, the thing is in person
or maybe even live, it's reallyengaging and very charming. But in terms

(01:11:03):
of like an audio situation when I'mlistening to because I do the editing usually,
uh, and I know I'm alittle bit of a Karen about that.
Sorry, thank you, I don'tknow it says also like to hear
the cracks and sparks and the momentthat don't go right. Yeah, to
an extent, I'm an audience memberas well, and I just feel like

(01:11:25):
certain things. You can watch thevideo for all the craps, yes,
for the crash, Yeah, watchthe video for all the crafts and more.
The first episode of season two,we kept that moment because it was
so mad. It was so likeall the defenses down, We're like the
video was the videos? Yes,yes, yes, we're all human.
Yeah, how's that could coming?How's that? Yeah? I kept that.

(01:11:48):
I kept that in the audio portion. I just truncated a little bit.
But it's so endearing. But I'llget a text with like I think
I heard a ghost. Yeah Iheard Sorry. Sorry, Like like I
said, when I vote no,he's making a joke. He's making fun
of me, which I deserve,and I recognize that, but like,

(01:12:11):
but that's that's me. That's anexample of me focusing in on the things
that I care about. And that'swhy it's like it's funny because like stuff,
yes, that's correct, Yeah,everything, And I feel like it's
really I think it's really cute.Like for example, Cole took care of
all of the posting, all ofthe accounts, like he did all that
stuff, like he did everything.I did more of the editing and the

(01:12:35):
creative and I was just like Iknew there was like a certain way I
wanted to sound. So so that'swhy, Like there were certain times when
I would realize when I'd be likeCole. I would ask Cole a question
about something and he'd be like,so this, um, this, uh,
this this scene that we wants.Um, this this scene that I
wants. Did I I had thisthing that with this person and this this

(01:12:58):
scene and be like, oh mygod, right this scene was directed by
Steven. That's the final result.It was a little bit something like that
where I'd be like, wow,there's been like fifteen seconds and no information
has been delivered at all. SoI'm just gonna try and find a way
with my ocd A. This iswhat happens in podcasting Like this is it's

(01:13:23):
funny because we both I feel likeyou're learning this like kind of freedom,
but you're also learning like, okay, we also have a product that needs
to be this is the thing.I think I'm loosening up and he's tightening
thing. We are a video atmight load us. We weren't tightening anything

(01:13:43):
to tell you. In the trailer, I saw you guys next to each
other. I swear it was almostlike we can't know, you know what
it is, and we can't helpbut giggle. I think that's always been
our relationship. And I'm just saying, if you can laugh with your partner
in bed, you're gonna have thebest text ever. It was like all
the things where all these things werehappening around us, and we probably looked.

(01:14:05):
I think we talked with each other. Yea, and I came twice.
I came zero, by the way, But then he added the audio,
so all you heard was like,thank you, no sex switch sex
switch title remains. He was ableto come twice in that scene. Okay,

(01:14:27):
So I was okay. PG thirteen, I'm sorry, what's not now?
Sorry? No? No, Athirteen year old can say come well
now they are well sorry everybody.So I was finished, clim what have
you learned about yourself from podcasting?Then? I guess I can be a
little more of a Karen than Ithought. No, no, no,

(01:14:50):
but I mean in terms of likesometimes when we sit and talk, it's
like, oh, I never thoughtI felt that way. I never thought
about this until I finally said,don't uh hmmm, I don't know.
I feel like I have pretty strong, a pretty strong grasp of where I
stand on a lot of issues andyeah and all that. But I mean

(01:15:12):
in terms of you as a person, is like preparing them for the podcast
and like, oh, I've learnedthis about myself. Yeah, I think,
I said, I said, mine. I think I realized. The
thing is I have a very specifictype of OCD, and when it shows
up, I am able to laughat myself totally. And I think that
it I like to I like tokind of put my OCD into places that

(01:15:34):
makes sense and yield positive results.So thank you Alexander for being patient with
me. Sometimes I've probably been alittle kookie with what some of my text
messages Tony you two. Thank youso much. You really mostly because I
love what we do and I justwant it to be wonderful and product.

(01:15:56):
It's my product, and I wantedto reach people and I love doing it
with coal, and so that's me. That's what I've learned about myself.
I love that it's given me alittle challenge to try to be more direct
in what I'm trying to say andtry and just like finish the thought end
of story, like like get itout, like as I haven't had to

(01:16:18):
like rush through I haven't had torush through a thought. Tell sometimes I'll
be like Chlismos versions. But yeah, I mean, like nobody ever like
forces you to finish your goddamn storyright. And then but you're like we're
on a time right, what hasbeen one of your favorite topics that you've

(01:16:42):
talked about on your podcast or afavorite guest or wait do we have to
talk PG? Thirteen? I meanyou can word it in thirteen? Got
it? Thank you for giving usthat warning this time. I mean it
can be rated R. But like, yeah, you can say whatever you
want, just keep in mind,Karen, calm down. Yeah, okay,
okay, sorry, I'm just trying. I'm just trying to do this

(01:17:04):
correctly. That's all right, there'sno correct there's no Um favorite, I
don't know about favorite. This ison the Rocks after Dark. Say whatever
you want? Oh perfect, Okay, Um you have a favorite. I
feel like I feel like I've listenedto I've re listened to our episodes before,
and I feel like it seemed likeone that does I would episode such

(01:17:26):
a great time. I really lovedI really loved our one that comes out
tomorrow with Steve Bruce. Yeah,that was amazing. You know, he
went from performer to din We talkabout all of that and how he got
into directing and and really like hissense of uh purpose in in the world,

(01:17:53):
in the world and may and likesetting an example a good example for
other people that will follow him.So that was great. I loved our
Drew Droguie episode so much fun.That was so fun show. Yeah,
he didn't have as much fun onour show that he did on your show.
Oh really. Yeah, And Ireally like and I really liked that

(01:18:14):
the Andrea Donovan one because I thoughtthat was important to talk about inclusion and
for sure, and I like,for me, it's a here people who
are poc is like their interpretation ofyeah, of the situations. And he
was so he was so eloquent andso much fun despite literally being on a

(01:18:34):
New York street when he was recordingwith us. Told him, I told
him, I was like, Iwas like, please be in a quiet
place with your head got cole clockedme. He cole clocked me so hard
because as soon as his like zoomimage came up, my face just kind
of dropped a little bit and Iwas like, Andrea, is there anyway

(01:18:57):
you can go inside? It endedup being totally fine. It ended up
being totally fine. Um, II love. We've had some amazing guests.
We had Mario Diaz, who's likemy my nightlife dad, and you
know, one of the origins ofNew York City nightlife and La nightlife if
you ask me, like, he'sreally kind of changed the game here,

(01:19:19):
and he's the lead of Hot Dog. Um. We had by the way,
oh my girl, yeah girl.I make a joke all the time
that half my job as his manageris just managing his his anxiety. And
then here when when when we aretalking about the about him doing the audio,

(01:19:41):
and it was like there was awrong day and he was like,
I'm sorry if I'm being a littleMario about that. Yes, oh no,
no. I think that was thefirst time ever that we had to
do a rerecord with somebody. Itwas with Mario his WiFi side yeah headphun,
Yeah, it was an issue.Um, but we also had h
Allan Scott, who's this amazing comedianand podcaster himself. Joel Someone was an

(01:20:06):
amazing guest. Drew Valentino was somuch fun. But honestly, we have
a lot of episodes that are justthe two of us where we just kind
of talk about and I that thoseare some of my favorites, just because
it just us kind of zeroing inon a fun little topic and geeking out
about it. And as a fan, I feel I'm part of the conversation.

(01:20:27):
I feel like I'm hanging out withyou guys. I'm like, yeah,
I thought about that this week too, and that is exactly what I
want to hear. Like, that'swhat I want. I want people to
feel like we're having a conversation thatthey feel like they could be a part
of. All right, we haveto wrap up, but I want you
to point. I'm gonna say somethingand you point to the person, So
you point to yourself, oh mygod, or you point to the other

(01:20:47):
person. Right, Okay, sowe're just gonna do this. Yeah,
worst driver? Wow, do youhave a worst drive story? And my
bad? I mean, how manytimes have you been in a car with
me? I'm always fair enough.Now you're no, you're just a cautious

(01:21:11):
driver. I think in LA.I think in LA, I'm an aggressive
driver. Okay, I like tosay assertive driver, not aggressive driver.
I think aggressive is oh. Iprefer assertive like my like my tops,
assertive, not aggressive. Okay,point again, biggest flirt. Yeah,

(01:21:34):
takes the most time to get ready. I don't know, probably more than
me, though, I feel likeyou. You're more of You're more of
a luck queen. Do you work? I guess that's true. Do you
work cologne? Well, you guyson the red carpet of the game.
It takes two seconds spread cologne.Okay, all right, okay, point

(01:21:56):
again, worst tipper, Oh,neither of us. We both know how
to tip. Yeah, we've bothbeen, we've both been in service industry.
We know. Most likely to starta fight. Oh maybe me maybe?
Yeah? Yeah, most likely tosay sorry? Is it you?

(01:22:24):
I believe in an apology. Iknow. I think I do too.
I think sorry are very we're verylike. Neither of us are dicks.
Okay, best cook, best cook? Probably? Yeah? Who's better on
camera having sex? That one?That one for sure. I'm good.

(01:22:48):
He's just he's just better. Yeah, I accept that, so cut you
guys. Wow, can you telleverybody Adam where you want people to find
and follow you? Okay, Ihave everything. Yeah, we went way

(01:23:09):
longer than I expected, I know. Yeah, thank you for listening for
whoever still there. By the way, hello, a top rated Apple show,
top rated thank you. I can'twait to hear the comments. I
cannot wait. You can find meat Prince Jasmine on Instagram, which I
love that Instagram. By the thankyou. It's because everyone kept saying that
I look like the butt baby ofPrince Ali and Prince and Jaffar. Considering

(01:23:30):
your intro, yeah, I getthat a lot. Um. But I
also am on Twitter as Adam RamseyUnderscore XO and Ramsey is r A m
Z. I correct the Middle Easternflair all right, So my Instagram is
Cole Connor Underscore Official. My Twitteris Cole Connor x X and every other

(01:23:53):
just for fans and only fans alsoCole Connor xx. Same with me,
Adam. The Twitter matches with theonly fans and the jusper fans, and
I have a lot of news stuffcoming out me too. I've actually had
an uptick in content. Cole coleCool shoots like almost daily. I'm like,
if I have something today, butthis is why I'm like, I

(01:24:15):
have a lot of practice, sogood at it. Sex Switch. So
my mom just texted, I listengreat show. Oh thanks, I told
her because she's still a little weirdabout sex even though we still talk about
it. It was like, that'samazing. Yes, well, will this
show be available postcast? Like postline? Oh great? Cool? Did you

(01:24:38):
read my whole intro? It's availableeverywhere everywhere? Okay, cool, Yes,
for whether you're a six feet under, We're still gonna play it for
you. You guys, thank youso much and sorry for asking. Podcast
is available everywhere. It's also comingto out TV, so it'll be available
on Apple TV, Roku, Amazon, Fire TV. Amazing. Can watch
and listen and please do. It'sso important for the community. Thank you,

(01:25:01):
Thank you for having us. Ofcourse. Of course, well that's
all folks. It's always a grabbag of fun every week here and on
the Rocks. A big thank youto our engineer Tony Sweet, our social
media clip editor Alexis Meadows. Comingup, we are celebrating theater with Jason
Lewis by the way from Strange Loopfrom Broadway. Also, we have Julia
Lester from Into the Woods on Broadwayand from The Secret Garden coming to Almondson

(01:25:26):
Theater. Also, we're going tobe in New York Live with Charles Bush
and Michael Musto. I have noclue what's gonna happens. I'm so jealous.
We can comments in New York SlateA Content creators Max Connors There.
Until next time, Stay tipsy,stay sexy, uh just just be you
boot. This has been another episodeof On the Rocks. Tweet me and

(01:25:50):
slide into my dms on Twitter andInstagram. On the Rocks on air to
find everything on the Rock sport freeon the Rocks Radio Show dot com.
Subscribe, review and share until nextweek. Stay fabulous,